You Are 51% Misanthropic |
 You're somewhat misanthropic, but you're not willing to write off the human race (yet!). There's a few people you like, and even them you like at a distance. |
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Well, it looks like the poets left. Good call, mostly.
Hmmm, ok.
You Are Somewhat Machiavellian |
 You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead... But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself. You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place. You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to! |
Not a lie, a damn lie, sort of.
Huh? I said, science, yes, science, yes, science, yes, poetry, huh? So what does it spit out? Ah, poets are everywhere. Gehen Sie ya auf dem Weg! (urhm, or get thee behind me, Satan?) Thanks for getting me into this fine predicament, Heidi. Girls!
As well, I am not creative with words nor do I expand my vocabulary. I make up a good 70% of my linguistic "art". Fools.
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
 You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. |
As well, I am not creative with words nor do I expand my vocabulary. I make up a good 70% of my linguistic "art". Fools.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Fixing and humming.
Ok, perhaps I am not really humming along again, yet. It is in the works. For now I am content in having taken the first preliminary steps at securing my world. Some things regarding the computer have been tended, and some things are closer than before. I am trying to figure out how and when to have my new locks installed. I have been dreading that, for certain reasons, yet longing for it. Frozen in indecision, yet thawing to the realities, I will try to have things in place for a Monday install. I am drafting a note to a dear friend who I damaged in my dark place. Her actions and words were not helpful to myself or the relationship, yet did not deserve that which was dished out (even if I then perceived it to be correct). I cannot speak to her wrongs (real or perceived by me), but I can and will speak to my own. Though I cannot really hope to regain that friendship, which perhaps or perhaps not is for the better, I can at least plea for forgiveness as we go our separate ways. I am having a tough time nailing sleep cycles down, caring for the perpetual exhaustion, or even taking proper care of nutrition, or any of that jazz, but I do what I can as I may and I believe it will come around again soon.
It is not perfect, nor will it ever be. It is getting better. I am looking for and finding little bits of hope. Hope from and in other people, hope in the world, and hope in myself. Little signs that the world has a touch of grace which cannot be undone, love which will not end, and things, places, and people who do appreciate goodness, the wholesome, the right, and the true, even if, and quite often, not in just the manner in which I understand these notions. Yes, a certain amount of personal “gold” does equal (if a larger amount necessary) a certain amount of personal silver. A spiritual diamond has a similar valuation to a particular assessment of spiritual property (location, location, location!). So, there is a wealth of the finite, a richness of human nature, and a fortune in religious devotedness out there. I can see the shine of these, even if the truly mundane wine, gold, and beauty have lost their sweet, lustrous, fascinating hold on me at even a reasonable and righteous level.
I have been watching politics. There is no one I could recommend out there, none of the front runners or favored dark horses for certain. As I have said, what I see is Democratic politicians, all. Clintons in drag, or not so much. Yet, I have not vested my hopes in man, so politics has become quite a bore. Even allowing for minor skepticisms, what hope does man really have in men? If that is all there is, then surely we are doomed. Thankfully, my vote is in God. Think about it, after a long history of worship in which he did everything from walk with and talk with, to command, demand, and destroy, he still had to send down His Son, and He had to die, because we could not and would not “get it”. Just imagine, and then you might understand why politics is folly. Still, politics is like a sport. In that vein, it is fun to watch, should one have the capacity for pleasurable pursuits.
Be well, be kind, love, and forgive. But, leave me alone! (for a little while, please?) :p
It is not perfect, nor will it ever be. It is getting better. I am looking for and finding little bits of hope. Hope from and in other people, hope in the world, and hope in myself. Little signs that the world has a touch of grace which cannot be undone, love which will not end, and things, places, and people who do appreciate goodness, the wholesome, the right, and the true, even if, and quite often, not in just the manner in which I understand these notions. Yes, a certain amount of personal “gold” does equal (if a larger amount necessary) a certain amount of personal silver. A spiritual diamond has a similar valuation to a particular assessment of spiritual property (location, location, location!). So, there is a wealth of the finite, a richness of human nature, and a fortune in religious devotedness out there. I can see the shine of these, even if the truly mundane wine, gold, and beauty have lost their sweet, lustrous, fascinating hold on me at even a reasonable and righteous level.
