Oh?

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Well?  Yes!  Vodka, about three shots, in with about half a dose of my fatted coffee (half the quart jar), is working splendidly as a throat lozenge.  Too bad I am an expensive drunk.  As mentioned, a dozen shots of the stuff didn't twick my fizzle last time I tried to get a buzz.  Though, next time, I will probably try just a single shot.  As mentioned, I'm not in it for the buzz... just the throat pacification.  It is doing a splendid job.  I have only, probably, consumed a third of the drink.  To be honest, vodka, any alcohol, isn't my favorite.  But... it does have it's uses.

A bit more gaming, then to bed.  I just wanted to share the, to me, amazing effect.

If I were to pass on information, I would suggest people blow their noses, clear that out as well as possible, and keep it cleared.  I'm not sure the vodka will do more than offer an easing of the sore throat, and clearing of some of the thicker mucus that sometimes gathers on the throat... when that happens... especially while consuming dairy, but some relief of some of the symptoms, I personally think, allows for healing more quickly.  Blow your danged nose.  Yes, I have probably gone through between two and four boxes.  But... yea.  

Oh, the pan I left on?  It's one of the few stick-frees I have remaining.  I thought it would be toast... or the pan equivalent.  The puck of what had been food was char, pretty much.  I looked at the pan bottom.  It... well...  I'll see, after washing it.  But, to be honest, it looks functional.  Will have to see more closely soon.  Very odd.

I usually keep these in store.  I have enough for a year, or two, of normal use.  Then again, first thing as I wake, and last thing before bedtime, I like to clear my nose so I can breath through it and easily.  I am down to half, may have to reorder.  I am dying, as the old Yoda.  I do my best, but there is... no real hope.  Perhaps a lot of time.  Which... in ways... may be worse.  If I could find a woman, a woman I could trust, I would surely do so.  How do you find a good woman, on your death bed... even if in perpetuity?  I think it's the trust thing.  They are almost all democrats.  So... no.  I suppose, if you can't get any, vote for a politician to fuck you?  Ha!  I slay me, you just want to.

Anyway...  Good night.

Really? Not bad.

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A bit of a very slight headache, coughs that get away from me from time to time, clearing of nasals once an occasional but definitely not constant even for moments, very slight fever... usually if I can fall a bit cool from time to time... though all lightly.  Two days of definite flu, and I am seeing the passage out.  Not in great shape, but given the givens, not bad.  Oh, well, lungs are a bit wet... I am pretty sure from the cold.  I haven't been able to keep up on fluid or feed.

I suspect milk and cream add to congestion?  But... they add mass to the fluid, which... at least for me?  Allows me to blow or spit it out much more easily.  The thicker, for me, the better.  If I probably have nasal passages twice the size of many of you.  Or close.  Everything on me is just a bit to a lot bigger, if my feet and hands are tiny for my size.  Yeah, I still wear and extra large... I should be grateful, if I have some... different notions about that.  Actually, how many of you can pee two liters, in one go?  Right.  Right?!?  Even my bladder is much larger than yours.  That's enough of the "too much information" file for tonight though.  Probably.

The waterers have been brought in.  The ducks put up.  The cats fed, and their litter managed.  I fed myself, couldn't eat much.  Then, forgot the pan was still on.  Was all but sure I had turned it off!  Oh well, I really didn't like that.  So, a fatted coffee.  And, as a medicine, soon, I think I will add a shot or two of vodka.  This... isn't drinking.  It's for the throat and else.  And, just two.  Maybe four if it does anything positive.  It doesn't give me a buzz these days, so that isn't on the agenda.  Just a bit of a throat treatment.  I might think of whisky, but I fear carbs.  So, vodka.  Actually truly medicinally.  Yea, it can work.

A bit more gaming, then hopefully on to bed before long.  I am nearly through.  I am all but certain.  Later, maybe much later, or probably good evening and night.  And... cheers?  Yea.

Up, quite late of course.

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I think it was around 13:00?  Maybe 14:00?  Some time between, or a bit before the former time.  I mean, before 13:00.  Did I write that right, or did you read it wrong?  Just... asking for a friend.

Milk and whipping cream arrived today!  Oh, I so missed that.  couldn't eat, or it, or much, for a while, so... still, missed it.  I got payment out right away.  Hopefully we can go to a two month check from now on, starting next month.  If I do it right, that... while costing about $90 a month, can cover about forty to sixty percent of my feed a month.  Well, half on some months.  Food prices are changing radically from month to month anymore.  Our parasite overlords are finding they can only leech if the victims have blood to bleed.

Sleep was good.  I didn't even half to walk and mess with t he nose, mostly, through the night.  A few wakes to blow my nose, clear the air, but that was it.  No fever, no chills, slept pleasantly warm, only woke a few times.  Coughing a bit each time I woke, but back to sleep easily after whichever minor process needed tending.  And I had the furnace down at 66, and the upstairs is, of course, colder.

I have the house heating, as well as rabbit water.  I'll be out shortly.  I know, late, but with the illness, weather, season, and else, not bad.  It is as good as I can do.  I'll check the temps while I do that... which I will do now, since I remember and realize the hour, then finish this...  Okay, it is around 24 out there, but sunny.  And, yes, that makes a difference, a huge difference.  It feels smiling warm.  Though I may be slightly fevered, so...

