Pork chops and dishes.

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Well, dishes, a shower, then dishes back into the pool.  I grilled the chops.  Perfect.  Nothing with them, save fatted coffee.  Chores are next, when I can.  If I may have to do waterers before I can do chores.

I am sore, and tired, from being cold.  In spite of a shower today, three hot drinks and two hot meals, being dressed well and all, and with the furnace up to 78.  I am freezing.  It was cold, when I woke.  It was... 22 or such?  I can't remember exactly, save that it was in the lower 20s.  While grilling, it read 40 (or higher, but close).  But it is so dark, a bit windy, and just... not pleasant.

Sassy finally ate some of my food.  I think she has wanted to, but Sam owned dibs on anything I put out for them.  She was starving, no matter how much she ate, so... I think Sassy just went with it.  She understood, if she didn't always like things.  We all did what we could for Sam.  Poor dear, really.

But, with Sam gone, Sassy is still... a bit afraid of eating.  She, too, wants to make sure she isn't eating what is not allowed.  So, I am showing her the food, calling her over and showing her food.  Literally giving it to her.  Sam would take, and often not rightly.  And... often... I understood.  I know that starvation sensation.  It's been some years, for me, but... I... remember going through that.  It isn't stealing if you are starving, I'll just say that.  Might end you in prison, where you will be fed, but...

The last few days have been tough again.  Sam, on her better behavior, absolutely adored me.  Before she was ill, and even through it.  And I loved her, like a sister/daughter type.  So strange how, a dream, or a stray thought, or such, can cause tears and heartache.  More good memories, than sadness, now.  But... not fully over the hardship.  Even a devil can love?  I suppose if God calls one to more than one's nature.

Even for the tears, I thank God for the gift that was Sam.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  And, I did dream she was literally in a better place.  Doing well, younger, healthy, happy.  Greeting everyone she can.  Looking for me, if she didn't quite understand me in this form.  Another week or three and I'll be able to bury her little body.  This was her home, I just paid the bills.

Well... on to a bit of research on some things, gaming, trying to warm, and then some small works.  Have a great day.  Amen.

A bit later than hoped.

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To bed at 21:15, up to fifteen minutes later but in there.  I left the alarms at 04:00 and 06:00.  I woke at 03:50, and hoped the alarm would wake me.  The next thing I remember was hitting the snooze bar, which lights up the time, and it reading 04:30!  I must have hit the snooze at 04:00, 04:10, and 04:20 without even being awake.  So, I tried to wake up right then, as I had hoped to get up right at 04:00.  Couldn't.  It wasn't until 04:54 before I was getting up and out.  And 05:06 as I started this.

Oh, and I fixed the off clock in the kitchen.  But the little alarm style clock I keep near the computer is off, reading an hour earlier.  I have it on daylight savings, it is set to read from the nuclear laboratory in Colorado I think, not sure why it decided to be off.  Batteries need replaced?

While resetting, I was able to check.  Definitely daylight savings on.  We'll see.  If it drops an hour, again, soon, perhaps the batteries are dying.  If not, someone may have just goofed with it.  Though, usually, it will reset itself, even if someone does.  Maybe it was too close to the computer.  The computer doesn't seem to play nice with other things, these days.

Today?  A shower, almost first thing.  Breakfast may be first, but... will see.  I'll check Sassy's litter shortly.  I don't feed her for several hours, at least if I am awake early like this.  I'd like to vacuum around the place, just the easy to reach areas.  And, see if I can seal the mattress.  Then take down the metal bed base and put that in the spare room.  Chores of course.  If waterers have to be refilled.  Ugh.

And, maybe, back to sorting and boxing with a bit more thought, what is in the spare bedroom and livingroom.  Yes, I have been doing bits of that, when not being interrupted by other tasks, things that come up, side ventures, and such.  Things are being done, if not always what I had planned... usually.  Some days are simply very rough.

I am so tired.  Not sore.  I don't consciously hurt.  My hands and feet are improving.  I had let my feet go for a while, and they had become scaly, with toenails going askew, with cuticles growing straight out, like a perpendicular second toenail, they can be that hard... and they hurt.  Plus, some of the nails grow very strangely, twisting, to cut in.  

A few sessions with the feet scraper, cuticle tool, toenail clippers... the heavy duty ones, and such, and my feet are becoming happy.  Though, I think they need balm treatment just as bad as my hands had needed them.  I better order more of that stuff.  It's called Bag Balm.  

It's not a lotion, think of it more as grease, for the skin.  When oil isn't enough, grease.  And what it has done for my burned, charred, hands is... nothing short of miraculous.  I... was wondering, for a bit, if I might have to go to the hospital.  I wasn't sure the skin would come back.  There were large patches which weren't skin.  Quarter sized, and even larger irregular patches, which were just scabs.  Still not fully reskinned, but... the first few layers are back, and the tops... while a bit rough, are supple in spite of appearing slightly scaly.  Then again, I heal... abnormally well, in spite of being mostly dead to this day.  Odd.

Oh, dishes may actually have to be in the first roundup.  Not many though, just what I have used in eating and making meals these last three days.  Five or six pieces of flatwear, a few bowls, some larger utensils, a bigger pot and the frying pan which got a bit crusty browning the pork.  I overdid that just a wee, if I didn't quite burn anything.

Anyway.  I should get to that, and begin setting up breakfast.  Later.

That was a serious meal.

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The roast was as good as I can do it, given an honest piece of pork roast, fresh onion, right equipment, and such.  Juicy, a bit of crunch, mild but flavorful.  Very good.  After that, I was still hungry.  Instead of seconds, I had a salad.  With my own vinaigrette.  Very good also.  And filled just right, but not with just meat.

The thing is, I probably shouldn't have had that for lunch.  It's taking me down a notch.  Not sure I can get to much else, today.  But will try to do a few things.  So tired.  Part of it is the meal, part of it is it feels cold in here, and is a bit dark outside, again.  Adds up.

I will get that put up, though.  When, if, it is cold enough.  I don't want to waste that.  As good as I can do.  Better than I have done.  Browning it really does help.  I used tallow this time, but butter, or even a good lard, will work.  And that onion really did add to it.

