.
.
I woke a little earlier and went swimming a bit earlier as well. I was nervous, after winning two personal golds this week the water challenged me to try to keep those gold medals. It has been on my mind since Wednesday. Could I do what I did, perhaps adding more? I tried to not think about it on my way to the pool, thinking instead of upcoming classes, pretty girls, nothing, and everything, but it kept creeping in. Doubts and fear seem to lurk around every corner and challenge my right to have fun, work hard, and work consistently. Still, I went, changed, grabbed my kick-board, and jumped in.
I started out knowing I would be a little sore during the first few laps. I was not wrong. I kept waiting for the numbness to offer comfort, but today that did not happen until the 10th lap. The pain was less but more consistent. Then again, I was trying to shave time off the ½ mile portion. Perhaps the extra exertion, if there was any, was the culprit. I finished my ½ mile in 40 minutes, I shaved at least 10 minutes off my last ½ mile! My goal has been to do twice as many kick-board laps as crawls, in order to work on my kick and get my legs the largest share of the workout until I can be more certain that they will indeed be doing the work they are supposed to do and doing the work I want them to do. After that, I did get ¼ mile of crawls in. However, these were piece-meal. The most I could get out of myself was one 2 lap set. The rest were single laps. I was pleased that my legs were still working and well. I tried to sprint the last lap, and did for ¾ of it, then I started to cramp. I finished my swim, with an odd swim limp, yet it was still a very good lap. I might say it was my fastest, and by far, to date. Those last 9 laps, however, took me over the hour I am hoping to work within.
Woot! I am up swimming to 3/4 of a mile in (almost) an hour after only my first month of swimming, give or take! By the way, does anyone happen to have a walker, maybe a wheelchair, I could borrow?
My goal, at this point, is to shave that exact exercise down to 1 hour. I will not add laps until I get that well below 1 hour. For the next two weeks, almost certainly, my goal is to increase the speed. If I get to the point where I can do this cycle in 45 minutes, I will add laps. First I will add to the kick-board and consecutive swim to try and fill the exercise up to an hour. Then I will begin cutting that time until I can get my crawls to a 1:2 crawl to kickboard lap, then get that all back down to under an hour again. I am not sure how long I will feel the need for the kick-board leg work, and I may never change it. But should I begin to feel confident that my legs will do most of the work, I may just go to straight crawls. I do not see that happening for at least another month. Who knows, I am just making this up as I go along, dontchya know.
I have to pick up my books today. They are in. I also need to get supplies. I would like to stop by the Church while I am downtown, I have some business I would like to manage. I received a reply from my doctor, after sending him my dietary schedule for the last few days. His prescription seems reasonable, though I think his calorie burn chart is bunk. It is the lowest I have seen, and I picked middling to low calorie burn charts out there (from groups like the American Lung Association, FDA (or some government entity), and some others). I am not sure how I will be able to comply, however, as I have said, cooking, shopping, and cleaning up afterward is too much on top of working out, let alone working out AND going to school. Fast food will be the only way, but I am not sure I can afford that. At least he was not smarmy. I am quite put out with him, so it would not take much for me to drop him. I grade harshly but fairly, imho.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The New Cold War.
.
.
No, not with the usual suspects. Russia is thrashing, China is clamoring, and the new kid on the block Venezuela is restful and spiteful. But, that is neither new nor anything more than something to be watched and, mostly, ignored. We have no interests which are threatened enough to act, and we have too few resources with which to react. Beyond, reactions are not the best strategies, action and forethought will win those wars before they become hot. It was, and remains, my theory that we cut the dollar for a short run loss and a long run win, for example. We are doing other things which manage threats, fiscal, military, social, and other types. Much of it is incremental, nearly invisible, and perhaps even blamed on other causes. If some of those things hurt in the short run, in the long run, they are (and I think will) prove to be quite successful.
