Some, one, of you see all too well.

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Mystery.  I will warn you against letting her be any such thing.

It seemed so late.

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Probably because it seemed so bright?  Yea.  The sun is out, and with fresh snow covering even my driveway, it is gleaming as well as shining.  While technically awake a bit earlier today, the truth is, even going to bed rather late again, that is an comparatively earlier wake.  More, I was awake for hours before, but I didn't want to wake.  Why?  Was I just tired?  Did I feel cold?  Were my aches and pains too gnawing?  Some of all those, perhaps other problems?  Or something(s) else entirely?

I can't say.  I just know I was avoiding waking, but did, eventually.  No worries.  I am up, heat is going, I am mostly dressed, and I will begin things shortly.  Ducks, cats, resetting dishes, medicine down, a fresh pot of tea set, then a break.  Then dishes and kitchen surfaces.  After I just don't know.

Day two of fasting.  It's okay.  I am hoping to make it to, possibly through Monday.  I am going to try bone broth with a teaspoon of cream instead of butter today.  Later, after an a. c. vinegar ketonic and maybe a hot tea.  Everything, otherwise, needs to be unsweetened until I begin hitting 150 and below, blood sugar.  Then back to one sweetened in three.  The rest of my fasting days I will go without broth.  In my next extended fast, I will try just salted and peppered broth.  I would like to consume four to five cups of stock a week.  Though drinking or in gravy is all the same to me.  Oh, with dishes done, the stove cleaned, and the rest happening, I should make chicken stock soon.  I ought to by a good chicken soup spice mix soon as well.

I've been up since 7:30?  Oh well.  If I could push that to 5:00, I would.  Hmm... now that I am doing better, I should try it.  This is better?  Yea.  Later.
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Tried cutting the waterpill, from three to two.  Nope.  In the weeks since the appointment.  Lungs are filling.  Even drinking a lot less doesn't matter, if it isn't, exactly, fluid consumption based.  It is more about blood backing up into the lungs primarily, with a side issue of high volume fluid intake.  Then again, low volume for me is two gallons, possibly more.  High volume is closer to double that or more.  It is still a lot.  Doc wants more potassium if I take more water pills, so...

Blood sugar is slowly coming down.  Not much I can do other than fast.  I expect it to break today so, maybe today.  Just in case broth is a problem, I will skip that experiment today.  Tea.  Yeah!?!  Blah.  It'll work.

Some things.

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Target practice, light.  Then driving lessons.  I did shower.  As well, the dishes were washed and set to a rinse.  I hope to finish the dishes tonight, and feed the girls a second time.  If that goes fast enough, I'll do more work in the bedroom.  I will probably get trash out tonight as well.

Xylotol gum really jacked my blood sugar.  It came down a hundred and more the last twenty four hours, but is still 245.  With it so high, I am experimenting with bone broth.    I am just finishing a quart, half water, half broth.  I added a teaspoon of butter as well.  I'm trying the more extreme volume and additives.  Next time, it not too bad, I'll try it with cream.  Then I'll halve the doses... unless they spike blood sugar forty or more?  Well, I can go down in volume.  We'll see.  Completely done with the gum now.

No, it isn't the tastiest stuff, but it isn't bad.  Fresh ground pepper and Himalayan salt can always be added, cream and butter, especially while fasting, is the doubt.  But it would definitely be fine on non fasting days.  I really need to get back to intermittent fasting as well.  It's just been a rough return to medicine and that flu episode to top it off.  I'll get back to it.

It started snowing, hard, about half way through the lesson, but nothing to serious to cause concern.  I'm not sure if it is going to leave another pile, but the blade mechanism is in good order again.  It'll just be getting to it.  I'll check in an hour.  I'd like to do it if it needs doing.  The neighbor is fast though.