I will probably cook chops tonight, or for tomorrow.  Being so thin, they will crisp and cook in just three to five per side.  I'll cook the pack, and save some for reheating, cutting off the bone, and putting on a salad.  Quite a taste treat, especially if I can heat them back to a bit of a crispy exterior... which means the slow, oven, way.  But well worth it.

I still don't know about the game.  I am doing this, that, and the other thing.  Actually, there is another mechanic I had neglected.  Because it isn't simple to use.  I really hate having to use game calculus, figure things out, then sort them out through long practice.  The game really doesn't offer the time, or opportunity.  As well, right or wrong, it can kill you before you really get a fair shot.  It cheats.  Do not believe the psychophantic game pushers you hear.  It'll cheat you dead in a heartbeat.  Getting stuck on nothing, or something that wasn't there, and has no right to be there, being pushed off things you weren't near... from strange attack mechanics, not being allowed to put up a defense even having your defenses up in advance.  No, the game cheats.  Have no doubt.

Still, that is this sort of game.  However, it should be playable.  But it's looking like a number of people are reconsidering playing.  It is asking far too much, especially from casual players.  Even heavier casual players, like me.  Still, I'm working on some things.  But... really?  Two whole mechanics required, on top of leveling self, weapons, magics, and several game systems I did know about?!?  It's a bit too complex.  If it was that, for the extras?  Okay, maybe.  But just to get through the game?

Well... back to digesting, and checking some things out.  Later.

Babysitting a roast.

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It is finally done, mostly.  It is finished cooking.  Tented, and resting, for fifteen minutes.  The smell, especially since I browned this one, and with fresh onion...  There is nothing like good food being prepared, the aroma is to die for.  The meal is more so.

How long it took?  Longer than I thought it would, this time.  The thermometer is the boss.  I pull it five degrees short of technical doneness, and let it finish while covered and resting.  But, I think it took nearly and hour and an half, at 375.  I run them a little hotter, sometimes.  Though, for no particular reason, sometimes I run them at 350, or even 320.  It almost doesn't matter what temp, as long as the meat gets to the 'clean' temp, internal, for the particular varmint.  Just... a matter of how long it takes to get there, and to a degree, how much crust it might create.

It's the only babysitting I am good at.  But anybody could do it, with simple instruction or simple knowledge, and patients.  An alarm, and a check every twenty to thirty minutes is all that is required.  Most people make better money doing other things, so there is a cost prohibition for some.

After dinner, and some digestion, I'll get a shower and attempt to tend some business.  They are pushing terribly for me to close, but... I have to make sure what I am seeing is what it is.  I'll do peripheral work, but no signing until I get that straightened out.

I will just have to go back to the old method, I had been planning.  Slowing stowing money away, taking care of little things at a time, over time.  Electrical would be first, after saving more.  Then in a year or two, furnace and central air.  Maybe, on my spending side of things, a dishwasher, and refrigerator, over that period, too.  Maybe.  Not much else.  Oh, bathroom... en suite... but that will come out of pocket, not savings.

So be it.  What will be will be.  Later.

When things fail.

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If something isn't working, I like to know why.  So, I start digging.  The game, for example.  I doubt how much anything will help, but doubt isn't a stoppage, merely a tool.  Like a hammer, you may consider it, when needing pliers or a wrench, but on reconsideration, perhaps the other tool will work best.

Doubt is set aside, and the thing reexamined.  In this case, and so far, I have found a mechanic that I had been ignoring.  There are so many and varied mechanics in the game, that... keeping up on them all is a devil's game.  It's in the details.  So, I am beginning to explore this.  It is more detailed than even first thought, and not simply applied.  Are there other systems and mechanics not found, not understood, not used?  Maybe.  But, for now, there is this one.

Next, I will reexamine spells.  Perhaps, at this level, I haven't really looked those over well enough, found many after the initial flush, etc.  When I have dabbled a bit more, and explored some other issues, I may try again.  Or... not.  If I don't think it has offered enough more capacity, I won't continue with the game.

No response from my email.  So, other than signing certain papers, I will do other things as if it was moving forward.

And, I just finished browning the pork roast, then getting it in the oven.  Salted, peppered, with garlic powder, but with an fresh onion peeled, split, and put on top.  If it gets really juicy, I'll put the onions under, and set the roast upon them.  I'm hoping an half hour, forty five minutes?  The thermometer will tell.

Then, after those things, a trip to town.  A fax to send, something to send back.  Maybe several things.  So, a shower first, I suppose.  Then, later, if possible, I'll get back to work.  Sorting boxes and items, clearing some areas, taking down the bed base and storing that.  Things... to do.  Later.

Down a bit late.

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Not terribly late.  Had a lot on my mind.  So tired though, but... my peace has been disturbed.  I think it was a bit after 22:00, not quite half after.  I set the alarms on the clock for 04:00 and 06:00.  I heard the 04:00, hit the snooze.  But what would have been the second snooze I pulled that, and shut it down.  I  woke with the 06:00 alarm.

I will try to get to bed earlier tonight.  I'd like to be awake more like around 03:00 to 04:00, and easier than even the 06:00 wake this morning.  Life, starting out earlier, is easier and better.  Unless you like to party all night, or do night things.  Which I... I love the night, but I think I can switch that over to early.  I will try.

Oh, but I finished dishes last night.  Well, rinsed, hand dried, and have them air drying.  As well, I got the boxspring bagged up, but not vacuum sealed.  May try that today.  But I did move it into the spare bedroom.  I haven't broken it's base down, yet, either.  A few other little things, in little areas.

A few things, areas, items, on top of daily and staying up on domestics, is as fast as I can go.  I am not sure how long I can continue, but it might be reasonable to hope for more.  Something seems to have broken open.  Though, having fallen off medicine... that could jeopardize the progress.  I live on a very thin line.  Anything, everything, a bump, a jogging, a tug, a push... can throw me off.  Still, I'm... going to keep trying.

It is back to freezing, at 26 outside.  It's not a frigid feeling depth of cold, but it is below freezing.  I had thought it almost sounded wet, out there, as vehicles past.  But, no.  Just colder.

Breakfast is finally going.  I misplaced the bag of chia seeds.  While looking, I did some cleaning and sorting.  A bit on the table, and in the cupboards.  Some things were easy to toss.  A cup set I have never used, I just liked the color.  I have a fancier "diner" set, with saucers, I'll keep... for... no good reason.  Though it goes with my better set of dishes, besides my preference for them.  The world has changed.  People don't drink in such a manner these days, maybe they never did?

