A few things.

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The steak seems good.  So, I am leaving it to warm for an hour, then will dice and fry it.  I am hungry.  Might make italian dressing (vinegar, oil, and spices and herbs de jour).  Though... all together, or one as a side?  Maybe a bit of both, if hungry enough.

The other thing is a few vids about a tool.  Not one of the old standbys, a newer tool to me.  But not completely new.  I've used it several times, perhaps many times on the lower end of that pool.

Nearly noon.

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Bits and pieces, through the night and morning.  Not... a lot.  Short work periods.  No heavy work.  But a lot of little things, between resting.  Couldn't really game.  That, too, takes energy.  I would rather do mechanical labor than game, but that isn't always an available option.

I didn't get a shower, but the tradeoffs were good.  I didn't get recycling gathered and out, but will.  I got much else I wanted, and a few more things.  The coffee seemed ready, this morning.  So I pulled the grains, which are in a nut milk bag, then put the liquid in the refrigerator.  As well, I reset kefir.  It is smelling off.  I don't understand.  How could it be off already?  Maybe it is just my perception.

I checked the creme fraiche, but that seems... off... too?  I just don't understand.  It has worked perfectly the last few times.  Very strange.

It snowed again last night.  Perhaps two more inches down, though there isn't a foot of snow on the ground anymore.  And some areas are finally becoming bare... of snow.  And it seems to be soaking in, which is greatly needed.  A few weeks, or even months, of a healthy soaking, and the aquifers, general surface water tables, and such should improve.

Days and nights are trading places.

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Not much I can do about it, quite yet.  Between pushing last week, and the game beating me up... while glued to it... life is what it is.

I did do a few more dishes.  I got kefir reset, but this time started collecting the output, as it is from all raw milk at this point.  It looks like I began adding raw milk at just the right time, as the kefir grains have redoubled since yesterday, making up for the loss in half the then grains due to a spill.  In another day or two, I should have enough gains to start a third fermenting quart jar.  At which time I will refresh the jars currently in use for fresh... then wash those.

They say that kefir does well.  That it will last forever.  I'm not exactly sure what went wrong.  Did something get introduced, accidentally or through sabotage?  Was my method of separating... that is using a plastic mesh strainer, and wooden spoon, pressing the grains through harshly and quickly damage the kefir grains?  Or was it left on the counter just too long a few weeks ago, and it got so sour it started going... off?  I just don't know.  But I do know that kefir can go... off.  It wasn't toxic, or for me.  But I wouldn't have served it to a human.  Uhrm, you.

I have half, or a little less, of my first half gallon of the stuff.  I will wait until I have two full half gallons, then I'll begin having between a pint and quart a day.  While upgrading to three fermenting quarts at a time.  Eventually I will be back to one to two quarts a day.  Good stuff, if you can get used to some bite.

I'll fry burger and brats today.  I think I do have leftover burger, I'll perhaps make keto spaghetti, or go to the dark side and add beans and cheese, plus creme fraiche.  Probably the latter, to be honest.  I've been eating a lot of meat, and not sure my body is completely ready for that.  Add it over lettuce, and it should be... good enough.

Oh, and I remembered.  Couldn't be sure when Valentine's Day was.  I had been working on finding places to buy flowers, for my mom.  Get them sent.  If you try "national" services, they charge two hundred and more for a dozen roses, or near that.  But, if you can find local, you can halve that.  I can't afford hundreds.

Anyway, I ordered yesterday.  A dozen.  And, every few months, I'll send her something.  Oh, I'll let my brother know about this.  A little thing, to brighten her week.  Something physical.  It's as much as I can do, for now.  She was pleased.  Called when I was asleep.  I called back.  She's having a bit of a rough day.  Those get more difficult the older, iller, we get.  This I know.

It has been around 20 to 24 F out there for the last few days, pretty steady (from what I have seen).  It was... almost a light freezing mist, out there, with a bit of wind.  Strangely, it didn't feel nearly as cold as that might make it seem.  It was... fresh, nice.  Or... at least to me.

I have sure enjoyed messing with food this week.  And, finally, getting mayo made, and then on to ranch.  And with blue cheese dressing in my sights.  I didn't call the church again today, as I woke too late.  But, last night, between gaming, eating, dishes, and Sassy's needs, I did look for other churches which might work.  I have four, I think, which I may call in an attempt to find what I am seeking.  Might have to drive to SLC, but... so be it.  It's expensive, but if no one close is able, or willing, to help, I have to get this done.  THEN, I do begin doing regular, and perhaps learning to deal with foreign language speakers.  I'll... keep on it, as able.  I'll try to push days around before I have to, for a meeting.  Ugh.

The heart hurt.  Legs were getting thick.  Feet are swelling.  Some of it is from missing medicine.  Some of it is from the stress of the game.  Some of it is from changing my menu, probably a bit too quickly.  But, I... am trying to deal with it.  I found water pills, and took a handful last night.  Oddly, it only kicked out, say, four liters?  Well, overnight.  If that is four times, and more, what is becoming more normal.  Eight times, actually?  Yes.

The water retention isn't from drinking too much, or stress.  It is because I so exhausted myself that I wasn't getting up to go as often as I should/would in normal more rested times.  So, it... just... went to ground.  In my legs, feet, torso, and elsewhere.  A few more water pills today, if not so many.  Some painpills.  And trying to get up and go, when I feel the need... before it just goes to ground, wherever.