The ducks fed, rabbits fed and watered.  I emptied and drained the pool last night.  I do that much more rarely, just adding a bit as needed, plus some runoff.  They seem to love the runoff.  Now that I don't need a hose, and messing with that, life is better for everybody.  In the summer it isn't an issue.  I move the pool, near and far, so they don't strip any single area.  

Then cats were fed, their water refreshed, and litter tended.  A happier home that way.  The girls seem terribly extra hungry though, lately.  Sam stays skinny, like a cheetah, but eats voraciously.  My food, getting into trash, her food, hard food, wet food, treats.  She is ALWAYS eating or looking for something to eat.  I am almost worried about worms?  Hmm, might have t o treat for that.  If, to be honest, I think it is just age.  She forgot she just ate.  To keep thin, she vomits.  It's how she does.  Sassy?  No worms there!  She's two to three times the size of Sam.  When Sam goes, Sassy is going on a diet.  Sassy is why I don't think Sam has worms.  If Sassy loses ten pounds, I'll know!  :p

Someone has been around my mirror... showing me things.  I may post it later.  I am saying all I am seeing is the life of Brian, they are saying I am not seeing all.  Time, of course, will tell.  But to the child of a dragon, who will feed you back an edified, fortified, blessed form of a portion of the darkness of man, it... doesn't matter.  I am, in flesh or spirit as He wills it, here, waiting, at your command... as with all the horseman... for the change of eras, or for the end.  We will be with you, for your own good or ill, until the end.  More for the final harvest, if not the end.  Amen.

Yes, visitor, a single one, who knows how to aim precisely.  A visitor telling me I am not seeing. And, either fairly, or merely playing games.  Though, to be honest, there... I... may have some spark of trust.  It would be good to give men that spark that keeps them from servitude.  Which allows them to keep their nations, and keep them separate and right.  To be quite honest, on this one?  A one world new world order?  You don't just oppose God, you oppose Satan.  I... really wouldn't wish to be in your shoes when this all shakes out... which can be soon, a year from now, or many years to thousands of years on.

As I have mentioned, in mirth?  While Satan, evil, is patient.  God as vastly more patient... and sure.  Facing one of these is terrible.  Facing against both is... well... I hope most live to see the results.  Amen, again to thee my brother, I say amen.  How would I know God?  Read, it's as good as it gets.  But God consistently states that He made nations of men for the varied men.  As for Satan?  I knew her very well, still do.  I even love her, rightly.  I wouldn't... go there if I were you.  It's a long... road back from hell.  But, she too, favors nations, separate and divisible.  There is only room for one snake, in what remains of the seeds of the garden, and she is a vengefully jealous twisted sister.  I would wish some good luck, but... nah.  Later for sure.

Not a terrible day.

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A sick day, have no doubt.  Runny nose much of it.  Coughing, comes and goes.  A bit too warm, a bit too cool, but all manageable.  I've probably gone through a box of tissues, maybe a bit more?  I have three boxes, near where I set most often, so it's difficult to know.  But I would bet closer to two boxes in the last two days.

My nose gets sore if I blow my nose incorrectly.  I have learned to... moderate.  All I really need is an airtight seal, mostly.  Sometimes I grab my nose with a lobster hand.  Yea.

My mother suggested I use vix.  I have it too, from the last time she advised me.  I... just... haven't used it in many years.  I don't get sick often.  She said she rubbed it on our feet, if I don't get that... and our chests, when we were small and would get ill.  I didn't remember the feet thing, but the chests I remember.  I would only try it on the feet if wearing socks to bed... and maybe I will.  Some nights I do, as I feel the need for extra warmth, other nights not so much... my feet get too hot.  But I could put it on my chest, and would put it in a vaporizer, if I had one.

Coughing has been sporadic.  I've definitely had worse.  Sore throat yesterday, mostly gone today.  Ibuprofen, my dose (which is much higher than your dose), and about to dose again.  I think that is helping.  Not to be used at all times, due to heart problems, but useful at moments.  My mother suggested a different one, tylenol?  Maybe.  I would like to keep some things on hand, but it can be years between use.  It's often so out of date I am unsure whether I can use it.  None of that stuff has a very long shelf-life.  And, with medicine, I hate to waste my money and time.

Yea, it's 04:07 and I am still awake.  Oddly, comfortably.  This isn't insomnia.  It's... just... I am finally feeling a bit better, am not tired, and am enjoying my time awake?  Yea.  Like that.  I'll be heading to bed before too long.  Just not quite yet.  With such a long day up, I have fed the girls a third time.  Who knows how long I will go down this time.  I won't do a goal, illness... I won't fight that.  I'll sleep when I am tired and get up when I can.  Even if it is just to feed the critters though, I may get up just for a bit and go back down.  It's the best I can do.

Have a good day, morning, whatever.

A rough day.

