Tried to sleep longer.

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Got maybe another hour, hour and a half in?  Over my recent efforts.  Was able to stay awake just an hour or so longer.  Those don't always match, especially when my days and nights are circling the toilet.  Who... flushed!  Bah.  At least I wasn't in the shower?

Heating the oven, for another steak.  Best pull some out to thaw.  I seem to be eating well.  Two steaks out.  Then I'll fast a bit.  Steak must have helped?  Blood sugar is down to 140.  Yes, I needed food.  Right food.  I'll... keep at it.  Just tea and water?  No, I'll have corn and peas, with butter, along with the steak tonight.

Fairly good.

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I wasn't sure I'd get to boxes.  I did a bit more work in the bathroom.  There were things I forgot to put away.  They are... sorted and stored, rightly.  And... a bit more with laundry.  The last load is drying, should be dry.  No more going into the wash, today.  Though, perhaps, through the day, I may set a load up.  To begin first thing tomorrow.

No shower yet, but I wanted to do boxes first.  Which, finally, I did do.  And every one.  Very nice.  I wasn't sure that was going to happen.  Now to get the broken down boxes into the suv, and have that ready for... whenever.

Wonderful.

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Sleep was mostly good.  My feet were as if blocks of ice, couldn't get them to warm.  So had trouble getting to bed for that.  It was 78, up front here, when I went to bed.  And 77 upstairs.  I think it was between 22:30 and 23:00 when I finally got up and to bed.  Once I got the feet warm enough, and crashed, sleep was fantastic.

I set the alarms for eight and ten.  Hoping they would just be emergency use.  As hoped, not needed.  I woke at 4:46ish?  It was 76 near me, 73 in the main, up there.  It is 72 front room and main down here, and 46 outdoors.  A nice morning, really.  And, that, again, is with a fan upstairs, on a lower setting, the central air fan going, but the furnace set to 68.  Interesting, possibly fascinating.

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Awake for a while.

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Since midnight?  Three?  Something.  Just drifting, since then.  Gaming, initially.  Then to making a fatted coffee.  Reading what the internet portends, suggests, or such.  No, not so much the news.  The news doesn't matter.  You are told what you want to hear.  I am not.  They don't dare speak the truth.  If I want the truth, I'll tell you.  Which I do, from time to time.  Hated for it.  All good in my book.

Sleep was good.  Getting cold though.  It's 71 up here, in the front room, in late August?  Strange.  It was 74 near me, 75 elsewise, when I went to bed.  Didn't check when I woke up.  Cool enough to not use ac, if I did use a fan.  Delicious sleep, honestly.  I may go back down in an hour or three, try to just nap, then get a shower and makes some calls, do some business.  It is right between 45 and 46 out there... here as I just start to write.

Ugh.

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Just one fatted coffee.  Three waters, so far.  Blood sugar is 86.  Good.

I need to open things up, to get meat out.  Steaks are in the fridge, but burger is in the drop-in freezer.  Which... has stuff on it.  Two steaks out, a three pound burger pack... to be fried and stored.  Adding into things.

About bedtime.

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I didn't get to work today.  Fasting, extended fasting, is having a deleterious effect.  More just slowing down thought, as much as tiring the body.  A few more days, and I'll begin eating again.  I'll pull steak and burger out of the freezer tomorrow.  Let it thaw overnight, and begin eating.

On the good side, blood sugar is 78 tonight.  I finally broke the 130 range (when I didn't eat poorly and jack it to the two or three hundred ranges, bleh) it was sticking at.  Which is the largest part of whyfor the fast.  As well, I had the first bm in days.  Without eating, I was sort of surprised.  Just one fatted coffee today, and five cans of water.  Curious what the weight will be tomorrow.  I can't remember how many days since I ate, but it's... been a while.

Awake for a while now.

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I woke up around 15:00 to 15:30?  More middling in there, I think.  Meant to check the temp out there, but never did.  Still haven't.  Probably won't.  Just don't want to, at this point.  Nearing 19:00, I have just been drifting.

