I must admit, it is getting a little hairy out here. I am too vested in my vacation to call it off, but it was a consideration. Honestly, I am not sure I would be much help. Simply by not being a consumer during the thing might actually be more helpful than any amount of work I might do.
The sandbagging might help slow things down and allow people to make some choices or such, but honestly, I have doubt as to the good that does. Though, it does keep people from feeling helpless, and puts the young to doing some "good" rather than having them feeling new feelings and having too much free time. Call me a cynic, and doubt my words, but I watched the sandbag troops lose time and again, with little or no real affect, and so fast it was silly. Oh, and some may have lost their vehicles, parked as many as ten blocks away, when some sandbag levy or other was breeched. As well, with traffic as it is... well, you get the point.
I am trying to get everything ready and get myself out as soon as possible. The crest is not even planned to hit until Tuesday (if we do not receive more rain, which as I speak... yes, it is raining, soon to be quite heavily). I am actually a bit worried about actually being able to leave the area! I-80 is being shut down to the east, I-360 is being shut down to the north, and Des Moines (to the west on I-80) seems to be having trouble all it's own.
I could go to my mother's home, but that would add 500 to 600 miles to my trip. Gas being what it is, I am nervous. Now, I cannot leave until at least Monday, as I have to get everything cleaned, sorted, and properly packed (there is one more delivery, if it gets here!). I am hoping to head out Monday night, so as to be somewhere Tuesday by mid-day. I might have to see if my foster mother would allow me to stay a bit early, then stop through on my way home again. But it would be weird to stop for a day and a half, then come back later. It just seems tacky? Yes, we need more time to talk on our first visit in 15 or more years.
Perhaps an email query is in order... Wish me... *gurgle* luck?
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The Flood of ’08.
Perhaps you are hearing about flooding in Cedar Rapids, Iowa? That city is directly to the north of where I live, between 20 and 30 miles away. The condition is not getting better. Every time they have suggested a crest level, they come back in an hour, or even half hour, and suggest an even higher crest. It stands at a 24.7 feet crest, though it has been suggested that the crest will actually be well over 25 feet. The dam between there and here is, from the last I heard, three foot over the dam overflow. Parts of Iowa City are also under water, and that will only get worse.
I am fine where I am, and my mother is fine were she is. Everyone I know, locally, is in good shape as well. I had considered setting my vacation aside and helping, but I do not think there is much I can do. To put it bluntly, the river is tied to the rain, and that is not in my hands. All the bagging, to date, seems to have lost the race. Perhaps the process has slowed the flooding, however, giving people time to get out or make preparations for the flooding. It is still raining, here and there.
The spiders which lived outside have started entering my house. I have seen three or four of them, and I believe I found one on my arm this morning. I felt something and thought it was just a “nothing”. But it tickled so I brushed… a spider! I think, especially after seeing the other three. It got partially crushed and then tossed, while I was hoping I did not get bit. I never did find it, so it must be rather tough. And, it was 4:00 so that I had no light, initially, to see what it was. These things are larger around than a quarter, but not quite a 50 cent piece, and hairy. Now, I like spiders. Beyond that they eat other bugs, are fine predators, and generally leave me alone unless I am really hungry (or something like that), I will not shoo them out, if I also will not welcome them into my bed. Women are bad enough to do that with (and they are more predatory, and can be hairier... sort of).
As I said, there is not very much I can actually do. The river is set to rise up to 3 more feet. So, I ready my gear, watch, finish a few plans, and pray. I still have much to do, some of it for the trip, some of it for school, and several personal issues to manage. I am hoping Colorado is not getting snow like we are getting rain. In certain places, we might not even receive that news, as it is so sparsely populated. In any case, I will be avoiding going out unless I really need to do so. I need to be to church and to the grocery store, but unless I need to visit an academic councilor, that is it. Wow, I just thought, I might have to take the interstate to get around to the councilor, as I am not sure about the regular bridges over the river.
Oh, and now we are under a tornado watch until 20:00 tonight.
I am fine where I am, and my mother is fine were she is. Everyone I know, locally, is in good shape as well. I had considered setting my vacation aside and helping, but I do not think there is much I can do. To put it bluntly, the river is tied to the rain, and that is not in my hands. All the bagging, to date, seems to have lost the race. Perhaps the process has slowed the flooding, however, giving people time to get out or make preparations for the flooding. It is still raining, here and there.
The spiders which lived outside have started entering my house. I have seen three or four of them, and I believe I found one on my arm this morning. I felt something and thought it was just a “nothing”. But it tickled so I brushed… a spider! I think, especially after seeing the other three. It got partially crushed and then tossed, while I was hoping I did not get bit. I never did find it, so it must be rather tough. And, it was 4:00 so that I had no light, initially, to see what it was. These things are larger around than a quarter, but not quite a 50 cent piece, and hairy. Now, I like spiders. Beyond that they eat other bugs, are fine predators, and generally leave me alone unless I am really hungry (or something like that), I will not shoo them out, if I also will not welcome them into my bed. Women are bad enough to do that with (and they are more predatory, and can be hairier... sort of).
As I said, there is not very much I can actually do. The river is set to rise up to 3 more feet. So, I ready my gear, watch, finish a few plans, and pray. I still have much to do, some of it for the trip, some of it for school, and several personal issues to manage. I am hoping Colorado is not getting snow like we are getting rain. In certain places, we might not even receive that news, as it is so sparsely populated. In any case, I will be avoiding going out unless I really need to do so. I need to be to church and to the grocery store, but unless I need to visit an academic councilor, that is it. Wow, I just thought, I might have to take the interstate to get around to the councilor, as I am not sure about the regular bridges over the river.
