Oh, right, the news.

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I am beginning to believe, in spite of his public support, Trump meant to keep zerocare in operation.  Why?  For the reason I have suggested, he stated, and because there wasn't another option.  Was ryancare really a loss?  I don't think Trump was in on it.  He was just letting that thing handle itself.  Wouldn't surprise me if he soothed ruffled feathers for the nays in the background.  He really never did say he would end zerocare.  However, he knows he was elected, in part, to do that very thing.  The problem?  Dems are holding out and Republicans are split.  It's not... doable.  Not yet.  Zerocare has to burn before something can be done.  And... it will.  Ryancare simply wasn't tenable.  And it's a damned good thing enough Republicans realized it.  If too, many who voted for it, or would have, did so (mostly) because they were sure it would not pass.  Dog and pony show, much of D.C., as with Hollywood, is just that.

Now, what will congress and Trump do?  Probably not much.  Every big government program they truly cut ends up cutting off some of their revenues... personal and "social".  Billionaires and senators, perhaps less so representatives, don't have friends.  All they do it balance assets and allies so as to accrue the most.  There is some hope that Trump is nominally more allied with Americans and American business interests than has been the case.  Even Republicans are not pro-American anymore.  They really can make more from foreign alliances.  Trump?  We'll see.

The border wall seems to be moving forward.  Could it go faster?  You know, I don't think so.  It takes a while to create the criteria wanted for the wall.  What is really needed to complicate passage.  Then allowing construction companies to review, design, price, and build a sample?  That takes time too.  Especially when bureaucrats and even elected and some appointed officials are dragging their feet.  This is as fast as could be expected.

A wall won't be enough, alone.  But it will stop mass transport.  Foot traffic, through some of those areas, isn't actually possible.  People who try often die.  Still, that is a choice.  It is no different than if some of them try to swim around and drown or get attacked by sharks or other creatures.  It is a risk born of choice.  Not our monkey.  Still, I am hoping there will be heavy patrols and very easy ROE options.  A thrown rock?  A bullet back.  Escalate?  Call in state and national guard.

Of course, it looks like Republicans are not playing well with Trump or our wishes.  That has to be sorted.  Do we want to cut off our nose to spite our face?  Well, yeah, actually.  If need be.  There is some level of negotiation.  But if a, or a group of, congressmen isn't going to play ball, force them out.  I promise, while it might hurt in the short term, it is much better to have Republicans who play like they are with us than to never know what the brand means.  Clear and clean.  If we are going to lose, best to lose honestly than to have their team playing in our colors.

Busy, busy, busy, and yet not much more, of any importance or longevity beyond the next president with a pen, has been done.  Even the wall isn't much without changes in law, fixing the judiciary, and some other things.  Then again, with a president who doesn't uphold the law, there is some limit to changing any law.  With nearly half of the people willing to vote for a criminal, where does Christ have a place?  Right?  This isn't His kingdom, but it can't be completely let go?

Later.

Yes, yes, I'm awake.

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Another dark morning.  Cool.  It is raining.  It's a good day.  I keep falling off medicine.  It's the dark and cool.  I'll get back on it.

Last night I finished the last of the fresh seafood.  The oysters they shucked were larger, better for stews and soup.  The crab was cleaned, so easily just heated and then eaten.  I heated it slowly in the oven.  Aluminum foil and a higher walled sheet pan made that easy and makes cleanup simple.  Some use the broiler for that.  I just don't always like the exact timing for that.  Especially when I am doing other parts of the meal at the same time.  A few ticks too long and you can mess up delicate meats.

I am hoping things warm a bit, and lighten a bit, so I can straighten medicine out and begin tearing into the house.  I am nearly finished with dishes, and back into laundry.  I am running on fumes, though, because of the weather and medicine being problematic.  If it happens, it might happen in a hurry.  I finally have a paper shredder to tear through a lot of mail and other material.  And the weather is getting about right so that when money is good a large bin can be brought in.  As I said though, I want to have some, say half, of what is to go sacked or boxed and ready to go.  That will both make the first load or two easy, and help me gauge how much I am looking at, how long I'll need the bin, and set me up... sort of prime the process.

