Sweetcheeks was here.

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I actually thought I could smell her perfume earlier.  No, not some manmade contrivance, she wore no such thing.  She did have her own nutty, coffee, woman scent I always liked.  Actually, I smelled it yesterday "morning", last night, and then again this morning.  Initially I thought it might simply be my own mind.  If it was, it created a response.

I also suspect Drambue may have been involved.  And chocolate?  Hmm.  Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen...

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Let the quacking commence!

The ducks are home, their new home.  I did go with two drakes.  One of the two he liked best, of the three.  A ton of questions, some offers of future trade and help, and good business.  Paid and well.  I hated to see the other fella go home alone.  His fate is all but sealed.  And his whole brood just went away.  I know that well.

The watering system won approval.  The smaller door too.  The rest?  We'll see how it works out.  Watered, fed, nesting material in place, windows and the front, but not short door all open.  Will close it all by 18:00... If that time will scale back with the shortening of the day.  I'll just feed and check water when I feed the cats.  Can't just say girls anymore.

Oh, I might have been talked into meat turkeys next year?  We'll see.  I sure miss turkey.  Four would do me for the year,  say six to eight meat ducks, and about twenty chickens.  Though maybe a few extra for incidental attrition.  And... they prefer breast, while I am all about hinders, love some of that dark meat.  We may well trade portions.  I'll keep some, and some whole, but two thirds would be parted and trading available.

The ducks seem rather relaxed, at least on their own.  They still aren't sure about the ogre.  I'll spend time with them, get them used to me.  It'll work out.  Have yet to see how the cats and ducks work things out.  Should be fine.

Oh, as for cold brew coffee?  Hells yea.  Count me in.  I used an half gallon jar this time.  But mum sent two gallon jars she no longer uses.  I'll just use one at a time, essentially.  The other will be let fly when the first gets low.  Hand ground in conical burr, very course... which also means no grinds broke containment.  Yikes, was thinking I'd have to refilter.  Nope!  Later.

Awake.

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Shouldn't be.  Shouldn't be.  I am sure something woke me.  Heart wasn't racing, just unnaturally wakened.  It is what it is.

I am working on cold brew coffee.  Not sure if it really works.  It has to run until either 13:10 or 15:10... I wrote the time on tape I then put on the lid as I knew I would forget.  So tea this morning.  One really good thing about cold brew is that I will have a goodly amount on hand, as it lasts for weeks (or so it is told).  So that I won't feel compelled to drink a whole or even half pot in a day or two... brewed coffee gets too gnarly for even me in a few days, refrigerated or not.

I'd like to do that with tea, but I drink too much of that for a sixteen hour brewing cycle.  It's difficult enough to keep up.  As is I keep three half gallon jugs of the stuff, plus one in the repurposed coffee pot.  As soon as I burn through one jug, I start over immediately.  I am down to one and an half to two gallons a day, as the weather cools. Still, that is making three to four pots a day.  I... might try a pot of cold brewed tea, just to see.  Though I fear leaf tea usage might increase too terribly... not sure it is as reusable that way.

Tea sounds good.  And meds.  Later.

In a word?

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Everything.  Plus.  Had to drop coin, which is becoming sparse.  Had to spend on variations, in case.  Could be returned if they don't work out.  I set up the sprinklers for tonight.  I also need to clean the coop.  Not for a bit though, several hours down first.  I remembered cash, too, for milk... late on that... plus for ducks and feed.

Pleased.  Broke, or closer than years, but...  one small potential step closer to self sufficiency.  Next year, or the next, meat birds... perhaps.  Though not flocked, just a seasonal brood.  At least to start.  Chickens are probably easier to butcher, if I do hope to get to raising meat ducks.  I will keep the flocks separate, or at least meat from egg.  Perhaps three of them.  Only four ducks, and perhaps eight hens (hens for meat, or roosters? or does it matter... ducks or chickens?).

A strange little life.  It is what I  have left.  Later.

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A bit dark, but I got the coop ready.  If I wake early enough, perhaps more work in the morning.  I am excited and nervous.  I need to tie the feeding and watering to that of the girls.  No cats have been starved in the writing of this blog.  Still, it's different.  Outside, in all weather, trying to keep fresh water?  Yeah.