Oh, and now we are under a tornado watch until 20:00 tonight.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Grumpy.
I am not sure why, but I am grumpy today. I did go to bed very late and still get up early, that might be it. I was fine while doing my small part in straightening up the place, then I had a bit to eat. I had some things planned for this afternoon, but much of it was put on hold. I had almost forgotten about an appointment today. I just barely made the appointment, barely counts. This was a specialist in a clinic I have visited a time or two, but the doctor was new. I hope I do not need their services in the future. This doctor could not have been more disinterested, he looks to be about 18, and he has little capacity beyond any knowledge he may or may not have regarding bedside manners. Personally, I doubt if he is brilliant, so he needs to take a step back and find some humility. Doctors like that get in trouble, quickly, at the V.A.
Anyway, that pretty much ended most of what I was going to do. I did return the package I had prepared last night and I managed my finances as well. I also checked about my last order as was given the good news saying it should be here by Saturday or Monday. I was not able to call the guidance councilor back or do any of the remaining list. Laundry goes on, sorting and figuring is occurring, but that is it. Oh, I had best do my exercises. They are fun to do, really.
I received several messages while I was at the hospital. Since I am unable to take a call during an appointment, in class, at church, or anywhere important or with certain people, my phone was not with me. The bible study has been canceled for two weeks. I will not be here then, so I need to call back about that. And, as I suspected, my lady friend will not be canoeing this 14th. They are, however, falling back to an alternative date. God willing, she may yet get to enjoy a canoe trip, if she can rearrange her vacation time at work that is. I think she can though, she can be assertive and feisty if she needs to be.
I actually am writing this post because, while reading someone else’s post, I got an idea. Mr. Kim du Toit discussed going to the NRA National Convention next year. And, though it seems he may not be able to go, I have considered the proposal! As my life is changing, I am wondering if I am now able to begin planning for things, a year, two, and even several years out. I would need to begin arranging my wardrobe so that I have reasonable attire, but first I would have to decide what my clothing selection should be. Engineering is rather conservative, so multi-tasking might be the way to go. Therefore suits, sport coats, slacks, and such might be it. Those clothes are expensive, I really do not like them, but it is probably a requirement. And, one of the main things I am learning in rehabilitation is… it’s not all about me. Or more, very little of the world is about me or my wants. If I want to succeed, I will need to give up and do what I am told, wear what I should, quit asking and debating when given tasks except to gain definition, for relevant inquirery, and getting things done rather than failing and providing excuses why things are not done. So, clothing is back as an issue. As is having a potential future.
Is the NRA National Convention next year in my schedule? I do not know, but I do mean to look into it. Money, of course, is a concern. Scheduling, considering my summer courses (if available) and white-water excursion, and who knows what else. I would like to get more involved, but where, with which groups, and how deeply is yet to be determined. The Knights of Columbus is also weighing on my mind. One thing at a time. I am going to see what is planned next year for the NRA while I am doing other tasks this evening. It is time to begin the rest of my new life.
Anyway, that pretty much ended most of what I was going to do. I did return the package I had prepared last night and I managed my finances as well. I also checked about my last order as was given the good news saying it should be here by Saturday or Monday. I was not able to call the guidance councilor back or do any of the remaining list. Laundry goes on, sorting and figuring is occurring, but that is it. Oh, I had best do my exercises. They are fun to do, really.
I received several messages while I was at the hospital. Since I am unable to take a call during an appointment, in class, at church, or anywhere important or with certain people, my phone was not with me. The bible study has been canceled for two weeks. I will not be here then, so I need to call back about that. And, as I suspected, my lady friend will not be canoeing this 14th. They are, however, falling back to an alternative date. God willing, she may yet get to enjoy a canoe trip, if she can rearrange her vacation time at work that is. I think she can though, she can be assertive and feisty if she needs to be.
I actually am writing this post because, while reading someone else’s post, I got an idea. Mr. Kim du Toit discussed going to the NRA National Convention next year. And, though it seems he may not be able to go, I have considered the proposal! As my life is changing, I am wondering if I am now able to begin planning for things, a year, two, and even several years out. I would need to begin arranging my wardrobe so that I have reasonable attire, but first I would have to decide what my clothing selection should be. Engineering is rather conservative, so multi-tasking might be the way to go. Therefore suits, sport coats, slacks, and such might be it. Those clothes are expensive, I really do not like them, but it is probably a requirement. And, one of the main things I am learning in rehabilitation is… it’s not all about me. Or more, very little of the world is about me or my wants. If I want to succeed, I will need to give up and do what I am told, wear what I should, quit asking and debating when given tasks except to gain definition, for relevant inquirery, and getting things done rather than failing and providing excuses why things are not done. So, clothing is back as an issue. As is having a potential future.
Is the NRA National Convention next year in my schedule? I do not know, but I do mean to look into it. Money, of course, is a concern. Scheduling, considering my summer courses (if available) and white-water excursion, and who knows what else. I would like to get more involved, but where, with which groups, and how deeply is yet to be determined. The Knights of Columbus is also weighing on my mind. One thing at a time. I am going to see what is planned next year for the NRA while I am doing other tasks this evening. It is time to begin the rest of my new life.
Oh, some things make me happy.