Never quite sure.

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I don't mind making my own bleach.  Using it for purifying drinking water?  That I am not so sure about.  Why?  Well, they seem to hide what the extra ingredients are.  If those extra ingredients are fungicidal, algicidal, or both, those are poison for humans too.  As to strength?  While that might be a slight issue, in an short term, in the longer term that will take care of itself.  Bleach simply breaks down over time.

So, I will make bleach, for laundry and cleaning uses, with the pool shock I have.  But I won't use that for water preservation.  Oh, and something a lot of people don't seem to realize?  Water is only good, if treated with a non algicidal or fungicidal bleach, for about a year.  After that, things will begin growing in there.

As well, putting water in old milk jugs, soda jugs, and such?  Even if sheltered in a dark space... a closet, basement, or such?  Beside the potential leaching of plastics and other chemicals, those containers only last, perhaps, a year.  They do break down.  I've tried to tell people, but... they... just don't believe.  Well, until they end up with a mess.  Of course, for some reason, they are angry at me for my warning.  I just don't get some people.

Oh, how do I identify, and what are my pronouns?  Conspiracy theorist, and I/told/you/so.  *smile*  Yea, I... finally went with the gig.  Probably not in a way that makes the little faeries happy, but... so!  I'll say it again, I/told/you/so!  Ha!

Anyway.  The variances in measurements are pretty large.  Anywhere from 2/3rds teaspoon to a heaping teaspoon per gallon to make regular bleach and (if it is legit, non algicide or fungicide) from a pint per 12.5 gallons to half a cup for five gallons, and... others.  Though, to a degree, it depends on if it is pure calcium hypochlorite or cut with inerts.

Anyway, since mine isn't pure, I'm going with the higher amounts.  Then to figure out how to store the rest of the bag.  But, yes, finally, I will be making my own chlorine.  Why?  Have you seen the price of chlorine at the store?  $12 to $15 a gallon!  I have some purposes that requires a bit more chlorine than usual.  Even one gallon a month really adds up.  And, making it myself?  I can probably cut that to around $2 to $4 dollars a year, and that one bag may well last four to five years if stored rightly.  So, yeah.  I'll do that.  Making my first gallon today.  Right after this post.

Do your own homework.  Consider what is important, what risks you want to take, and do it or don't.  I'm curious to see how it works out.  Hmm, may post a question online, see if the manufacturer will answer the question, as to whether the stuff contains algicide or fungicide.  Or, try to find a phone number for the manufacturer, and call them.  Would be very good to know if I can use this for water storage.  If so, I might put some water up.  After these last few days, I... remember that I forgot to store water.  Have to change it over yearly, but... worth it... I see, I see.

Later.

10:22

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Still awake.  Not quite up to playing.  The game requires too much... focus?  And I am just not up to it.  But, I can, and have been, looking over suggestions for play.  I'm still not quite seeing the web travel, but... as with much, that will take time.  Until it is muscle memory, it is very difficult.  Thinking, then acting, takes too much time and effort.  Once it becomes remembered by the body, then improvements, added skills, and such, can be developed and used.  Frustrating.  Like having to learn to tie one's shoes all over again.

Hmm? Ah, right.

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I have been thinking about canning beef.  I have looked at various vids, but wasn't... satisfied?  Right.  Some people try to sell things, or ideas, that just don't work for me.  Fine, but, no thank you.  This vid was straight up, how to, and simple enough for me.

Down to 36, last I saw?

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Yes, but now?  At 8:06, mountain, it is to 42?  Wow.  Cool nights of late.  Though, really, it is artificially lowered, from smoke... blocking the sun.

Not much happening.  I have just been gaming.  Will try to stay up into the afternoon again.  I wasn't sure that was going to be possible, but it has started warming.  It is up to 73 in here, near the computer.

I keep trying the rembrandt gouda.  Of course, but I mean with intention.  To compare it to the other cheeses.  I have finally decided.  It is an 8.0, the other is an 8.5.  And, I do remember having something closer to a 9.0.  Why?  It was saltier (had salt crystals) more than the rembrandt, but less than the vintage.  And less hard than the vintage (12 and 36 month aging).  So, anywhere from 18 to probably 24 months, there is a gouda in there that is... still softer than the older, but much saltier than the young.  I'll bet the company still has it, but I'd have to go through many orders.  Still, I might.  Though it might not be listed as a gouda.

Oh, and I did look up gruyere, at my favored cheese place.  They have several, and they were all $12 or less?  If it remains true, I may try some next month.  And some gorgonzola.  Someone keeps driving my hunger, and curiosity, for cheese to new levels.  Oh, and I may get more of the three milk type gouda.  That is... a very fine fresher cheese, and rather inexpensive.

Some of it.

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I got, say, seven dozen ears husked, plus.  I may well end up with three or four more dozen yet to do.  I didn't get them frozen, but will.  Chief Nose Wetter had something up, a video, about how to get water out of the bags, as one is freezing things for winter.  Ah, not the same video, but it will do.  I'm glad I watched this one.  I was wondering what would be large enough.  A bucket will do.  In the tub.

Somebody is awake?

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Checking for new vids, I found one.  And, exactly on target with the topics discussed.  Now, this particular video does not categorize for keto, but with enough data to begin sorting for that.  As well, he almost hits on the needs for more fats, and proteins, but, as with most folk, completely misses it after having obviously stated why such would be far superior, several times, for several reasons.

