No cabbage.

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Must have forgotten that on the list.  There was kale... really good for soup.  Well, other than tasting of green ass.  Eating isn't all about taste, the texture of kale holds in liquid meals.  Although it just didn't matter.  I can't digest food.  I realized this yesterday, which is why I added an a. c. vinegar ketonic, it sometimes helps.  Not this time.  Nothing is moving, bloat.  My guess?  The pancakes yesterday.  Stupid, especially since I don't like pancakes... it was a pout consumption that wasn't necessary.

The crazy thing?  While I can't eat much, my blood sugar is rising.  Neither can I drink much.  Everything is just sitting in there.  The soup wasn't bad, if nothing to write home about.  I need to track down the Olive Garden kale soup recipe.  That is fantastic. If I could figure it out, I'd make it in a big batch and freeze some.  This... sigh.  Though, when feeling full, over full, nothing tastes all that good.

I am hoping to finish dishes.  I've kept up on prep cleanup, so it's just the dishes... plus what was soaking.  I am not sure it is possible.  Remember waddling around after Thanksgiving?  Imagine becoming such a lightweight that four hundred calories could do that to you.  Right.  Rude.

The ducks have been watered twice, the girls fed and treated.  Hmm, should check their litter.  Again?  Even if a second time, clean litter is as good for me as them.

Maybe a nap first.  Later.

Pots and pans.

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Mine are commercial sizes, twenty to thirty quart, heavy stainless... some of it tri-ply metal.  Cleaning one at a time is reasonable.  Cleaning three at a time, especially when greasy, is a trick.  Still, almost done.  After, or while rinsing the last, I will pull one in order to steam burger, cabbage, and maybe carrots, as I fry mushrooms on the side.  Heck of a job.

I washed the stove top, and one other flat surface.  I just can't push through as I would like.  Definitely hungry, so am trying.  I'll get an apple cider vinegar, then fatted tea, ketonic while I work at working.  The plan is to steam the cabbage and maybe carrots, cook the meat in the basin, then mix it all with a pint of broth and water... adding a cup of cream to finish it off.  Mushrooms?  Half in the soup, half on the side?  Sounds good. If the side 'shrooms might not make it to the table.  Hmm, if I have spinach, I may add some right at the end... fresh spinach, julliened.  Frozen spinach always seems... wrong.

Still very tired.  Did reset meds.  I am going to try one more tab of carvedilol, at night when it is less likely to disturb sleep.  That is as much as I dare.  It increases the risk of falling off medicine and makes getting back up to dose much more precarious.  Still... I will try this one last step.

So hungry.  So tired.  Things to do.  Later.

Sleep is so demanding.

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I was to bed at 17:36.  I looked, focused while looking, then checked one more time.  As tired as I have been, it doesn't always stick in memory anyway.  Exhausted worse than I can remember.  My innards are sore too.  Blood sugar is 177 this morning, down twenty two from yesterday fasting.  Breakfast may bring it down ten to forty points.

Oh, fasting?  I will start that tomorrow.  I still have meat thawed, and want to try cabbage, mixed burger, and broth.  It took longer to cool the broth than expected.  Actually, it was still so hot by noon that I set it in the wash tub, ran cold water, then added ice.  It still took an hour and eight to ten pounds of ice.  I got nineteen pints of the thicker form of broth... jelly at fridge temp and colder.

Everything from yesterday is being soaked.  I redid the hot soapy soak first thing this morning.  Up at 6:00 to 6:30.  I will take aspirin this morning, extra.  Everything is just a bit grumpy, bodily.  I added in most of the last of the dishes.  I won't add glass until the fat has been well ridded... impossible to get fat off the inside of half gallon jugs!

Beside dishes, I'll finish laundry, make several meals, hopefully hit the bathroom early, then take a shower?  Two days in a row?  When I can! Even if it is hard on the body, I'd bath or shower five days a week if I could.  So the rare times I can hit it twice in a row, I will.  Notice it is last on the list though?  Yea, we will see.

Get to it peeps... burning daylight, or will be.

Teach as taught.

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I did know her name, at once.  Just no longer.

So dark.

