A slow awakening.

This morning has been tough to get through. It is a Saturday, and like when I was a child and playing tag, this day like some zones is safe. I am a bit stiff, though not sore, after restarting my exercises, which is fine by me. It actually feels good to feel as if I have stretched and pumped a bit. I noticed that the weight belt is fitting better and easier as well. I must be losing a bit of volume along with some weight. It would hardly be noticeable, only I know at this point. But that I do know does help. I can only hope to actually make significant gains through a much greater time. I honestly do not know how long working, and honestly expanding my workouts, with straight weights will take to show real gains (and losses). I would guess it will take at least six months before I can see a real solid major difference in musculature. Will enough extra muscle mass be in evidence so that I begin losing weight as well by that time? I just do not know these things.

I am definitely going to church today, but I do not know what else I am going to do. I might take a drive and see if the water in the reservoir is still so high the back roads around it are still flooded. I am starting to wonder if it is going to dry out this year, dry out or warm up. This weather is more like typical April or early May weather. Perhaps I could go see a movie, or rent one or three. My preferred hiking area is in as bad of shape as the reservoir back roads, so that is out. And, my outdoor swimming areas are at the reservoir, well, not that they could be used now. The swim areas are 20 to 50 feet from the current shore line and 10 to 15 feet down. It is almost spooky. Time for a shower and lunch. Sliced fine traditional salami, some sliced cheese, a blue cheese dressing combined with mandarin oranges over a mixed dark green bed of lettuce should do the trick.

I am off!

The oddest of things.

Remember when I mentioned my trip last weekend? Remember that I said the event made the paper? Well, today, I received a parcel from my bank. In it was the article in a clear-coat protection along with a thank you card with hand written, very kind, salutations and thanks. Yesterday, I had become frustrated with my bank and almost quit them until a cooler head prevailed. I was frustrated with having to keep making up new passwords for my online access. The system does not allow me to use any of the last four passwords while forcing me to change my code every 90 days, and this is becoming frustrating. Beyond that, the complications tend to increase. It used to be the last password you could not use, then the last two, and finally now the last four passwords which are unacceptable. I called the bank and was directed to a woman who handles these affairs for the bank, and was a little cantankerous. I ran out of steam when she said there was nothing she could do and that if I must end our business, she would miss my business but there was nothing she could do. So, I just ended the call with a simple goodbye. In any case, and even if I was still unhappy (and really about them attempting to keep me secure), I could not end my association at this point, after this.

This is not a small bank. If not national, it certainly has many customers in several towns and cities. How they could know it was me is also a bit impressive. The article did not have my complete legal name and I rarely enter the bank or use the attended drive through, preferring the ATM drive through, so that my face could not be familiar (?). It has to have been close to a year or more since I set foot in the bank proper (hmm, when I applied for my car loan about this time last year), and longer since I used the drive-up window. Call me impressed, and humbled. Oh, and add in embarrassed, full of laughter at some of it, and grateful to be noticed even if that is contrary to my intentions. Overall, chalk it up to a really weird event. I told you they were watching!

One more full week.

Vacation is fast upon me. I am very nervous for a multiplicity of reasons. I will be alone and I will be traveling far. I will be meeting many strangers, some more known than others, all save 4 have never been met before. There are things that can go wrong and missteps which could leave my plans awry. However, my newfound confidence, attention to detail, and planning skills are paying off well. I can concentrate, I can think, push, or find my way through complications and on the fly. And, I am as much enjoying the possibility of having to overcome as a means of proof. No, that does not mean I am trying to build a conundrum into my plans, either. A perfectly implemented plan, carried out through exhaustion with learning on the fly, concentration, diplomacy, and other skills necessary, will also be a good score. Hopefully if something does go wrong and tests me, it will be an unforeseeable event rather than poor planning. Oh, foo, whatever happens, I will be satisfied in some ways. Simply that I am taking the chance and leaving my humble home to enter a very large, dangerous, and interesting world again.

My exercises were a bit lacking this week. I did do them today, and did them well enough. Monday my arm was quite incapacitated, Wednesday I had a visitor (all day), oh, and last Friday I was heading out to load and unload a van and then expecting a significant road trip as well. As I said, I have a full week for exercise coming up, and I might work out the following Monday and maybe Wednesday as well. And though I have not been getting out to hike, specifically, between this last weekend, helping my friend, and living life, I have remained relatively active. I would not have believed it, but I have been working out for 4 weeks, I have maintained a fairly high level of activity, I have nearly completed a complicated trip plan and made purchase of most of the gear, food, and asunder other, as well as having set up plans to begin college, made all of my appointments, and maintained a better contact with family and friends, plus started attending church regularly. I even joined a bible study on the side and found time to volunteer a weekend. Oh, and my music has all been washed, every CD (that will load) has been added to my computer hard drive collection and then transferred to my Zune (292 CDs, with at least a half dozen or more which would not rip).