As well?  Hmm...  I have been thinking.  I have been looking for a lawn tractor which can pull a hauler, add a snowblower, and maybe some other things.  While I can shovel, I can't always shovel in short order.  Life seems to push really hard at times.  Now, if I have the time or am in no rush, I can still shovel.  If not, or if I wish to keep the frontage area clear, this would help.  Of course, there is mowing too.  I might even be able to make a deal on that.  At least when I fail.  Though this might make mowing much more... possible.  The thing is, I'll need to buy things in parts.  I won't buy a snowblower until fall, for example.  Though, up front, perhaps that or a less expensive mower, plus a hauler.

More?  Yeah.  I... am beginning to rethink gardening.  I can't do open spaces.  However, what about square foot, or similar?  Raised beds, drip water, and a few other things that would make weed and other problems less difficult?  I REALLY want to garden.  As to watering, I may even attempt to dig a channel for the delivery hose.  A lot of work.  If I can, perhaps find someone who can.  I can't seem to get a clear idea of the frost depth.  I have seen several seeming numbers, from 12 to 21, maybe 38 inches?  I just can't quite get it.

I know, I know.  Promises, promises.  And, yet... Maybe.  Oh, and I have been reviewing various lawn sprinklers.  I really want to keep up on some of this, or catch up on some of it... something in there.  Next time I am in town, I may look for grass seed as well.  A lot of it.  Later.

Winged principalities?

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A dream, a potent one.  Perhaps just for me.

In the dream I was a great dragon, a winged, legged, serpent.  Green of color, a titan among my kind.  Only three others, of different colors, could call me peer.  I had moved to the old West, since my West, the people of it, in the Americas, had lost much of it's, their, soul.  I, a creature of chaos, had not built them up, only bringing internecine war until a time when the peoples who could unite did so, then arrived in force.  Neither, in those days, did I care.

Oyster shucking.

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The fish and all arrived today.  One portion of fish had to be cut to bag in portions.  Two other sorts of fish were already in serving, or smaller, sizes.  All had to be separated into serving sizes and put into 'sandwich bags', then each type was put into their own bigger gallon bags.  Double bagging works better, if it's still a bit limited.

I ordered several dozen oyster.  It will end up being more than I can eat.  I would love to share it but I... living in the interior, in farm country, and rural to boot, means not many have a taste for seafood.  I'll eat what I can and the rest?  I'll see if it freezes.  If so, I may do that.  I just... have my doubts.  Lemon and oyster is good enough.

Of course, even with a good bit of cleaning before, during, and after the process, the place has a fish shack smell.  That is part of the price of admission.  Well worth it, since it will be short-lived and just once in a while.  I have never shucked oyster before.  I have eaten them, and liked them.  I did well enough.  No puncture wounds, and I got most of the sand and grit out.  I'll probably do one last batch for eating raw, on the half shell.  Before I do that, I'll put a bit of cocktail sauce together.  Mixing it up, lemon on the side first, shrimp cocktail sauce next, may make consumption a bit easier.  It's been so long since seafood was a very regular part of my diet that... it's a bit of a test.  At one time, if I could afford it, five dozen was doable.  A bit of a stretch.  Now a couple two dozen may be it.  Three dozen?  I just don't think so.  And it goes bad so fast.

I probably overdid on food.  But, for a bit, I wasn't sure, and went without much.  I may be overcompensating.  Oh well, it'll do.  Good night.

About the fish I wasn't going to order?

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Right.  About that.  I placed fish and oyster into the shopping cart.  I followed through as far as it went.  I guess I misunderstood something.  You see, I kept waiting for a credit card box to show up.  It never did.  So I kept going until the process... ended?  Yes.  I didn't have the feeling that I had ordered.  In fact I had.  I got a call a bit later and... something happened on the line.  Anyway, I got a call a bit later, again, and?  Well, this time I was asked for my card.

Now, while I... wasn't sure it was right, I went ahead with it.  Why?  A, I had ordered, even if somewhat accidentally.  B, fish sounds good.  C, it really is a good price, for fresh US (or otherwise trusted source) fish.  I'll be a little more careful next time.  Still, that is enough fish for, say, twice a week for three months?  Give or take.  I really do enjoy fish.  If Utah has one flaw it is that it is inland.  However, I think there is always a trade-off.  Basically Utah has most things.  Though, politically, it has started slipping.  It is in a slow slide to cuked-conservativism and liberalism.  I am not sure it can save itself.  It is heading the way of Iowa when I left it.  Yeah, that's... a hint.

