Up... early?

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Yes, well.  It was 21:30, or so, when I woke up.  After going to bed, in truth, at about 16:30?  Five hours down?  Odd.  I feel good.  Not a lot of energy, but I don't hurt.

Nothing to report.  Water should be ready for coffee.  And, in a bit, I'll have eggs and blade chop, half of it?  Something like that.  Maybe some hashed browns as well.

Kefir is going well.  I am starting to see such good product, that even if it is from storebought milk, I can't let it go.  While not raw, or organic, it is... better milk.  I won't touch the kefir, until I have a week or two supply stowed.  And, then, only at replacement levels.  At this point, it is producing about a quart, between the two half quart jars, of kefir every other day.  But it is working faster.  When I moved up to a full quart, for making, or two of those, I will put spare grains, in an half quart jar, in fresh milk, in the fridge.  And, turn that over every two weeks... depending on how fast it grows.  It will be my backup.  I might make two of those.

I have frozen fruits, berry varieties... a variety of varieties... ready for when kefir is back on the menu.  I do love that stuff.  And, this time, I am sure I got the kefir started on weakened milk, so everything should be there... the various probiotics, cultures, and else.  I am excited to begin blending all that again.  I wish I could have done it through the summer.  But even now, it will do.  It is such a good food to eat.  And, while I don't believe in leaky gut, or other such things.   I do KNOW, that these things help digestion.  My gut absolutely crushed corn.  Not even a visible kernel was seen, save maybe once when I backed up for just a bit after eating... many ears, many days in a row.  I must have eaten three dozen in three days, plus a few dozen leading up to it.  :P  Loved that corn.

Well, on to gaming.  Already looked around.  If Sassy came down, I'll feed her furry face, tend her litter box either way, and make some coffee.  It's still 72, in this front room.  It was 64/65 upstairs.  And it is 67/69 elsewhere in the house.  It's good weather.  Didn't happen too fast, or drop hard, or go too dark for too long... or yet.  I am really enjoying this fall.  Oh, it's... 46 outdoors.  But... a pleasant 46.  Amen.  Another summer survived.

It is crippling me just a bit, but I am attempting to balance, and doing well.  Good evening, night, and later.

About bedtime.

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16:10, as I write this.  More gaming, but that is about it.

Well, cream arrived, though I think I already wrote about that?

And, I called my mother.  Today was her turn to miss my call.  I don't mind.  I just left a little message.  I'll call in another day or two.  Just hope she is having a good weekend.

Yes, on to bed.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.  At least I made it into the afternoon.  I'll let Sassy come up, if she wants.  *zzz*

Still awake.

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Will be, for a while, I suspect.  Not doing much.  Just gaming.  I take a break from that, from time to time, and attempt to break out to other things.  If nothing else, I hop on the machine and take a look around the internet.

Cream, and just that, was delivered today.  Perfect.  Both responded, in time.  To my texts.  I wasn't sure my texts went through, but they did.  May not have been checked, though.  Especially if pops was driving.  It's what I call him, even if he is a decade and possibly change younger.  Kids, raising, them, and not, will do that to both ends of the thing.  Ha!  

Actually, I have as many as he has, of which I know.  Plus the two which didn't make it.  I just didn't raise them.  It doesn't take the same out of a man, as a woman.  It takes years out of a man, not body costs.  Odd how that works.  They seem to become more fragile, literally giving parts and aspects of the their forms, while we... just... die younger, for the effort.  From what I have seen.

The game is going well.  If some parts really... sometimes what to do, or how to do it, are very problematic.  Though, playing when old, ill, and tired... up late... can cause problems too.  But, it's... getting there.  Some parts of the game I am not sure I can do, or do well enough.  Will see.  Then again, I have surprised myself at what I have been able to do.  Some of that I wasn't sure I would be able to do, but did with aplomb.  If it took a bit, some practice, some experience.

I... haven't looked up but one game process.  The rest, from puzzle mini-games, to tricky gameplay, I have figured out on my own.  And, the one thing I looked up?  I was doing it correctly, I just didn't feel like it was letting me know I was.  And it didn't, not until you finished all of a line of tasks, all similar.  Not bad for an old guy.

I am feeding Sassy a bit differently.  I am only giving her a third of a can, at a time, stretching it a bit... if feeding her more often.  Otherwise she wastes.  I think she really is enjoying the new method.  It doesn't mean she will get fed more, or necessarily less, in a day, but I am going to begin to aim at less feeding.  I have been aiming for that, for a while.  I get to it, then... get lost and return to the old average.  She is... superior at begging.

A bit more gaming, then on to bed, I think.  I did call my brother.  I don't expect a return call.  I'll probably need to call him a few times, until he is in shape, and available, for a call.  All good, truly.  I have the freedom he doesn't.  Not any better health, but... I think even a better mental health.

Well, on to it then.  Good afternoon, good day, and possibly goodnight.  I'll put you in my prayers, probably by name if you read here and have ever commented, or I know you.  Yes... have a great day.

Nachos!

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Oh, yeah.  Burger was fried up.  The one package of ground chicken I had out went bad, but the beef was just fine.  So, I fried it.  I left some in the pan, if I dumped all the juice, added black beans, and let it go.  Adding cheese when it was done, then eating the hot mess with corn chips.  A big glass of water on the side worked well.

It is 00:24.  I am not doing much.  Not quite able to do much.  I did get medicine in, for Friday.  The trick to get Saturday medicine is now a thing.  When to take it, to remember.  It's best to take the first dose around 03:00 to 10:00, that way, even if I crash for a bit, I only have one dose for later.  Though, if I stay up into the afternoon, and remember, I can get the last dose in.  Medicine, like food, and even showers, is a bit of a trick.

When everything you do in life is... a process you have to consciously think about, remember, and then apply?  Life is difficult.  Down to how much to drink, when to drink, how fast to drink.  That's just water.  If I just live, doing what seems... natural, or by how I feel, I... will end up dead very quickly.  Even just having nachos, tonight, was unwise.  But I was so hungry.  I don't mind drinking the quart of water, with it.  But did stop there.  I can easily, sometimes, drink an half gallon, even a gallon, for no good reason.

Medicines, even current ones, but definitely ones from the past, made me so devilishly thirsty I couldn't sort that part of life.  I used to drink gallons of water, soda, and beer, a day.  I couldn't do otherwise.  So thirsty, always.  It was difficult to keep in fluids, keep enough on hand.  Especially when water began to only make my thirst worse, no matter how much I drank.

I have learned to drink normal water, finally, again.  I do drink r.o. water, pretty much exclusively... or mineral, carbonated, waters... which have been treated.  Actually, I used those to begin to get back to even being able to drink plain water.  It took... two years?  I think, to get back to plain water.  Three?  But, now, I am there.  Carbonated and mineral waters, the good ones, are out of my price range anymore.  I still have some, once in a while though.  But drink them more as people who drink soda more rightly drink them... a few a week or a month.

Still, dinner was fantastic.  A bit of cheese did melt in, mostly.  And, sour cream on the side.  Beans and chips are high carb, but I was so very hungry.  I have a couple meals worth of burger cooked, and ready for something else... from egg casserole to dirty keto rice, to keto spaghetti.  And, yes, I'll be keeping it keto.  Plus, I have chicken left, one or two meals (and it was and seems to remain delicious), plus a pork blade chop of enormous proportions remaining.  As well, fresh veggies to steam, and carrots and celery to have with peanut butter or ranch dressing... if I can get that going.  Good foods, ready.  And keto.  But... anyway.