My mother called.  I had a lot to tell her, about things going on.  I asked about family and friends from back there.  Everyone seems to be still kicking, and doing as well as they can.  She is doing well, a few concerns.  I'll add them to my prayer list.  One of our fellows was in an accident.  I continue prayers for him, his friend, the others involved, and family.  Always other concerns, specific and general.

About to drop again.

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At 22:24, a three hour wakeful nap?  An inverse nap?  It's nearing time to go on back to sleep.  I would have been to bed earlier, but I forgot to add a couple of cans of water and a double shot of electrolytes.  I got the fatted coffee down, but just.  Did I need it?  Hard to tell, when just coming to, or back to, carnivore.  It takes a while to get the rope jumping down on the gig.

Anyway, it was filling.  Which... I made me need for it to pass a bit so I could add water.  Then I... sort of forgot.  Until I realized I was so tired I could drop.  Then put it back on the program, and am getting it in.

Night mares.

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All through the night, and into the day.  As I was sitting, thinking, reading... even there the herd rumbled through my mind.  Even Zeus had... mental pussy problems?  Aye.  Had to get hammered, to fix it.  Even then, it... just manifested his headache?  Or... so they say.  Athena lives in all men.  On the other side?  We own their attention.  What would Athena be, without the dirty thoughts of old male gods?  *grins*

Oh, thought I should... add a mapping schedule, so that understanding might be... easier.  Mostly.  If... the vid is male and female?  It's straight, even if I empathize or sympathize with the feminine within.  Happens.  Same when it is lesbian.  Just... consider that an... odd form of straight?  Right.  If you see male gay?  It's... not my blog.  You... have been misdirected.  That... just doesn't happen here.  That I know of, they try to sneak that shit in everywhere.  If it's here, it's not on purpose, or isn't for that reason.  Bleh.

That...

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was a quick response?

I think so.

Very pleasant.

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Just enough food to get through.  I try to eat smaller amounts.  Nothing fancifully small.  Say, three to five hundred calories per meal.  Along with about two to three hundred calories with the fatted coffee, that serves me through the day.  Two meals a day, at that amount, seems best.  If I eat more, when I get back to carnivore, life will be better.  I just can't eat much, currently.  Not enough, all at once, to do a one meal a day thing.  With meat that is more possible, though not always even then.

I had, too, been having another coffee at night.  But I think the tea will fix that.  The white tea was delicious, and the chamomile seemed to add to it nicely.  I will need to reduce how much tea and chamomile I use, however.  That was a bit potent.  Both are, essentially, loose leaf.  And quality.  You can never be certain, until it arrives and is brewed and tasted.  But, yes, this is very good.

No promises, just a thought.

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I was pleased to see health numbers getting, seemingly, impossibly, better.  Really, all of them.  Now, I'm not feeling it.  Still recovering from the accident?  Just the cool dark spring weather?  What gives?  I just can't say with certainty.  

Bp is higher, if not even close to my highest.  Like... 168/100?  It's been 218/ 185 average for six months, twice that I knew.  Actually, for a year one of those times.  Or another time?  Bleh.  Sometimes, for years if unregistered, I haven't necessarily tested.  Blood sugar is over 7, but not by much.  And is a part to my other healing.  Protein is required.  So... sure.

Gaming.

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I don't know.  This game is deep.  Really, really, deep.  And it doesn't ever really seem to level off.  Just keeping up is a trick, but no... that... you'll never keep up.  So far, out of sheer luck from what I can tell, I haven't failed to put together fuel, or parts, to do various things.

Basically it is a space exploring and combat sim type of thing.  Only, you have to mine for fuels.  But... it... takes two or three types of fuels.  On top of fuels, you need to keep yourself alive, with oxygen top offs, electrical (and/or other) life support needs, and else.  It's... a hot mess.

I didn't even bother.

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While resting as I prepare to sleep, I looked over vids.  A few new ones, but nothing interesting.  Then I saw a few.

In one, there were cartoon chicks, talking about men.  One of the gals was saying that her guy didn't cry watching the Titanic.  Her friend asked if men even had feelings.  Oh, I laughed.  I did.  That kind of feelings?  No.  If a woman is mad at you, she could watch you bleed to death and not care.  How they count feelings has nothing to do with ethics, goodness, or else.  Had to laugh.