I have been thinking about buying a bike. I do not know when I could afford one, or even exactly how much one would cost. Weighing in at 300 and being 6’4” complicates every thing I do. Even If I lost 50 pounds, I am still huge. I have had it suggested that a mountain bike in the $500 plus range would be minimal for my needs. Beyond that, I know nothing. In any case, I still do not like many bikers. Their willingness to cheat in traffic, to ride outside of their allotted space or in places they really should not be (if it is 35 (mph or more) they should not survive), and to be rude about it, develops no small animosity. I, of course, hope that as a biker, I would be courteous, perhaps even limiting my riding to trails just for that.
I read this article. As I read the title, I became excited, perhaps even giddy. My little devil inside was having a field day. The more I read, the more I giggled and chortled, enjoying the carnage to no small degree. Then the thing culminated into an explosion of laughter. I can only say I believe I purchased the correct vehicle. Whether it is attitude or fate, the type of people who share my interest in vehicles seems to have been exposed in the article. It is a grave thing, but I think I can handle it. *nudge, nudge*
Yeah, so sue me. Everyone has their little “things”. I also thing some people should be neutered. Of course, feminism does that to some degree anyway. They are secular nuns, atheist type women who can do anything sexually except multiply (either use of that last term, actually). Socialism, communism, and feminism all do that, one way or another. Pick your genocide, folks, and just pay at the door and enter whichever tent you think looks the best. I cannot be sure but that that is for the best, minus those who had no voice. I no longer have a voice in this country. No longer even on the ballot through the candidates are the following issues: gorebal warbling, “gun control”, abortion, US sovereignty, and a host of others as both parties are leftist on these issues. The cool thing is, the first people to be killed by the people who kill are the people who advocate the killers with lies of a false hope of government charity and control. Intellectuals, minorities, poorly taught Christians, homosexuals, liberals and progressives (the pool shrinks, those of the “faith” not in power are a threat, more so than those not in the “party”, so “liberals” eat their own, first). How close is the final solution, here?
I read this article. As I read the title, I became excited, perhaps even giddy. My little devil inside was having a field day. The more I read, the more I giggled and chortled, enjoying the carnage to no small degree. Then the thing culminated into an explosion of laughter. I can only say I believe I purchased the correct vehicle. Whether it is attitude or fate, the type of people who share my interest in vehicles seems to have been exposed in the article. It is a grave thing, but I think I can handle it. *nudge, nudge*
Yeah, so sue me. Everyone has their little “things”. I also thing some people should be neutered. Of course, feminism does that to some degree anyway. They are secular nuns, atheist type women who can do anything sexually except multiply (either use of that last term, actually). Socialism, communism, and feminism all do that, one way or another. Pick your genocide, folks, and just pay at the door and enter whichever tent you think looks the best. I cannot be sure but that that is for the best, minus those who had no voice. I no longer have a voice in this country. No longer even on the ballot through the candidates are the following issues: gorebal warbling, “gun control”, abortion, US sovereignty, and a host of others as both parties are leftist on these issues. The cool thing is, the first people to be killed by the people who kill are the people who advocate the killers with lies of a false hope of government charity and control. Intellectuals, minorities, poorly taught Christians, homosexuals, liberals and progressives (the pool shrinks, those of the “faith” not in power are a threat, more so than those not in the “party”, so “liberals” eat their own, first). How close is the final solution, here?
Up early, and at it.
I was able to push myself out of bed by 8:00. I could not remember when my homemaker would be arriving, though I thought it was to be early. Certainly enough, around 9:00 or 9:30, she was here. We cleaned several areas, though only the bathroom was in strong need. Still, I was about to become overwhelmed and I knew it. She does a very good job and she is rather personable.
I am up and going for the day, so I am hoping to knock three things out immediately and see where things go from there. I will be shipping some clothing back, calling the college to check with them but I will give them until 14:00 to contact me first, and I need to call in an order for medications. Anything else that gets completed, started, or has another step finished will be purely incidental.
I am also trying to remember what I am forgetting. What am I forgetting, you might ask. To which I must reply, I do not recall. Every trip for which I have ever prepared has left me feeling unsure, as if I had forgotten something or some things. Whether I have planned well and long or whether I had been required to load and go quickly, I always feel as if I am forgetting something. Lists only help just so much, and my memory is not good enough to reliably go without a list. My memory is actually limited to remembering where the lists are, as even the creation of the lists is developed from the planning someone else has completed (though with my own added development in the works of course).
I have most of the larger things settled, now I am doing some nitpicking. Things like how to pack my backpack are popping up. Where to put these, those, and the other things by weight, need, use, and bulk has become a big thing, being my first packing event and not having more than a book to depend upon. Although, I think I did this a time or two in the service, using an inner frame backpack as well. I will have to see if my ideas match with what I read about packing. Then too, though I will not be fishing for sport, I will be taking line and other fishing kit in a pill bottle. I still do not have the little necessities of survival kit, such as a wire or other saw. I do not have the little other items, like a real first aid kit (though I have some stuff), signal mirror, or storm whistle. Some of that may still be on the way. It is easy to get lost in the thing, so I really need to stay on track at this point. Lists, I tell you, lists.
I am up and going for the day, so I am hoping to knock three things out immediately and see where things go from there. I will be shipping some clothing back, calling the college to check with them but I will give them until 14:00 to contact me first, and I need to call in an order for medications. Anything else that gets completed, started, or has another step finished will be purely incidental.