Sorting out the game still.  Though I realize why I can't follow the instructions.  The dolts suggest they are offering beginner advice.  BUT?  But they have all tools and skill trees filled out.  They are also probably playing on a second playthrough with the leveled 'toons.  Idiots.  I am doing about as good as possible, with the skills and such I have unlocked.  Plus, I have completed every side part of the game, and learned how to simply travel through the game.  I can't do too much more, anyway, because the fancier travel, and tricks, are based on a skill, at least one, I don't yet have.  No, I am doing okay.  If I would like to figure something out.  I don't seem to be able to knock people upwards, then fight them in the air.  It just isn't working.  I think the game is cheating, or took things away, or made opponents who can't be lifted?  Just not quite sure, but the keys that are supposed to do some things no longer work.  Meh, I'll keep at it.  

Not bad for a guy whose body really is just trying to die.  I push, and pull, sleep when I must, rest from time to time.  But... I will do anything I can do to do what I should be doing.  I'll never get there?  But I'll never give up until it is over.  I see, with my elders, how... that is.  For the best of them.  Life really is just hard.  It is a suffering.  But... it's... a gift, too.  I do thank God, even for the pain.  Sometimes it is all I can produce, offer, my God.  So... I do.  Later. 

Up, for whatever that means.

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Currently, up is down, left is right, over is under, and the boogie man is winning?  Well, something like that.  Awake around 20:00, and maybe some larger or smaller change.  Sassy was fed first thing?  Well, after I emptied my tank.  Feeling mostly good, for what that is worth, but the world is blurry.

I... did get a call back from my doctor, his office.  An appointment is set, by phone I should check, for next month.  But, I asked them to set up a blood test.  She always argues, and says that is always available.  But I know from direct experience, that it isn't.  And, I don't get reimbursed if it isn't set up.  No, I... won't play that game.  Fact, I will call again, next week, to make sure it is penned in, as an official visit.  They games they play...  But... started.  On that.

Then I contacted the son, to see if the dad had gotten my text.  They just became available for texts, so maybe it didn't even go through?  He passed the information along, so this week, only cream.  It saves a lot of money, when you are dealing with raw, good, stuff.  And, for this and next week, if I go without, I am in better shape.  Plus, after that, I will probably cut milk to just one gallon, to start.

I have enjoyed drinking raw milk, this last week, two?  But it really isn't good for one.  When I get kefir going, I will draw two gallons, and will use most of that for kefir.  But there should be some left over for cooking.  Cheese sauces, with heavy milk, can't be beat.  Well, unless they cause problems with diabetes.  Ugh.

By the by, I am amazed at medicine.  I have been on it, pretty much straight, for five, or six, maybe seven months, now?  Oh... I... have missed a few doses.  I don't think more than three days, or even three days straight, since.  I think the stuff is working.  

It... hasn't... cured... anything.  But it has suspended the dying process.  For... what little that serves the world, true.  But, it has alleviated the suffering a great deal.  I still go through agony a weaker man would put himself down for.  I still crawl into my body, roll into a ball, and whimper like a beat dog.  I still fall, from time to time, asleep for long periods, though no longer for days, or weeks, at a time.  The improvements are vast, but I... am just suspended, inches, to feet, from the finish line.  Even now, sometimes, I pass the veil, but not so... painfully.  After all the years, I finally found a doc who, or two really, who... pushed, pulled, cajoled, and worked with me, to get me to this point.  Some... doctors can be trusted, mostly.  Then they went and pushed the vax.  Oh well.  At least they have been kept at a distance, so as not to be allowed to mandate or try that.

On to gaming, again.  Food, eventually?  Or not.  Dreamed of burger and cheese and egg(?) casserole?  Oh, then woke to see someone had looked up a recipe for that.  I wonder if I dreamed, while they were reading that post, looking at that vid?  So... weird, how things work.  Later!

Just gaming.

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Not perfect, but not horrible.  Can't do much else, even eat.  And I am hungry.  My stomach has been growling for the last five hours.  And, I was hungry when I went to bed, and through the night.  Just not hungry enough, then to now, to eat.  Yet.  I am doing okay, in the game.  But I am far from truly proficient.  I couldn't focus, to figure out a few moves.  I had been doing them before, but seem to have lost the grooves for a few things.  I'll... review how to do the ones I want.  Soon.

Ah, while writing this, I remembered to call the V.A.  No appointment was set up, but a message was passed to my doctor's office.  I am sure he will require a blood test, a number of them, and possibly other things.  So, I'd like to get that in, then have the information waiting for him when he talks to me on the phone.  Now I just have to wait for a call.

It is 56 outside, or was an half hour ago.  I doubt if it has warmed.  With the furnace at 68, the house is staying between 68 and 71 up here, near the computer.  Fall is well and truly upon us.  But it is a truly pretty year, this year... the leaves... nice colors, still plush.

Pickles, capers, shampoo, and some bangles, by which to hopefully craft an arm pin cushion.  I've seen some of those, created by some of my sewing gurus, and with ideas on how to make my own.  They aren't good, and I am allergic to base metals, but I plan on layering them in cloth, even adding padding... not just for the needles, but also around the wrist if more lightly.  They were due in yesterday, but it amazon didn't suggest they were out for delivery.  Today it says these are out.

Baby pickles? Capers?  Beside for egg salads, also I really want to craft beef tartare this coming month.  I won't be able to make much.  Perhaps an half pound of meat, depending on the price.  But, yeah, I have been wanting to do that for years now.  I know I like it.  I would guess I should be able to do just as well as any chef, on the plainer side of things.  Shampoo?  Someone got most of my stash.  I had two or three bottles... gone, save for what I was using.  They left the conditioner, though.  Rather strange.

Chilly.  But I am hoping the nurse calls, and we get this set up, before long.  I am starting to get tired again.  I am not sure I can do much else, or for long.  But, I will keep the phone, a bit of paper, and a pen near the bed.  And... try to answer any calls that come through.  I do my best, but I'm sort of in a pickle.  Still, I would like to wait for the ups packages.

Hmm... something to eat.  Well, and I may check the kefir.  I did my first change yesterday.  But it might be doable again.  It had really thickened well.  Though, maybe not.  Kefir is weird.  Warm, cool, mood... it isn't always as one would think.  Remember the show The Blob?  I think it was?  I... am all but sure that is what it was based on.  Either that, or sourdough starter?  Something.

I remember that from when I was... quite young.  Asking my mom about the stuff, and whether it could be real.  She could have teased me, but was usually... usually... pretty nice to me about truths.  And, when she fibbed, she gave it away (if I don't think she had to).  She could lie, with the best, but usually didn't.  Too honest?  I think it's a family thing.

I may call my brother.  I won't reach him, most likely.  But... that's okay.  He knows.  I... don't need him to approve, or agree.  I know he is in bad shape too.  It isn't for that that I call.  It's because any one of us could be dead and gone tomorrow.  And I am not going to live with regret, when I could just call.  Like it or not, it's the way of things.  Good morning, day, and maybe goodnight.

Wow.