I would be happy to take pride in what I am doing, but I know that between my medicine, my doctor, and God, my part of this is only in the will. And, that only when assisted on top of the fleshly boost, I suspect. I have done what portion I may, I do stretch that portion as I am able and when I am able, but I still wear the medicinal cast, depend on my medical and home assistance staff as a crutch, and know that even these are humble before God’s will and graces. I am almost certain now, that I might find a better and better pace and capacity. I think I will become stronger and more functional. Whether I always need the cast and crutch or not, I will always need God. I suspect if humility and reverence is what I needed to find, I think I have found that in spades. I think I am better off for it, even with my losses and should I never truly recover. Yeah, I think I am good even if it does not get better. But it will get better. Wow.

Yesterday was a wash?

Not really. I did nothing I had intended to do. Still, I was able to help a friend. Sometimes a friend needs a day, some attention, and a little extra special care. If I have it, I offer time, energy, and tlc. And so went yesterday. I may have missed doing something important, I did not do several of my regular and scheduled events, and I did not carry out any follow-ups on orders or ordering. So be it, it happens whether for this or other reasons.

Today I got back on track. Though my attempts to wake earlier is actually disturbing my regular schedule, I am continuing to make the effort. Though I have as often ended up awakening later than even before, I think I can get there.

I was able to contact someone regarding my upcoming doctor appointment which needs to be rescheduled, and is vital as he is leaving and there is something very important I wish to discuss with him. Though I was only able to leave a message, it is a start. I also scheduled an appointment with Vocation Rehabilitation services for this coming Monday. As well, I was able to check on an order. Email tag, as usual, but it, too, is a start. I also am making some financial arrangements so that my last few orders and my trip may occur more smoothly. And, I made one of my last orders or the last order for the trip today. Much of what I am ordering will go back. I am overly cautions about sizing as the time is getting short, so I am ordering several sizes. The memory of the farmer john and the time constraint are causing some slight heartburn.

I should be finished with the last of my CD transfers this day as well. I have few to complete, yet I have a few other chores and projects I am working on as well. Today and tomorrow, and really from now on, I am on a glide path to vacation. I have one more week of regular schedule and maybe another half a week where I may or may not continue my schedule. In there I have packing, maps to make and print, and perhaps some college planning.

What a spring and early summer! This has been intense, impressive, and promising. I am doing everything I can to make gains, maintain them, and expand even beyond them. I have miles to go, but I have come many miles to get here. I hope this is the time.

I am in recovery.

Odd, but I have had a very tough last few days. Sure, I have taken my medicine and on time, yes, I have been awake most of the day, but I am definitely a hurting unit. I have been sleeping incorrectly, lying on my right arm and either cutting off the blood, or extending it incorrectly, or both. It has been nearly useless during my days. I do not recall, at night when I wake up, having that arm under me or in pain. Last night I made a point to check it through the night. Guess what, it still is suffering a bit. As well, I have awaken with headaches each of the last two mornings. I think that is because my neck is out a bit. Oddly, the bed at New Melleray Abbey did not cause me discomfort (a rather unusual thing, since most “new beds” do cause headaches). Still, it seems, coming home to my own bed is the cause. My own bed has become like a new bed.

Beside the headache and arm troubles, I was generally exhausted yesterday. I would say that continues into this day. I believe part of the problem was getting so much exposure to the sun on the trip, without properly hydrating anyway. That is a mistake I will not repeat. I feel like I am having a hangover, one which is lasting two days. I assure you I am not. Oh, right, both a hangover and what I am going through do have the same basis, now that I think of it. Dehydration is a large part of both problems and that is why I feel as if it is a hangover. I guess I am going on a bit of a liquid diet for the next few days, well, the right type of liquid diet anyway.

I have squandered Sunday evening, Monday, and this morning on my weakness. I will stop it here. Drinking water may help in time, but getting up and going will stretch me past points of weakness (which are going to happen). I need to call Vocation Rehabilitation Services, do some financial finagling, order a few more items, check on some other items, send back a farmer john, and start lining my gear up so that I know what I have and what I might still need or want. One thing at a time though, Rehab Services and returning the wetsuit top today’s list.

