.
.
But enough of that. I need and want to get the house sorted out. There is nothing major to do, just a number of little things. Having swept recently, I need to vacuum today. I would like to begin my list of things to do, including a cleaning of the bathroom toilets and sinks, collecting trash for putting out Sunday, kitty litter whole change, dishes, a load or two of laundry, and then potato salad and a clean up from that so my kitchen is set up for this next week, and a basic pick up and neatening around the house. Darn it, my mother and I just spent two weeks making this place good and I will not waste that effort. It is too sweet to be in a kempt clean place to let it go. Beside that, I really need to push through now. I have rested about as much as I need, should, and beyond what I wanted for what that is worth.
Sam has really come around. She has become so very solid. She has had nothing but change since I arrived. First me and my erratic sleep and work schedule added to a house in disarray, then my mother's visit, and then a kitten. As things have settled, I can feel her body becoming more solid, her muscles built up again, some weight gain, and a more sure attitude. Between life normalizing, her becoming sure of me, and actually having a kitten to 'train', she is coming into her own as I have never seen her. I am proud to know her.
Sissy is coming into maturity as well. From a sporting wildling when she first arrived, to a still playful but more guided hellion, she is growing taller and leaner, learning limits, but still having a blast! The energy she has is addictive, and wearying. With the bell on, I had at first started nicknaming her tinkerbell, as she learned to fart, I now nickname her stinkerbell. I think Sam approves of the new nickname (I use just between Sam and myself or under my breath). Sam almost grins now, when I say it. Heh.
Though still tired, it is time to begin pushing through a bit. A week off is good. I do not know if I can push through for certain. I have prioritized well enough though, and some things will get much more of a push than other things. I think those things, the list toppers, are part of what holds me down. Uncertainty, really new things, and bigger money situations, cause me stress which can do more to freeze up my systems than physical exhaustion does or even can do. However, I realize that at any point, I might freeze up for no reason whatsoever. I can only try to push through. If I find myself sleeping late and long, I simply have to understand that is sometimes the way of things.
I am hoping to finish up the lawn care, meaning weed whipping, the mounds of dirt, and figuring out the piles from raking, this week. As well, I will be keeping on the electrician and finding out how to file for the rebate. Anything else, beyond the list of house care, will be extra when and if I can get to it. I would like, this week, to figure out who I owe, what is on automatic pay, get what is not on automatic pay on auto pay, and start figuring out my finances. It seems a bit late, but that is how it goes. I am where I am and have done what I could do. I know some people have it all on the ball. For me, this IS on the ball. It is as good as I have done in decades.
Oh, and next week, I need to see about getting to the dam. Due to time constraints, I may merely drive there. Especially if I want to begin doing any other forms of hiking. I have found even a simpler hike than what I had initially noted here in the blog. It is longer but flatter. At 14 miles, up and back should I choose to take the whole thing, it will offer an opportunity to shape up without much risk. The hike has some very gradual elevation in it and a good deal of distance. As well, there are plenty of places to rest and I can cut it short and turn around if need be.
That is that. My short term goals, some plans to get out, and a push to get back into the game. I suppose I should get today's work done and get ready for tomorrow. Sam is out and about, so when I need a break, I will go out and see what she is doing. Every hour or so, I will check on her. I think she sorely misses having company outside, company my mother provided while she took rests from her work. Have a great day.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
The iron man moves.
.
.
Slowly, very slowly, I am doing things. Yesterday I made it into town early enough to visit my broker's office. By chance, he was there. I also saw one of the ladies who helped a great deal and the owner. By the way, those were good things. They worked very hard and long on a difficult deal with a difficult financier and difficult people (me included, I suppose). Really, if it had not been for them I would not be in my home. I checked to see if they still had information regarding the electrical inspection, which they did. Trust me, that was a huge thing. After the visit, I went to my appointment, and then picked up my friend to go shooting. We found a path we had not driven before, after checking out several of them. There is a lot of road on the top of the world. We both need more practice, for certain.
I was pretty much done after that. Actually, just doing what I did wiped me out again. I could not sleep though, not until 3:30 and sleep was elusive and light. I thought of setting my alarm for 8:00 but decided 10:00 would be better if even then a bit doubtful. Foolish me, I forgot about the other alarm I had been tinkering with. I had both alarms on it set for 8:30 and 9:00. I had to wake each time to shut each off, not being awake enough to realize what I knew, that both alarms were set on the device. Unable to really get back to sleep, I got up at 9:45, turned off the primary alarm, and started my day.
Nothing has been done until recently. Exhaustion lingers. At 14:00 I searched for the paperwork regarding the electrician who had done the inspection and found the papers. I then tried to call the company. No one answered, so I left a message. I then called the insurance company I am working with and let them know where I was with things. They seemed okay with what is going on and thanked me for keeping them abreast of where things are. Good enough, for the moment. If I hear nothing from the electrician I will call him again Monday.
No, not much will be done. I have pushed hard. Body and mind are done in. At least it was cool last night. My readings indicate it got down to 49 F outside, about 65 or 55 inside. Nice, for me. Oh I love the cool. It does help me sleep. I am hoping to be rested up to hit things again hard on Monday. I have an appointment in the afternoon. I want to check on the electrician in the morning. As well, I have other matters to attend with the insurance company. I will gather those other materials to drop them off on my way into Logan. I will also do one of the dirt piles, the other on the following day along with weed whipping on Tuesday. For the weekend, I have been invited to a meal Sunday. I have suggested I will bring potato salad. Other than making a decent supply of that, this weekend is about rest and a little bit of cleaning... those things on my list.