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Weird.  I didn't get to bed until 02:00?  Later, but how much I can't remember.  I got tucked in, and slept like a champ.  Warm, soft, comfortable, deep?  It... was a wonderful sleep.  Then, I woke around 05:30, and... I am awake.

I don't hurt, I'm not too hot or too cold.  I am not exhausted, if I am not full of pep either, exactly.  Just... ready for the day?  I guess so.  Very strange.  Friday, right?  I didn't sleep and extra day in there?  Nope, it's... Friday.  Very strange.

But, that's fine.  I'll have a coffee, before long.  Maybe make a few eggs, perhaps with corned beef hash?  Bacon?  Something.  I am just with a touch of hunger.  The hunger I went to bed with.  Not gnawing, just there.  Food more sounds good, than is beckoning, or commanding to be fed.  I could go all day with this sort of hunger, only tending it should I have the energy, or will.  No... terrible need, even with the growling stomach.

I... actually like having a growling stomach.  Especially if I am not going to do much.  The body is such a splendid and odd thing.  Mine is overweight, knows it.  Can't work hard enough, often enough, to push weight off.  But, I can let it go a bit without.  Metabolism is just too slow, even when I can work.

Well... up.  For the day?  For a while?  I just don't know.  Later.

Nearly a quarter after.

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Midnight.

Time to try to get to bed, again.  I closed the upstairs windows, and will open the door, for Sassy to visit, should she wish it.  She was up with me, when I tried to get to sleep earlier.  Probably will come up now.

I have been playing, and doing... better.  A few things I need to learn to do, a few things have been learned.  But, so many things to learn.  There are limits, especially when I am barely in shape to just... do the standard moves and combinations.  Still, I... am getting better.

A short prayer.  A quick jaunt up the stairs, and into bed.  And, hopefully, a bit of peace and quiet through the night.  Not sure why I couldn't sleep.  How is it possible that I could stay awake so long.  And, yesterday, I slept so much.  Both are difficulties which usually don't bookend each other so tightly in time.

Goodnight.

Sleep just isn't going to happen yet.

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I got up there, tucked in.  Nightcap on, over my eyes.  Warm enough, not too warm, or cold.  Blankets on, and... just... nothing.  It's 19:30, or was when I realized sleep simply wasn't going to happen.  I tried every trick I know.  But, sometimes, sleep simply won't happen.

So, back to gaming.  Not sure that is the best way to get to sleep, but don't have a lot of other options.  The internet rolls up, with it's mostly uniparty sentiments for what they are worth, shutting down for the night a couple of hours ago.  And y.t. is pretty dead, these days.  Nothing good new, very little new at all.  And less of any worth.  Flicking through that is like when I used to flick through 300 channels of dredge on the television, trying to get to sleep, or learn something.  The new MTV, I guess... a dead channel of channels.

Have you ever had a tiny sliver of fingernail, on the side of one nail, splinter off and get wedged... but so small you can't find it.  So one finger, my right ring finger, hurts to use.  Bleh.  I've tried to dig it out, even find it, to no avail, for half the day today.  Misery loves company, I prefer to be alone.  :)

Well, on to some gaming.  Maybe a cup of fatted coffee?  Or just some water?  Hungry, just not hungry enough to cook, or even heat something up.  Almost pleasantly hungry, with a rumbling belly.  Strange, but okay.  Later.

Still up at nearly 17:00?

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Had to push through.  Muscles are exhausted in odd ways.  No more food.  Medicine did go in.

I got on the game.

Something I have learned, is if you really want to get good at something?  Do it right through sleepiness, or drunkeness.  Since I am as dry as a land lubber, sleepiness will have to do.  Oh, I still don't have it.  I mean, generally, I can get around.  I can go at speed, right until I can't.  I can corner while swinging.  Have learned many things.  If, honestly, I suck at the game.

Of course, for about a dozen reasons, it is good to do what one is terrible at doing.  It is good for learning, exploring weaknesses, as well as purely for humilities sake.  Don't underestimate that last.  It's what I need more than anything else.  Heck, wouldn't surprise me if that is why I am still alive.  God has... need of that, from me?  Maybe.  I feel that is where He is guiding me.  I can't say I like that direction, only that I try to stay open to His will, and this.  Well, that's my story.

I am learning.  I am... not dying... or too often.  Though, if this is the easy path, I'd hate to see the difficult paths!  Of course I go easy, first, usually!  Just like when preparing for battle, you don't just toss raw recruits in, unless you have absolutely no choice.  I learn where to go, what to do, how to do it, before having to do it and do heavy combat, together.

Exhausted beyond almost crawling up to bed.  But, I'll get there.  I was told that some items would be here today.  I doubt it, strongly.  No worries, though, either.  Today, tomorrow, Monday... it's all good.  Some of what is arriving is for a project I have had on my mind for some time.

Oh, just about... falling asleep just sitting here writing.  I really have to get on to bed.  Lorretta Lynn?  I think she died just recently.  Not sure if I heard or dreamed it.  I'll say a small prayer for her as I sleep, and her family.  I remember, when she entertained, and life at least seemed... simpler.  Maybe life was never simple, or only for the young and dim?  But it seemed like it, once, even to me.

Goodnight.

Ouch, but...

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It is 13:02, and I remain awake.  Okay, maybe it doesn't hurt that much.  A bit uncomfortable.  But, if I can't break, and slow down, then I will hit the accelerator, or both.  Try to rock out of the predicament.  Just because I can't, doesn't mean I won't try.  How do you think I ended up with eight kids, if only six, that I know of, hit the ground screaming?  Well, I wanted to be a husband, right father.  Just had a ghost I couldn't even remember, chasing me off.

Last I checked, it was 63 outside.  Not a bad day.  I didn't check earlier, but it was 38 well after sunup, I think around 10:30.  Probably a bit cooler, but didn't have the air of having frosted.  Though... when the sun is doing it's thing, even this into fall, it might have evaporated the evidence, even by then.

I texted, about the milk.  I don't have the daughter's contact information.  The parents are... away.  Not sure it will get to them, and back, in time.  But... what is one to do?  Their best, as always.

Medicine is being taken, save insulin.  I keep losing track of that.  Oh, while thinking of such things, I may call the V.A. and set some things up.  A phoned doctor visit, and a blood test... possibly urinalysis if that is required.  I am running low, and he needs blood tests to check things.  Yes, I will call.

I may get on the game, as well.  See if I can tinker without the game getting to fussy.  I haven't, officially, made it too far, or even for sure out of, the beginning part.  But my travel ability is so weak, and combat sucks.  So, I... want to tinker.  I like it when games gives us time to go off on our own, and learn the controls.  A replayable, optional, starter guide would be great.  A one-time rough guide just doesn't cut it.

Food?  No, I am absolutely stuffed from dinner and lunch.  Chicken, and the pork blade.  I did put the other pork blade chop up though.  In a gallon zipbag.  It'll be a fine meal soon.  Though I think burger is for tomorrow... tonight to you.  A nice bowl of well spiced fried burger is handy for a lot of things, there will be plenty of extra.  I wish I could find salad makings, to my liking.  Taco salad is excellent, plus offers greens, roughage, and bits of else.  Hopefully I can get in, and check, tomorrow.  More so if I can repeat today, plus some.  Then again, not sure what today is, as it isn't over.  I don't think it is.

Later, or goodnight... if I crash in a hurry.  Later. 

