Sure, it's 10:00.

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And, yes, I am just waking up.  But I didn't get to sleep until right at 03:00.  Plus, I was up at 07:00 to close windows before the heat of the day hit.  And, actually, I was up a spit before 10:00, as I had time to use the facilities if merely for the simple, and get the ducks fed and started their water.  Time to shut that off, actually.

Done!  I wish it was as fast and easy to do things as it seems while writing a blog.  I'd be done all the time!

Oh, another of my hens has hatched ducklings.  But, just a pair.  And one may already be gone.  I am not sure her remaining one will last either.  She isn't... favored... by the group.  She is the all black one, and they really don't like her.  She had some of the prettiest chicks so far.  

Then again, I might say that about all the new sets.  You know how proud grandpas can be.  There were a golden yellow, front and back, with a saddle stripe of black down their middle, from the fold of their not-quite but becoming wings to right before their tale.  And these were the fattest chicks so far.  One got stuck in the fencing, as with a neighbor who had to free one.  So I freed it, having to just take a charging attack by the mom.  Fluffiest little buggers!  They... really can attack, don't think it's a joke.

Oh, and this morning, just before deciding to get up to close the windows for the day, the curtain was opened, just a crack, by a freak off blowing of the fan.  It opened just a crack, and I saw the sun for a flash.  I, of course, as is my want, immediately got a bloody nose.  A gusher.  Had to act fast.  Still spilled some.

Then I dreamed, after going back to bed.  Our team had gone into a village.  I am sure it was Vietnam, so wasn't actually me.  Anyway.  We got in a firefight.  We won, basically.  But we had gotten the attention of a larger actual combat unit.  They were spread out, so arrived in squad sized units.

We were forced to retreat, though there was no good call to stay either.  So, we were doing block group withdrawal.  Several men would plant, some or more would retreat while firing...  The planted men offering precision shots, more precise, the withdrawing men would offer covering fire.

In this case, no use using several firearms each to confuse the enemy.  The loss of what precision was possible was a lessor thing, the main thing being they could see us, as we were out in the open.  Part of that tactic was to make them think there were more of us than there was.  No dice, so greater precision was sought.

Back we went.  We were losing people left and right.  Attempts to help pull people out just lead to more casualties.  So, back we went.  We were successfully taking out the small units as they arrived, but they kept coming.  Finally it was just two of us.  My remaining partner was down to a sidearm, either a .357 or .44 magnum... not sure the .44 was in action at that time?  If it was, that is what it was.  He was, however, down to a single round.  I had an m-16, but was down to a mag and a half or so.

We were about 75 yards out, in a rice paddy.  We had just finished the last unit, luckily  they must have had incendiaries, of some sort, and maybe a flamethrower?  Something went up, and it spread like wildfire, or we wouldn't have made it.  One of their guys kept charging at us, on fire, but his will just couldn't beat death by flames.

We tucked low, and started crawling out.  As other units showed up, they seemed little interested in fighting more, so just spread out in the village, or began checking the dead and wounded.  I think we made it out from there.  Damn, though, that place was hot and humid.  And muddy.  And the mud stank, and bugs.

Good thing too.  I couldn't have committed suicide.  And might well have been captured.  Though we heard they didn't take soldiers as prisoners, so we might well have been shot.  Though, maybe, not before torture.  The guy with the pistol said he could and would shoot himself.  I just told him I couldn't, but if a mate saw to it, that wouldn't be on me.  He winked.  With and at, with and at...

Was glad to wake from that one, if more because of the heat and humidity than the fighting.  That's just how that goes, but the heat and humidity, even in just a dream... 

Today?  Japanese.  I believe I will go to review mode.  Try to hit as many hiragana as possible, if not all, in review.  Writing two rows of each, while pronouncing them.  As well, with the flashcards, I may begin doing memorization drills.  Keep that in my front shirt pocket, and pull it out and use it from time to time.  I need to get stickers to add to ones I miss, so as to focus on those.  I am at about, from my first use of those, 30 to 40 percent recall.  Though that will bounce around a great deal over time, as I just started drilling.

Tomorrow I will begin the alternate and exceptional pronunciations.  I think there are about one and a half as many of the variances as the simple characters, give or take.  But, having the standard characters down will make learning this much quicker.  All this week?  Maybe.