I am also trying to remember what I am forgetting. What am I forgetting, you might ask. To which I must reply, I do not recall. Every trip for which I have ever prepared has left me feeling unsure, as if I had forgotten something or some things. Whether I have planned well and long or whether I had been required to load and go quickly, I always feel as if I am forgetting something. Lists only help just so much, and my memory is not good enough to reliably go without a list. My memory is actually limited to remembering where the lists are, as even the creation of the lists is developed from the planning someone else has completed (though with my own added development in the works of course).
I have most of the larger things settled, now I am doing some nitpicking. Things like how to pack my backpack are popping up. Where to put these, those, and the other things by weight, need, use, and bulk has become a big thing, being my first packing event and not having more than a book to depend upon. Although, I think I did this a time or two in the service, using an inner frame backpack as well. I will have to see if my ideas match with what I read about packing. Then too, though I will not be fishing for sport, I will be taking line and other fishing kit in a pill bottle. I still do not have the little necessities of survival kit, such as a wire or other saw. I do not have the little other items, like a real first aid kit (though I have some stuff), signal mirror, or storm whistle. Some of that may still be on the way. It is easy to get lost in the thing, so I really need to stay on track at this point. Lists, I tell you, lists.
Up too late, and again.
I have so much to do and as the time approaches, times seems to be roaring past. I went through the two deliveries I received yesterday. Being too busy to get to it yesterday, but feeling the urgency, I tore through it all today. Some of it was simple, some a bit more complex, and some of it required a little mechanical alteration or two. However, I have inventoried my catch, comparing the items to the invoices (and my memory). One thing which was set to be delivered late ended up being in the delivery, and everything I remembered matched the lists, which then matched the products. Call me pleased.
Oh, the farmer john fit well (as well as wetsuits fit). If anything, the arms are a little long. No problem there. My backpack is perfect, holding one hundred liters, it can break apart into a 70 liter main bag with two 15 liter side bags. Those 15 liter bags can be zipped together and clipped into a yoke system (extra, but I have it) into a 30 liter day pack. And though I already had a mummy sleeping bag, I needed extra room. The manufacturer produced something called an extenda panel, which should make life a little more comfortable for me. However, the zippers on the original bag were mechanically locked and would not separate. A little Dremel work, and the thing is done. I have not yet tried the sleeping back, with it’s extension, yet. Give me time, will you? Oh, I also purchased several types of liners for the sleeping bag. One is not for thermal properties, but for cleanliness. The other is for thermal properties, being silk. The rest was clothing, several waterproof panel “seats”, stuff sacks, bag straps, and other lesser if handy items.
Though I cannot turn in the residency form I picked up today, I thought to go ahead and fill it out. A little preparedness now can save a hassle later. While I was checking everything out, trying things on, and such, I also did a very large load of my woolen socks. I save them up so that I have a full load, as I use a detergent and treatment for wool. Both the expense and rarity in that I have to mail order it have lended themselves to a frugal and collective cleaning of these things. Likewise with my silks, they are washed en mass. I have not been using my Gore-tex enough to wash those items collectively, but I think this winter will find that happening too. It is a bit of a pain, but when you realize how much this stuff costs and how much longer it lasts with the correct care, the choice is made for you. Well, for me to be certain.
My home health assistant will be here tomorrow, if she makes it. After two weeks of cancellations and oddities, I am not sure I trust this service. It is what I have, and I know things can become problematic, and it is free to me, but it is a professional service and I do need it to this point.
Wow, freaky deaky, I cannot believe how fast, how much, how simple, and how well. It certainly makes me sad to realize how long I have been lost and how far gone I was. That was then, I do not think I will ever go back that far again. With the simple care I am receiving, I am not sure I can go back. Boom, still a lot of work to do though. And there is a whole world I want to see. I said “Boom” so that I would not fall back in thoughts or jump too far ahead. Boom, again, stay the course. Goodnight!
Oh, the farmer john fit well (as well as wetsuits fit). If anything, the arms are a little long. No problem there. My backpack is perfect, holding one hundred liters, it can break apart into a 70 liter main bag with two 15 liter side bags. Those 15 liter bags can be zipped together and clipped into a yoke system (extra, but I have it) into a 30 liter day pack. And though I already had a mummy sleeping bag, I needed extra room. The manufacturer produced something called an extenda panel, which should make life a little more comfortable for me. However, the zippers on the original bag were mechanically locked and would not separate. A little Dremel work, and the thing is done. I have not yet tried the sleeping back, with it’s extension, yet. Give me time, will you? Oh, I also purchased several types of liners for the sleeping bag. One is not for thermal properties, but for cleanliness. The other is for thermal properties, being silk. The rest was clothing, several waterproof panel “seats”, stuff sacks, bag straps, and other lesser if handy items.
Though I cannot turn in the residency form I picked up today, I thought to go ahead and fill it out. A little preparedness now can save a hassle later. While I was checking everything out, trying things on, and such, I also did a very large load of my woolen socks. I save them up so that I have a full load, as I use a detergent and treatment for wool. Both the expense and rarity in that I have to mail order it have lended themselves to a frugal and collective cleaning of these things. Likewise with my silks, they are washed en mass. I have not been using my Gore-tex enough to wash those items collectively, but I think this winter will find that happening too. It is a bit of a pain, but when you realize how much this stuff costs and how much longer it lasts with the correct care, the choice is made for you. Well, for me to be certain.
My home health assistant will be here tomorrow, if she makes it. After two weeks of cancellations and oddities, I am not sure I trust this service. It is what I have, and I know things can become problematic, and it is free to me, but it is a professional service and I do need it to this point.