Sole, cod, red snapper, shucked oyster and lived oyster (want to try their stuff on the half-shell), and a few other things.  How good?  Time will tell.  Oh, and I think it will be here today or tomorrow.  If this works out, and I like what I get, I'll place an order every few months.  Some things are way beyond my reach, or ethical allowance.  Good food is one thing, luxury is another.  A single king crab, for example, is 16 times more than I would consider paying per pound... or was it 28 times?  Or more?  And that isn't even per pound of meat.  That is shell weight too.  I just... won't go there.  Luxury, for me, is $10~$15 a pound.  That is steak, pistachios, and such.  While I may be going to steaks much more often, I will, in time, be eating less of it.  Rather than a pound and more per, I'll be eating half of that, as fat becomes the energy source.

Anyway...  I best check on the hog.  I should be ready for it next month, for sure.  I love pork.  It is a different meat from when I was young, but in a good way.  Mostly.  It certainly isn't as strong as it was.  Not as fatty.  Both a good and strange thing.  It used to be so dearly rich, too rich.  Though now it is mild.  Which is good most of the time.  Just, sometimes... nostalgia beckons and cannot be answered.  Still, it is a wonderful food to have on hand.  And, if you fry it in old-school lard, you can... cover some of the memory.  Yeah, yeah.  I best check on it.  Pork chops and ribeye, with hamburger on the side, will become my main foods.  Greens, as much as I can keep up and on hand, as an add.  I need the potassium, and some other things, even with the pills.

I might make a taco salad, or something.  Take a shower.  Then get to the butcher shop.  I've... been testing their patience, if not intentionally.  Working with the holy half dead can test the patience of even mothers.  I was... good at that before I became better at it.  :p  Gah, though, I just can't seem to get going!  Later.

Whought?

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So dark this morning.  Again.  I thought it was later.  Actually I slept longer to sort of pout.  Have you ever pout slept?  You should try it sometime.  The thing is it wasn't nearly as late as I had thought.  It was later into 7:00 or early 8:00 when I woke, or finally got out of bed.  That may seem late, especially if you have to be up by 6:00 or something stupid.  Just remember, I don't have a schedule because I can't keep one.  And, the last few days I have been awake later, like 9:00 and 10:00, perhaps nearly an 11:00 in there?  So 8:00 is early.
Things to do, as soon as I can wake.  Ugh.  But first, waking.  Later.

A tree down.

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A neighbor had a problem.  I suppose wind?  In any case, a tree dropped.  It was only, say, 30 or 40 feet, not heavily branched, and probably no more than ten inches, perhaps twelve, at it's thickest.  He had no chainsaw, or other saw.  He knew I did.  I am glad to have been called to work.  I'm not good with housework.  But work work I can and like to do.

I sawed it up rather quickly, without any troubles.  I saw where it would tip, sawed branches and the main to that point, then flipped it just right.  Cutting from then on was rather simple, if I had to be careful not to dive into the dirt.  Then I got to drive a loader for the first time.  No stick, anymore.  I even got to play with the scoop angle and height.  Yeah, that was worth the price of admission.

I'll admit, it wore me out, just a bit.  I haven't been doing much, as you may well know.  So this sort of effort was a bit of a push.  All good.  I really enjoy those sort of things.  Yap.  I may not be a working man, but the notion is there.  I would if I could.  Better?  Work as an engineer part time, r&d part time, and construction part time.  Yeah... that would be the thing.  Some parts of the year more one type than the other parts of the year.  If I was healthy it would be a partial plan.

Now, to figure out something for supper.  Good evening.

Good, the phone rings through.

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Well, on one of the jacks.  I asked about extensions, to create jacks where I want them.  All good, should work with the main line being good.  It ended up that the line to the house had to be restrung.  But, then, somehow, the line higher up on the pole got damage, or was damaged and ended up needing fixed.  He couldn't reach it, needed a bucket crew.  The line is set for when the bury crew arrives.  Murder lot of work.  Oh, as well, the whole box had to be rewired.  Yeah.  Looked fun.  But it is working.

After getting the good news and ensuring the line was live, I asked if he liked ribeye.  Yeah, he said.  Got a wife, I asked.  Yeah.  Shouldn't have asked said I.  Still, I sent him with a few steaks.  I might be a grumpy cuss, but I can be grateful too.  Get out today?  I'm... not quite up to it.  I will be tomorrow.  It's as good as I can do.  I might try to do a few dishes, and have the tub clear and ready for a shower, maybe tonight, definitely tomorrow either way.  Love showers.