I have been watching politics. There is no one I could recommend out there, none of the front runners or favored dark horses for certain. As I have said, what I see is Democratic politicians, all. Clintons in drag, or not so much. Yet, I have not vested my hopes in man, so politics has become quite a bore. Even allowing for minor skepticisms, what hope does man really have in men? If that is all there is, then surely we are doomed. Thankfully, my vote is in God. Think about it, after a long history of worship in which he did everything from walk with and talk with, to command, demand, and destroy, he still had to send down His Son, and He had to die, because we could not and would not “get it”. Just imagine, and then you might understand why politics is folly. Still, politics is like a sport. In that vein, it is fun to watch, should one have the capacity for pleasurable pursuits.
Be well, be kind, love, and forgive. But, leave me alone! (for a little while, please?) :p
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Life as it stands.
First, thank you, dear readers, for being there in my moments of doubt. I apologize for not having posted your comments. I must have read the email postings and just thought I had posted them, mistakenly through my exhaustion and fugue. Your words and advice are welcome. Your care and concern is appreciated. And your nature allows the small light of faith in man I yet retain to stay lit, grow a bit, and be warming, hopefully to one day be more fully shared than what I am able on this day to do. Thank you.
I still have not completed a few safety details. In honesty, I am not sure they will work and they are expensive. I feel aggravated and agitated, unable to sleep I am becoming less able to function. I will have to find some relief, somehow, yet cannot seem to trust what to do or who to trust. It is not so much a fear of the loss of goods or even death. Beside being insured, material goods really are not my main focus. And death, as has been noted here previously, is not something which would even hurt my feelings so long as I tried to survive (though, if someone “kills” me, I hope they do it right this time and lop off my head for surety, I do not want to come back again). Some of the few things I have and that I truly enjoy might be missed, but not so much as for the loss to be even cried about (whining would be ok). It is the sense of loss of security in a general manner, of potential pain , and perhaps a fear of having to kill someone. I do not mind killing, yet I know there are costs associated with it, costs to include a set of bones rattling in a closet full of ghosts (from many and varied sources) already keeping me awake some nights, or hiding even inside my sleep. As well, my general ability to trust anyone or anything or any system has declined. All added, I am in a miserable state and am possibly unable to fix it without intervention. Yes, being a psychic gimp has some serious downsides.
On the up side, I still enjoy those with whom I come into contact, as I may. I still enjoy the school work, if paranoia has lessened my ability to trust even my professor, his testing methods, and his intentions (a professor could easily see my strengths and weakness and test against these, score more harshly (if ever so slightly), and dump even the (not that I am, but) most intelligent, hard working, ethical student in his class if he or the system he is a part of, decide to do so). I think I will enjoy learning about the router, setting it up, and then living in some safety this way. I might also enjoy (though not the expense of obtaining) a software security suite which really works, setting it up, and the security of having it working.
Beyond, and just for kicks, I will probably buy another computer game. I have heard Halo 3 is too linear, X-box lackadaisical (intellectual challenge is 3rd grade), and typical, so I am not sure where to go for entertainment. I just finished Tomb Raider: Anniversary, and the time trials within the game, so it is time to seek a new challenge. It was a decent game, if keyboarding was a bit (very) tricky and required changing the controls from one type of activity to another (then remember if the change had been made before leaping to the safety of... urhm, falling to my death, arghhh). Though it was rather linear, following Laura is one of those little joys, being the man and boy I am. Quality wasted time is always rewarding, or some such nonsense.
Oh, I have been in many debates regarding marriage, family life in America, and other related topics recently. One of my critiques is the disinterest of American women in having babies. Should you wish to be a father, and your wife be a typical ‘American Woman’, I have done the homework and have a solution. My guess is this would be quite cheap and very sure, legally (compared to, you guessed it, American women). There is a place where you can find out more, here.