Sam seems to be doing a lot better with my system. Having some time at night to be safely away from the dreaded kitteh, she can then handle a little time with her inside and some time outside. Sam was getting thin and a bit weak for a bit. Finally, yesterday, she started to do better, feeling more substantial. She now feels solid and strong again. Sassy seems to be functioning well, but has learned to climb even my high rise bed. However, I have had to put my foot down with her. Hitting a cat is a foolish and wrongful thing. However, sprinkling holy water... well, okay, tap water but they do not know the difference!.. works quite well. When she scratches where she should not, attacks electrical or speaker wires, or does other little things, a little sprinkle does well. Further, after sprinkling her for a bit, I get the same effect without water. I will mix water in occasionally, for a while. But I think I know how to tame the shmeow. Ha!
Well, back to recovery. Hmm, hungry... barbecued kitteh? It is a thought. *evil grins* Ha! I think Sam would help me. Have a good day.
.
Slowly, very slowly, I am doing things. Yesterday I made it into town early enough to visit my broker's office. By chance, he was there. I also saw one of the ladies who helped a great deal and the owner. By the way, those were good things. They worked very hard and long on a difficult deal with a difficult financier and difficult people (me included, I suppose). Really, if it had not been for them I would not be in my home. I checked to see if they still had information regarding the electrical inspection, which they did. Trust me, that was a huge thing. After the visit, I went to my appointment, and then picked up my friend to go shooting. We found a path we had not driven before, after checking out several of them. There is a lot of road on the top of the world. We both need more practice, for certain.
I was pretty much done after that. Actually, just doing what I did wiped me out again. I could not sleep though, not until 3:30 and sleep was elusive and light. I thought of setting my alarm for 8:00 but decided 10:00 would be better if even then a bit doubtful. Foolish me, I forgot about the other alarm I had been tinkering with. I had both alarms on it set for 8:30 and 9:00. I had to wake each time to shut each off, not being awake enough to realize what I knew, that both alarms were set on the device. Unable to really get back to sleep, I got up at 9:45, turned off the primary alarm, and started my day.
Nothing has been done until recently. Exhaustion lingers. At 14:00 I searched for the paperwork regarding the electrician who had done the inspection and found the papers. I then tried to call the company. No one answered, so I left a message. I then called the insurance company I am working with and let them know where I was with things. They seemed okay with what is going on and thanked me for keeping them abreast of where things are. Good enough, for the moment. If I hear nothing from the electrician I will call him again Monday.
No, not much will be done. I have pushed hard. Body and mind are done in. At least it was cool last night. My readings indicate it got down to 49 F outside, about 65 or 55 inside. Nice, for me. Oh I love the cool. It does help me sleep. I am hoping to be rested up to hit things again hard on Monday. I have an appointment in the afternoon. I want to check on the electrician in the morning. As well, I have other matters to attend with the insurance company. I will gather those other materials to drop them off on my way into Logan. I will also do one of the dirt piles, the other on the following day along with weed whipping on Tuesday. For the weekend, I have been invited to a meal Sunday. I have suggested I will bring potato salad. Other than making a decent supply of that, this weekend is about rest and a little bit of cleaning... those things on my list.
Sam seems to be doing a lot better with my system. Having some time at night to be safely away from the dreaded kitteh, she can then handle a little time with her inside and some time outside. Sam was getting thin and a bit weak for a bit. Finally, yesterday, she started to do better, feeling more substantial. She now feels solid and strong again. Sassy seems to be functioning well, but has learned to climb even my high rise bed. However, I have had to put my foot down with her. Hitting a cat is a foolish and wrongful thing. However, sprinkling holy water... well, okay, tap water but they do not know the difference!.. works quite well. When she scratches where she should not, attacks electrical or speaker wires, or does other little things, a little sprinkle does well. Further, after sprinkling her for a bit, I get the same effect without water. I will mix water in occasionally, for a while. But I think I know how to tame the shmeow. Ha!
Well, back to recovery. Hmm, hungry... barbecued kitteh? It is a thought. *evil grins* Ha! I think Sam would help me. Have a good day.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I pushed for too long.
.
.
And I pushed too hard. I am not functioning well. Headaches all of the time, exhaustion, and difficulty functioning. I will improve, over time, but there are things I have to figure out how to do. Insurance business is primary, rebate is next. Everything else will simply have to take a back seat. Eating my usual foods is not helping much either, though it is not hurting. This is always a tough place to be. I am getting up in the mornings and I am going to sleep on a regular schedule. I simply am not able to push much else through.
I had wondered if the cat problems were adding to this problem, but I honestly do not think so. I think, if anything, the critters are helping. By forcing me to be aware, through interaction, through feeding and care, they are keeping me more grounded. This is a good thing for someone who can otherwise intellectually, perhaps even spiritually, simply drift into thin air. A good scratch mauling by Sassy brings me out of stupor fairly quickly and profoundly. If she wants attention, she certainly knows how to get it. And Sam seems to know when I drift and will make her presence known. I do not think Sam likes me to drift. Odd. Sassy, on the other hand, does not know or care, but she knows she likes having someone to play with and, well, I am easier to deal with than Sam.