Some glass items went.  If it isn't a standard size, out it goes.  Plastics, unless they are interchangeable with other plastics, and more certainly safe, went.  As well, items I will never use, have never used.  A drink shaker, little kitchen ditties, parts for old systems I have let go, or broke... or lost.  Making more room for what I am keeping.  Though, too, I eyed a few more things I am thinking of tossing.  I bought a stick blender, the first one, with a kit.  But the thing never fit.  Perhaps a piece was missing, or the wrong parts were included.  I kept... thinking... somehow... one day it would all magically work, or I'd figure it out.  Never ever happened and never will.  A few other things I am holding for sentimental reasons.  Time to let go.  Swedish death cleaning?  Yes, I think that is what it is called.

And, that will just be the start.  Once that avalanche begins, it won't stop until... until much is gone.  In rooms, in closets, in cupboards, on shelves, in the garage.  Burn it to the ground.  And, when that happens, I may need the dumpster back again, if probably just for one or two more loads.  I'll have most of it ready to go when that happens.

Now, to sort some things today.  I will go forward, with some things, until this other thing is sorted.  But, it looks like that deal is a non-starter.  Will see.  Who knows.  But, I don't think I'll offer a nearly $10k premium on a $30k loan.  That's insane.  I guess finances really have been totally weaponized.  Wow.

On to breakfast.  I think I'll do a pork roast this afternoon.  And I thawed pork chops, which I should grill today too.  Yea, I know.  But I forgot the roast was out until the chops were thawed.  But, I think I can handle a bit of each, for the next three or four days.  With salad, fried eggs, or singular bites.

I did call my mother last night.  She sounded better.  Still ill.  Sore throat, has her voice back better, and did go out with some of the gals there, for a double birthday party.  Spring and fall are "great" times for sniffles, colds, and flu.  Poor dear.  But, she was sounding better, and is staying active, when she can.

Anyway... time to get breakfast, and begin sorting out today.  Sorting boxes and items, in the livingroom and spare bedroom, taking down the bed base in the master, vacuuming upstairs then bringing that down to try to seal the boxspring bag.  Always something.  Later.

Well, maybe not.

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While doing more paperwork, it looks like they are trying to charge nearly $9k in addition to the loan I am trying to take.  Adding both to a new mortgage.  I just wrote the handler I have been working with for some time, asking if I am misunderstanding something.  But, if that's the gig, then not only no but hell no.

Oh well.  It was more of a pipedream than anything.  From the start.  I'll walk away from that in a heartbeat.  This is even through the V.A. lending service, or so I thought.  But, yea, no.  We'll see.  But if that is the case, I'll stop all efforts and walk away from this immediately.

What a crazy world.  I suppose some people would go with that, I just can't, won't.  I may see about something from my bank.  But... yea... very cautiously.  Wow.  No.

Goodnight.

Not bad.

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Not going fast.  But going.

Dishes, in stages, are being done.  I am down to my last batch.  The others, over time, have been washed, rinsed, dried, and some put away.  This last batch was from recently and my last addition.  Plus, it was a bit greasier.  And a few other things done, here and there.

As well, I received the paper I needed printed.  I'll fill it out, and figure out where to get it faxed, tomorrow.  But, this part, the more complicated part, is done.  When he delivered it, I offered him some of the soup I made.  Handmade.  All of it.  From scratch.  I hadn't done much with the ground pork meatballs, save browned them.  So they were a bit bland.  Yes, I get that.

I need to obtain fennel, and a few other spices... thyme, rosemary, and a few others, and practice making a spice blend I would like for these.  Sesame seeds?  Perhaps, if pan fried, dry, just a bit.  But the rest of the soup was good, very good.  He asked what the base was.  Just remnants from the corned beef and cabbage, with mirepoix.  But, fresh, from just yesterday.  And refrigerated overnight.

I wouldn't give many my special soups.  But... he could have some.

He keeps going on about his shiny new spoon.  I said there is something that happens, when you find her.  Bonding.  It's a strange thing.  But... you begin to see not just her, but only her.  Strange things happen.  Choices, decisions, openings.  They will have to have a few fights.  To... see some things.  The shit tests... throw it against the wall, see what sticks.  It's... gotta happen.  And it could end things.  They are having to good part, they will soon have to have the bad part.  Best to... see how that goes before there is no... options.

I half am jealous, half am not.  Pleased, to see the process.  There are people who shouldn't.  People who only do it as an incident.  And people I believe are right for it.  He is right for it.  I am hoping she is too.  You can't win, this game.  But you can play it right, straight.  It's not about you, any of it.  But you may have a magical part in it.

I may be done with Elden Ring.  I have about leveled as much as I can, where I am.  Every way through to the better leveling area is blocked by bosses my 'toon simply doesn't have a way of beating.  I have, as mentioned, leveled to the reasonable and more level possible... advanced my gear as far as I can... found the extra bits of gear which increase power and such.  It just isn't working.

It isn't even that it's difficult.  It's not even close.  Too much is required too quickly.  I even jacked my various stats so as to not be a one-shot glass cannon.  I have tried this method, and that.  These adds and those, tricks, hacks, and more.  The game is simply beyond my capacity.  So, I'll go back to a game that I can finish, have finished, but am on a second run through.  And... enjoy.  It's not fun to have to work this hard for failure.

Moving along.

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Dishes, hit.  And I did forget the laundry, so that has been put over to dry.  Beside washing, and rinsing most of what was there, what needed washed was reset and some items added.  That bending could get to me.  But it's good to have it done.  And done well, right.

Then I decided to hit the litter box area.  What a dusty, musty, mess.  But, swept and dusted the area, got the litter box mats out and shaken empty, and put the litter boxes back.  As well, while sweeping, and cleaning, I cleared a little nook near the freezer, and swept that area on to the refrigerator and below the sink cupboards.  

It's still pretty rough.  But that won't change until new flooring is put in.  This stuff was put down in the early 70's, like '72 give or take.  It's... not in good shape.  The floor, at least in the kitchen, is actually something like 1x3s?  Something like that.  I doubt if they would be 2x3s and I am sure they are x4s.  Now, flooring is plywood over some distant framing undermaterial... joists? Somesuch.  This?  This was overbuilt.  Like a tank.  But, what is on it?  That... was just linoleum.  And it is beat to heck.