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It could definitely be worse.  I have had the flu for over a week, and in absolute misery the whole time, with diarrhea for a while, all the symptoms I have now, at full blast, over an extended time.  And more, I think.  Still, it's not pleasant.  It seems as if the symptoms are easing, though can't tell.  An odd, if more minor, complaint, is that my forehead hurts.  I have had fevers do that, but I haven't had much of a fever ever, and what of it I had was early yesterday.  The skin feels bruised.

I was going to cull rabbits today, but the neighbor didn't show... or text.  I just texted him.  Meant to call if off anyway.  Yeah, I got it from him.  Wouldn't surprise me if he could get it back.  This is a virulent strain.  Oh, he is saying about five days, for the heavy, and he is still having a runny nose, as with the last of the bad days... which was when we picked up the cage and else.  So... yeah... a long one.  Then again, he works a lot and goes outside fairly often to work.

I called my mom.  Somethings we can't discuss.  Politics.  So, this time, both of us left that alone after a brief review.  To be honest, it looks like Trump is trying to commit suicide through politics.  Could he have won?  I can't say.  I think he had the people.  But every time the people stepped up, he backed off.  I have never seen such a calculated attempt at suicide in my life.  Further, he went all the way then just changed his mind, in many ways.

Is he trying to commit suicide to show us that our votes don't matter?  I already knew that.  China, India, and Mexico, among others, get more say about US politics and business than the citizens.  Now, it was always supposed to be republic, but a pro-American, not American-hating republic, as it is now.  And it was supposed to be informed by a functioning democracy, not this China style stacked game called democracy.

I quit years ago.  I realized my votes aren't counted any more in Utah than they are federally.  As seen in congress, the faux representatives absolutely agree that we have no vote, nor  should have a vote.  Why should we, if they don't?  My only question, is why make believe.  Or do most people actually believe the lie?  My job, at this point, is as with the invasion of the body snatchers, I guess my job it to avoid as much as possible.  Too old and ill to escape, or more than I have.  Now I realize why people are all wearing the mask.  They fear Biden.  He may well have cops shoot those who refuse.  Yes, I watch as they all bow.

We no longer live in America.  It might as well be China.  Which is why I am having so many troubles.  Social Credit Score, on both corporate and government levels.  It's already in play.  America is now just like any other third world nation, and will continue until we become what South Africa is almost at.  I suppose they were just waiting for someone like Biden, to look the other way while they murder every white in their nation.  Hopefully it will be a while, but not as far off as for some of us.  You know who you are.

Anyway...

I am looking forward to rabbits.  Might grill, or roast, a few... if he has the time.  Which means I need to do some cleanup.  If I can.  Ugh.  It's late.  But, with the nap, it would be later down.  I'll get to bed soon.  I got the waterers in, got the girls a fresh dose of water, and might even have bite to eat.  A few of those brats and... something with them.  Not hungry, but best to feed these things if possible.  And, it's possible.

Sleep was needed.

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I didn't actually get down until 11:00.  I checked the rabbits.  Water was still good.  I kept forgetting to check the temp.  I can't always tell if it is at risk for heavier freezing or not, without looking.  I woke at 14:00, so a slightly longer nap.  I again checked their waterers, all good.  This time I checked the temp outside.  It is right at 28.  Just close enough so freezing won't happen with a bit of use.

I finally called an attorney.  I did get through.  The first attorney won't take the case.  They don't "specialize" in my sort of case.  He gave me a phone number for a national registry of attorneys and wished me luck.  He believes SSA has changed how it handles disability claims.  Essentially, I make to much for SSI.  And the only way I could stay on SSD is if I was getting "quarters".  In others words, I am too disabled for SSD and make too much to be on SSI.  There may be no hope on this at all.

I called the other number.  They are on Eastern time, and end their day earlier.  I will call Monday, early.  Yeah, but it's not looking good.  I'm not sure why he even bothered, but it's what I have.  Why SSA wouldn't just tell me that?  They never did say anything, other than that they believe I am no longer disabled.  Which... is a lie on a lie, if this is the reason.  And... who was getting that last year of social security checks, after they stopped sending to me?  Someone was.  I still think they are using it for illegal immigrants.  We will see more of that soon, if all things go as seem to be going.

Ugh... too warm, sometimes... too cool sometimes.  At least I am not having heavier fevers and heavier chills.  Just... temperature moods, mostly.

I am not sure I can keep the house or car as things go.  I can't afford them.   Not with the need for a new furnace.  We will see.  But it's looking dubious.  Oh well.  A home is a bit of a major expense, in every way.  And only ever a dream.  Later.

Not a bad day for being so terrible.

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What?  I mean, for as terrible of a shape as I am in, life isn't bad.  I forgot to take ibuprofen too, which I will remedy immediately.  I should get my meds set up too, if lightly.  Going with just the water pill, potassium and other vitamins, and perhaps the smallest dose of heart medicines... or at least the ones I can take without too severe of side effects.  

My plan to block the nose part of the time doesn't work while sitting up... or standing if you do that.  The runniness needs to go, so will just keep flowing.  It doesn't work while awake.  Okay, but at least it helps at night.  And it really helped.  Even though I had to wake every two hours, it was far less a bother than to have to wake to fluid flooding out, hoping it wasn't blood.  Oh, sure, I still keep the towels up there, wrapped around the pillow, as I have for a month or three (?) now.  Funny thing?  As soon as I put the towels on, I have not spilled any blood on that.  And I have only had one bloody nose, other than last night.  I catch them now, before a drop hits.