10:22

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Still awake.  Not quite up to playing.  The game requires too much... focus?  And I am just not up to it.  But, I can, and have been, looking over suggestions for play.  I'm still not quite seeing the web travel, but... as with much, that will take time.  Until it is muscle memory, it is very difficult.  Thinking, then acting, takes too much time and effort.  Once it becomes remembered by the body, then improvements, added skills, and such, can be developed and used.  Frustrating.  Like having to learn to tie one's shoes all over again.

Had hoped.

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The goal was to get to bed early.  Say, midnight, or 01:00... maybe 03:00.  It just didn't happen, couldn't happen.  Sleep simply wasn't possible.  Why?  Slept too late into the day?  Meds or health are off?  Who knows.  I did what I could, which ended up not being much.

But, I did get two pork blade chops cooked.  Not... for one meal.  They were larger chops.  But, they were both in the package, so... yeah.  I could have frozen one, cooked the other.  But... I can always use the other for  another meal, or two.  It was even bigger than the one I ate.

As well, I baked another potato, cooked broccoli just right, and shaved a pile of gruyere to try on the potato and broccoli.  Okay, the gruyere didn't add much to the broccoli or potato.  But it didn't hurt the experience.  If you wanted to add it, for purely nutritional elements, like adding fat, then sure.  Otherwise I wouldn't.  But, with a new food hammer, I want to hit as many nails as I can, see where it fits.

The meal was grand.  I was quite pleased with it.  I pan fried the chops, then let them rest in the cooling oven, with the potato, while I did the broccoli.  A bit of butter, a bit of coconut oil, and spices and herbs galore.  That almost tasted like a middling beefsteak?  Or a beef/sheep chop... a cross.  It... was pretty good.

I finished around 07:00, it's twenty five after now.  Can't sleep, even yet.

I also started in on Spider-Man.  Bleh.  There is some interest there, but learning how to swing is... a whole other issue.  I have looked at a few videos, about how to do it.  But I still don't have a good grasp on which buttons to push, when, and such.  I'll just have to practice.  

I am hoping the mission starts aren't timed, but are based on showing up at particular points.  If so, I can swing around the concrete jungle, practice other things, and generally goof around until I feel able to get to a place in a reasonable amount of time, not jogging half the way.  We'll see.  The freebie also came with three dlc's, or they were really cheap?  I think these were free.  Anyway... so there is more than just the game.  And, the trophies are attainable without online play.  All solo, or... seems so from what I have seen.  May continue playing it.  For now.

But still tonight?  Maybe.  If more just learning which buttons to spam, in what order, to get anywhere at speed.  Hey, I haven't played such a game in...  Well, I doubt ever.  These just weren't my type of game.  Not nearly dark, brooding, dungeonous, enough.  And his... personality... is annoying.  Think how Wolverine interacts with... fresh, smiley, cutesy.

Still, it offers challenges.  I did set the fighting to a bare minimum, so I can learn the rest first.  Either it didn't really work, or that was a scripted, mandatory, fight.  Will see in time.  Fed Sassy several times through the night, cleared her litter boxes twice and am about to check it again.  May take a shower, before I tinker with the game.  And, should get the chop put up.  There is enough, between the chop and the chicken, for a few days of food?  Would like to get burger fried up, tomorrow/today yet, and make a keto spaghetti, or dirty keto rice type dish.  And, I have plenty of eggs.  Should boil some of the storebought ones.  Hoping to get salad, soon.  And eggs go well with, in, or as another form of, salad.

Feeling slightly better.  It's like only one half of my body hurts as much, the left side.  Not as bad as before, either.  An odd thing.  Haven't had that before.  Meh.  I'll take a few more pain pills.  It's against my protocols, but this is weird.  Later, or goodnight if I fade and falter too quickly to report.  Good morning, in any case.

Sick man, teacher, sister, brother, dead man.

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I certainly know that riddle.  The answer?

Got it.

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The final trophy of the final dlc content package.  It was more of a grind, than else.  This game isn't fun to play on harder levels, so I won't.  The only reason I went for the trophies, is because I had them for the main game.  But, now, I have all the trophies available for the main section and three other packages.  I'm not sure what the third one was, a free dlc?  I don't remember.

I did get Spiderman as a free download.  I may or may not play it.  I probably wouldn't care for it all that much.  Don't know how much political correctness they have shoved into it.  Not sure it is worth finding out.  If so, not for a while.

I had half of the remaining leftovers of the chicken.  Oh, that was just about as good tonight as it was yesterday.  Wrapped in foiled, heated in the oven for an half hour.  Very good.  I offered Sassy some, she seemed interested, but, no.  She wouldn't even touch it.  All good, I tried.  And, she was begging.

The painkillers have helped, if just a bit.  The pain is more in the 7/10 rather than 9 or 10 out of 10.  Maybe 6?  Still pretty rough, but I am almost used to it.  Just, when it sneaks up on me, it can catch me off guard.

On, perhaps, to bed?  If I can.  Can't do much else.  Either that, or watching a show.  Only the older ones.  Shows before the 2000's are a bit too gimmicky, or old, for my tastes, usually.  It isn't just the close, hair, or else, it's the whole way of thinking.  Funny thing is, those were, at their time, considered advanced, edgy.  The only thing you can be certain about the fashionable side of things, is they will pass badly, and weren't all that good to start.  Some idiot wanted to sell you something new, so they hired some other (if beautiful, handsome, strong, or whatever) idiot to showcase their goods.  And... you were taught to think you would gain some aspect of the idiot, hired by the other idiot.

Though, to be honest, I think most people are over fashion edges.  Not all by choice.  The crushing of the middle class might end up being a good thing.  Let the rich remain gaudy.  And alone.  One thing they will realize, when they shove everyone else out, a shut down their access to all but the plainest of clothes, is that their false tastes will no longer be beloved, followed, or even desired.  Merely hated.  Those things will make them easy marks, when the time comes.  And... it's coming.

When you truly destroy Rome, to enjoy your evils, the darkness will truly descend upon you.  You have no idea what you have done, but will know shortly enough.  It always amazes me how dubious their hold on reality is, right until there is absolute clarity, which is usually right after they realize there is nowhere to run.  Nowhere to hide.  And buying people's souls bought them not a friend, certainly not an ally, in a world darkened by their greed, lust, and filth of soul.  Man will choose his fate, one at a time.  And receive it, one at a time.  Later.

Good and bad things, news.

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I do have another month of medication, sorted into a pill dispenser.  That... was a relief.  I think it is complete, will look again, during the day.  Assuming I can be awake during the day any time soon.  What a relief, though.  I was so worried.

On the bad side?  Everything continues to hurt.  Have you ever had what seems like the very veins and arteries, in your arms and legs, and torso, hurt?  That's what it feels like.  Beside muscles, joints, and maybe tendons, something hurts deep within those.  I have no idea why.  I did a bit of work, but not that much.  Now, the sawzall rattles everything, especially since sometimes, on shorter lengths, there isn't much to brace the wood with.  So rattles become excessive.  Though, to be honest, I think that feels good.  It massages, right down in.  Not sure what else... then again, this happens, from time to time, regardless of what I do or don't do.  Life, for me, sometimes simply hurts.  And in the weirdest of ways.

