Staying dry.

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A extra electrolyte dose isn't doing the trick.  Or... mostly.  So I started drinking more fluid.  Also not doing the trick.  I can't tell what is wrong, I just know something is off.  All I can do is keep at things, trying this and that.  I've been using balm, to help.  But even that is limited.  Which tells me it is some form or sort of dehydration.

Today is the third day of not eating.  Starting to feel it though.  I'll see if I have something to eat tomorrow.  A can of soup, with some veggies, maybe cheese?  I have eggs, and canned corn beef hash.  I have clean pans, I believe.  Something?  Or... not.  I'll sort it out in the morning.  Or even yet tonight?

I didn't get the shower in.  I really need one.  Or anything else, save medicine, Sassy's food, one load of laundry reset.  Hmm, I may do the last load, in the wash, tonight.  Put it in the dryer, anyway.  Give it at least one spin.  Not much in there, it should dry quickly.

It's only twenty two hundred, seven after.  Or when I started this.  All good.  If I hurried, with a can of soup and some extras, I could eat within an half hour and be to bed by an hour, hour and a half, depending on how quickly the food settles.  Yes, I think I'll take a looksee.

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Got lost on the way to... something?  Ah, but an hour later, I do have the soup heating, and the laundry drying.  All good.  Goodnight.

A bit off even now.

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A mild headache, exhaustion which I struggle with in order to stay awake as I sit here.  I'll add painkillers, and more electrolytes.  Normally, once I become hydrated, my lips don't chap.  I thought a couple days of an extra dose per day would work.  So, cut the dose to singles per day.  That isn't working.  Might also be why I have a headache?  More electrolytes, and more fluid intake.

I reset the kefir, making another half gallon jar of refrigerated kefir.  There wasn't enough to begin another first fermenting quart jars though.  There was enough to have a sample.  It's not as good as when I get back to raw whole milk, and I don't trust it fully.  But for short term it will do.

A bit of a rough night.

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I got to bed a bit earlier, say around 1:30.  Later than I want, like, but earlier by a good bit than that last three to five nights.  Yes, I'm fighting for days.

I woke around four.  Not for good, but with a real problem.  My left arm and leg were absolutely freezing!  Shouldn't have been.  I reset my bed last night, after changing sheets, pillows, and pillow cases.  And added the electric blanket.  Plus, kept one of the windows up there closed, of the two I used to keep open.

No puns intended?

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Can't be intended, for my part.  They aren't... even puns, as presented, by whomever is presenting?  Right, right.

Taking my words, and songs I have put out, together.  Someone has a fantastic memory, a list of lists they can cross reference with lyrics, an AI that can do that or on it's own, or... some strange coincidences.  Of... course... knowing me like someone must?  They... know I don't believe in such.  Hmm?  Right.

Hmm?

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Not a thing started, going.  Yet?  Hope.  It... is the greatest gift... for the hopeless.  No, not whining, just suggesting fact.  So I say.

Still, it is a pleasant day.  Quiet.  Humble.  Smooth.  No pain.  No energy, but no absolute physical need for it, at the moment.  Sure, I would like to get things started, going, and else.  And I may yet.  Heck, I've been begging myself for a coffee for the last two hours.  Three?  Two.  I've only been awake four and a half hours, and... had a coffee first thing.

Realizations.

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I was fighting.  This morning.  To become conscious.  The alarms... I... wore the poor dears out.  Set for eight and ten, I ran through both, six snoozes of ten minutes each.  I simply could not wake and move.

I thought, earlier, I was struggling with consciousness, waking.  Later I understood better, differently.  I was not struggling with sleep, I was struggling with death.  Noon ten, before I could finally get up and out.  I fed Sassy first thing.

Wow, nice.

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Hibiscus, chamomile, and white tea make a wonderful sip.  I went weaker.  Half the tea and chamomile compared to last time.  And a similar amount of hibiscus as chamomile.  I may start keeping that, because even that was rather strong.  Just use it a second time.  Something I have learned from teas is that a second steeping, while milder, often has different notes as well.  Doesn't work with coffee, but sure does with tea.  Betting it will even with herbal teas and blends.

The hibiscus makes the tea red, like coolaid.  The scent is quite good too, was.  It weakens as it cools.  They have health claims for these.  Believe?  Not... necessarily.  And, even those medical sites which suggest there might be truth, also raise the notion that these things can't replace medicine.