The New Cold War is not being faced externally, but internally. The mantras of communism and socialism are here. The ultra rich, the ultra poor, the uneducated, and the poorly educated (or those educated too specifically and blindly (or blindingly?)) support the left. Families, Christians, reasoned middle class, and upper- to upper-middle-class working forces support conservativism, as much as it exists today. The majority, I should think, are leaning conservative. There are two major problems with this war, and the outlook does look grim.
The difference between the two warring parties is those on the left have nothing to lose. Kennedy “knows” he can keep his wealth. He does not care how many tax laws are passed. Leroy (no whitey education, thank you) Floyd knows he can get away with ignoring education (too hard), avoiding work (too hard), or even acting civil (hey, prison is safer than the streets filled with people like him, plus food and a gym). Neither has a thing to loose, as they see it. They have no principles, they merely want what others have, so long as they do not have to sacrifice anything to obtain it. As a fact, without religion or any real moral compass, what limits their actions is… exactly nothing. If they were messing with superman, that would be one thing, but when they destroy or kill conservatives (or naysayers within their party), the lost are simply and truly lost.
Those who oppose them have only principles and knowledge on their side. An understanding of history, of economics, of Constitutional and Bill of Rights meaning and purpose is great, but it is a thing not easily shared, especially to people who eschew education or think they have earned their way beyond it. They, as groups and individuals, are not as connected, nor interested in becoming interdependent (think conservative Catholics and Protestants). Much of their connectivity is being eroded via laws favoring other than marriage in the form of taxes to social pressure, social disfavor regarding having children, Christian persecution, and even attacks on actual free speech.
Leadership is lacking in conservative circles. Our “dear leaders” have offered McCain. This is like a “nurse” offering candy to diabetic children. Only the stupid one’s will partake. He is neither a conservative nor a capitalist. The leadership which vetted him is worse, rotten to the core, and they should be thrown out, but will not be. No one, with true conservative credentials, has any grip on any of the levers of power. We, like Britain, have a choice between fast or slow socialism.
What is to be done? I can only speak for myself. On principals, I can vote for neither party. I will vote, but I will write in a name. As for the rest, I know which senators and congressmen I will vote for. Judges, councilman, etc? I will vote against the standing official. Most judges need to be recycled, then composted, then taken to a toxic waste dump center. Councilman become thugs if they stand more than two terms. Actually, all politicians do. When was the last time a politician worked two terms then went back “home” to work, real work, not lawyering or doctoring or teaching something inane to vacuous minds at a brand name school of idiocy? Ah, but there is prayer, their is hope (near or far), and their is my certainty that, disregarding the government, I have a King, a home, and a way which is and will be. So, for the most part, I just am.
Actually, we lost the Cold War. The bureaucracy lives, thrives, and grows. Man becomes the beast of burden and women become manlings. Perhaps there will be another great hopeful, Christian, and good nation in a few thousand years. This one is about to be turned to the dark side, regardless of which becomes the next president. Unless congress and the senate goes conservative. Nah, most are RHINOs, again, it does not matter.
.
No, not with the usual suspects. Russia is thrashing, China is clamoring, and the new kid on the block Venezuela is restful and spiteful. But, that is neither new nor anything more than something to be watched and, mostly, ignored. We have no interests which are threatened enough to act, and we have too few resources with which to react. Beyond, reactions are not the best strategies, action and forethought will win those wars before they become hot. It was, and remains, my theory that we cut the dollar for a short run loss and a long run win, for example. We are doing other things which manage threats, fiscal, military, social, and other types. Much of it is incremental, nearly invisible, and perhaps even blamed on other causes. If some of those things hurt in the short run, in the long run, they are (and I think will) prove to be quite successful.
The New Cold War is not being faced externally, but internally. The mantras of communism and socialism are here. The ultra rich, the ultra poor, the uneducated, and the poorly educated (or those educated too specifically and blindly (or blindingly?)) support the left. Families, Christians, reasoned middle class, and upper- to upper-middle-class working forces support conservativism, as much as it exists today. The majority, I should think, are leaning conservative. There are two major problems with this war, and the outlook does look grim.