Only four hens, it turns out.  I'm just not sure if two drakes is one too many.  I may take two and hope.  If he raises more I would like to get two more hens.  Only another drake if I get more, but have to cull one I get now.  I'll just have duck breast dinner.  And, really, if I don't, he might have to anyway.  This would at least offer another drake a shot at life.  Plus, one drake to four hens and he might end up daffy.

The lawn has been watered, and the sideyard, with the veggies, is being hit.  I have found a setting on the variable sprinkler that works.

Later.  Perhaps good night.

Time to go.

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I'm not sure I can get everything done in town I wish, need, to do.  Today.  What has to happen is a watering trough, deep enough for them to clean their bills, shallow enough for them to enter and exit, perhaps with a minor ramp or stones around.  As well, copies of some blank paperwork.  Groceries, registration, and such, are if I can.

Blood sugar is odd.  It was 150 after dinner last night, 250 this morning.  I ate nothing, drinking only tea, taking care with the artificial sweetener.  Three to five drops for between a quart and two.  I really...  Yeah, I have some guesses as to maybe why.  I'll... do some checking, figure it out.  Might come down to dehydration of the fluid sweetener.

Being shaved and clean is good.  It's been a bit.  I'll keep at things, see what else can be done.  I need to clean the coop yet, and water the lawn.  Just a short run, tonight or tomorrow.  Maybe sprinkle grass seed.  Later.

I kept waiting.

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The idea was that I would post as soon as I did something, some  project or chore.  Which, technically, if negatively, is exactly what I did.  As I did nothing.  Couldn't.  I must simply have worn myself out.  Good, but not when I have a pile of things needing done.  It was as it was.

I was hoping to get to the post today. Wasn't sure that was possible.  Would have to be awake before noon.  My days are flipping.  No real control.  I speculated, if I could rise early enough, but not in time to shower, I would go as is.  I did wake in time to shower and shave, with time to spare.  Ugh but life can be murder sometimes.

Still tired and sore, if stiffness has passed.  Only two out of three, but that will serve it's humbling service.  I have other tasks, if the coop and a water trough, so also grocery shopping since I have to be there, are priorities.  Oh, and registration.  Anything else will be as it may.  Grass seed would be good, if I'll have to water more regularly for the short time left... more lightly in with the weakening sun.

The SS paperwork is in.   I'll have it ready by Monday, if I need copies, both pre and post being filled out.  This time registered post, where I can track and someone has to sign. I'm dealing with American haters working in the government.  Not sure even that will do.  Later.

I worked it.

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Up late for it.  Then couldn't turn the machine off until even later. It was past 3:00.  How much later I can't know.  The brain fused into a single fudgy ball of purple haze all along the watch tower.  Waking at noon thirty, and grateful for it.  Not feeling bad in the way I had been, mostly.  Though that may just be the new pains masking the old.  Stiff from that much activity, sore from sleeping so soundly.  All good.  Even if the new pain is enough to mask the old, novelty wins the day!  At this time it seems I am to suffer.  Variation is the spice of life, even in my world of pain.  Or... hot diggity dog!

Today?  Today!?!  You bastard!  I barely crawl out of my grave and... talk about beating a dead horse!  *grins*  A gas, all of it.  Uhrm, right.  Seriously, today, shower and shave, cleaning the inside of the coop.  Setting up the nests a bit, a bill to be paid, and maybe a trip to town.  Some minor shopping, grocery and cat treats.  Oh... registration, if... not that today.  Gah!  It's stupid, waking at noon.  Half the day is gone.  Ugh!

Well, perhaps a bite?  No, not yet.  I have to wake a bit .  Stiff, sore.  I think I've been wrung through an American coffee press.  More filter, done correctly, which it was, more slowly and grueling of a process.  Still?  Amen.  I do it as often as I can, if that doesn't mean much.  Then again, when I am not doing it to myself, my health is.  Just deserts?  Later.

Had to laugh.

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Someone intimated something, musically.  Not funny on it's own, backstory is.

Yeah, not bad.

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Dinner was excellent.  I did end up brining the pork as well as the chicken, for at least an hour.  It took a goodly longer time to finish, but offered more time to dither as to when it was really done.  The pork also took longer.  May have overdone the pork.  Chicken was as perfect, done inside, crispy out, as I can manage with those methods.  Pork is tricky.  Little fat in the meat, save for certain roasts.