So strange.

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I'm not taking extra waterpills.  I even miss every third day, of late.  Even so, my legs hurt from the water coming out.  As if too much is draining.  And, cramps, a bit too often.  The other things which will cause cramping is if my legs are too cold, if I am walking around in a t and underwear, when it is 72 or less, that will do it.  But I have been wearing warm pants, and have been warm.  Warm enough to consider turning the furnace down to 70.  Perhaps even 68, if still good.

As well, I am taking vitamins daily, pretty much every day.  As well, minerals, a compound of them that is specifically for muscle cramping problems when taking waterpills.  And D3 for good measure.  I keep forgetting the B complex, but... that doesn't really help with cramping.  And, to be honest, I haven't seen anything missing from not taking those.  But the minerals, usually, help with cramping.  Not sure why the cramps of late, with the care I am offering.  Maybe not enough food.

Nudes, of the woman I loved.

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Trying to remember...

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When was the last time I was out of the house?  I think it was for a quick run for food, groceries.  Two weeks ago, three?  Five?  I... just can't be certain.  And, it had been weeks before that, and... week before that.  Back to when I was able to make it to church regularly.  Five, eight, ten weeks ago?

I have been pretty done in and down.  But, things really are improving.

No work today.  Nor a shower.  Yet.  I think I'll get a shower before long.  And, probably set up some dishes.  Maybe start a load of laundry.  I'll take the smaller vacuum cleaner upstairs.  It doesn't need a vacuum cleaner bag, so that should be easier.  And, it is much lighter, much more maneuverable.  I'd like to clear the floor, vacuum, and reset the upstairs... in the next few days.

Something is very wrong.

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Lungs burn.  More like from a fever.  Neck, bones, else, are sore, as if I have the flu.  I don't think it is the flu, or covid.  Just... some sort of low level infection.

But, the heart?  That's weird.  When I leave over, so as to pick something off the ground?  It feels like my heart will come out of a pocket it is in.  It does some very odd things.  Something is really off.

I had forgotten to take medicine.  Mostly.  I got back on it tonight.  No waterpills, not right before bedtime.  Peeing enough, as it is, lately, at night.  Not... a lot, in volume, just frequent.  Not sure what is up with that either.

Old stuff finally being implemented.

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I had... things for the ps4.  For a long time.  Just... couldn't get to installing those things.  An external hard drive, external ssd, and internal ssd.  Well, I finally tinkered and got the external drives working.  Then, had to tear it down to get the cooling problem sorted.  All good.

But, I decided, finally, to install the internal ssd.  Which, hardware-wise, is about a tenth as difficult as a complete tear down.  Actually, only one panel needs to removed (no screws with that part).  Then, one screw to remove the drive sled, then four screw to remove the original (hard)drive.  Then installing the new drive, an ssd, in reverse.

That... isn't what stopped me.  It is backing up that hard drive, then reinstalling that "drive picture" onto the new drive.  Seemed... complicated... programmy.  Not my cup of tea.  Still, seeing what else I did, I decided to hit it today.  So, as I write, the original drive, while still in of course, is being backed up.  Takes... a bit.  But, whatever.  When that is done, all I have to do is shut the machine off, replace the drives, and then start up and put the backup to use by installing on the fresh drive.

A dark time, a good time.

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Up a bit late again, if I was up... a bit late playing.  Again.  It's just how it goes, some days.  Nights.  But, I wanted to check the lights, too, that I put up yesterday.  Working.  Though, they only have stupid modes.  I just want them on, and that.  I don't want twinkling, fading in and out, and else.  There seems to be no simple "on" mode.  Oh well.  But, they are working.

My legs hurt, terribly, again today.  Mostly focused on the calves, though really the whole of each leg is a bit tender.  As is my torso, a bit.  Bending, flexing, kneeling, lifting while bending, kneeling, standing.  All good!  I... love it when my body has pain from effort!  I give these, too, to those in purgatory.  Trust me, they are glad for the tiny sup of hope from such.  It is as a light breeze, stuck on a flat ocean during the doldrums of old sailing ships.  Maybe not what was wanted, but a breath of hope that this too shall pass.  Amen.