The ducks and rabbits are fed and watered.  The cats have had a meal, and are about to get a snack as well.  More, their litter will get hit.  I need to eat but can't cook.  Too worn, more than tired.  Muscles ache as is, so tinkering only exacerbates.  Fine, but... oh, I'll figure something out.  Hmm... I wonder if their is a soup shop in town, that doesn't add stupid stuff.  Low carb, chicken veggie.  Though A beef stew, by someone who knows how to do it, would be splendid.  And, if I were going, and it were possible, I might get a large batch of each.

First though, a nap.  It will be a relief to be done with the runny nose for a while.  Even if it is just a few hours at a time, that is so much better than having a constant, or nearly constant, runny nose.  Hmm... a few cough drops would be good?  Wait, I think they load those with sugar.  Even "natural" cough drops are filled with it.  Instead of sugar, or corn syrup, they use pure cane sugar... as if that makes a difference.

I could check amazon.  Not sure I trust their products, certainly not their prices.  And, yet, the devil if you do, the devil if you don't.  Worth a shot.  As slow as they go anymore, I'll be finished with the cold by the time they arrive.  Still... I got the ibuprofen just ahead of time, though only because the last flu I got pushed me to it.  It only took three years after?  Four?  Heh.  Might as well check about cough drops or sich.  Late, but not unusually so.  Actually... after only one bought which derived the consideration.

A nap.  First.  All else can hang.  It's only 10:11, so... not bad at all.  Up by noon, one?  Hopefully.  Then a few calls, check the rabbit waterers, and... who knows.  Good morning and day.

The best rough night I have ever had!

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Ibuprofen probably helped... with the fever, aches, swelling from this and that.  But technique helped more, I should think.  Then again, technique may have only been possible because I could think my way through to solutions.  What solutions?  Let me tell you.  It might even help you, if you catch something.  A cold or the flu, anyway.  I have it that China flu is not as... watery.

I did get to bed earlier.  No choice this time.  Definitely by 20:00, though I can't remember if that was the time I saw going to bed, or the first two-hour shift.  I woke about every two hours.  My nose would run, and being so terrified of having a bloody nose, it would wake me before any fluid made it out of my nose.  I did have a bloody nose twice, if that was probably along with a runny nose.

Initially, I just suffered it.  The second time, however, I tried a solution...  As with regular bloody noses, I started blocking my nose with tissue.  Well, after clearing as much of everything in there out, by blowing, as possible (even when I had a bloody nose.  Clearing, then blocking any possible remaining flow, then going back to sleep.  Plus, then I didn't have to worry as much about bleeding everywhere, should it become a bloody nose.

Every two hours, and very small change, I would wake and either clear and block the nose, or take the blockage out and also blow my nose.  It worked quite well.  And, half the time, I had clear breathing through my nose.  Plus, it never truly got congested, in spite of my methods.  It became so automatic that I started doing the process without waking up.  I just made sure I did any work over the trash pail.  It has a liner as well, so would catch anything that got by tissues.

Waking around 04:30, I wake rather rested.  I am guessing it was around 18:30 when I went to bed.  Fever wasn't as much as issue, if I think that was ibuprofen.  Which I will dose with again, this morning.  Oh, and I had just ordered C, D + else, and some other things, on top of the the regular stuff I had been taking.  I need to get back on some of the old things and some of the new things.  I am not convinced these will prevent anything, if I am pretty sure they will lighten the load.  Now, when you already have something, nothing really helps.  Good eating helps, right eating helps... if you can.  If help is marginal.  Still, I'll be on it soon.  Manganese and magnesium, daily vitamins, zinc, and potassium were already being taken, so...  Just a few extras.  Actually, I had been on vitamin b-complex but had run out.  No promises, just... from what I am seeing, these things decrease symptomatic china flu, and other illnesses.

 Now, to wake well enough to get the birds and bunnies at a bit after dawn.  My interweb routine, possibly something to eat... even a fatted coffee with that back on track a bit, and a bit of gaming.  Oh, I best feed the girls.  They are a bit upset.  I hadn't let them up with me last night.  I still have symptoms, and I have decided to continue with last night's technique... blocking, blowing, keeping it open, right on through the day.  Blocked, first thing... when that becomes annoying, I open, clear, drain, and let it stay open for a bit.  It really does seem to work.  And beats blowing my nose, uselessly, every three to ten minutes.

Good morning, and day.

A very difficult day.

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Headache, neck ache, muscle aches, fiery breathing, fevers and chills, the sniffles, and likely more.  I can't focus on what all is wrong, I just notice this and that, when the conglomerate isn't too severe.  When it is really rough, I don't know much, overcome with too many things hurting, aching, or such at a time to figure out what is causing any of the pains.  It could certainly be worse.  I'm betting the wufflu, or whatever it really is, is more severe by a tad.

