.
.
I can only hope you can enjoy this day and celebrate in some fashion. If it is only real on paper, arbitrarily picked to some degree, it is still a second chance, a beginning, and the close of the last year. I thought to buy a bottle of champagne, nothing fancy but not cheap either. It was not to be had, I waited too late to look. I decided on a sherry. It was not my usual brand but it is a nicer one or so my wallet says.
Staying up until midnight may not be my thing. Nor, probably, will I consume the whole bottle. A few sips and I think I will be off to bed early tonight. So, cheers! And, good night.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A drive, dinner, and success.
.
.
My friend and I started out about noon. He had called ahead to our first destination and there were primers available. Up to a box of 1,000 primers could be purchased at the first store, but they only had them in small pistol and a few magnum types. My friend purchased 500 of the CCI, all they had. He skipped on buying a whole box of Remington, though I think he gets a bit confused or is merely quietly sure and cannot always hear and or respond (to me or clerks).
We decided to go to Ogden, he wanted bullets for his 9 mm and I was hoping for large rifle and large pistol. Sure enough, and unusually, they had them. The first place we stopped though, was a mess. They initially said we could buy three little boxes (100 per little box) of the various types. We both thought they meant say, CCI and Winchester large pistol or large rifle. Not so. Good thing we checked our bags before we left the parking lot. Neither of us can use large magnum pistol or rifle. We did get 9 little boxes of large rifle (somehow) and 6 little boxes of large pistol between us. It was messy, they did not want to give us what we wanted, I felt tricked, and then they were not happy about the returns. Done and out of there though.
The next place offered a single box (1,000) large rifle, if meant for bench rifles they will work for any rifle. That was all they had, so I took them. The final place only offered large pistol primers, but we could buy 2,000 of them. I bought 2,000, he bought 1,000 and some powder. It was a fine day for getting my stock somewhat closer to my goals. He was not disappointed either, coming away with brass polisher, large and small pistol primers, bullets for his 9 mm, and more powder. I should be set up to begin when I get to a place where I can develop a reloading station of a more permanent nature. I will still look, just not as hungrily, and my list has grown noticeably shorter. *cheers*
So, we went to dinner at a place called Maddox. The place I have bragged up before. This time, when the waitress came by with the check, she asked how things were. I told her what I wrote here last time, that their steaks equal the next best steak I have eaten in my career of ribeye consumption, and at about 1/3rd the price. I thought it would end there, but she went and told the owner on me. Thankfully he did not come and visit, it would have embarrassed me. But she did say that my comment made his day and he knew the town I was talking about (Ithaca, N.Y.), and perhaps the steak house as well, though she was not sure. She thanked me for the compliment and I suggested that there was no need to thank me, that they had earned the compliment. She was a very happy waitress. A good end to a good day.
I am tired though. The Xterra drives well on the sometimes snowy, icy looking at times, roads, but I worry about other drivers. On the way back there was a warning to drive in four wheel drive or use chains. I shifted down to it and drove slower. I was very surprised to see little cars which could not possibly have had four wheel drive whiz by me. No skin off my teeth, I decided to go slow and low. But driving with drivers like that on roads like that, and worse in the city, wears me out more than standard driving. Home safe and sound, as I said, I am a bit tired but elated to be in better standing regarding primers as well.
Good night.
.
My friend and I started out about noon. He had called ahead to our first destination and there were primers available. Up to a box of 1,000 primers could be purchased at the first store, but they only had them in small pistol and a few magnum types. My friend purchased 500 of the CCI, all they had. He skipped on buying a whole box of Remington, though I think he gets a bit confused or is merely quietly sure and cannot always hear and or respond (to me or clerks).
We decided to go to Ogden, he wanted bullets for his 9 mm and I was hoping for large rifle and large pistol. Sure enough, and unusually, they had them. The first place we stopped though, was a mess. They initially said we could buy three little boxes (100 per little box) of the various types. We both thought they meant say, CCI and Winchester large pistol or large rifle. Not so. Good thing we checked our bags before we left the parking lot. Neither of us can use large magnum pistol or rifle. We did get 9 little boxes of large rifle (somehow) and 6 little boxes of large pistol between us. It was messy, they did not want to give us what we wanted, I felt tricked, and then they were not happy about the returns. Done and out of there though.
The next place offered a single box (1,000) large rifle, if meant for bench rifles they will work for any rifle. That was all they had, so I took them. The final place only offered large pistol primers, but we could buy 2,000 of them. I bought 2,000, he bought 1,000 and some powder. It was a fine day for getting my stock somewhat closer to my goals. He was not disappointed either, coming away with brass polisher, large and small pistol primers, bullets for his 9 mm, and more powder. I should be set up to begin when I get to a place where I can develop a reloading station of a more permanent nature. I will still look, just not as hungrily, and my list has grown noticeably shorter. *cheers*
So, we went to dinner at a place called Maddox. The place I have bragged up before. This time, when the waitress came by with the check, she asked how things were. I told her what I wrote here last time, that their steaks equal the next best steak I have eaten in my career of ribeye consumption, and at about 1/3rd the price. I thought it would end there, but she went and told the owner on me. Thankfully he did not come and visit, it would have embarrassed me. But she did say that my comment made his day and he knew the town I was talking about (Ithaca, N.Y.), and perhaps the steak house as well, though she was not sure. She thanked me for the compliment and I suggested that there was no need to thank me, that they had earned the compliment. She was a very happy waitress. A good end to a good day.
I am tired though. The Xterra drives well on the sometimes snowy, icy looking at times, roads, but I worry about other drivers. On the way back there was a warning to drive in four wheel drive or use chains. I shifted down to it and drove slower. I was very surprised to see little cars which could not possibly have had four wheel drive whiz by me. No skin off my teeth, I decided to go slow and low. But driving with drivers like that on roads like that, and worse in the city, wears me out more than standard driving. Home safe and sound, as I said, I am a bit tired but elated to be in better standing regarding primers as well.
Good night.
A new day, a little more going on.
.
.
Sleep is good, lately. Neither too much nor too little. Timing, as usual, can be a little off and yet it has generally been a day schedule. I woke unusually early this morning, rising at about 03:00 hours almost on the dot. I have simply been tinkering in that game I enjoy so much, filling out the last bit on my newest character. When that character is completed, I will have 8 characters who have done all missions in 3 campaigns (campaigns are equivalent to games, but are connected), plus an add on which might also be called a campaign. Though the add on is shorter, it is a good deal more difficult, evening it all out.
My friend will be contacting some sources of primers today. More local sources. If they are not available, we will travel. Heck, even if they are available, we may well hit the road just to see what else we can find. He likes to get out, as do I. The summer is easier for him, this cold is a bit much these days. I think if he could find a way south, he would take it. The difficulty of moving and the proximity to family and those who know him make such a venture, at his age and in his health, a non-starter. He has seen other places, lived in California, but he is where he needs to be to finish his days, I think.
I am doing a bit better with my lady friend's visit completed. As minor as it seems, it was an epic event for me. Cleaning, purchasing, rental, tickets, luggage, cooking, and being a host used every resource and trick to get myself going I could use. I must be honest, I did not end up doing everything I had hoped, some of my plans simply did not work, and not all of my cleaning chores were completed. But it was enough. She called me this morning to talk about the luggage and some other things and to, once again, thank me. And, that does make it worth it. Imagine being well and truly alone on this planet, because of your nature and history and sex. She is in a place few but fools could envy.
However, this was a one time thing. If she wishes to come out in the future, she will not be a guest but merely a visiting friend. She will be on her own a good bit of the time. I will neither cook specifically for her nor wait on her. I will do this once for each person who visits me, their first visit. After that, they are simple guests and will need to make due on their own to some larger extent. I will, of course, provide provisions. And, when I cook, they will be welcome to my offering. My mother is probably the one exception. Not that I will be subservient on her visits, merely that we have a long time relationship and it does not fit in these systems. God sort of created that parent child thing, we just developed our own system around that, and so it is.
With the stress of the visit and Christmas over, mostly, I am finding that there is a little more going on for me. I am beginning to function better and hope to be up and running a bit better in no time. I might even begin looking for the last bit of paperwork to take in to school and see about all that stuff. I am a bit nervous about it all, but school for engineers is maddening to say the least. This spring or next fall, or to put it another way soon or late, I will be back in school if they will accept me. I want it like someone with appendicitis wants surgery. Very much so and not at all. Ha!
Well, a quick nap before my friend calls and I should be in good order. Oh, I just checked. I have gained 5 pounds over Christmas (so far). I doubt if I will gain more as I am running out of goodies. I am back to drinking regular Coke, but I have been doing that for several months. I tried to use it as a method of gaining energy and because nothing else tasted good (along with the fact I was running out of CO2 cylinders for the water, was worried about money, and was having difficulty keeping bottled water on tap as I was not able to get out as much as I had been). Diabetes must be insanely out of order, but then it always was. The medicine, as I have said, did nothing or caused drops below 60. I know, I know, fasting. But I do that from time to time simply due to the nature of my stress exhaustion. Two and three days can pass without so much as a cracker passing the palate.
Anyway... nap time. Have a great day.
.
Sleep is good, lately. Neither too much nor too little. Timing, as usual, can be a little off and yet it has generally been a day schedule. I woke unusually early this morning, rising at about 03:00 hours almost on the dot. I have simply been tinkering in that game I enjoy so much, filling out the last bit on my newest character. When that character is completed, I will have 8 characters who have done all missions in 3 campaigns (campaigns are equivalent to games, but are connected), plus an add on which might also be called a campaign. Though the add on is shorter, it is a good deal more difficult, evening it all out.
My friend will be contacting some sources of primers today. More local sources. If they are not available, we will travel. Heck, even if they are available, we may well hit the road just to see what else we can find. He likes to get out, as do I. The summer is easier for him, this cold is a bit much these days. I think if he could find a way south, he would take it. The difficulty of moving and the proximity to family and those who know him make such a venture, at his age and in his health, a non-starter. He has seen other places, lived in California, but he is where he needs to be to finish his days, I think.
I am doing a bit better with my lady friend's visit completed. As minor as it seems, it was an epic event for me. Cleaning, purchasing, rental, tickets, luggage, cooking, and being a host used every resource and trick to get myself going I could use. I must be honest, I did not end up doing everything I had hoped, some of my plans simply did not work, and not all of my cleaning chores were completed. But it was enough. She called me this morning to talk about the luggage and some other things and to, once again, thank me. And, that does make it worth it. Imagine being well and truly alone on this planet, because of your nature and history and sex. She is in a place few but fools could envy.
However, this was a one time thing. If she wishes to come out in the future, she will not be a guest but merely a visiting friend. She will be on her own a good bit of the time. I will neither cook specifically for her nor wait on her. I will do this once for each person who visits me, their first visit. After that, they are simple guests and will need to make due on their own to some larger extent. I will, of course, provide provisions. And, when I cook, they will be welcome to my offering. My mother is probably the one exception. Not that I will be subservient on her visits, merely that we have a long time relationship and it does not fit in these systems. God sort of created that parent child thing, we just developed our own system around that, and so it is.
With the stress of the visit and Christmas over, mostly, I am finding that there is a little more going on for me. I am beginning to function better and hope to be up and running a bit better in no time. I might even begin looking for the last bit of paperwork to take in to school and see about all that stuff. I am a bit nervous about it all, but school for engineers is maddening to say the least. This spring or next fall, or to put it another way soon or late, I will be back in school if they will accept me. I want it like someone with appendicitis wants surgery. Very much so and not at all. Ha!
Well, a quick nap before my friend calls and I should be in good order. Oh, I just checked. I have gained 5 pounds over Christmas (so far). I doubt if I will gain more as I am running out of goodies. I am back to drinking regular Coke, but I have been doing that for several months. I tried to use it as a method of gaining energy and because nothing else tasted good (along with the fact I was running out of CO2 cylinders for the water, was worried about money, and was having difficulty keeping bottled water on tap as I was not able to get out as much as I had been). Diabetes must be insanely out of order, but then it always was. The medicine, as I have said, did nothing or caused drops below 60. I know, I know, fasting. But I do that from time to time simply due to the nature of my stress exhaustion. Two and three days can pass without so much as a cracker passing the palate.
Anyway... nap time. Have a great day.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Skiing may be on.
.
.
I spoke with a friend of mine, and I do believe he wishes to partake in my newly found adventure. He is very interested in losing some weight. To that end he is considering going vegetarian (I will work on that, but for the moment...). I asked if he would still indulge in my twice monthly meals, as I have bone-in ribeye and a very nice roast in the queue. He did not have to think long, suggesting that it would be rude (or something) not to indulge. In any case, I think the skiing will help both of us lose some serious weight.
This weekend we will be doing a cookout, brots and fixings, cooked over an open fire somewhere in Logan Canyon, I believe. I will bring chips, sauerkraut, and soda. I took him and his roommate some of my Mom's Christmas breads and cookies and gave another friend some. It was too much for one guy to eat and I hated the thought of her hard work going to waist. It felt like being back in the Navy... when someone received a care package from home, they would split it out with their bestest buds. I also gifted them with a little money to help with a chainsaw they want (for the cookouts). I think the simple gesture really was meaningful to them. All good, all good. My first months here were quite rough financially and in most ways, I understand.
My lady friend received her luggage almost immediately. She was quite thankful, and yet will remember the losing of the luggage for a long time. Hopefully too, though, she will remember that they remedied it rather quickly and painlessly both times. The last time, somehow, it had not even been tagged and they found it and returned it that same day (they now deliver the luggage right to the front door, hotel, or where ever indicated). I hope the trip gave her some time to enjoy a little life, to imagine a better life, and to work towards it. I worry about her but I can only lead a horse to water, with ideas, the horse has to drink all on her own. I am not suggesting a relationship other than what we have, only some things she could do to not live in such a retched financial and social state.
Life is definitely good here. I need to get back on track toward more improvements in my life. Getting out skiing and cooking out will help. Maybe checking in on school to see where I fit and whether I should wait or not might be good too. Though still a bit stiff and sore, I have found that sitting around is much worse than getting busy, even if I am tired. As I said, whether I do things or not, I am tired anyway. So I might as well get out and do something, anything. This Wednesday, my shooting friend and I are going to look around for primers. I am getting low and he is pretty much out. If we cannot find them locally, we will head for Ogden and see what they have in stock. Lucky or not, we will at least be getting out and doing something.
Yes, life is good. Be well.
.
I spoke with a friend of mine, and I do believe he wishes to partake in my newly found adventure. He is very interested in losing some weight. To that end he is considering going vegetarian (I will work on that, but for the moment...). I asked if he would still indulge in my twice monthly meals, as I have bone-in ribeye and a very nice roast in the queue. He did not have to think long, suggesting that it would be rude (or something) not to indulge. In any case, I think the skiing will help both of us lose some serious weight.
This weekend we will be doing a cookout, brots and fixings, cooked over an open fire somewhere in Logan Canyon, I believe. I will bring chips, sauerkraut, and soda. I took him and his roommate some of my Mom's Christmas breads and cookies and gave another friend some. It was too much for one guy to eat and I hated the thought of her hard work going to waist. It felt like being back in the Navy... when someone received a care package from home, they would split it out with their bestest buds. I also gifted them with a little money to help with a chainsaw they want (for the cookouts). I think the simple gesture really was meaningful to them. All good, all good. My first months here were quite rough financially and in most ways, I understand.
My lady friend received her luggage almost immediately. She was quite thankful, and yet will remember the losing of the luggage for a long time. Hopefully too, though, she will remember that they remedied it rather quickly and painlessly both times. The last time, somehow, it had not even been tagged and they found it and returned it that same day (they now deliver the luggage right to the front door, hotel, or where ever indicated). I hope the trip gave her some time to enjoy a little life, to imagine a better life, and to work towards it. I worry about her but I can only lead a horse to water, with ideas, the horse has to drink all on her own. I am not suggesting a relationship other than what we have, only some things she could do to not live in such a retched financial and social state.
Life is definitely good here. I need to get back on track toward more improvements in my life. Getting out skiing and cooking out will help. Maybe checking in on school to see where I fit and whether I should wait or not might be good too. Though still a bit stiff and sore, I have found that sitting around is much worse than getting busy, even if I am tired. As I said, whether I do things or not, I am tired anyway. So I might as well get out and do something, anything. This Wednesday, my shooting friend and I are going to look around for primers. I am getting low and he is pretty much out. If we cannot find them locally, we will head for Ogden and see what they have in stock. Lucky or not, we will at least be getting out and doing something.
Yes, life is good. Be well.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Merry Christmas, if late as usual!
.
.
I had meant to post a Christmas themed something a few days before Christmas itself, however, life tended toward way to busy.
My lady friend was probably going to be visiting, I had gifts to buy, food to arrange, a vehicle and place to clean, and a few other odds and ends. I thought I had it pretty well in line. Thinking and reality sometimes diverge at the most inconvenient of moments. Some tasks which I had thought would take an hour, or even a half an hour optimally, ended up taking 3 or more. Tasks I had thought done came undone. Gifts I thought would have taken but a visit to one store... *sigh* Some gifts have yet to be located!
On the good side, I was thanked by the Queen of Darkness, for such a wonderful time. She did not thank me once, she thanked me in and throughout and even after the visit. I remembered her favorite foods and her requested foods, I took her comfort and interests to heart, I ensured she had what she needed and some of what she wanted, my gifts were appropriate and appreciated (save one, but uhrm, I came out ahead on that one and it is bound to happen). That in spite of us having vigorous disagreements about the same old things. Though I think I "expanded" her mind on these things too. She was getting upset, as she usually does, so I suggested she attempt to not take the debates personally. I have no difficulty with becoming passionate, I do that myself. But I do not need her to agree with me, nor do I care what she believes if I will not tolerate her version of intolerance without a struggle. I think she is actually thinking about my techniques of dealing with such hardy arguments. I fling and forget, give or take, there are no wounds to heal at the conclusion. She seems to get in fits. Good thing SHE does not have high blood pressure. Ha!