I am, mostly, keeping up with the mundane work. I did not get to dishes last night, but there are few. The litter boxes are being well tended, food is being prepared, I am keeping the place neat to a greater extent, and this is good. But making those calls and doing work just has not happened as I thought it might. I really did push while my mother was here. With her guidance, and with great effort, almost every day was what I call a heavy day. As I said, working every other day is about what I can do, at the moment and on my own, so I blew a fuse working for 3 weeks at full pace. I now know that pushing beyond that does have a heavy price. I am paying that price. Perhaps, on top of that, it is high summer here. I am not good with heat. Even with the inside being relatively cooler, thus manageable, I think the heat does get to me. I may try showers several times a day, as I had been, to cool a bit more. It is a tough time in several ways.
I will try to contact some people today, regarding the electrical inspection. I have an appointment and will go shooting after that. Beyond that, today is, again, a wash. More Tylenol first thing, and I will be taking a few with me. *huffing and puffing* I am hoping to get a few things through while taking what seems to be an unavoidable break. Dang but this can be tough.
Have a great day though. Do what you can. And hassle some cat, they love it, trust me. *poof*
.
And I pushed too hard. I am not functioning well. Headaches all of the time, exhaustion, and difficulty functioning. I will improve, over time, but there are things I have to figure out how to do. Insurance business is primary, rebate is next. Everything else will simply have to take a back seat. Eating my usual foods is not helping much either, though it is not hurting. This is always a tough place to be. I am getting up in the mornings and I am going to sleep on a regular schedule. I simply am not able to push much else through.
I had wondered if the cat problems were adding to this problem, but I honestly do not think so. I think, if anything, the critters are helping. By forcing me to be aware, through interaction, through feeding and care, they are keeping me more grounded. This is a good thing for someone who can otherwise intellectually, perhaps even spiritually, simply drift into thin air. A good scratch mauling by Sassy brings me out of stupor fairly quickly and profoundly. If she wants attention, she certainly knows how to get it. And Sam seems to know when I drift and will make her presence known. I do not think Sam likes me to drift. Odd. Sassy, on the other hand, does not know or care, but she knows she likes having someone to play with and, well, I am easier to deal with than Sam.
I am, mostly, keeping up with the mundane work. I did not get to dishes last night, but there are few. The litter boxes are being well tended, food is being prepared, I am keeping the place neat to a greater extent, and this is good. But making those calls and doing work just has not happened as I thought it might. I really did push while my mother was here. With her guidance, and with great effort, almost every day was what I call a heavy day. As I said, working every other day is about what I can do, at the moment and on my own, so I blew a fuse working for 3 weeks at full pace. I now know that pushing beyond that does have a heavy price. I am paying that price. Perhaps, on top of that, it is high summer here. I am not good with heat. Even with the inside being relatively cooler, thus manageable, I think the heat does get to me. I may try showers several times a day, as I had been, to cool a bit more. It is a tough time in several ways.
I will try to contact some people today, regarding the electrical inspection. I have an appointment and will go shooting after that. Beyond that, today is, again, a wash. More Tylenol first thing, and I will be taking a few with me. *huffing and puffing* I am hoping to get a few things through while taking what seems to be an unavoidable break. Dang but this can be tough.
Have a great day though. Do what you can. And hassle some cat, they love it, trust me. *poof*
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
So it goes.
.
.
A tough day indeed. Tylenol and a nap helped, but I simply could not get to things. I did not wake until 18:30 or so. Still exhausted but wanting to try and get to bed early tonight, I got up. I cooked some food at about 20:00, some meats I ordered from the locker. Along with a potato and milk, supper was good enough. It has been a tough day. I am having muscles hurt, like they had been pulled, in my right leg and a few other spots. Not sure what is up.
I have several serious pieces of business to perform. The tax rebate and the insurance business are top on the list. These are vital and I have been dragging bottom getting to them. I hope to wake early tomorrow, well, 8:00. But then have a shower, shave, then be groomed and dressed and out the door by 9:00. I am hoping to stop in and see my broker. Then I would like to find out who to talk to regarding this tax rebate. I have heard it rumored that veterans might have an exemption regarding property and automobile taxes. If 100 percent service connected does not get it, then it is merely rumor.
I do enjoy Sassy, but I must admit, she is a major pain. Watching Sam today, I see that she is simply being exhausted by the interloper. My decision to let Sam out was a good one. She returned when called, so I let her stay out usually. I brought her in once to make sure she ate and drank. Then I let her back out for a goodly bit. Again, she came when called but it was nearing my bed time. Sam is so lackluster that I actually feel bad for her. I have decided to make my bedroom her safe haven until Sassy is a little more mature and for the most part. I will close my bedroom door at night, keeping Sassy at bay. And putting food, water on a mat in the bedroom, and one of the litter boxes in the master bathroom for her. My intervention, I believe, ends there. If Sassy learns to climb the bed, Sam will have to figure things out in the day. Her rest is at night. Oh, I have placed a collar on Sassy. It makes it a LOT easier to track her down, know when I get near the door if I need to look for a blur or tuft, and otherwise have a sense that their are indeed fairies. Heh. Stupid cats! Then again, quite often, that is exactly what they think of me. And, really, fairly. To think I want a wife and kids too!
A good glass of water, maybe a few more Tylenol though only a few, washing the dishes, and then I think it is time to crawl into bed. Have a good night. Never give up, never surrender (unless there are Oreos and a glass of milk involved). Good night, all.
.
A tough day indeed. Tylenol and a nap helped, but I simply could not get to things. I did not wake until 18:30 or so. Still exhausted but wanting to try and get to bed early tonight, I got up. I cooked some food at about 20:00, some meats I ordered from the locker. Along with a potato and milk, supper was good enough. It has been a tough day. I am having muscles hurt, like they had been pulled, in my right leg and a few other spots. Not sure what is up.