It's still so dark.  It's just... difficult.  Something I did earlier was look for another fish shop.  I found one that looked good.  I actually called the shop.  Mostly US, with some British Columbia sourcing.  No packaging in China, no product from China, and the prices... are a bit better.  Shipping is a bit higher, but the prices make up for it.  I'll be ordering from them.  Today?  I had thought so, but then I became a bit nervous.  Next month.  I have added them to my blog roll.  I sure hope they work out.  It will mean the difference between four fish meals a month and four fish meals every four months.  Yeah, I like fish, from time to time.

I did speak with the guy at the meat department about it.  I told him I simply can't trust even packing in China.  There is too great of a risk of them adding in their fish, or contaminating even that process.  China, simply, about some things, cannot be trusted.  I wish they would listen to their shoppers.  And care about their health.  The risk is not worth the price savings.  But, it's corporate, and they don't care about some guy who works or shops at one of their places.  I guess enough people are willing to pay less for less.  Crazy thing is, other than the shipping, the US prices are no worse, for the most part.  Perhaps they can't get it in the bulk they need.  Which makes China business even more risky, to my mind.  It means they are definitely filling in with their fish when supplies or prices are high.  Not worth the risk.  I'll do some investigating about salmon.  Not my favorite fish, though the neighbor lady has taught me that it can be quite good if done right, if it's truly Alaskan, and processed in the US (and, I suppose, Vegas IS mostly the US), I would consider that fish.  Even the higher cost wild-caught from time to time.  Buggers, but getting good food is complicated these days.

Well... I'm... getting some things going.  More soon.  Still a bit cooked for various reasons, but I'll keep at it.  Good day.

Ah, that is the problem.

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I didn't realize the phone line didn't come in with the power line.  You don't know many things until... well, until you do!  Now I do.  As well as the phone line coming in from another, different, pole system, mine was down altogether.  So... that would be an automatic problem.  The phoneman is going to hook it up, for now, but call in for the line to be buried.  It comes through a rough area, where branches fall often, and larger branches.  So they will just bury it.  It sounds smart to me.  I always worry about water and such, in this area.  Though that might not be an issue here for a long time.  All good.

I'll check the phone from time to time, as he is working.  When this is done, and my mother obtains a phone of her own, I can kick cellphone service.  If I ever need a phone, I'll buy one of those card-Walmart (or other) phones, get a card and charge it, then destroy it when I am finished with it.  Long travel, and some other things, might make that advisable.  The nice thing is, with a sledgehammer and a few minutes, it is securely disposable.  And it can be charged, and kept in a small faraday cage until needed or disposal.  I hope cell companies go bankrupt for the anti-Americanism they have helped precipitate.  And the politicians and bureaucrats who worked that need to be go away.  It is too bad they won't be fired and denied their pension.  Just doing my job is not the right answer.  Though, who knows.  It might still happen.

This means, if I can keep at things, I might be able to pick up the meat and maybe get in for a bit of shopping as well.  If, today, is a key idea.  If, if, if.  All good, there is tomorrow.

Faster than anticipated.

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A call to the phone company.  Some trouble getting through, but I am motivated.  I hoped a tech would be by in a week or three.  Nope, today.  No idea when, however, so... again... I am stuck at home.  The fee is, usually, $75~$85 (couldn't make her out, both low volume plus English as a second language as well as disinterest).  Since this is a new line, the fee is being waived.  Or... I think that is what I heard.  Fine, fine, the savings in going to landline is worth the hassle.  And they are doing good, though in covering a mistake they shouldn't have made.  The installer should have contacted me and checked.  A good correction for a bad decision only receives a limited amount of gratitude.  Still, could have been much worse.

I hope it is done earlier though. I am several days late picking up the steaks.  It would be nice to get that today.  I did show up Saturday, but was off a day and thought it was Friday.  Yeah, I know.  When you are just at flipping over and losing a day, telling which day it is becomes difficult.  It may well have been Thursday when I called in the order and Friday when I went to bed.  See what I mean?  I do well at tracking the days, these days, but there are times which are more likely to end up in failure.  Flipping days are among the most difficult, as well as getting used to medicine.  Actually, I was running both scenarios.

Still dark.  My mind is a bit klutzy.  I am waking in the morning, and sleeping fairly well and right in the mid-evening.  I won't complain.  Oh, and it is a good cool feel.  Not cold and not hot at all.  Well, and I do like the dark, sometimes, more than not.  Until I need the sun.  Actually I think I can go either way, really needing the light or desperate for the dark... more the former these last few years... as I am awake more, and enjoy being awake more.  I suppose when the heat becomes too much, and the summer draws long, that darkness is more wanted.  Or any time I simply need more sleep.