I spoke with the duck man.  Fowl man, as he has several flocks of various sorts.  Anyway, Saturday, noonish, is the plan.  They are still unsure about the sexes.  If they make a mistake... too many drakes, one would have to be ended.  Though too few drakes and the one would go daffy trying to ride the herd and guard it.  Hopefully they will... have it down.  Two drakes, though five or six hens, is optimal... preferably six by two though.  He, or his lovely wife, picked up a starter feed batch for me.  Good to have that right off.  Much appreciated.

It gives me time finish.  Honestly, it is functionally complete.  Save for flooring and nesting material placement.  It just needs the last bit of cleaning.  The second door is more a luxury.  Oh, need a watering tub!  I won't be doing a pool quite this year.  By the time they leave their coop much, it will be early spring, late winter, save for supervised part day trips?  Will see.  It'll partly be up to them, too.

Ugh.  A few more tasks if I can't remember all that was done.  I hit the plants with more diatomatious earth.  Especially the new leaves.  I just knew, if I didn't, they'd be gone... soon.  I hit the soil well too.  That is were the little monsters escaped when caught.  I'll be done with them soon.

I also got my mortgage paid.  I just lost track.  So happy to have that.  I have a bill yet this month, and one overdue but payable next month.  Ugh.  Oh, and the lawn is being watered tonight.  Yikes but I fell behind with that.  I'll let it run for a good bit, move the sprinklers and get it all.  Yeah, mia culpa.

Yeah.  It has been a good day.  Tight.  Getting really tired.  Still have four to five hours, three to four?  Watering.  I'll... do it, and finish the scant dishes, fold the underquilts for next bedding change, and part the meat into serving sizes, wrap, and put up.  Ugh?  I think so, but I like a little ugh in my life, or big.

Ten bloody noses in the last four days.  At least half of them gushers.  Something is going on.  Dreams are just part of it.  Yeah.  Ugh.

Later or good night.

Quite a day.

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I was starting to become depressed.  Without counting, it seemed I was getting nowhere.  I... seemed to be working, it just... my list didn't seem to be getting shorter.  I kept at.  Finally I counted what I had done.  Four or five loads of laundry, all folded or awaiting hangers, save two mattress underquilts which have been murder to get dry, even when I finally did them alone each.  Grrrrrhhhh!

The last one is finishing, the other seems done... will check when I check her sister.  Have to be female, nothing else can be that damned fussy!  Then I finished a couple of loads of dishes and pots.  Three?  I think so.  All of them, really.  Next, grilling meat and some sort of last meal, uhrm, for the day.  I should brine the chicken... can't trust it these days.  An hour, according to my mother.

Yeah, I have been working.  If not too hard, rather fully through time.  Keeping busy.  I can't fault my actions, or even the dratted sisters, merely my flawed notion of time and what can practically be done in time.  I'm a time killer.  So, while I explore this side of things, I am bound to become befuddled by your strange, and truly unnatural, side of events.  Time isn't what it seems.  I don't play sudoku in five seconds because I am fast.  I do that when I remember what time is... a boundary given to man so that he might find God, in all that means, more readily.  Not all live in, or are as completely bound by it, as men.

My story.  Sticking to it.  Later, gator.

Marginally better.

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Which actually means much better, as the margins are across the board.  Still far too tired, but able to wake at 8:30.  The organs hurt a bit, but less, and that has almost eased away.  I am already planning work.  No promises but I think so.  I even called my mom.  All good.

Ah, work?  I have a few new spice jars.  New?  Well, unused.  They have been around for a while.  I just haven't washed them.  Those,  table wares and a pot from supper will be set up shortly.  I had canned veggies with butter for supper.  Blood sugar is still too high.  As well, I'll push the laundry through.  I did fold the other load.  As well, I want to clear and clean the coop, perhaps make a stab at installing a front screen door.  It would allow options.

Dreams, again.  One of travelling the world, if all I remembered was viewing or collecting catterpillars.  Of all sorts.  And remembering the environments in which they were found.  I would handle each, if it was safe for the creature and myself, some of them are lethally poisonous.  It was a wonderful dream.