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Ducks and the girls, food and all.  They are so pleased when tended.  I really hope to get a spycam out so I can watch the ducks play.  The girls let me know, or I can watch them play.  When the fence is installed I will be able to watch the ducks a bit more, perhaps even sit out with them, read in the fresh air.

The chia seed was just fine after soaking for twenty four and more hours.  It needed more milk, as it had solidified too much.  It tasted fresh.  I may begin doing that regularly, as I think it digests better.  And I don't have to wait an hour.  I am going to try soaking enough for two or three days, see how that works.  It would sure be easier.

Socks are nearly done.  Beside what was washed, I had unmatched groups to go through.  Quite a lot was sorted.  It's been a year since I bothered with unmatched socks.  Still have many singles, if not a whole box... perhaps a quarter of that.  Year?  Hmm... years.

Another cup of broth.  Superior stuff.  And it warmed me like liquid fire.  As alcohol seems to, if I think in a better way.  No vascular et. al. expansion.  It just adds fuel to cells to burn immediately, especially since by body is adjusted to burn fat.  *zoom zoom*  Blood sugar was high today because, having forgotten why my blood sugar was so high yesterday, partly depressed from the news, I had a breakfast out, including pancakes and syrup.  It was 197 fasting, but dropped twenty and change after the various foods after an hour and more.

I am quite warm, almost overheating.  But it isn't rising blood sugar as one might think, as I suspected so checked.  If it really is just my body burning fuel, that's a good sign.  Although, cooling down a bit, soon, would be good.  I'm not sweating or anything, the heat is all on the inside.  Hmm... a jug of cold tea might help?  If sometimes that makes it worse.

A nap, or in a bit?  Maybe.  Later.

A long sleep.

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To bed early.  I can only guess, if I believe shortly after 16:00, definitely before 17:00?  Almost certainly, if absolutely before 17:15.  I woke to a gunshot at some time in the middle of the night... distant not close as has been the case.  Just a dream?  I never will be certain.  I woke later, around 3:30, but couldn't remain awake.  Up at 6:30ish.

Before letting the bone broth cool, I am heating to medium without the lid, in an attempt to ensure health issues.  Probably not needed, it has maintained a slow boil all night, still...  After the timer goes off, I will turn it off, move it to a different, cold, burner, then let it quietly get to room temp.  I might pull some for a cup of butter and cream broth.  There is something about rich fresh bone broth that can't be beat.  Most moderns have absolutely no idea what they are missing.

Talked myself right into a broth bomb.  Delicious!

I am hoping to get back to work today.  The last few days have been heavy, so no promises.  And, yet, there is hope.  I dressed warm, still being clean, and along with the broth will test the chia seed stuff, see if overnight soaking works.  If not, I will make a fresh bowl.  Ducks then girls in an hour, right as I turn the broth off.

Laundry for certain, it just needs folded.  If I must sit, that is still doable.  The last of the dishes, cleaning surfaces, trash roundup, and sorting in the living room and kitchen are the main push today and tomorrow.  The only thing for Sunday is cleaning the bathroom as needed and then some.  It's fairly clean and yet I want to double down on it.

My word, I may have another cup of that stuff!  Later.

A long complicated trip.

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I didn't leave until after 7:00.  Then I noticed some trouble with the vehicle.  Extra drag, some system off that should be on.  No time to fuss, if I did drive slower.  Then, nearly there, I noticed the vehicle was stuck in 4-low.  How was that even possible?  It is only supposed to go into 4-low if geared in 3-low on the transmission.

No time.  I got in, went to lab, then to my appointment.  Some horse trading, we will see.  Blood pressure and sugar are high, though with blood sugar that was expected.  Eating fast food, while required, Iknew would raise a1c.  But with fasting and keto it should come down.  BP is another matter.

The last few days, blood sugar has been just a bit high... in the 140's~150's.  As with vets, lookat any known changes in diet.  Anything?  Yep!  Zylotol gum.  I've been testing it, but forgot.  Just afew pieces will raise it.  I was hoping to use it more regularly but no.  I will use it, one piece, after apple cider ketonics.  It will readjust spit to the correct acidity after that.  Also good after lemon, lime, pickled items, and so on... for teeth health.  Now I know, about blood sugar problems and not to use commonly or in any volume... just another medicine.