I do wonder how much past memory I should go.  I know, in college, they absolutely shove you past your ability to remember.  Is it that they don't want you to consciously remember?  Are they trying to get you to learn in a different way?  Is this how they add subliminal messaging, or push you past what you know to be right, true, good, beautiful?

There may be a method to that madness, if too, costs.  In a classroom, I would be doing the kanas, learning phrases, learning culture (according to academia), probably even learning kanji as well, and as many characters, in each form, as I am learning just of hiragana currently.  I have never liked the pacing of formal education.  Or the flow, direction, or volume.  I am betting money my method will not only end up being faster, but better.  I... sometimes think they don't teach so that people will learn.  They almost try to force us not to learn?  Maybe even try to get us to hate what we are learning, and learning itself?  Most don't care, which doesn't help.

I may do more work with the slide rule.  Oh, it doesn't have two ones after all.  It seemed like it, but on closer inspection, one of the 1's is enough smaller to be a subset.  Just, in the panic of it all, it looked like they were the same size.  I have figured out how to get numbers from the left side.  But when that goes over, getting numbers from the right side isn't yet making sense.  

Why learn a slide rule?  Life comes at you fast.  Just how long will batteries be available, or chips for calculators?  And, they are making calculators with "rechargeable" batteries, meaning they will be an automatic brick in between two and six years.  They are building the future to fail.  So, yes, slide rule.  Not even really for me.  So that I can teach another how to use it, possibly.  If I can learn it, that is.  Ugh.

Later.

When did I go to bed?

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I think it was right after midnight.  Perhaps as much as half after, but more like right after?  I think so.  I woke around 07:00, but couldn't really wake.  Just shut windows and went on back to bed.  I wanted to get up, it just wasn't going to happen.  Back to bed until about 11:00.  I've been up for a bit, fed the ducks and girls, tended their litter.  Rabbits are yet to get their food and water checked.

A headache has been plaguing me since even the 07:00 wakeup.  It was much worse then, but seems to be getting worse again.  Not sure what the problem is.  I think I overheated yesterday, and the last few days.  Some strange weather pattern came in, and just baked the cave.  It was worse outside.  I think this is a side effect of days of overheating.

Then again, life, even if exhausting from the heat and bits of work I have been doing, has been rather pain free.  I don't understand.  Perhaps the heat has been shielding from other pain?  Or there is a limit to suffering?  So, a headache isn't... all that bad.  And it seems a cooler morning.  I haven't checked the temp yet, outside.

Ah.  92?  Really?  It is only 77 in here, this front and the main room... which seems quite cool?  The clouds, I think, and little storm that was with it, seems to have moved on, taking whatever was making the weather so annoying with it.  Humidity, and clouds, gone.  It was a... strange heat and moisture bubble.  Still, that direct heat will get to me, if I stay out in it for long.

I couldn't do a lot last night, with Japanese.  But I did get started on the flash cards, for hiragana.  I am taking my time, trying to write correctly, using cursive.  I am using an ink brush and card sets with keyrings to craft professional quality cards, or as close as I can to such.  Which means I practice, several times, with a regular pen, then with the brush, to perfect the characters as well as I am able, THEN write it on the flash card stock.  I may end up doing some over again.  Or not.  I am about a third the way through.

That is taking so much time, though, that I can't do other review until it is done.  It is a form of review, just not quite as deep of one as I would like.  Still, it needs to be done.  I will be spending three more weeks on hiragana before moving to katakana.  I could just, after these cards, and the exceptions, and a review next weekend, move on.  But I want to take my time in this section.  I want hiragana to be as close to memorized before moving on.

The cards will help.  I can review them while in the middle of something else, or doing nothing.  Just flip them out, and start going through them... first one way, then the other.  Wrote memorization, regarding of how dull it might seem, is the only real way to learn the basics.  So, wrote learning it is.

I have to admit, my ability with English is far better than I thought.  From pronunciation to understanding grammar, exceptions, and such.  I learned far more English, by learning foreign languages, than I had thought.  It was the only way to fully understand the foreign language... and to separate it from English.  From participles to verb conjugations to tenses, to... every understanding necessary to transmit information in written or verbal form... to learn a foreign language well requires exceptional learning of one's primary language.  I do well.

