Slowly.

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I had hoped to do some gaming, feed Sassy, trim my whiskers, and to have been on to bed hours ago.  By four hours ago, or so?  I... just couldn't.  I kept Sassy fed, ate myself and had tea.  Gamed a bit.  Finally got a shower in.  It was all just taking so very long just to attempt to get things done.  Ugh.

Blood sugar, this 'morning', was 140.  Which is a very nice 38 point drop, from yesterday 'morning'.  And, after steak and veggies, then tea, and a few hours, blood sugar is... 119?  That is... 62 points better than my later reading yesterday.  Well, okay.  I guess I really do need to eat, and mostly carnivore.

Okay, learning.

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It was around 16:30~17:30 when I needed to hit the air, for real.  Before then it had been on a higher temp, and on energy saver, from earlier midafternoon.  It stayed around 72 in the main, but this front room is up to 79/81 near the machine?  It doesn't feel like it.  And, is pleasant, after too much time in the cool?  Odd, but I'll take it.

Upstairs is 79.  I just started the ac up there.  Hoping to be to bed in an hour or two.  Should be cool enough by then.  And, anyway, will turn off the ac and open the windows...  Some of them.  Should be just fine.

As well, outside it just hit 66.  So I have opened everything up and turned off the ac.  Even while the pork roast and chicken finishes.  That should work out just fine.  Life is pleasant.  I am getting better.

I...

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Yes.  She is on my mind.  A woman.  All I will say for now.  Yes.  I saw her.  Yes, I know... what is being considered.  I see... much... too much.  Or... something like that.  Oh, believe me, I know.  And... the thought is... intriguing.  Tempting?  Though, affordability, reality of the option, and... other things.  And, yet, I have been... contemplating Saint Joseph recently.

Called to a form of humility.  And, yet, a station of grace.  Could have cast Mary out, and rightly in a worldly way.  Did not.  I could not travel his whole road, but perhaps some of it?  I... don't know.  Then again, and again, affordability.  I don't know.  But, I do see what lies before me, as a potential.  I do see what is being offered.  Right, wrong, true?  I...

I know what I have been saying.

Almost bedtime.

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One last, if a bit of an extra, run with the sprinkler.  A slightly adjusted area.  Trying to hit both a fresh area, and the hole being dug.  So... that's just taking extra time.

Someone is playing around.  I can't swear the blog post is connected with the song pops, but to me, yes.  I get the sense that one followed the others, or the other way around, but in a connected fashion.  It... doesn't mean someone agrees, or even sees a pattern?  No, they see.  They may not know what pattern they see, or maybe they do.

I give people credit, often, when it is undeserved.  I also underestimate people regularly.  Look, I only have so many chips.  And, in the real world, either they are played or lost.  Even God suggests that hiding talents will yield even that to be taken.  I still don't know what happens to those who lose the talents, for, honestly, He only discusses winners, in the game.  As if there can only be winners and those who neither win nor lose.  Remember, this was time before interest earned or paid, so the only way to lose, or win, was to mechanically accumulate more money, or spend and not get a return... or lose on the return.  Anyway...

One, two, three, four...

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Hmm?  Oh... well... this.

I love it...

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when...

It always takes me a bit to cool down.

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Another night of rounds.  It was tough.  Neither of us were exactly lively.  I burned myself out yesterday.  Even with the long sleep, it was difficult tonight.  He is just beginning to get ground down, by the heavy day work, and the additional night work.  To bed at 00:00~01:00, up at 06:30, working in ~90 for twelve hours, then driving around five hours at night?  Right.

His other job will begin tapering, in time.  He thought it might already have happened, but not so much.  Still, he holds his breath and... does his best.  Keeping him awake tonight was tricky.  Worse, I think he slept with his eyes open.  He thought they were closed, but they weren't.  It's what I look for.  I can't drive for him, so I just have to help keep him awake.

Me?  I'm just... a bit old, ill, out of shape, and weakening to the heat as summer continues.  I'll try, again, tomorrow, to get to work early.  If I can wake.  If not, then to get to work when I can, and just take the hit.  A few more logs to move, more twiggy branches, and a lot of smaller twigs to be loaded, as well, at some point, at least one unloading of the trailer into the greens collection.  Two if I could, though I don't think that is possible.

As well, in with the other work, I could pull the stacked wood, set up the cinder blocks, cut the medium limbs into lengths (setting aside those big enough to be split, then loading those into the wheelbarrow to me moved to the splitting station), and stack the ones small enough to be burned as is.

Oh, and I could put the hay stations on the rabbit cages.  Currently I simply have wood in there, they seem to chew well enough on.  I'd rather they get timothy hay, but... for now... this does and keeps their teeth growth in check.  Oh, and getting the last multi-cage installed would be good.

I would like to move one or both standing, open air, cages to a cooler spot, and move the finishing cage to a better spot.  Both for ease of access and to hopefully make them cooler for the critters.  I have cleared the wood, so that they can be moved.  Mostly.  But I can't move them myself.  They are far too heavy and bulky for one to even drag them.  Even a near giant one.  I have great strength, and more, just no stamina... or... currently, yet.  If I keep pounding my head into the wall, will that help?  I... it... hasn't yet.  But, maybe.  I've been doing it for thirty years.  Why would I stop now?