I will be getting a quote for flooring, downstairs.  Upstairs is still very good.  Downstairs isn't bad, save the livingroom and kitchen.  But... just... if I can... get it all new, save upstairs.  Though, maybe, in time... the upstairs?  Or, not.  It really is pretty good.

Anyway, I am getting back to things.  Maybe not all as listed, or just what is on the list.  But... in a way... it's all on the list?  Whether I write it or not, it's got to be done.  Eventually.  By myself, or someone after I die or move.  

What next, today?  Chores.  I have an alarm set.  And painpills.  I am starting to... or my body is... hurt.  Well, it has been hurting for a good long time, I just... forgot I had painpills.  Actually, I just realized, I have fallen off all medicine.  How long ago?  Probably just this last weekend, give or take.  Yea.

Oh, and the desk I have now?  I can get it to rise, so I stand while working.  I need to remember to try that.  Not sure how long I can actually stand.  But... I... would like to start.  Yes, standing for very long and I will get flush, dizzy, and wobbly.  A bad heart is no joke.  Still, maybe I can improve that?  Not... today.  Soon.  When... things are more normalized.  Ugh.

I received a paper I need to print.  I don't have a printer.  I don't think I can make it to town for a while.  I will be seeing if I can shoot that to someone, who can shoot it to someone else, to get it printed, and back to me this evening?  I'll... see.  Always something, it seems.  Later.

A bit more.

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Dishes were started, pee jug was reset... or is in the process.  Laundry... the whites were taken out, put where they were to go and folded for that which is folded.  But did I put the other laundry in the dryer?  I'll check right after this.  Funny how one can forget the little things.

Then I started three, but rather small, batches of dishes.  When I finish those, I'll wash the litter box mats... Cleaning up that corner really well while doing so.  Eventually that will get mopped.  And I may put the litter boxes in a big plastic tub, so that litter and dust stays in there.  I'll just have to cut an opening, or two.  For one cat, two litter pans is probably enough.  That is all the tub will hold.  If I end up with another feline, I'll add another pan, and put it in a box of it's own.

Bit by bit, improving, moving along, keeping up.

As well, dinner is almost ready.  After I finish the meat, I have ground pork thawing.  When it is ready, I'll make little meatballs, and cook that in the water.  Adding fresh, and other, vegetables through the days.  A nice meat soup.  I have pork chops thawing as well.  Thin.  Oddly, I am beginning to really like thin chops.  Much easier, and quicker, to cook.  Plus, they can be crisped much easier than thick-cut chops.  I still like thick chops, Iowa chops as I know them, they just really aren't as good.

A few things have shown up.  Not sure how to deal with them.  Will be sorting that as I go.  Later.

Boys and girls, it lives.

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Up at 04:34.  An hour and two minutes later, and I am finally sitting down.  The laundry!  I forgot a load in the wash.  Not sure how long, a day, two?  Nothing growing on it.  Shooting it through another wash, hoping for the best, while running whites through a hot fluff.

Then on to litter.  The little bag I keep over there was full, so time to get it out.  The dumpster hasn't been taken quite yet, so in it went... just in my robe and flipflops... well, underwear too, but just that.  It's just above 34 out there!  Nice.  Very nice.

Then a shower, brushed my teeth, fed Sassy... redid her water too.  Yikes.  She drinks so little I forget about it.  Gotta change that every few days!  Yikes!

I had hoped to put dishes in.  But, I am done, for now.  A very good little start.  Well, and having breakfast while I write.  Just chia, but it's very good.  Trying a choco-mocha?  Coffee and chocolate.  A little... grainy.  Not very chocolatey.  Will have to really do some research on how to make that more like the chocolate I used to know, but with my safer for diabetes sweeteners.

Now I get to relax a bit.  Game.  Actually, that... isn't relaxing.  I am starting to think, between gaming and the jab, those are two portions aimed at killing men at a younger age.  No longer needed.  Oh, I think the gaming industry is absolutely on board.  The funny thing is, many of the sniveling sjw's who do the writing are doing it through programmed self-hate.

Still, hasn't worked yet.  If this game is testing things, to be sure.  It's what I have.  And, like many men, would rather die trying.  Even if only virtually.

That shower was wonderful.  Hopefully can get another one in a day or two.

What else today?  Maybe a shave, definitely more of the corned beef and cabbage.  Vacuuming.  Putting the boxspring up.  And sorting.  I am... finally, I think, to that point.  I am a bit more able, and don't have new things popping up on the radar.  Probably.  Later.

Done.

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No shower, no shave, no dishes.  But I got other things.  The second to the last litter box to be cleaned, has been cleaned, twice, rinsed well, and is drying.  As well, I cleared out the refrigerator.  Now there is plenty of room for the corned beef.  Oh, but I haven't had a salad yet.  I will, shortly.

Nothing else today.  And it is just running on 19:00.  The salad meal will put me over the goal, but not by too much.  I can live with that.  So very tired.  But I want salad, and balsamic vinaigrette.  It tasted just so, or the day I made it, and more say a few days later.  It should be as perfect as it gets now.  Nothing fancy, but... good enough.

Yes, then on to sweet, dear, sleep.  I will crash hard.  All good.  Even if I didn't do all planned, I did some side tasks, and did a reasonable lot today... for my condition.  Oh, and I will begin working on my hands, now that I figured out the problem for sure, and sorted that out.  Just... burns.  Accumulated, rather severe.  But, I'll get them repairing, and protect them from now on.  Not sure all the skin will come back, but who knows.  I'm... odd that way.

Goodnight.

I thought it was done.

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Nope!  More paperwork.  For the house mortgage.  Absolutely annoying.  However.  I... do understand.  I get so much email, that often I don't see things.  This time I did, if a day after it was sent?  Got on it right away, as soon as I saw it.  So... that is handled.

I want to do more, but think I'll be doing chores than going in for a nap?  Gee, I'd really like to, but it's already a bit after 13:30.  Not sure it would be a nap.  Though I sure could use some sleep.  Bah!  I won't.