And more, I did successfully get her out to "cross-country" ski. I use quotation marks because our cross-country journey was more like hiking, mountain hiking at that. Our trip took us over 4 1/2 hours, but closer to 5 hours, to complete. Half of it was up a mountain, the rest was downhill skiing, neither is quite what I think of when I hear "cross-country" skiing. I swear, she really does want to see me dead. I found first a second wind, then a third, and the last quarter of the trip up the mountain I was going on faith alone. Downhill, I knew, if I could survive it, would be much quicker, a good deal easier, and much more dangerous regarding broken limbs, body, and such.
I did amazingly well as inactive as I have been since my friend is not so interested in getting out in the winter weather. I would guess we did about 4 or 5 miles up and in, and then back that same amount. Quite an amazing deed, for my condition. I fell less than she did. I fell about 7 times. The last one was fancy though. It was on one of the steepest of the downhill sections and near the end of the downhill part. I meant to do it because I was pretty sure I could not make the slight curve of the path ahead and did not wish to go off the path into a tree or rock. I hit very hard, at about 20 miles per hour if I had to guess. I landed on my side as I had intended, bounced into the air several times, and rolled while bouncing so that my skis did what I call helicopters. Meh, I was built well. I am, so far, only muscle sore in the legs from the exhertion, no bruises and the elbow I thought might just be tenderized is quite fine instead. The fall(s) did not damage my corporeal goods.
I really was correct about my bear like nature. I did not wear a hat or other ear coverings. The weather was sunny (and actually shining for the top 1/3 of the run) but below freezing. No frostbite. I think I will do more skiing, now that I know where to rent (and only about $12 for a day), where to go to ski, and have learned a bit, once I recover a bit that is. I will not go quite so far though. I would like to practice that bottom third, where the steepest run is. Both for getting up it and for learning to do the downhill part. I figure, if I do that section, if I am tired I can go home, have lunch, and maybe hit it later. If I am not tiring, I can hit it two or three times. I get the most demanding section right there near the bottom. Plus, if I really break something, I have an easier time getting help from other skiers and from medical. Though too, my pride will often be bruised more than anything else.
No camera went with, quite by memory failure. It turns out that was a good thing. The camera would most likely be no more. As I learn, and become sure of myself, I will bring it along at some point. I know, promises promises. And, true, it may end up being broken, but understand that it is in my list, just like the skiing. We will see. I have asked one of my newer friends if he would like to go. It would be good to have someone to go with from time to time. Though, as I have learned in the past, it is best not to rely on friends.
Nothing religious this Christmas, other than loving people who do not necessarily love me. She really does detest me, you know. She does not understand that I am offering her a chance to love someone between her neighbor and her enemy. If she can see her way to it, she has more of a chance at life. I, too, get the idea that my former neighbor really does not like me at times. He was from a rough crew, he was always trouble I think, and he does not understand or appreciate my lawful, religious, respectful nature. If he likes me, he likes me situationally, partially, something. But inside, too, I sense a deep scorn or resentment. He does not like rules, much like my lady friend. Never mind, that is not the point.
I do, sometimes, feel quite alone. No, not lonely, though from time to time there is that. Simply, I feel as if there is no one on the same page. Conservatives who hate cops (I understand some skepticism, but damn it, not hate), or Christians who believe the Church (the fundamental guidance, not necessarily one particular priest/preacher/minister or congregation) is a bit dated or not really a factor in their lives, and such are supposed to be mine so are very frustrating. Liberals do not really get me upset, I understand they are completely blind. It is rare to find someone with a simple honest view of the world and themselves in it. Most seem to want to do only what they wish to do, and often that is to make themselves feel good, never mind the rules, laws, traditions, or such. I believe in these things, these rules and such, so long as they are just and right and follow God's wishes. I understand too, that as broken as I am, I can still lead. As such, I choose to lead in the right direction as far as I am able. If I am leading an army or just myself, it is a lonely place.
Well, it was a good Christmas. A familiar face, a few gifts out the door and in, and a new sport started. I hope your Christmas was something you can enjoy for the year and which will make up for all the advertisements in poor taste, silly songs, and "ho, ho, ho"'s you have had to endure. I suppose I am a bit of a grinch, that way, but are you not? :p Yes, a little family if only on the phone, some familiar faces, a few gifts, and just maybe a good bit of thought about what Christmas really is, the beginning of the potential of heaven on earth and, truly, good will to all mankind. And further, a little look at what heaven might look like, if all goes relatively smoothly. Merry (late) Christmas. And, a Happy (early) New Year!
.
I had meant to post a Christmas themed something a few days before Christmas itself, however, life tended toward way to busy.
My lady friend was probably going to be visiting, I had gifts to buy, food to arrange, a vehicle and place to clean, and a few other odds and ends. I thought I had it pretty well in line. Thinking and reality sometimes diverge at the most inconvenient of moments. Some tasks which I had thought would take an hour, or even a half an hour optimally, ended up taking 3 or more. Tasks I had thought done came undone. Gifts I thought would have taken but a visit to one store... *sigh* Some gifts have yet to be located!
On the good side, I was thanked by the Queen of Darkness, for such a wonderful time. She did not thank me once, she thanked me in and throughout and even after the visit. I remembered her favorite foods and her requested foods, I took her comfort and interests to heart, I ensured she had what she needed and some of what she wanted, my gifts were appropriate and appreciated (save one, but uhrm, I came out ahead on that one and it is bound to happen). That in spite of us having vigorous disagreements about the same old things. Though I think I "expanded" her mind on these things too. She was getting upset, as she usually does, so I suggested she attempt to not take the debates personally. I have no difficulty with becoming passionate, I do that myself. But I do not need her to agree with me, nor do I care what she believes if I will not tolerate her version of intolerance without a struggle. I think she is actually thinking about my techniques of dealing with such hardy arguments. I fling and forget, give or take, there are no wounds to heal at the conclusion. She seems to get in fits. Good thing SHE does not have high blood pressure. Ha!
And more, I did successfully get her out to "cross-country" ski. I use quotation marks because our cross-country journey was more like hiking, mountain hiking at that. Our trip took us over 4 1/2 hours, but closer to 5 hours, to complete. Half of it was up a mountain, the rest was downhill skiing, neither is quite what I think of when I hear "cross-country" skiing. I swear, she really does want to see me dead. I found first a second wind, then a third, and the last quarter of the trip up the mountain I was going on faith alone. Downhill, I knew, if I could survive it, would be much quicker, a good deal easier, and much more dangerous regarding broken limbs, body, and such.
I did amazingly well as inactive as I have been since my friend is not so interested in getting out in the winter weather. I would guess we did about 4 or 5 miles up and in, and then back that same amount. Quite an amazing deed, for my condition. I fell less than she did. I fell about 7 times. The last one was fancy though. It was on one of the steepest of the downhill sections and near the end of the downhill part. I meant to do it because I was pretty sure I could not make the slight curve of the path ahead and did not wish to go off the path into a tree or rock. I hit very hard, at about 20 miles per hour if I had to guess. I landed on my side as I had intended, bounced into the air several times, and rolled while bouncing so that my skis did what I call helicopters. Meh, I was built well. I am, so far, only muscle sore in the legs from the exhertion, no bruises and the elbow I thought might just be tenderized is quite fine instead. The fall(s) did not damage my corporeal goods.
I really was correct about my bear like nature. I did not wear a hat or other ear coverings. The weather was sunny (and actually shining for the top 1/3 of the run) but below freezing. No frostbite. I think I will do more skiing, now that I know where to rent (and only about $12 for a day), where to go to ski, and have learned a bit, once I recover a bit that is. I will not go quite so far though. I would like to practice that bottom third, where the steepest run is. Both for getting up it and for learning to do the downhill part. I figure, if I do that section, if I am tired I can go home, have lunch, and maybe hit it later. If I am not tiring, I can hit it two or three times. I get the most demanding section right there near the bottom. Plus, if I really break something, I have an easier time getting help from other skiers and from medical. Though too, my pride will often be bruised more than anything else.
No camera went with, quite by memory failure. It turns out that was a good thing. The camera would most likely be no more. As I learn, and become sure of myself, I will bring it along at some point. I know, promises promises. And, true, it may end up being broken, but understand that it is in my list, just like the skiing. We will see. I have asked one of my newer friends if he would like to go. It would be good to have someone to go with from time to time. Though, as I have learned in the past, it is best not to rely on friends.
Nothing religious this Christmas, other than loving people who do not necessarily love me. She really does detest me, you know. She does not understand that I am offering her a chance to love someone between her neighbor and her enemy. If she can see her way to it, she has more of a chance at life. I, too, get the idea that my former neighbor really does not like me at times. He was from a rough crew, he was always trouble I think, and he does not understand or appreciate my lawful, religious, respectful nature. If he likes me, he likes me situationally, partially, something. But inside, too, I sense a deep scorn or resentment. He does not like rules, much like my lady friend. Never mind, that is not the point.
I do, sometimes, feel quite alone. No, not lonely, though from time to time there is that. Simply, I feel as if there is no one on the same page. Conservatives who hate cops (I understand some skepticism, but damn it, not hate), or Christians who believe the Church (the fundamental guidance, not necessarily one particular priest/preacher/minister or congregation) is a bit dated or not really a factor in their lives, and such are supposed to be mine so are very frustrating. Liberals do not really get me upset, I understand they are completely blind. It is rare to find someone with a simple honest view of the world and themselves in it. Most seem to want to do only what they wish to do, and often that is to make themselves feel good, never mind the rules, laws, traditions, or such. I believe in these things, these rules and such, so long as they are just and right and follow God's wishes. I understand too, that as broken as I am, I can still lead. As such, I choose to lead in the right direction as far as I am able. If I am leading an army or just myself, it is a lonely place.
Well, it was a good Christmas. A familiar face, a few gifts out the door and in, and a new sport started. I hope your Christmas was something you can enjoy for the year and which will make up for all the advertisements in poor taste, silly songs, and "ho, ho, ho"'s you have had to endure. I suppose I am a bit of a grinch, that way, but are you not? :p Yes, a little family if only on the phone, some familiar faces, a few gifts, and just maybe a good bit of thought about what Christmas really is, the beginning of the potential of heaven on earth and, truly, good will to all mankind. And further, a little look at what heaven might look like, if all goes relatively smoothly. Merry (late) Christmas. And, a Happy (early) New Year!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
How can time slip by so slowly so quickly?
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I hate when I am both holding my breath and pushing forward, but it happens. These times are so odd in that time teams to be barely creeping forward at a rocket's pace. Uhrm, yes, that about covers it. Yeah, no I do not understand it.
Less than a week and my lady friend, unless she cancels, will be here. There are odds and ends to do if nothing large. I must remember to get the trash and recycling out next week the day before she arrives. I forgot this week. Then again, it is winter, anything I put in it will freeze so there is no smell. As well, neither would be more than 2/3rds full even if I pack in a bit more. I use little so throw away little. There are a few details I need to tend, one timed to earlier in the day she arrives but most just odds and ends to be done or not. A quick once around general clean on the day before she is set to arrive should see me in good stead, if I wanted to stop there.
I received a call yesterday from my newer former neighbor. He and his friend were set to go into the canyon to cook brats and asked if I would like to go. I agreed, asked what I might bring, and was told he would call at noon. He did not call at noon, so... I am sure he will let me know what happened sometime. I, for my sake, am not worried. If he does it three times in easy memory, I just do not agree to his ideas. I will still invite him over, I just will not accept invitations. Life is really easy, very easy, if one does not generate emotional attachments to everything and lives simply.
Well, enough about me. Since I do not know about you, how about we close with a prayer? For you of course, silly people! :P
Have a great day.
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I hate when I am both holding my breath and pushing forward, but it happens. These times are so odd in that time teams to be barely creeping forward at a rocket's pace. Uhrm, yes, that about covers it. Yeah, no I do not understand it.
Less than a week and my lady friend, unless she cancels, will be here. There are odds and ends to do if nothing large. I must remember to get the trash and recycling out next week the day before she arrives. I forgot this week. Then again, it is winter, anything I put in it will freeze so there is no smell. As well, neither would be more than 2/3rds full even if I pack in a bit more. I use little so throw away little. There are a few details I need to tend, one timed to earlier in the day she arrives but most just odds and ends to be done or not. A quick once around general clean on the day before she is set to arrive should see me in good stead, if I wanted to stop there.
I received a call yesterday from my newer former neighbor. He and his friend were set to go into the canyon to cook brats and asked if I would like to go. I agreed, asked what I might bring, and was told he would call at noon. He did not call at noon, so... I am sure he will let me know what happened sometime. I, for my sake, am not worried. If he does it three times in easy memory, I just do not agree to his ideas. I will still invite him over, I just will not accept invitations. Life is really easy, very easy, if one does not generate emotional attachments to everything and lives simply.
Well, enough about me. Since I do not know about you, how about we close with a prayer? For you of course, silly people! :P
Have a great day.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Living on the edge.
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I am staying busy even when there is little to do. I may actually be pushing some things a bit. Physical activity, however, is down. Getting out and doing much is limited by a foot of snow on the ground and having no one around to go out into it. Though today we went shooting. The thermometers said 36 as a high, but it felt more like 40 or 50 to me. With little snow melt, though, I suspect the thermometers were correct. I need to find friends who do go out in the cold and know what to do. I am geared for it, should I find an opening.
I have about 5 days until my lady friend arrives. Things are mostly in order. I am still looking for my mother's Christmas present. It is a frustrating search, oddly. I visited the local (or one of them, there may be others) butcher shop today. It actually has two sides, a Mexican side where only one of the people there spoke English, and and English speaking side. It appears to be the same store, with two different shops attached to one main butcher area. Weird, but so some things go. We accidentally went into the Mexican side, as my friend thought that is where we were supposed to go. He had not been there for years, everything had changed. The American "store" section of the place did not exist when he was last there. Though I will do most of my shopping in the American section, the Mexican section had certain cuts for ribs (oddly often referred to as English cut) which the American section did not so I will probably do some shopping in the Mexican section.
What have I been doing? Gaming. I do with 8 different characters in a day what some people cannot do with one character. It is an online multi-player game. WoW was ok, but brutal and as friendly as a knife in the back. This game is a little more for casual, or more casual, players. It can get as technical as you like but everything does not require technical play. Yes, I know, children's games. Yet, I do not think children could honestly play this game well. Certainly they could not master 8 types of different playing. It does keep me busy, keep me awake, make my mind, memory, and logic work (you have to figure things out when your typical way does not work). Oh well, it is something. If too, it is addictive. I have a few goals and then I will back down play again.
That is life in a nutshell. A few more things to plan for Christmas, a little more cleaning, sorting, and storing, perhaps a little greenery for the place and season, and then I am set. As is, I am mostly coasting until my friend arrives.
Have a great day!
.
I am staying busy even when there is little to do. I may actually be pushing some things a bit. Physical activity, however, is down. Getting out and doing much is limited by a foot of snow on the ground and having no one around to go out into it. Though today we went shooting. The thermometers said 36 as a high, but it felt more like 40 or 50 to me. With little snow melt, though, I suspect the thermometers were correct. I need to find friends who do go out in the cold and know what to do. I am geared for it, should I find an opening.
I have about 5 days until my lady friend arrives. Things are mostly in order. I am still looking for my mother's Christmas present. It is a frustrating search, oddly. I visited the local (or one of them, there may be others) butcher shop today. It actually has two sides, a Mexican side where only one of the people there spoke English, and and English speaking side. It appears to be the same store, with two different shops attached to one main butcher area. Weird, but so some things go. We accidentally went into the Mexican side, as my friend thought that is where we were supposed to go. He had not been there for years, everything had changed. The American "store" section of the place did not exist when he was last there. Though I will do most of my shopping in the American section, the Mexican section had certain cuts for ribs (oddly often referred to as English cut) which the American section did not so I will probably do some shopping in the Mexican section.
What have I been doing? Gaming. I do with 8 different characters in a day what some people cannot do with one character. It is an online multi-player game. WoW was ok, but brutal and as friendly as a knife in the back. This game is a little more for casual, or more casual, players. It can get as technical as you like but everything does not require technical play. Yes, I know, children's games. Yet, I do not think children could honestly play this game well. Certainly they could not master 8 types of different playing. It does keep me busy, keep me awake, make my mind, memory, and logic work (you have to figure things out when your typical way does not work). Oh well, it is something. If too, it is addictive. I have a few goals and then I will back down play again.
That is life in a nutshell. A few more things to plan for Christmas, a little more cleaning, sorting, and storing, perhaps a little greenery for the place and season, and then I am set. As is, I am mostly coasting until my friend arrives.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Cleaning, today, I think.
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Today is not a fantastic day. I cannot seem to get it all working again. And yet, I never simply stop working. I will clean the bathrooms today, down to the shine. Then I will be very careful in their use and upkeep so only a small amount of work will be needed when my friend visits. If that goes swiftly and well, and it might, I will then begin working out what goes to storage and doing a bit of laundry from the old place. While I am at it, I will probably make something tasty for dinner, tasty but simple. Pasta and hamburger, a few side items, some spice, and a little imagination go a long way. As well, I suppose it is time to shovel. Either today or tomorrow. Then again, it is forecast to be in the 40's all week, so procrastination may be my friend.
Days and nights are still not straightened out. I suppose with me, there is a 50% chance of sleep in any forecast at any time of the day. Still, I get up when I can and I work as I may. I am learning to do a great deal more. I think the climate, altitude, mountains, and being nearly in my own house have lead me to do more. Actually owning my own house will expand that a great deal. There are things in this house which give me ideas, like a fully tiled shower area, little details about the place, and the sense that with a little work and money, one can turn a house into a very nice home, without being flashy or silly too.
Three Christmas presents have been purchased. Only one remains, though I will send a little money along with that one too. One gift will wait until the person it is for may choose it, or something else she likes. Since she just bought a canoe, and she likes the better gear, I have a catalog with some items she may choose from. It's good gear and it's spiffy.
