Trying to wake.

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I can't remember when I went to bed.  Before 22:00, I think.  I slept well, warmly, and neither of my feet were hurt (further) during the night.  I did have to remove the socks at some, probably very early, hour.   And, cautiously cool the feet a few times.  I have to be careful with those operations.  To make sure I am not trying to kick or push through wrapped blankets, or that they get so cold so fast that they cramp.

Yes, protection prayers continue as well.  Because I have never been conscious when greater damage occurs, so I honestly don't know the literal cause(s).  My feet have simply become delicate, damaged things.  I take as much care as I am able.  Irreplaceable, and required for simple mobility.

You have no idea what it is to be... alone, and truly hated, in a world filled with evil minds and hands.  Or, sadly, maybe you do.  Demons, devils, people, sometimes naught but a notion of a difference.  Yet, even some shadows have found, attend, some small measures of grace.  It is... possible.  But it has to be... wanted, sought, believed in, trusted, some other things.  The road to hell is a slippery slide, easy and seemingly fun.  The road to heaven is a solid, daily, narrow, winding, grinding, path.  But a true path.

Am I on it?  The path to heaven?  As best I am able, yes.  Is a cripple on any path?  Is it that kind of path?  Do I go off course?  Either that or walk blindly, in faith, for times.  I can't always see the path.  But, when able, I consciously seek it.  Easy.  It often goes against my natural inclinations, it is often more difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible.  But where there is a will toward God's way, there is a way.

A term, dreamed.  Two words.  I wanted to remember them, for when I woke, to see if they actually do, or could, mean something.  I'll keep trying to remember, but possibly lost in the mists of the mind.  I liked the term though.  I really wanted to see the definitions and whether it could be a real term.  Oh well.  Had a similar dream, recently.  About a single word.  A real one, but one I didn't know the definition(s).  I, too, lost it before waking.

It is 42 out this morning?  That is crazy cool.  Did it get cooler through the night?  It was 6:30 when I checked, so very possibly.  Up?  Not quite sure.  Thirsty, so maybe for a bit.  I'll get a shower before long.  Get to town sometime today.  Ugh.  I need some real food.  Cheese quesadillas get old after a bit.  But, still have to be careful until Mom is out.  She began eating everything in sight.  Even drinking my fizzy water, despite saying she hated it.  Limits to supplies, until she is gone.

Though, even then.  If there is nothing to steal, thieves are less likely to make the effort.  I suppose, anyone with "grown" children probably knows that, if that is different too.  Worse when the wife splurges on larder, then lets the "kids" cart if off, only to go shopping again.  THEN complain about money?  Not my "kids", no allowance given.

Well, on to my day.  Or back to sleep a bit?