I have several serious pieces of business to perform. The tax rebate and the insurance business are top on the list. These are vital and I have been dragging bottom getting to them. I hope to wake early tomorrow, well, 8:00. But then have a shower, shave, then be groomed and dressed and out the door by 9:00. I am hoping to stop in and see my broker. Then I would like to find out who to talk to regarding this tax rebate. I have heard it rumored that veterans might have an exemption regarding property and automobile taxes. If 100 percent service connected does not get it, then it is merely rumor.
I do enjoy Sassy, but I must admit, she is a major pain. Watching Sam today, I see that she is simply being exhausted by the interloper. My decision to let Sam out was a good one. She returned when called, so I let her stay out usually. I brought her in once to make sure she ate and drank. Then I let her back out for a goodly bit. Again, she came when called but it was nearing my bed time. Sam is so lackluster that I actually feel bad for her. I have decided to make my bedroom her safe haven until Sassy is a little more mature and for the most part. I will close my bedroom door at night, keeping Sassy at bay. And putting food, water on a mat in the bedroom, and one of the litter boxes in the master bathroom for her. My intervention, I believe, ends there. If Sassy learns to climb the bed, Sam will have to figure things out in the day. Her rest is at night. Oh, I have placed a collar on Sassy. It makes it a LOT easier to track her down, know when I get near the door if I need to look for a blur or tuft, and otherwise have a sense that their are indeed fairies. Heh. Stupid cats! Then again, quite often, that is exactly what they think of me. And, really, fairly. To think I want a wife and kids too!
A good glass of water, maybe a few more Tylenol though only a few, washing the dishes, and then I think it is time to crawl into bed. Have a good night. Never give up, never surrender (unless there are Oreos and a glass of milk involved). Good night, all.
Bad headache.
.
.
Light is even a bit troublesome, though noise seems to be okay at lower levels. The headache has been coming on since my late start (9:00). I almost suspect I am having withdrawals from second hand smoke? Could be, but it is a doozy. Four or five aspirin along with a nap should see me back to fighting form for an afternoon of work. I hope.
I was correct about Sassy, the kitten. She finally, however, has started to realize she has a tail. From that point on, chasing the tail has become the new game of choice. When she comes over and bothers me a bit to much... I put her back on the trail of the tail by reminding her that she is being followed. Too funny. She really is just a baby still.
I have kept Sam in for quite some time, and not allowed her into my bedroom either. I, in my weakened state, gave in to her begging just a bit ago. I will check out of doors and see if she will come by. If so, I will let her out a bit more. If not, she stays in until I give in. A few days to a week, I suppose? Who knows.
Having beans back on the menu is great. I did not get to rice, or cereals this morning. I will do what I can, but I really am exhausted. The headache does not help things. I am keeping up the place though, and tending to unhappy cat types. Tomorrow is another appointment day, and some shooting.
I hope to clean the .22's I plan on taking this evening and I will be picking up a couple of big boxes of .22 ammunition on my way to shoot. I will begin stocking up on those, buying perhaps a thousand or two a month for the next three to five months. They are not dirt cheap anymore, usually running at $20 for 400 to 500. I think 10k .22 bullets is very doable. I will check my .45 ammunition, but I think I have at least 2k of those. I have about 15 to 20 boxes of various shotgun shells (could use more 00 buck, but that is really pricey). And I need a lot more AK ammo. In a pinch, the AK would take a deer, even an elk or a moose I would guess.
The next long term planning material would probably be heritage seed. There are heritage seed bulk packages, which would be nice if I had several thousand dollars sitting in my back pocket. I think I can buy heritage seeds locally, by the packet, and store them more manageable. I suspect I will pay more over time, buying them piecemeal (unless I find some great sales), but that is the reality of what I can do. Plus, I can pick things I think I like or want more than just taking what is given in a big packet.
I would like to work on making the house more secure, but that is probably beyond my finances. Building materials are pricey. Wood seems cheap enough until you get around to figuring out how much you really need, then adding that up. Doors are pricey, great doors cost a goodly bit. And, I still have to figure out the hen house roofing, if needed. I have the wasp spray, so I will be visiting that whole notion and place soon.
My preparations are eclectic. Bits here, parts there, gear here, some of it in complete sets, some of it only partially collected, an odd collection of dehydrated and storable food, with some cans thrown in for added complication of thought. I do what I can, when I can, as I can afford it, over time. And yet I live in a modern working world (for the time being) and give my nod to some of that. It is simply as good as I can do, with what I have, according to my finances, state of mind, and organizational skills.
I must admit, I thought as soon as I had a home and storage space, preparations would suddenly spring to life and it would all make sense. It simply does not work that way. Some things I have purchased will be fantastic, like shovels, rakes, trowels, and other tools. Other things will not work well, or at all possibly. Who needs a television if cable does not exist? Why have a water softener or reverse osmosis system if the municipal water system fails, or electricity does not run (for the softener)? I simply do not know. Will I be caught pretty much flat footed? That is not a serious question, as actually who will not be caught in such a state?
I seriously wonder though, about preparation. Much like the tests in engineering, those who study seem to get better grades. Cool, really. But I knew then as I know now and about this... what happens on a test with predesigned material does not carry into understanding or function, not in academics or the more the real world. Many of those kids who, initially, got better grades... after talking with them later... I realized they knew nothing about the math or physics they just got a good grade on. They simply stamped enough problems into their head that they could get a good grade. Same goes here. It will not, completely, be based on what you have. Survival will be based on your ability to use what you have, to function with what you have learned, and to face hardships you cannot imagine.