Meh.  I'll get to gaming.  See if that can help me regain my wits.  And, thing about more chicken, then possibly cooking burger, and possibly blade chops.  I'll have to be able to stand, and think, first.  Which hasn't been happening yet tonight.  A bit of reading, and listening, trying to shake things up, and free.  But, just hurting.  I broke down, and took pain pills.  Those don't seem to be helping.  Oh well.

I got Sassy some snacks, fed her when I woke.  I suppose I will open the back porch, so she can get to hard cat tack.  It's not great, but it is something.  I'll check her litter box, too.  Again?  I think I hit it, when I woke.  Not sure.  This will make it good, if not.

If I can do something, I'll do some work in this front room tonight.  If not?  I... will try to be to bed early, again.  That is the hope, regardless what else happens though.  On to gamin, and heating some chicken.  Sassy won't eat cooked chicken.  Sam loved it.  I do miss Sam, and sometimes, if grudgingly, sharing my meals.  There is something about giving away what you don't want to share that... improves a human.  Or... whatever it is I am.  She was good for my soul.  Sassy is too, just in different ways.  Later.

A rough one.

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I was to bed by 02:30, 3:00 tops.  I was sure I'd be awake by noon.  Nope.  I tried, several times.  At 18:30, I finally was able, if just, to crawl out, get dressed, and get down here.  I fed Sassy first thing.  She is doing with less, which I don't mind from time to time.

I feel rotten.  Inside and out, skin, meat, bones.  Everything seems to ache.  Like I took a solid beating recently.  Things had been doing well.  Then slowly exhaustion started creeping back in.  If too, I started pushing, hard.  And doing well with it for a few short spells.  Well, that is done, for now.

I'll still try to sort through things, get to things.

Maybe having better food will help.  The chicken will last several days.  If to, I hope to fry some burger, and pork blade chops for the week.  A variety, mostly of meats, but with fresh veggies too.

We'll see what I can do.  Currently, sitting, and staying awake, are almost above my paygrade.  I will look for any opportunities I can find though.

It isn't too cold.  Yet.  Keeping the downstairs right around 68, save near the computer, which between me and it currently keeps this area around 73.  Even last night, with it down to 63 to 67 near the bed, I didn't need longjohns or even a tshirt.  I was fine in skivvies, with just one to two layers of blankets.  No socks, either.  I was too warm, almost, as was.

Oh, but when I was waking, I heard the mad biker go buy.  This time, however, he shifted down and really cooled it.  I am all but sure he is the one who has been racing through her for... some time now, off and on.  I think the cops were having trouble catching him, especially in their suvs.  He would just skip on past and keep going.  But, yesterday, he got clocked by a motorcycle cop.  I saw it just as it was happening.  He was trying to ignore, and did, the sound.  Right until the biker cop was right on him.  Then he realized the gig was up.  That he still has his license means the cop... showed some mercy.  Because he was really scooting.  No, I have no problems with all that.  It's how it should be done.  Probably still has a stinging nosebleed ticket, but he could have lost his license right then and there.  I'd bet on it.  Good to hear, for his own sake mostly, that he is cooling his jets.  I get it, I was young.  Still, had to grin, as I was waking, hearing him roaring up to the town, then, this time, shutting it down and going to speed limit, or... much closer.  :p

Well, on to something.  Later.

Wow.

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That was... excellent!  I didn't end up adding in any fresh veggies.  Thankfully.  Full, and I only had a breast and hindquarter, cut off the whole bird, plus a potato.  It really wasn't that much food.  It's just that I haven't been eating well or correctly lately.  So, good food just absolutely stuffed me.

Oh, I did add more potent cayenne, and a hefty amount.  But with the bird, juices, and else, it was well modified down to a pleasant... spiciness that wasn't hot.  Just... resembled truly hot food.  Perfect, to my palate.  And I would bet mild enough for even normals.

Quite pleased.  I was almost sure that chicken would be bad.  But, nope!  The spices, herbs, and brining can help.  But, if it is off, I can't eat it.  Sometimes just a smell, but definitely the taste.  Even if it is just a bit old tasting, I can' do it.  This chicken was good, excellent even.  I'll have to get it put up, possibly save the juices.  Sometimes God just tosses you a gift you don't deserve.

I don't think I can keep up on cooking.  I'll be up just a while longer, in order to let the chicken cool, and then get it put away.  But then I'm going to bed.  I am hoping to finish the wood pile tomorrow, pick up the bark and bits, then mow back there.  Any other work will be indoors.

I did get the cat food down, sorted, and put away.  I just haven't had the energy to do much else.  All good.  Oh... may put blankets out on the line tomorrow.  Hopefully that will work, so I don't have to wash them as often.  I would much rather just put them out, let them air, than have to wash them quarterly.  But, if that doesn't work, I'll just have to wash them again and again, or portions of them every half a year?  We'll see.  Tending my bedding is sort of a new trick, just learning how to do it best.

Later, or more likely goodnight.  I'll do some gaming, while I get ready for bed.  Goodnight, almost definitely.  My your guardian angel be with you... say hello for me.  And, may God be your guide, good or ill, through the night.  *blink blink*

A bit rusty.

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Shoulder joints, muscles everywhere, the right wrist... muscles and joints.  All good.  I wish I could be more sore.  I just wasn't able to get to all that much.  Maybe tomorrow.  I'll get a few more things done tonight.  If, too, I may try to get to bed much earlier.  Yes, try.

I brined the whole chicken.  And, while it was brining, I put potatoes in to bake.  After an hour, I patted the chicken as dry as I could, then salted, and spiced it otherwise... a spot of italian seasoning, sage... rolled, black pepper, garlic powder, and a fresh onion peeled and sliced in half.  Not only does fresh onion, or garlic, do well for flavor, I eat it as a delicious side.

The chicken has gotten an half hour, at 350.  I opened it up, and will turn it to 415.  Giving it twenty minutes on one side, another twenty on the other side?  More or less.  I'm still not sure if the meat is good.  It smelled okay, but I am finding that raw smell doesn't always tell the whole story.  If it doesn't work, I have other meats.  And, I mean to get to them yet tonight anyway.  Dinner will just be delayed.

I did get the second to the last trophy tonight.  Working on the final one.  I guess that will be it for gaming, unless I go to an older one, and work on it.  I would like to do Doom, but they require online play, which excludes me.  Hate playing with people I don't know.  Half are trolls, half are idiots, and the overlap isn't close to 100%.

Oh... I'll get the cat food downstairs, and sorted on the shelves.  While the chicken finishes... I have time.  Then I'll clear the litter boxes.  Sassy has been very happy with me being showered.  She has been a bit lonely, with me being too gnarly for her countenance.  She wanted to be with me, just... it wasn't her thing.  She is a woman, it's how that goes.

Well, on to a few chores, then hopefully dinner.  Oh, I may make some fresh veggies.  It's been a while.  Good day.

Well, things are different.

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Okay.  I looked back through some emails.  I was told, but... didn't see it.  The meeting I rushed to get ready for, and be out to, isn't tonight.  Why did I think it was tonight?  Usually it is the second Tuesday.  Not this month.  But, too, this isn't the second Tuesday.  But, Now I know.  Ugh.

All good.  I've missed two.  One because they must have moved the date, as well.  And I just didn't see the date.  At least tonight I didn't miss it, I was just early.  All good.  I just hope my days and nights don't flip so much that I miss when it is.  I can only do just so much.  I'll try.  I will.