I keep hoping to get to more.

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So tired.  I mean, just... not able to think past sitting in the chair.  Looking through a very small part of the internet.  Examining news from the sources I bother sousing.  Look at youtube, if currently that is pretty much blocked.  Looking through amazon, for good prices and things which might help in my plans... from food to gear.  And... watching prices.  Somethings go nuts, but mostly short term.  To be honest, it looks like gouging, at times, if they think their is a scare going on, or very temporary price hikes for whatever reason.

Those of us who buy in larger amounts, and watch the prices closely, are staying away from higher prices.  There are some things where the prices do continue to rise, and we realize that.  But, often, even recently, there is a lot of headfaking with prices going on.  If something goes ugly, I either live on what I have or go without.  I... can go without.  I am even changing from perrier to mostly simple r.o. water, now that I have a system that works, well, cleanly, more efficiently, and in batches for very easy use.  If the prices of that doesn't come down, I'll just quit it altogether.  It has become a luxury, if one I really enjoy.

I called my mother, to check in.  She is still having trouble with the sticky nature of the blockage.  I reminded her what I had used, and explained why it worked.  Not sure she will take the advice, but that isn't my problem.  Trust your doctors, if you really must.  Then again, she might take my advice and never tell me about it.  She's... like that.  I'm not worried, now that she is through the majority of it.  Still, would like to see her life improve a bit.  What was it?  Leading a horse to water.  Right.  Can't do more.

Blood sugar was okay, at 119 after the meals, and a 138 average for the week.  I'm having a fatted coffee now.  Will have a bit of burger, cream of mushroom, and palm heart or konjac rice.  Now that I am truly over the need for the pasta kick, these things really do work well.  And, with the two or three types I have, variety and mood preferences can be played.  I'll probably have another small dose, 8 to 10 cc's, of fast acting with the meal.

Getting to the point where, maybe, I can let up.  But not quite yet.  On fast acting insulin.  Not sure why.  The extra sleep?  I am doing very well with keto menu choices.  I do have bags of rice, bags and cans of beans, and cans of soups and stews, plus else should carbs be needed.  And, I will probably obtain pastas, regular sorts.  But, I don't use them, won't unless there is a major collapse in availability of any/all foods.  Well, and from time to time, just to use some of what I buy.  Gotta.

I am feeling... better... about what I have in stock, available.  Even to tp, dish soap, shampoo, and regular body soap.  Could always use more.  Actually, could use a lot of pasta.  I'm nearly totally out of that.  Haven't been buying it at all.  Even if using it rarely, that's enough to make it all go away, mostly.  So it... became scarce.  If nothing else, it is a good trade or charity item.  Well, sugar and salt are next on the list.  Sugar, mostly, for trade.  But salt?  Absolutely priceless, and actually a physical need.  I have some molasses and maple syrup, but want more, and raw honey.  If, for myself, I am well stocked on keto sweeteners, of several sorts.

Bit by bit, building my kit back up.  I only feel better, still... a bit behind.  I lost track, had some fun, ate the stores, and... then realized what kind of a mess we are in.  So... I keep shopping.  Window shopping, and sorting the basket, until the next payday.  Perhaps picking up little things on the way.  No time to save, currently.  Money isn't worth what it was yesterday, and eventually that will be showing up in prices.  Dump cash for actual goods, as much as possible.

On to... something.  Or nothing.  At least, with it being cool and dark, sleep has been pleasant.  Crops are going to fail, hard.  But will be in a mellow mood as that happens.  As for running out of food?  Only if they decide to dump it, on the ground.  Which they might do, if you keep refusing to buy box cereals and sugared foods.  Though, there is zero difference between high fructose corn syrup and sugar, or honey, or... it's just the general fast carbs.  All, pretty much, the same.  They just have people who aren't ready to cut those hopping on the same foot, swearing they are different.  Even organic cane sugar, raw honey, none of it is one iota different.

Yea, but... on to... something?  Or nothing.  I am hoping to get fed sooner.  Maybe take another shower.  Perhaps get dishes and laundry going.  And, hopefully, make it to bed early.  Thanking God from time to time, for the opportunity, and wherewithal, to do what little I can do, and plan for a tomorrow, even if it isn't for mine?  Maybe.  My real tomorrow is already managed.  All I have to do is accept it.  Later.

Looking around.

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I found a vid.  Commando Survival Skills, is how it was billed.  I... didn't have to look.  But... I... had to look.  I always have doubts.  Though, after viewing it, I suspect it was legit.  The thing is, it was based on being in the military, in the main, and having gear and components that civvies really don't carry as a general rule.  Oh, there are tradeoffs.  If you don't have facepaint, perhaps you have lip balm (I usually don't carry either).  Actually, I don't carry anything which could fit that bill.  For use as a firestarter.  If traveling a bit, I generally like to have several means of igniting a fire.  But, usually, not including chemicals or fats.  Not sure I trust those for cooking, or believe they would do better than just standard dry kindling and starter.  Mostly.

I won't say it is completely obsolete, to my life.  But, pretty much, and in the main, both the methods and equipment are no longer in my lexicon.  I might end up doing similar things, but I wouldn't do them in the same way, save as an absolute last resort.  Still, it was interesting to watch.  I am sure, if from a Navy standpoint, I was taught many, most, perhaps all those things at some point.  But never used... well, perhaps used a few.  But... more for shiggles and gits, or in some class or exercise or group review of these things.  