Women.

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Feeling better.  Anacin probably helped.  Well, when it is taken it has that chance.

Lungs are almost sore.  The hands can be, from time to time.  Kidneys and other innards bother, from time to time.  Most things, however, have become tame, occasional, and mild.  It's... almost boring.  Which... I might add... is a very fine thing.  Yes indeedy.  I... can live with boring, for a while, in... case anyone who has power might have thought differently, wrongly.  Just... a way with words!

Yes, well, now that that is cleared...

I did get some food in.  I took some of the trash out.  I will be checking rabbit waterers soon, and putting the ducks in.  I had a meal, still digesting.  Almost painfully full.  Burger and beans.  Blood sugar was slightly high, but I have been eating burgers and beans for days now, and had a sandwich when we were out the other day.

As soon as my stomach feels a slight bit less full, I will begin with chores and else.  Last I looked, it was 40 out.  I have closed the house back down, turning on the furnace as well.  Beyond chores, I am hoping to get more trash... the rest of it... gathered and out.  Then a shower.  If so, I am really hoping to put dirty pots, pans, and flatware into the pool, perhaps starting a load of laundry?  At least setting laundry up for tomorrow.

I seem to have a reasonable amount of money left.  I will hold onto that for now, as well as possible.  If I can begin saving, I need to begin accruing quotes for an electrical system fix.  That is required before messing with a new furnace, definitely before considering ac.  I don't think any more stimulus is coming, but if so, I could put two and most of one together to get that done.  One can hope.

An appointment tomorrow... by phone.  I will have to get in, to get a blood test... a bunch of them... soon.  Beyond?  I'll have to see about various function testing... liver, kidney, heart... and any other problems they know about or should.  Probably some sort of diabetes level as well?  Then I need a full readout, in easy to understand terms... for me at least.  That will require, minimally, a lot of blood testing.

Anyway... I'll try to get to a few things, before long, then to bed.  Keeping my phone near, and setting an alarm.  I'll keep my phone off, however, until the alarm... alarms... one of them as I'll probably need to set two given my sleep difficulties lately.  I hate being awaken by a phone call from a hacker, fraudster, or other such.

Hmm... a bit more time, then I'll see what I can get going.  The litter and trash which has been taken, and the airing out, sure helped freshen the place a bit.  Still needs more.  Maybe all yet tonight?  If I could just think... and stand for more than fifteen minutes!

Well, time to get to work.

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The ducks were out!  Not need to let them out.  I did freshen their water.  They still have food, so all good that way.  I checked the rabbit feed and water.  all out of food, but water was still flowing.  Even so, fresh water, warmed, shortly.  It was 30 last time I looked, and probably colder last night.  It's a chill one, with the air pregnant with moisture.  And a breeze, from time to time.  It's a winter day, dark, cold, wet.  Still, it's a pretty one.  As I like... my women... sometimes.  Bitty Bitter Betty's pity party.

After I get the waterers out, I will hit the counters.  I don't think dishes will be that bad, and I can set while doing them.  The counters are going to be a major chore.  And I am still tired.  Even so, I think I can get through those.  As well, I created a short grocery list.  I am not sure how much money I have, though perhaps fifty, perhaps even three times that.  Though I don't want to spend it all.  

I'm not sure if the vehicles need gas.  The SUV does.  It has enough to get to town easily, probably several trips, but pushing it.  I think the Cruz is good.  Will check.  If so, that would be much preferred to drive in.  Whenever... I drive in.  Today?  Tomorrow?  Saturday?  It is Thursday, right?  Ah, yes it is.  I still have a batch of chicken stock, with some chicken and sausages.  But veggies would be good.

Eating has become... difficult.

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No, not chewing.  More being motivated enough to go cook.  I get hungry, sometimes, sort of.  I want food.  I love the idea of food.  I can taste food, more acutely than ever.  My taste buds have matured to a point where raw kefir tastes sweet, or has a sweetness to or in it.  Raw berries can be enjoyed, sometimes... though a little keto sweetener is good from time to time too.

The flavors and textures of food are better defined in my mind that ever in my life.  A pate, versus a mousse, versus a cooked liver are as plainly different to me as an ice cream to a sorbet, a mild lemon versus lime, an apple cider vinegar to a white or wine vinegar.  I am not a virtuoso in the kitchen.  But I can put a reasonable meal together.

Meats to fish, root vegetables to greens, sprouting grasses to grains, fermentation to dehydrating, and learning as I go.  Not just for taste, if that is part of the aim, I too have become a minor nutritionist.  I am learning to balance macros, calories, flavors, various foods, and products to tend as well as sustain my flesh.  I do passing well, at least in theory.  My body and it's limits provide limits.  As well, reality.  No one can do everything.  A woman to cover my weaknesses, or add to my strengths, would surely help.  Even then, limits... just fewer of them.

