Such things they say.

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It is 72, here in the front room.  With the computer on and me here.  Strange.  As mentioned, it is 66 out in the main of the house, the northern sections.  Well, last I looked.  Very strange.

Strange music, and more, appeared.  Some of it causes laughter, some of it... other things.  Interesting.  Yes, interesting.  Some of it, but the gists.

No, nothing extra.

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I have been hanging on.  Barely.  It is 14:34, and bedtime.  I have pushed as far, hard, and well as I may.  No extra meal, no more gaming, very little of anything.  All good.  I don't hurt, I am just so very tired.  I have been since... eight or nine this morning.  A good haul, if you look at it right.

You know you are tired when your mind is numb.  When writing is a conscious effort, in the mind as well as of flesh.  I have to think it all through, it isn't just happening, as it mostly does.  A very strange phenomena.  Imagine if everything you went to ponder, in your mind, you had to work out.  There is no flow.  The imagination isn't working.  So, if you want to imagine, closing a door, it is more like reading about it.  The mind just doesn't create pictures, moving or otherwise.  That is how it is.

Of course, being that tired is... not a bad thing.  I suspect rest will be... indulgent, deep, quiet.  Not that I am dying, but it will be a bit like death.  Ah, but you probably don't know what that means.  You have never had it so quiet, so dark, that nothing touches you?  At least it isn't cold, that is the difference.  I am sleeping well, comfortably, lately.  If deeply, darkly.

Something is off, but that is okay.  Something has been off for the last thirty... it started in '87... so... thirty five years now, is it?  Wow.  I was 21, when that happened.  That's a lot of time in a shadow, of sorts.  Anyway, I've had worse.

Not perfect.

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Not all that much.  Some... things.

I did put away that first load of dishes, finished the last load save a few cookie sheets and cutting boards.  There wasn't enough room to put those out.  Then, as those dried, I put them away.  Finally getting a shower in.  I had emptied the tub, and moved it so I could shower.  Then, just now, refilled that enough to let them have a warming final rinse.  I'll get to them in an hour.

I have closed up down here, and ordered two 20" fans.  As a replacement, plus.  Actually, I closed up the upstairs while I was at it.  It is already to 78, inside, 87 outside last I looked.  Upstairs was 75 and 77, before I closed up... as I was closing up and turning the ac on.

Bits and pieces, here and there, else.  Really, not bad.  Getting in the shower was great, this time washing hair.  It's going to get hot out there today.  87, before noon?  Right at eleven, I think.  It's one of those days, when you step out into it, you feel like you are being burned.  Or about to be.  Oh, right, the swamp cooler has fan mode.  I just turned that on.  It doesn't cool it off, but it sure feels cooler, especially right after a shower.

I keep looking over bikes.  There is a vast array of bikes to choose from.  I have a fairly wide group to choose from, even as a beginner.  As long as the seat is high enough, and the pegs and else more readily accessible for my height... or negotiable somehow, I'm golden.  I am looking at bikes from the $5k range on up to the $18k range.  New.  I won't be buying new.  And, at the edges of those, I'd have to find a good deal... a good deal I trust.  An $18k bike, on sale for $10k, a year old, with only 7k miles?  I'd look, but closely.  Probably pass unless there was a damned good reason, and it was cosmetic, obvious, and not an issue regarding performance, or even warranty.  Might be a lemon, might be a salvage that hasn't been rightly tagged, who knows.  And they will gladly take your money and leave you in the larch.

I'm thinking a bit more roast and the last of the new potatoes.  Then finishing up the dishes to be dried.  Finally adding another load of dishes, or two, if both will be quite small, in to soak.  I want to keep them separated, because one will be greasy... frying pans.  The others just need a cleaning, new items.  Not all that much, either, with either group.  But... Nearing the finality of dirty/new dishes needing wash.  Should finish up today.  Oh, and some of what will be washed is new grill utensils.  For both the charcoal and flattop grill.  By the way, I... better get going on that.  My help, isn't, but... I understand that too.  He's only working three, or four now, jobs, putting in... eighty, ninety, hours a week?  Making good, but...  Yeah, I know.  I'll get out soon, and exchange tanks... see if that works.  If not, I have to sort it with amazon or the manufacturer.  Bleh.

Amazing.  Still a bit tired.  I have been pushing it, especially in this heat.  But... I keep on keeping on, to some large or small degree.  So, I'll keep working as I can.  I absolutely love what I am doing.  I am getting ahead, getting things done, making plans and fulfilling those.  I am actually working.  I wouldn't get paid for this slow, lame effort.  It just... isn't enough, fast enough.  But... it is opening up the house and making things better.  Leave or stay, sell or remain, I'll have this sorted before long.

Well... on to dishes.  Everything else that has been done, in all other loads, has been put up.  So it'll be an easy run.  As will dishes when I wake.  Life is good.  Later.

Can't sleep or wake.

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I am sort of inbetween those two.  It is nice an cool.  Which I am enjoying.  Near the computer is the warmest, at 72.  If I opened the door, though, it would chill deeply and quickly.  The living room, and rest of the house, is more like 66 to 68... for now.  I do have it open, but I like the fresh air.

I may attempt to game a bit.  Not sure I can stay awake well enough to focus that much.  Not really interested, either.  Wouldn't want to try a new game, that just... takes way too much focus to sort out.  If all the old games I have are dull or have proven broken.

The problem with gaming, at this point, is nobody wants a ps5, even if they could get it at the promised price.  And all games are being made for the ps5.  But the updates are being crafted to attempt to make the ps4 be able to sort of limp by through the games... which are poorly crafted to boot.  Until something changes, the gaming industry is dead.  No one who can afford a decent computer is using it to play games, either, at this point.  Mining bitcoins, and else, and probably on their bosses, or neighbors, energy bill whether the other knows it or not.

My guess is, a lot of game buys are bogus.  Much like likes on social media, even many blog visits... fictions.  Though, for some, the likes and visits are hidden.  I've watched visits disappear on my site.  First, there are five, then two... or one, immediately, then it's gone.  Everything you see, or don't see, at this point, is a fiction.  Understand that.

But games?  Until everyone is at least up on the new platforms, and no one is going for it, gaming is dead.  I am beginning to suspect they don't even program.  They just have bits and parts of programs they try to meld.  It's all component parts, with most of their programmers in the bug fix area.  If... in truth... they have very few dedicated, functional, programmers.  And, given the modular aspect of game construction, there isn't all that much they can do.  Make the visuals tiny, so it has a chance to run, poorly even then, on a ps4, older computer, or such.  All last gen trying to run next gen.  Plus, horribly programming and political correctness by hating "minorities", women included.

This... isn't going to end well.  Which makes me think they, the elites, believe we are in the end game.  They think they will win, and wipe out "Rome".  They are doing it to the Romans, with what the Romans built, as well.  Interesting how that works.  Bread and circuses really does work at destroying a nation from within.

Oh, I may well end, easily or harshly.  But... I just... don't think it will be the first, or last, time.  And, if so, it would be for a cause.  Not... necessarily mine.  But... I have surrendered my causes, here.  I realize I can't win.  I am not in control, even when I happen to seem to win.  It isn't my game.  King?  Of myself, if to, a king is only a greater servant.  Understand these things and... prepare to kill... or die.