I think we had to take off our dungarees, tie them off while in the pool, blow air into them, and use them as flotation devices, while in bootcamp.  But, I'm telling you, that... didn't work well.  I'm pretty sure it was a net negative.  Only one small subgroup of the men would have found any good out of that, because they couldn't swim to save their miserable lives.  Then again, I don't think they would have survived to create those improvised buoyancy devices.  Sank like rocks.  Panicked on the way down.  I loved watching them.

I just had to look.  And laugh a bit.  Oh, sure.  Some of them could work.  But not only expensive and wasteful, if who cares on Uncle Sam's nickel to a degree, but cumbersome and not terribly effective.  Then again, I think the idea wasn't to actually, necessarily, use these?  I am thinking, the idea was to create the idea of seeing what needed done, and doing it.  In the "drink" (drink = ocean, sea, big body of water)?  Find flotation.  Then find something for warmth perhaps.  Then find flares or signal devices, etc.  More to get you to think about what is needed, and how most efficiently to obtain what is needed.  But to triage the problems.  Are you going to drown or freeze first?  Take care of the biggest, most dangerous, problem first.

Boy Scouts stuff.  Or... when Boy Scouts weren't queer fodder... or outright female.  Be prepared.  All the badges were there to give you ideas, get you to form ideas, about how to stay alive, what is right and wrong, who to befriend and avoid, and such.  Only, more aimed at grownups who hadn't had that experience?  I had, for a while.  But, moving every year, with only one parent often, made that... improbable.  Just being from a single parent home, at that time, sort of excluded one from social acceptance.  Just the way of it.  Still, I learned my own tricks, for my own reasons.  Had to.  Everybody does.

I suppose I could show it, in that light.  But, really?  I'd rather find a more practical, civilian, video.  Which uses not .mil gear, but household gear.  Have to leave your area, for raiders?  What small things to pack and take, to live a bit better.  Look, life on the run will not be nice.  Get over that.  It will merely be a hope.  Not even a guarantee.

And, with Biden damaging gasoline vehicles, with more ethanol (which honestly isn't recommended to start), you might not even have vehicles in a bit.  Unless you can afford electric.  Though... getting them charged, in rolling brown and blackouts?  I... have doubts.  Everything is planned to keep you penned in with the animals they are loosing, while disarming you.  Shit will get real.  Laugh, but it isn't coming, it is here.  In your neighborhood?  Yet?  It will be.  Even mine.  No doubts, if this continues, or gets worse.  A nuke, or extended Ukraine thing, or expanded to a few other nations which wouldn't surprise me.  Seems to be what both sides want, and are pushing for.

Anyway.  Be thinking.  What could I take, what do I need, what would work if this failed, that failed, or everything fails?  Be ready for hell or highwater, maybe both.  And, heck, look up that or other videos like it.  But if it gets that far, and you don't have resupply caches/dumps?  Fuggetaboutit.  Just surrender to whoever comes pounding on your door?  If I would guess fighting, even if you are going to lose, might be the more humane way to go out?  Dunno.  But it is well on it's way.

Couldn't sleep.

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Looked for a few ideas, while awake.  Things to think about, for good or ill.

Odds and ends, mostly for prepping, things to do, or some combination.  To be honest, I don't think hunting will be high on anyone's mind.  Oh, there will be a flush of hunting, if things go bad.  Right until there is nothing left to hunt.  Look at Africa, to find out what happens when bushmeat is allowed to be culled.

After bushmeat is gone, they begin to go after the cattle.  That ends up in a war.  Lots of people get killed in range wars.  Well... it's the way things go.  When people are starving, they aren't so worried about laws.  Heck, being shot, or even hung, is better than starvation.  Far better than watching one's family starve.

Still...  If that has nothing to do with anything, necessarily.  Now, I have few such needs, in any of these directions, mostly.  Well, can always use more food, and better, keto, storage, foods.  And, I'd love to get into pottery, if I'm not sure about the whole clay gathering thing.  It's a lot of work.  And, then, work, on work, on work.  But, in a world that has shut down, it might be... something to do.  As well, making your own black powder would lead you to make your own charcoal, so... things could mix and match.

Anyway... a few ideas, potentials, and prep ideas.

Up!?!

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Before the alarm, but just.  15:30  I had a large shipment of various orders in.  Canned corn and beans and other veggies, cat food (which they ripped me off regarding), and mostly stocks of various foods of various sorts.  I even bit the hook on keto pancake mix.  It may be overpriced trash, or it might be okay.  Though... that means I have to do something with it.  As well, I have some wonder about using it as a hotdog dip bun?  And some other notions?  Not sure it is economical enough for that, or would even work.  But I was born with plans.  I would say... 78 to 95 percent don't pan out well enough to be used, or more than once, or for ongoing regular use.  But... plans I have, and use, and do, and...  zzz  When I can stay awake, these days.