Hmm, as to today?  Chores, of course.  A shower shortly, maybe a shave.  Frozen bottles of water out, while I feed and water the rabbits.  Maybe a bit of picking, in the soil, but later... when it is dark.  Watering the lawn, if probably just the areas which were seeded and maybe the back yard.  And the voluntary work, but also later this evening, when it cools.  No work on Sunday, I was told.  Why for, asked I?  Religious, I was told.  I concur.  So be it.  I may have to work on Sunday, but God knows why.  I have to work when I can, good or ill.  But this is different, and I grok, even appreciate, that.

I best get to chores, then get cracking again on the flash cards.  Those are sort of fun, if... they... some of the characters are tricky to get just right.  I do sweat, though I do even when just trying to write them during practice.  Is this tail higher than this intersection?  Does the "t" type crossing go up, from left to right, down, or is it flat?  Is the intersection at the mid-point, higher, lower?  Ugh.  It's... some of their letters are fascinating, beautiful perhaps, as well... difficult to replicate.  Time... practice...

Later.

A final lesson.

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Well, the last lesson in hiragana.  Or... the standard hiragana.  Now, remains, the irregular forms, as well as the beginning of katakana and possibly irregular forms of it's pronunciations.  I won't say I have them down perfectly.  However, most sounds are very static, between vowel and consonant combinations with only a few having more complicated pronunciations (fu, as an example).  So, really, I am doing well.

However, memorizing how to write each character is a whole other thing.  That will take more of the time than most other aspects.  And, yet, I am going to try to have those sorted within a month, for each of the two sets of kana.  Kanji?  That... is more like a lifetime process which will never quite be sorted, fully.  Much as with English, and trying to learn every word.  Just in the medical, engineering, industrial (pick a particular one), or academic circle, there are words no one outside of it would, or should learn.  It would be out of context in any other setting.  And without even more words to set it up, it just wouldn't make sense.

This time I timed it.  It took right at an hour and an half, minus a little less than a minute.  That was with a couple of short breaks, and a stroll downstairs to seek water.  I am positive it takes much less time than the first three sessions, and it is becoming quicker still, most likely.  

I no longer cramp up, just from sitting in the proper position to study and write.  I not longer get writers' cramps at neck, elbow, hand, or elsewhere.  Though, too, I have learned to do small stretches, or even get up and get downstairs.  Even if I do nothing but go down, look around, then go back up, it helps.

I may do another session this afternoon.  But I won't start anything new until Monday.  The goal is simply to review what I have studied to point, and practice writing, nearly calligraphy, so as to begin crafting flash cards of the characters, and then, eventually, flash cards for vocabulary.

The vocabulary that has been presented, so far, has been simpler expressions, of two to five characters.  Though not always is the meaning understood.  A circular fan?  Is that a round shaped electric fan?  Or is that a folding fan, of a mechanical nature?  As well, there are nouns, verbs, and other included.  So far, all verbs seem to be in their simple, or root, form.  I am waiting more for the grammar lessons to begin truly focusing on vocabulary.  Though, when I do begin to hit it, I will hit it hard.

A nap?  Perhaps.  After lunch?  That would be nice.  Later.  

Up and a bit.

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First, some digging.  I have to use a pickaxe while at it. so many rocks!  from pea sized, up to about my fist, mostly averaging between those sizes.  I can't shovel through new ground.  I have to pick it loose, then scoop out what is available.  I can only do so much before I have to go sit.  Not even doing something else will help, I completely drain what energy I have.

After my first break, I did chores.  Rabbits and ducks, plus fresh water for the cats.  I'll feed them before long, and clear their litter.  But... Not for a while.  After chores, and another break, I did a bit more digging.  I am taking out inches more, wide... deep... at the rate the young take out feet.  Almost not worth it.  For me, it is exercise, as much as I can do.

The sun rose high enough to be on me while I worked.  I was done anyway, but that would have finished it if not.  I suspect the medicines I take make the sun, and heat, very difficult to withstand.  Though, maybe just age?  Though, to be honest, I think the medicines they have put me on have made being in the sun a permanent grave task.  I just can't do it.  Even my arm, in the sun, while driving, is difficult.  Long sleeves help.