The things causing me to drag, at this point, are school, house, getting my banking switched over, and getting this place in order for my visitor. There always seems to be more on my plate than I can really do, and much of it is out of my hands. But that is as it is. Pushing does not seem to help, either them or me. Life could be good here, or I should say, it could be even better. I am seeing my way to that.
Just yesterday my former neighbor and myself were out doing a bit of shopping. We met another shooter who just moved here from southern Utah. We talked guns and life for a good hour, right there in Walmart! Should have gone for coffee, but why? Anyway, I took his number. I think we might end up with a small shooter's club. Hunters, shooters, and reloaders weclome, to be sure. Of course, we are all of the liberal bent. Ha! Any guy who buys a gun for his girlfriend, and she likes it, is good in my book. So, I am beginning to network. Oh, and I told my former neighbor this too, if this new guy has a gal, she will know other women. Odd the way that works. And, if they come for a meal some time, and his gal sees poor lonely guys, she might just figure things out. Women are like that, sometimes. Anyway, it is a thought. Capitalism, for me, does not stop at the store or bank!
Well, that is that for now. Stay warm and safe.
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Today is not a fantastic day. I cannot seem to get it all working again. And yet, I never simply stop working. I will clean the bathrooms today, down to the shine. Then I will be very careful in their use and upkeep so only a small amount of work will be needed when my friend visits. If that goes swiftly and well, and it might, I will then begin working out what goes to storage and doing a bit of laundry from the old place. While I am at it, I will probably make something tasty for dinner, tasty but simple. Pasta and hamburger, a few side items, some spice, and a little imagination go a long way. As well, I suppose it is time to shovel. Either today or tomorrow. Then again, it is forecast to be in the 40's all week, so procrastination may be my friend.
Days and nights are still not straightened out. I suppose with me, there is a 50% chance of sleep in any forecast at any time of the day. Still, I get up when I can and I work as I may. I am learning to do a great deal more. I think the climate, altitude, mountains, and being nearly in my own house have lead me to do more. Actually owning my own house will expand that a great deal. There are things in this house which give me ideas, like a fully tiled shower area, little details about the place, and the sense that with a little work and money, one can turn a house into a very nice home, without being flashy or silly too.
Three Christmas presents have been purchased. Only one remains, though I will send a little money along with that one too. One gift will wait until the person it is for may choose it, or something else she likes. Since she just bought a canoe, and she likes the better gear, I have a catalog with some items she may choose from. It's good gear and it's spiffy.
The things causing me to drag, at this point, are school, house, getting my banking switched over, and getting this place in order for my visitor. There always seems to be more on my plate than I can really do, and much of it is out of my hands. But that is as it is. Pushing does not seem to help, either them or me. Life could be good here, or I should say, it could be even better. I am seeing my way to that.
Just yesterday my former neighbor and myself were out doing a bit of shopping. We met another shooter who just moved here from southern Utah. We talked guns and life for a good hour, right there in Walmart! Should have gone for coffee, but why? Anyway, I took his number. I think we might end up with a small shooter's club. Hunters, shooters, and reloaders weclome, to be sure. Of course, we are all of the liberal bent. Ha! Any guy who buys a gun for his girlfriend, and she likes it, is good in my book. So, I am beginning to network. Oh, and I told my former neighbor this too, if this new guy has a gal, she will know other women. Odd the way that works. And, if they come for a meal some time, and his gal sees poor lonely guys, she might just figure things out. Women are like that, sometimes. Anyway, it is a thought. Capitalism, for me, does not stop at the store or bank!
Well, that is that for now. Stay warm and safe.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Up too late.
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Yes, I am just now considering going to bed. I did sleep some last night. Not much, I do what I can. I would like to place a few calls this morning. My Mom needs a call and I would like to find out if cross country skis and whatever other equipment needed is available to rent. If I do those things, and pay a few bills, I will be satisfied today. It is not much but it could keep me sane, or happy, or whatever.
Oh, and writing a bit on the blog. I still have too many unsorted things and only time will sort some of them. Too many nagging little chores, loose ends, and untidy business yet to be sorted. If they were things I could do myself and be done with, they would be done. As is, all I can do is call or write and... wait. Arghhhhh! Lucy keeps moving the ball, too.
Well, have a great day!
Update: All completed. As completed as I can do things. The bills are paid, ski equipment rental has been found and a system set in play regarding that, and I have tried to call my Mom several times (starting last evening, actually). I am now considering trying to stay awake through the day to kick start a schedule modification. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. If I can pull if off, it is worth the effort just for the efforts own sake. Or I like to think that.
.
Yes, I am just now considering going to bed. I did sleep some last night. Not much, I do what I can. I would like to place a few calls this morning. My Mom needs a call and I would like to find out if cross country skis and whatever other equipment needed is available to rent. If I do those things, and pay a few bills, I will be satisfied today. It is not much but it could keep me sane, or happy, or whatever.
Oh, and writing a bit on the blog. I still have too many unsorted things and only time will sort some of them. Too many nagging little chores, loose ends, and untidy business yet to be sorted. If they were things I could do myself and be done with, they would be done. As is, all I can do is call or write and... wait. Arghhhhh! Lucy keeps moving the ball, too.
Well, have a great day!
Update: All completed. As completed as I can do things. The bills are paid, ski equipment rental has been found and a system set in play regarding that, and I have tried to call my Mom several times (starting last evening, actually). I am now considering trying to stay awake through the day to kick start a schedule modification. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. If I can pull if off, it is worth the effort just for the efforts own sake. Or I like to think that.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Plans and more plans.
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Whoever thought my cooking ideas might actually begin taking off. I doubt if I will ever quite be the food host of hosts, but to be thought of as a resource and occasional dining spot is good enough. Next is roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, and perhaps a pie of some sort. I will have to see if I can get everyone to agree to one type of pie or consider making two types. After that, I think I would like to do a breakfast. Whether it is eaten in the morning is not important. I occasionally enjoy bacon, egg, toast, and perhaps sausage and corned beef hash out of it's usual time slot, having it for dinner. And I do not think I am alone.
This week I need to check about ski rentals, perhaps a Christmas tree (which she and I might figure out how to decorate more simply as a holiday event), and I do have several other pieces of business to attend. I really need to get off my bottom and get back to work. Oh, I need to see why my checks are not arriving at my new bank. That is irritating, especially when the agencies involved know my new address through my change of direct deposit slips now. Slow is one thing, this is sloth, but on their part.
I truly enjoy having an actual house in which to live. There is no one around to help in the case of trouble, but then anyone who shows up here is trouble and can be dealt with. The people whom own the place, through some contact locally, sent me some jam or jelly they made from fresh fruit on their property in Hawaii. I am saving that to share over Christmas. It was quite nice. I think it humorous, being that they are atheists. But Confucius covers that notion well too. Still, I must grin. It may have to do with me, when I realized their mail was really coming here and I had missed tending it, that I sent what they had (minus fliers and other junk) 1-day. A pricey option to Hawaii. Still, I felt duty bound. Then again, it may be just who they are. They really seem like pleasant people.
Pretty bland writing and material, but it takes a bit for the flow to come back. Still spotty, but I will try to write more. I am nearing a thousand posts in 3 years, that is nearly a post a day, averaged out. And few of them are word, or even paragraph, shy, either. Although, I doubt if half of them have been read widely, and for good reason. Though some of you seem to appreciate from time to time:)
Be well. I hope your Christmas plans are pulling together and you at least find a place to share even if you have to pull a couple of low down out-of-staters in via bribes and tickets. :p
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Whoever thought my cooking ideas might actually begin taking off. I doubt if I will ever quite be the food host of hosts, but to be thought of as a resource and occasional dining spot is good enough. Next is roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, and perhaps a pie of some sort. I will have to see if I can get everyone to agree to one type of pie or consider making two types. After that, I think I would like to do a breakfast. Whether it is eaten in the morning is not important. I occasionally enjoy bacon, egg, toast, and perhaps sausage and corned beef hash out of it's usual time slot, having it for dinner. And I do not think I am alone.
This week I need to check about ski rentals, perhaps a Christmas tree (which she and I might figure out how to decorate more simply as a holiday event), and I do have several other pieces of business to attend. I really need to get off my bottom and get back to work. Oh, I need to see why my checks are not arriving at my new bank. That is irritating, especially when the agencies involved know my new address through my change of direct deposit slips now. Slow is one thing, this is sloth, but on their part.
I truly enjoy having an actual house in which to live. There is no one around to help in the case of trouble, but then anyone who shows up here is trouble and can be dealt with. The people whom own the place, through some contact locally, sent me some jam or jelly they made from fresh fruit on their property in Hawaii. I am saving that to share over Christmas. It was quite nice. I think it humorous, being that they are atheists. But Confucius covers that notion well too. Still, I must grin. It may have to do with me, when I realized their mail was really coming here and I had missed tending it, that I sent what they had (minus fliers and other junk) 1-day. A pricey option to Hawaii. Still, I felt duty bound. Then again, it may be just who they are. They really seem like pleasant people.
Pretty bland writing and material, but it takes a bit for the flow to come back. Still spotty, but I will try to write more. I am nearing a thousand posts in 3 years, that is nearly a post a day, averaged out. And few of them are word, or even paragraph, shy, either. Although, I doubt if half of them have been read widely, and for good reason. Though some of you seem to appreciate from time to time:)
Be well. I hope your Christmas plans are pulling together and you at least find a place to share even if you have to pull a couple of low down out-of-staters in via bribes and tickets. :p
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Chili went well.
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I finally got it all together, planning worked, and everyone got over the jitters of joining for a meal. We are a land of individualists, and at my age, this is more prevalent than ever. No one was sure of anyone else, and as I said, I did not care. The group actually did well. Everyone seemed to get along, and in private conversations it seems that my observations were correct. As well, people liked the chili. I went very basic, made sure I salted the beans enough, and used traditional spices though adding cayenne for a little extra throat-bite. I usually do not even add chili powder. This time I went with it. I usually do not have a problem with gas either. This time I did. I think chili powder is the culprit.
I consider it a major success. So, I would like to begin doing this more regularly. Next time I think roast beef is on the menu, though I would like to figure out how to do gravy. I had worked on it a bit with enchiladas, but have forgotten. A call to my Mom should fix that quickly. Oh, and I finished cleaning up by the next day!
I am not doing much else, spending too much time gaming. And my nights and days are just a few hours off, sleeping into the early afternoons again. Little else is going on, my former neighbor is not hot on winter weather. I would go and do but doing things alone is more of a chore than anything. If the weather is not too retched, the new guys I invited over go into the canyon and camp and cook out. So, that may be something to do in time. Perhaps even hiking a bit with the younger one. We could leave the two older gents in camp while we youngers go seek trouble on foot.
I did some cleaning beyond what was called for, in order to prepare for the guests. It was a trial run for when my lady friend visits. It sounds as if she is fully planning on visiting. To that end, I need to do a bit more cleaning and pack some things over to storage as well. I am seriously considering buying a Christmas tree, though that is a lot of work and expense, then there is the decorating, maintaining, and disposal issues. I am rather limited at this point, but I will see what I will see. It will be nice to see her again and to show off Utah to my first guest from back home. Oh, I best get to calling ski rental shops as well, and pre-arranging rentals if snow remains. That and finding paths to ski. She has asked for that, cross country skiing.
I am maintaining the house to a degree. Better than my usual, less than what some might consider optimal, yet good enough I think. Bit by bit I am creating systems of doing things. One does not simply move into a house and there you go. From trash and recycling (which I will do here as it is both reasonable and worthwhile for several reasons), to figuring out where pots, pans, dishes, and such go and then remembering for use, to simply keeping the physical aspects functional such as replacing bulbs (and having a few on hand) to whatever. But I like the practice.
If I do end up finding a place, my mother will visit in the summer and will help me settle. She is quite good at these things. My lady friend might also pitch in. I would guess my new friends might help with some lifting and moving as they are able. I am becoming more social and active, even if I do not think it is doing much. It is far more than in Iowa. I have only spent a few days/weeks down at a time ever. Even then, I am not sleeping as much. It is sunnier here though, but that is not all of it. I do like this place. Oh, and the snow is simply wonderful! Even if we get three feet, that three feet of snow weighs less than a few inches of Iowa snow. Powder, my friends, powder. Though driving over it does the same thing here as it did in Iowa, compacts it into ice. :p
One last thing, I am seriously considering putting off school until fall semester. With having to move in spring, the plan of buying a house soon, and just getting my feet wet here, it may simply be too much to push school in there as well. I know, I know, but that is how I am seeing it. I would like to be a bit more solidly settled here before I begin taking on such a big bite. Now, true, all of the engineering school I have seen so far is the stuff they use to eliminate students. I am not sure, even so, that any of the rest of it is any easier. People have said yes, but that may just be because they became used to that kind of pace and brutality. Perhaps they are correct. I simply do not trust engineering school, at all, at this point. Even the first few years of work might well be just as bad. That is where you will actually be trained.
Just an update. I will try to do more of these, a little more often. Have a great day!
.
I finally got it all together, planning worked, and everyone got over the jitters of joining for a meal. We are a land of individualists, and at my age, this is more prevalent than ever. No one was sure of anyone else, and as I said, I did not care. The group actually did well. Everyone seemed to get along, and in private conversations it seems that my observations were correct. As well, people liked the chili. I went very basic, made sure I salted the beans enough, and used traditional spices though adding cayenne for a little extra throat-bite. I usually do not even add chili powder. This time I went with it. I usually do not have a problem with gas either. This time I did. I think chili powder is the culprit.
I consider it a major success. So, I would like to begin doing this more regularly. Next time I think roast beef is on the menu, though I would like to figure out how to do gravy. I had worked on it a bit with enchiladas, but have forgotten. A call to my Mom should fix that quickly. Oh, and I finished cleaning up by the next day!
I am not doing much else, spending too much time gaming. And my nights and days are just a few hours off, sleeping into the early afternoons again. Little else is going on, my former neighbor is not hot on winter weather. I would go and do but doing things alone is more of a chore than anything. If the weather is not too retched, the new guys I invited over go into the canyon and camp and cook out. So, that may be something to do in time. Perhaps even hiking a bit with the younger one. We could leave the two older gents in camp while we youngers go seek trouble on foot.
I did some cleaning beyond what was called for, in order to prepare for the guests. It was a trial run for when my lady friend visits. It sounds as if she is fully planning on visiting. To that end, I need to do a bit more cleaning and pack some things over to storage as well. I am seriously considering buying a Christmas tree, though that is a lot of work and expense, then there is the decorating, maintaining, and disposal issues. I am rather limited at this point, but I will see what I will see. It will be nice to see her again and to show off Utah to my first guest from back home. Oh, I best get to calling ski rental shops as well, and pre-arranging rentals if snow remains. That and finding paths to ski. She has asked for that, cross country skiing.
I am maintaining the house to a degree. Better than my usual, less than what some might consider optimal, yet good enough I think. Bit by bit I am creating systems of doing things. One does not simply move into a house and there you go. From trash and recycling (which I will do here as it is both reasonable and worthwhile for several reasons), to figuring out where pots, pans, dishes, and such go and then remembering for use, to simply keeping the physical aspects functional such as replacing bulbs (and having a few on hand) to whatever. But I like the practice.
If I do end up finding a place, my mother will visit in the summer and will help me settle. She is quite good at these things. My lady friend might also pitch in. I would guess my new friends might help with some lifting and moving as they are able. I am becoming more social and active, even if I do not think it is doing much. It is far more than in Iowa. I have only spent a few days/weeks down at a time ever. Even then, I am not sleeping as much. It is sunnier here though, but that is not all of it. I do like this place. Oh, and the snow is simply wonderful! Even if we get three feet, that three feet of snow weighs less than a few inches of Iowa snow. Powder, my friends, powder. Though driving over it does the same thing here as it did in Iowa, compacts it into ice. :p
One last thing, I am seriously considering putting off school until fall semester. With having to move in spring, the plan of buying a house soon, and just getting my feet wet here, it may simply be too much to push school in there as well. I know, I know, but that is how I am seeing it. I would like to be a bit more solidly settled here before I begin taking on such a big bite. Now, true, all of the engineering school I have seen so far is the stuff they use to eliminate students. I am not sure, even so, that any of the rest of it is any easier. People have said yes, but that may just be because they became used to that kind of pace and brutality. Perhaps they are correct. I simply do not trust engineering school, at all, at this point. Even the first few years of work might well be just as bad. That is where you will actually be trained.
Just an update. I will try to do more of these, a little more often. Have a great day!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Up and going.
.
.
My sleep, as usual, has been a bit off. I have been struggling to keep days and nights correct, and doing fairly well all in all. But I was beginning to lose that battle. I think the fighting has tipped in my favor again. Stress, or certain stresses, really mess up my programming. When I have too many things that are messy on my plate, some parts just shut down. I think the biggest mess was the apartment. The remnants of that are the next, and school. But those are relatively easy.
I am still recovering from moving, to be honest, so not a lot will probably get done today. I may try to find beans for chili, and perhaps spices and such. I have asked a couple of people for a chili meal soon. They both drink beer and shoot. One is going for his doctorate and one is retired. They are both picky, so might not like each other, and I do not care. It is about food and some social mixing. Now to get a few women to visit. That would probably shut them both up. I do not even think women looking for love would be necessary. As grumbly as we men can be, a lady or two around settles some things sometimes. I will work on that. Who knows anyway, single women who are not looking for love are sometimes the perfect women to be around to find what is not sought. Tricky that way, yes they are! Rabbits, I say, with teeth like ^^^^ this!
I have gotten back into gaming a bit. Guild Wars is the thing. Not that many would understand, but I have seven mains, 5 or 6 of them through all campaigns and able to hench and hero through most quests, missions, and caps hard mode if I want or need. There are still things in the game too technical for me, believe it or else. I have 3 characters who I could suit up for just about anything but it is not fun to have to run a perfect game. I do not wish to work (too hard) at a game. I have nearly as much money, in game, as a character can have, all the max weapons for each attribute per character, several sets of armor apiece at least, etc. I wonder how much the game would be worth. Might be a small fortune or might be nothing these days. I know one kid, back when, who sold a game account for enough to get him through college (state college, but still... an engineering prospect back in Iowa City).