So, I got those down.  Stowed.  Good.  I wasn't sure I would be able to do so.  Panting at the end.  And a bit heated.  But... not as bad as I worried.  Not just down, but stowed and sorted to some degree.  More is coming.  Food, people.  Buy some f'ing food.  Imagine banks down.  Imagine stores simply closed, without groceries.  It has little to do with supply, if it looks like they are purposefully interrupting and sabotaging supplies, suppliers, and manufacturers... if those aren't the biggest problems.  Look at the price of diesel.  Right?  Now, think about replacement parts for vehicles.  Big, and little, rigs... even motor vehicles.  How... does everything get everywhere?  Food, people.  At least enough to get you through a week.  Though a month would be better.  Three better still.  A year even better.  With an understanding, however, that the more you have, the more you have to guard.

And, don't forget, you still need toilet paper, soap would be good, cleaning supplies are required.  And every other consumable you use on a frequent basis.  Only use a teaspoon of vinegar at a time?  Cool.  How long does a quart last?  Gallon?  How much salt, sugar, pepper, do you use?  How much do you have?  When people go hungry, most go feral.  Most don't do well with little or no food.  When Russians were freezing and starving, they ate young, single, women more than others.  Yes, they did.  After dogs and children were gone, I suppose?  Don't be Russians.  Don't allow them to make you into Russians.  Or North Koreans, or Chinese.

I'm not sure how long they can keep things broken, and how much they will continue to break.  But they seem to be having a temper tantrum about us not choosing their poisons at their prices.  We don't want central planning, even if it were actually beneficent.  Which, in these cases, it isn't.  A person, who has been vaccinated, doesn't get the disease.  That is what vaccine means.  Which is why I call it the vax.  It has nothing to do with medicine, if some of that was already questionable... I had backed away from those a decade or more ago.  Their best interests have nothing to do with my good health.  Same goes for food production.  And they are pissed about that.

Anyway... doing what I can.  It is woefully little.  I am trying to keep money from staying in the bank, for the most part.  There is something, being considered, that way... but for logistics, not... any accruement of wealth.  The dollar, with this interest rate, at that inflation, is a net loss.  Holding it does no good, other than in an attempt to collect enough to do something more with it.  It's an ugly world, and getting uglier.  Wait until they have digital price tags on your food, so you don't know the cost until you get to the counter, because it goes up that fast.  Food, people.  What you can get.  Even just a few extra cans, here or there.  Or prepare to join or be eaten by the pack.

Still, I have it in, down, and stowed.  I'll get something going for supper, soon.  And fry the burger, and store that for taco salads and else.  Then clean up the pots and pans, again.  

Oh, something else I ordered, after checking things, is a smaller tarp/rain fly.  The one I have is just too big.  So I went down to a ten by ten, square.  Will try that.  And, hiking poles which are better.  They cost half the pair I have, but after having them for a while, you learn what is good.  Extra length, available for me... good in general, but especially going downhill.  Clip adjustments, rather than twist.  Twist just... I'm never sure... completely.  Clips just open, move to desired length, then fold back.  Never any doubt, no slippage, nice.  Little improvements and updates of gear.  Who knows, may find myself afoot, for good or ill, before long.  I really need to do... something.  If I can, I may start trying to do the stairs.  Just a few, at first, when I get up to grab water, coffee, or food, or go to the bathroom.  Just... a few.  though, pushing toward more.

My health is a real limit.  I am not sure how much of a limit.  May bury myself just trying, or... might... improve.  Especially on medicine rightly, and eating a bit better and more regularly?  God knows, I'll... do what I can.  Not just for life, but I live for Him... or was.  Now I am back to living for myself in the way I think He wills it.  From the prodigal son, to the servant, and back into the fold.  Hell of a ride.  Grateful for the opportunity.  And, while I could lament my faults, grievous faults, I won't dwell on that.  He does not wish it.  And... I have better things to do.  Amen.

Wake them up, I am told.

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I have been trying for decades.  I realize now, it won't, can't work.  Some have... become more aware.  But even they refuse to face the enormity of what is ahead of us.  Some are stocking up, and well.  If they were doing that before me.  Often, even at the 'choir', the urgency I recommend is ignored.

Then again, I have limits myself, so I do understand.  Limits on resources available, on ability to know what to store and how best to store it, or even the capacity to store things better.  Canning meats would be much better than buying canned meats, but I physically can't do those sorts of things, at least from start to stop without... a hand, local guidance, and a bit of a push.  Still, I do what I can.

One of the tricks, regarding storing food, is that, if you are doing it right, you are consuming what you are storing, so you are always having to top off.  I get... lost, in that, often.  It's a tricky world of changing variables, and disappearing resources.  As well, when you have people getting into your goods, that doubles the difficulty.  Well, and mice.  Though I think they ate what they could.  There isn't anything but tin cans and thick plastic buckets which they haven't seemed to encroach... or yet.

Sure, I have bought things which are of no use, or questionable use.  And I have spent money on luxury or even negative items.  Even a rare fast food meal is not only a waste, it is a negative... on the health front.  And, yet, from time to time, it will happen.  There is only just so much serious absolutes in the world.

Which... gets us back to waking people up.  I think it's not that they aren't awake, at least the ones who I think are available for that.  It is, that they like me are limited.  At some point, one has to just shut off the input.  Even walk away from the whole thing, for a while.  I do it, no choice, from time to time.  So... yeah.  