The sun is just setting.  It is 58 out there, but feels... good.  I would like to get back to work, but I just showered.  And it is getting dark.  So, I will just enjoy a quiet night.  Perhaps do some cooking.  Maybe do light cleaning in this front room.  Slowly take things needing to be stored down to the basement.  Not... a lot, but a few things.

I'll do what I can.  Later.

Well, okay.

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Not everything.  But...  I started with the fencing.   Using the trimmer, I loosened it, the remaining one.  About twelve feet of well held fence line, cut, the pulled, cut, then pulled, until I got it off.  Rolling it up as well as I was able, then getting it stuffed in the outbuilding.  Then I rolled up the other one, that was mostly free.  In it went.  And, as a final cleanup, I used the weed whip to clear, much more exactingly, the fence line area.  Fencing is all put up, and the area is cleaner, plus I found a few pieces of flat wood, which I set near the outbuilding.

I then got to the bigger pieces of wood cut, of what was remaining, and started in on the medium to smaller branches.  I used the sawzall, as I didn't have a good way to use the chainsaw.  Even the sawzall use was a bit sketch.  Still, got it done to the point I used the battery up.  I brought it in, put a fresh battery in, but that is it for tonight.  I have other things I must do, and light will be gone by the time I finish.

I won't be putting blankets out, tonight.  Too many other things must be done.  A shower, after I cool a bit.  Then dressing like a human.  Still so tired.  My body did not want to get up and still wants to be in bed.  I'm with it, really, I just have things I really wanted to complete.

I worked for an hour.  And, while it is only 66 out there, seemingly the high for the day?  I am overheated, sweating, and ready for a break.  Not sure why I am so hot.  But, oh well.  At least I got some of it.  I am almost sure, if I can work, I will finish the yard tomorrow, and be able to get all but raking, saplings and such cut, and will be leaving the sprinklers out for one or two more waterings... assuming it doesn't freeze, and stay frozen, really soon.

Very good.  More invigorating efforts numb pain, for a while.  Yes, the body hurts.  But... it would hurt no matter what I do, or don't do.  Might as well, if I can focus, put my back into it.  A good day.  And, I did get some things done yesterday.  Not much, but... some things.

No real cooking yesterday, maybe today.  Later, in the evening.  Well, on to resting.

Awake, finally.

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Oh but what a brutal day.  First, I got to bed around 05:xx.  I have no idea, other than it was after that hour but before six.  Then I started waking, and my body wanting to wake, around 09:30.  Then every half hour to hour it would beg me to get up.  Asshole!

Then, as it started getting toward when I wanted to get up, my body refused to budge.  Around 14:00 onward, every half hour to hour, even every fifteen minutes, I would wake and want to get up but my body would just lump there.  Could not shove it out.  What assholery is this!  Never mind, it is 15:09 and I am finally awake.

I would say even an hour before 14:00, so two hours of begging and pushing my body to wake.  It still isn't really awake, that's just me.

I fed Sassy, first thing.  Opened the back porch, so she has access to hard food.  She is eating more, now.  It just that I cut off her food supply for while I sleep.  To be honest, I should do it while I am awake, I just have no way of feeding her through the night, nor would I wish to contend with her while I am awake and she is hungry.  She is a pest, as is, while I sleep.  She makes noises, and else.  Sometimes I hear them, sometimes not... consciously.  But she does disturb my sleep.  Though, it isn't all just food.  Even when I forget to shut the porch off, she does the same thing.

Ah, a call from mother?  Well.  All good.  Then, a delivery.  I think the last or second to last package for the month?  More paper plates.  I am getting littler and big plates.  And, I reuse until they are shot.  It's about saving money, at least to a point.  But, too, it limits my exposure to dishes, because I can't keep up!  I keep two boxes, one open... of each size.  One full.  When I hit the full one, I start looking at prices for a next new box.  That is how I do tp, as well, and most things like that.  Tissue paper, anything expendable, not food.  Similar with food, though with two to four twelve-packs.

Now?  I am hoping to get the wood cut and stacked, the fencing cut loose, rolled, and stowed, and the area cleaned up.  Then a shower and properly dressed, and... some other things.  I best get to the wood pile.  Later.

Some more music.

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Populated my screen, they did.  Some from other things, others from... memories and thoughts.  I do enjoy when things show, things I appreciate.

Somebody, it seems, wanted the lyrics on screen, plus a visually interesting video for the song I played recently.  They did well, by my grading schedule, so I thought to share it.

The sleeping rug and mats are in.

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I couldn't do as much as hoped.  But, getting to the store, and getting the mats out, and back, was something.  A shower too.  Well, and keeping Sassy fed and her litter clean.  A few other very light things as well.

Oh, and Sassy was quite pleased with the shower and brushing of teeth.  She has been enjoying my company since, off and on, all night.  She has been avoiding me, and fairly, lately.  But she would meowl from the other room.  I... knew what it was, just couldn't do much about it.

I am feeling very hot.  The shower, being dressed warmly.  It is down to 70, here near the computer.  I think it is 68 in the rest of the downstairs.  It was 64 upstairs, in the main, when I took the mats up.  I do have those set up and stacked, but will have to reset the bedding yet before bed.

At 05:18, I am hoping to bake the chicken.  I still haven't opened it up, to see if it is good... or good enough to try.  If not, I'll take it, and any other trash I can gather, out.  As well, I have burger from my second to last grocery shopping, and some ground chicken, ready to fry... if they are still good.  And I may fry one of the blade chops.  Those are delicious, tasty as the dickens!  I will probably bake a potato, while at it.  I don't get much of those, or often.  But I still enjoy.

After cooking, and eating, I may go on to bed.  Still sore, but able to push on through to little things.  Later.

Out.

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I forgot, something arrived, something which needs something else... store bought milk.  Why?  It's easier to start with.  Kefir!  finally.  So, out I went.

While I was there, I looked over their pork roasts, blade chops, and ground burger.  Found excellent prices and quality, so picked some of those up.  Then remember butter.  Tried for salad, but the just didn't have any predone salads to my liking.  Still, five out of six?  Or such?  Not bad.

Everything is up, already.  I am washing some smaller jars, to begin kefir.  I will burn through the two gallons I got in two weeks, or so, and should have enough kefir grains for half gallon jugs, by then, and they should be ready for raw milk.  I will cancel raw milk for the next two Saturdays, which... should leave me in good shape for financials for the rest of the month, concerning milk.  Ugh.

When the jars have had time to soap out, I will wash and  rinse them again.  Then dry them and leave them to air dry... which will get rid of any bleach from the faucet.  All good.  I suppose I could heat some of the r.o. water, for rinsing.  But, even then, I would have to let them cool.  Not sure it would be any advantage, plus, it would be a waste of r.o. water.

A shower first.

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Not sure I will get to the wood pile tonight.  It is dark, and after the shower, I am tired.  Oh, and I did get the packages of cat treats stowed, and the cat food from the front room back to the stairs to the basement.  I'll get them down yet tonight.  As well, I will hit this room more, yet tonight.  Since I have plenty of light.

The shower was well needed, wanted, and enjoyed.  I may even get another shower before going to bed.  When clean, it is wonderful to stay that way.  Even Sassy has been avoiding me.  Mother renamed her correctly.  And that is fair.  I have no problem with beings who... have taste, limits, requirements, for involvement.  