Oh, I have been praying a bit more regularly as well. Oddly, with this shut down, all communication ability seemed to shut down. I personally did not shut down and kept going if slower than I would have liked. That was a weird one. I do not think that is as bad as a total shutdown, if it has it's own frustrations.
Well, back to doing little. :P Have a great day.
.
My sleep, as usual, has been a bit off. I have been struggling to keep days and nights correct, and doing fairly well all in all. But I was beginning to lose that battle. I think the fighting has tipped in my favor again. Stress, or certain stresses, really mess up my programming. When I have too many things that are messy on my plate, some parts just shut down. I think the biggest mess was the apartment. The remnants of that are the next, and school. But those are relatively easy.
I am still recovering from moving, to be honest, so not a lot will probably get done today. I may try to find beans for chili, and perhaps spices and such. I have asked a couple of people for a chili meal soon. They both drink beer and shoot. One is going for his doctorate and one is retired. They are both picky, so might not like each other, and I do not care. It is about food and some social mixing. Now to get a few women to visit. That would probably shut them both up. I do not even think women looking for love would be necessary. As grumbly as we men can be, a lady or two around settles some things sometimes. I will work on that. Who knows anyway, single women who are not looking for love are sometimes the perfect women to be around to find what is not sought. Tricky that way, yes they are! Rabbits, I say, with teeth like ^^^^ this!
I have gotten back into gaming a bit. Guild Wars is the thing. Not that many would understand, but I have seven mains, 5 or 6 of them through all campaigns and able to hench and hero through most quests, missions, and caps hard mode if I want or need. There are still things in the game too technical for me, believe it or else. I have 3 characters who I could suit up for just about anything but it is not fun to have to run a perfect game. I do not wish to work (too hard) at a game. I have nearly as much money, in game, as a character can have, all the max weapons for each attribute per character, several sets of armor apiece at least, etc. I wonder how much the game would be worth. Might be a small fortune or might be nothing these days. I know one kid, back when, who sold a game account for enough to get him through college (state college, but still... an engineering prospect back in Iowa City).
Oh, I have been praying a bit more regularly as well. Oddly, with this shut down, all communication ability seemed to shut down. I personally did not shut down and kept going if slower than I would have liked. That was a weird one. I do not think that is as bad as a total shutdown, if it has it's own frustrations.
Well, back to doing little. :P Have a great day.
Alive and 260.
.
.
I really froze up there. Might still be a bit tight, but I think I am coming back to life. I finally did get everything moved, but I did not vacuum the floor. The rest was in pretty good shape. I had my former neighbor help. He could not do much, but just having someone there helped me do the work. It is horrible to be so distracted. I need a wife who can be bossy when needed. When needed, of course, will be debatable. :p
I am down to 260 pounds. When I headed here, I was 303 or 305. I have not been doing much differently, eating wise. Perhaps I have been eating more. But, when I am off the clock so to speak, I am still much more active. I get out of the house at least three times a week, I would say. And even at home, I am doing things. I just did not think I would still be losing weight. I think the lack of humidity has something to do with it, and maybe the altitude? Who knows, but I am loving it.
I still have a few things clogging up the brain drain, but I am working on bits and pieces of each, even if I have not been writing. I just ran into a wall here, for some reason. I will not swear that it is over, only that I think it is ending. I need to sort the boxes I brought here and put some of that in storage. I have already gone through about a quarter of it. I need to send out the chain letter to those who said they would. I need to get over to college and talk to them. I need to prepare for my lady friend's visit and get a small gift or three. I have been calling my Mom, or more, calling her back. She does worry, and fairly.
I bought a new chair for the computer room and it is comfortable. The chair here was fine, but being wooden and somewhat antique (and nice, actually), I did not wish to harm it. I am trying to be as good to this place as I can. The rent and utilities are fantastic for what I am getting. With someone renting the old place now, life will normalize a bit both in my mind and in my finances. It was worth an extra month's rent to get into this, trust me, and for many reasons.
I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the family of my former neighbor. It was quite nice to be in a family setting with rather easygoing people over a fine meal. The food was quite good and I enjoyed the company. Our hostess needed emergency surgery the day before, but she was out of bed and there, though her daughters, husband, and son I think all pitched in to do the cooking. She was a bit pale and moved slowly and ate lightly, but gall bladder removal if better than it was is still quite a thing.
I bought and actually gave my first Christmas present today. I bought a tumbler for my former neighbor, for shining up the spent brass he reloads (ammunition reloader). He was thinking of buying that, but needed warm shirts. He was a bit torn and nervous about the money. So, I simply got him to buy the shirts and grabbed the device. I just hope he does not think he owes me. As you get older, it is funner to give than receive, especially with my tastes. I despise most gifts, as if I am going to buy something, I buy good stuff, really good. Outside of the range of most gift givers. I know, I know, but that is the way of it. And I will not wear ugly clothes! Doh! I have my Mom, my lady friend, and that is about all that is left on my list. I may do one of those tree gift things, for families in need. I will have to look at my finances first.
Well, that is it in not so much of a nutshell. I hope your lives have been good? I have been keeping many of you in my prayers. Your lives, worries, thoughts, and joy cross my mind fairly often. Oh well, perhaps I am sentimental or a bit fruity, but I like to think I just enjoy people.
Good night.
.
I really froze up there. Might still be a bit tight, but I think I am coming back to life. I finally did get everything moved, but I did not vacuum the floor. The rest was in pretty good shape. I had my former neighbor help. He could not do much, but just having someone there helped me do the work. It is horrible to be so distracted. I need a wife who can be bossy when needed. When needed, of course, will be debatable. :p
I am down to 260 pounds. When I headed here, I was 303 or 305. I have not been doing much differently, eating wise. Perhaps I have been eating more. But, when I am off the clock so to speak, I am still much more active. I get out of the house at least three times a week, I would say. And even at home, I am doing things. I just did not think I would still be losing weight. I think the lack of humidity has something to do with it, and maybe the altitude? Who knows, but I am loving it.
I still have a few things clogging up the brain drain, but I am working on bits and pieces of each, even if I have not been writing. I just ran into a wall here, for some reason. I will not swear that it is over, only that I think it is ending. I need to sort the boxes I brought here and put some of that in storage. I have already gone through about a quarter of it. I need to send out the chain letter to those who said they would. I need to get over to college and talk to them. I need to prepare for my lady friend's visit and get a small gift or three. I have been calling my Mom, or more, calling her back. She does worry, and fairly.
I bought a new chair for the computer room and it is comfortable. The chair here was fine, but being wooden and somewhat antique (and nice, actually), I did not wish to harm it. I am trying to be as good to this place as I can. The rent and utilities are fantastic for what I am getting. With someone renting the old place now, life will normalize a bit both in my mind and in my finances. It was worth an extra month's rent to get into this, trust me, and for many reasons.
I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the family of my former neighbor. It was quite nice to be in a family setting with rather easygoing people over a fine meal. The food was quite good and I enjoyed the company. Our hostess needed emergency surgery the day before, but she was out of bed and there, though her daughters, husband, and son I think all pitched in to do the cooking. She was a bit pale and moved slowly and ate lightly, but gall bladder removal if better than it was is still quite a thing.
I bought and actually gave my first Christmas present today. I bought a tumbler for my former neighbor, for shining up the spent brass he reloads (ammunition reloader). He was thinking of buying that, but needed warm shirts. He was a bit torn and nervous about the money. So, I simply got him to buy the shirts and grabbed the device. I just hope he does not think he owes me. As you get older, it is funner to give than receive, especially with my tastes. I despise most gifts, as if I am going to buy something, I buy good stuff, really good. Outside of the range of most gift givers. I know, I know, but that is the way of it. And I will not wear ugly clothes! Doh! I have my Mom, my lady friend, and that is about all that is left on my list. I may do one of those tree gift things, for families in need. I will have to look at my finances first.
Well, that is it in not so much of a nutshell. I hope your lives have been good? I have been keeping many of you in my prayers. Your lives, worries, thoughts, and joy cross my mind fairly often. Oh well, perhaps I am sentimental or a bit fruity, but I like to think I just enjoy people.
Good night.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Yeah, well...
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.
A few things done. I did find the tools. Yeah! I also went grocery shopping and bought enough for the month. I obtained plenty of boxes. I reestablished a link with my bank online. And I canceled my donations to my old church so that I may start that with the new one. Tomorrow I hope to take the machine apart, pack those boxes, and maybe make it to Ogden so my friend can pick up his rifle. I know there are some other things to do, but... I do not think I can do more until Monday. Perhaps I could call and arrange a meeting for next week with a college guidance councilor. It depends how much time I end up having and whether I can remember to do it. Doh!
Just scribbling and trying to let the lists I put here remind me. I am not sure what else to say. Hope your lives are going well. Take care.
.
A few things done. I did find the tools. Yeah! I also went grocery shopping and bought enough for the month. I obtained plenty of boxes. I reestablished a link with my bank online. And I canceled my donations to my old church so that I may start that with the new one. Tomorrow I hope to take the machine apart, pack those boxes, and maybe make it to Ogden so my friend can pick up his rifle. I know there are some other things to do, but... I do not think I can do more until Monday. Perhaps I could call and arrange a meeting for next week with a college guidance councilor. It depends how much time I end up having and whether I can remember to do it. Doh!
Just scribbling and trying to let the lists I put here remind me. I am not sure what else to say. Hope your lives are going well. Take care.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Things to do.
.
.
Trying to get back to the practical. It is never easy after... some period of off time. I need to finish the move. That will mean getting a dozen boxes and the tools to tear down one piece of equipment. That apartment is 70% skeletonized I would guess, so it is not a lot of work, just several jobs requiring different things. Next, I need to reset my online access with my old account. Not knowing what is going on with my money is a big problem, internally. And, of course, being broke is too. No doubt, one will almost by necessity lead to the other. My ex-neighbor needs a ride to pick up his new .338 Marlin express. I am hoping he will not like it. Finally, I need to get organized here.
My lady friend called, it sounds like she will be coming. I know for certain, if I had not put insurance on the tickets, she would have canceled. She might anyway. That $16 takes a load off my mind. I do not mind spending for something, but not for nothing. I have been seeing much less of my ex-neighbor. I may have made another social contact, if I can keep up contact is another thing. No one has time or interest, yet everybody seems to need contact. It is one of those dilemma things. Like water, you do not miss it until or unless you really need it.
Not much going on. Last night was my first night to sleep here. Getting used to the new sounds is always a task. I just need to get my head straight and get going. I do need to check in at school and ask to speak to an adviser and maybe a professor or two. I would like to know where I stand and where I could go, and maybe where I want to go. Unless they want me to do some of the killer stuff over, I only have engineering physics II left to do for that part. The rest will be core, in which there are several difficult classes too of course. Dream dream, but it is there.
Have a good day!
.
Trying to get back to the practical. It is never easy after... some period of off time. I need to finish the move. That will mean getting a dozen boxes and the tools to tear down one piece of equipment. That apartment is 70% skeletonized I would guess, so it is not a lot of work, just several jobs requiring different things. Next, I need to reset my online access with my old account. Not knowing what is going on with my money is a big problem, internally. And, of course, being broke is too. No doubt, one will almost by necessity lead to the other. My ex-neighbor needs a ride to pick up his new .338 Marlin express. I am hoping he will not like it. Finally, I need to get organized here.
My lady friend called, it sounds like she will be coming. I know for certain, if I had not put insurance on the tickets, she would have canceled. She might anyway. That $16 takes a load off my mind. I do not mind spending for something, but not for nothing. I have been seeing much less of my ex-neighbor. I may have made another social contact, if I can keep up contact is another thing. No one has time or interest, yet everybody seems to need contact. It is one of those dilemma things. Like water, you do not miss it until or unless you really need it.
Not much going on. Last night was my first night to sleep here. Getting used to the new sounds is always a task. I just need to get my head straight and get going. I do need to check in at school and ask to speak to an adviser and maybe a professor or two. I would like to know where I stand and where I could go, and maybe where I want to go. Unless they want me to do some of the killer stuff over, I only have engineering physics II left to do for that part. The rest will be core, in which there are several difficult classes too of course. Dream dream, but it is there.
Have a good day!
Monday, November 16, 2009
No, I am not dead yet.
.
.
Not sure what happened, but... I did not lose track of everything. Oddly, I have been dysfunctionally functional. I have been, if still slowly, moving stuff from place to place, meeting and greeting people, and this and that. But I totally became blind to much else, like posting. I am not getting everything completed which I would like completed. And I am doing nothing as timely as I should like. And yet, bit by bit, the stuff that gnaws at me is tended. I just became deaf and mute in a way. It is like my ability to communicate, online and in real life, turned off mostly. It is different here, if I have not quite been able to corner the market on the better aspects fully yet.
Nothing new or newsy to report. Well, I am not dead. I do not know what is wrong, xactly, so fixing it is a thing for time. I think not having the apartment cleaned out is bugging me and some things which where bothering me but have been cured still slog the machine somehow (like not having the apartment rented, someone will be taking it over in December (yeah!), but it is still messing with me, maybe because I cannot seem to get out! Trapped, confused, waiting, hoping, unsure, quiet, patient, befuddled... That is all I see, it is all I know, and yet... bit by bit anyway. Not bad, I will give it a solid F for effort, with the possibility of improving that with the completion of the project. I will give it an A+ for the fact that I am still walking, working, driving, loading, eating, and grooming as is possible, in spite of having no seeming connection with the world, no taste for life let alone goals, nothing going in this cold dark place in my mind but a want for sleep. Oh, and my sleep is fairly good, dreaming ended (that I remember). I am eating twice a day (though I am not, oddly, having bm's, yet I am not impacted either). I wonder if it just takes a lot more energy to run here, in the winter, in the arid climate, at this altitude. Everything is being used. I have been eating good, but only a few bm's a week. (maybe more information than you cared to know, butt...) :0
That is it. No nut shell needed. My world is smaller than a peanut. But it is a tasty one, I am sure, if I could see flavor!
.
Not sure what happened, but... I did not lose track of everything. Oddly, I have been dysfunctionally functional. I have been, if still slowly, moving stuff from place to place, meeting and greeting people, and this and that. But I totally became blind to much else, like posting. I am not getting everything completed which I would like completed. And I am doing nothing as timely as I should like. And yet, bit by bit, the stuff that gnaws at me is tended. I just became deaf and mute in a way. It is like my ability to communicate, online and in real life, turned off mostly. It is different here, if I have not quite been able to corner the market on the better aspects fully yet.
Nothing new or newsy to report. Well, I am not dead. I do not know what is wrong, xactly, so fixing it is a thing for time. I think not having the apartment cleaned out is bugging me and some things which where bothering me but have been cured still slog the machine somehow (like not having the apartment rented, someone will be taking it over in December (yeah!), but it is still messing with me, maybe because I cannot seem to get out! Trapped, confused, waiting, hoping, unsure, quiet, patient, befuddled... That is all I see, it is all I know, and yet... bit by bit anyway. Not bad, I will give it a solid F for effort, with the possibility of improving that with the completion of the project. I will give it an A+ for the fact that I am still walking, working, driving, loading, eating, and grooming as is possible, in spite of having no seeming connection with the world, no taste for life let alone goals, nothing going in this cold dark place in my mind but a want for sleep. Oh, and my sleep is fairly good, dreaming ended (that I remember). I am eating twice a day (though I am not, oddly, having bm's, yet I am not impacted either). I wonder if it just takes a lot more energy to run here, in the winter, in the arid climate, at this altitude. Everything is being used. I have been eating good, but only a few bm's a week. (maybe more information than you cared to know, butt...) :0
That is it. No nut shell needed. My world is smaller than a peanut. But it is a tasty one, I am sure, if I could see flavor!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Today being Sunday, I did no work.
.
.
Some of the choice to not work was based on religious conviction. I must be honest though, I felt like today was "safe", like in the game tag. I have been doing bits and pieces of moving as I can. I simply am exhausted and confused. I do not remember dreaming last night. But my calves, upper legs, and such, are all so sore and stiff I have been having to drive a bit more carefully. I have had to use my hand to help lift my leg off one pedal and onto the other. It has been like this for a week, though a bit worse the last few days. I have been trying to eat more and better. That does not seem to help.
I just cannot snap out of it and pull together. The good news is I do not need to do so. Reading and goofing. I finally do have it that G.K. Chesterton is supposed to be funny. I had no idea what I would be dealing with when I started to read his book. I would read along a bit and it would build. Eventually I just had to chuckle or laugh, sometimes heavily. I am nearly done with his first book, making progress in rereading the New Testament, and tinkering on the machine in a mindless time eating fashion. For right now, it is enough.
I do have some projects in mind. I would like to do some raking here. No, I was not asked to generally. Call it a sentimental act, or getting the feel for ownership or a simple homeowner pride participation device, or just a simple physical task. Tomorrow or Tuesday I will rake that lawn. Saturday, yesterday, between laundry and moving things in a bit, I did sweep the deck clean of leaves and set up some chairs and such. Who knows, maybe someone will visit and it will be warm enough to sit on the deck. It made me feel better in any case, and then got me thinking about raking the whole thing. I even know some people who merely want the bagged leaves.
Supper, I think, then maybe bed. If I can sleep. Goodnight!
.
Some of the choice to not work was based on religious conviction. I must be honest though, I felt like today was "safe", like in the game tag. I have been doing bits and pieces of moving as I can. I simply am exhausted and confused. I do not remember dreaming last night. But my calves, upper legs, and such, are all so sore and stiff I have been having to drive a bit more carefully. I have had to use my hand to help lift my leg off one pedal and onto the other. It has been like this for a week, though a bit worse the last few days. I have been trying to eat more and better. That does not seem to help.