Still, a good morning so far.  Just about to close the last of the windows.  It was 60 an hour ago.  I'd bet it's close to 70 out there now.  Well, 66 to 67, just checked while closing the last of the windows.  I am still hoping to get rested a bit, then get the trailer moved out and get that unloaded.  I don't know if I will be able to fill it, or not today.  But... I'll... do what I can, bit by bit.

After a break, I will go on up and study Japanese again.  First finishing the study I didn't quite get done yesterday, then a review of all the letters.  Just... doing two lines, instead of four, of everything I have done.  Then, the next time I study, today or tomorrow, start on the next study lesson.  Every other study day will be split between a pure review and going over new material.

Oh, I purchased flashcard materials.  I may have some around, but haven't been able to find them.  If I do find more, all good.  I am going to guess I will need more flashcards than ordered, on hand, or even combined should I find them all, in time.  One piece of advice, regarding vocabulary anyway, is to write the word within a sentence.  Sure, color code it, so you know what you are studying.  Why?  Because words, and sentence structure, is different enough, as are... even what nouns are needed, no always is the subject necessary if it is plain, for example.  So, writing it in a sentence helps set some of those things in mind.

It would be like a foreigner knowing "I", "can", "go", "to the store", but formulating in their tongue, and having come out as "go I to the store can".  Sort of correct, just... so if studying "store", best have it written as "I can go to the store".  I immediately understood the good of that.  Even if I can't, immediately, understand the rest of the sentence, or grammar.  How much does a child understand, how much do they simply attempt to repeat?  Of course, that means having a dictionary, which does such.  So... yes, I have ordered two, the one in the books post, and this one.  If this one is too advanced, the other may be a stepping stone to the use of this one?  Yea, but you gotta start somewhere.

I may not be able to do much, or work long, before choking.  But I have enough work around that I may be able to do an half hour of effort a day.  And for quite some time.  More, through time, I can probably make much more work than I can do in a lifetime.  It isn't much, but it is what I can do.  Even learning Japanese is... something.  Latin as well.  Yes, what I ordered for that, as well as what I had, is in and available.  I won't start that until, perhaps, fall or winter... when I have little else I can practically do.

Well, I best get the cat litter cleared, get them fed, then go on up and begin study.  Trying to keep eating to one or two meals a day.  Hmm... chicken soup, perhaps.  It has been sitting, and stewing, in the fridge for a day.  Some out, in a pot, with a can of tomato?  A few more fresh veggies?  A little extra water too.  Sure.  Lunch.  It really isn't as tasty as I had hoped, but it's good enough.  Later.

Okay, books.

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I have looked over many books, many reviews, and various other sources... written and video.  From these, I have ferreted a list of books, in a specific order, so as to learn in a self-studying manner, and more as a child might... even in Japan.  Actually, my goal was to develop my language skills as a child would if self studying but without direct immersion.

The first thing almost every source I have read suggest, is to learn hiragana and katakana.  I think, to a source, this is the highest recommendation.  To that end, I purchased two manuals.  I really should have only purchased one.  However, in my defense, if in ignorance, I had some wonder if there might be different approaches.  As it turns out, there is one approach... brute-force memorization.  The one I am using is fine.  There are others.  Just pick one which encourages much repetition.

From what I have read, it is expected to take 700 read/writes to get these well into the mind?  Youch.  But, okay.  I have noticed that, as I go over them, and then again, they don't stick so well.  But when I begin using them in words, that is when a greater appreciation and memorization begins.  It's not fast, I still look up each one to make sure I am pronouncing it right, especially in groups (while also trying to figure out how they sound together... they will change what they sound like sometimes).  Doing my best.

After I get through this book, I plan on hitting "Japanese from Zero!", the whole series.  These are slower paced, and more exacting in explaining things.  I am sure there are things which will still be difficult, so I am looking at various apps and yt sources of grammar, to cover areas a second way.  I haven't gotten to that point, so I can't evaluate those.  I am collecting them, or sources which offer other collections of sources.  These, I think, are more how a child would begin.

After these, or perhaps at some point while using these, I plan on a second tier book.  This may be similar to the "Japanese from Zero!" series.  However, they offer the grammar from the familiar, at least first.  What makes this different, is that I do believe children will learn the familial, familiar, first.  Then, later, be taught the polite forms.  I am sure there will be some of each, even at the beginning.  But, it will be more familiar first.  It is "A Guide to Japanese Grammar".