The broth continues.  It will be quite thick.  Lots of collogen, and else.  It won't honestly be all that tasty, butter cream, and salt will sort that part.  But it will be an excellent food for ending a fast and creating gravies, soups, and stews.  I am excited to have this almost back in... stock!  I'll let it cook over night, at a lower temp.  I hope to let it cool as I wake and probably to noon, then portion it into containers, most to be frozen.  One left out for use, some that day.

Oh, I stopped at a Midas.  The guy drove back and forward, as I had.  Then he cranked the wheel and pushed reverse solidly.  Back out and running right.  No charge?  I gave him every bit of cash I had.  Not much, wished I had more, grateful.  I embarrassed the guy.  No bear hugs, just... gratitude.

Girls and ducks were tended first thing.  I may crash shortly.  Later or good night.

Up, rather early.

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Up later last night.  Driving lesson, some cleaning, then a start on the kit computer, all taking me well past 19:00, probably at least to if more likely past 20:00... I know I looked, but can't remember the last time.  I set the alarm for this morning.  Without realizing that clock was an hour fast, I ended waking an hour early.  Better this way than the other, but there would have been room either way.

I did set bone broth to stew last night.  Turned it to low last night, and left it going.  It had lost very little water, on low with the lid on, through the night.  This morning I turned the heat up and took the lid off, just for a bit.  It will take at least through the day, maybe part of tomorrow.  I would like to see about the meat, but can't today.  Next time.  I used some lamb bones and pork hocks, but mostly ox tail.  No veggies or salt, and of course reverse osmosis water.  It should be done tonight or tomorrow morning.  Perhaps this weekend I will do chicken broth.  My next extended fast will be broken in style.

Bills were paid yesterday.  Mortgage and phone still require manual involvement.  Not this month, but next, I'd like to get a car wash pass.  There are always little things to do or on a list.  Almost all involve money, energy, and or time, some or all of which I don't have.  I get to things eventually, if they are truly needed or wanted and affordable.  Eventually.

Hmm.  So much for hot cereal.  I was able to get a room temp breakfast.  With the half hour soaking time and cold cream, it just won't work as I had planned.  All good, live and learn.  I ended with far too much cereal.  I have heard it can be left to soak overnight.  While that isn't my case exactly, as it is morning and will be finished later today, I will finally get to test the general idea.

A shower, air dry time, then on to my day.  I am tempted to try to salvage some of the meat, but a) time really slips when doing odd tasks and b) I suspect it is already overcooked from running overnight.  It is good up to six hours, or so I have heard, but has been going for nine or ten.  No.  Just a shower, morning routines, then to it.  Later.

A better morning.

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It is cold, blustery, a hard winter morning.  Yes, that means windy.  The thermometer reads 20, give or take five.  But that wind, if not extremely fast, is fast enough and a solid wall of moving air.  I'd peg windchill at -20 to 0, F.  I added leaves and straw, one more bag of leaves and a quarter, fifth perhaps, bail of hay remains.  Should do well till spring.  I just, mostly, pile it in.  The quackles know what to do.  I am down to the last of the regular feed, perhaps a third to quarter bag, before I begin the feed without corn or soy.  The girls have been tended, including litter.

Breakfast was good enough.  I wasn't up to warming the chia seed mix.  After, I realized there is a better way.  Since I am using water for soaking, just boil the water rather than heating the mess in a pot, or even microwave bowl.  A few eggs on the side, several fatted teas, not bad.  It does take a couple hours to eat breakfast.  Not because I am a slow eater, it is getting that much fat down that slows it all.  Initially it is easy... once you finally believe you should.  After a while it becomes seriously difficult.

Feeding blood sugar, an hour and an half after the main portions were eaten, is 128, a nineteen point from fasting.  As reasonable as that seems, is... I had hoped for a lower read.  Ask not, get not.  These numbers are so good.  I would still like them better.  They will be.  With keto, fasting, and perhaps intermittent fasting again soon, I will only improve.  Down to 80 to 100, mostly.