I just cannot snap out of it and pull together. The good news is I do not need to do so. Reading and goofing. I finally do have it that G.K. Chesterton is supposed to be funny. I had no idea what I would be dealing with when I started to read his book. I would read along a bit and it would build. Eventually I just had to chuckle or laugh, sometimes heavily. I am nearly done with his first book, making progress in rereading the New Testament, and tinkering on the machine in a mindless time eating fashion. For right now, it is enough.
I do have some projects in mind. I would like to do some raking here. No, I was not asked to generally. Call it a sentimental act, or getting the feel for ownership or a simple homeowner pride participation device, or just a simple physical task. Tomorrow or Tuesday I will rake that lawn. Saturday, yesterday, between laundry and moving things in a bit, I did sweep the deck clean of leaves and set up some chairs and such. Who knows, maybe someone will visit and it will be warm enough to sit on the deck. It made me feel better in any case, and then got me thinking about raking the whole thing. I even know some people who merely want the bagged leaves.
Supper, I think, then maybe bed. If I can sleep. Goodnight!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The time is now.
.
.
Watching financial moves, reading about the political football being played, and just catching on to some of the winds of the world, I realize now is a turning point in history. I might be lead to think this was born in the sixties, and to some extent it was, for here. I might go back further and point to Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, and others. And, that would be true to some extent, of course extending back to Marx. But the truth is, this battle has been waged, won, and lost many times over the course of time. But it culminates, for us and for the world, now.
There are other nearly free nations. Some of them are freer, economically, then America. Some are freer in a libertine manner. None of this will matter if the unilateral world power quits being a free power. If we fail, those nations who have attempted to emulate what we have here, however they have chosen to express it, will fall. No small flame can be lit in the rain. That flame that is the yearning of free men to be free, unless we are truly merely animals, cannot be extinguished. But it can lose voice and representation. It has before. If it does not now, it will in time.
Some of this is due to people being foolish. Some of it is born on ignorance. Some of it, of course is brought about by evil, lying, naivete, and other such things. Though it is not quite right to say that people should not look to themselves, that was actually built into our system. What is the major problem is people who choose to believe they will get something that simply cannot be had. The exchange of power for health care, a loving government, or anything else is merely a scam. It takes money from people, and power, and gives it to those who have proven again and again that they will abuse it.
If it were just the poor, the uneducated, or such, that would be one thing. When you hear a college teacher express that Biden is just so cute when he says the things he does. Or when you hear another who simply knows Obama is going to make the world better (somehow). One has to stop and wonder at all that has gone wrong to bring us to this point and what it would take to correct it. I suppose even that side knows there is a problem, if they cannot really grasp it. Their plan is euthanasia of one sort, but more likely on every front in which they can legislate it or enact it. Those of us who are appalled at the notion have no response except to fight it, and usually lose. It certainly makes me question "conservative leadership" at almost every level. How do you give real hope to people who have none and who have the vote? How do you express the fact that every day is a new chance to people who have quit? How do you tell them that there is something better than lies, death, other people's money, and taxes?
If I were a multi-gazzilionaire and saying these things, that could be put off. I am not. I am a lower income cripple. I am one of those voices who is supposed to believe my government will take care of me. I am supposed to believe the lies. I do not believe. Further, even if I thought these things could be done, I do not believe in the underlying principles required to make them true, that is stealing other people's money at an unbelievable rate, socializing medicine, and undermining whatever founding principles this nation was built on to enact these things. I am weary, my mind is boggled, what else is there to say.
.
Watching financial moves, reading about the political football being played, and just catching on to some of the winds of the world, I realize now is a turning point in history. I might be lead to think this was born in the sixties, and to some extent it was, for here. I might go back further and point to Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, and others. And, that would be true to some extent, of course extending back to Marx. But the truth is, this battle has been waged, won, and lost many times over the course of time. But it culminates, for us and for the world, now.
There are other nearly free nations. Some of them are freer, economically, then America. Some are freer in a libertine manner. None of this will matter if the unilateral world power quits being a free power. If we fail, those nations who have attempted to emulate what we have here, however they have chosen to express it, will fall. No small flame can be lit in the rain. That flame that is the yearning of free men to be free, unless we are truly merely animals, cannot be extinguished. But it can lose voice and representation. It has before. If it does not now, it will in time.
Some of this is due to people being foolish. Some of it is born on ignorance. Some of it, of course is brought about by evil, lying, naivete, and other such things. Though it is not quite right to say that people should not look to themselves, that was actually built into our system. What is the major problem is people who choose to believe they will get something that simply cannot be had. The exchange of power for health care, a loving government, or anything else is merely a scam. It takes money from people, and power, and gives it to those who have proven again and again that they will abuse it.
If it were just the poor, the uneducated, or such, that would be one thing. When you hear a college teacher express that Biden is just so cute when he says the things he does. Or when you hear another who simply knows Obama is going to make the world better (somehow). One has to stop and wonder at all that has gone wrong to bring us to this point and what it would take to correct it. I suppose even that side knows there is a problem, if they cannot really grasp it. Their plan is euthanasia of one sort, but more likely on every front in which they can legislate it or enact it. Those of us who are appalled at the notion have no response except to fight it, and usually lose. It certainly makes me question "conservative leadership" at almost every level. How do you give real hope to people who have none and who have the vote? How do you express the fact that every day is a new chance to people who have quit? How do you tell them that there is something better than lies, death, other people's money, and taxes?
If I were a multi-gazzilionaire and saying these things, that could be put off. I am not. I am a lower income cripple. I am one of those voices who is supposed to believe my government will take care of me. I am supposed to believe the lies. I do not believe. Further, even if I thought these things could be done, I do not believe in the underlying principles required to make them true, that is stealing other people's money at an unbelievable rate, socializing medicine, and undermining whatever founding principles this nation was built on to enact these things. I am weary, my mind is boggled, what else is there to say.
Well, something is working.
.
.
The last few days I was getting up later and the last few nights I could not sleep until early in the morning, 4:00 last night. I set my alarm for 9:00 this morning, hoping upon hope that I would rise (by noon, I am practical). Instead, I woke at a quarter to eight. I did a little damage assessment and some preps for the move, got a load ready, and here I am. Two or three loads a day should see me in good stead. I am not sleeping here yet. I like waking up with nothing to do but move. It offers incentives to get going. In this next week, I should be completely out of the apartment.
I did dream last night as well. Oddly, while I was dreaming, I was also awake enough to hear a conversation next door. At first I thought I was having two dreams at once, or that the conversation was going to become a part of it, without really understanding I was asleep. I simply could not understand what was happening. It sort of killed the dream when I realized the speaking was physical. And yet, I was not actually awake either. That is one of the odder experiences I have had in a while. Awake in mind but not in flesh. Gee, if I were not Catholic, I might have to become a shaman. Then again, I doubt if it pays as well. It might be easier to get a wife though.
More, I do not feel exhausted this morning. It may have to do with spending time here, with all the sunlight available in this place. I simply am not sure what to make of things sometimes.
.
The last few days I was getting up later and the last few nights I could not sleep until early in the morning, 4:00 last night. I set my alarm for 9:00 this morning, hoping upon hope that I would rise (by noon, I am practical). Instead, I woke at a quarter to eight. I did a little damage assessment and some preps for the move, got a load ready, and here I am. Two or three loads a day should see me in good stead. I am not sleeping here yet. I like waking up with nothing to do but move. It offers incentives to get going. In this next week, I should be completely out of the apartment.
I did dream last night as well. Oddly, while I was dreaming, I was also awake enough to hear a conversation next door. At first I thought I was having two dreams at once, or that the conversation was going to become a part of it, without really understanding I was asleep. I simply could not understand what was happening. It sort of killed the dream when I realized the speaking was physical. And yet, I was not actually awake either. That is one of the odder experiences I have had in a while. Awake in mind but not in flesh. Gee, if I were not Catholic, I might have to become a shaman. Then again, I doubt if it pays as well. It might be easier to get a wife though.
More, I do not feel exhausted this morning. It may have to do with spending time here, with all the sunlight available in this place. I simply am not sure what to make of things sometimes.
Friday, November 6, 2009
The machine is moved.
.
.
Unlike what customer service suggested, my internet did not continue at the old place past noon today. My guess is, despite what he said, they merely switched the one off when the turned the new one on. My landlady had worried, since they have not had a land line here and this is dsl (over the phone lines) that it might not work. I figured I would worry about that when the time came. No problems, as I thought. When she voiced her worry, my mother's image overlaced her image, which usually tells me it is merely a feminine neurosis thing, and for the most part to be ignored. Not that she or my Mom are always wrong, it is just that they try and put monkey wrenches into men's work, and cause us psychic tics. Bah! It has taken me years to figure that out and move on through. Oh, and mothers out there, leave your kids alone this way! If you have a worry, let them find the problem if there is one and figure it out. Putting the icy fear of God of doing ANYTHING in your kid's heads is a crime!
I feel better.
Now, on the upside, losing the internet probably allowed me to get cracking. I am, after all, an addict of no small desire. From blogging to a game or two to researching things that mean nothing and I may forget tomorrow, but which expand my felt presence in the world whole, is something I do not like being without. Even if I should not deign to use anything, access is required. I now have the machine over and set up, a couple of loads of laundry done, and a good platform to jump off for my final big push to complete my move. Although I am going to call them and make sure I am not billed for a service I did not receive. If it all works, they will have done me a favor for nothing out of my pocket.
Dreams, dreams, dreams! Where are these things coming from? It is brutal. I am becoming a zombie from exhaustion. I seem to be plagued by so many diseases which are not supposed to be diseases, I really wonder what is truly wrong with me. Could it be spirits? I doubt it, I am clean with God, though a confession is in order and a bit past due. Could it all be sleep and dream related? More sleep, or less, does not change a thing. I simply dream too much. It probably is why I am tired so often. And, to be honest, exhaustion is the only thing wrong with me. There have been times when the dreams were so real that they confused me. Not that I was clinically insane because of it, just confused. Imagine if you dreamed you went to the store and bought many things. Upon waking, you were sure you had them so you did not check when planning a special meal. On that day, you look and find you have none of the things you were sure you had. Now add in more complex things and a few heavier things.
I have had a severe life. Having no roots, not knowing my birth family, not being even in one family but having been in seven different 'family evironments'. A lot of fighting, some acting out, a disinterest in school, some tougher family situations, and some real dangers in the service. That does not help, perhaps those are the fundamental causes of the dreams. I am not sure. But I have done as much, clinically, as is possible with those issues. I have tried prescribed and over-the-counter sleep aids. Those guarantee two things... one that I will sleep, two that I will only sleep about 4 hours. The one thing that did work was taken, Ritalin. It allowed me to overcome the exhaustion, and perhaps some of the confustion and ADD like symptoms from lack of sleep, and to become active enough to function. Though, perhaps, near the end, it was losing it's potency (or they really did put me on a placebo).
One of the really good things about the house I am now in is... windows! Lots of them, plenty of light all day. There is no need for lights until it turns dark. There is a great deal more light here in Utah, even in this northern part, then there is in Iowa. It always seemed dark there. Then again, and added to that, I had my shades pulled all of the time. Too many 'people' simply ignored anything like land rights, being told to keep off the lawn, or even the police (though they were about as helpful as neutered muzzled chihuahuas). I am doing better here, I must just assume this is a part of becoming accustomed to the area. In Iowa, as I am, I would not be moving stuff, with or without internet access, I would be sleeping and for days on end. This is truly the best of the worst times I have ever had. I had this before, here, but it is better yet.
Time will tell, and though I whine and complain, I know life has gotten much better.
Oh, someone asked about my Amazon wish list. I only meant that I had made one. And yes, the name is very personalized to this blog and ID. However, I was only saying I was pleased to have been able to create it, use some of the names I like, and such. It is obscure enough that is not meant to be found by others. If you are a gazzilionaire and would like to hand me a katrillion dollars, we will talk. Though I might even turn that down. Well, okay, I might not. Ha! But I did not mean for people to look, buy me stuff, or anything like that. I am sort of weird that way. There is something about pride being bad, but this is not quite that. If I needed to beg, or thought my writing was worth something, I would publish and sell it. If you ever feel bad for me and want to do something, do this: If you have a relationship with God, lend my name to His ear when you two talk; if you do not believe, then simply think kind thoughts my way. And know to, that I believe suffering is not a complete waste. It is not a waste at all. Through suffering joy is born, treasure is stored in heaven through it whether it is experienced because of His name or merely even if it is handed as a poor man's sacrifice as I do. Suffering for it's own sake is one thing, but my suffering is not that. And, I must add, suffering is only a small part of my life. There is much good.
I blather.
*poof*
.
Unlike what customer service suggested, my internet did not continue at the old place past noon today. My guess is, despite what he said, they merely switched the one off when the turned the new one on. My landlady had worried, since they have not had a land line here and this is dsl (over the phone lines) that it might not work. I figured I would worry about that when the time came. No problems, as I thought. When she voiced her worry, my mother's image overlaced her image, which usually tells me it is merely a feminine neurosis thing, and for the most part to be ignored. Not that she or my Mom are always wrong, it is just that they try and put monkey wrenches into men's work, and cause us psychic tics. Bah! It has taken me years to figure that out and move on through. Oh, and mothers out there, leave your kids alone this way! If you have a worry, let them find the problem if there is one and figure it out. Putting the icy fear of God of doing ANYTHING in your kid's heads is a crime!
I feel better.
Now, on the upside, losing the internet probably allowed me to get cracking. I am, after all, an addict of no small desire. From blogging to a game or two to researching things that mean nothing and I may forget tomorrow, but which expand my felt presence in the world whole, is something I do not like being without. Even if I should not deign to use anything, access is required. I now have the machine over and set up, a couple of loads of laundry done, and a good platform to jump off for my final big push to complete my move. Although I am going to call them and make sure I am not billed for a service I did not receive. If it all works, they will have done me a favor for nothing out of my pocket.
Dreams, dreams, dreams! Where are these things coming from? It is brutal. I am becoming a zombie from exhaustion. I seem to be plagued by so many diseases which are not supposed to be diseases, I really wonder what is truly wrong with me. Could it be spirits? I doubt it, I am clean with God, though a confession is in order and a bit past due. Could it all be sleep and dream related? More sleep, or less, does not change a thing. I simply dream too much. It probably is why I am tired so often. And, to be honest, exhaustion is the only thing wrong with me. There have been times when the dreams were so real that they confused me. Not that I was clinically insane because of it, just confused. Imagine if you dreamed you went to the store and bought many things. Upon waking, you were sure you had them so you did not check when planning a special meal. On that day, you look and find you have none of the things you were sure you had. Now add in more complex things and a few heavier things.
I have had a severe life. Having no roots, not knowing my birth family, not being even in one family but having been in seven different 'family evironments'. A lot of fighting, some acting out, a disinterest in school, some tougher family situations, and some real dangers in the service. That does not help, perhaps those are the fundamental causes of the dreams. I am not sure. But I have done as much, clinically, as is possible with those issues. I have tried prescribed and over-the-counter sleep aids. Those guarantee two things... one that I will sleep, two that I will only sleep about 4 hours. The one thing that did work was taken, Ritalin. It allowed me to overcome the exhaustion, and perhaps some of the confustion and ADD like symptoms from lack of sleep, and to become active enough to function. Though, perhaps, near the end, it was losing it's potency (or they really did put me on a placebo).
One of the really good things about the house I am now in is... windows! Lots of them, plenty of light all day. There is no need for lights until it turns dark. There is a great deal more light here in Utah, even in this northern part, then there is in Iowa. It always seemed dark there. Then again, and added to that, I had my shades pulled all of the time. Too many 'people' simply ignored anything like land rights, being told to keep off the lawn, or even the police (though they were about as helpful as neutered muzzled chihuahuas). I am doing better here, I must just assume this is a part of becoming accustomed to the area. In Iowa, as I am, I would not be moving stuff, with or without internet access, I would be sleeping and for days on end. This is truly the best of the worst times I have ever had. I had this before, here, but it is better yet.
Time will tell, and though I whine and complain, I know life has gotten much better.
Oh, someone asked about my Amazon wish list. I only meant that I had made one. And yes, the name is very personalized to this blog and ID. However, I was only saying I was pleased to have been able to create it, use some of the names I like, and such. It is obscure enough that is not meant to be found by others. If you are a gazzilionaire and would like to hand me a katrillion dollars, we will talk. Though I might even turn that down. Well, okay, I might not. Ha! But I did not mean for people to look, buy me stuff, or anything like that. I am sort of weird that way. There is something about pride being bad, but this is not quite that. If I needed to beg, or thought my writing was worth something, I would publish and sell it. If you ever feel bad for me and want to do something, do this: If you have a relationship with God, lend my name to His ear when you two talk; if you do not believe, then simply think kind thoughts my way. And know to, that I believe suffering is not a complete waste. It is not a waste at all. Through suffering joy is born, treasure is stored in heaven through it whether it is experienced because of His name or merely even if it is handed as a poor man's sacrifice as I do. Suffering for it's own sake is one thing, but my suffering is not that. And, I must add, suffering is only a small part of my life. There is much good.
I blather.
*poof*
Thursday, November 5, 2009
It will work out, eventually.
.
.
Troubles in sleepland continue. I have been waking a bit late, but going to bed at a reasonable time. I am holding on, for the moment, against encroaching sleep chaos. I actually think I will make it out of troubles just fine this time. That does not mean I am as active as I would like. I am in one of those weird moods where I seem to be trying to catch my psychic breath... by holding my breath. Okay, so I think it is sort of funny. At least when I looked a little closer and saw what was happening. No wonder things are screwy. Troublesome and bothersome to be sure. But why not enjoy a little laughter in there with it?