I have been enjoying Dexter.  As I might have mentioned, if our causes and exact natures are not identical, there are... similarities.  His seems to be little, personal.  If I have a major darkness, it will be global in it's reach.  The funny thing is, as I have myself I would call him... monsters to monsters.  We are the things monsters fear, should they ever think about it.  Some of them would claim things like us, most monsters consider us... blasphemous, abominations, terrible horrors.  And, yet, those who we would serve in our darkness also consider us monsters.  There is no pleasing some people.  *grins*  Heck, there is, for some of us, no pleasing anyone.  Well, I think my Lord is... satisfied, understands, knows, and is grateful in His own way.  Not sure about those like Dexter.  Though given the givens, if there were such a one, I think... there might be room.  Heck, all I can do, even for myself, is hope.  Retired or not, and for now until then, I am what I am, if I was called.

Good day.

So dark.

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I woke sometime between 8:00 and 9:00.  Actually probably earlier, but it didn't look like it was day yet.  I can't believe how dark it actually is, or was.  It is lightening just a bit.  No worries, I don't see much rain or snow arriving.  I'm not sure about flooding, as snow up high melts though.  It wouldn't be much of a problem right here.  But serious flooding could cause some problems getting to town.  I haven't seen more than a scare of that.

I received an email telling my my phone should be working.  I would like to have had someone stop and make sure.  I was here, so it wasn't for lack of that.  I really hate companies who connect and run.  It's pretty chickenshit.  Very.  I'll check my phones, see if I have anything working through either of them.  I had a few other questions too.  I suppose I can look things up online, but that is general, and often questionable, information.  How long can I run a split line, for example.  I don't seem to have a connection in this the computer room, or the living room.  How many splits off one line, or can I add two splitters in a row?  Say, bring a line from the bedroom or kitchen into the living room, then split one off from that into the computer room?  That is, assuming any of my lines actually work.

Today?  A shower, dishes, picking up the meat order, calling the phone company to thank them for the chickenshittery and ask those questions, or get them back here if the phone doesn't work.  I'm not paying for a dead hookup, either.  It's such a nasty greedy rude world these days.

There is some hope I'll get to these things, and more.  Oh, and catch back up on medicine.  I keep missing.  This time it was being laid low by the dark and cool.  I just lose track when it's like this all of a sudden and for a while.  I'll... get back to it.  Later.

The problem with Republicans.

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Obamacare-light?  What that is saying is a continuation of socialized medicine.  Look who is supporting it.  Republicans who don't face a challenge in '18 and leftists dressed as Republicans.  Who is against it?  Republicans who will have to face typical conservative voters.  I am hoping the latter win.

It would be better to kill zerocare, even without replacing it, than to allow any part of it to stay.  If any part of it stays, it will very possibly eventually lead to singlepayer plans.  What is that?  It is government controlled medicine.  If this isn't stopped it will only become stronger.  If they cut it a bit now, but leave it rooted, it will destroy medicine in short order.

Some are trying to accuse Republicans who know better, or at least face elections by people who know better, of standing on principle.  This... isn't principle.  If zerocare or zerocare-light are the law, then there will be no difference.  Might as well keep it pure zerocare, because that will burn out much more quickly and force a total revision.  Zerocare-light will, as has been done on almost all things government, merely kick the can on down the road for... who knows how long.

Choices.  Burn zerocare-light.  Do NOT let that pass.  You have to kill this thing now.  The cost, in all ways, for Republicans to not listen to us and to not do what is smart, is total disaster.  Chaos is coming.

If they disturb your Zen, give them a bird.

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No, not that bird.  And, not always just one.  Flock them, if need be.

Well, it's just a suggestion.

Ah! Can't travel today.

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Not immediately.  Telephone installation.  I have no idea when that might be.  I best keep my phone nearby and such.  Oh, and I could look for the various jacks.  I know there is one in the kitchen.  I think there is on in the bedroom, perhaps both bedrooms.  I would like to check the bathrooms.  Not terribly sure I want a phone in bathrooms.  Then again, if your luck is like mine?  It's when I am in there that I receive calls.  It makes one wonder if companies think they are funny or cosmic alliances try to be so.