I have faced hardship, I have been tested, but I am weak in some areas and my goods are a bit light. Even for those who have everything else, the one thing this survivor of several deaths knows is, there is something inside, something that will be tested every time I approach that anomaly. Call it the psychic ability to survive a bullet. Many, even among the most ardent, will fail here. It does not have to be a bullet. It is not a conscious choice. It might well simply be an ability. It could simply be the flat realization that we will have to carry water every day for the rest of our lives, that we will have to plant our food and hope for no hail but plenty of rain at the right times, that the outdoors is our bathroom for the rest of our lives, and that everything we have known up to this point is gone. Those people we knew in California, Iowa, Ohio, and Florida... we will not know if they survived. And we will probably never see or hear from them again. Family, friends, associates... effectively gone. Are you sure you are prepared? I must admit, I almost wish I knew I could not handle that 'bullet'. But I already know I can, so I best get to preparing.
.
Light is even a bit troublesome, though noise seems to be okay at lower levels. The headache has been coming on since my late start (9:00). I almost suspect I am having withdrawals from second hand smoke? Could be, but it is a doozy. Four or five aspirin along with a nap should see me back to fighting form for an afternoon of work. I hope.
I was correct about Sassy, the kitten. She finally, however, has started to realize she has a tail. From that point on, chasing the tail has become the new game of choice. When she comes over and bothers me a bit to much... I put her back on the trail of the tail by reminding her that she is being followed. Too funny. She really is just a baby still.
I have kept Sam in for quite some time, and not allowed her into my bedroom either. I, in my weakened state, gave in to her begging just a bit ago. I will check out of doors and see if she will come by. If so, I will let her out a bit more. If not, she stays in until I give in. A few days to a week, I suppose? Who knows.
Having beans back on the menu is great. I did not get to rice, or cereals this morning. I will do what I can, but I really am exhausted. The headache does not help things. I am keeping up the place though, and tending to unhappy cat types. Tomorrow is another appointment day, and some shooting.
I hope to clean the .22's I plan on taking this evening and I will be picking up a couple of big boxes of .22 ammunition on my way to shoot. I will begin stocking up on those, buying perhaps a thousand or two a month for the next three to five months. They are not dirt cheap anymore, usually running at $20 for 400 to 500. I think 10k .22 bullets is very doable. I will check my .45 ammunition, but I think I have at least 2k of those. I have about 15 to 20 boxes of various shotgun shells (could use more 00 buck, but that is really pricey). And I need a lot more AK ammo. In a pinch, the AK would take a deer, even an elk or a moose I would guess.
The next long term planning material would probably be heritage seed. There are heritage seed bulk packages, which would be nice if I had several thousand dollars sitting in my back pocket. I think I can buy heritage seeds locally, by the packet, and store them more manageable. I suspect I will pay more over time, buying them piecemeal (unless I find some great sales), but that is the reality of what I can do. Plus, I can pick things I think I like or want more than just taking what is given in a big packet.
I would like to work on making the house more secure, but that is probably beyond my finances. Building materials are pricey. Wood seems cheap enough until you get around to figuring out how much you really need, then adding that up. Doors are pricey, great doors cost a goodly bit. And, I still have to figure out the hen house roofing, if needed. I have the wasp spray, so I will be visiting that whole notion and place soon.
My preparations are eclectic. Bits here, parts there, gear here, some of it in complete sets, some of it only partially collected, an odd collection of dehydrated and storable food, with some cans thrown in for added complication of thought. I do what I can, when I can, as I can afford it, over time. And yet I live in a modern working world (for the time being) and give my nod to some of that. It is simply as good as I can do, with what I have, according to my finances, state of mind, and organizational skills.
I must admit, I thought as soon as I had a home and storage space, preparations would suddenly spring to life and it would all make sense. It simply does not work that way. Some things I have purchased will be fantastic, like shovels, rakes, trowels, and other tools. Other things will not work well, or at all possibly. Who needs a television if cable does not exist? Why have a water softener or reverse osmosis system if the municipal water system fails, or electricity does not run (for the softener)? I simply do not know. Will I be caught pretty much flat footed? That is not a serious question, as actually who will not be caught in such a state?
I seriously wonder though, about preparation. Much like the tests in engineering, those who study seem to get better grades. Cool, really. But I knew then as I know now and about this... what happens on a test with predesigned material does not carry into understanding or function, not in academics or the more the real world. Many of those kids who, initially, got better grades... after talking with them later... I realized they knew nothing about the math or physics they just got a good grade on. They simply stamped enough problems into their head that they could get a good grade. Same goes here. It will not, completely, be based on what you have. Survival will be based on your ability to use what you have, to function with what you have learned, and to face hardships you cannot imagine.
I have faced hardship, I have been tested, but I am weak in some areas and my goods are a bit light. Even for those who have everything else, the one thing this survivor of several deaths knows is, there is something inside, something that will be tested every time I approach that anomaly. Call it the psychic ability to survive a bullet. Many, even among the most ardent, will fail here. It does not have to be a bullet. It is not a conscious choice. It might well simply be an ability. It could simply be the flat realization that we will have to carry water every day for the rest of our lives, that we will have to plant our food and hope for no hail but plenty of rain at the right times, that the outdoors is our bathroom for the rest of our lives, and that everything we have known up to this point is gone. Those people we knew in California, Iowa, Ohio, and Florida... we will not know if they survived. And we will probably never see or hear from them again. Family, friends, associates... effectively gone. Are you sure you are prepared? I must admit, I almost wish I knew I could not handle that 'bullet'. But I already know I can, so I best get to preparing.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
An easy enough day.