My goal at this point is to merely hang on to days and do whatever I can in the meanwhile. This is truly one of the best "slips" I have ever had. I may be discomboobelated, disoriented, confused, and disassociated with flesh. In spite of that, I am keeping a schedule, I am getting some things done, and I could actually do a light schedule. This is unheard of to me. I am not sure if the dreaming is playing a part, but I know I dreamed again last night, heavily, if I remember next to nothing about them this time. I sense that my dreams are becoming epic. I sort of wish I could remember a few of them. My dreams are far better than most movies, or even series of movies. Take the book form of the Lord of the Rings series, make each book into a series of moves so you miss nothing, then do so for all the books, and you end up with an epic dream. Sometimes, if something interests me, like the dead king wraiths or whatever, I can find out more about them (as an example, I have not dreamed such an actual dream). And, I revisit dreams. I cannot make myself dream about one topic or another, but I can guide the dream, or out and out break it if it makes me angry. Though I like good scary ones, as I have said, so I do not change those.
I will figure it out. And if I can, which I think will happen, keep on track until I get back on my feet, I have a really good chance at expanding life here. I have not been blogging or much of anything lately. Never worry, I am fine, just a bit out of it. It is fun to have some visitors while I am 'home sick'. *chirp* Ha!
Have a great day!
.
Troubles in sleepland continue. I have been waking a bit late, but going to bed at a reasonable time. I am holding on, for the moment, against encroaching sleep chaos. I actually think I will make it out of troubles just fine this time. That does not mean I am as active as I would like. I am in one of those weird moods where I seem to be trying to catch my psychic breath... by holding my breath. Okay, so I think it is sort of funny. At least when I looked a little closer and saw what was happening. No wonder things are screwy. Troublesome and bothersome to be sure. But why not enjoy a little laughter in there with it?
My goal at this point is to merely hang on to days and do whatever I can in the meanwhile. This is truly one of the best "slips" I have ever had. I may be discomboobelated, disoriented, confused, and disassociated with flesh. In spite of that, I am keeping a schedule, I am getting some things done, and I could actually do a light schedule. This is unheard of to me. I am not sure if the dreaming is playing a part, but I know I dreamed again last night, heavily, if I remember next to nothing about them this time. I sense that my dreams are becoming epic. I sort of wish I could remember a few of them. My dreams are far better than most movies, or even series of movies. Take the book form of the Lord of the Rings series, make each book into a series of moves so you miss nothing, then do so for all the books, and you end up with an epic dream. Sometimes, if something interests me, like the dead king wraiths or whatever, I can find out more about them (as an example, I have not dreamed such an actual dream). And, I revisit dreams. I cannot make myself dream about one topic or another, but I can guide the dream, or out and out break it if it makes me angry. Though I like good scary ones, as I have said, so I do not change those.
I will figure it out. And if I can, which I think will happen, keep on track until I get back on my feet, I have a really good chance at expanding life here. I have not been blogging or much of anything lately. Never worry, I am fine, just a bit out of it. It is fun to have some visitors while I am 'home sick'. *chirp* Ha!
Have a great day!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I actually got to be Hell Boy.
.
.
Dream bombed last night and through a bunch of snoozes until I turned the thing off, and then some more. Meh, being Hell Boy is just as problematic as being me, or more. It was not just one dream in which I was Hell Boy, either, it was all of them that I remember. That is simply who I was in all the dreaming that I remember, and I remember many dreams. I tried to remember one of the several dreams from last night but waking at nearly noon, the memory is gone. It was sort of funny. I awoke from the dreams and to go to the restroom enough times to know that I do actually dream all night long, to some extent, and then on into the morning. I suspect it was not the dreams which caused me to sleep so long, it was the work yesterday as I have been so sedentary lately. And I do not normally get up late at night to use the facilities, however I was drinking heavily yesterday and last night (non-alcoholic drinks, mind you). It was a thirsty day yesterday.
No problem, I will try to sleep as usual tonight and maintain my schedule. I have had skips and misses before. With a little extra effort, I may well be able to stay the course. I cannot remember, but I would guess it has been two or three weeks now, that I have been getting up early! In spite of little sun and a constant battle to keep this place from being too hot or too cold, and on even through a period when I simply could not tell whether it was too hot or cold. The temps in this apartment run from over 82 (as high as by glass bead in glass tube thermometers go), to in the low 60's. Oddly, I end up using the air conditioning (still!) at nights because everybody seems to crank their heat and then the heater in the day because they turn off all heat when they go. I really cannot wait to get to the new place.
I have been experimenting with the furnace setting there. Just from feel, the low 60's are fine in that house. Since I have not been living there, I cannot be sure. There is a programable thermostat there. I have it set for 72 F at about 5:30 to 7:00, then 60 F at 7:00 to 18:00, 55 F at 21:00 or something, during the weekdays. Then the high of only 68 F in the morning and a little later on the weekends, the rest being the same. But it has always been pleasant when I am there.
I have a few things to do today, and I will probably get several loads either to the apartment or to storage. The hard part is done, now to get the little stuff tended and the carpet here in the apartment kitchen cleaned. Once the router works in the house, I will have no further need of the apartment. A lot of blathering this morning. But I am planning, thinking, and waking up. It helps. I suppose that is why song birds do their thing, at least when it is past breeding season.
*chirp*
Have a great day!
.
Dream bombed last night and through a bunch of snoozes until I turned the thing off, and then some more. Meh, being Hell Boy is just as problematic as being me, or more. It was not just one dream in which I was Hell Boy, either, it was all of them that I remember. That is simply who I was in all the dreaming that I remember, and I remember many dreams. I tried to remember one of the several dreams from last night but waking at nearly noon, the memory is gone. It was sort of funny. I awoke from the dreams and to go to the restroom enough times to know that I do actually dream all night long, to some extent, and then on into the morning. I suspect it was not the dreams which caused me to sleep so long, it was the work yesterday as I have been so sedentary lately. And I do not normally get up late at night to use the facilities, however I was drinking heavily yesterday and last night (non-alcoholic drinks, mind you). It was a thirsty day yesterday.
No problem, I will try to sleep as usual tonight and maintain my schedule. I have had skips and misses before. With a little extra effort, I may well be able to stay the course. I cannot remember, but I would guess it has been two or three weeks now, that I have been getting up early! In spite of little sun and a constant battle to keep this place from being too hot or too cold, and on even through a period when I simply could not tell whether it was too hot or cold. The temps in this apartment run from over 82 (as high as by glass bead in glass tube thermometers go), to in the low 60's. Oddly, I end up using the air conditioning (still!) at nights because everybody seems to crank their heat and then the heater in the day because they turn off all heat when they go. I really cannot wait to get to the new place.
I have been experimenting with the furnace setting there. Just from feel, the low 60's are fine in that house. Since I have not been living there, I cannot be sure. There is a programable thermostat there. I have it set for 72 F at about 5:30 to 7:00, then 60 F at 7:00 to 18:00, 55 F at 21:00 or something, during the weekdays. Then the high of only 68 F in the morning and a little later on the weekends, the rest being the same. But it has always been pleasant when I am there.
I have a few things to do today, and I will probably get several loads either to the apartment or to storage. The hard part is done, now to get the little stuff tended and the carpet here in the apartment kitchen cleaned. Once the router works in the house, I will have no further need of the apartment. A lot of blathering this morning. But I am planning, thinking, and waking up. It helps. I suppose that is why song birds do their thing, at least when it is past breeding season.
*chirp*
Have a great day!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Not yesterday and not all of it.
.
.
I did get some of the calls completed yesterday. That was it. Today I did get to the storage shed and sorted a bit and re-ordered the thing. I had about 5 by 5 feet of free space, I now have more like 10 x 5, right down the middle. That should allow room for the weight bench and excercise machine when they are dismantled, plus a good little bit. I could make more room, though there are problems with stacking things too high. But, that was the thing that was holding a lot of this up. That and the internet. My ISP rep. said that would be connected Friday. No one needs to go and hook it up, which made me wonder why they cannot do it today. Though it is probably a switch panel somewhere and the techs, or secretaries for all I know, can only switch so many in one day, along with whatever else they do, and I was merely put on a list. Right behind breaks, chatting up the new hot secretary, and doing something on the computer they are not supposed to. Ha.
I might pay a bill or two tonight, maybe all three. I am considering how secure this machine is and how secure it needs to be. Though I would be all for someone hacking my account to pay my bill, the thing is there may be other information on my account which might help them pay their bill on my nickel. If I use the internet a great deal, I cannot trust it. I had considered getting a game system but have decided against it merely on the grounds that even those work on some kind of internet now. I simply do not wish to be connected in everything I do.
I dreamed though, again, last night. And I dreamed all night again. I know, they say the dreams are over quickly and all that, whatever. Though I do not think they have all that as down pat as they think, either. Here is a thought, you do realize every educated person was educated by someone, right? You realize no one is perfect right? You also must understand that data transmitted from one person to another is the surest way to corrupt information. Which means, like mercury in fish ends up at the highest levels in the biggest consumers, so to do errors collect the greatest in the most well educated. All I am saying is... enjoy your next doctor visit and pray you do not need an even more educated person to cut you open. Someday real doctors will ask what they barbarians were doing, and sort of chortle darkly about the grotesqueries of our "medical practices". Then again, if it is socialized, he will be saying that as he takes his next narcotic mix to stay awake for his 2nd 24 hour shift in transfiguritive maintenance (what used to be surgery), and checks his McDonald sized income online to make sure he has enough for more "snuff".
.
I did get some of the calls completed yesterday. That was it. Today I did get to the storage shed and sorted a bit and re-ordered the thing. I had about 5 by 5 feet of free space, I now have more like 10 x 5, right down the middle. That should allow room for the weight bench and excercise machine when they are dismantled, plus a good little bit. I could make more room, though there are problems with stacking things too high. But, that was the thing that was holding a lot of this up. That and the internet. My ISP rep. said that would be connected Friday. No one needs to go and hook it up, which made me wonder why they cannot do it today. Though it is probably a switch panel somewhere and the techs, or secretaries for all I know, can only switch so many in one day, along with whatever else they do, and I was merely put on a list. Right behind breaks, chatting up the new hot secretary, and doing something on the computer they are not supposed to. Ha.
I might pay a bill or two tonight, maybe all three. I am considering how secure this machine is and how secure it needs to be. Though I would be all for someone hacking my account to pay my bill, the thing is there may be other information on my account which might help them pay their bill on my nickel. If I use the internet a great deal, I cannot trust it. I had considered getting a game system but have decided against it merely on the grounds that even those work on some kind of internet now. I simply do not wish to be connected in everything I do.
I dreamed though, again, last night. And I dreamed all night again. I know, they say the dreams are over quickly and all that, whatever. Though I do not think they have all that as down pat as they think, either. Here is a thought, you do realize every educated person was educated by someone, right? You realize no one is perfect right? You also must understand that data transmitted from one person to another is the surest way to corrupt information. Which means, like mercury in fish ends up at the highest levels in the biggest consumers, so to do errors collect the greatest in the most well educated. All I am saying is... enjoy your next doctor visit and pray you do not need an even more educated person to cut you open. Someday real doctors will ask what they barbarians were doing, and sort of chortle darkly about the grotesqueries of our "medical practices". Then again, if it is socialized, he will be saying that as he takes his next narcotic mix to stay awake for his 2nd 24 hour shift in transfiguritive maintenance (what used to be surgery), and checks his McDonald sized income online to make sure he has enough for more "snuff".
Monday, November 2, 2009
Another night of dreaming.
.
.
Though it was difficult to get to sleep I slept well until this morning and the snooze dance. It seemed as though I dreamed the whole night, if nothing remains and they did not wake me. This morning, as the alarm was going off and I was hitting snooze, I remember looking at the clocks or watch and seeing as late as 16:00, so I know I was dream obsessing about the time. I had several dreams between snooze hits, but not every one. Though the phenomenon of not sensing time pass between hitting the snooze button as time did pass occurred again today. I am not tired, though, this morning.
I suspect I will be able to get some decent work completed today. I need to call the ISP service, make a payment on my vehicle, rearrange the utility shed, and pay my utilities and this rent. I think I can get that done too. Today is a better day. Oh, right. I washed all my shirts and then left them all over there. Ha, a nice clean shirt sounds really nice about now! I am hoping that a good hard days work will allow me to regain the edge regarding sleeping at night. I have not lost it, but dips that far off the norm to an already tipsy structure are dangerous to the fragile card game I play.
Well, I had better get off, tinker for a few hours to wake up, then get on the road. I will get this done. Have a great day!
.
Though it was difficult to get to sleep I slept well until this morning and the snooze dance. It seemed as though I dreamed the whole night, if nothing remains and they did not wake me. This morning, as the alarm was going off and I was hitting snooze, I remember looking at the clocks or watch and seeing as late as 16:00, so I know I was dream obsessing about the time. I had several dreams between snooze hits, but not every one. Though the phenomenon of not sensing time pass between hitting the snooze button as time did pass occurred again today. I am not tired, though, this morning.
I suspect I will be able to get some decent work completed today. I need to call the ISP service, make a payment on my vehicle, rearrange the utility shed, and pay my utilities and this rent. I think I can get that done too. Today is a better day. Oh, right. I washed all my shirts and then left them all over there. Ha, a nice clean shirt sounds really nice about now! I am hoping that a good hard days work will allow me to regain the edge regarding sleeping at night. I have not lost it, but dips that far off the norm to an already tipsy structure are dangerous to the fragile card game I play.
Well, I had better get off, tinker for a few hours to wake up, then get on the road. I will get this done. Have a great day!
Trouble sleeping.
.
.
It is the legs. They hurt, terribly, as if I had climbed a mountain. I have not done a thing in days which could have caused this. I think I am still dreaming a bunch and sometimes I get hurt or hurt myself in dreams. I am worried this will mess up my sleep cycle. I have worked so hard to bring that about. Well, we will see. I will try to sleep again, now. At least I have daylight savings time possibly helping me out. This is frustrating.
Sleep well!
.
It is the legs. They hurt, terribly, as if I had climbed a mountain. I have not done a thing in days which could have caused this. I think I am still dreaming a bunch and sometimes I get hurt or hurt myself in dreams. I am worried this will mess up my sleep cycle. I have worked so hard to bring that about. Well, we will see. I will try to sleep again, now. At least I have daylight savings time possibly helping me out. This is frustrating.
Sleep well!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Well, I did it.
.
.
I watched my first football game, or half of it. The Vikings versus the Packers. No, not alone. My former neighbor, Grumpy henceforth, called to remind me to turn my clocks back. So, I asked what he was doing. Football was on the tube, then racing. I told him I needed to get rid of some extra candy and if I could visit and watch. He was happily surprised and said, "Sure, come on over".
It was a good game and my team won. From back when I watched football I have three teams of acquaintance, the Broncos, Steelers, and Vikings. Two were from home states and one was just my pick. I also noticed that in spite of not watching for a long time, I still decried bad calls, chattered at my team when they seemed to fall asleep after half time almost to the point of tossing a 24 to 3 lead to a loss, and other common features of sports viewing. Odd how that came back so quickly.
Oh, it was not a great time or thing, but it was more social than, say, playing a game on the computer. It is a start. As I meet other people, perhaps I will be invited to watch other sports, or can do the same. I will need to get a t.v. guide to know what is playing. I only have the local channels though, so I am probably a bit limited. Still, it is another opportunity. I had thought I would not watch pro-ball, but life is what it is. Either you open the door and take what comes or you keep the door closed, I suppose. So it is, I would guess, if I begin to seriously look for a wife. Up to some point in any case.
Bit by bit, I am finding other ways to sneak out of my cave. I am learning to enter the daylight. And I am starting up some things that have been dormant for a while. All in good time. If my time is short, I will do the best with what I have that I am able. That capacity is growing exponentially here, rather than decreasing where I was though, leaves much room for serious potential. I am not, after all, quite dead yet. If still mostly dead, ala The Prince's Bride. Can I take the bitter pill for true love? What is the option? Ha!
.
I watched my first football game, or half of it. The Vikings versus the Packers. No, not alone. My former neighbor, Grumpy henceforth, called to remind me to turn my clocks back. So, I asked what he was doing. Football was on the tube, then racing. I told him I needed to get rid of some extra candy and if I could visit and watch. He was happily surprised and said, "Sure, come on over".
It was a good game and my team won. From back when I watched football I have three teams of acquaintance, the Broncos, Steelers, and Vikings. Two were from home states and one was just my pick. I also noticed that in spite of not watching for a long time, I still decried bad calls, chattered at my team when they seemed to fall asleep after half time almost to the point of tossing a 24 to 3 lead to a loss, and other common features of sports viewing. Odd how that came back so quickly.
Oh, it was not a great time or thing, but it was more social than, say, playing a game on the computer. It is a start. As I meet other people, perhaps I will be invited to watch other sports, or can do the same. I will need to get a t.v. guide to know what is playing. I only have the local channels though, so I am probably a bit limited. Still, it is another opportunity. I had thought I would not watch pro-ball, but life is what it is. Either you open the door and take what comes or you keep the door closed, I suppose. So it is, I would guess, if I begin to seriously look for a wife. Up to some point in any case.
Bit by bit, I am finding other ways to sneak out of my cave. I am learning to enter the daylight. And I am starting up some things that have been dormant for a while. All in good time. If my time is short, I will do the best with what I have that I am able. That capacity is growing exponentially here, rather than decreasing where I was though, leaves much room for serious potential. I am not, after all, quite dead yet. If still mostly dead, ala The Prince's Bride. Can I take the bitter pill for true love? What is the option? Ha!
Sunday thoughts.
.
.
I was just reading the bible when I remembered one of the points on the list of an atheist, a list which numbered his reasons not to believe. This particular reason regarded the notion that Christians, and other faithful, are subjected to indoctrination and to tactics which are quite possibly beyond conscious consideration. Of course, not only is this probably true, I have some hope that it is true. What I see is failed to be noted is that the author subjects himself to such scrutiny. He does not consider himself a part of or party to just such involvements.