Those who know, are doing every bit of what they can do, within their wisdom and capacity.  I am, many of my neighbors are... some of them?  Can never be certain.  Some number of us are doing what we can.  But none of us are billionaires.  All of us are living hand to mouth.  Money is getting in shorter and shorter supply, while prices are doubling and more.  There is only so much we can do.  But, yea, we are doing it.  And, to be honest, it is in hope, not faith.  For these things won't last long.  If even a major regional hits, it'll be tight.  Though, if it were just that, sharing to get over the hump is much easier.  If it's the long haul, which looks like our government is planning to implement... it will get dangerous.  Those who have not prepared will demand their human rights, and... may well get them.  Taxes... and death.  Exactly what they voted, and planned, for... whether they knew it or not.

Watch it out there.  Later.

More.

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I have been ordering foods for storage.  Short and medium term... six months to a year.  There are many holes in my planning.  Some of the food is not good for keto.  There are limits.  I do have longer term foods, too.  Stored to last decades, with five years on the clock albeit.  Still, it's what I can do.

Storing, long... even medium term, with keto, isn't actually possible.  Just understand that.  The caveat, to middle to longer term storage, is to store what you will eat, and eat it.  I can, in good conscious, only do that to a smaller degree.  If I ate just my stores, blood sugar would be incontrollable.  What I can do is store what I know I will eat, and eat some of it off, from time to time.  Health issues limit my ability.  But, in a true grid down, I will just have to eat what I have.

Chia seed, though, can be stored well.  But that isn't enough.  And, actually, I need to find that in longer term storage, or figure out how to put it up.  It can replace much, but not all.  Nor would I wish to have it replace all.  I have eaten it, nearly daily, for about a year, maybe two?  But I am hitting limits.  I will be cutting it back to two or three times a week, and figuring out something else... eggs and bacon, eventually kefir if I can find my feet and keep up on it, and such.  I like a softer, easier, breakfast.  And, while I despise breakfast, as a meal, I realize I need it.  My systems work far better with it.  Like it or not.

And, I am beginning to explore other options, such as powdered cream.  I have... heard... it isn't the most... appealing of things?  Yet, for camping, or disaster, it can't be faulted.  Other things are being considered.  A lowering of expectation, but a continuation of some normalcy, for a while, should it hit and hard.  All it would take is the nuking of Taiwan or Ukraine, and the gig is absolutely up.  And, don't think it couldn't, wouldn't happen.  Hell, toss Tokyo in.  I'm not even sure the elites mind.  Just... a means to an end, and that is "OUR" elites.  Their elites absolutely don't care.  Yes, we are at that point.  They don't want to be poor, like us.  And would rather go out with a bang, than a whimper?  Something like that.  If, too, they are trying to force us to live like peasants, in the meanwhile.  Wet dreams of being Chinese or Russian elites, who do whatever they want to do, ignoring their people, and their health, wealth, and else for their own grandiose natures.

Yes.  I'm telling you now, stock up.  At least a month or two of food.  If you are older, less active, and might end up shut down and homebound, it won't be as much food as all that.  A couple of big bags of rice and beans would nearly do it, save for boredom.  Add in a dozen cans each of tomatoes, other veggies, potted meats, and longer lasting, shelf stable, protein breads... or canned if blood sugar isn't an issue... and crackers of some sort.  I use keto, but if I could, I'd add saltines or ritz.  Would anyway, but their shelflife is abhorrent, mostly.  And, not things I should eat, even occasionally.  Love those regular saltines, with butter or peanut butter or jelly or... in soups/stews/chili.  Ugh.

Sardines, if you can handle them.  Trust me, something different, from time to time, will be glorious.  Especially something full-flavored.  Cans of things.  Perhaps even honey and/or maple syrup (the real stuff, both in glass), or even molasses.  Things to add a bit to stuff.  And packets of spices, whole black pepper (or white, I have both).

Start small.  Build a bit, eat a bit of it, replace it twice over, etc.  Days, weeks, months, or... never.  Though, it doesn't have to be a big bomb, here or there.  All it has to be is a twisted ankle, a broken hip, closed banks, or an electrical outage for good or no good reason.

Anyway... I got a lot of that downstairs, and collected the boxes, got them to the front room, along with packing and plastic packing, and tore all that down.  I was... a good boy.  If, too, I am beginning to think I am avoiding dishes.  Though, to be honest, I think I trick-fucked myself.  That was harder work, and now my back is a bit out, shoulder really hurt, biceps and leg muscles all got a good workout.  And, yet, I am pleased.

I had asked someone to bring food.  Turns out he had worked late, had a water main problem which soaked him, and was just getting home after... twelve to fifteen hours of work?  Okay.  So, he said he'd get right on it.  Really?  I just told him, if he wished to do me a favor today, to stay home, get warm, rest, eat, and never think about such again.  Didn't have to twist his arm, didn't want to have to.  It's... nice, from time to time, to at least pretend to be kindly.  *grins*

I'll... figure something out.  I... won't be showered, and ready, fast enough to be out before the world shuts down.  But I have a few things.  Canned potted beef, protein bread, sparkling water, and a smile.  Life... is good, can be.  I am grateful for it.  Amen.

Not the best.

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Well, I feel okay.  A little achy, a little shaky.  But, generally, pretty good.  I wasn't able to get to bed until some time after 11:00 today.  Then woke after 17:00, by some amount, say half an hour or less after both of those times?  Slept well.  A bit cold.  I can't warm up!  Even with the furnace jacked.  While there might be leaks, drafts, the house does warm.  It is me, not the furnace or house's heat retention.  My body just... won't, can't, warm.