I am surely planning on leaving in August. There is nothing in Sodom and Gomorrah which binds me, I am not welcome, and I do not fit. Beyond, the education system seems more of a purification of Sodomite and Gomorrahan “ethics” than an escape from them. Christians are recommended to be quiet about their views, as are patriots, real (constitutionally enumerated) rights activists, and sound (fiscally conservative) proponents. This, of course, means any moral coding from those sources must be not only silenced, but set aside. As one who cannot and will not do so, I am alone in a sea of evil intent. What is said, done, and seen in Sodom, stays in Sodom, or so the banner reads. Thankfully, I do not abide by Swahili. I do not believe I will reveal where I am going, and it is not where I had anticipated. As well, I may end my blog. I am unsure about the last. If I can not be extremely secure in whatever method of access to the internet available to me, I will no longer participate.
All in all, it is not bad. I still do trust God. I do trust some men. And I know, however this whole ball of wax called human existence goes and then ends, there can be only one. Only one winner that is. This, aside from all the chaos, illusion, and cacophonic whispering to the otherwise, has never been in doubt. Neither this fact nor Who will win have ever been a doubt that is more than just a hope for the damned, a lament in moments of weakness for the faithful, and a cause for the dark periods of man’s history here on earth. Time will not tell, I will, however, repeat, simply what is: God will win. As well, I am not just a cheerleader, if I may also not be a regular attendant. I attend where I am, as I may, how I know I should, and I know solace in this if regret at being too broken to fully, or more fully, participate in respecting His day in the company of others. I only hope that I may please He Who is forever mature, my Father, Brother, and the Spirit.
I still have not completed a few safety details. In honesty, I am not sure they will work and they are expensive. I feel aggravated and agitated, unable to sleep I am becoming less able to function. I will have to find some relief, somehow, yet cannot seem to trust what to do or who to trust. It is not so much a fear of the loss of goods or even death. Beside being insured, material goods really are not my main focus. And death, as has been noted here previously, is not something which would even hurt my feelings so long as I tried to survive (though, if someone “kills” me, I hope they do it right this time and lop off my head for surety, I do not want to come back again). Some of the few things I have and that I truly enjoy might be missed, but not so much as for the loss to be even cried about (whining would be ok). It is the sense of loss of security in a general manner, of potential pain , and perhaps a fear of having to kill someone. I do not mind killing, yet I know there are costs associated with it, costs to include a set of bones rattling in a closet full of ghosts (from many and varied sources) already keeping me awake some nights, or hiding even inside my sleep. As well, my general ability to trust anyone or anything or any system has declined. All added, I am in a miserable state and am possibly unable to fix it without intervention. Yes, being a psychic gimp has some serious downsides.
On the up side, I still enjoy those with whom I come into contact, as I may. I still enjoy the school work, if paranoia has lessened my ability to trust even my professor, his testing methods, and his intentions (a professor could easily see my strengths and weakness and test against these, score more harshly (if ever so slightly), and dump even the (not that I am, but) most intelligent, hard working, ethical student in his class if he or the system he is a part of, decide to do so). I think I will enjoy learning about the router, setting it up, and then living in some safety this way. I might also enjoy (though not the expense of obtaining) a software security suite which really works, setting it up, and the security of having it working.
Beyond, and just for kicks, I will probably buy another computer game. I have heard Halo 3 is too linear, X-box lackadaisical (intellectual challenge is 3rd grade), and typical, so I am not sure where to go for entertainment. I just finished Tomb Raider: Anniversary, and the time trials within the game, so it is time to seek a new challenge. It was a decent game, if keyboarding was a bit (very) tricky and required changing the controls from one type of activity to another (then remember if the change had been made before leaping to the safety of... urhm, falling to my death, arghhh). Though it was rather linear, following Laura is one of those little joys, being the man and boy I am. Quality wasted time is always rewarding, or some such nonsense.