As I said, beyond acknowledging that there are forces, both normative, conscious, unconscious, and what I term as spiritual or religious in nature as they have no physical or psychological basis, playing a part in faithful reverence, I accept, expect, and would be a bit saddened if these did not exist. But I go one step further and suggest that even atheists have these same influences which lead them to what they believe. Unless, of course, they are claiming that being an atheist means that they are better or more fully human. Or that those who believe simply are not human. Nietzsche, among others, believed in various forms of the Superman as well. If this is the case, I think I am dealing with psychosis, not merely a difference of opinion.
That was going on in the background, but a passage caught my attention as well, and as I continued reading, I had the one passage and the previous thought vying for space, weaving into what I was reading, and doing their own things. I can do that with more than that load, though prefer single mind loads usually. It does add to life though, especially when it works.
The passage that caught my imagination was when Jesus was visiting a pharisee's home for dinner. A woman washed His feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, and kissed them continually. It seems when people thought Christ knew these thoughts as if they were spoken (another add to D.C.'s notion, if perhaps perfected). And so Jesus asked which of two servants who were forgiven large and small debts would love their master the more. The pharisee suggested it would be the latter. And so it was with the woman, who most likely the pharisee knew to be a prostitute or some such. She would be, and was, forgiven more than the pharisee, and by her exhibitions of love, she showed what He had led the pharisee to see.
My mind went to the women I have known, in the ways I have known them, and in the state of my mind and grace in which I have known them. I have believed, in loving some of the women I have loved, I have brought them out of deeper sin, namely that of "free love" and into a singular partnership. And, in this love I did forgive them a past of prostitution of sorts. No, that does not mean I am a confessor, I do not claim any rights as a priest, I only notice a secular similarity in action and life. I have to wonder, by that, if some of God and more so Christ, if it is by Jesus we get to the Father, lives in us naturally. Just a thought.
The bible does lead me to thoughts which, in many circumstances, might well be considered anathema to any well instructed parishioner or clergy, from any church. Some might make allowances for the fact of the type of life I was raised to live, as various churches allow for local or even the adaptation of pagan or other rituals into church services. Few would find themselves wholly able to see the simplicity of what Christ was saying to understand that, in some ways, through Him, even if blind to Him, he may still function quite soundly.
How does this all weave, if at all. I lost some of the weave, but this is the part I did not lose, and going back to the atheist... If he should ever ask me what would satisfy me regarding his life given my Catholicity at this point, it would be this. Simply to love, with all his heart, each man and woman he should come in contact with. Not sexual love, not simple love though that is an aspect of it. But a respectful admiration for that being as they love themselves, even or more importantly the people that are difficult to love, or those who do not return love. That is the most important thing. Though I would go on to suggest that if he does not know God, he does know right and wrong. To do the best he can and to have guilt when he knows he has done wrong and to try to amend wrongs were possible and to attempt to not repeat them as well.
There is a place and a hope for even the blind. It is my contention that the church offers a clearer way to heaven than any other form. I contend that the Catholic Church offers a manner of worshiping God which I believe to be most right to my senses. And I do wonder if not worshiping in this manner is risky. But if there is hope, for those who cannot see or will not see, it is as I have said. Will I get stoned in the morning for this? (No work on Sundays for the strongly dogmatic, remember!)
If you differ or agree, do not be afraid to speak up. Who knows, if you have some evidence otherwise, I would gladly look at it. Even if you simply feel differently, you are quite welcome to debate. But my mind weave sort of created this, so I wanted to... share it.
.
I was just reading the bible when I remembered one of the points on the list of an atheist, a list which numbered his reasons not to believe. This particular reason regarded the notion that Christians, and other faithful, are subjected to indoctrination and to tactics which are quite possibly beyond conscious consideration. Of course, not only is this probably true, I have some hope that it is true. What I see is failed to be noted is that the author subjects himself to such scrutiny. He does not consider himself a part of or party to just such involvements.
As I said, beyond acknowledging that there are forces, both normative, conscious, unconscious, and what I term as spiritual or religious in nature as they have no physical or psychological basis, playing a part in faithful reverence, I accept, expect, and would be a bit saddened if these did not exist. But I go one step further and suggest that even atheists have these same influences which lead them to what they believe. Unless, of course, they are claiming that being an atheist means that they are better or more fully human. Or that those who believe simply are not human. Nietzsche, among others, believed in various forms of the Superman as well. If this is the case, I think I am dealing with psychosis, not merely a difference of opinion.
That was going on in the background, but a passage caught my attention as well, and as I continued reading, I had the one passage and the previous thought vying for space, weaving into what I was reading, and doing their own things. I can do that with more than that load, though prefer single mind loads usually. It does add to life though, especially when it works.
The passage that caught my imagination was when Jesus was visiting a pharisee's home for dinner. A woman washed His feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, and kissed them continually. It seems when people thought Christ knew these thoughts as if they were spoken (another add to D.C.'s notion, if perhaps perfected). And so Jesus asked which of two servants who were forgiven large and small debts would love their master the more. The pharisee suggested it would be the latter. And so it was with the woman, who most likely the pharisee knew to be a prostitute or some such. She would be, and was, forgiven more than the pharisee, and by her exhibitions of love, she showed what He had led the pharisee to see.
My mind went to the women I have known, in the ways I have known them, and in the state of my mind and grace in which I have known them. I have believed, in loving some of the women I have loved, I have brought them out of deeper sin, namely that of "free love" and into a singular partnership. And, in this love I did forgive them a past of prostitution of sorts. No, that does not mean I am a confessor, I do not claim any rights as a priest, I only notice a secular similarity in action and life. I have to wonder, by that, if some of God and more so Christ, if it is by Jesus we get to the Father, lives in us naturally. Just a thought.
The bible does lead me to thoughts which, in many circumstances, might well be considered anathema to any well instructed parishioner or clergy, from any church. Some might make allowances for the fact of the type of life I was raised to live, as various churches allow for local or even the adaptation of pagan or other rituals into church services. Few would find themselves wholly able to see the simplicity of what Christ was saying to understand that, in some ways, through Him, even if blind to Him, he may still function quite soundly.
How does this all weave, if at all. I lost some of the weave, but this is the part I did not lose, and going back to the atheist... If he should ever ask me what would satisfy me regarding his life given my Catholicity at this point, it would be this. Simply to love, with all his heart, each man and woman he should come in contact with. Not sexual love, not simple love though that is an aspect of it. But a respectful admiration for that being as they love themselves, even or more importantly the people that are difficult to love, or those who do not return love. That is the most important thing. Though I would go on to suggest that if he does not know God, he does know right and wrong. To do the best he can and to have guilt when he knows he has done wrong and to try to amend wrongs were possible and to attempt to not repeat them as well.
There is a place and a hope for even the blind. It is my contention that the church offers a clearer way to heaven than any other form. I contend that the Catholic Church offers a manner of worshiping God which I believe to be most right to my senses. And I do wonder if not worshiping in this manner is risky. But if there is hope, for those who cannot see or will not see, it is as I have said. Will I get stoned in the morning for this? (No work on Sundays for the strongly dogmatic, remember!)
If you differ or agree, do not be afraid to speak up. Who knows, if you have some evidence otherwise, I would gladly look at it. Even if you simply feel differently, you are quite welcome to debate. But my mind weave sort of created this, so I wanted to... share it.
While waking up, I was thinking.
.
.
On one blog or another, just the other day, I read that listening to the Beatles in this day and age is not cool. No problem. I buy that. Further, listening to anything does not make one "cool". Unless you are in your vehicle driving on a cold night with the windows down and you are susceptible to the cold. Listening to loud music, or what passes for it, does not make you cool. As a fact, nothing can make you cool. If we accept that there is something, other than temperature, given over to the term cool (which itself is a bit dated at this time), and that this term relates to how one is viewed in society, I think we can also go on and say that this nature which relates to the secondary meaning of cool is probably not something one can buy, exhibit consciously, or craft in a genuine manner. To my understanding, people are either cool or they are not cool as a state of existence. Further, any belief in what is cool is as temporary as fashion. And a step further, sometimes to not be cool is cool all by itself. Nothing note worthy, just clearing my own baffles on the notion. How cool was that? Oh, and one more thing, at past 40, I care about being cool about as much as I care about being hip or in fashion. As another abused term goes, eat me. (slow cooked, in spite of the marbling, I am probably rather tough and gamy) *grimace*
I have noted some differences here, both from Iowa and from my native (if wrongheaded) ways. People here are much less into themselves and quite a bit less grandiose in showing their choices or ways. Now, I could debate this, and suggest "This is America, I will do as I wish". But I will not. I moved here to enjoy the good fruits of the social, moral, and legal labors done here, the low crime rate, the idea that freedom comes with responsibility mantra, and the simpler and more real life that this area offers. To that end, it behooves me to take a hint and join the club. That means, for me, it is time to make some personal changes. To that end, my car stereo needs to be turned down. I have done that to some degree, but I noted that at even 12 to 16 on my stereo volume, with the windows up, the sound can be heard plainly outside of my vehicle. I do not hear other stereos often, so I am going to need to experiment and fix that. I used to listen to it as loud as 18 to 22, sometimes even 26, though the system will crank to 30 or more without distortion. Times have changed and I need to begin fitting in. I am also looking at other customs and norms. It really is not about me or what I want.
This, of course, leads me to consider just how much of my life is my own in just such a setting. Am I to completely socialize and just find a complete list of norms and lead my life around that? Do I arbitrarily pick which of those things on the list I wish to abide? As is, as I notice things, I begin to incorporate them, which means I have seen no literal list to date. I have seen disapproval regarding certain choices by certain people. But that is too random to call normal. This one might be Mormon, this one might be a strong Mormon, this one fallen away, that one might be Catholic with the same possibilities as the Mormons, this one might be Jewish or Hindu. These may be the norms of a woman, this one of a man, this one of that age, this one of the new age. No, it is not to be found in individuals, that is a never ending losing game. However, I think there is something to be found as a source.
Just recently, Desert Cat in comments, noted that there seems to be a connection among people. That connection is part of why night people love nights. The theory goes that at night we psychicly 'rub elbows' a lot less frequently. I might even add to that by saying if that is true then maybe those who live nights are more mentally guarded, further lowering the chances of a meeting of the minds. People at night more closely secret their thoughts, whether it is because they are hunters or prey of whatever kind. And, I believe there is something to this. What does this all mean to someone who wishes to join in the day club and become a more full member of the society which exists in it?
It means that there is a list, but it is not written down or otherwise ennumbered. Whether it is seen in the general behavoir patterns or whether it is transmitted to the senses in other ways, the list is available. In a more chaotic "multi-cultural" environment, no single pattern emerges. Here, that is not the case. There is a very strong main channel. It is clear and present. There are variations, certain allowances, and room for individuality. Compared to the chaos of a dozen channels though, it is simple and solid and majority.
I can use this clear channel here. It is a moral channel, a socially positive channel, and a family channel. Not all of it works with my particular situation and who I am, but a large majority of it already does or could do so. I will have to personalize it, though everyone on the channel does. I suppose for me, that is what I felt when I first came here. This reminds me of the Iowa of my youth. This is why I felt like I had stepped back in time. This is a huge small town, "hung up" on living right, working hard, and getting real things done in a timely fashion. Beyond being broken, atm, and being what else I am, I can never fully fit in. I am not capable of joining the herd. But if I trust the herd, I can be much more comfortable in and around it. I have even noted that, if to a lesser degree, there are more like me here. When half the population is wolves, no sheep dog is willing to do too much, the herd must tend itself. Some sheep dogs even turn to warring against the herd, either losing their balance or just giving in to their lusts. But when there are few wolves and a herd which prefers righteousness, sheepdogs again have a place and will fill it and step up. That is this place.
.
On one blog or another, just the other day, I read that listening to the Beatles in this day and age is not cool. No problem. I buy that. Further, listening to anything does not make one "cool". Unless you are in your vehicle driving on a cold night with the windows down and you are susceptible to the cold. Listening to loud music, or what passes for it, does not make you cool. As a fact, nothing can make you cool. If we accept that there is something, other than temperature, given over to the term cool (which itself is a bit dated at this time), and that this term relates to how one is viewed in society, I think we can also go on and say that this nature which relates to the secondary meaning of cool is probably not something one can buy, exhibit consciously, or craft in a genuine manner. To my understanding, people are either cool or they are not cool as a state of existence. Further, any belief in what is cool is as temporary as fashion. And a step further, sometimes to not be cool is cool all by itself. Nothing note worthy, just clearing my own baffles on the notion. How cool was that? Oh, and one more thing, at past 40, I care about being cool about as much as I care about being hip or in fashion. As another abused term goes, eat me. (slow cooked, in spite of the marbling, I am probably rather tough and gamy) *grimace*
I have noted some differences here, both from Iowa and from my native (if wrongheaded) ways. People here are much less into themselves and quite a bit less grandiose in showing their choices or ways. Now, I could debate this, and suggest "This is America, I will do as I wish". But I will not. I moved here to enjoy the good fruits of the social, moral, and legal labors done here, the low crime rate, the idea that freedom comes with responsibility mantra, and the simpler and more real life that this area offers. To that end, it behooves me to take a hint and join the club. That means, for me, it is time to make some personal changes. To that end, my car stereo needs to be turned down. I have done that to some degree, but I noted that at even 12 to 16 on my stereo volume, with the windows up, the sound can be heard plainly outside of my vehicle. I do not hear other stereos often, so I am going to need to experiment and fix that. I used to listen to it as loud as 18 to 22, sometimes even 26, though the system will crank to 30 or more without distortion. Times have changed and I need to begin fitting in. I am also looking at other customs and norms. It really is not about me or what I want.
This, of course, leads me to consider just how much of my life is my own in just such a setting. Am I to completely socialize and just find a complete list of norms and lead my life around that? Do I arbitrarily pick which of those things on the list I wish to abide? As is, as I notice things, I begin to incorporate them, which means I have seen no literal list to date. I have seen disapproval regarding certain choices by certain people. But that is too random to call normal. This one might be Mormon, this one might be a strong Mormon, this one fallen away, that one might be Catholic with the same possibilities as the Mormons, this one might be Jewish or Hindu. These may be the norms of a woman, this one of a man, this one of that age, this one of the new age. No, it is not to be found in individuals, that is a never ending losing game. However, I think there is something to be found as a source.
Just recently, Desert Cat in comments, noted that there seems to be a connection among people. That connection is part of why night people love nights. The theory goes that at night we psychicly 'rub elbows' a lot less frequently. I might even add to that by saying if that is true then maybe those who live nights are more mentally guarded, further lowering the chances of a meeting of the minds. People at night more closely secret their thoughts, whether it is because they are hunters or prey of whatever kind. And, I believe there is something to this. What does this all mean to someone who wishes to join in the day club and become a more full member of the society which exists in it?
It means that there is a list, but it is not written down or otherwise ennumbered. Whether it is seen in the general behavoir patterns or whether it is transmitted to the senses in other ways, the list is available. In a more chaotic "multi-cultural" environment, no single pattern emerges. Here, that is not the case. There is a very strong main channel. It is clear and present. There are variations, certain allowances, and room for individuality. Compared to the chaos of a dozen channels though, it is simple and solid and majority.
I can use this clear channel here. It is a moral channel, a socially positive channel, and a family channel. Not all of it works with my particular situation and who I am, but a large majority of it already does or could do so. I will have to personalize it, though everyone on the channel does. I suppose for me, that is what I felt when I first came here. This reminds me of the Iowa of my youth. This is why I felt like I had stepped back in time. This is a huge small town, "hung up" on living right, working hard, and getting real things done in a timely fashion. Beyond being broken, atm, and being what else I am, I can never fully fit in. I am not capable of joining the herd. But if I trust the herd, I can be much more comfortable in and around it. I have even noted that, if to a lesser degree, there are more like me here. When half the population is wolves, no sheep dog is willing to do too much, the herd must tend itself. Some sheep dogs even turn to warring against the herd, either losing their balance or just giving in to their lusts. But when there are few wolves and a herd which prefers righteousness, sheepdogs again have a place and will fill it and step up. That is this place.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
A little bit.
.
.
I was able to pack a load into the vehicle, but decided to go shooting with my friend first. The Henry is incredibly accurate at this point. I was targeting flattened shotgun shells at 50ft and more, lying on their sides. My only problem was that I could not always find them after I shot them between one and three times. I shot a few of my friend's pistols as well. Oh, and after packing up my 800 rounds of .45, 700 rounds of .22, 100 rounds of AK ammo, and some other ammunition into one smaller box, I realize he must have 10k rounds or more of .45. Who knows how many .38/.357 and 9mm he has. They each fit in separate boxes that were 3 to 4 times as big as the box I put my ammo in. Oh, his sister has invited us to Thanksgiving dinner! How nice! He is such a cuss sometimes, he said he might not be able to make it if there were no mashed potatoes. hehe
We stopped at the grocery store on the way home, so I bought candy. Enough for a small army of kids. Then went the new place to wait. I might have gotten there and turned on the light too late, though it may be the cul-de-sac which limited the number of kids. I did see some, and enjoyed. No one cried this year, but a few just stood their and stared for... a long time. Yeah, okay, kids are cute. Shut up.
I unpacked the load I had, took some groceries in, and watched some Hallowe'en stuff, Vincent Price, you should know. I thought about reading, but that is difficult while trying to be ready to answer the door, so t.v. it was. They left their t.v. and it is hooked to a cable box and antenna. I will not be watching it much. Though I am thinking about trying to get into football a bit, if I can stomach it. Not pro-football, not after Rush, but college football. Merely to sort of be social. It has something to do with what Confucius said, going to the temple and all, as a non-believer, for social comportment. Give or take. I some times think I make this stuff up, but then, so did he. Ha!
It is about time to goof and then sleep. I hope your Hallowe'en was fun, social, scary, or... something. Sleep well, and if you should have scary dreams, I hope you may enjoy them for that. Good night!
.