The water has been staying freeflowing for the rabbits.  I added water for the ducks, their pool.  In spite of it being warmer, with the sun half hidden much of the day, and down now, there isn't much play in the birds.  They seem good, just not interested in moving or doing, even eating seems a chore for them.  I... get it, I understand.  I do pray for the critters, when they seem down, or ill, or off their feed.  I'd pray more for you, even should you be my enemy, should I know more.  I do pray, generally, for you... for what it is worth.

Even so, it was a pretty day.  While darker, it wasn't close to the darkest.  A good day for some dark mood, but something easily gotten over after a small spell of bitterness.  Bitterness?  A small portion, but yes.  Still, it makes the day a bit sluggish.  The flu might be the majority, but not all or even most... half?  Depends on the moment.  

Not quite time to put the ducks up.  The time is drawing nigh.  Though, what the heck, I may give it a shot.  I won't take the water in until 20:00 or so, at the earliest.  Unless they are frozen.  Shouldn't be.  Hmm, I'd love to put out a fresh batch, but I don't think they would be able to get much before it freezes, with the sun down.  Then again?  I... like to treat the furries.  Friends, as with many, if only... possibly... for my part.  But a friend indeed.  So... yeah, I'll water them up one more time.  After a meal, I will bring in the, probably, frozen waterers... leaving all out for the moment... if they are still flowing.

Good evening, night, and day.  Amen.

Up and down.

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With the flu, sleeping for very long isn't successful.  So tired, yet aching, with fevers or chills, and else, sometimes sleep won't last.  Down at midnight, up a bit before five, back in... sometime later.  Bloody nose to running nose, blocking it off then trying to let it flow.  Blowing and sometimes just having a normal hour or two.  Not the most pleasant, if not the worst flu I have had.

Chores, after the waterers warm.  The girls have been given a snack.  I had to reorder snacks, down to the last bag.  I swear, someone is feeding them, or 'borrowing' cat snacks while I am away.  Though, I think, at least earlier on, if I didn't airseal lock the bags, the girls would get into them and pretty much finish off a bag.  Since closing the bags, they don't disappear quite as impossibly fast.

The aches and pains that come with this though!  It also increases my exhaustion, which is winter exacerbated.  I am not sure if it is better to sleep the month away, or to be partly if miserably awake.  So tired, but I can't seem to sleep.  Not as much as I would like, or when I would like.  I am achy from exhaustion already, as well.  The flu just triples down and makes it pretty much permanent, while also depriving me of sleep, somehow.

After feeding critters, I should figure out something for me to eat.  Not hungry.  It is more that I know that feeding a flu is far better than trying to starve it.  I'm not sure there is anything out, thawed, ready to cook.  May have to thaw something.  Going to the store seems unwise, though a pickup might be a good way.  I do need fresh lettuce, and a few other things.  Later.

Just as soon as things are turning around...

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It looks like there is a new problem.  The flu, the real flu.  Too wet, from what I am hearing, for it to be china flu.  Running nose, congested, headache, slight fever that comes and goes, etc.  Most of the typical symptoms.  My guess, I got it from the neighbor.  It happens.  Although the extra body exhaustion, which wasn't repairing, might have been early symptoms.  And that dripping... it's nonstop!

I did get the critters fed and watered, checking their water several times.  It never did freeze, and they didn't drink it all.  So the original waterers just stayed out there.  It was a rather pleasant day, if not quite as good as yesterday.  I definitely need to get actual feed.  This just isn't the feed I need or want.  If they will take the feed back, I would rather just replace it.  Though, this time I will get both the meat feeder and the pellets.  I opened one of the wheat bags, but only that one.  The rest are still in the suv.

Sure have aches in my face, from the nasal passages being bad.  I'll have to wait until symptoms back off a bit.  I can make a few calls tomorrow.  But that will be it, aside from chore.  There is actual feed, lower in the barrel.  I may dig to it, and mix that with the wheat.  Because the wheat doesn't seem to be favored by anything.  Don't dare give it to the rabbits... it's just not what they are supposed to eat.

On to bed.  Good night.

How to heal faster, in the winter, and summer.

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Okay, I knew this.  I simply forgot.  My legs hurt a good deal, from pushing, pulling, lifting.  As do my arms and back, high and low on the back, shoulders.  No problem, I pushed them.  The young gent working with me was about at his limits, as to work, as well as me.  So... that... it was serious effort.  Of course, he wasn't even sore the next day.  And, often, he works that hard on any given, if not every, day.  Bleh.

I was simply not healing, though.  Then again, I wasn't dressing as well as I usually had been, so I wasn't as warm.  This morning, after showering, I layered as I had been before falling down from exhaustion.  And?  And I can tell it is helping to heal.  It will still take a while.  I don't, won't, can't, heal as quickly as used to be the case.  But this will help heal a good deal faster.

As to the summer?  The trick is to be cool.  I remember, now.  It has always been the case.  So... I'll take care to dress and be warmers.  It'll work.  It will still take a week or two to heal up.  That is better than a month or two, I guess.  If you are young, or healthy enough to heal quickly, enjoy it.  When it is gone, it's a brutal life.