.
.
I could not find the information regarding whoever inspected the electrical system here. I will call my broker tomorrow and see if they have his name or know where I could locate it. They may refer me to the finance company, though that is more dubious if so than I care to contemplate. I will look through more paperwork tonight, though I have little hope of finding it myself. There is too much paperwork, most of it just finance related.
I trimmed the last parts of the tree. I decided that having branches hanging low will not really help me in any way. I can see just as well how that grows as is. Another group of large branches went on the large pile in the back yard. I also finished raking the larger side yard. I am not sure what to do what I have raked nor the large pile of branches. The city does not allow burning in the fall, as I had hoped. Some of these branches are the size of small trees. I will figure this out.
I also made it to town and picked up my order at the butcher shop. It looks good. The package I ordered has odd things in it. I suppose I will figure these things out too. I did not think about it this time, but next time I will take in a list of some of their regular meats and some things I prefer and see if we can set up a package system a bit more customized. I took my friend with me, and we went to Wal-Mart for a few minor things. I also picked up some smaller gardening items, a mini spade and rake and some wasp spray. We stopped for a sandwich at our favorite spot and I bought a couple of loaves of bread, dark rye and something they call "Montana" wheat (it has pumpkin, sunflower, and other seeds in it).
Arriving home, I let Sam out. I have not seen her since all day. Usually she comes around if I go out and do work. I finished raking, trimmed the tree, and sat out there all at separate times, but she simply did not show up. I may have to not allow her out until her and Sassy figure their world out. I actually fear that Sam will simply run away.
I had some of the beans I cooked today served with a small amount of whole whipping cream, a few small slices of buttered rye, and a glass of milk. I can now get back on my new diet (more really my new way of eating). I will cook up some rice tonight and begin the wheat berry system again. Eating grains and beans or legumes for breakfast and lunch (or more if I can get to that) and saving meats for the evening should see me in better shape sooner than not. This year I will not have many vegetables to add to my meals, but next year should see more of that. A bit at a time I suppose.
It is odd having television back. There were some things I missed. The cooking channels for one, and news channels as well. Though commercials and politically correct picks (all the blacks all the time) are things I definitely do not miss. I see they are becoming more politically correct than ever. The other thing I do like is having a means of watching movies and studying some of my review DVDs. I will begin going over some of the math material, and perhaps physics, soon. As reading is the primary skill to learn any other skill, math is the primary skill for learning and performing any hard science. Mathematics is primal to the things I have an interest in studying and doing. I may be doing this all for nothing. Or I may turn around and find my way into a whole new world as my more mundane world expands and I bloom. Who knows.
Enough for today. I think I will watch a movie, check for Sam from time to time, and go to bed a bit early tonight. Tomorrow I hope to move the pile of dirt in the back yard and see where I can get with the weed whip around the fenced in area in back. I cannot quite call it a back yard as it is alfalfa. Anyway, that and vacuuming will see to what I want to complete for the house. Finding the electrician and checking into getting the rebate for the purchase of the house will be my business work.
I have been praying almost every night again. It is a good thing. It has helped me to maintain celibacy much more sharply as well. Praying simply does something so good that I do not understand why I do not always do it. Though I know the answer to that, to a degree, as well. Good night.
.
I could not find the information regarding whoever inspected the electrical system here. I will call my broker tomorrow and see if they have his name or know where I could locate it. They may refer me to the finance company, though that is more dubious if so than I care to contemplate. I will look through more paperwork tonight, though I have little hope of finding it myself. There is too much paperwork, most of it just finance related.
I trimmed the last parts of the tree. I decided that having branches hanging low will not really help me in any way. I can see just as well how that grows as is. Another group of large branches went on the large pile in the back yard. I also finished raking the larger side yard. I am not sure what to do what I have raked nor the large pile of branches. The city does not allow burning in the fall, as I had hoped. Some of these branches are the size of small trees. I will figure this out.
I also made it to town and picked up my order at the butcher shop. It looks good. The package I ordered has odd things in it. I suppose I will figure these things out too. I did not think about it this time, but next time I will take in a list of some of their regular meats and some things I prefer and see if we can set up a package system a bit more customized. I took my friend with me, and we went to Wal-Mart for a few minor things. I also picked up some smaller gardening items, a mini spade and rake and some wasp spray. We stopped for a sandwich at our favorite spot and I bought a couple of loaves of bread, dark rye and something they call "Montana" wheat (it has pumpkin, sunflower, and other seeds in it).
Arriving home, I let Sam out. I have not seen her since all day. Usually she comes around if I go out and do work. I finished raking, trimmed the tree, and sat out there all at separate times, but she simply did not show up. I may have to not allow her out until her and Sassy figure their world out. I actually fear that Sam will simply run away.
I had some of the beans I cooked today served with a small amount of whole whipping cream, a few small slices of buttered rye, and a glass of milk. I can now get back on my new diet (more really my new way of eating). I will cook up some rice tonight and begin the wheat berry system again. Eating grains and beans or legumes for breakfast and lunch (or more if I can get to that) and saving meats for the evening should see me in better shape sooner than not. This year I will not have many vegetables to add to my meals, but next year should see more of that. A bit at a time I suppose.