Chores, a shower, a shave, coffee and a break... gaming.  Then, before bed tonight, as late as I can make it, getting the trash out.  Whatever household I can get, collected, bagged, and out.  There is just enough room for a few or several bags.  An easy thing.  As well, I may go through some received items, and get boxes broken down and out.  Then on to bed.  Hoping to make it to 17:00.  We'll see.

I don't think I'll cook anything else.  Or heat up what I cooked.  Though I would like to get that put up, when it is cool enough.  I'll just have a salad for supper.  Maybe shortly.  Perhaps right after this.  I'll try to snazzier balsamic vinaigrette.  It sure tasted sharp, smart.  Salt, pepper, and parmesan... on the salad.  Yes, I think I will.

Oh, it has gotten a bit above freezing.  I was holding off chores, hoping it would do that.  So... yes.  Some days, no choice.  I just... was hoping it would warm enough that it wouldn't freeze when I put it out.  Just a bit above, when last I looked.  Could have warmed more, or not.  Probably hasn't cooled.

And checked on the dumpster.  It will be going tomorrow.  Morning, they said, but no problem in any case.  Trying to keep up on things, and getting things done.  Not bad for as poor of shape as I am in.  Seeing stars, from time to time.  Getting dizzy, for no reason, while sitting down.  I've pushed...

Then to chores, and hopefully the rest.  Later.

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Ah.  I was sure I sent this out?  Still up.  So I'll update.  Finished chores.  Got the trash out.  And put up the corned beef... it won't go bad in the pot.  And I dumped the leavings, so that won't sour.  All I need is a shower.  But not... yet.  I need a break.  Was able to do all that in one shot.  So... that was good.  But it left me rather drained.

Coffee water is heating, probably heated.  So that, a break, then a shower and a shave.  A bit of time to let my hair dry, and dishes in... a few small batches.  Then on to bed?  Sounds like a plan.  Gotta try to make 17:00, though no later than 19:00?  I can try.  Later, again.

Finished much more quickly than I thought.

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The corned beef and cabbage, etc, that is.  I think the whole process only took an hour and an half.  And it was perfect.  Potato was intact, and just done, carrots still gave resistance... could fork them, didn't have to mash them.  And the cabbage was just right.  The onion and celery simply got lost in it.

Having difficulty getting going.  Did check the temp, it is above freezing.  Hmm, I thought it was already noon... almost 13:00, an hour or two ago?  Weird.  The computer and my main computer room clock are both saying it isn't quite eleven?  Very odd.  I'll have to check the clocks in the kitchen.  One off clock can really throw me.

Still, so tired.  I have been playing, but... finding easier things to do.  Some things are so brutal in the game, and I'm just not up to it.  Trying to find other easy things to do.  Starting to run out of chaser chores in the game.  But I'm just not ready to face the bosses, or get through to try them.

I could level, but where I have to level takes three runs, for a level, at five to ten minutes per run.  The next leveling place offers two runs per level, and can be done in one to two minutes.  But, for that area, I have to... you guessed it... go through a boss I doubt I can take.  Haven't tried, but not... quite in the mood.  So very tired.  Still, might not have a choice?  I suppose I could add four or five levels, to try to get through this one boss.  Bleh.

A shower, and shave, yet today?  I can hope.  Then setting up some dishes.  Actually, I have two dishpans ready.  I just need to shower, so I have the space.  Chores have to be done.  And, I am washing another of the litter pans.  I put the other back into service, with fresh litter.  I will wait until the last litter pan gets down, in how much useful litter it has, before clearing then cleaning it.

I also need to get into that area.  Clear, sweep, and mop it.  It's... rough.  It was impossible to keep up, with Sam.  I'll... get that soon though.  I have slowly been improving that area.  Getting Sassy happy with it, and willing to commit, by keeping it up.  But, in time, after it is really cleared and cleaned, I think she will be a very happy girl.

Little things, for now.  But... it's okay.  I really do hurt.  Sore, tired to the heart, bones.  But... from work, so I am pleased.  Even if this kills me, I wouldn't mind.  Would rather die trying to be on my feet than just laying around like the invalid I am.  But, I think I have more time.  And, I will try to get to things.  More things, redo some things.  Yes.  Keeping at it.  Later.

Well... something.

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Beside breakfast, feeding Sassy and clearing her litter, lunch... dinner... supper... is on.  Corned beef.  I browned it, then added water after it had some really nice color.  Took a while, but it is a very wet meat.

Water added, a gallon.  It's a... bigger piece.  I decided to do a rough cut mirepoix, adding it in straightaway.  Plus, yes, the packet of spices that came with the meat.  Sometimes I add that, sometimes not.  It doesn't make a huge difference, to my mind.  In about an hour to hour and a half... a temp check will say, if I will check that every half hour.  I will add potatoes at the point where cooking looks halfway done?  Give or take.  Fifteen minutes after that, in goes the cabbage.  An half hour later, it should be ready.

Not a rolling boil, mind you, just a rolling simmer... plus a bit.  Otherwise it comes out with the texture of rubberized beef.  Slower and lower, but enough to get it done.  The odor while it cook, is truly a pleasure.  Actually?  The scent of it has already permeated the house.  Vera noice.

Oh, below freezing this morning, just.  Say 27~29... between memory and a short shrift of a look, that's close enough.  And dark and foggy.  The type of weather that make even brave men, who realize there are monsters out there, shiver.  Even if out one must go.  Bravery may be a virtue, but it is a cost, too.

Well... on to... gaming.  I'll... shower when I can.  Can barely stand.  A shower would be difficult, until I simply catch my wind.  There is no second wind, I simply am not breathing well as is.  A first wind would be nice.  Later.

Pain.

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The good kind, but everywhere.  Drowning in it.  Still, something is... improving, getting better.  The pain is a side effect, a symptom, a part of, the improvements.  Getting stronger, but turning to cement in the process.  Losing mobility.  So, when I stretch to do things, I hurt.  Using those freshly minted muscles the requires new nerve connections, which... are painful to set up.  First the pain, then the pain, then the pain, and, finally, in time, perhaps... more function.

In the shape I was in at the start, and where I am at even now, the change has been huge.  I'm nearing geriatric, so it is... difficult.  And it will never make me young.  But it is... an improvement.  At night, while I try to sleep, my body is pushing out every extra ounce of water.  I pee all day, too.  It's just crazy.  But as my body muscles up, tightens, strengthens, it just won't keep water for long.