A bit of work would help lower blood sugar.  Nice, but I don't want it to throw of the broth test.  Still, the dishes and bedroom work might be used to that end yet tonight.  Later.
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Blood sugar dropped twenty points nearly two hours after.  Two more hours on, consuming nothing but refrigerated plain tea, it is up to 258.  I'll check things tomorrow, with cream instead.  It may lower it, but somehow later raise it.  Or, it just does what it does.  Still down a hundred points and change.

No work.  Too tired.  Tomorrow.  Good night.

Not bad for not being great.

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Up just a quarter before or after 10:00.  Some of my clocks are an half fast, some are right, I can't remember which I viewed.  Bedtime was way late, past 1:30.  Why?  I kept hoping to push through to more work.  Then just couldn't quit trying despite getting nowhere.  I did cycle dishes through three times.  Take care of the critters, watering and feeding the ducks twice.  Little things.

I am about to hit the dishes.  I'll wash them thoroughly, then set them aside to get a shower, then reset them... either to soap or rinse, perhaps some of each.  Something happening this afternoon.  Fasting for the weekend.  If I have energy I will hit the dishes and bedroom this evening.  Slowly getting done.  Not as much as hoped in the bedroom last night, some though.  Even just a bit of work really pays off.

Ducks this morning, cats and meds right as I finish this.  Then dishes, a shave, and a shower.  I am ready for this afternoon, if it works out, other than grooming.

I was... a little surprised at the response to the last post, and my counters to those.  Yeah, you have done well.  I will kick something out for you shortly.  Strange what you boys and girls see and say.  Some of you get it, or are right in line.  Do you really know... or almost, or do you merely parrot?  Not sure which is most troubling.  Still, it does bring a smile to my lips.

Later.

She says.

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Something about a hope.  Promise.

A bit.

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Dishes are set, chicken is brining, and the grill is started.  The counters are slowly being cleared.  When I reset the dishes, or wash them next, I plan on setting a dish pan of hot soapy water so as to wash flat surfaces, those cleaned before and hopefully all the others.

Well, chicken is cooking and dishes have been reset.  Too greasy for a wash this time.  With dinner closing in, I'll hold off washing the counters.  Just having the dishes going is good.  A bit tired, but I want the dishes out of the way for a shower.  Having little energy else, all I might do beside dinner and dishes is an hour or two in the bedroom.  It won't be all that much work, but it will be a nice little chunk.

Then, perhaps, a shower.  Bed as quickly after as possible.  I keep missing meds.  I should be able to get all of today, but I missed yesterday evening.  Actually, that is my first missed dose in a week or so.  Still, almost turned into a habit.  I'll get it tonight.  Oh, I need to begin checking bp.  It will be high until psychosomatic application doses in.  It does need the medicine, but also daily, or nearly, testing.

Later, or good night.  Might have something for you in a bit...

Heat must go up.

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I forgot to raise the thermostat.  Not sure it would have mattered.  Tired today.  Ducks and cats taken care, nothing else so far.  Hoping to get dishes started, then brine chicken for the grill, and get the grill going.  Anything other than chicken?  Perhaps, if the romaine is still good, and avocado.

Anything else?  I do hope to do some work in the bedroom.  It is getting done, slowly.  Just a few hours a day means far more is being done than is being undone.  One set of clothes is being put in the hamper, at most.  If two to four small boxes of clothes or items, minimally, are being sorted and arranged, I am winning the war against clutter.  When I get to putting one of the storage units up, it will be downhill.  Having easier access to permanent storage, with enough volume for pretty much everything remaining, even with just one of the units, will pretty much settle things.

No shower, certainly not yet.  Even with the furnace up, I'm still chilled.  I... just... not this morning... I'm not up to stripping and showering, not yet.  Maybe later.  It really is possible, and a shave.  If I can dig through dishes and finish the counter tops.  It is getting late, darker, and not warming.  I'll just have to see.

Later.

A wonderful sleep.