No great pains, some.  I will take aspirin to cut the edge.  More to develop a better chance at working than for the suffering alone.  The goals remain... dishes, laundry, though the bedroom instead of the kitchen and livingroom.  The freestanding closet should be in today, the wire cage organizer should be in Friday.  I would like to be ready, mostly.

We will see.  It feels like a slow day, but not am impossible one.  I sure hope to get most of the list done.  Maybe shopping too?  Or, not.  Later.

Awake, hoping to get to work.

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Down around 16:30, up at 2:00 or so.  It was a struggle to stay awake that late and to wake.  The body is good, it's the mind that is tired.  Fasting blood sugar was 147.  Higher than hoped but below the running averages.  The general average is now below before and after meal averages, and the after meal average is lower than the before meal average?  Weird but true.  Then, I have noticed, eating the right foods does lower blood sugar a lot if after a rather slight upward bump.  Still, it seems so strange.

I am soaking 'cereal'.  I plan to heat it this morning, for the first time.  Along with a few cold hard boiled eggs and a hot fatted tea, it should do well.  Later, boiled mixed meat burger patties, with cheese and steamed carrots.  I think I am out of cabbage or similar.  I need to shop.  Kale, cabbage, mushrooms, salad fixings, perhaps a few other such.  I need to research which olive oils are real.  Many seem to be mixes of real, but with sun or safflower, canola, or other unhealthy oils.  As well, I'd like to see about larger, locally available, avocado oil.  Look, the stuff seems to work.

And odd thing.  I have been practicing layering this year.  Base layers, mid layers, top layers, even sock combinations.  All to include dry and wet wear and materials.  A recent find was that cotton socks under wool socks was extremely warm.  Far too warm for inside with a furnace going.  Now, with cotton being poor when wet, worse than poor, it would be no good in snow or rain.  However, in camp, dry and sheltered, I do believe it would be exemplary.  I only tried it to be contranarian.  Good to go against the grain at time.

Beside getting back to work today, I am going to brew bone broth.  I have decided to continue fasting, next time this Thursday or Friday to Sunday or Monday.  I want to try bone broth during the fast, though definitely want it for after.  Plus I want it for gravy and soups.  After the beef and lamb, I will make chicken stock.  Oh yes, the stuff is quite good, and for you.

It always sounded a bit... witchy... bone broth.  Probably because it was usually poor, half crazy, widows who most often consume it.  Odd how I have no real financial depravity, but culinary and health reasoning.  Makes me take a second gander at other long held notions, about other topics... me pretties!  Hehehe  *cackles* :P

Breakfast time.  Good morning and day.

No nap after all.

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Though I didn't crash I also haven't done much.  I boiled, peeled, and am eating a few of those eggs.  As well, an apple cider ketonic.  I'll have a fatted tea after.  Blood sugar climbed to 134, actually from not eating... go figure.  Which is why I'm eating.  Oh, but I found a book of interest... "Solitary Fitness".

The book fits, if for a different reason.  The author, Charles Bronson, is or was a career criminal.  He was often consigned to solitary confinement for violence against pretty much anyone he could get his hands on.  While our confinement is for different reasons, often it might as well be the same.

It is a book about getting in shape and keeping in shape without anything but one's own mass, gravity, and the will to it.  It may not be possible.  If there is a chance though, this is as good of an opportunity as there is, for me.  To be honest, it would take busting mackerels.  I'm not sure I have that.  We will see.

I'll start with just stretches and warmups, see where that gets me.  I'd like to delve past that section.  Go a good bit further, perhaps finish the book first, in order to begin developing a game plan, back up plans, and failsafes.  I might be able to get there.  I am eating the right foods, sleeping better, on meds.  I'm as beginning stage fit as possible.

It looks like visitors are going away.  Thankfully I don't write for that.  It just... I am surprised I have visitors at all.  Not sure anyone reads?  Just noticed.  Solitary.  Later.

A rough day.

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So tired.   All I have done is eaten and not slept.  Hmm, though I did do the drying, fed and watered the critters, and had breakfast.  I just took an after meal blood read, 119.  Amazes me.  I keep expecting a huge jump, not sure why not.  Maybe the fasting does a harder reset, truly.  While I suggest that, and it works especially when fasting multiple days several times in a row, it still seems strange that I eat the same food to such different results.