On the good side, it's not like my bladder has shrunk, or much.  It's just that a still drink a goodly lot, probably in the two gallon range between this and that, and my body doesn't keep any of it anymore.  Still, compression socks, from time to time, helps remind it.  But less often and not as necessary.

I pretty much crashed to bed.  I kept trying to do this, or that, but my mind was not only not here... like a computer on the fritz... working then not.  But something inside was gone.  I couldn't call back the will to consciousness.  I could barely keep my eyes open, and they burned for it.

The work done yesterday was slight.  But that is on top of the repair and recovery that is ongoing.  I am seriously exhausted, just sitting a chair has become a bit of a thing for me.  So, going out and helping load a dumpster to near full?  Yeah, that... added to it.  Then getting to town, even for light business?

Wonderful.  I just hope I can improve quickly.  I... hate being this debilitated.  Even playing my game has become... a... bit of a trick.  It requires will, effort, thought, reaction, reaction speed, things I have having difficulty providing.  Stuck, now, between bosses I can't beat, and bosses I can't even reach!  Ugh.

Breakfast water should be heated.  I'll have corned beef, cabbage, carrots, and new potatoes today.  And, maybe, liver and onion.  Plus salad with each meal.  Oh, my vinaigrettes are delicious, if I do say so myself.  One is plain, but has a touch of spice (needs just a touch more).  The other is a true balsamic.  Top flight, top shelf, and that stuff costs... if you only use a bit on or in anything at a time.  A lot of food, but I... need... things... food... to help build, repair.  Assuming I can get it all made and eaten.  Not something I can promise, just the goal.

Actually, I may put the corned beef to in just a few hours.  It takes a while.  The potatoes go in three quarters of an hour before it is done, the carrots an half hour later, with the cabbage.  Or, that's how I do it.  One of the few times, these days, when I am happy to have have large pots.  May have to make pork meat balls for another veggie soup later this week.  I have so been wanting meaty veggie soup!  I'll get chicken stock out for that.  And, probably another meat.  Maybe a port roast, cut into rounds as well?  Or, chicken, cooked and bone?  I like several meats.  Then the soup will do for several days, perhaps the whole week.  Just keep adding veggies, only adding enough of those for the one meal, two at most.  *drools*

As to work?  A shower, chores, shave... got interrupted yesterday, if I wasn't sure anything was going to actually get done yesterday otherwise?  I can't know, just suspect.  Was moving very very slowly.  Today... I want to push on through.

Oh, setting up some quotes.  For gutters, bats in the belfry, and a sprinkler system.  And arranging for the hydrant to be brought back to function, and getting my water softener checked out.  Not quite... a start on the main works, but a... setup for the beginning of some of the trim.  And the doors have been sealed.  Weather stripping.  Nothing fancy, but a start.

I'd like to keep going with the house, get it ready for an energy audit.  I... may... if the new loan (since it really isn't a loan on the place) goes through, get some cleaning done.  Then see if that can be arranged for ongoing.  Then have people in.  Ugh.  But it... really needs to be done.  I can't keep up.  Though, I really want even more rearranging of the world in here before even that.  But I have to push through this concretification of my body, and get back to work.  Ugh!

Anyway... I am up and thinking, planning, and hoping to eat well today.  Breakfast, first.  Then... gaming.  Then a shower and shave.  And... setting up dishes.  A break, and then to boxes and items and a boxspring.  Bleh.  Have a great day.  Get to it.  Later.

So very tired.

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More work today.  Emptied the basement, of things to go into the dumpster.  Then, got a trailer, got it near the outbuildings, then emptied them.  Well, mostly.  I am gasping for air, really did run a rough day.

Also got to town for some business.  But was... just about falling asleep.  The only reason I am not in bed is because I was too tired.  Odd as that sounds.  No, it's about time.  I had hoped to get a shower in, but work opportunity arose, and I grabbed it.  Did what I could.

I literally, from time to time, have to push to breath.  I am that tired.  It has warmed, got into the 40s, but dropped to 36, last I saw.  And was raining.  May end up snowing again, even down here in the valley.

The dumpster will be returned shortly.  As soon as they will pick it up.  We have made an arrangement for him to finish the last of the removal from the outbuildings.  Metals, mostly.  I am done with heavier stuff.  I need a break.  From everything.  Thin... like butter spread over too much toast.

Actually, too, I am hoping for a constitutional.  Not the walk kind.  Then I can get on up to sleep.  So absolutely shot.  Good evening, night, and goodnight.

Oh, people, sleep is so good.

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Waking around 01:00 yesterday.  Then doing this, that, and the other thing, plus staying up until 20:00, I went down like a felled cedar.  Some of my kin, it was said, were as tall as those.  So I suppose it is fitting.  Felled indeed.

I slept until around 04:00, if I didn't actually get out until 04:34.  Fine, I wasn't in a hurry.  Dressed, warmly, if more homebound style, first thing.  I had fatted coffee remaining from last night, and unusual leave.  Still, it was a grateful find.  I think I set the water to heating, for breakfast.  If I have been goofing since waking, and will need to heat it back up again.

So tired.

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I had forgotten chores.  Done.  I made bratwursts and sauerkraut.  Not only filling, but warming.  I tried to game, I... couldn't keep my eyes open.  It's bedtime, past bedtime.  So, on I go.  Have a great night all, sleep well, dream easy, and see you in the morning, or in heaven.  Amen.

Got it sent.

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Faxed.  Finding the place was a bit of a trick.  Not sure how or why, but the numbering system, for the street, was... not what was expected.  Still, if given lemons, find some seafood.  It went quite well.  I had, also, to get them to print the invoice.  I thought I brought it with me, but hadn't.  And, I needed it, and the report.

Then, I informed my handler that it was in and sent.  Haven't heard anything back.  Hopefully that will be it, and I will hear about the loan soon.  Once I have a check, and it clears, I will begin getting quotes on things.  There are other questions, like... is there a sort of guarantee on the quote?  And, probably, other questions.  I ought to look for a checklist, when finding people to do the work needed.