I have two phones, currently.  Nothing fancy with them.  However, they are corded start to stop, no open air communications.  If they want to bug me, they'll have to do it the newer old fashioned way.  It used to be that they had to literally attach something to the phone.  Now, more often than not, they can simply splice the lines and listen in at their leisure.  Well, and if you transmit over the air, they can grab that.  My bet is they don't even bother with judges when they listen to the airwaves.  I wouldn't even say they are playing fast and loose.  I believe our government has completely disregarded judicial oversight (if in some cases rightly, that is breaking the system).  At this point the government is weaponized against us and the judiciary, through it's own corruptions and overreach, has crippled itself and seems to be insisting on going all the way.  Just telling you.

I might have time to pick up the meat that was ordered, or not.  If so I will, and might make it on in for that last little bit of shopping.  I opened a tin of butter, nice to have, but it's... not as good as fresh butter.  Powdered milk just... doesn't cut it.  It would be an emergency staple, nothing more.  Yeah, I'll get in either today or tomorrow.  Oh, and I should check on the hog.  I don't know if I will do lamb again.  It was great, but a bit pricey.  Pork and beef, and now I am adding chicken a bit more, for meats.  I'd love fish, but what I can trust is out of my daily-driver pricing.  To get something that doesn't "pass" through China (which means... they can't be trusted, it is just as likely stuffed with their own poison-water caught fish)... it's $30 plus per pound for that.  Maybe a quarterly treat, no more, I have decided.

I just wish I could figure out fishing.  A week up there, a month... camping and eating from my freezer... would allow me to catch trout.  Have to avoid some waters though, they require you to take lesser fish... no catch and release on some.  Can't guarantee trout take.  So be it, but I'll fish where I can make that choice.  If I could get to fishing, and get good enough at it.  *shrug*  If I had a friend to go on fishing trips with, that would help.  Though... maybe even not then?  Camping and fishing, cooking out there and all else, is... a bit of effort.  Once it's down, though, perhaps... it might be more doable?  Hmm... I might, actually, know someone.  If I could afford the extras and gas, and he could talk his wife out of his presence for a bit or to go with...  Could be.  I might check on that.

Oh... on to... something.  Later.

Another day.

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I probably should close up the house at night.  It's still a bit too chilly.  It makes getting going a trifle complicated.  I may have to turn the furnace on for a bit this morning.  Best to turn it off by noon though, as the afternoons are getting a bit too warm.  No dreams or troubles, just a good sleep.

Dishes, today, and a trip to pick up steaks.  I forgot a few things when shopping, and am running out of milk from the second to last shopping.  Mustard, milk, butter, and 8-gallon trash bags should work.  I bought a couple of trash bins, one for the laundry room and one for the bathroom.

I have tried the step-on lid-opening trash cans, just one, in the bathroom.  I find it annoying.  I may dust it off and see if anyone wants it.  I even bought trash bags just for it.  The whole thing is annoying.  Somewhat fancy, with stainless plates.  Never really did end up using it.  Hate to toss it, but that may be what happens.  Trust me, annoying.  I much prefer something that is always open, has a larger target for trash, and allows for the bag to be pulled and replaced without some strange and complicated process for removal and replacement.  And it doesn't hold much.  Bleh.

Yeah, but first turning up the furnace and waking.  Later.

Another dark day.

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That and I had the windows open.  I thought I would be able to work through it.  I ended up going down for a serious count.  Eventually I had to shut the windows and turn up the heat.  I still napped a bit longer until it was warm enough so that I could wake.  Ugh... a four hour nap.  I crashed so very hard.  It is still dark, overcast.  It's not a bad thing, it just, along with the chill, was too much.

I am hoping to get to dishes before too long.  And if that goes well, then hit dried laundry.  That may be it for today.  I simply don't have energy beyond that.  Two dark days, back to back, crashed my systems.  Later.

Another day, a good one.

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I did have a troubling dream.  In it something broke my front door.  It wasn't meant to enter my home, but to disturb.  It wasn't even a physical attack, it was spiritual.  It was meant to annoy, insult, or such.  Old friends.  Very, very, old friends visited.  Friends no more to be sure.  And, yet, kin as well.  That will never change.

I called the police, though merely to make a statement so that insurance would pay the damages... or at least that avenue would be open.  I warned them not to approach unless everything seemed right to them.  I asked that they sound their alarm when they arrived so that I could go out to them.  I was unwilling to have them harmed for this.  I told them to drive on by if a large darkness was present.  Sure, they might have thought be a bit crazy.  But, oddly, I have saved disbelievers lives in the past at such a risk.  They don't believe, but if something is odd they will leave.  They will continue to deny, then treat me differently from then on, but they will live.

