Brutal.

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I took my mother to the airport Monday morning. She cried when leaving, but I was good... there. We had a really good last few days. Both of us were beyond exhausted but well behaved. *grins* We can both get grumpy when beyond ourselves but did well this time, all throughout the visit. Biting lips and keeping our thoughts limited to simply noting we had differences. And, yes, I like it that way. My health probably demands it. This was a perfect visit, with or without the work. The work completed simply adds to a great time in a fantastic way.

On the way, we visited Antelope Island out on the Great Salt Lake. We saw several bison, and took a few pictures. She had asked that I get out and take pictures and I used my male dominance to put that idea cleanly out of reality. I am big, strong in ways, and ugly. Against these things I am a rag doll. Beyond, one of the bulls was already pawing the ground, creating little dust devils, letting those of us picture parking know that we were close enough. The island is huge. I thought it would be more like 3 miles by 8 miles and I would guess it was more like 3-5 by 15 miles or more. I ought to check sometime, out of curiosity.

Once she was delivered, and I returned home, I sure felt lonely. Sam kept "asking" for her too. Sassy had no comment, but I do not think Sassy even knows quite yet that she has a tail. She is still very much a baby. She is 4 months old, though I think she is an immature 4 months. She may be a little slow, due to size? Anyway, home seemed pretty empty. I will figure this out and get back to normal soon. Beyond an empty house, I am very tired. Sam, for the first time ever, has pooped other than in her sandbox. She simply would not go out of my room because of Sassy I think, as I keep my door open. They each have their own boxes, food, and water so it is not that so much. I will either have to put Sam's box in my bathroom or... put the two in the big bathroom until they sort things out, making sure Sassy has a safe place to hide if needed??? I simply am not sure how to do this, but I will not allow Sam to do what she did again.

When I returned home, however, I took a quick shower, raked a part of the lawn as we have been having wind storms and branches and twigs have been falling in large numbers. I did that until it was nearly time to go to my appointment. I tried to call my friend, but he was not at home so I simply returned home. I wanted to finish the raking, I am about half way done, but took a nap instead. And then I just relaxed the rest of the night. I did put beans to soak for the night as one last task before going to bed at 23:00.

I did not set my alarm for this morning, thinking I might need a little more sleep. I woke at about 8:15, thinking I had well and truly slept in. I have several things to do on my list today, so I worried a bit at first. It is a slow day and will not quicken to be sure. I have let Sam out. I will have to manually bring her in though, for a while, or she will not come in. She fears or hates or dislikes Sassy at this point and so will not just come in. I have put the beans on to cook and will cook rice a bit later still. I think I have one more bag of bahatma brown rice, which they say is whole grain. Then I will go to the actual long and short grain brown rices. I need to go to town to pick up a butcher shop order, see if my friend is around and do something with him, and try to sort out some business needs. It seems I will have to get a paper filled out for the insurance company regarding the electrical updates and such of this house. I am hoping the electrician who signed off on the house for the V.A. inspection will sign off on this too, with minimal costs. Otherwise this added inspection for insurance purposes might end up being expensive.

On a personal level, I need to figure out how to reset my life. I handed it over to my mother, along with the list of things to be done, and she did what she saw fit with both for the duration of her visit. I am exhausted, true, but I find that taking down time is not good. It gets nothing done, it only seems to exacerbate the sensation of being tired, it is a worthless event unless my actual structure... my muscles, mind, and body in general, have been pushed too much. Even then it should be short and sweet. So, while assessing how much and what sort of down time I need, I will also be doing little things. The raking will be completed as time allows, the weeding will go on, now that I have a wheelbarrow I can begin moving the mounds of dirt, and of course daily care. Sweeping and vacuuming, dishes, cooking, and simply picking things up. Now that my house is a home, I really intend to keep the place suitable for visitors even should they simply appear. Beyond that, I will be keeping myself presentable to visitors from 8:00 on. Well, that is the theory.

My list of things to do has to be reset. The sky is the limit, the reassessment could include anything some of which I will have to figure out or learn, and that is where I sit. Hmm, of course what is listed, but also the hen house and an exploration of costs and work needed for rabbit housing, upkeep, and such. Beyond that, I simply do not know. Oh, some of a list of household chores was created before my mother left. I purchased a small calendar book and have filled that in until middle or late September. At some point, these things might become more automatic and a calendar might not be needed. For now though, all of my daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, etc. tasks will go in there. I am sure, too, as time goes by, more will be added (sweeping the walkways, for example... weekly plus for events?).

Yes, but right now I am lost in exhaustion, confusion about what to do, and some sense of dread about some of the things left to do (filing for the house purchase rebate). I am hoping to clear as much of the dreaded work this week and doing bits and pieces of those other listed items, the scheduled items, and just living. This is all brand new to me. Frankenstein in his own home? Yes, I suppose. Still mostly dead but that is where I am and where it is. Well, the beans are about to need stirred, I need a shower and to make a call, and then I need to review the book given to me upon purchase of the home in order to find the electrician who did the inspection.

Good day.