Then, a bit of work when I got home.  Oh, but groceries.  I went shopping.  I really needed food!  Corned beef was on sale, as good as I have seen in a very long time, so I got some.  And extra.  The rest was pork.  Can't afford beef this week... month.  Pork, too, is starting to go up.  Pork is what beef was.

Excited to get to things.  Nice to know the evaluated price for the home.  If I am pretty sure it would be worth much more, on the open market.  I'm betting closer to 3, but... who ever knows.  If interest starts going up, that will change very quickly, however.

What a day.  Back to days, it seems, if roughly.  I may cook a few brats on the grill, and have sauerkraut on the side.  I ate while in town, but am still very hungry.  I haven't been eating well lately, then get terribly hungry.  I'll probably cook one of the corned beef cuts, with cabbage, red potatoes, and carrots.  You either love it or don't enjoy it.  I hated it as a kid, didn't... understand it.  Now I love it, and cabbage too.  And enjoy cooked carrots, as long as they aren't overcooked.

Hungry.  Finally made it to the store this month.  I was pretty shot.  Couldn't.  All good.  Goodnight, most likely.  I still have a few things to do.  But it's pretty much just a matter of eating, closing up shop, then to bed.  Oh, it's 45 out there.  A rather nice day.  The furnace was turned off today, for a bit, and windows and doors opened.  Very nice when that can happen.  Yes, good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

Always something.

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What a gig.  I still haven't gotten started, mostly.  I did call, to see if the invoice had been received.  No.  And that is only the half of it.  They also need the actual report.  I must have misread things.  But, at that ending portion, things were a bit blurry.  Couldn't read, think, etc.

I called, today, to check.  Just in case.  And, that is how I heard it.  On the good side, this is all just waiting on that.  The valuation is... plentiful... for the loan.  At two and an half times what is owed, by valuation, there is no problem with the loan going through.  I just have to do this.

I called the company.  They will print one out, and have it ready.  I got a fax number, use that to send both.  I need to shower, first, then dress and head in.  Just a quick thing.  But, could do grocery shopping, and do a return, while at it.  Ugh.  Tired, sore, weak, but... excited.

I won't start getting quotes, until I have the check in the bank.  Then I get to start calling for quotes, on everything from electric work to furnace and central... with a humidifier.  Then, the bathroom.  And, maybe, flooring.  Well, and a sprinkler system.  Check.  Exciting times.  Not sure when they could install, but it is exciting to think I might have a cool summer.

Well, best get at it.  Later.

Hell of a nap!

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I didn't get down until 15:00 and change.  A quarter, half, more, less... It wasn't 16:00, it was after 15:00.  So... there.  I woke at around 20:00, but decided just to keep on sleeping.  I have needed more sleep for a long time, but have been fighting it.  Back in the drink!  The pool that is.  The cerebral ocean of dreams.  I don't remember dreaming, but the bait was set.

Made to 01:17 or such.  Started dreaming, or thinking, of working.  Couldn't sleep more.  So... up.  A shower, when I begin things.  First thing.  Then dishes in.  Laundry can be cycled.  I found extra darks, enough for a wash, so set that going last thing yesterday.

Today?  Setting up more dishes, after my shower.  Rotating laundry through.  Something to eat.  I found the trick with my pan.  I had always thought that bacon would produce enough fat, on it's own.  And, technically, it does.  But, it doesn't work in time?  Something.

What happens is, no matter that temp of the pan, when I put the bacon in, by the time it renders enough to cook with, the pan has gotten sticky.  So, when I put eggs in, the pan has to be washed.  Probably should be washed right then, but sometimes I push it, just scrape it, and used it again.  But that was totally unsat.  There had to be a better way.

Now?  I add a bit of fat, currently tallow, to the pan, let it melt, then add bacon.  No sticking issues, and I fry it aggressively.  Then, after pulling the bacon, I lower the temp just a bit, but while the pan is still hot, I put the eggs in.  Cold, from the fridge.  I ought to try warming them, see if that makes any difference?  Anyway, doing this and they are coming out pretty good.  I flip them, now, as steaming... I just didn't like what I was getting.  And I still usually break some of the yolk on at least one egg.  That may improve, with this method, and practice.  Or, as mentioned, I may begin warming the eggs to room temp, see if that helps.

Timer beeping?  Ah, water.  I fill an half gallon jug, for general use.  It takes about twelve minutes to fill.  If I don't time it, it... overflows.  Not... a good thing.  It wasn't  completely full, and then I had to refill the water heater.  So... it's back to filling again.  Just a little daily dabble.  I'm having a fatted coffee first.  Will have chia breakfast next, then bacon and eggs later in the morning.  A simple life, but it works.  I wonder if there are reasons not to eat so much chia?  I guess I'll find out.  I go through ten pounds in between three and four months, an ounce nearly daily.

Wait... maffs!  At 16 ounces per pound, with 10 pounds in the bulk bag, that is 160 ounces.  An ounce a day, with 30 days in a month, would mean 5.333333 (etc) months.  Now, I don't eat it every day, just most.  If, also, 2.8 tablespoons is an ounce, while I use 3, often heaping, tablespoons.  So, it could be between five and six months.  It just seemed like a shorter time?  Right.

Anyway... time to wake up!  Get going.  This, blog and internet viewing.  Gaming.  Then a shower, and shave if possible.  I trimmed the whiskers last night, so an after shower shave should be pleasant.  Thing is, I am out of real shaving cream.  And, to be honest, soap lather, and other options I have, simply aren't as good.  They really do have shaving cream down to an art, even the stuff from the '50s is quite good.  But the stuff since the '90s is... luxury, taking much of the pain out of shaving.

Well, to it.  Until I can actually get to it.  Later.

Yea, no, getting to it.

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Laundry is through, and probably finished with it's last cycle.  Dishes are washed, and set to air drying after a towel dry job.  Chores are finished, though I haven't put the waterers up to reset, yet.  That will be done the next time I am back that way.  And breakfast is done, second breakfast.  And the skillet is reset for reuse already.

I now need to trim whiskers, get a shower, and maybe shave.  Then put laundry in, a smaller colored load.  Set up another, if much smaller, batch of dishes or two.  There isn't all that much left.  Then I can either get a nap going, or begin on boxes and boxsprings.