Still, after all the learning, practice, obtaining of tools, collecting of special foods, deciphering of recipes, experience with my own body and with the various concoctions, chemical reactions, solutions, and else... I... find myself rarely hungry!  I have to push to eat.  Oh, if I want to eat?  I can.  Certain foods will drive me to near... even into... gluttony.  Carbs are what alcohol used to be.  A rare delight which drove me deeper into itself, until I burned out.  Then a wait until next time.

If I go too long without eating enough, a switch turns on.  My body commands that I eat.  My will is broken, and I will make a pan of beans, if usually adding burger and cheese.  A loaf of bread, or two, to eat with it.  And, often, I will make enough for a day or two of eats.  Much as with spaghetti and meat sauce recently.  So?  So I do my damnedest to keep ahead of that killswitch.  Which... means... I need to get food.  I need to eat a lot of food, soon.  Nuts only go so far, but they help.  Soufflés will do well, but the little baking dishes are gone.  I used to have half a dozen to a score.  Gone.  I have one remaining.  Not happy about that.  I have glass ramekins, but they don't do so well, shaped like an ice cream cone, so they push up even more... too much more for a safe, easy, right rise.  Ugh.  Still... I better get on it before I dive into carbs.

Not quite.

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About a quarter of the waffles were spot on.  Even the artificial maple syrup was rather tasty.  If I spent a small fortune on it.  I have another one to try.  I assumed the stuff was a tablespoon serving.  It wasn't enough, if these were rather large waffles.  More and more until I must have had a quarter cup!  But... that did it.  I checked.  No, yep... a serving size is... a quarter cup.  All good.

What wasn't spot on varied from better, to worse, on to scrambled eggs.  It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't waffle.  Still, I ate much of it, and was happy with the beginning of a start into more keto type foods.  There are quite a few recipes out there.  And this was a bastardized one.  So...  I won't quit.  I'd like to try one with coconut and almond flower, perhaps one with carbquik.  The other flours which tend to be keto friendly are more filler, not full use flours.

The dishes from cooking are soaking.  I hope, yet, to finish those, or give them all a good beat down with the wash rag and scrub brush, then get a shower.  It would be awesome to finish those dishes, clean off the counter, and get stock out before bedtime.  It is possible.  It is very late, but... yea.  It is what it is and I am getting things done.  Oh, fill the waterers too, if I haven't already.  Litter?  And any final trash out.  Bleh.  I will be the first to know!

Again with the...  Gosh, you've really got some nice toys here.

I am almost sure.

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Well, it's just an AI, playing.  But... I enjoy.

I've... been hacked?

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I didn't write this, merely noticed.  It's been building for days.  I... curated?  Sorted?  Attempted to make sense.  Some old, some new.  Someone is as hungry as I am.  Not just one, though.  Interesting.  The thoughts of three to four women, converging, for their own purposes, in their own ways, with data proffered over time?  Flirting in the oddest of ways.  Sometimes wearing my... skins... clothes.  Payback?

Oh, I... have enjoyed.  Understand?  I think so, once I realized it wasn't a single thinker.  Well, and the moods shifted, so even then, it was... bit much.  Enjoyed?  Yes, I think so.  Once I realized the gig.  Gigs.  It has been a lot to take in.  I have been tired and ill.  Old songs, in new ways, presented from her perspective, whichever her was there at a moment.  When a women gets this way, it's difficult to tell them apart.

Anyway... a very small portion which came rolling in out of nowhere.  Enjoy or go away.

Just some... random vids...

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They seemed to tie together.  I had to chuckle, and post.  They were, actually, the first responses to the dream music vid response... both from out there, somewhere.  I wasn't sure I'd print, but... it's... now seeming tamer than other things I printed.  So... here it goes.  Oh, what does it mean?  Who knows.  I just saw a sequence which... caught my eye.  After some choosing and carving, this is... what remained.

The things suggested... remembered.

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I think the dream... it... caused some to visit, present, remember.  Yes, I... see.  I love to see.  I see well, deeply.  Especially when that is the intent of the other.

A grant, gift, or curse?  The case isn't my concern.  I am... satisfied.

As for my part.

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Bumped into this a day or two ago.  I hadn't watched it.  Until after the dream.  Yea.

A few strange ones.

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Seems targeted.  Telling me something?  Asking?  I... definitely get a vibe.

I thought...

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Well... I thought... it was someone else.  And, while it was, she thought it was her.

Such a very fast response!

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Oh, I'll... draft this.  A bit late, but... it'll still be noted as very timely.  These, as they are patterned, and from long long ago, or new... some of them... showed up almost immediately.  Actually... no... not almost anything.  They were there right away.  So, I... captured and will set them out.  This would have been published at just before 10:00, if that doesn't mean much... an hour or so after the last post... (the post before that, actually... time... isn't what it seems).  I wanted to give things more time.  Just... because.  Anyway...

Awake but...

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Well?  It's been... touch and go for a while now.  Why?  A dozen and one reasons.  A thousand and one?  Can't seem to live, or die.  Feel awful?  Feel good?  Doesn't matter, can't get to things either way.