The difference between the two warring parties is those on the left have nothing to lose. Kennedy “knows” he can keep his wealth. He does not care how many tax laws are passed. Leroy (no whitey education, thank you) Floyd knows he can get away with ignoring education (too hard), avoiding work (too hard), or even acting civil (hey, prison is safer than the streets filled with people like him, plus food and a gym). Neither has a thing to loose, as they see it. They have no principles, they merely want what others have, so long as they do not have to sacrifice anything to obtain it. As a fact, without religion or any real moral compass, what limits their actions is… exactly nothing. If they were messing with superman, that would be one thing, but when they destroy or kill conservatives (or naysayers within their party), the lost are simply and truly lost.
Those who oppose them have only principles and knowledge on their side. An understanding of history, of economics, of Constitutional and Bill of Rights meaning and purpose is great, but it is a thing not easily shared, especially to people who eschew education or think they have earned their way beyond it. They, as groups and individuals, are not as connected, nor interested in becoming interdependent (think conservative Catholics and Protestants). Much of their connectivity is being eroded via laws favoring other than marriage in the form of taxes to social pressure, social disfavor regarding having children, Christian persecution, and even attacks on actual free speech.
Leadership is lacking in conservative circles. Our “dear leaders” have offered McCain. This is like a “nurse” offering candy to diabetic children. Only the stupid one’s will partake. He is neither a conservative nor a capitalist. The leadership which vetted him is worse, rotten to the core, and they should be thrown out, but will not be. No one, with true conservative credentials, has any grip on any of the levers of power. We, like Britain, have a choice between fast or slow socialism.
What is to be done? I can only speak for myself. On principals, I can vote for neither party. I will vote, but I will write in a name. As for the rest, I know which senators and congressmen I will vote for. Judges, councilman, etc? I will vote against the standing official. Most judges need to be recycled, then composted, then taken to a toxic waste dump center. Councilman become thugs if they stand more than two terms. Actually, all politicians do. When was the last time a politician worked two terms then went back “home” to work, real work, not lawyering or doctoring or teaching something inane to vacuous minds at a brand name school of idiocy? Ah, but there is prayer, their is hope (near or far), and their is my certainty that, disregarding the government, I have a King, a home, and a way which is and will be. So, for the most part, I just am.
Actually, we lost the Cold War. The bureaucracy lives, thrives, and grows. Man becomes the beast of burden and women become manlings. Perhaps there will be another great hopeful, Christian, and good nation in a few thousand years. This one is about to be turned to the dark side, regardless of which becomes the next president. Unless congress and the senate goes conservative. Nah, most are RHINOs, again, it does not matter.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
A good start.
.
.
I was up and at it early this morning. I did not hear the first alarm, that I can remember. But the second alarm, at 5:30, did wake me. A couple of snoozes and a slow start did make me wonder if I would get to the pool today or not. After waking a bit, I did finally get there, if an hour later than is my goal. After that good swim Monday, I was not sure how I would do today. I got in and gave it what I had.
Up to this point, prior to today, I had completed 20 laps, of various styles, 3 laps at a time at most. I had only completed 3 laps consecutively once, actually. Most of those laps were 1 at a time. Something happened today, the resistance seemed to dissipate. I started with the paddle board, resting my hands on the thing while I used my legs to kick. My kicks have improved, as has my breathing technique. My legs hurt a bit after the first lap, but I pushed on to see if that would subside. After three laps, the pain was still there. I decided to continue. I made it to 10 laps and considered a break. The problem was, I was not tired and my legs had numbed a bit. So, I continued.