Oh, I have been in many debates regarding marriage, family life in America, and other related topics recently. One of my critiques is the disinterest of American women in having babies. Should you wish to be a father, and your wife be a typical ‘American Woman’, I have done the homework and have a solution. My guess is this would be quite cheap and very sure, legally (compared to, you guessed it, American women). There is a place where you can find out more, here.
I am surely planning on leaving in August. There is nothing in Sodom and Gomorrah which binds me, I am not welcome, and I do not fit. Beyond, the education system seems more of a purification of Sodomite and Gomorrahan “ethics” than an escape from them. Christians are recommended to be quiet about their views, as are patriots, real (constitutionally enumerated) rights activists, and sound (fiscally conservative) proponents. This, of course, means any moral coding from those sources must be not only silenced, but set aside. As one who cannot and will not do so, I am alone in a sea of evil intent. What is said, done, and seen in Sodom, stays in Sodom, or so the banner reads. Thankfully, I do not abide by Swahili. I do not believe I will reveal where I am going, and it is not where I had anticipated. As well, I may end my blog. I am unsure about the last. If I can not be extremely secure in whatever method of access to the internet available to me, I will no longer participate.
All in all, it is not bad. I still do trust God. I do trust some men. And I know, however this whole ball of wax called human existence goes and then ends, there can be only one. Only one winner that is. This, aside from all the chaos, illusion, and cacophonic whispering to the otherwise, has never been in doubt. Neither this fact nor Who will win have ever been a doubt that is more than just a hope for the damned, a lament in moments of weakness for the faithful, and a cause for the dark periods of man’s history here on earth. Time will not tell, I will, however, repeat, simply what is: God will win. As well, I am not just a cheerleader, if I may also not be a regular attendant. I attend where I am, as I may, how I know I should, and I know solace in this if regret at being too broken to fully, or more fully, participate in respecting His day in the company of others. I only hope that I may please He Who is forever mature, my Father, Brother, and the Spirit.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Internet Security
I have been doing my homework. First thing, there are no silver bullets, there is no totally safe environment in which to interact with the internet. Jackers, hackers, jokers, and fools rule those waves. However, there is more secure and less secure. Hardware wise, one of the better tools with which to enhance security is a device called a router. Wired routers are more secure, having both a software and hardwired firewall and no external method which could be used to suppress or hack the security easily. It is not 100%, it is only a more secure than most method of internet usage. The next most secure tool is the wireless router. This is not as secure because anyone with a computer containing a wireless access device can, over time, hack into this. They do, however, need to be relatively close and have lots of time. There are several pluses and minuses for each type of router. Just make sure you inquire about which system the router uses, one is quite weak, the other is a great deal better.
The next thing to be examined is software. With the majority of systems working with Windows in it’s many varietals, hackers target this OS far more than other systems. As well, code is written for Microsoft’s e-mail software, browser, and all other of it’s internet tools. Beyond, Microsoft is so viciously proprietary that third party security is not able to maintain real security, third party programmers do not really know what they are working with. Microsoft, itself, not being a security specialist, does a poor job of enabling it’s own security systems within reasonable specs. If one were into conspiracy theories, one might just suspect Microsoft is using this specifically for it’s own power and money grab. It seems to have eaten even a multi-state state’s attorney general lawsuit like popcorn. I await the final analysis of the final turf battle in Europe. It’s more difficult to blackmail, bribe, or coerce 15,000 middle and upper level bureaucrats than it is to do the same to a few attorney generals (or their handlers, more likely). Of course, I would never believe such a thing about such a wonderful and liberal company. No sir-e Bob.
Anyway, the software section boils down to a change in OS (operating system), which might also mean a change in hardware. Most people have older machines, so that might not be necessary. Linux, since it is non-proprietary (mostly, and free-ware that is), does not always support the newest, fastest, and best computing hardware or peripherals. The community eventually codes for it, but the lag can be significant (or it might not ever happen, should protocols pertaining to the computer device change in the usual wait period (think cassette tape to cd). Linux is not only more secure, it is also less frequently hacked for a dozen (seemingly) reasons. From the complexity to the rarity of use, Linux is safer.