I may have to nap.  So very tired.  It snowed, which froze to even the driveway.  It is dark.  Though the cold is mostly dry again.  I just can't bull through today again, if I hope a simple nap will do.  I've been taking medicine well, for what good that is doing. Yeah, a nap.

Later.

Not all as planned, but extra extra.

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No more dishes.  Laundry, the last of it, was dried... or set to dry.  I will run it for thirty minutes this morning to fluff and warm.  As well, the last two loads prior wait impatiently to be folded and put up.  I did roast the turkey leg.  Quite good.  I have a slice left.  I am thinking that heated, with eggs on the side, would make for a superior breakfast.

The extra extras were getting out for driving practice, and staying up to nearly 18:00.  Oh, I was tired all day.  Drop off a cliff tired.  But I pushed through.  I didn't like any part of it.  Simply I want my days back.  I have two appointments this week I mean to keep.  And as spring rolls in, I am hoping to get out in it more.  With being forced to get out for the ducks, the temptation for more is strong.  Even in the winter, it just hasn't been a good winter for it.  I want to get out and spring is it.

Today?  Finishing dishes and laundry then tearing into the living room and kitchen table.  As well, perhaps sorting in my bedroom.  I have organizing pieces arriving later this week.  More of those wire cubes and a standing covered closet.  I'll have to open up space in my room, and secure these to the walls.  What is being moved will end up in these storage systems, so it's a bit of a trick.

I always worry when I begin eating again, what blood sugar will do.  So far?  Fasting draw is 132.  That's definitely the best fasting draw since before I ran out of medication and it all fell apart.  My total average, if coming down fast, is 162.  And that isn't far from the high and low of before and after meal averages... which are about ten points either way of the general average.  Lowering all together, in a stable concise pattern.  Well done.

I guess that is all good.  Later.

Screw that.

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Still exhausted but refusing to surrender, again.  I think it's the dark.  Well, and a special sort of cold.  It is warmer, drifting from rain to slush now to snow.  Even so, it has been above freezing.  But that thaw and precipitation means a moist cold which, to me, is much colder.  Would I get frostbite or hypothermia faster?  I actually do believe so.

Anyway, I am refusing to fall to it.  I may not be moving fast, but I am moving.  I dealt with quackles and pusses... I suppose I could get their litter again.  Trash and recycling were taken out before six.  While salting the drive and walk, I checked the barrels.  The trash was empty, so I walked it back, but the recycling was untouched.  I hope... it's full.

The last load of laundry is drying.  I am hoping to get the rest of the dishes gathered and soaking, then hit the counters and stove.  Then I can start sorting in the living room and the kitchen table.  Tomorrow or the next day, if this dark weird weather continues.  I may have to take longer to finish things.  Not quitting doesn't mean it won't be difficult.

Worried about blood sugar, I tested anyway.  Several fatted teas, chia nut breakfast, pickles and olives, oh, and cheese sticks.  I'm really hungry for meat.  Most of what was put out is thawed.  What I keep eyeing with relish is that turkey drumstick.  It's as long as my forearm, and mind you I am nigh on a giant... with a girth greater than my calf, nearing my mid-thigh!  It came from a 70 pound turkey which barely waddled it's way to the winner circle.  Oh, blood sugar is 108!

I'll keep at things, as well as able.  I am not going to give in, not that easily.  Later.

Fried.

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So very tired.  Unbelievably exhausted.  I did shower and shave, cycled the socks, fed the cats, made tea, and had breakfast.  Fasting blood sugar was 165 and after food is 125.  I was worried, that blood sugar had jumped.  I still need to be cautious but it is good, for now.  I may start using mostly water in the chia seed soak, adding a cup of cream for the fats, more fats.  Raw is where it's at.

I best get trash and recycling out.  I have one more bag to go out, but am otherwise set.  After, I'll cycle laundry, set up dishes, and wash surfaces, perhaps the last load will be done so finish laundry, feed the critters, then crash.  So very tired though.  Later.

Nap?