Not much.

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Then again, I ran into a problem.  My phone stopped working.  Fine...

I just call in.  Or... that is what I have done in the past.

Who is watching.

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I had thought watchers had departed.  Oh, there... are a few visits, each day, sometimes each post.  Not many.  And, I thought them to be bots.  Just... scooping data, for good... or ill.  And, maybe that is it.  But it doesn't feel like it.

Someone, of some capacity, and probably several, are viewing.  I can see you to, in my own ways.  I don't need tech.  Tech will fail you.  Sight won't.  Or... well...

Up fairly early.

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Given the givens.  Not down until, midnight? one?  Somewhere in there.  The alarms are set for eight and ten, now.  As day schedule slips.  Holding on better than I often do, though that could change in a day.  I woke a bit before eight, but didn't think I could do the eight alarm, by how I was feeling, doing.  So I shut it off.

Sassy kept wanting food, and attention.  I gave her some of the latter, but went on back to sleep.  She crawled in, and slept with me.  Finally surrendering to the idea that I would be awake soon.

That...

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was a quick response?

I think so.

Decided to share.

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I've been... having interesting... involvements, with women, lately.  Weight loss?  Hair cut?  How I dress, present?  Can't say.  Women from 30 to 40, say, have been... showing interest, to a lot of interest.  Today, in two different places, I had women either approach and... one almost touched me.  I... let her know without doubt I was not interested.

I can almost smell divorcees.  But, too, my standards.  One was probably in her twenties, but I don't count her.  She had visible tattoos on her arm.  Wow.  No.

Why!?!

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Doing what I can.  Getting nowhere for it?  Or so.  Ah, but I did just go up on heart medicine.  I am healed, mostly, save the old wound.  And a bit of that hip bruise, some scab remaining on the knee... both roadrash areas, and slight ankle impingement?  Or such.  Still, I'm in excellent shape, technically, by recent/local variability.

But it really is still cool, cold even, out there.  I turned the heat up today, but it's just not enough.  So sleepy!  Not enough to nap, but enough to be annoyed with life in general.  Runny nose too, which might actually be a sign of another part of the problem, allergies?  I've usually not had pollen reactions, but the last few springs... I think so?  Hmm, may have to see if there is something to take for that, that works with my particular issues?  Yes, maybe... if, when, I can get out.  Going through tissue like there is no tomorrow.

Up early.

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I didn't end up going to bed until a quarter after midnight.  Later than hoped by a goodly bit.  I did set the alarms, but just turning them on?  I... must have forgotten to reset them back to six and eight.  Even so, I woke sometime in the mid sixth hour, being out of bed as if I had used all the snoozes, so right before seven.  Good enough.

With all the efforts failing yesterday, to do things, I am turning the furnace up this morning.  I didn't turn it off, yesterday, as initially proposed.  I feared it would be too cool this morning if I had.  And cool and cold weather, while I am comfortable with it, is the bane of work, effort, even mostly conscious thought.

Very pleasant.

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Just enough food to get through.  I try to eat smaller amounts.  Nothing fancifully small.  Say, three to five hundred calories per meal.  Along with about two to three hundred calories with the fatted coffee, that serves me through the day.  Two meals a day, at that amount, seems best.  If I eat more, when I get back to carnivore, life will be better.  I just can't eat much, currently.  Not enough, all at once, to do a one meal a day thing.  With meat that is more possible, though not always even then.

I had, too, been having another coffee at night.  But I think the tea will fix that.  The white tea was delicious, and the chamomile seemed to add to it nicely.  I will need to reduce how much tea and chamomile I use, however.  That was a bit potent.  Both are, essentially, loose leaf.  And quality.  You can never be certain, until it arrives and is brewed and tasted.  But, yes, this is very good.

Figuring things out.

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With sleep issues persisting, worsening, I ordered chamomile.  Dried, just the flowers.  While it might work better alone, or with other herbals, I will be adding it to white tea.  I also have oolong.  Both types of tea ordered with the chamomile.  About to get going on a cup of chamomile and white tea tonight.  Will see.

As well, I need to eat.  So, before waiting too long, I'll get some food going.  And, while doing that, reset laundry to another run.  Trying to manage things.

No promises, just a thought.