Oh, and yes, the events of this weekend still play on my mind. As one who has studied Zen and suffers from “dissociation”, I could only suggest that the Monastery offers a spiritual form of those things, though Christian based. However, where Zen attempts to detach completely, the monks attempt to be here and there both with work and prayer coupled. And, where dissociation is accidental or unwanted, this is not so much the case. I am exploring it as I am able. Though I am certain there are no words which may quite describe the sense. I am not sure I can completely understand the senses either. Be that as it may, I am examining those feelings, senses, and notions.

Carbon “Belch” Day? Ok, but why stop at a day?

I read this article and I had to laugh. For the most part, I try to live by those principles, when money, time, and other resources are available. Though I honestly choose to attempt to live a humble life, I have absolutely no real fear of running out of oil, destroying the planet, or any of that eco-garbage people are trying to shove at me. Oh, it is nice to have a clean planet, but do not lie to me and then expect me to believe you the next time. Or, if you are going to lie to me, lie well. If a third grader can figure out these eco-terrorists like Al Gore are wrong, it sort of ruins the game. It started with Rachel Carlson’s lies and it has not stopped.

The good news is, if democrats and Democrats keep artificially raising the cost of fuel until Republicans quit trying to be democrats and show the people how little fuel should cost with the correct number of coal burners, nuclear plants, and an end to most of the EPA and the horrific rules it imposes, there will never be a question about this again. Why might this happen? $6 or $10 dollar fuel in a nation which really should only be paying $1.50 for fuel will change things. This is not yet the socialism of Europe. If 30 to 40 thousand of each of our states dies from heat or cold due to artificially inflated fuel costs as happens yearly in France and Britain, things here will change.

Oh, here is the link. I honestly do try to abide by most, if not all, of these principles. One day? What jokers.

New Melleray Abbey

Though I spoke with my coworker in the charity effort about the Monastery, and several times, nothing can quite prepare someone for their first stay at a monastery. There is nothing similar in any of my many life experiences which might have prepared me. I would have to say that the stay is quite apart from the world as I have ever known. Then too, there is the common and mundane in plane sight yet viewed as if through a lens which transforms even the normal into the contemplative. Time slows down, and then moves at a particular pace, set by the monks, the lives they lead, and the nature of the surroundings. To say it was an amazing experience might not quite be the best way to term it, yet that is what I have and so will use to describe my stay.

We arrived at the Abbey late, for monastic time to be sure. Arriving at 21:00, we entered the Abbey and waited near the guesthouse attendant’s room (9:00 pm, henceforth I will use military time: to find pm time, subtract 12 from any hour designation greater than 12:00 (13:00 ~ 13-12= 1 pm, 17:30 ~ 17:30-12:00= 5:30pm, etc.). After a short wait, my companion suggested he might know where to find whoever might be in charge of greeting guests. Sure enough, after a brief parting of ways, he returned with a man. I was to learn that this was Father Tom, a father yet also a brother at the Monastery. I do not know if he was a priest and then became a monk, whether as a brother he then went on to become a priest, or what his circumstances are, though I did learn all of these and other possibilities exist. In any case, we discussed a few things, we were given a few items with which to study or follow the monk’s Gregorian Chants, personal instructions, and a schedule for the time we were to stay. I remember little from the evening being tired as I was. Though I am sure we carried our gear to our bedrooms (private rooms with our own private baths), and once in my room I set things up for the night, unpacked, took care of grooming needs, took my medications, and then attempted to sleep.

For some odd reason a cousin, who has never called me before, called me shortly after I had settled in for the evening. We are not to speak in the rooms, and so I had to find a light switch, my phone, and press the ignore button. Having finally done this, I again retired. Perhaps ten minutes later she called again! Again, I pressed ignore. This time, however, I set the phone to neither ring nor vibrate when receiving a call. The phone, even when shut off, will come back on when called. I do not like that particular feature. As a side note, the following day, Saturday, my mother called and left a message in which she asked that I call my Uncle and give him my phone number. I wondered why she had not just given it to him, but I think it is easier for him to capture my phone number on his phone and add it that way. He might not actually remember how to put it in, or he may have difficulty seeing the numbers and buttons. He has never called me before either, so I am not sure what was going on. I did make the local news, so maybe they saw or heard something about that. I have not yet called anyone except my mother back, and since she did not know, I do not know.