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No aches, pains, stiffness.  No cats either.  Did I roll?  Enough not to hurt from a lack of such.  My innards hurt a bit this morning, but the rest is good.  I am suspecting xylotol o.d. to be honest... for the g.i. and organ pains, and the high blood sugar, after the fast food and pancake incidences of late '18 and early '19.  I had hoped to be able to use it sparingly, after a. c. vinegar ketonics, but the gums are addictive, to me.  Oh, and that much xylotol acts as a laxative.  Almost had an accident.

Up late, to bed pretty late though too.  Sleep was worth it.  I'd like to shower first thing, then get on to the critters.  Then set up dishes and begin in on the bedroom.  I wasn't sure yesterday, but today it is looking strongly possible, probable.  Fast, slow?  It will be steady, most likely.  With medicine I will take aspirin.

I have a container of soaked chia and ground flax seed to try for breakfast.  I wanted to see if that works two days out.  I have chicken drumsticks thawed for later.  Fasting will start tomorrow or Saturday.  Two or three days, then similar fat fasting.  We'll see if blood sugar can be whipped back in line.

First, I have to wake.  It has stopped snowing.  Probably close to after when I came home.  It is still dark, and extra cold in spite of being above freezing.  It's the wet, in the air and melted on the ground.  I'd like to do shopping, but won't until next week.  I hate it when a food list develops in my mind right before fasting.  :p

Later.

Not as much as hoped.

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Fair though.  I was shoveling eight to twelve inches to create paths and do the front walk.  It was a lot more work than anticipated.  A shower before, some sorting in the bedroom, a few other things... minor things.  I did some solid work, made calls and appointments, went with for the repairs and then supper.

I am hoping to get to dishes, the bedroom, and the kitchen table tomorrow.  It is less work, but much more work by number of projects.  I have no idea if I will be in any condition to work.  It is the goal.  I have been keeping up on the cats and ducks.  Almost spoiling them, if I do it gladly.

A lot more tired but in a real mechanical way tonight compared to the last week.  I should sleep quite well, maybe wake better too.  If so, I'll try to hit it harder, faster, and earlier.  Good night.

It's still coming down.

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Snow, snow, and more snow.  It's an odd snow, very moist yet stacking like powder.  It has just the right consistency and it is just the right temp.  Six inches, eight?  Every woman's dream, mostly.  As mentioned, some don't like it thick.  I did finish enough to get the tractor out and allow for deliveries.  It about kilt me, but done.  A shower before.

This time I didn't pile clothes on too hot.  Other than two pair of socks and gloves, just normal clothes, with a synth t, open hooded fleece woodsman's jacket, with a really loose water and wind proof shell.  Practice when I can.  I didn't get too hot or cold or wet.  I will eventually get out in this.  Might even figure out where to camp.

If I didn't mention, an appointment has been set up with the doc.  And fixing the weld has been tentatively arranged for this afternoon.  I have some gifts to go along, if I am not taking it.  It would be a pricey fix at a shop, and yet the machine is being used for others in need locally.  Still, good salami and another minor gift... just seems right.

After a break, I will get dishes started, hit the other counters and sinks, take another break, then hit the bedroom again.  Yeah.  I'll keep at it.  I may have bruised my mackerels shoveling, but I didn't break them!  Woot!  Yes, I'll keep at it.  Maybe a hot fatted tea during my break.  Hot fluids can help with cooldowns while cold drinks can help me warm up.  Odd, but for me true.

Later.

So dark.

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Waking was a chore.  Then again, so was sleeping.  I was to bed by 21:30?  Close either way.  I couldn't sleep well, then had to get out of bed for... a while, at near midnight.  Up for forty five minutes to an hour and an half?  Getting back to bed, then back to sleep, was difficult.  Just a tough night.  Perhaps work is getting to me, little as it is.

It was a bit because it was so dark, and partly due to the trouble with sleeping, that waking was hard.  Innards are feeling wonky as well.  If there is enough pain, it is easier to stay asleep.  That wasn't the case today... just another complaint, not a speed bump.