As I was swimming, trying to also make sure I did not lose count of my laps, I started trying to figure out how far I had gone and how much such and so many laps would be. It is odd to do math while swimming, but I was doing just that. I kept thinking 10 times 25 yards times 2 (1 lap is 2 25 yard lengths). So, 50 times 10 equals 500. I just swam 500 yards, and I was still going! Then I was trying to figure out what a half of a mile was. I kept having odd results, until I realized (it was early mind you) that there are 3 feet in a yard, not two! So, 5280 divided by 2 might well be 2640, that has nothing to do with how many yards, and 1320 yards is not a half mile, 1760 yards is a mile! So from that, 1760 divided by 50 equals 35.5 laps. Divide 35.5 by 2 and you get 17.6 laps, which is 880 yards and 1/2 mile. The math can get a little messy in the pool, but I finally did get that 18 laps would satisfy my newfound goal. I completed that swim, with the paddle board, and did an extra lap in case I made a mistake in counting (which I think I did, I think I missed counting a lap while doing the math, so I might have done 20 laps).
That took a great deal of time, however. I had hoped to do crawls, but I was not sure, so when I finished the half mile swim, I asked a nearby lifeguard if I could stay after 8:00. He said no. So, instead of taking a break and losing what little time I had left, I did 4 more laps using the crawl, and a continuous 4 laps (200 yards). I was pretty much out of time at that point. So I headed to the locker room.
I am not sure what happened. The ability just opened, I pushed past a little initial resistance, and… swam a half mile using only my legs. I do not know if I will be able to do that Friday, I only know I was pleased to do it today. I am getting better. I am stronger. I hope the lifting goes better today than it did Monday though. We will see.
.
I was up and at it early this morning. I did not hear the first alarm, that I can remember. But the second alarm, at 5:30, did wake me. A couple of snoozes and a slow start did make me wonder if I would get to the pool today or not. After waking a bit, I did finally get there, if an hour later than is my goal. After that good swim Monday, I was not sure how I would do today. I got in and gave it what I had.
Up to this point, prior to today, I had completed 20 laps, of various styles, 3 laps at a time at most. I had only completed 3 laps consecutively once, actually. Most of those laps were 1 at a time. Something happened today, the resistance seemed to dissipate. I started with the paddle board, resting my hands on the thing while I used my legs to kick. My kicks have improved, as has my breathing technique. My legs hurt a bit after the first lap, but I pushed on to see if that would subside. After three laps, the pain was still there. I decided to continue. I made it to 10 laps and considered a break. The problem was, I was not tired and my legs had numbed a bit. So, I continued.
As I was swimming, trying to also make sure I did not lose count of my laps, I started trying to figure out how far I had gone and how much such and so many laps would be. It is odd to do math while swimming, but I was doing just that. I kept thinking 10 times 25 yards times 2 (1 lap is 2 25 yard lengths). So, 50 times 10 equals 500. I just swam 500 yards, and I was still going! Then I was trying to figure out what a half of a mile was. I kept having odd results, until I realized (it was early mind you) that there are 3 feet in a yard, not two! So, 5280 divided by 2 might well be 2640, that has nothing to do with how many yards, and 1320 yards is not a half mile, 1760 yards is a mile! So from that, 1760 divided by 50 equals 35.5 laps. Divide 35.5 by 2 and you get 17.6 laps, which is 880 yards and 1/2 mile. The math can get a little messy in the pool, but I finally did get that 18 laps would satisfy my newfound goal. I completed that swim, with the paddle board, and did an extra lap in case I made a mistake in counting (which I think I did, I think I missed counting a lap while doing the math, so I might have done 20 laps).
That took a great deal of time, however. I had hoped to do crawls, but I was not sure, so when I finished the half mile swim, I asked a nearby lifeguard if I could stay after 8:00. He said no. So, instead of taking a break and losing what little time I had left, I did 4 more laps using the crawl, and a continuous 4 laps (200 yards). I was pretty much out of time at that point. So I headed to the locker room.
I am not sure what happened. The ability just opened, I pushed past a little initial resistance, and… swam a half mile using only my legs. I do not know if I will be able to do that Friday, I only know I was pleased to do it today. I am getting better. I am stronger. I hope the lifting goes better today than it did Monday though. We will see.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A middling day.