I realize, now, why ritalin was so difficult for me to take.  It allowed me to work beyond my body's ability to heal.  It was brutal to take, actually.  If I had access to it, again, I might try it, but not daily.  It was so harsh, if I didn't understand why, back then.  There is no chance for me to become truly addicted.  I was on the stuff for two years, and tried to take it daily as my doctor preferred.  I couldn't.  Had to take time off from the stuff, from days to even months.  Brutal stuff for me to take.  I would do more work than my body could repair from, and every day I took it.  I just wanted to sleep, on the stuff, but couldn't sleep!

Well, now I do understand.

Chores are done.  Warming to begin repairing.  Tired, still, and quite sore.  But the warmth is really a generous thing.  Back on to a bit of resting, perhaps gaming, or on back to bed for a bit.  So very tired, sore, even if better.  

So, that is the problem.

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Sometimes it is the case, makes sense.  Sometimes there simply isn't a cause I can find.  Like it or not, this time I understand.  Everything continues to hurt.  The various pains aren't as great as they were, easing mildly each day.  Muscles, joints, even organs, hurt in very specific ways.  Most aches are as if I had just pushed my body beyond maintenance.

Now, that pushing?  Should be okay.  My problem, at this moment, is that my body is simply not healing at a rate that helps.  It just won't recover.  This mild exercise I got should have stopped aching in one day, two tops.  Though, in my condition... shape really... anything over that would have recreated the aches, only more deeply.  Which it probably did, just getting to town and doing very minor shopping.  That shouldn't have stressed, but both in the shape and I am in, and the previous heavier stress, there you go.

Aspirin.  I have skipped that for a few days, but I... want it again today.

Down later, if not as bad as could have been... a bit after midnight, perhaps as much as half past.  Up at around noon.  I wanted to sleep longer, but it hurts to even sleep.  So...  A shower, right after feeding the girls.  After I dry just a bit, and dress, I'll get the critters.  It looks like a shiny sunny day again!  If I get to see even a little sun, I will be quite happy.

I am hoping to make a few calls today.  I have to get going on some things.  Plus chores, but those are rather automatic these days.  Too many critters need too much.  I can't really take a day off.  This is part of the reason I have worked my way to this situation.  It started with Sam.  And, at various stages, I realized it was time to add to my routines.  It really isn't that much work, but it drives me to a regular schedule and to definite efforts each day, inside and out.

Well, on to whatever.  Good morning, afternoon of many of you, and day all around.

All is well. Mostly.

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The rabbits and ducks are happy.  The girls (cats) are pleased.  The weather is quite pleasant, so I am getting out from time to time to enjoy.  As well, food was made and eaten.  A very reasonable meal.

Still, I am sore.  Aspirin has helped, but only partly.  Further, while aspirin can take pain, it can't take exhaustion or the suffering from it.  There are limits.  Still, a few more aspirin, perhaps a nap as well.

As well, I finally got the computer I was building to a better pair of hands.  Hopefully it will go together.  As well, perhaps I will see it in action.  I found a keyboard, a very nice one.  I sent that along.  If, for it, I received a headset I can use, and have wanted.  I am sure looking forward to seeing how that will all go together.  It is... time.  Late, actually, but... there is time yet.

I would like to get to work.  I just don't have the energy.  Even so, I can go out, speak with the outside critters, treat the girls, and enjoy a bright sun shiny winter day.  I am hoping to get everything arranged for an early bedtime.  As for the ducks?  With the fresh hay they are ever so easy to get to go in.  They are truly enjoying the fresh and very thick bedding.  Plus, is it so much warmer.  They want to go in.

So, perhaps for a bit, getting to bed earlier might be much more possible.  I can't swear I will be getting up earlier.  I may, with a sore body, just need lots more sleep.  It was brutal to wake by even noon today.  So sore.  It was difficult to wake, even more difficult to even set up.  Ugh.  Still, I'll do what I can.  I would take a nap, but that is probably too late.  It would end up really messing with my day cycle, more than the current problem.  I'll... try to keep that.  I need daylight, want it... if I can just hold on.  Later.

So very sore, and tired.

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I have been waking since early, say 06:00?  Never able to wake fully.  I noticed my alarm was off.  I was to bed early enough?  Or... didn't think I would need them.  As it turned out I blew through them and most of the their snooze allowances, waking, finally, at 10:30 or so?  I had one or two more snoozes?  Everything hurts.  I pushed yesterday.  Which is fine, I got a lot done.

Shoulders, hips, and back out of place, biceps, front quads burned to seeming ash, and else... pains and aches here and there.  No headache, oddly.  Hmm... aspirin?  Yea.

I got to chores first thing.  Everyone has been fed and watered... save the girls.  I best get right to them after this.  It is a wonderful day out there.  At 34, as well as bright and shiny, it is quite good.  I won't need to check on water, but I will get out and see them from time to time, filling their water as it will probably go fast.  Just an excuse to be out and enjoy the great weather.  If I can handle 02 barefoot pretty much, you have to know that 34 degrees, and sunny, is alike a Hawaiian vacation for me.