When I may, or might, switch, or add, the books... I cannot be sure.  I will just have to play that by ear.  As I progress, and as testing works out, that will decide if I can take on more, or am ready for something a bit newer or faster.  I haven't come close to getting hiragana down, let alone katakana.  So... one thing at a time.  However, I am collecting books, a few each month, in preparation.

After this, or as I get further into this last book, and the series before it, I plan to start another series.  Finally, to the school/academic styled books.  "Genki 1", 2nd edition, manual and workbook, is by far and above the most recommended hard start book.  Part of the reason I won't be starting with it is the speed of lessons.  Part of it is that there is less detail, as one is expected to be in class, so have a teacher and other students to help with detail and drills/practice... which I won't have.  And a final part of the reason to not start with this, is this begins with the formal, or polite, forms.  Not, again, how children will first receive their understanding.  Learn as a child, and learn well, I say.

As well, I would recommend a Japanese dictionary.  I have some in app form, though not sure those will work.  I am not to the point where I can evaluate.  I plan to purchase a kanji dictionary, or tome with enough to be proficient and more.  Though I really would like to find a Japanese dictionary that covers all of the forms.  I am not certain they make it, though may be buying a dictionary, in paperback, to find out.  It comes highly recommended, but I... just wish I could find something that definitely covers all forms of Japanese writing.  I have two in the queue, but will be buying this one... soon, next month, or the month after.  Actually... after looking this over, I think it will work for a general dictionary... to the point where it can be understood and used.  Maybe?  I will begin looking for an English to Japanese and Japanese to English version, or book, if this isn't it.  I... will check it again.  ---  Found one that IS a dictionary.  

Yeah.  As well, I am going to begin purchasing anime, of a more childbased sort.  One thing about anime is... they don't talk like that, if they might sound like that.  Huh?  I mean, people in Japan do not speak like super heroes, spies, or act bold or capricious in real life.  Anime is art entertainment, not even drama.  It would be like walking around, talking like one of Clint Eastwood's characters, or Superman or Batman.  Don't... just... don't.  Could get giggles, if you know what you are doing...  I'll be bach!  But, yeah, no.  So... it won't be a direct translation, but enunciation is usually exceptional, and much to be learned and heard.  Practice hearing should help, a lot.

If you can't see the links, let me know.  I could try to change their color.  This is just my study plan, from what I have read, as I understand, and what I believe.  Your mileage may vary.  Good luck, to any who dare?  I should think so.

Ah, now to see about getting that lock removed.  Good morning and day.

Ah, this is about right.

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The first section kana, hiragana.  I had to review before I could decide if the pronunciations sounded right to me.  And, I haven't finished all of them, if I have looked them over and sounded them out.  However, I think this is how they are sounded.  There are some I will have great difficulty with.  Still, good to have a sounding which I believe I do trust.

Urhm? Well, awake still.

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I checked outside a bit ago.  It was 50!  Quite nice.  So, I moved the wheelbarrow with logs over to the unloading zone and unloaded.  Then I began raking the area I want to move the rabbit cages and hutch over.  It is shadier, on that side of the tree.  And, set with lengths facing east and west with the open short front and back facing south and north, they will get the optimized cool air and greatest shade during the day.

I was about to begin loading the wheelbarrow when the ducks decided it was breakfast time.  And, given the work area is in the immediate vicinity of their breakfast zone, I came on in.  I will get out in a bit, and begin loading the wheelbarrow.  I might be able to do two wheelbarrow loads?  Three?  After, a break.

Though, I do hope, if I can get that loaded, that I can then get the trailer over to the green drop zone and unload it.  If I can do any more work out there, it might be to begin raking the yard, pulling looser piles and individual twigs over into a singular pile for picking up later.  Work is much easier when it is cooler.

Though, really, I best close up the cave before it starts warming.  This front room, even with the machine on all night, is at 72.  Quite nice.  I left windows and fans on upstairs.  I haven't been up to see what that is, but will get up, shut it all down, and begin the ac, at least one, probably to the west so the sun isn't hitting that side.