Why so dark?  Snowing.  Heavy.  Ugh.  I am hoping it it stops before too long.  Either way, sometime after noon I plan to get the plow going.  Wait... can't!  The blade lift bar is still broken... the weld is broken that is.  Crap.  I will start in with the shovel I guess.  Ugh.

Until then, back to the bedroom.  Bits and pieces.  Breakfast, a first breakfast anyway.  A chia and flax seed slurry, soaked overnight, then with a cup of raw cream.  I will be cutting down on nuts, adding them every third time, and as occasional snacks, with cheese.

Oh, I would like to get a shower before anything, and at least trim the whiskers. Hmm, I might call someone who might be able to fix the weld.  Oh, and I need to call my doctor.  The d.o.t. didn't receive the paperwork he was supposed to have filled out.  I'm not sure if this is just another bureaucratic attack, his passive-aggressive lib secretary, or something he is doing.

I best get to it.  Later.
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A bit of both, w/r to the d.o.t.  The doctor is pushing for six month visits and d.o.t is pushing six months down to four months on top of it.  I may have to... sort this out, one way or the other.  Oh, and I called about the spot weld.  It will be doable, but later this afternoon.  Yea, I do my best.

Still snowing thick, but dropping straight down.  I will probably shower, then just shovel as I can.  At least open a path to the road for the machine, and ups guy.  Ugh.  Later, again.

Didn't care for the leg of lamb.

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Perhaps it was in the freezer to long.  I cooked it perfectly, by temp.  It was grainy and strong tasting in spite of using the right spices and lemon juice.  Perhaps I have lost my taste for it.  It is an acquired taste.  Oh well, it was worth a shot.  It sure looked, even smelled, great.

As to work, I kept at it.  I am not close to done.  I started in the bedroom and never finished.  Clothes being sorted, stored in temporary groups, being folded and some put up.  This and that else.  It will take a while, but should be easy to maintain once done, as then there will be double, and more, space for everything.  More so if I do end up sleeping on the floor, so being able to roll my bed up in the morning.

I am not working all that fast.  Today was a bit slower.  And, yet, I continue to hit it.  Three to six hours a day, four to five days a week, and life is really shaping up.  I am extremely tired, if that doesn't seem to be caused by the work.  It... just is.  On the bad side it makes getting started difficult.  On the good side, it means I can work a bit without a real cost, as long as I can start and continue.

Yeah, I'll keep at it.  Medicine is staying on track.  Blood sugar is still a bit high, I'll have to fast this weekend.  Ugh.  I'll keep at it.

Oh, I received a form from SSA, telling me I received my whole SS income last year.  But I didn't.  They stopped paying me in July.  Ten to one they are giving my money to some illegal in a sanctuary city or state.  These anti-American bureaucrats can get away with anything at this point.  Is anyone able to do anything about this, stop them, return my income?  The president is too busy trying to stay out of prison to help, surrendering whatever is required.  With Romney as senator, no help there.  He, like McCain, hates Americans, would rather illegals get our money.  Yea.

Good night.

A sunny new day.

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Laundry was folded, not put away.  Dishes were finished so the shower is open.  After feeding the ducks, a shower and the last of the dishes set to soak, probably.  Between finding and making more, dishes never seem to be done.  A break, after cat care, then tearing into my room and setting up one or both storage units.

If that gets done in a timely manner, with energy remaining, I would like to hit the kitchen... the tabletop today.  It seems cold, may need to turn the furnace up a bit.  As tired as I am, I keep working.  Nothing fancy, but much more done than undone each day.  So very tired and yet moving at a decent clip.  Having to take a break, I just started a gusher nose bleed.  Doing anything but sitting and the blood gets through.

I'll get to things when that backs of.  Later.

A good finish.