I'd like to do a few more things today.  I am hungry.  Didn't eat correctly yesterday.  Was so hungry though, and being out, went a bit wild.  I'd like to see what I can make today.  Something tasty, but right.  I'll check the pork.  As well, I would like to fry meat crumble, for taco salad.  And, maybe, an egg casserole... if the eggs are still good.  Using the cooked brats and cheeses in there.  Hungry, but for better food.  I should eat something soon.  Definitely hungry.  Later.

Quite a lot done.

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Business, some of it.  The phone now has data as well as phone and text.  Ugh.  As well, I obtained milk and cream.  I needed some dairy.  Oh, yes, indeed.  Hay was purchased, and wood pellets, for the birds.  Should be warmer, fluffier, and with capacity to possibly nest.  Oh, and four more metal feed cans, with lids.

Then, on to the farm, to retrieve the big cage.  The one which will be used for weened feeders.  It will need a little work, and was a bear of a device to move, but will be a wonderful way to distribute feeders to those who would eat of them.  I am planning on stapling the bottom in better, and redoing the roof.  No problem, and it should do well, with just a touch of tlc.  Oh, and there were nesting boxes.  so... it's all a start.

Quite a lot done today.  I even helped with a bit.  My ribs didn't give way, even a bit.  They are a bit sore, but should be.  And the back just a bit.  That was going to be a given.  All good, as expected, nothing outside of the plans.  It was good to be out and getting things done.  Hopefully, tomorrow, I will do some of the mechanical repairs and some house work.  Oh, and a call.  Yes, it is time.

Out by 11:00?  Or so.  Not back until 17:30?  Give or take.  A lot of just riding, and some back and forth while stowing, storing, returning.  Still, a very long day for me.  I did feed all this morning, and watered.  Checked and refreshed their water at halftime, give or take, and then checked their water upon the final return.  It was still running, so I left it until I put the ducks up tonight, then I will pull the waterers.

I already reset the waterers I pulled in earlier, as well as refreshing the girls' water with the remnants.  I clean the waterers each time I used them.  I intended to pick more waterers up today, but they only had the small one, and just one.  Even my single housed doe needs a medium sized one.  And I would bet the minis need a medium if housed alone.  So... I'll check through the month.

All good.  Yes, the girls have been fed as well.  Though they need another treat, then a fuller mean a bit before bedtime.  I'll play games as I give the birds and else time to settle in.  A successful day.  The most done in weeks, perhaps a month?  I need to get to this more often.  Yea.  Oh... I am hoping to cull a few rabbits toward the end of the week, and learn with my neighbor.  For that effort, we will each receive a brace of coneys, probably about five pounds per.  Then I can spread the remaining rabbits out, and begin setting them to bread, with a cage each for the little ones.  And it is time to begin getting the bigger ones to breeding as well.

I may readjust the caging situation, putting the males in the smaller cages, giving the does the bigger areas, so as to nest and live more comfortably.  Though, with the bigger cages I made, I may split those.  Those really are massive, by square inch needs.  Bunnies will be on the way before long... bearing young about 33 to 34 days after conception... for the both the big and little, as to how she saw things.  Although I best make sure I have enough people interested in rabbits before going too deeply in.  A couple of big and a couple of little does, to start.

Anyway.  It was a good day.  I am sore.  My forearms hurt from pushing.  My back has a bit of a sting.  My ribs are just a bit tight.  All good.  That is how I prefer to live.  The sweat of the brow... thought a curse... but in a land of sin it is actually a blessing.  You don't have to believe me.  But that is my story and I am sticking to it.  By the sweat of the brow... as I may.  Good afternoon and day.

Trash out, recycling too, and a start on the stove.

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Well, actually, little bits here and there have been being hit or done.  Not much, some.  Very little things, bits, places, but they add up.  Not to a finished product... or home... perhaps.  But, they do lead up to a start.  It's what I can do.  I didn't realize I was doing things until I started noticing things were done, or beginning.  It's a start.

Yes, bagged.  Yes, to the bins.  Yes, the bins to the curb.  So... yes.  Is it recycling tomorrow?  I hope so.  No great loss if not.  I'll know by early afternoon.

It is later than hoped.  Still, if I do the work, I don't mind staying up later.  It's when I end up lost, at the far end of the day, or early the next morning really, and nothing was done.  That's when frustration sets in.  Not tonight.  I grilled brats.  Might have to have another before bed.  I've eaten two.  Decent keto food.  Hmm, what else could I have with it?  A can of veggies would be nice.  Nothing fancy, but it helps to fill a meal out a bit more.

A shower and chores right away.  Up as early as possible.  Perhaps a bite right away, so as to begin counters and dishes.  A trim before a shower.  An actual shave later?  Maybe.  Hmm, and a few phone calls, if people are back to work yet?  Never can tell how long who will take off.  I'll find out before long.  Oh, and I suppose I should check on my account.  All I can do this month is, maybe, catch up.  Though, perhaps, restart milk and cream supplies.  I am hoping to restart kefir later this month as well.  If so, and it works, I may have to go to two gallons a week.  The kefir grains eat the carbs out of the milk.  And, yeah, I could drink two gallons of kefir a week, being what it is.  Though some is lost in the translation, so I'd only be drinking, perhaps, an gallon and an half?  Well, it seems like it.  Between that, cream, tea, and some minor amounts of meat and veggies... I could do well on keto again.  And head to weight loss without too much fuss.