The sun hid.

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I'm not sure if it was mostly that way when I woke, or if it happened sometime midday.  All I know is, at about midday, I myself clocked out.  The house is airing out, windows open here and there.  Life is more comfortable with fresh cool air.  But with the sun being a recluse, sleep took over.  I feel exhausted even yet.  I am trying to avoid killing my schedule fully though.

I set the dishes to a fresh rinse before going down.  I'll have to dump some of that and refresh it, before drying them.  But I think I can.  The only other thing I might get done yet tonight would be working on laundry.  Fried.  I'll make some large effort to kick those things out for a clean start tomorrow.

Oh, was having internet problems.  Either the internet, my portion of it, or the mechanical nature of it, is a problem, or it is busy.  It really isn't built to handle anything close to full demand.  When you have an hundred passengers on a device meant for fifty, the experience tends to suck.  Oh, no, we don't have a problem, they will say.  What they won't say is, yes, YOU have a problem.  Get it?  Me either.

Hopefully that has improved, but I don't see how it would.  What happens in a pond full of fish trying to suck too little oxygen out of too little water?  Increased demand.  Eventually it, along with much else, has to pop.  Building that much infrastructure isn't... really... possible.  Not quickly.  Regardless what they say, the plan is for fewer workers, getting money this or that way, with free services to occupy our time.  Well, and sites to "register" our unhappiness about "x".  Ridicules.  Do you think they don't know or that they care?  They will give what they want.  They will merely gauge when they have to give more grain, blood sport, or "X", depending on their whims, not our needs or even wants.  Volume equals another release of something.  I'm telling you, better to hold onto your rage to make sure things change, not spend it to notify them to send more "X".

Hmm?  Oh... nothing.  I don't think most get it.  Yeah!  Go team "X"!  :p

No time for that.

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I escape there from time to time.  That I live at all is beyond... probability.  Some have even attempted to help get me over, for their or my purposes only they, for sure, can know.  All is never as it seems.

She tried to save me, a she, several of them.  The first who tried thought she failed.  She did, but it was not I who was lost.  The world, and seeming reality, is upside down in strange ways.  She did lose me, but in the end it was I who survived.  If in a place and way so that I could not save her.  Though I am all but certain she could not have been saved.

There was that.

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I am not sure when I went to bed.  Perhaps after 18:00, maybe even beyond 20:00?  Perhaps before 18:00?  I just.  I kept looking at the time, hoping to remember.  I simply did too much, and was awake too long, given recent history, to have had anything left for that last bit of memory.  No worries.  I am more than enough happy with what I did and how long I was awake, especially given recent history, to have to pay that minor price.  Right at bedtime I flipped and flopped the mattress, then made the bed.  A fresh linens and a freshly made bed, turned down, is a treat.

Today?  Hopefully, mostly, dishes.  At least what remains to rinse, then at least a first soak and wash for what remains.  As well, work on laundry.  Mostly dealing with the clothes and linens that have been washed and dried already.  If those things go forward, I will do one last thing and hit more dirty laundry.  Small batches, folding as I go.

As that goes, so goes the rest.  This week will be dedicated to getting the kitchen back in order, the bathroom put back to rights, and food back to production.  Then back to the main bedroom, then living room.  Separating what is to be thrown and what will otherwise go where... and calls to find out how much a dumpster costs and considerations of when to get one in.  If I am mostly ready for it, I can probably get it for as little as a month with weekly pickups, maybe just two weeks if they will work that way.  But I have to be ready to toss, at least mostly.  I have purchased a heavy duty shredder both to that end and to begin keeping up on "mail".  Most of it is junk, but all of it seems to have too much information on it to be lightly tossed.  Munch a munch.

I honestly am a bit surprised with what I accomplished yesterday.  Today will be a light day.  Then, maybe, as much as I can, back at it tomorrow.  Oh... my ps4 updated.  Now I can't watch video.  What do these clowns do?  If you can't get it right, pretty much every time?  Don't do it.  These updates aren't helping anyone.  It is just them trying to hold onto every little penny, and trying to force us to play games in such a way that they can expose us to as much advertising and social conditioning as possible.  Louts.  If you can't even do it right, don't do it.

Later.