I have been drinking and eating as much warm stuff as possible.  And, one thing I have found, is adding protein powder thickens the coffee, especially the pea powder, if it also leaves sludge at the bottom I have to sort out... usually adding water and swirling it, then downing that.  Not my favorite, but I won't waste it.

On to coffee, then a hot breakfast.  So cold though.  It's down to 30.  I suspect it was slightly warmer earlier, but who knows.  I think it was about 32 when I went to bed?  If it warmed, it wasn't by much.  It looks like winter is just going to hold on for a while, since it returned.  Not a return with a vengeance, just... a return.

Well?  I guess I'll try to hit the dishes, get a shower, and begin slowly cleaning the cat litter boxes one at a time, and deal with loose stuff, partial boxes, and oddly mixed boxes.  Or... over the next week.  I'll keep pushing.  Will get back on my feet and at it, if, when, as, possible.  I am hoping to begin hitting it harder today, and will push for it.

I have been taking it easier, and because I needed to, for a while.  But, it's time to begin pushing, shoving, back into it.  I don't want to lose my gains, and I think I can get back into the game.  I think I can.  If it might take some real hard pushing.  Plus, I need to go shopping.  I really want to try my vinaigrettes.  And need cheese, out.  The old stuff was... too old.  Plus, I need to stock up for the month.

Complain?

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Me?  Aye!  Loudly, often.  But, it doesn't stop there.  As mentioned, I was greatly disappointed with the zippo hand warmer.  Using it last night was... less than impressive.  So?  So I went looking, while waking.  And I found information.  I found it in two places, but one of the places didn't... explain it, or in a way, specifically, on that vid, which made sense to me.  I found it in another vid, which exclusively described what to use, where to get it, and how to apply it.

And?  And I... just happened to have all the components.  So?  So I tried it.  And?  And it sure seems to work!  Much warmer.  So, I got the other one out, and got it set up as well.  Now I have both running, in my pockets, as I get ready to go do chores.  I checked the temp, earlier.  I thought it read 14 F, but can't remember for sure.  Will check again as I get to chores.

Ah, the vid, and credit...  The other guy, I think, was being secretive, as he wanted to sell the material from his own stock, rather than have people use what they already had, or even know what could be used.  I have done soldering, in tight places, so needed the 'cloth', and had it on hand.  I was worried, at first, about it needing a lot, but, really, I barely used one very small portion, and probably won't need more.  This stuff won't burn off.

Slow going.

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Still, food is being heated.  Assuming any of it is any good.  Will know shortly.  Though there are other options if that fails.  I will eat, hopefully enough to get the machine working.  I also have three or four chores plotted out.  I think I can get to two of them, soon.  Will see.

Still a bit rough, but no more than when I woke,  Actually, a step or two better in a few if not all areas.  And the other areas haven't worsened, so it's a better go of things, for now.  BP was 123/96, with a pulse of 82.  Not bad, if not perfect.  Definitely going in the right direction.  Still a bit winded, but not prohibitively.  If I move slowly, and not for long, I can... do a bit.  So far, just going to the bathroom without winding myself, then getting food to warming.  But doing two things at once is... a... better go than possible, without winding myself pretty awfully in the last week?  Mostly.

Hmm, tea was so good yesterday.  It's warmth, without too much... of whatever.  Fatted coffee seemed too much, lately.  This is a nice, clear, tasty, warming drink.  No sweeteners, no dairy.  Sometimes, recently, both of those have been too heavy.  Oh, I ought to pull some chicken bone broth out.  Of course, that means clearing the freezer top.  I'll... see if I can get to that.

Oh, and while I am at it, I am trying to get some things in stock.  Keto things.  I... haven't really looked up pure keto storage items.  In part for fear of costs, in part because I doubted how much is really available, and... because... I pout... sometimes, about some things, for good, bad, and/or no reasons!  Cheers.

Still, I finally asked the question and found a solution.  I was... actually impressed with what I actually do have on hand!  I have a third, to half, of those items on hand.  Some for more extended use, some for more short term use.  So... I went shopping.  I don't think I can afford it all.  But I can get some of it this month, and next month, and the month after, and become fairly well set.  I am hoping, by the New Year, to be set enough for, say, six months, perhaps just on this, if need be?  Two months, for sure, maybe a year.  Excellent advice.

A few things.

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Before meal blood sugar was high.  I hadn't used insulin today, and it was high fasting for whatever reason.  So... that was what it was, and was slightly expected.  There was hope it would drop on it's own, more than it did.  It started at 202.  I ate half the kielbasa, if I wanted the whole thing, and half the 'kraut... which I also could have eaten.

Two hours and change later, I was timing it, blood sugar has dropped to 187.  Not a large drop.  BUT... that was with sugar added sauerkraut and no insulin.  Okay, I take back my suggestion that I won't eat that food again.  But I do understand why I generally don't feel good about them adding sugar to everything!  Most things don't have probiotics which will render the sugar neutral.

Anyway.  Now to finish that, with kefir this time, and insulin.  Then check again in, say, three hours?  Just in time for another kefir and then bedtime.  I am going to keep trying to regain daytime.  I... prefer to be awake when it is hot, sleep when it is cool.  I love being awake in the cool, too, some of it.  If I could just wake at, say, 03:00 to 05:00, that would give me some cool time.