So, if you want to secure your internet use (and privacy, credit cards, etc.), then at a minimum, a router is for you. This costs, as I said, about $40 at a Best Buy or other such store near you. Installation, if you are not a do-it-yourselfer, costs in the neighborhood of $50-$80 (with inflation, that’s like, what, 20 pesos? Oh, do not cry, I did not mean it). Second, if you have some money (I’m thinking $400-$600 straight out or as little as, maybe, $25 a month for forever), a little energy, the time to learn, and like to learn, then perhaps you should consider a Linux machine as well.
As for me, I am getting a router Tuesday (probably going to install myself). As well, I will be buying a Linux machine soon. It is difficult to find a manufacturer which offers this out of the box (a Linux pre-installed or OS free laptop), but I will be twisting arms over the phone and storming offices and mall outlets soon. I certainly will not be paying for the failed and fragile Microwimp system that has so obviously, frequently, and terribly failed me in the past. Either I get a machine with NO OS or with Linux, period.
Now, to get some cameras in my home, a change of locks, and a few other things (like a means of recording long term intervals of decent quality video from several cameras) going. It's a pain, and becoming expensive, but it is one time and should take care of my peace of mind, if nothing else. I cannot function well if I do not feel safe, or at least on top of insecurities such as these. Be well.
The next thing to be examined is software. With the majority of systems working with Windows in it’s many varietals, hackers target this OS far more than other systems. As well, code is written for Microsoft’s e-mail software, browser, and all other of it’s internet tools. Beyond, Microsoft is so viciously proprietary that third party security is not able to maintain real security, third party programmers do not really know what they are working with. Microsoft, itself, not being a security specialist, does a poor job of enabling it’s own security systems within reasonable specs. If one were into conspiracy theories, one might just suspect Microsoft is using this specifically for it’s own power and money grab. It seems to have eaten even a multi-state state’s attorney general lawsuit like popcorn. I await the final analysis of the final turf battle in Europe. It’s more difficult to blackmail, bribe, or coerce 15,000 middle and upper level bureaucrats than it is to do the same to a few attorney generals (or their handlers, more likely). Of course, I would never believe such a thing about such a wonderful and liberal company. No sir-e Bob.
Anyway, the software section boils down to a change in OS (operating system), which might also mean a change in hardware. Most people have older machines, so that might not be necessary. Linux, since it is non-proprietary (mostly, and free-ware that is), does not always support the newest, fastest, and best computing hardware or peripherals. The community eventually codes for it, but the lag can be significant (or it might not ever happen, should protocols pertaining to the computer device change in the usual wait period (think cassette tape to cd). Linux is not only more secure, it is also less frequently hacked for a dozen (seemingly) reasons. From the complexity to the rarity of use, Linux is safer.
So, if you want to secure your internet use (and privacy, credit cards, etc.), then at a minimum, a router is for you. This costs, as I said, about $40 at a Best Buy or other such store near you. Installation, if you are not a do-it-yourselfer, costs in the neighborhood of $50-$80 (with inflation, that’s like, what, 20 pesos? Oh, do not cry, I did not mean it). Second, if you have some money (I’m thinking $400-$600 straight out or as little as, maybe, $25 a month for forever), a little energy, the time to learn, and like to learn, then perhaps you should consider a Linux machine as well.
As for me, I am getting a router Tuesday (probably going to install myself). As well, I will be buying a Linux machine soon. It is difficult to find a manufacturer which offers this out of the box (a Linux pre-installed or OS free laptop), but I will be twisting arms over the phone and storming offices and mall outlets soon. I certainly will not be paying for the failed and fragile Microwimp system that has so obviously, frequently, and terribly failed me in the past. Either I get a machine with NO OS or with Linux, period.
Now, to get some cameras in my home, a change of locks, and a few other things (like a means of recording long term intervals of decent quality video from several cameras) going. It's a pain, and becoming expensive, but it is one time and should take care of my peace of mind, if nothing else. I cannot function well if I do not feel safe, or at least on top of insecurities such as these. Be well.
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