No time for that.

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I escape there from time to time.  That I live at all is beyond... probability.  Some have even attempted to help get me over, for their or my purposes only they, for sure, can know.  All is never as it seems.

She tried to save me, a she, several of them.  The first who tried thought she failed.  She did, but it was not I who was lost.  The world, and seeming reality, is upside down in strange ways.  She did lose me, but in the end it was I who survived.  If in a place and way so that I could not save her.  Though I am all but certain she could not have been saved.

I am warming, but still suffering, from my most recent crash through the ice.  I have been there so many times.  It's still always harsh, and a struggle.  Sometimes more painful, sometimes less.  Sometimes it's... just another fall, without pain or complaint.  This time was a moderate suffering.  I'm still in recovery.  The only sure way is work, and pain.  I can coast under the ice, in the cold, for a while.  But that is sure death.  Never give up, never give in... hold fast until you are ready to grab the thorned rungs of life and begin climbing again.

Climbing, again, today.  And maybe for a couple of months, or more.  I am getting better.  Each year is seeing to longer and more effort.  Falls come in various sizes.  This last one was exacerbated by external stressors, and, to a degree... maintained.  Until I had some idea of how things were going to work out it was better to... relax into near coma and... be patient.  Now it is time, so...
Funny, or sad, how things work out.  I would have saved her if I could have, she the same, if... perhaps... both of us had very different notions of salvation.  I think, for her, to her, I should be gone.  To me, she should still be alive.  Is that relative, is one right another wrong, are both dubious or correct.  More tea and more time to wake.  While I... warm.  God bless.