It is odd having television back. There were some things I missed. The cooking channels for one, and news channels as well. Though commercials and politically correct picks (all the blacks all the time) are things I definitely do not miss. I see they are becoming more politically correct than ever. The other thing I do like is having a means of watching movies and studying some of my review DVDs. I will begin going over some of the math material, and perhaps physics, soon. As reading is the primary skill to learn any other skill, math is the primary skill for learning and performing any hard science. Mathematics is primal to the things I have an interest in studying and doing. I may be doing this all for nothing. Or I may turn around and find my way into a whole new world as my more mundane world expands and I bloom. Who knows.
Enough for today. I think I will watch a movie, check for Sam from time to time, and go to bed a bit early tonight. Tomorrow I hope to move the pile of dirt in the back yard and see where I can get with the weed whip around the fenced in area in back. I cannot quite call it a back yard as it is alfalfa. Anyway, that and vacuuming will see to what I want to complete for the house. Finding the electrician and checking into getting the rebate for the purchase of the house will be my business work.
I have been praying almost every night again. It is a good thing. It has helped me to maintain celibacy much more sharply as well. Praying simply does something so good that I do not understand why I do not always do it. Though I know the answer to that, to a degree, as well. Good night.
Brutal.
.
.
I took my mother to the airport Monday morning. She cried when leaving, but I was good... there. We had a really good last few days. Both of us were beyond exhausted but well behaved. *grins* We can both get grumpy when beyond ourselves but did well this time, all throughout the visit. Biting lips and keeping our thoughts limited to simply noting we had differences. And, yes, I like it that way. My health probably demands it. This was a perfect visit, with or without the work. The work completed simply adds to a great time in a fantastic way.
On the way, we visited Antelope Island out on the Great Salt Lake. We saw several bison, and took a few pictures. She had asked that I get out and take pictures and I used my male dominance to put that idea cleanly out of reality. I am big, strong in ways, and ugly. Against these things I am a rag doll. Beyond, one of the bulls was already pawing the ground, creating little dust devils, letting those of us picture parking know that we were close enough. The island is huge. I thought it would be more like 3 miles by 8 miles and I would guess it was more like 3-5 by 15 miles or more. I ought to check sometime, out of curiosity.
Once she was delivered, and I returned home, I sure felt lonely. Sam kept "asking" for her too. Sassy had no comment, but I do not think Sassy even knows quite yet that she has a tail. She is still very much a baby. She is 4 months old, though I think she is an immature 4 months. She may be a little slow, due to size? Anyway, home seemed pretty empty. I will figure this out and get back to normal soon. Beyond an empty house, I am very tired. Sam, for the first time ever, has pooped other than in her sandbox. She simply would not go out of my room because of Sassy I think, as I keep my door open. They each have their own boxes, food, and water so it is not that so much. I will either have to put Sam's box in my bathroom or... put the two in the big bathroom until they sort things out, making sure Sassy has a safe place to hide if needed??? I simply am not sure how to do this, but I will not allow Sam to do what she did again.
When I returned home, however, I took a quick shower, raked a part of the lawn as we have been having wind storms and branches and twigs have been falling in large numbers. I did that until it was nearly time to go to my appointment. I tried to call my friend, but he was not at home so I simply returned home. I wanted to finish the raking, I am about half way done, but took a nap instead. And then I just relaxed the rest of the night. I did put beans to soak for the night as one last task before going to bed at 23:00.
I did not set my alarm for this morning, thinking I might need a little more sleep. I woke at about 8:15, thinking I had well and truly slept in. I have several things to do on my list today, so I worried a bit at first. It is a slow day and will not quicken to be sure. I have let Sam out. I will have to manually bring her in though, for a while, or she will not come in. She fears or hates or dislikes Sassy at this point and so will not just come in. I have put the beans on to cook and will cook rice a bit later still. I think I have one more bag of bahatma brown rice, which they say is whole grain. Then I will go to the actual long and short grain brown rices. I need to go to town to pick up a butcher shop order, see if my friend is around and do something with him, and try to sort out some business needs. It seems I will have to get a paper filled out for the insurance company regarding the electrical updates and such of this house. I am hoping the electrician who signed off on the house for the V.A. inspection will sign off on this too, with minimal costs. Otherwise this added inspection for insurance purposes might end up being expensive.
On a personal level, I need to figure out how to reset my life. I handed it over to my mother, along with the list of things to be done, and she did what she saw fit with both for the duration of her visit. I am exhausted, true, but I find that taking down time is not good. It gets nothing done, it only seems to exacerbate the sensation of being tired, it is a worthless event unless my actual structure... my muscles, mind, and body in general, have been pushed too much. Even then it should be short and sweet. So, while assessing how much and what sort of down time I need, I will also be doing little things. The raking will be completed as time allows, the weeding will go on, now that I have a wheelbarrow I can begin moving the mounds of dirt, and of course daily care. Sweeping and vacuuming, dishes, cooking, and simply picking things up. Now that my house is a home, I really intend to keep the place suitable for visitors even should they simply appear. Beyond that, I will be keeping myself presentable to visitors from 8:00 on. Well, that is the theory.
My list of things to do has to be reset. The sky is the limit, the reassessment could include anything some of which I will have to figure out or learn, and that is where I sit. Hmm, of course what is listed, but also the hen house and an exploration of costs and work needed for rabbit housing, upkeep, and such. Beyond that, I simply do not know. Oh, some of a list of household chores was created before my mother left. I purchased a small calendar book and have filled that in until middle or late September. At some point, these things might become more automatic and a calendar might not be needed. For now though, all of my daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, etc. tasks will go in there. I am sure, too, as time goes by, more will be added (sweeping the walkways, for example... weekly plus for events?).