The other dream was from a time I thought the world could be owned, and thought I wanted a slice of it.  Having a woman, a piece of this world, to gain control... if not an earthly king, then at least a prince.  I was doing it, going places.  Lost it all, one piece off the board, one space, one or more people at a time.  Still?  What I have learned, humbling, hard, as it has been... it will spare my soul.  Or, more, led me to a place were I found what will.  Gift or... more, less?  I can't know.

As with the dreams from the other videos, these were all from before an, if still simple, understanding of the divine, my walk with God.  I fear little, save the God formation process, now.  As much as I have suffered I know next to nothing of suffering in comparison, and that before His walk as Christ.  Thankfully I didn't just lose hubris, but in so doing lost my fear.  Or the lesser parts of it.  I do fear, but my God, Lord, not men.  If even that is an alternate form of the word.  It is as any son should fear his father.  Still disturbing, just not as before, when he who is like God was less a disgusted oath and more a sought path, as the Northwest Passage.  Are we supposed to seek that?  How can we know if we don't try?

There was another dream.  In it I was in the Navy.  We had captured crook-tyrants, including much plunder.  Several of us were in with it, before they secured it, and decided to take a bit.  I grabbed a couple  (ten, fifteen) pounds of gold, and what turned into nearly half a million just in bills (some foreign nations, oil states, have huge denominations... as the dream goes, not sure if real).  All of it fit in a smaller shave kit case.  We all agreed, if caught, we alone did it.

I got mine out, then hid it in the head (bathroom, for non sailors or marines).  Something about having pet mice, ending up with more small mice!  Textural, as with the catterpillars.  Anyway, I suspected I had nearly been caught hiding my stash, so... I figured I'd make sure to get caught, but with something else.

I bought an exact duplicate container.  In it I put cans of beer and a few pints of whisky.  I then exchanged them, but made sure I'd get caught with the other case.  It worked.  I eventually got away with my plunder.  A strange dream, for many reasons.  But there you go.  Three dreams remembered, on one night.

Later.

Feeling and doing better.

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The dishes, then more, and more yet.  A load of laundry through to going in the dryer, plus another washing.  Well, and a small load from the last efforts, to be folded.  No meat thawed.  Cleaned what I cooked in last, as it has the right sized steamer basket for cabbage.  That and butter.  I saw that I have bacon, eggs, and hot dogs.  Cabbage isn't enough.  Bacon and eggs, bacon dogs grilled, or the whole works?

Innards are feeling better.  I didn't, and haven't been, taking even aspirin.  If it is medicinal, or in part, perhaps it is better to hurt?  That was my thinking.  Then again, it isn't the liver or kidneys?  Could I tell with certainty?  I just don't wish to risk it.  Blood sugar is high, 191 after eating cabbage... two wedges, with butter.  I am counting drops of sweetener, five per quart, going without every other or two for three.  Ugh.

Pasta, too much, too frequently, too recently.  Meat thawing for the week.  Eating less and less often, hopefully fasting this weekend, if I can, and remember.  I am planning more stirfrying.  An easy, non-microwave way to use meats, with about any veggie.  And it's easier to add more fat.  Eggs are great for it as well.  I'll... keep at it.  Doing better than any trip return in... since I became ill.  Still rough.

Best get to the laundry, then food.  It'll still be intermittent fasting, if I hurry.  Later or good night.

Ah, the others.

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It wasn't a dream.  More than two.  Two vids will get you in the neighborhood.

Which dream of all is more disturbing I cannot rightly say.  Including her entering my shower.  For myself.  If I think, at this point in life, I know with which I am more comfortable.  I doubt if we are in agreement.  THese aren't exact, but will do quite enough.

Could not wake.

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Late.  It was 11:00 before I could pull myself out of bed.  Even then it was brutal, difficult.  If you have never been in a fight against three or four men, how my midsection feels wouldn't make sense to you.  Yeah, I've had to do that at least an half dozen times.  Not a choice.  I simply wouldn't go along to get along with crooks, creeps, or such.  Surprised I never ended up killing anyone, civilianside for sure.

My organs and torso were getting better.  Or so I thought.  Oh well.  I will work today.  Not a lot.  Dishes, laundry, and probably the cage shelving... or at least figuring that out.  A shave and shower too.  Will do, hurt or no.  Hungry too.  Thinking of trying something keto.  I'll wake for a couple hours, then hit it.