I am wearing out fast and hard.  A nap really might be the next step.  The thing is, I don't want to nap quite this early in the day.  Hmm?  11:00 already?  I guess it would be a good time.  I, while doing things, lost track of time... thought it was 09:30ish.  I suppose I could take a nap.

Oh, it had been 37 earlier.  It dropped.  But just on degree, to 36... according to my meter.  All good by me.  Above freezing enough to feel, know it.  And enough that the waterers don't freeze, and I am happy.  I am still wearing gloves and my winter type boots when I go out.  Not sure it's needed, but then again, I don't think I have a good read on what is needed or not.  Best to be more cautious, then to freeze, then burn.

Perhaps another fatted coffee, then on to a nap.  Seems an odd mix, but I'm not sure there is much caffeine in freeze dried coffee, whatever they say.  But, it is warming, tasty, and is a part of my diet these days.  And, even if it does have solid caffeine, it is a major step down from gallons of tea a day.  That... may come back, to a degree, in the summer.  Though, with carbonated water, and some other changes, perhaps only a quarter of what it had been, or eighth.  Half a gallon a day would be good, with what else I am drinking.  Actually, about what I am doing with coffee currently.

Well, a coffee, a bit of playing, then on to a nap.  Then, a trim, shower, maybe shave, more dishes, and back into the housework.  Yeah.  Later.

I wanna dance!

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Actually, literally.  I was just thinking about finding a woman.  And... then finding a place where we can go and dance.  Or, even just finding music we like, and dancing her at home.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Though it would be nice to have a dance hall.  Truth is, dancing is just a way of meeting.  So, once met, it's... difficult to keep the effort up.

Laundry was put over into the dryer and is going.  Nothing else to run through, yet.  I suppose, when I shower again, I might have enough to do another load.  Dishes have been reset.  And 'lunch' is warming.  A pork blade chop, left over from yesterday, is heating.  As well, I'll will fry eggs for the side.  Love fried eggs.

I had forgotten how to fry eggs.  If you don't do it for a while, it's easy to mess up.  And, I was trying a different method for fake easy over... adding water, a lid of some sort, and letting them steam.  That just doesn't work, for me.  Others can do it more successfully, or I just won't complain in any case.  But I can't seem to get them just so.  So, back to flipping.  And, that... takes practice.

However, I am getting it down.  I still, occasionally, spill the yolk.  But improving.  Now, I have to have some meat with the eggs.  I know, they have protein, and fat.  Split.  But truth is, there isn't much to eggs.  I really need meat with them.  Bacon, ham, chops, steak, almost anything will do.  Or I remain hungry.

After breakfast, a small break until the dishes are ready.  A timer is going, with three times... so I don't... blow right through it.  And, this timer beeps perpetually, after the timer has gone off, in case I didn't hear it.  So, with three alarms, it will be like a nest of chicks, chirping nearly constantly.  And it doesn't just go off, like many do.  It will pester like a good woman!

Well, on to a bit of gaming, then breakfast, then work?  It is hoped.  Later.

Awake, starting soon.

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I didn't do dishes.  That is the first thing on the list.  I'll need to empty the water and reset.  Which is fine.  I won't do that until I am ready to hit it, for sure, within an hour and an half.  Then I'll reset, set a timer, then get in and dry them and set them out to dry.

After, a shower.  I may have a small amount of dishes, which will then be put in for a final run.  I've been keeping my pans, flatware, cutlery, and such up, mostly.  Perhaps just a few new things found, and old things not put in.  As well, vacuuming, upstairs and down.  Just... a touchup.  Trying to keep up.

Then, boxes in the the livingroom and spare room, and the boxsprings put in a bag and sealed, then moved into the spare bedroom, along with the base components.  And, finally, beginning in there, if I can.  Just a few hours on, a few hours off.  Doing what of those things can be done.  I have to get back to it.  Pretend the inspection is still coming up, because... in a way, it is.

My body tried to wake me up at 19:00.  I just... said "No!".  Here it is, 01:00, and I was able to wake well, rightly, and ably.  I'll be able to work.  Needed more sleep.  Plus, I may be able to coast back into days.  Gently approaching that.  If I work hard, though, I simply can't keep days.  If I push, I will twist in the proverbial winds of change, like a kite in a hurricane.  I simply can't keep days, and work hard.  I have a choice, and have made it.  If, too, I can only do so much for so long, before work fails.  Being this ill really has problems, or I would be working for money.  No one will hire a cripple, and for good reason.  Fake cripples, sure.  But not real ones.

Back to it?  I don't know.  I have been doing a few things, these last days.  But, nothing fancy.  Still, more than... for a while.  And, I keep making plans to get back to it.  It may happen.  It is planned to happen.  I may stumble, I won't be going as fast as I hoped.  But... yes... I can get to it.  Just how deeply, for how long, and how well, remains to be seen.  But, yes, I am at least back to trying to be back.

Of course, there is more to do than just efforts at improving the house.  I have to get groceries, I need to cook... and eat.  Oddly, the latter isn't as easy as it might seem.  How can I be overweight and not be able to eat?  It's because I can't do much.  Even my metabolism seems to flatline, or near enough.  When it has no energy, it has learned to use so very little.

I still like to explain by reminding people of the space trip, to the moon, which failed and they nearly died.  They figured out how to use so very little energy to control what hadn't been damaged on the ship.  They portioned every bit of energy.  You ought to read (or watch) that story sometime.  It is amazing what they did.

The question.  Was their survival a success?  Or just... not dying?  Should they have just gone out as heroes?  Trying?  Rather than returning, and alive?  Same question I have asked about myself, and why I tried to finish is for so long.  Eventually I had to realize it was God who was saying "No!".  He wouldn't cure me, either.  Just, wouldn't let me die.  Reasons?  God is beyond my ken.

Anyway...  Breakfast is brewing.  The dishes have been drained.  I won't refill them until I am sure I can get too them in a short enough time that they will still be very warm, so dry easier.  I'll probably put the laundry in the dryer when I go to fetch breakfast.  Then, back to gaming for a while, until I can wake, but with a timer set to get me going on dishes.  There is space for them to dry, too.

Chores, when the sun comes up.  A shower after dishes have been pushed on through.  A quick and dirty vacuuming of both floors, the rooms which have carpeting.  Well, might as well sweep, while at things, too.  Then on to boxes, and boxsprings, and such.  Later.