Oh, and a platter of cheese, salami, and onion.  Some fresh chopped onion really... does add a nice variation.  I am out of the one cheese that can be eaten plain.  The asiago, parmesan reggiano, and gruyere all require grating, then melting into something.  Which is fine.  I bought eggs at the store AND received eggs from the new batch of chickens, from the neighbor.  I may boil a bunch of the store bought.  They are among the better store bought, but it's just not as good as home raised, truly free range produced eggs.  Even the breeds are different, and the home raised are chosen specifically for exacting traits.  I won't knock white eggs, but browns, and blues, and greens, if seen by none but the cook, are delicious to even the eye.  Not sure what colors from this lot, though looked mostly shades of brown.  Very nice.  Terracotta flavored!

Oh, but I never did take my break.  I had hoped to push through fast enough to get out and have some light.  That just wasn't possible.  Though I may use the trimmer yet this evening, if I can get to it before 21:00.  No promises, but... there is that.  Now I need my break, and will game while taking it.  I am right at a place where I am going to attempt to get a tricky trophy.  If... when... I get it, I may restart the game for a full playthrough trophy, at a higher level.  Bleh.  At least I learned the limitations, requirements, and allowances for that trophy.  The last two trophies are a bit unnerving.  Annoying.  But... so be it.

Nice little grouping.

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So far.  The litter boxes cleared and cleaned.  Actually twice.  When I went by them a second time, for other reasons, I happened to notice a few cat apples.  So... scooped and... there.  All very good.  Then, I went to take a shower, but realized I was a bit behind on my pee jugs.  So, I cleaned those out.  They are soaking in a bit of hot bleach water, with the lids on.  About every other, to every third, time, I add bleach to clear to the scrub.

Then a shower?  Well... No.  I decided to feed Sassy.  Then to put the mattresses out on the line, plus the sleeping rug I use underneath.  All out, hung.  It is still difficult, but?  If I do it in an order fashion, it is easier.  Out and up, all good.  Now I need a little break, but a shower is next on the list.  I did, too, brush my teeth, and hit it with the serious mouthwash.  It's... been a bit.  I've not been taking care of all things, teeth weren't on the list.  Today.

A fatted coffee, while I resolve to persevere?  Yes.  But, as suggested, a very good start, right off the block pretty much.

I am still hoping to get to the wood pile out there, so I can water tonight or tomorrow.  Or Wednesday.  But, soon.  I want that wood cut, stacked, that area cleared of other debris, the fencing all down and put up, and the area mowed, for the next watering.  I might be able to get the wood cut and stacked, the area cleared and cleaned, and the fences down and up tonight?  Maybe.

And, maybe, tomorrow, I will put blankets out for an airing of their own.  One thing at a time.  Oh... it's wonderful.  I can see clearly through the oven glass now.  Not that there is really anything to see.  If I need to see, I have to put my eyes on it.  Too dark, even with a bulb, and too odd, with steam and grease from whatever is cooking.  Still, clear glass is... pleasant.  It's the idea, in this case.  Well, and it is pleasant to have a really clean oven compartment, with new shiny aluminum on the grills.  Perty!  Purty?  Whatever.

A bit of gaming.  Then a shower.  A bit more gaming.  Then on to the outside.  If I have to, I will use flashlights and such.  Though, that will limit how much picking up can be done.  Some of it, the big pieces, into the wheelbarrow.  But I'll just leave that for a first hit, while the sun is still up, tomorrow.

The body still hurts, but I... am ready for the pain again.  It's more the lack of energy, than suffering from pain, that keeps me from working.  I... don't mind the pain.  Mostly.  Usually.  Later.

Awake, finally.

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I have no idea when I went to bed, save that it was well into morning light.  A slight headache, probably from gaming, and being up later.  All else is... copesthetic?  Or, so I have heard it put, so put it.  It was about a quarter after sixteen hundred when I awoke, got up.

I realized I have not turned the mattresses, a  Thursday to Saturday thing, but here it is Monday.  So, I stripped the mats, and set them on edge, put the fan on them, and will rotate them through the day, or tonight at the latest.  Unless I put them out to air.  Which... is very tempting, if I can.

Gaming is killing me, trying to get the last trophies from the last dlc content.  I'm not sure I can play well enough, currently, to do so.  You know it is bad, when you can't even play a game that should be simple, with your experience, and native skills.  At least I am keeping some sort of, if off in hours, day schedule.  I haven't, or yet, started flipping through the day, mixing night, day, nap, sleep, wakefulness, all into a life blender... feeling more like being in a plane, which lost it's wings at high altitude, hitting enough g's to pass out from time to time, waking up not knowing anything, except you don't like what is happening or what may be about to happen.  Will you be awake at the right altitude to hit eject?  Will it work, or will that kill you on function?  At least it... is some hope.  Tumbling, tumbling down.

I am hoping to... avoid that this year.  I avoided the heavier sort of that last year, and maybe the year before.  I just, eventually, went more dark as winter came.  God only knows how terrifying that is.  Squeezing every bit of conscious effort against forces so much more powerful than me.  Squeeze, breath, push, shove, all while doing absolutely nothing other than trying to stay conscious.  Thirty years of that, sometimes two or three month or longer episodes.  Assuming I didn't just go to sleep for a month or two.  Waking just enough to get food down, from time to time.  Iowa was harder, it's winters are so deep, hard, brutal.  Utah can be tough, tight, but not... like Iowa.  Even in what I considered the Florida of Iowa, Iowa City, -20 F was very common.  As was ice, sleet, snow, and dark was much more common than light, even more so than Utah.

Well... we will see.  I still need a shower.  Most of the packages have arrived.  A few more to come.  Looks like I overspent again this month.  Ugh.  But, too, I am trying to put money away, in small amounts and pay up some bills.  But it is something.  After the shower, out to the woodpile.  I'd like to do that, and use the weed whip to cut the last fence loose then roll those up and put them away.

Perhaps, if that gets completed, riding the mower around and clearing that area.  Though, I really want to pick up bark and little zingers before mowing.  I weed whipped that area, which had been enclosed by the fence so had overgrown.  But, it will still be a challenge.

If I can get to those things, and still have energy, this room next.  This room is the next thing I will hit.  Period?  That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.  I have cat food and cat treats to be put up, grain to deal with, boxes to disassemble and wrangle, and boxes of keeper stuff to remove.  Ugh.  Ugh, ugh, ugh.  We will see.  It is a new week, I have had some rest.  I will still be working on the last trophies, on my breaks.

Oh, and I would like to cook some food.  Plus, I need to check on medicine dispensers.  Am I out, or nearly?  I am hoping I have enough for one more month.  I also need to set something up with my doctor.  I have to give him a blood test, or he won't deliver meds.  Fair enough.  It's the gas to get there.  Sure, they pay.  But... not for a month or three.  I'm on nickels and dimes, so a hundred spot is brutal.  Well, it costs at least fifty to get there, maybe an hundred, somewhere in there, if I am to have any gas left in the tank.  Well, and I don't keep it on full, so I will have to fill it first, on top of else.  So... it's... a lot of money.

Now... get off my porch!  I can't sit and jab all day!  *grins* 

A thought, about women.