I did sleep, and well for the most part. I did need the fan provided in the room. Though I did not sleep deeply, I slept soundly and comfortably. I awoke in time for the first bells. A little bit about bells first. There are seven bells, and a mass, each day. The first bells, a literal ringing of church bells, calls for the brothers, fathers, and all who wish to attend, to go to the church. The monks then sing Gregorian Chants (Psalms sung to a specific music arrangement), offer words of ceremony, and bow, or sit, or kneel at various times throughout the ceremonies. The seven bells are (Office of) Vigils at 3:30, Lauds at 6:30, Eucharist at 7:00 (this is at 9:00 on Sundays), Terce at 9:15, Sext at 11:45, None at 13:45 (literally, the service is called “None”, confusing, a bit, at first… Latin(?)), Vespers at 17:30, and Compline at 19:30. As I said, I woke up, without an alarm clock oddly, in time to be groomed, dressed, and downstairs for the Office of Vigils. However, I did not know where to go. And, having been warned against entering certain areas and knowing that signs might be easily missed at this time of day, I waited in hopes someone else would go and I could follow. It was not to be. However, I was pretty much awake for the rest of the day.

For guests, breakfast is after morning mass except on Sunday, dinner is at noon, and supper is at 18:00. In the morning, during a time I can only suggest the brothers might complete more domestic chores, as guests, we have a large space of time to study, read, hike, or relax. In this time, my cohort and myself decided a hike would be good. He actually sought me out to see if I wished to go with him at about the time I was looking for him to ask a few questions, including about hiking. There is quite a large acreage which the Monastery maintains, it has 1200 acres of timber, as well as pastures, farm land, and the grounds of the monastery itself. Our hike must have been three or a little more miles, in total, and perhaps a full four miles. We had some very interesting conversations interspersed with quiet times along the way. Even with a very large hill, and occasional other terrain difficulties, I think I did well in the effort. In the afternoon, work around the grounds, in the garden, or wherever work is needed, is performed by the monks. Those of us guests who wish to do so may help. My friend and myself, along with another man, agreed to help. We trimmed the branches of several plum trees in order to even their look and allow air into overly dense portions. Two of use went on to the garden with the brother from there and planted about 100 pepper and a few tomato plants, while the third guest went to pick rhubarb. I dug the holes with a trowel in this part. We then completed several other minor and last minute tasks, including cleaning our tools, fertilizing some of the vegetables, and stacking and storing what we had used. I think we ended up impressing the brother which whom we were working. If not by great deeds, then merely by a lack of complaint and a steady hand to the work.

From what I am told, the monks are vegetarians. Since we guests eat a different meal, I am not sure what their meal plan looks like, though I must admit to being curious. From seeing a picture of one of their completed meal place settings, it seems as if cheese and milk are in the menu, so I am speculating that by vegetarian, only meat is precluded. Though whether the definition of meat constitutes fish and eggs as well, I cannot know. As I said, I am curious. I myself love beef, as well as some pork, fish, fowl, and I am coming to appreciate lamb, vegetarianism would be difficult.

They have an interesting gift shop. Some things are expensive, some things are not. Some items are produced at the Abbey or the nearby and associated nunnery, others are from local, regional, national, and international religious venders. There are foods, wooden items, books, religious items, and music. I sorted through the gift shop over my stay, deciding whether to buy something or not, whether for myself or others, and what if anything at all I should get. On the day of departure, Sunday, I strolled down toward the shop. I saw and greeted Father Tom and asked if we might take care of my stay and perhaps a few purchases. He was awaiting my travel companion, as they were going to speak, but until that time he was free. So, I picked up a few items, a coffee mug with New Melleray Abbey written on it and a design indicative of the architecture of the building, a book of rules which the monks must abide, the morning and evening Gregorian Chants recorded at the Abbey, and a brief photographically rich book of the history of the Monastery. Later in the morning, I realized I did wish to purchase a few items for a few friends. My neighbor had indicated that honey buttered bread had been a delight he had remembered from his childhood visits to a monastery in Utah. So, I thought Melleray honey might be something he would appreciate. Mixed with butter and spread on bread, perhaps his family might enjoy the treat? I can hope. As well, I remembered to buy some chocolates for my lady friend. She happened to stop by this morning, for no particular reason, so I offered her the chocolate, which she gratefully accepted. She also liked the mug. I offered it to her, but she suggested I keep it. If I go again, she has suggested that I now know what to bring back to her. I should get the honey to my neighbor this afternoon.