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The last of the laundry folded.  All save the pot in which spaghetti was heated is washed.  While I didn't get a shower, it will happen tomorrow.  Driving lessons, doing well.  While out, a bit of shopping, including eyehooks and wire to stablize the cage basket wall unit and freestanding closet.

Plans for more this week.  As well, I am hoping to keep going with housework and maintenance.  I am extremely worn, but I hope to keep working.  Slow is okay if faster would be better.  The last dishes and counters, making way for either the closet or shelving, then installing whichever, perhaps a start at clearing the table as well tomorrow.  It's... a before terminal impact plan.

It's well past bedtime.  I'd best take medicine, aspirin, and hit it.  Good night and God bless.

A reasonable start.

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Dishes were reset.  While at it, a pot of hot soapy water was brought to the kitchen to touch up areas previously cleaned by which they were cleaned again.  Then the critters were tended.  It is sunny out there, but cooler than the 15° temp would suggest.  Still, it's bracing, refreshing.  Then I finished folding the second to the last load.  I will fluff the last load after this.

Breakfast in there, with a fatted tea.  A bit of sorting while waiting on breakfast.

On a break, I tried to call my brother.  No answer, so I called my mom.  Mostly good news, save the weather.  I had good news for her, as they get our weather a few days later... the sun is coming.  I told her I attempted to call my brother.  Both numbers, she asked.  Yep.  She suggested I call after our conversation.  I said I would, but wasn't sure.  I did, he answered, we had a good talk.  All very good.

When I start the laundry, I will begin heating lunch and then finish dishes, using the pot again.  While talking to my brother, I checked trash.  I can't remember if it was emptied, so returned from the curb or not.  I will check after lunch.  As well, perhaps a nap, after a shower.

Getting to things, if still rather tuckered.  Small batches and loads, short work cycles, higher frequency of work periods, and it is working.  Later.

Still a bit rough.

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The cooking pans were all set to wash.  I will reset those shortly, washing the stove as well.  The neighbor cleared the drive last night, then headed out.  A weld broke, the same as last time.  So he couldn't finish other drives.  Not sure if he was able to get it fixed this morning, and finish.  I just woke.

While he was doing that, I shoveled the walks.  It is such little work, but wore me out completely.  It isn't that I have been doing much else.  The little else I am doing is wearing me out as well.  A couple of batches of dishes will exhaust me to the point that folding clothes while seated isn't possible.  It's not the kind of exhaustion that allows for sleep, or I would do it.

I hope to finish dishes and clothes today, then do some work in the bedroom and kitchen.  I think I can, will, today.  I will also try to get back to eating right, mostly.  I found a package of pasta so made spaghetti last night.  I may finish that, after breakfast, then roast a leg of lamb later.  The spaghetti was truly good, perhaps great.

The sun is trying to break through.  It would be good for mood.  Winter has gone rather dark lately.  I don't always mind, even always notice, unless I am ebbing low.  Innards are sore again.  This time not from sleeping too deeply, or without rolling enough, if my mattress may be a bit worn.  I may get rid of the mattress and boxsprings, and try sleeping on the floor.  If I like it, I might then purchase a mattress made for the floor, and a matt for under it.

I best get the critters fed.  And myself.  Then reset the dishes.  If I can get the dishes pushed out, a shower would be good.  Then laundry, or work in the bedroom.  I will just have to see after that.  With part of the cages set up, some of them free, I have places to put things.  As I clear space, I can put up more cages and the freestanding closet.  Further, when I remove the bed, the floor bed can be rolled up and put out of the way in the mornings allowing much greater access to the far length of the closet.  A floor bed has more advantages.  I may put a foldaway computer stand in there, as my day computer area, and turn the front room into a seasonal sitting room.  Too hot in the summer, to cold for others in the winter, good for spring and fall.