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I do enjoy them.  Whether a visit, an hello, or watching them on the tube, one tube or another.  I don't think of them, mostly, as objects.  Oh, well, there are times.  And, there are times when that is all they are to themselves.  Fair enough.  No, generally, even if I was interested, I think of them as sisters.

Dinner is, almost, served.

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Went looking for a little recipe.  Tuna, salmon, some other canned fish, into a patty.  Fried or baked?  I... was just going to see where the chef, cook, or hungry human, or their story really, took me.  As it ended up, tuna, mixed, and fried.  The video recipe?  Here.

Finally!

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My... troubles... aren't limited to work.  When I fail, fall, I also have trouble thinking and doing.  What do I mean?  I mean, computer games become exceedingly difficult.  Remembering... where to go, how to do it, which buttons to push.  I revert back to having to think about it, with muscle memory failure as a regular difficulty.

My ability to aim well diminishes, spotting things becomes more difficult, and other problems occur.  I have just as many mental limitations as I do physical ones.

So, getting the trophies in this game was difficult.  Or that part of that dlc of the game.  Finally, though, it has been done.  I have one more dlc section for which to obtain the trophies.  I have most of them.  But the final trophies, of course, are... the difficult ones.  Or, in one case, one which wasn't offered directly.  Without looking it up, you can't know what to do.  Though, sometimes, even if they tell you what you have to do, you can't really understand all the rules without looking them up.

One more to go.  Well, and I have found guides that make sense of things as well.  It took... five, six, playthroughs, to get the trophies for the first part?  But that was... messy.  Messier.  I have played this one once through, and got most of the trophies.  I am hoping two playthroughs will see it done.  The trickiest one requires a whole playthrough, most likely on it's own.  I could try to play them all together, just not sure about that.

Unfortunately, the game is terrible about helping one to figure out the best way to do something,  I suppose, playing an area over and over might allow improvement.  But it really isn't... you simply can't perfect the game.  There are too many variables.  So, some of it is luck.

On the other hand, that is part of why I like this game.  It isn't terribly difficult, in one sense.  But that it can't be perfected means... well... that one can't just learn every move, in a specific area, and just trounce it from then on.  It's... closer to real life, in some ways?  In my opinion, yes.  Probably contrived, but it feels natural enough that I can't sense it being contrived.  So... yes.  That I do like.

Still Sunday?  Yes, as my days and night spin, and fall hits, I am losing the ability to be sure which day, or what time, it is based on appearances or senses otherwise.  Thankfully it is still Sunday.  I should be able to get the trash and recycling out.  I think I took recycling out last week, to no avail.  It wasn't that sort of week.  Not much in it.  Maybe another bag, bringing it to a third full.  But, that isn't the point.  Good to have it go.  Trash?  Not sure there will be enough to bother pulling it to the curb though.  One small bag is about it.

The litter boxes are in excellent shape.  I redid the one she mostly uses for pea, which gets the worst the quickest.  The others stay in excellent shape for days.  Sometimes she drinks more, sometimes not.  Strangely she has been drinking more.  She drinks more in the cool than in the summer?  Strange, but true.  Though, as I have cut back on her food, maybe she is eating slightly more dry food, so drinking more?  Never can be exactly sure why, though that would be my bet.

Anyway...  I'll try to get meat, or meats, cooking tonight.  Get the trash and recycling out at least to the bins.  Get a shower in.  And keep up on r.o. water.  I've been doing okay with that, actually.  Doing okay with flatline things, like eating, feeding Sassy, her litter boxes, and water jugs.  Just... not much else, lately.

Though, this year, the hoses are mostly already up.  Just waiting for the last watering, perhaps later this week?  Then those will go up.  I didn't get to raking, now sure I will.  But would like to finish the wood pile, outdoors.  And remove the fences, then mow back there.  Maybe rake, or the worst parts.  Well, and cutting down shrubs, small trees, and sprigs from the trees.  Maybe.  I'll... sure push toward those things.  It would be good to get the fall doings done rightly and quickly.  It'll have to be quickly, or not at all.  Winter is coming.

Later.

Lost in sleep, again.

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Can't be sure when I did go to bed.  Waking around 16:20.  It isn't, exactly, just gaming.  But that is a part of it.  As I attempt to finish the trophies in the dlc additions to the game, and as fall hits, plus as I try to work and do what I can, the world sort of gets fuzzy.  I sleep when I can, and do when I can.

Haven't heard from anyone in a few weeks.  I won't disturb them.  The last time I called either of them, my call wasn't well received.  When... they want to talk, they will.  I don't go where I am not welcome.  So very tired, can't push through that front.  Won't.  I don't mind, it's the way the world is at times.  And, when your people are worldly, it's the way it goes.

Oh, I have cut protein intake to just foods and maybe a scoop of the powder a day, sometimes twice a day.  Whatever I am doing, it finally seems correct.  My fingernails are... terribly strong.  I used to be able to chip them when undoing a spring loaded hook and eye, on the back door.  Now, wrestling with wood, the chainsaw, other tools, and it takes a day of work to chip a few.  They cut just as easily, when trimming.  Though the file takes a lot more work.

Odd.  I had been taking three or more a day, for a while, and that wasn't an improvement.  There must be a middling dose that works better.  One of my gurus had suggested much higher doses of protein.  But, for me anyway, that doesn't work.  I have been on the one to two scoops a day, on the lower range of that, for a few months.  I noticed the strength of the nails a few weeks ago.  It really is reasonable stuff to take.

Oh, and Sassy is preferring to sleep by the back door, back in the washroom.  She has been laying there for... since it cooled into the 70s outside.  I don't know if there is a boy cat that comes by, and they spoon through the door.  Or if she just likes the temp back there, or something else.  She isn't coming around much, though... I... probably need a shower.  That might be part of it.  Cats do their own things, though.  I guess.

Today?  Something to eat.  I had eggs and the last of the chops yesterday.  There were a lot of them, but they were so thin.  These weren't my favored chops in the world, but worked well enough.  Those fried eggs, and some hashed browns with freshly diced onions and some cheese.  I made too much.  Used to be my usual.  Wasn't terribly hungry though.

I need to see what else in there, what is still good, and manage that.  I've not been cooking as I should, or eating rightly.  Too tired.  But, the oven and stove are clean, meat is thawed, hopefully still good.  I should get back to it.  Even if I make a bigger batch, then just spread it out over the week.

It's 73 in here, the warmest place in the house.  Will be like that for a week to a month more, at most.  Will begin getting cool to cold soon.  Some say something is coming, down this way.  Not sure the first real cold snap will hit here, or is more going into the Midwest.  But, either in this first, or a second front of some sort, we will be hit.  I am enjoying this weather.  For me, this is nearly in the perfect range.

On to a shower?  After I wake.  Then some work in this front room.  Maybe, if I get this room sorted well enough for a bit, on to cooking, and maybe some work in the bathroom?  Light work.  It is Sunday.  God knows I have to work when I can.  I'm drowning in things needed done, and can't work on most given days.  He has given me a life of mostly Sundays, I have to take, or create, a weekday when I can.  Oh, if you make it to church, say a prayer for me.  Say hello.  If you have already been, putting a short prayer in, with my name on it, would be welcome.  I pray for you, directly or indirectly, every day.  So... I don't mind asking for it, once or twice a month.  I don't... expect it, but I do ask.  Good day.