.
.
I awoke early, again, this morning. I went with my friend to the laundromat. We both had items which require a front loading washing machine (according to the manufacturers, whatever). So, we decided to go together and play backgammon in between loads. I usually win at the game and today was no exception. We had a fine time, or as fine a time as two people may have in a laundromat. Both of us were a bit tired still, so we did grumble and grump a bit. Maybe that was just me, maybe not.
Afterwards, we planned to have lunch. I received a call indicating that my home health assistant would be arriving to do some cleaning so I had to decline the offer. The assistant failed to arrive, as is becoming typical. My nurse did arrive though, as scheduled, but an hour later. We could have had our lunch. A rain check, it was agreed, for a rainy day. I usually enjoy visiting with my nurse, and today was no exception. She likes to hear my stories, silly as they sometimes are. So, this time I told her of my great public works, that being the moving of two unprepared people. And I discussed my new, perhaps very temporary, doctor.
My blood pressure was in the 140/90 range, my temperature was up to over 98 for the first time since that has been being recorded (for about 2 years, off and on), and I have lost about 3 pounds according to her scale. I cannot recall what my pulse was, but it was reasonable as I recall. Oh, she also offered me three home-grown tomatoes! She planted twelve tomato plants in order to can them this year, but her yield is too low. So, instead of trying to eat what is there, she is giving them away. It was a pleasant gift.
The rest of the day has been merely tinkering and goofing. I have stayed up the day and I should rest well tonight. I have swimming in the morning, trash to take out, a few tasks I would like to tend to regarding minor business and personal affairs, and then I have weight lifting in the afternoon. I need to get to studying again, as well. I am nervous about classes and I really want to excel. I am not as worried about the grade as I am about the understanding. I think the two will likely shadow each other, to some extent, but an A is not enough. I have spoken with enough graduate students to know that merely going through the motions, even at an A level, is not enough for graduate school. A fundamental, and to some degree a theoretical, understanding of much of this material is needed to make it in upper level work. Though I may never make it to graduate school, or even perhaps to an undergraduate degree, my goal remains. Further, I am behind. I am behind students merely here to do undergraduate work. So, yes, work, study, pre-study, and consistency are my only hopes for my goal.
I am extremely tired, if happily so. I am pushing my days back into shape, if I am, as always, nervous about how long and well I can maintain the thing. It was a beautiful, hot, Iowa day. I think tonight will be pleasant, if pleasantly unremembered. Goodnight.
.
I awoke early, again, this morning. I went with my friend to the laundromat. We both had items which require a front loading washing machine (according to the manufacturers, whatever). So, we decided to go together and play backgammon in between loads. I usually win at the game and today was no exception. We had a fine time, or as fine a time as two people may have in a laundromat. Both of us were a bit tired still, so we did grumble and grump a bit. Maybe that was just me, maybe not.
Afterwards, we planned to have lunch. I received a call indicating that my home health assistant would be arriving to do some cleaning so I had to decline the offer. The assistant failed to arrive, as is becoming typical. My nurse did arrive though, as scheduled, but an hour later. We could have had our lunch. A rain check, it was agreed, for a rainy day. I usually enjoy visiting with my nurse, and today was no exception. She likes to hear my stories, silly as they sometimes are. So, this time I told her of my great public works, that being the moving of two unprepared people. And I discussed my new, perhaps very temporary, doctor.
My blood pressure was in the 140/90 range, my temperature was up to over 98 for the first time since that has been being recorded (for about 2 years, off and on), and I have lost about 3 pounds according to her scale. I cannot recall what my pulse was, but it was reasonable as I recall. Oh, she also offered me three home-grown tomatoes! She planted twelve tomato plants in order to can them this year, but her yield is too low. So, instead of trying to eat what is there, she is giving them away. It was a pleasant gift.