Hmm, ducks and cats?  Definitely.  The natives are getting restless.  Oh, dreamed I befriended another breed last night, of a different sort.  There is something especially hollow and lonely about not really having a people.  Especially when the composites are all enemies.  Do Eskimos ever use the actual name of their tribe/people as their last name?  Sometimes?  I'm curious.  Can't remember exactly, but I'll know it when I see it again.  Though it may just have been similar...  Innuit?  Or A... something.  :p

Later.

From the north.

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Snow, driven horizontal by the wind.  Large juicy snowflakes, which melt to instant frigid rain drops immediately.  I decided to give the ducks fresh water.  Even when it is cold, perhaps especially, they love water... so long as there remains light.  Clean ducks are warm ducks.  Although, were it not for the wind and juicy snow, it really wouldn't be cold.

I finally saw Susperia, the new take.  I knew, a short way through, what was going on.  I recognize my sisters.  I didn't know every bit, just the main plot and a few side notions.  No more will I say.  I would hate to ruin it for anyone who hasn't watched it.  A hint of sorts, to my way of thinking if not suggested in the movie, in the last sentence for those who follow a bit, remember, and connect dots.  I will now view the original.  All I know is the stories are very different, only with the same basic setting.  Know?  Well, have heard such said.  I was... satisfied with the production.

I also, finally, finished pots and pans.  However, I am hungry.  I might be able to fast but I won't.  I am having difficulty figuring what to eat.  I need meat.  I would have gone out, but not with this snow.  So I am thawing some meat, some of it more quickly.  Terribly hungry, mostly for meat.  I had a bowl of popcorn to no satisfaction, even with lots of butter.  Meat, I need meat.  Eggs won't do either.

I am hoping to finish the last of the laundry, then perhaps get to the bedroom for a bit of sorting.  Things are getting done.  Even, tired, achy, troubled, I am moving further ahead than backsliding by far.  I'll keep at it.  Later.

Better.

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The aches and pains?  I think those were from sleeping without rolling enough.  As it got cooler, after the false spring thaw, the girls curled too closely.  I slept so hard in the renewed cold I didn't realize I wasn't rolling.  To test this, I have been sleeping alone the last few nights.  Perhaps it is just coincidental, if I have other reasons to think not, but the pains are much diminished.

Days are getting longer, sun is more common and frequent.  It's gone back to being cold, 10° F, give or take five, yesterday.  Enough that I refreshed the water for the ducks. It wasn't frozen by afternoon, but they used much of it.  With spring coming, I want them to have extra food and water.  Laying will be happening soon, extra food and water will help that.  Of course, I am hoping one of the ladies will go broody, so no eating of eggs for a bit, until I can get, say, twenty five under her?  The extra after that will be for food.  It is their first laying season, so their very first eggs might not work well for anything?

Fasting today and tomorrow, for sure, maybe an extra day or two.  I have conflicting beliefs about whether broth can be used during fasting.  I want to see the effects of fasting first before testing that for myself.  That will mean no broth until Monday, perhaps Tuesday, if I fast that long.  All that will be added is water and salt, about two cups total.  I am looking forward to the test, in hopes I can have broth occasionally while fasting.  Not daily perhaps, but every other or third day, perhaps to extend fasting.

Oh, I am hoping to craft chicken bone broth early this week as well.  With two broths set up I won't fear supping on, or using the broth more often generally.  Three pints a week offers six servings, or four and a gravy.  Sure will go through it fast.  With two broths of similar amounts, quarterly broth production?  There is something good about broth, if many people look at me weird if discussed... so I've learned not to talk about it.

Oh... I am going back to Brigg apple cider vinegar.  It just... it is better.  I hate it, but it is true.  You can make the stuff at home, but you have to keep up on it.  This is as good as I can do.  If I found a good wife, with an interest in such, I could teach and help... especially moving large containers.  But I can't track things well.  Definitely going back to an a. c. vinegar with the mother.  Tastes better too, not so harsh, and without an ammonia aftertaste.

Later.