I may try to do a bit more yet today.  Some dishes, towels which can be line dried, and maybe some picking up and breaking down boxes... moving a few more out?  Hey, if I could have done this before, I would have.  I have simply been in a tough way.  I'd work every day if I could.  Or... as many as possible.  Today is the day!

Oh... as to Japanese?  I... did order a few things.  From several sources, it was suggested to start with Hiragana and Katakana, so I ordered several books of these, two various takes.  And, for next month, I have several books, of more humble aspirations.  I can always obtain more academic tomes, and probably will at some point.  Each either has audio with it, or available through the author.

I now dream of a visit to Japan.  Though I think it would be just asking to be buried in people, they way they are might... make that reasonable.  It, I might suggest, is why they are the way they are.  How can you be human, and live buried in humans?  By appearing very polite.  Though, I think, with lethal consequences for any who can't stay within that.  The mask of civilization is far thinner, but far stronger, than in America, or even Europe.  When it breaks though?

Of course, they have closed their boarders.  I am not even sure about the Olympics.  Maybe.  Then again, I am not looking for a trip next month.  It would take years for me to save for such a visit.  Japan and the coast of Australia were my last two hoped places to visit.  Australia, the place I wanted to visit, is no more.  I would no more visit Australia than I would visit Detroit.  But, for now, so far, Japan is a place I would still visit.  Once, or if, the mask falsity, and covid baloney, ends.  As with Utah, Japan is exceptionally... bureaucratic.  And, in times of... confusion... that can be a bad place to live.  Or if you piss them off.

The reason I would like to visit Japan, isn't as a... friend.  But as a once enemy.  That will never change.  But, it has changed.  It isn't as a wolf, visiting sheep, or sheep visiting the wolf... all participants are a bit of both.  Or more, or less.  It is to remember what my father did there, and what happened all around, and let go... I think in part for him?  But, to see what he couldn't have seen in his day, or even in his life.

No clue.

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Bedtime?  After 08:00?  Before 07:00, 11:00?  I... simply don't know.  The sun was up, but it is up around 06:30?  06:00?  I... can't be sure.  I woke... around 17:30, or 18:30.  No... 17:30.  I had a discrepancy in time pieces... I just solved it.  So, yes, I have been awake for an hour.

I started on insulin a bit ago, again.  It has been staying around 200 to 225, off insulin, eating one meal a day.  I hadn't been eating kefir, just drinking water and a meal a day.  Sometimes a larger meal, though I missed food a day or three a week.  It had gotten up to over 300 with a larger meat yesterday, so I hit it pretty hard.  But not extremely hard, with insulin.  It dropped to 78 within an hour!  I was so cold!  I took a roll of carb tabs immediately.  I didn't feel bad, but I knew if I didn't do something, I was about to feel really bad.

It fell hard and fast.  So much so I was shivering in the computer room, which was still 76.  Brutal.  That is what finally chased me to bed... the cold!  I still didn't want to sleep in too warm of an environment.  Even if it felt cold, I suspected I would get heatsick from it.  So I kept things going to keep it around 73.  However, I ended up having to bundle up in three blankets, and would have added another if I could have found one.  It was down there, just... so tired!  I... did what I could, shivering all night.

Blood sugar is at about 225 this "morning".  I still feel off, as I have been.  Hoping to push through.  I set a few of the pots and pans to soak last night, and will hit them shortly.  Food tonight?  Something, somehow.  I did reset all of the kefir.  I'll put up what is ready as soon as it is ready, checking each jar twice a day.  Some of it just ripens faster, some of it takes days.  It's... an odd thing.  

Each jar has it's own little system going, and works faster or slower.  Perhaps one gets a draft, so ferments slower?  One has more of one or several sorts of bacteria or yeast, so goes faster?  I can't be certain.  But, it is set up.  Even so, it takes a couple days in the fridge before it is good to consume, as I see things.  First it has to be cool enough, second, it really needs to finish fermenting... a cold finish.

I suppose I could get a can of sardines.  I try to eat a couple of those a week.  More an edible vitamin than a taste treat.  I need to get back to cooking, to get liver back on the menu.  Liver, bacon, and onion is actually okay.  I tease that it is fantastic.  Though, sometimes, if it's been a while, it can be.  But, when it becomes a regular item, it can get a bit boring.  Just the truth.  Hmm... you know... wilting greens on top, sometimes, might help?  Variety...