Wow, freaky deaky, I cannot believe how fast, how much, how simple, and how well. It certainly makes me sad to realize how long I have been lost and how far gone I was. That was then, I do not think I will ever go back that far again. With the simple care I am receiving, I am not sure I can go back. Boom, still a lot of work to do though. And there is a whole world I want to see. I said “Boom” so that I would not fall back in thoughts or jump too far ahead. Boom, again, stay the course. Goodnight!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Hurry and wait, being out of the service does not change that, if it happens far less often.
I will not tell you I jumped out of bed, sprinted through a detailed grooming and dressing, then pushed my way to the college. Well, I did, but not as early as I had hoped. It was probably 14:30 by the time I parked downtown. I first checked to see if the rehabilitation officer for the U. of Iowa was in his office and available. It just so happened that he was. He could not recall my name, but he recognized me to some degree. As with my particular rehabilitation officer, I had waist length hair the last time this man saw me. As well, though I cannot see a great deal of change from my short workout regimen, between that and my much more active lifestyle together really must make me appear far different. I probably also seem more awake and cogent especially since when I last visited, the high blood pressure medicine had devastated me in those last ways.
Rather than feeling as if I am being dealt with, handled because it is people’s jobs, I am now feeling as if people are pleased to see me and happy to be helping me. I feel as if I am being treated like a prince, not a supplicant (or worse). I even had it suggested that I am young enough to become famous by a man who has dealt with so many people like me for so many years, even when he attempted to then make light of his statement… well, he does not cover well. This from someone who knows I plan on being an engineer! I cannot tell you what that means, nor what it means to me, but I do see it as a very good thing.
I arranged things as well as I could with him. He then advised me as to my next steps. It seemed there would be time to make the next step for sure. So, I did that. There was little to actually do, other than to pick up a form which will indicate that I am still a state citizen so as to gain in-state tuition. I cannot return the form until I am registered, or during that process. With plenty of office hour time remaining, I decided to attempt the final step. I hiked over to the last place, the engineering school proper. I found the main office easily, more so since it is the same room I remembered.
I asked to speak with a woman whose name had been written for me. She was busy with a student and her schedule was full. I suggested I had spoken with another woman this last spring, and I wondered if that might help jump-start the process. I could not remember her name, but the receptionist suggested the right name and I let her know. This other adviser was also with a student and her schedule was likewise full. I asked if the receptionist or either of these woman could at least let me know what paperwork or other action I needed to take next. This was not possible, so my phone number was asked for then added to a note, with my name, and my query.
Remembering how difficult the last two efforts at this went, I believe I will need to attempt to make contact on a daily basis or I will be completely forgotten about. I do not know if they are overworked or if the office is not well coordinated. Then again, it is not their problem. I have to look at everything from a different view to get through things. If I want it, I am going have to go for it and push, pull, or call as often as necessary. I might even have to see some of this in adversarial terms, whether or not “they” are against me, they certainly are not “for me”, or at least it cannot be construed that they are. As I have said, I understand that. If I can do well, very well, I am hoping much of this will change. The truth is, though, some of it will never change. There will always, for many reasons, be those who are against any one of us.
Oh, yes, the second to the last group of gear arrived today. One more order is coming, though I have not heard when I should expect it. Some of this needs to be sorted and tried on then that which does not fit needs to be returned. A little financial work needs to be completed, a bill partially paid, and a final plan needs to be checked on. I cannot believe how well and how close this thing is getting! I am very excited, ready, and pleased. Oh, yes, I would also like to make it to the post office tomorrow and set up a hold on my mail until sometime past the first week into July.
Oh, my friend ended up not arriving the last time she called and suggested bok choy and bacon dinner. It was all good, I did get the kitchen clean (and have kept it that way). She called Monday to see if I could do the same products, but for lunch. As you know, I was meeting with my rehabilitation officer, so that was out. She will be leaving the 14th for a week-long canoe river clean-up vacation. Although, that might not happen. We are having so much rain we are expected to have the highest water statewide that we have ever had. The high water marks in 1993, here in Iowa anyway, was not the record. It was only the second highest water marks. Our nearby dam’s spillway will begin dumping water tomorrow. While we would be happy for some drying out, the South-east and South-west US are just salivating at our loss, in some odd way. So, whether she goes is rather up in the air (actually, it is very dubious).
Rather than feeling as if I am being dealt with, handled because it is people’s jobs, I am now feeling as if people are pleased to see me and happy to be helping me. I feel as if I am being treated like a prince, not a supplicant (or worse). I even had it suggested that I am young enough to become famous by a man who has dealt with so many people like me for so many years, even when he attempted to then make light of his statement… well, he does not cover well. This from someone who knows I plan on being an engineer! I cannot tell you what that means, nor what it means to me, but I do see it as a very good thing.
I arranged things as well as I could with him. He then advised me as to my next steps. It seemed there would be time to make the next step for sure. So, I did that. There was little to actually do, other than to pick up a form which will indicate that I am still a state citizen so as to gain in-state tuition. I cannot return the form until I am registered, or during that process. With plenty of office hour time remaining, I decided to attempt the final step. I hiked over to the last place, the engineering school proper. I found the main office easily, more so since it is the same room I remembered.