The rest of the day has been merely tinkering and goofing. I have stayed up the day and I should rest well tonight. I have swimming in the morning, trash to take out, a few tasks I would like to tend to regarding minor business and personal affairs, and then I have weight lifting in the afternoon. I need to get to studying again, as well. I am nervous about classes and I really want to excel. I am not as worried about the grade as I am about the understanding. I think the two will likely shadow each other, to some extent, but an A is not enough. I have spoken with enough graduate students to know that merely going through the motions, even at an A level, is not enough for graduate school. A fundamental, and to some degree a theoretical, understanding of much of this material is needed to make it in upper level work. Though I may never make it to graduate school, or even perhaps to an undergraduate degree, my goal remains. Further, I am behind. I am behind students merely here to do undergraduate work. So, yes, work, study, pre-study, and consistency are my only hopes for my goal.
I am extremely tired, if happily so. I am pushing my days back into shape, if I am, as always, nervous about how long and well I can maintain the thing. It was a beautiful, hot, Iowa day. I think tonight will be pleasant, if pleasantly unremembered. Goodnight.
So far so good.
.
.
I completed my swimming and worked out. I went swimming at around 6:00. I then returned home, showered, then visited my barber friend, though I did not end up getting the trim I had planned. I might get to that Wednesday. On top of my plans, my lady friend dropped in to do her laundry. She ended up doing my dishes (helping, nah, she did most of it). She also insisted I take out the trash, which, again, she “helped” me to do. Then I had an afternoon appointment with my new doctor. She did keep me from napping, however, and I was off to my appointment before she left. After my appointment, I returned home, napped (many hours, but), then woke up. I really had to push to get the weight lifting done, I was still very tired. And, I suppose, that old fear kept trying to sneak in and spoil the thing. Not this time, if I did work out quite late/early.
I am very nervous about my new doctor. I think he thinks he is going to play shrink. I indicated that I consider him a transitional doctor, the doctor who will take me from med/psych to a purely medical relationship. I think he has other plans. He is also very dubious about my medicines. He will only keep it as is because he knows my previous doctor and trusts him. He indicated he had not read my file, yet spewed a bunch of crap as if he had. He is not interested in connecting me with a dietician, thinking he will take over that matter himself, personally. On this last, I will give him a chance, but I am doubtful. His attitude and beliefs seem to be in conflict with my interests and health, so far as I can see things. Needs be, I will dump him, and the meds, and just go it alone, again. I never said I was a negotiator. I will give him his 15 minutes, but like I said, I would rather dump a drug pusher or psychopathogen (bad word for pseudo-psychologist) than accept that crap, again, any of it.
The swim went very well. I did more than I ever have, to date, and by far. It is not that I do not get tight, nearly to the point of cramping. It is not as if I do not get tired while swimming. But what is different is I have learned a few ways to allay the cramps and I can now become nearly numb to the exhaustion. I have also been working heavily on my kick, and I have started working on my breathing. Both have greatly increased my stroke in the crawl. I actually look like a competent swimmer (given all), and can stroke a decent set of laps. Maybe not Olympic, but for a 300 pound lost whale… not bad.
The weight lifting was another matter. Perhaps because of the long day, maybe because I was just not able to wake back up well enough after my nap, and then again, maybe it was just because I have not actually formally lifted even if I have moved mass in the moves that my muscles just sort of forgot what to do and how to do it. Fine, I will just do what I can and how I can. I did go back to a previous weight set. I will be using that for two weeks before cycling up (rather than the one week I had been doing). It was a tough lift tonight, but I did get it done.
I have a busy day tomorrow. I have three appointments, a social call, and a few other things I would like to do myself (including physics and ‘statistics and probability’ study). I guess I should say that is today! Drats. Still, I will do what I can, as I may, to the best of my ability. I will do that one day at a time, in sequence, until those days are gone. Then I will ask, when give my pie in the sky, if Saint Peter could add a side of ice cream (if he would not mind). :p
.