Oh, dreams.  I was taking a shower and my last barged in.  Damn, I forgot how pretty women are.  Sure, see them often, but haven't seen one in such a way for a while now. I ignore most women.  They seem mostly in the hookup market, not my gig.  Another dream, different, slipping away from memory's grasp.  If it returns I'll post it.

Later.

Rough.

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Waking with what feels almost like gas.  It isn't.  Not sure what it is.  It isn't good, if far from lethal.  Just uncomfortable.  It is way to early.  Perhaps I'll be able to sleep shortly. I hate waking in the middle of the night.  Later?

Dreaming.  Explosive.  Can't hold onto them.

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Back to bed.  Giving it a shot.

A few things, maybe more.

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Of course, trash and recycling.  Of course feeding and watering the girls, plus their litter care.  Then I set the dishes, and had a bite to eat.  Dishes were reset.  That all happened quickly, mostly.  I'd like to finish dishes, put a load of laundry in, then get a shower and shave?  Doable.  If I can stand.

I do give the girls snacks several times a day.  When I treat the girls, I will feed the ducks.  Feeding them two to three times a day improves their laying, about 130 grams per day, total, per bird?  I'll figure it out before long.  Their feed will be off, being based on my day, but it should do.

The plant cutting my mother sent home is not only not dying, or still being eaten, it is really doing well.  Where the new leaf had been eaten off another or three leaves are making their way.  As well, one of the nubs were a leaf had died and was removed has begun at least two leaves.  I absolutely drenched the plants in diatomatious earth, rinsed them, and did it again.  They look like they were snowed on.  I'll shower them again, powder the dirt were the suspects would live, see if I can leave the leaves bear.

I called my mom, again.  Figured she was working.  She was, and busy.  At least I got to say hello.

Still a bit rough.  Hoping getting a few things done will help.  Later.

Something is still way off.

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I would have thought I would have recovered by now.  Not sure if it was all the extra fluid that had been in there, the medicine it took to get rid of it, or both which hurt things... if I suspect those are the main probable causes.  Actually, I have to go with both.  Being down to three, then two pills, for five or six days now, between those amounts, and being correctly dry, I had hoped I would be feeling better.  At least the pain is old... as bruising, not fresh hits.  Fairly old, if lingering strongly.  Then again, it sometimes takes me longer to heal these days.

I got nothing done yesterday.  I actively decided not to fast though.  Healing slower as is.  Fasting is more likely to further slow that.  No, not fasting, not yet.  I didn't get anything out, trash or recycling.  I did get the bags to the bins this morning, but being the only bags, I didn't bother taking them to the curb.  Trash is double bagged, so not a problem... recycling is always dry, so not an issue.

I think coffee every other day, unless I can keep it to half or a third a pot.  Even then, I've just lost me enamor of coffee.  It does make a much better vehicle for my version of a fat coffee.  Tea is thinner, much more viscous, even with cream.  And it has an odd mouthfeel with cream added.  Coffee just works better.

I am hoping for more today.  Something.  Anything.  So rough still.  Won't promise.

Later.

I needed a break.

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Still do.  Not just still worn, but my organs are complaining.  They are improving, slowly.  I have backed the water pills down to two, after down to three.  I am as dry as I can get without injury, illness, or death.  The swelling is gone, definitely in the legs on down.  And I am drinking less, for now.  It is cooler, which helps with that.  Still, two may or may not be enough.  Will see.

I meant to fast this weekend.  It hasn't happened, just didn't remember when I was.  Will fast today and tomorrow... if I can... at least.  Straight through.  My blood sugar has been crazy high for what I have been eating.  Although Friday was pasta, so...  But even before that, eating pork.  The picnic roast.  Some of the fat was charred.  I wonder if that turns to a sugar?  I'll have to investigate.

Today?  Not much.  I have eight pieces, silverware and a jar mostly to wash, water and dairy kefir to reset, trash and recycling to go, and a shower and shave.  I may have a load of whites.  I won't be going fast, not even sure I will get it all.  Internals are still rough.  I suppose I could put the cages up and together, or not.  Ideas.  Other than trash and recycling, shower and shave, I just don't know.  Hmm, oh, but a coffee.  No cream, just MTC oil and a few drops of sweetener.  I'd like to drop sweeteners but I just can't.  I'll... try to cut back, again.