I asked to speak with a woman whose name had been written for me. She was busy with a student and her schedule was full. I suggested I had spoken with another woman this last spring, and I wondered if that might help jump-start the process. I could not remember her name, but the receptionist suggested the right name and I let her know. This other adviser was also with a student and her schedule was likewise full. I asked if the receptionist or either of these woman could at least let me know what paperwork or other action I needed to take next. This was not possible, so my phone number was asked for then added to a note, with my name, and my query.
Remembering how difficult the last two efforts at this went, I believe I will need to attempt to make contact on a daily basis or I will be completely forgotten about. I do not know if they are overworked or if the office is not well coordinated. Then again, it is not their problem. I have to look at everything from a different view to get through things. If I want it, I am going have to go for it and push, pull, or call as often as necessary. I might even have to see some of this in adversarial terms, whether or not “they” are against me, they certainly are not “for me”, or at least it cannot be construed that they are. As I have said, I understand that. If I can do well, very well, I am hoping much of this will change. The truth is, though, some of it will never change. There will always, for many reasons, be those who are against any one of us.
Oh, yes, the second to the last group of gear arrived today. One more order is coming, though I have not heard when I should expect it. Some of this needs to be sorted and tried on then that which does not fit needs to be returned. A little financial work needs to be completed, a bill partially paid, and a final plan needs to be checked on. I cannot believe how well and how close this thing is getting! I am very excited, ready, and pleased. Oh, yes, I would also like to make it to the post office tomorrow and set up a hold on my mail until sometime past the first week into July.
Oh, my friend ended up not arriving the last time she called and suggested bok choy and bacon dinner. It was all good, I did get the kitchen clean (and have kept it that way). She called Monday to see if I could do the same products, but for lunch. As you know, I was meeting with my rehabilitation officer, so that was out. She will be leaving the 14th for a week-long canoe river clean-up vacation. Although, that might not happen. We are having so much rain we are expected to have the highest water statewide that we have ever had. The high water marks in 1993, here in Iowa anyway, was not the record. It was only the second highest water marks. Our nearby dam’s spillway will begin dumping water tomorrow. While we would be happy for some drying out, the South-east and South-west US are just salivating at our loss, in some odd way. So, whether she goes is rather up in the air (actually, it is very dubious).
Monday, June 9, 2008
The meeting and college.
It has been some time since I visited with my Vocational Rehabilitation services officer in person. I did not realize how long it had been, exactly, nor had the time issue crossed my mind. When I entered the office a little early, he noticed something I had forgotten. Until about a year and a half ago, my hair fell to my waist if I did not have it in a pony tail. I now have it cut to within some military standards, clipped up over the ears, and trimmed well and often. As well, my demeanor and sense of things must have offered him some thought. I believe he was surprised and pleased. Both he and his secretary mentioned several things several times. It was also on their faces.
In the interview I had most of my facts down. I had the paperwork in order and I could explain most of it (some of it was incorrect but not by my hand nor to my understanding). There were a few factual errors, a few new details about me and my care which I shared, and he had several questions. Everything went fairly well. I have always felt that these interviews are more of a personal assessment process than anything else, though I may be incorrect. I know the paperwork has to be completed, I know personal contact needs to occur, but I think his personal view holds more sway than what any paperwork I bring, any legwork I have done, or anything my doctor has suggested combined contribute toward the continuation of my program. I cannot say this is true with all cases, and as I have said I cannot be sure about this. Being 100% permanent and totally disabled, that my rehabilitation has been slow and troubled, and a few other factors, make my case a little different. Like I said, however, this day was very successful.
I will go online this evening and see what I can do regarding my enrollment plan. I will try to get what courses I may from the 2-year college, the rest will need to be taken at the University of Iowa. Since I am already connected with the 2-year school and it’s program transfers, I will try to save money by going there (it does not have to be my money for me to try to be frugal). However, I will not drive 60 miles per class again, especially with gas prices and considering here locally, I can take the bus for even more cost efficiency (I want more gear, a S&W .500 magnum, and a ammunition reloading station, I have to be frugal). So, that may make Kirkwood not a viable solution for me, as their engineering courses may all require travel to their out-of-my-town campus rather than their local branch. I am willing to save money, but, my savings comes first.
I most likely will need to re-establish U of I College of Engineering contacts, perhaps needing to gain special permission merely to take engineering courses. I am hoping a simple email to the 2-year college will gain me access to my registration number, should they have courses available to me. My one requirement for courses is that they follow (fairly strictly) the guidance handed to me from the U o I Engineering intake guidance councilor. I am playing this strictly by the plan mutually formulated between my doctor, my voc. rehab. officer, and the guidance councilor initially. Only two things will happen from here on out. The first is that I will fail. At which point, I will complete my time here in the rental contract, then retire to a less expensive place to live in order to gear up further, and finally I will try to find a place in the mountains of Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, or such from where I might enjoy the rest of my life. Or, I will follow the program laid out successfully. Wherein if I deviate, it will be either to increase my course load to full time (or more), or (and) possibly go on to graduate school or law school.
To be honest, none of the plans are absolutely horrible. And, in any case, for periods of time if not ultimately totally, I will end up in those mountains. And I should add, the woods, rivers, streams, back country, ski slopes; and in winter, spring, summer, or fall; or simply whenever and wherever the outdoors calls me or finds me. If I attempt to go further and gain a masters (no Ph. d. in the cards, I believe, as it would ruin my chosen career options) or if I apply for law schools, I am sure I will have some time to kill while waiting. I might even find a college or grad school I could abide in the mountains, even the eastern ones. Though Ithica, NY was not ‘xactly’ mountains, it was not bad and Cornell impressed me, much more so than MIT. Still, grad school would be all about my interests and aptitudes, with social and religious considerations given no small impact.