I completed my swimming and worked out. I went swimming at around 6:00. I then returned home, showered, then visited my barber friend, though I did not end up getting the trim I had planned. I might get to that Wednesday. On top of my plans, my lady friend dropped in to do her laundry. She ended up doing my dishes (helping, nah, she did most of it). She also insisted I take out the trash, which, again, she “helped” me to do. Then I had an afternoon appointment with my new doctor. She did keep me from napping, however, and I was off to my appointment before she left. After my appointment, I returned home, napped (many hours, but), then woke up. I really had to push to get the weight lifting done, I was still very tired. And, I suppose, that old fear kept trying to sneak in and spoil the thing. Not this time, if I did work out quite late/early.
I am very nervous about my new doctor. I think he thinks he is going to play shrink. I indicated that I consider him a transitional doctor, the doctor who will take me from med/psych to a purely medical relationship. I think he has other plans. He is also very dubious about my medicines. He will only keep it as is because he knows my previous doctor and trusts him. He indicated he had not read my file, yet spewed a bunch of crap as if he had. He is not interested in connecting me with a dietician, thinking he will take over that matter himself, personally. On this last, I will give him a chance, but I am doubtful. His attitude and beliefs seem to be in conflict with my interests and health, so far as I can see things. Needs be, I will dump him, and the meds, and just go it alone, again. I never said I was a negotiator. I will give him his 15 minutes, but like I said, I would rather dump a drug pusher or psychopathogen (bad word for pseudo-psychologist) than accept that crap, again, any of it.
The swim went very well. I did more than I ever have, to date, and by far. It is not that I do not get tight, nearly to the point of cramping. It is not as if I do not get tired while swimming. But what is different is I have learned a few ways to allay the cramps and I can now become nearly numb to the exhaustion. I have also been working heavily on my kick, and I have started working on my breathing. Both have greatly increased my stroke in the crawl. I actually look like a competent swimmer (given all), and can stroke a decent set of laps. Maybe not Olympic, but for a 300 pound lost whale… not bad.
The weight lifting was another matter. Perhaps because of the long day, maybe because I was just not able to wake back up well enough after my nap, and then again, maybe it was just because I have not actually formally lifted even if I have moved mass in the moves that my muscles just sort of forgot what to do and how to do it. Fine, I will just do what I can and how I can. I did go back to a previous weight set. I will be using that for two weeks before cycling up (rather than the one week I had been doing). It was a tough lift tonight, but I did get it done.
I have a busy day tomorrow. I have three appointments, a social call, and a few other things I would like to do myself (including physics and ‘statistics and probability’ study). I guess I should say that is today! Drats. Still, I will do what I can, as I may, to the best of my ability. I will do that one day at a time, in sequence, until those days are gone. Then I will ask, when give my pie in the sky, if Saint Peter could add a side of ice cream (if he would not mind). :p
Monday, August 18, 2008
Woot!
.
.
I am awake! It is 5:45 (but my watch is fast, it is actually 5:35). I have been awake since 5:00 (again with that time thing). I wanted to start this week off right. Last week was so dragass I could not believe it. It was depressing and hurtful even. And, resting only made me tired! I could not get going, I could not even enjoy being inactive. So, last night, I put all my effort into getting up today. I did give away last week, perhaps to my old self? It was not a loss, it was not a retreat (if it felt like that), it was a week off that I thought I needed. We will see. But not this week, this week is mine and must be mine. I have too many things going on and working out is back on the menu. So are social activities, appointments, some business, and a few extras!
As always, when starting things back up again, there is always that fear of failure (and success). There are the nagging doubts. The uncertainty about being able to do what I have planned in the short run, and in the long run. There is always a nagging uncertainty about what I should actually be doing, as well. How much can I do? I have a whole mind full of questions, doubts, concerns, and complications. I decided to set that aside, and again, today, begin the rest of my life. I am curious if a week off has hurt me a great deal. I will see with the swim, and then when I lift weights tonight I will have a full picture. Either way, I begin, again, wherever I am. That is as it has always been. Yes, I am excited!