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I was pleased to see health numbers getting, seemingly, impossibly, better.  Really, all of them.  Now, I'm not feeling it.  Still recovering from the accident?  Just the cool dark spring weather?  What gives?  I just can't say with certainty.  

Bp is higher, if not even close to my highest.  Like... 168/100?  It's been 218/ 185 average for six months, twice that I knew.  Actually, for a year one of those times.  Or another time?  Bleh.  Sometimes, for years if unregistered, I haven't necessarily tested.  Blood sugar is over 7, but not by much.  And is a part to my other healing.  Protein is required.  So... sure.

A rough one.

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Not pain, or such.  Struggling with life's wants, needs, and sleep.  I wanted to go to bed at about 22:30, when I realized how late it was.  But hunger just wouldn't let me.  So... I got something going that way, a bit of meatloaf and mashed potatoes.  Heated in the oven.  That takes about forty minutes.  I... just don't trust the microwave, and will only use that when this, that, and the other thing converge to deny a serious need or want of food, and allowing little to possibly practically no time to cook.

So, between getting the food wrapped, and in, the oven going, and that time, it was nearly midnight before I could eat.  Then... I... just can't sleep immediately after eating.  My body just doesn't do t hat.  So... another few hours to settle.  Then, of course, I... forgot the program, as I was tired all yesterday, and more tired at that point.

Someone is digging.

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Bones of stories past are showing.  Some things forgotten become stories.

Some become songs?  So... I have heard it said.

Ah! Something.

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I was... casting about.  Trying to get going, on something.  Anything?  Right, right.

I was getting nowhere.  Almost nodded off, a few times.  But... kept conscious.

So tired!

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I just don't get it.  Food, coffee, medicine... wounds are healing, nearly there... twisted knee and ankle joints are pretty much back to normal.  Not the best food, but limited amounts of it.  Sleeping... enough.  Awake regularly and for the longer typical day periods.

What is wrong?  Maybe... nothing?  Age, illness, overcast rainy cool days, may just add up to be beyond my ability to push through very well, far, hard.

Late to bed.

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Late out of it.  Just could not get to sleep.  One of those nights.  It was just after two when I finally went down.  I reset the alarms from six and eight to eight and ten, waking before the ten alarm by half an hour.  I hit the eight alarm snooze twice but realized that... wasn't ever going to happen so shut it off for the next run.  

As alarms go, this is a good one.  It starts by flashing it's light, which isn't always on.  Then it starts off with a low and slow alarm.  Then, through it's alarm cycle, it gets up to it's max, which isn't too high but good enough.  If I am going to wake, that's all I need.  Plus, it has six snoozes.  It also has 24 hour time option.  Those are wanted/needed features.  It has moon phase, local temp, and an "outside" temp sender (though I'm not sure where that is).

Laughing.

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Someone is saying... something.  Oh, I get it.  Misery, and the friend of that.

Yes, I... see your point.  If, too, I think you fail to see my point?

Down and back up again.

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I haven't napped in ages.  I've been pretty good about being awake pretty much all day.  Sometimes the day is longer or shorter, or actually in the night.  But days have been more like twelve to sixteen hours, with eight hours down.  Pretty regular.  Between medicine, carnivore diet, the right supplements, and such, I've been doing better than I have since I got ill.

The only downside is that work efforts have suffered.  But... that... I am hoping is, was, will be, a temporary thing.  Initially it was due to getting used to the carnivore diet.  Well, and before that, probably diabetes?  And, since, it is the accident.  And I'll go through it again, as I get back to truly carnivore eating again.  But... after that?  Reminds me of building a castle in a swamp?

Getting chilly.

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Getting tired, too, again.  Nearing time to go on back to bed.

Something I saw the other day has been on my mind.  I put up a different video from this guy, but... this is the one I thought the more important.  What he suggests, about this and that?  Well, sure, probably?  Or... so I suggest as well.  However, the important thing is about calories.

A bit rough?

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In some unusual way, yes.  I got down at 19:15, exactly.  That is when I crawled in, covered over, and reached out to turn on the alarms and check the time.  Amazed I stayed up so long.  Like flying a plane in with two thirds a wing and no landing gear.  Didn't need the gear, I guess.  If I crashed, I didn't notice.  Which... means I crashed.  But well.

I woke at two.  Tried to stay in, down.  Made it to 2:48.  But... yes, that was it.  Though, with this early of a wake, I really wouldn't mind a nap, a long one, later.