There were three monks with whom I had some contact. I must admit to being quite pleased to have met these men. I felt rather satisfied to have made their acquaintances and it was enriching. I do feel some comfort, both that they do this work and offer these praises, but that they are able to in spite of our state as it is, the profusion of sin, and the social confusion that has nearly destroyed via secularization the fabric of this nation and perhaps the whole of Western Civilization. In this place, there is some notion of hope, some remembrances of wholesomeness, a realization of the strength and goodness of tradition, righteousness, and the greatness of God. It was no small thing, this visit. I sense more, but this is as much as words will convey.

I am considering visiting this winter, sometime during Christmas break from college. This time, I am considering whether to visit as this time or whether to go as an associate. As an associate, I would sit up with the monks and chant, sing, and worship with them rather than being seated in the pews, and yet I would not eat or reside with the monks or with the guests, necessarily, either. I have not yet decided which it is to be, or if for certain I am going. However, hopefully if I go, I will take cross country snow skis, cold weather gear, and some gear I would like to test in order to do some exploring in the mornings. I plan on reviewing the recordings of the chants in order to, perhaps, become more familiar with them. And, I am considering trying to get to their type of schedule. Getting up at 3:15 and going to bed at 20:00 to 20:30 is not that bad. It offers right at 7 to 8 hours of sleep. We will see how far I get with this. Some of it will not work well with my vacation coming up. In any case, I am hoping some of what I felt is maintained, and some of what is a mystery will become more familiar even if it never becomes named whether or not I incorporate all of their schedule and some of their activities.

A storm report.

Parkersburg, Iowa

Though the stay at New Melleray Abbey was a second thought consideration which only coincided with a task I volunteered to assist performing, the stay has become the predominant experience of the weekend. Yet, the task which initialized the stay was also significant in a number of ways. The task was not difficult or complex for my part, though the man who initiated the event did the planning, made the contacts before and during the trip, and did the driving to the locations which needed deliveries. I was only a helper in loading the van and company on the trip.

The delivery was fairly uncomplicated, though initially it seemed that it might be involved. As we approached Parkersburg, Iowa, we started making calls in order to ensure the items and monies we carried would be delivered to the correct place or places. We began calling early enough so that when we were near enough to make final choices, we were easily and directly directed to our two destinations even with the little bit of phone tag which is apt to occur in these situations. The first stop saw us driving to a town west of Parkersburg where it seems the Red Cross has headquartered their relief services and donation center. The next stop sent us through Parkersburg.

Much of the town was not damaged. If I had to guess, I would say two thirds of the town was intact. However, what of the town that was hit was more obliterated than damaged. Houses were often stripped to their foundations, most of the structure on two and three level houses completely or mostly gone. The trees were stripped of all foliage, all of their branches less then a foot thick, and some trees lost even some or all of the thicker branches. It looked like a war zone. It looked as if bigger howitzers were used to heavily pepper the area with near-ground and slightly higher sky-burst shells.

Something that had not crossed my mind before regarding tornadoes came to my realization as we were leaving the town. We passed a junk-yard for old cars. They were stacked several high, perhaps five or six in a stack. There were many stacks. Then I realized something, they were all “newer” junked cars. There were hundreds of vehicles flattened, tossed around, smashed by a tornado, not by time and machines. This was an F5 tornado, and it shows. Oddly, there were two buildings which stood out as having very little damage, just a bit of roof damage, and certainly not even systemic or catastrophic at that. Two new bank buildings survived right in the middle of the tornado and stand in stark contrast to the devastation the surrounding area exhibits.

As I have been informed, there were three cities actually hit by the tornado. We passed through or by both of the other cities, though we could see no damage. New Melleray Abbey actually also lost a barn to the tornado. Objects from Parkersburg, the most westward of the towns hit, were found in Prairie du Chiene, Wisconsin, across the Mississippi River and between one half and one third of the state away. It was an incredible storm.

It was difficult to consider the people who survived this tornado. Lives, property, businesses, and schedules lost or disrupted and in such a horrendous immediate and non-negotiable fashion. I can really only pray that those people and their communities find a way to join together, and that people from around the country, along with insurance companies and other parties can all gather to help those in need. It is a very big project, amazingly big, overwhelming large to me. I know in another country, almost any other country, recovery would be agonizingly slower if it came at all. Some nation’s governments do not even allow the people in need to receive donated food, water, and clothing and do not provide as a government either. In spite of their ill fortunes, these people could not have had a bad thing happen to them in a better place.