I have a doctors appointment today, though I am not sure what time it is. I will have to call when I get back. If it is later this morning, I may stop by my Barber’s shop, I have been negligent. I will be wearing my weights to the recreation center, the vest weights, 75 pounds of them anyway. I figure that will give me a short and sweet preview of the item. I have become somewhat comfortable with it here around the house. I must admit, it is a pretty serious load. I may wait to add the last 25 pounds for some time. I am very serious about getting up early each day this week, even my off days. I would like to start walking on my off days, with the weights and maybe with a friend. I also have an appointment with the VA voc. rehab. this coming Thursday. He sounded pleasant, this time. We will see. Either way, it is pretty much a done deal, school that is. Now, however, to see if I can make it.
Off weeks are full of boogeymen. I am one, but that does not help. I think I have to stay busy, and at it, or I fall. That frightens me, though, as I am not sure how long I can tread water. And I think treading water is all life is. *huff, huff, huff…* *Go!!! Go!!! Go!!!*
.
I am awake! It is 5:45 (but my watch is fast, it is actually 5:35). I have been awake since 5:00 (again with that time thing). I wanted to start this week off right. Last week was so dragass I could not believe it. It was depressing and hurtful even. And, resting only made me tired! I could not get going, I could not even enjoy being inactive. So, last night, I put all my effort into getting up today. I did give away last week, perhaps to my old self? It was not a loss, it was not a retreat (if it felt like that), it was a week off that I thought I needed. We will see. But not this week, this week is mine and must be mine. I have too many things going on and working out is back on the menu. So are social activities, appointments, some business, and a few extras!
As always, when starting things back up again, there is always that fear of failure (and success). There are the nagging doubts. The uncertainty about being able to do what I have planned in the short run, and in the long run. There is always a nagging uncertainty about what I should actually be doing, as well. How much can I do? I have a whole mind full of questions, doubts, concerns, and complications. I decided to set that aside, and again, today, begin the rest of my life. I am curious if a week off has hurt me a great deal. I will see with the swim, and then when I lift weights tonight I will have a full picture. Either way, I begin, again, wherever I am. That is as it has always been. Yes, I am excited!
I have a doctors appointment today, though I am not sure what time it is. I will have to call when I get back. If it is later this morning, I may stop by my Barber’s shop, I have been negligent. I will be wearing my weights to the recreation center, the vest weights, 75 pounds of them anyway. I figure that will give me a short and sweet preview of the item. I have become somewhat comfortable with it here around the house. I must admit, it is a pretty serious load. I may wait to add the last 25 pounds for some time. I am very serious about getting up early each day this week, even my off days. I would like to start walking on my off days, with the weights and maybe with a friend. I also have an appointment with the VA voc. rehab. this coming Thursday. He sounded pleasant, this time. We will see. Either way, it is pretty much a done deal, school that is. Now, however, to see if I can make it.
Off weeks are full of boogeymen. I am one, but that does not help. I think I have to stay busy, and at it, or I fall. That frightens me, though, as I am not sure how long I can tread water. And I think treading water is all life is. *huff, huff, huff…* *Go!!! Go!!! Go!!!*
Sunday, August 17, 2008
While I was at it... too funny.
What Your Feet Say About You: |
 You are more expressive than most people. You let everyone know how you're feeling - the good, the bad, and the ugly. You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired. You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it. You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner. You are not afraid of anything. You are brave and courageous, even when most people would be terrified. You are very practical and down to earth. You're more concerned with action than thoughts. You are very spoiled. You don't work unless you have to, and you love to be waited on. You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence. |
What Your Hands Say About You |
 You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills. Bold and daring, you're not afraid to change your life if you think it needs an overhaul. Brainy and intelligent, you are intellectual to the point of being incomprehensible. Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things. |
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