It is down to 67, maybe 66 already.  Outside.  Inside is reading 78, but that is right here near the computer, with the light on, in the front/hot/cold~prevailing room.  The rest of the house was about 72, until I opened things up and... well... initially that is warming things up, to 74.  But it will cool off before long.  Oh, I best get the windows open upstairs.  That will scoot out a decent amount of heat.

Something odd, today.  I found one of the waterers, from the rabbits, had been removed, then shoved around and to the back of the cages.  At first I thought it had been simply taken.  Not so much.  That rabbit must have been without water for some or most of at least the day.  They don't drink much at night, and a sixth of it was gone (it didn't seem to be leaking).  So... who knows.  I best at least check on them in the mornings, even if I do nothing else.  The bottle was quite dirty, though, as if it had been almost attacked, kicked around.  Very strange.

Maybe a shower yet tonight, and another shave.  Something I have been having trouble with is storing my razors... not the blades, the devices.  I am, currently, using safety razors.  I would prefer straight razors, but, for now, this is where I am at.

The thing is, I don't have a lot of space for them, where they are easy to reach, use.  I may have found a trick, if they work.  Bases, which hold them, hopefully, upright.  I have three I sometimes use.  Though one has fallen out of favor.  So, two would be good.  I ordered several types.  Hoping that sorts that clutter out a bit.  The next option would be a (hopefully) wall mounted quad holder, or such.  I need more space, and easy cleaning access without having to deconstruct the area.

Well, the 'kraut and sausage should be about ready.  Or at least I can get the kefir portioned out and ready.  I am calling this a keto post, because what is good for diabetes is generally pretty good for keto diets.  Good day... and night very possibly.

Already back up... just for a bit?

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I went to bed at 21:36.  Wanted to remember, did.  Woke a bit after midnight.  Couldn't remember the exact time, didn't try.  Dreamed.  In the dream, I put together an incident report of what actually did happen today.

As I was out, I grabbed a meal at a burger joint.  They have two lanes, some asshat pulled in the other way then tried to muscle his way through to my lane.  Nope.  Plus a few choice words.  Nigger being one of them.  One he happened to be.  He finished his ordering process before me, but tried to have me go first.  Nope.  I only ever want what is mine.  He paid for my meal.

Now, that would have seemed cool, but I was pretty sure that wasn't a gift.  I had no choice, but that was that.  I kept my awareness about me the rest of the night.  Turns out I was being tagged.  His vehicle was very peculiar.  A higher end, but a ministation wagon one.  I had never seen that config.  On my way to check on the critters, it was pretty dark, and I was switching lanes, and leaving the road, often enough that, tracking me would have been difficult.  And would have been noticed.

I kept seeing blacks, however, on the way up.  Which... was unusual.  Especially so many.  Yea, I... was wondering.  But I didn't see him.  On the way back, I did see him.  He, and at least one other vehicle, were jacking around... he was ahead of me, going just slow enough to make sure I would catch up, another was blocking the outer lane, but began advancing, and a third suv was behind, and began a push.

Then we all saw a cop suv, and all the tomshittery up and stopped.  Ten to one, they were using listening devices used by cops to hear what occupants are saying.  I knew cops had that years ago... proved it to Kordell by getting a cop to nearly ram us.  *grins*  Don't fuck with a psyops, boys and girls.  Anyway... looks like antifa, blm, agents, even in small college towns, have that gear.  If too, it looks like cops know about it and are on to some of it?  I saw three more cops on my way home.  I took a different path, checked as well as able, and got home eventually without seeing more.

Now... are the cops... which angle are they playing.  For all I know, saying nigger is grounds for arrest these days.  It looked like they broke up the attack, which only hadn't happened because they aren't used to attacking a driver who is willing to do what it takes to... keep out.  But... watch it out there, boys and girls, the groids are up in arms, and are on the attack.  Go armed or go home, and be ready to fight for your lives.  Don't die because a monkey doesn't like a word.  There is a reason they are called what they are called.

And, just understand, the cops aren't always going to be on your side, even when they seem to be.  They are so politically correct driven, they may be pc drones.

I remember, when taken from Iowa to Chicago, to the deserter detention center, in three points all the way... even on the airplane.  I think they try to break people that way?  And, then, at the center... where they tried their best to humiliate, hurt, bother.  I... just didn't mind.  Sitting there, allowed to do nothing, for days and weeks.  I... had no difficulty with anything.  Then... they realized... just what I was.  All stupid shittery stopped.  They... were told nothing of me.  Which, on top of their own instincts, frightened them even more.  Death, it was a form of death, they had bottled up.  One who was on a cruise like vacation, for all intents and purposes.  Worse, a Noone Death.  They all learn, in time.  I think half of the parties involved tonight know.  The other party may learn so fast it never registers.

It was a white or silver audi q7 or etron, I believe.  Saw it one too many times, in one too many places, for coincidence.  And in a caravan at the end.  So... yeah.  Watch it.  Watch for it.

But you, out there, watch it.  They are listening into your car.  Ask a cop friend about the tech.  They almost all, or all, have it in their vehicles.  Might not be admissible in court, but can lead them to what is or keep them from being shot.  *wink*  But that is how they are choosing who to pull out of vehicles and etc.  They may be listening to your homes, while they march by, as well... tagging certain people for future and present attacks.  Watch yourself out there.