I will say this, today was deliciously exciting. Not only did I realize, after a rethink of a previous conversation, that I was missing out on an opportunity and wasting time in my college preparations by not meeting with my rehab. officer, I initiated the development of that appointment, then made it to the appointment in a ready and able state, and then I carried the day. Beyond that, with the time given and in spite of what else I have to do in the lead up to my vacation, I may end up having my return to college completely set before I go on vacation. That will leave my run up to classes open for me to camp, exercise, hike, fish, volunteer, and relax so that I am good to go when it is time. I may need the course load so I can take a break! *laughs*
In the interview I had most of my facts down. I had the paperwork in order and I could explain most of it (some of it was incorrect but not by my hand nor to my understanding). There were a few factual errors, a few new details about me and my care which I shared, and he had several questions. Everything went fairly well. I have always felt that these interviews are more of a personal assessment process than anything else, though I may be incorrect. I know the paperwork has to be completed, I know personal contact needs to occur, but I think his personal view holds more sway than what any paperwork I bring, any legwork I have done, or anything my doctor has suggested combined contribute toward the continuation of my program. I cannot say this is true with all cases, and as I have said I cannot be sure about this. Being 100% permanent and totally disabled, that my rehabilitation has been slow and troubled, and a few other factors, make my case a little different. Like I said, however, this day was very successful.
I will go online this evening and see what I can do regarding my enrollment plan. I will try to get what courses I may from the 2-year college, the rest will need to be taken at the University of Iowa. Since I am already connected with the 2-year school and it’s program transfers, I will try to save money by going there (it does not have to be my money for me to try to be frugal). However, I will not drive 60 miles per class again, especially with gas prices and considering here locally, I can take the bus for even more cost efficiency (I want more gear, a S&W .500 magnum, and a ammunition reloading station, I have to be frugal). So, that may make Kirkwood not a viable solution for me, as their engineering courses may all require travel to their out-of-my-town campus rather than their local branch. I am willing to save money, but, my savings comes first.
I most likely will need to re-establish U of I College of Engineering contacts, perhaps needing to gain special permission merely to take engineering courses. I am hoping a simple email to the 2-year college will gain me access to my registration number, should they have courses available to me. My one requirement for courses is that they follow (fairly strictly) the guidance handed to me from the U o I Engineering intake guidance councilor. I am playing this strictly by the plan mutually formulated between my doctor, my voc. rehab. officer, and the guidance councilor initially. Only two things will happen from here on out. The first is that I will fail. At which point, I will complete my time here in the rental contract, then retire to a less expensive place to live in order to gear up further, and finally I will try to find a place in the mountains of Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, or such from where I might enjoy the rest of my life. Or, I will follow the program laid out successfully. Wherein if I deviate, it will be either to increase my course load to full time (or more), or (and) possibly go on to graduate school or law school.
To be honest, none of the plans are absolutely horrible. And, in any case, for periods of time if not ultimately totally, I will end up in those mountains. And I should add, the woods, rivers, streams, back country, ski slopes; and in winter, spring, summer, or fall; or simply whenever and wherever the outdoors calls me or finds me. If I attempt to go further and gain a masters (no Ph. d. in the cards, I believe, as it would ruin my chosen career options) or if I apply for law schools, I am sure I will have some time to kill while waiting. I might even find a college or grad school I could abide in the mountains, even the eastern ones. Though Ithica, NY was not ‘xactly’ mountains, it was not bad and Cornell impressed me, much more so than MIT. Still, grad school would be all about my interests and aptitudes, with social and religious considerations given no small impact.
I will say this, today was deliciously exciting. Not only did I realize, after a rethink of a previous conversation, that I was missing out on an opportunity and wasting time in my college preparations by not meeting with my rehab. officer, I initiated the development of that appointment, then made it to the appointment in a ready and able state, and then I carried the day. Beyond that, with the time given and in spite of what else I have to do in the lead up to my vacation, I may end up having my return to college completely set before I go on vacation. That will leave my run up to classes open for me to camp, exercise, hike, fish, volunteer, and relax so that I am good to go when it is time. I may need the course load so I can take a break! *laughs*
Sunday, June 8, 2008
I made it to Church!
Yes, a small thing. To be sure, many people make it regularly. Some make it every Sunday, at the same time, in the same place they sat the week before. I do not work this way. Some say certain people are like clockwork, one could literally set their watch by said persons activities. Others (though perhaps some of those who talk about setting there clock according to those unnamed clockwork type people too, I am never sure) suggest that even a broken watch is correct at least twice a day. It seems to date, since I became disabled in any case, I exhibit the worst of both those sayings. Not only would you become schizophrenic if you attempted to set you clock by my actions, I am a counter point to the belief that a broken watch is correct precisely twice a day. Though I have an actual schedule currently, it only involves the fact that I arise before 11:00 usually (though most commonly before 8:00) and that I go to bed before 3:00 usually. When I eat, brush my teeth, take my medicine, shower, or anything else is dependent upon when I rise, whether I have an appointment or other reason to leave the house, with several few other variables which might play a part and that is not regular (though I am working on it, and actually still trying to get up earlier, which has been a bust to date). Further, I am not right twice a day, regularly. I might be correct all day, or not at all and then not correct again for a week or more. Or, so it seems to me.
There is, actually, a point to all of this. The point being… I forgot.