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That was the theory.  Some time between 9:00 and 10:00 I went in  and slept.  I woke a time or two, my mom called and we spoke, but until 22:00 I otherwise slept.  Yeah, tired.  Fasting just caught up to me.  That is my guess.  All good.  I am awake in good enough time to get trash and recycling out.  I'll finish laundry.  Knowing I was crashing, not able to mess with hanging socks, I just reset the dryer to fluff the wool socks.  Could be dry.

A shave and shower first thing.  Air drying, not completely naked, I'm just not a nudist, even back in my prime.  I just hate fully dressing until I dry of a bit, especially the feet.  Furnace is up, should be dry, dressed, and at things within the hour.  I might have breakfast right away.

Wow, heck of a sleep.  I have been, for me, pushing work.  I needed sleep, might even go back to bed after getting refuse out and to the curb and laundry done, well and maybe setting up a last load of dishes and cleaning the stove and counters?   We'll see.  It would be good to have those parts out of the way.

Yeah, breakfast.  Which reminds me, I need sausage and bacon.  I go with plain ground pork, because I haven't found sausage made without sugar.  If I had more going, I would spice and case my own.  An excellent spice mix without sugar is easy.  It must be the government pushing sugar on manufacturing.  That farm bill?  Right.

Later.

Dark out there.

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Sure it is winter.  Yes it is overcast.  But today is a special blend of the two.  I kept wondering if the clock was off.  Nope.  All good.  We have had a rather pleasant winter, so hard dark is almost a surprise.  At least it is beautiful.  As hard as life can be, it is good to enjoy the really good things.

The ducks have been fed and watered, cats too.  The laundry has been cycled.  The woolens will take forever to dry as they get no heat.  I may pull out the rack if this first go gets them close, hang them to dry.  And the last load of laundry has been set to wash.  A shave soon, then shower.  I have emptied one of the two trash bins that need it, but need to put fresh bags in it.  I may begin washing coats later this week, weather treating with specialty soaps.  Yeah, I do that.  And waxing boots for spring.

Slow, doing bits of chores at a time.  Food, needed.  Blood sugar dropped to 111 three hours ago, so I decided to eat.  A fatted tea and chia seed cereal.  Two hours after eating and blood sugar reads 110.  Good enough.  Mostly fatted tea and perhaps sardines today.  I should pull meat to thaw.  Steak, now that I have relearned how to cook it, chops, and some ground meats.  Hmm, could make an egg casserole tomorrow, especially with some sort of mixed burger sausage.

Food isn't helping quite yet.  I am sure it has stopped the slide down, but isn't pulling me back up.  I may have sardines (always in olive oil, or their own juices), perhaps a cheese omelet as well.  Not hungry, in the usual way.  Just a sense that something is missing.  Well, and an empty accelerator which offers nothing when floored.

No worries, I'll keep at it.  Best take medicine and perhaps extra aspirin.  Body is cranky.  I'll keep at it.  Later.

Hitting a brick wall.

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Not a great puzzle.  Stop eating for three days while working on your household and laundry and you get what you get.  It isn't exhaustion, it is more a declining ability to act.  If you have ever driven a sharp v-8, then hopped into a four cylinder brick, you have the idea.

Laundry has been switched.  I am going to just keep washing as I cycle now.  The remaining loads are all small and easy to fold.  I should finish laundry today.  I keep thinking about getting the shave and shower, but... I'll set the alarm for an hour, then push through.  After that, probably a break, then setting up all but the cast iron in one last set of dishes.

Trash can wait, possibly until after my next wake.  If need be.  Would rather get it together and out before sleep.  Just so sluggish... keeping options open.  I may have to eat something.  If, as suggested, going to a fat fast - half normal calories, 90% fat - for several days.  I'll test blood sugar in an hour or two... thinking on the subject until then.  Procrastination can be a friend.

Oh, right, church.  I have been so off for so long I had lost track.  I started looking around.  Perhaps.  I need a few items blessed, and would like to obtain holy water and set up a few areas for that.  I even purchased sponge material to help retain that.  But more, it's a matter of confession then mass.  It's... been a while... inner and outer concerns.  But, I know.  I do.  I just can't always do much about it.  At least I know God knows.  For He knows what I know about these things, and more.

Hmm?  Later.