Yes, but right now I am lost in exhaustion, confusion about what to do, and some sense of dread about some of the things left to do (filing for the house purchase rebate). I am hoping to clear as much of the dreaded work this week and doing bits and pieces of those other listed items, the scheduled items, and just living. This is all brand new to me. Frankenstein in his own home? Yes, I suppose. Still mostly dead but that is where I am and where it is. Well, the beans are about to need stirred, I need a shower and to make a call, and then I need to review the book given to me upon purchase of the home in order to find the electrician who did the inspection.
Good day.
.
I took my mother to the airport Monday morning. She cried when leaving, but I was good... there. We had a really good last few days. Both of us were beyond exhausted but well behaved. *grins* We can both get grumpy when beyond ourselves but did well this time, all throughout the visit. Biting lips and keeping our thoughts limited to simply noting we had differences. And, yes, I like it that way. My health probably demands it. This was a perfect visit, with or without the work. The work completed simply adds to a great time in a fantastic way.
On the way, we visited Antelope Island out on the Great Salt Lake. We saw several bison, and took a few pictures. She had asked that I get out and take pictures and I used my male dominance to put that idea cleanly out of reality. I am big, strong in ways, and ugly. Against these things I am a rag doll. Beyond, one of the bulls was already pawing the ground, creating little dust devils, letting those of us picture parking know that we were close enough. The island is huge. I thought it would be more like 3 miles by 8 miles and I would guess it was more like 3-5 by 15 miles or more. I ought to check sometime, out of curiosity.
Once she was delivered, and I returned home, I sure felt lonely. Sam kept "asking" for her too. Sassy had no comment, but I do not think Sassy even knows quite yet that she has a tail. She is still very much a baby. She is 4 months old, though I think she is an immature 4 months. She may be a little slow, due to size? Anyway, home seemed pretty empty. I will figure this out and get back to normal soon. Beyond an empty house, I am very tired. Sam, for the first time ever, has pooped other than in her sandbox. She simply would not go out of my room because of Sassy I think, as I keep my door open. They each have their own boxes, food, and water so it is not that so much. I will either have to put Sam's box in my bathroom or... put the two in the big bathroom until they sort things out, making sure Sassy has a safe place to hide if needed??? I simply am not sure how to do this, but I will not allow Sam to do what she did again.
When I returned home, however, I took a quick shower, raked a part of the lawn as we have been having wind storms and branches and twigs have been falling in large numbers. I did that until it was nearly time to go to my appointment. I tried to call my friend, but he was not at home so I simply returned home. I wanted to finish the raking, I am about half way done, but took a nap instead. And then I just relaxed the rest of the night. I did put beans to soak for the night as one last task before going to bed at 23:00.
I did not set my alarm for this morning, thinking I might need a little more sleep. I woke at about 8:15, thinking I had well and truly slept in. I have several things to do on my list today, so I worried a bit at first. It is a slow day and will not quicken to be sure. I have let Sam out. I will have to manually bring her in though, for a while, or she will not come in. She fears or hates or dislikes Sassy at this point and so will not just come in. I have put the beans on to cook and will cook rice a bit later still. I think I have one more bag of bahatma brown rice, which they say is whole grain. Then I will go to the actual long and short grain brown rices. I need to go to town to pick up a butcher shop order, see if my friend is around and do something with him, and try to sort out some business needs. It seems I will have to get a paper filled out for the insurance company regarding the electrical updates and such of this house. I am hoping the electrician who signed off on the house for the V.A. inspection will sign off on this too, with minimal costs. Otherwise this added inspection for insurance purposes might end up being expensive.
On a personal level, I need to figure out how to reset my life. I handed it over to my mother, along with the list of things to be done, and she did what she saw fit with both for the duration of her visit. I am exhausted, true, but I find that taking down time is not good. It gets nothing done, it only seems to exacerbate the sensation of being tired, it is a worthless event unless my actual structure... my muscles, mind, and body in general, have been pushed too much. Even then it should be short and sweet. So, while assessing how much and what sort of down time I need, I will also be doing little things. The raking will be completed as time allows, the weeding will go on, now that I have a wheelbarrow I can begin moving the mounds of dirt, and of course daily care. Sweeping and vacuuming, dishes, cooking, and simply picking things up. Now that my house is a home, I really intend to keep the place suitable for visitors even should they simply appear. Beyond that, I will be keeping myself presentable to visitors from 8:00 on. Well, that is the theory.
My list of things to do has to be reset. The sky is the limit, the reassessment could include anything some of which I will have to figure out or learn, and that is where I sit. Hmm, of course what is listed, but also the hen house and an exploration of costs and work needed for rabbit housing, upkeep, and such. Beyond that, I simply do not know. Oh, some of a list of household chores was created before my mother left. I purchased a small calendar book and have filled that in until middle or late September. At some point, these things might become more automatic and a calendar might not be needed. For now though, all of my daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, etc. tasks will go in there. I am sure, too, as time goes by, more will be added (sweeping the walkways, for example... weekly plus for events?).
Yes, but right now I am lost in exhaustion, confusion about what to do, and some sense of dread about some of the things left to do (filing for the house purchase rebate). I am hoping to clear as much of the dreaded work this week and doing bits and pieces of those other listed items, the scheduled items, and just living. This is all brand new to me. Frankenstein in his own home? Yes, I suppose. Still mostly dead but that is where I am and where it is. Well, the beans are about to need stirred, I need a shower and to make a call, and then I need to review the book given to me upon purchase of the home in order to find the electrician who did the inspection.
Good day.
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