Teasing, there is a point. When I have something scheduled, it seems to be a major complication to reschedule. Often times, the simple change in an appointment by 1 hour, day, or a week has caused me to miss the thing. And, mornings are the most difficult for me to negotiate or re-negotiate. True, as life is moving toward a more mainstream sort of existence, I am becoming more flexible, dynamic, and resolute. Changes to staid or irregular practices or appointments are not so much of a threat, they do not cause as much fear, and I seem to be overcoming them one at a time until perhaps I will not see them in the same light as before. Still, for today, changes are somewhat difficult, if only through fear and a personal distrust in myself due to accumulated history. I can literally sweat in fear when pondering having to relocate something in my mind, then prepare for it, then carry through with a change. Changing how I feel or see things is as much of a difficulty as getting off my butt and moving, going, doing, calling, and being there for my own needs and those of my friends and family.
I suppose I am saying that I am quite pleased with my little success. I have decided to make celebrating the Sabbath a high priority, and I was able to maintain that. I was late getting to church yesterday, so I had to go today (since I will not enter late). I did not make the 8:00 service, I was not ready for the 9:30 service, but I did make the 11:00 service and I was there in time to have a half hour walk while still finding seating with 15 minutes to spare. Beyond being satisfied at my defeat of fears and at having conquered my history in one battle while adding one more win toward the reordering of my memory and self-trust, I also felt pleased to be in Church, celebrating my Lord, and joining with others who were doing likewise. I did not see a single person I know, save the Priest. And, I probably do not like any one there (laugh here). It was good.
Oh, my lady friend called this morning. I must have been preparing for church as I did not hear the phone. She left a message asking for several things. She indicated she made purchase of bok choy or baby bok choy and some of her organic bacon. She was wondering if I might be interested in adding some of my vegetables and then cooking the items for this evening's supper. If that would be satisfactory, she asked that I call her back. So, I called and left a message indicating that I was amenable to the proposal. Now, I have not been visited by the home health assistants in two weeks, and it is starting to look like it. I do try, but I might as well try and bench press the sun or something. Some men cannot dance (and have the gall to sing about it), some men cannot jump (and are foolish enough to be in a show about it), and other men cannot spell or think (so they play sports if they are the lucky few among their own). For my part, I can neither clean nor keep physical order in my spaces or ways, no matter how satisfied that order makes me when I am near it, surrounded by it, blessed by it.
So, I spent the last half of a day prepping the area, doing dishes, ordering things with what time I have, and doing laundry on the side. Well, the kitchen (let alone the rest of the house) will not be as I would wish it by the time she arrives, but she has seen it in far worse shape and recently. Perhaps I could get her to help a little for the final few steps, or at least have her prepare the table a bit more. I had best get back to it.
There is, actually, a point to all of this. The point being… I forgot.
Teasing, there is a point. When I have something scheduled, it seems to be a major complication to reschedule. Often times, the simple change in an appointment by 1 hour, day, or a week has caused me to miss the thing. And, mornings are the most difficult for me to negotiate or re-negotiate. True, as life is moving toward a more mainstream sort of existence, I am becoming more flexible, dynamic, and resolute. Changes to staid or irregular practices or appointments are not so much of a threat, they do not cause as much fear, and I seem to be overcoming them one at a time until perhaps I will not see them in the same light as before. Still, for today, changes are somewhat difficult, if only through fear and a personal distrust in myself due to accumulated history. I can literally sweat in fear when pondering having to relocate something in my mind, then prepare for it, then carry through with a change. Changing how I feel or see things is as much of a difficulty as getting off my butt and moving, going, doing, calling, and being there for my own needs and those of my friends and family.
I suppose I am saying that I am quite pleased with my little success. I have decided to make celebrating the Sabbath a high priority, and I was able to maintain that. I was late getting to church yesterday, so I had to go today (since I will not enter late). I did not make the 8:00 service, I was not ready for the 9:30 service, but I did make the 11:00 service and I was there in time to have a half hour walk while still finding seating with 15 minutes to spare. Beyond being satisfied at my defeat of fears and at having conquered my history in one battle while adding one more win toward the reordering of my memory and self-trust, I also felt pleased to be in Church, celebrating my Lord, and joining with others who were doing likewise. I did not see a single person I know, save the Priest. And, I probably do not like any one there (laugh here). It was good.
Oh, my lady friend called this morning. I must have been preparing for church as I did not hear the phone. She left a message asking for several things. She indicated she made purchase of bok choy or baby bok choy and some of her organic bacon. She was wondering if I might be interested in adding some of my vegetables and then cooking the items for this evening's supper. If that would be satisfactory, she asked that I call her back. So, I called and left a message indicating that I was amenable to the proposal. Now, I have not been visited by the home health assistants in two weeks, and it is starting to look like it. I do try, but I might as well try and bench press the sun or something. Some men cannot dance (and have the gall to sing about it), some men cannot jump (and are foolish enough to be in a show about it), and other men cannot spell or think (so they play sports if they are the lucky few among their own). For my part, I can neither clean nor keep physical order in my spaces or ways, no matter how satisfied that order makes me when I am near it, surrounded by it, blessed by it.
So, I spent the last half of a day prepping the area, doing dishes, ordering things with what time I have, and doing laundry on the side. Well, the kitchen (let alone the rest of the house) will not be as I would wish it by the time she arrives, but she has seen it in far worse shape and recently. Perhaps I could get her to help a little for the final few steps, or at least have her prepare the table a bit more. I had best get back to it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)