Good night.

More escapes!

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Two of the littler bucks escaped.  Not through the door, this time.  They made it into the metal manger, which is attached by bailing wire, and somehow broke through then got out.  Two of them didn't escape when they had the opportunity, strangely.  They were easy enough to police and put back in the cage.  One of them was quite huffy about it, the other seemed pleased to be back in.  I have a temporary fix in place.

Other than feeding and watering, and chasing the two youngens... or littlens really... not much else was done today.  I did a bit of grilling, having just absolutely the bare minimum of charcoal left to do the bratwursts.  More a slow cooking at that.  Hmm... I should get trash and recycling together and out, before crashing.  Yea, I really should.  And, getting to bed early, with an alarm set, seems reasonable.  A shower first thing, then chores either immediately after... or after drying a bit.

I really need to do a few things with the cages though.  Mangers on all, rewiring the existing and future mangers well, setting up a few more locks.  The bigger bucks finally chewed through the rope ties.  but I have something else in place as well.  If I would much rather have even more.  I keep looking for the potential momma to begin pulling fur, for nesting.  That will, more than anything, tell me she is about due.  Give that a day, then put in the nesting box, filled with some hay or wood chips or such.  Anything before that, and she marks it and turns it into a latrine.  Bleh.

I hear the checks, the $600 ones, may be in.  I'll have to check tomorrow.  If so, beside some payback, I would like to pick up a few more bales of hay, a few more waterers, and... actually that is it.  I want to add waterers slowly, over time.  Say five each month, for the next three months?  That gives me plenty.  Mostly larger ones.  I have no idea how much will be needed for the weened wee ones, but I'd guess, if eight to a batch, two large ones per group.  And, in warmer and colder weather, probably two of those a day.  Odd, but if they stay thawed, one does.  Leaving an extra out at night, it just freezes.  Whereas if it's colder, I have to change them out just so that they can get enough water, and in the warmer weather, they need the extra water.

Ducks are doing well.  I moved to pool to near the hydrant, which is deep enough so that freezing isn't a problem.  And, now I can just fill the pool as needed.  Being warmer, I am not tipping it at night, though that will happen yet, as weather will fluctuate.  I am almost sure I have stone duck eggs around somewhere.  You put those out, and after a few pecks, they learn not to try to eat eggs.  Which I really think they are doing.  Ugh...  They are cannibals regarding eggs, and murderous to chicks.  I'll have to figure that out.  I have enough meat ducks to allow a few to go broody, it's a matter of figuring out how to arrange that.  It's a lot of work, and some thinking, and some hoping.  

The question is whether to try to pen them, with the ducklings... or to just show some of the hens where the eggs are being hidden, so that they will tend the nest... but leave it mostly open.  Ugh...  Wait... she did that, but she had dogs and goats for protection.  Still, it's... possible.  They can't nest high, though.  And, that is only for the meat birds.  The egg birds would have to be separated... the broody hen.  But, I don't have enough hens at the moment to let one go.  Bleh.

I'll keep thinking, planning, and trying.  Live and learn.  It's a difficult process, until it isn't.  Until, again, it is.  Everything you learn well, you learn from loss... mistake.

Well, on to a bit of work, then to bed.  Good night.

Better, yet not.

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Awake, early... earlier... tired and sore even so.  I think I went to bed between 20:00 and 20:30, give or take an hour around that first number more like.  I slept well, was warm all night, and relatively comfortable.  I woke before the eight alarm, turned it off as I thought I would wake... but didn't... not until almost nine?  A quarter to, I think.  Nasal congestion headache, didn't help, and isn't.  I cleared all, doesn't matter.

Chores finished right after waking.  And the girls were given a snack.  It is dark out, which also isn't helping.  It is 22 F, so not a bad day.  If it feels a bit cooler.  Not as bad as some days, yet not as warm as 22 should feel.  Then again, it is lightly snowing... in such a way as to make one wet if out in it a bit.  That is probably the nature of the extra cold sensation.  Moisture, in the winter, is a chilling thing.

After finishing chores, I decided to check laundry.  Good thing too, I must have done a load of laundry yesterday, but forgotten about them.  There was no off smell.  The relative short forgetting time, and it being winter.  I have, in Iowa albeit, seen what can happen if laundry is left too long.  It's a horrifying thing.  It takes lots of rewashings, with bleach, and other cleaning stuff.  And some clothes just... best to toss.  One time of creating a green blob of materials will teach greater caustion.  Since, this is about the longest I have forgotten laundry.  I still get horrible flashbacks when I realized clothes are in the washer, wet, for a day.  I approach the area with caution.

I am losing days.  I thought it was Saturday still... after, on Friday, thinking it was Saturday.  Bleh.  I guess it makes sense.  So tired, still.  Even with a lot of sleep last night.  I am hoping to finish chores early, again, and be to bed by 18:00~19:00, or as close as possible.  A few days of that, and extra sleep, perhaps I can figure life out a bit better.  A task tomorrow, perhaps.  Will see.