I was able to pack a load into the vehicle, but decided to go shooting with my friend first. The Henry is incredibly accurate at this point. I was targeting flattened shotgun shells at 50ft and more, lying on their sides. My only problem was that I could not always find them after I shot them between one and three times. I shot a few of my friend's pistols as well. Oh, and after packing up my 800 rounds of .45, 700 rounds of .22, 100 rounds of AK ammo, and some other ammunition into one smaller box, I realize he must have 10k rounds or more of .45. Who knows how many .38/.357 and 9mm he has. They each fit in separate boxes that were 3 to 4 times as big as the box I put my ammo in. Oh, his sister has invited us to Thanksgiving dinner! How nice! He is such a cuss sometimes, he said he might not be able to make it if there were no mashed potatoes. hehe
We stopped at the grocery store on the way home, so I bought candy. Enough for a small army of kids. Then went the new place to wait. I might have gotten there and turned on the light too late, though it may be the cul-de-sac which limited the number of kids. I did see some, and enjoyed. No one cried this year, but a few just stood their and stared for... a long time. Yeah, okay, kids are cute. Shut up.
I unpacked the load I had, took some groceries in, and watched some Hallowe'en stuff, Vincent Price, you should know. I thought about reading, but that is difficult while trying to be ready to answer the door, so t.v. it was. They left their t.v. and it is hooked to a cable box and antenna. I will not be watching it much. Though I am thinking about trying to get into football a bit, if I can stomach it. Not pro-football, not after Rush, but college football. Merely to sort of be social. It has something to do with what Confucius said, going to the temple and all, as a non-believer, for social comportment. Give or take. I some times think I make this stuff up, but then, so did he. Ha!
It is about time to goof and then sleep. I hope your Hallowe'en was fun, social, scary, or... something. Sleep well, and if you should have scary dreams, I hope you may enjoy them for that. Good night!
Nearly 13:00 and all is well if nothing was done.
.
.
Okay, I have just enough time to shower and take a load over. But I have been dawdling. The afternoon seems to be my better production time. Though if the world was functional at night (think classes), I would leave days to the living dead... or, other living dead. Ha! Zombies. :P
Seriously though, night has an elegance and quiet that the sun cannot produce. Fat, skinny, ugly, bold, whatever, it does not matter at night. Though darkness cures nothing, it merely cloaks one a bit and allows minor or major flaws to be less visible. It also works to weaken and minimize any artificial strengths, such as beauty or charm. It acts as an brutal equalizer of sorts. Further, my eyes work better at night than most people, far better. I sense and see. There is more, including the fact that I am simply somehow more comfortable at night. People seem to be less rushed, more careful, and speak more gently, if often more wickedly. If night may attract evil, it is holy in some ways too. To my knowledge, I have always preferred the night, and for the most part understood these things.
Some people are drawn to the night for nefarious reasons. I am not among these. Yet I maintain a presence which keeps me safer at night, even among some of the worst sorts. I have been told I give off the essence of a dead knight or something. You know how some of these people speak. The woman went on to say I seem to present absolute naivete, perhaps innocence, somehow wrapped in the strength or nature to create horror even to the terrible. I am not certain I completely follow, or know where she was coming from. But I do like the notion so far as I understand it. And, I would guess she is correct, if she did not know why. I know why, if I understood the simple form of the notion, and am finally completely comfortable with it.
Still, real life is for the daytime. And, to that end, I have been working hard this summer and fall and then on into winter as that begins by weather if not by strict date. My nighttime nature is not so well established during the day, the dread of night and the mystery of dark does not offer the viewers mind or my appearance or actions the extensions necessary, and yet some of it remains to those who are on their toes. Some still see, the criminal type see it very plainly all of the time, I am a real danger to them. It is not my size, it is my awareness, intent, and nature somehow, that bothers them. Though that is not necessary to me. Getting into college, learning a real profession, and being a part of society is what I seek. I am secure enough in my faith and myself through faith and fist, that I do not need enhancements. I am hoping, if all works out, that this aspect will just be an accepted part of me in a larger community. Perhaps even an appreciated aspect to those who are relatively right minded but weak of flesh.
So, days it is. After fumbling over heat, medicine, contractions from running out of medicine, the initial cold, and then the darkening days, I am finally back to days. For the last two weeks, the latest I have awaken is 10:20, though under very unusual circumstances. Other than that, 9:00 is the latest on two days, 8:00 on another two or three days, and 7:20 or early the rest of the time. Becoming used to days again is sort of like learning to ride a bike after not having done so for years or longer. I know how to manipulate the night, to craft it and me in it, to some level of surety. Days... Cats sleep days because their senses and other abilities are hindered by them. To some degree, I am with them. Still, my stay here in Utah has given me great hope at turning this around. Even with the stumbles, and short falls, I have been able to get up and go at it again and quickly.
Perhaps I have a chance at leaving the fictions and notions of considerations of the lost and folding my night cloak away for good or for some time where it might be needed again. So I will fold it with a bit of respect, proper ghosty moth balls, and a surety that it will be there if needed or wanted again. Well, that is as Hallowe'en as I get. Boo!
.
Okay, I have just enough time to shower and take a load over. But I have been dawdling. The afternoon seems to be my better production time. Though if the world was functional at night (think classes), I would leave days to the living dead... or, other living dead. Ha! Zombies. :P
Seriously though, night has an elegance and quiet that the sun cannot produce. Fat, skinny, ugly, bold, whatever, it does not matter at night. Though darkness cures nothing, it merely cloaks one a bit and allows minor or major flaws to be less visible. It also works to weaken and minimize any artificial strengths, such as beauty or charm. It acts as an brutal equalizer of sorts. Further, my eyes work better at night than most people, far better. I sense and see. There is more, including the fact that I am simply somehow more comfortable at night. People seem to be less rushed, more careful, and speak more gently, if often more wickedly. If night may attract evil, it is holy in some ways too. To my knowledge, I have always preferred the night, and for the most part understood these things.
Some people are drawn to the night for nefarious reasons. I am not among these. Yet I maintain a presence which keeps me safer at night, even among some of the worst sorts. I have been told I give off the essence of a dead knight or something. You know how some of these people speak. The woman went on to say I seem to present absolute naivete, perhaps innocence, somehow wrapped in the strength or nature to create horror even to the terrible. I am not certain I completely follow, or know where she was coming from. But I do like the notion so far as I understand it. And, I would guess she is correct, if she did not know why. I know why, if I understood the simple form of the notion, and am finally completely comfortable with it.
Still, real life is for the daytime. And, to that end, I have been working hard this summer and fall and then on into winter as that begins by weather if not by strict date. My nighttime nature is not so well established during the day, the dread of night and the mystery of dark does not offer the viewers mind or my appearance or actions the extensions necessary, and yet some of it remains to those who are on their toes. Some still see, the criminal type see it very plainly all of the time, I am a real danger to them. It is not my size, it is my awareness, intent, and nature somehow, that bothers them. Though that is not necessary to me. Getting into college, learning a real profession, and being a part of society is what I seek. I am secure enough in my faith and myself through faith and fist, that I do not need enhancements. I am hoping, if all works out, that this aspect will just be an accepted part of me in a larger community. Perhaps even an appreciated aspect to those who are relatively right minded but weak of flesh.
So, days it is. After fumbling over heat, medicine, contractions from running out of medicine, the initial cold, and then the darkening days, I am finally back to days. For the last two weeks, the latest I have awaken is 10:20, though under very unusual circumstances. Other than that, 9:00 is the latest on two days, 8:00 on another two or three days, and 7:20 or early the rest of the time. Becoming used to days again is sort of like learning to ride a bike after not having done so for years or longer. I know how to manipulate the night, to craft it and me in it, to some level of surety. Days... Cats sleep days because their senses and other abilities are hindered by them. To some degree, I am with them. Still, my stay here in Utah has given me great hope at turning this around. Even with the stumbles, and short falls, I have been able to get up and go at it again and quickly.
Perhaps I have a chance at leaving the fictions and notions of considerations of the lost and folding my night cloak away for good or for some time where it might be needed again. So I will fold it with a bit of respect, proper ghosty moth balls, and a surety that it will be there if needed or wanted again. Well, that is as Hallowe'en as I get. Boo!
Awake.
.
.
Still dreaming though. Last night was another dream-fest. I do not remember, precisely, how many dreams I had and I remember none of them well enough to document here. It felt as if I dreamed pretty much all night though, if none of them woke me. At least I am not too tired this morning, just the normal waking up thing. And, I do want to wake up and get another load or two over, as my ex-neighbor suggested we go shooting today around 13:00, though I suggested more like 14:00. I am sort of curious if he will call at 13:00 anyway. He has his own mind and it works his own way. Well, okay, who does not? Ha!
A few things, spots, and pieces at a time, the apartment is coming down and the move is coming together. It may be dry enough later this evening or tomorrow to do some straightening in the storage unit. I would like to move most of the boxes out and fit the weight equipment in back, along with the dismantled weight bench and setup device. Hmm, might take the set up device to the new place though... That would make things a lot easier... Bother, I will figure it out.
There are a bunch of things I would like to buy this month, but I will be holding off greatly until I sort out my financial dealings. But with nothing ending up as it should, I simply can never be certain where I am. I feel like one of those punching bags. Until things get much more sorted, I am walking on a financial frozen lake, with a little water on top. That is how it feels anyway. It is, mostly, doable, if a little uncomfortable and risky to be certain. The 'shore' is just... over... careful!... there...
.
Still dreaming though. Last night was another dream-fest. I do not remember, precisely, how many dreams I had and I remember none of them well enough to document here. It felt as if I dreamed pretty much all night though, if none of them woke me. At least I am not too tired this morning, just the normal waking up thing. And, I do want to wake up and get another load or two over, as my ex-neighbor suggested we go shooting today around 13:00, though I suggested more like 14:00. I am sort of curious if he will call at 13:00 anyway. He has his own mind and it works his own way. Well, okay, who does not? Ha!
A few things, spots, and pieces at a time, the apartment is coming down and the move is coming together. It may be dry enough later this evening or tomorrow to do some straightening in the storage unit. I would like to move most of the boxes out and fit the weight equipment in back, along with the dismantled weight bench and setup device. Hmm, might take the set up device to the new place though... That would make things a lot easier... Bother, I will figure it out.
There are a bunch of things I would like to buy this month, but I will be holding off greatly until I sort out my financial dealings. But with nothing ending up as it should, I simply can never be certain where I am. I feel like one of those punching bags. Until things get much more sorted, I am walking on a financial frozen lake, with a little water on top. That is how it feels anyway. It is, mostly, doable, if a little uncomfortable and risky to be certain. The 'shore' is just... over... careful!... there...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Almost an oops.
.
.
After putting the final load in the dryer and coming back to the apartment to begin sorting, tossing, and maybe loading, I figured I was finished with the new place. I did do some sorting, tossing, and loading, and so decided to take a load over. It is a very good thing I did. The dryer is a gas dryer, and a little older. On the first load I set it to auto-dry, more. And it worked fine, so that when I checked on it, the machine had stopped and the clothes were simply dry. This last load I did the same thing, only it did not stop. If I had not gone over to check on it, there might have been a problem, a big problem. Now I know.
Bit by bit, everything is coming together for the move. I will not be able to get call utilities until Monday, though there are few moving in at this time of year so perhaps they can have someone over there sooner than a week or two. Having internet would facilitate a quicker complete move. Yes, I am addicted. *clickety-clack clickety-clack* *bonk* Well, maybe not as bad as I have been. Those games used to Pwn me, too. Now I only play one, and then only a few hours a day at most, and not even consecutive hours usually. But blogging and sometimes research can eat vast amounts of my time if I am not careful. That is, of course, if I can awaken enough to focus on longer posts, or more in-depth posts. Damned if I do and, damned if I... huh? Never mind.
.
After putting the final load in the dryer and coming back to the apartment to begin sorting, tossing, and maybe loading, I figured I was finished with the new place. I did do some sorting, tossing, and loading, and so decided to take a load over. It is a very good thing I did. The dryer is a gas dryer, and a little older. On the first load I set it to auto-dry, more. And it worked fine, so that when I checked on it, the machine had stopped and the clothes were simply dry. This last load I did the same thing, only it did not stop. If I had not gone over to check on it, there might have been a problem, a big problem. Now I know.
Bit by bit, everything is coming together for the move. I will not be able to get call utilities until Monday, though there are few moving in at this time of year so perhaps they can have someone over there sooner than a week or two. Having internet would facilitate a quicker complete move. Yes, I am addicted. *clickety-clack clickety-clack* *bonk* Well, maybe not as bad as I have been. Those games used to Pwn me, too. Now I only play one, and then only a few hours a day at most, and not even consecutive hours usually. But blogging and sometimes research can eat vast amounts of my time if I am not careful. That is, of course, if I can awaken enough to focus on longer posts, or more in-depth posts. Damned if I do and, damned if I... huh? Never mind.
I am in.
.
.
My second load of laundry is going. While I was doing that, I did a private tour of the house. If I needed storage, it would be there. I really like the design of the house. It might be tight with more than a wife and two children. At four children a new place would be a must. But for a bachelor or the couple who owns it, it is very nicely sized. One might even call it a castle, with little hideouts, nooks here and there, and an interesting number of comfortable places to settle. I also read what the husband wrote regarding why he does not believe. I was hoping for something unique. It is the standard line, which is fine.
My money is in, but in the old bank. I am going to make some calls Monday and find out what is happening with this. I received a notice from the social security administration that my new address has been noted and that I only need to respond if the data is incorrect. Well, it is now, but that will take time to correct. They know, from my change of bank attempt, where I live and where I bank. I have heard nothing from the V.A., though I am in the V.A. system here, which means nothing regarding where my check goes. Foolishness, how many forms must I fill out and how long does it really take? Oh, I should write return to sender on the medicine and send it back too. That, at least, was only a month and a half late, if simply too late at that.
It looks like they have all the cooking essentials, and eating essentials, though I will take my 8 quart and cast iron pan. I will get a screen for the pan though. I simply had no place to conveniently store it in this apartment. There was simply no room. Seriously shorted on storage and simply any type of kitchen space made even attempting to sort things out well here difficult. To that end, I will go shopping this evening. I still have two big packages of venison in the freezer. But I like to spread those out, they are precious and few. My former neighbor's sister did indicate that should I wish for more, especially since hunting season was coming up, to let her know! I think she was pleased to be rid of it. If her men did well, getting both an elk and a deer, I might be in for some nice vitals. Still, I like my fattened meats too.
It is all business right now. I hope to have most things out by Saturday, so that I can vacuum and then clean the carpet, and some last bits of work. Oh, calling utilities about transferring the internet service. And, that may mean some phone line work. Who knows. Well, I best get back to it, whatever it is I am doing. Phone call first! I need to put a stop on a bank thing.
.
My second load of laundry is going. While I was doing that, I did a private tour of the house. If I needed storage, it would be there. I really like the design of the house. It might be tight with more than a wife and two children. At four children a new place would be a must. But for a bachelor or the couple who owns it, it is very nicely sized. One might even call it a castle, with little hideouts, nooks here and there, and an interesting number of comfortable places to settle. I also read what the husband wrote regarding why he does not believe. I was hoping for something unique. It is the standard line, which is fine.
My money is in, but in the old bank. I am going to make some calls Monday and find out what is happening with this. I received a notice from the social security administration that my new address has been noted and that I only need to respond if the data is incorrect. Well, it is now, but that will take time to correct. They know, from my change of bank attempt, where I live and where I bank. I have heard nothing from the V.A., though I am in the V.A. system here, which means nothing regarding where my check goes. Foolishness, how many forms must I fill out and how long does it really take? Oh, I should write return to sender on the medicine and send it back too. That, at least, was only a month and a half late, if simply too late at that.
It looks like they have all the cooking essentials, and eating essentials, though I will take my 8 quart and cast iron pan. I will get a screen for the pan though. I simply had no place to conveniently store it in this apartment. There was simply no room. Seriously shorted on storage and simply any type of kitchen space made even attempting to sort things out well here difficult. To that end, I will go shopping this evening. I still have two big packages of venison in the freezer. But I like to spread those out, they are precious and few. My former neighbor's sister did indicate that should I wish for more, especially since hunting season was coming up, to let her know! I think she was pleased to be rid of it. If her men did well, getting both an elk and a deer, I might be in for some nice vitals. Still, I like my fattened meats too.
It is all business right now. I hope to have most things out by Saturday, so that I can vacuum and then clean the carpet, and some last bits of work. Oh, calling utilities about transferring the internet service. And, that may mean some phone line work. Who knows. Well, I best get back to it, whatever it is I am doing. Phone call first! I need to put a stop on a bank thing.
A better sleep.
.
.
I do remember dreaming again last night, but only three times and nothing major. Two of them involved talking to someone at the VA regarding things I have already written here. I cannot remember the third one, or even those first two, in much detail. None of them woke me and I was able to get out of bed ahead of the alarm clock, I think? I might have set it at 8:00. No matter.
Here I am at nearly noon, but I am ready to begin moving a few things over after a quick shower. I notice that when I do not eat meat my teeth feel grungy all the time. Meat seems to be good for me however I get it. I have been eating beans and rice a goodly bit. Pretty much just as is. Reheating it in a pan, with milk, really enriches it. Adding butter to it when it is finished also adds a good little bit of flavor. Though I have found that merely heating it with water and salting works quite well too. I will probably get cheese and add that in from time to time. Yes, I know, things that simply will not be available in a worst case scenario (unless one has cattle, or... goats). Then again, I am not absolutely sure one can fully plan for a worst case scenario. Actually, is the worst case scenario not the one in which you die a needless and useless death anyway, no matter the cause? hehe Just saying. Though if that is true, being good with God is about as good as it gets.
Moving today, laundry while I am at it, getting rid of things that I do not need, should have been tossed long ago, or which I no longer need, and finding out if they mind if I leave the microwave and a few other useful household goods. Some people truly have nothing when they move in. I should see if my money has arrived as well, just to know. I looked over my bank statement last night, but I was so tired it did not really make sense. I need to get a pen and paper and look things over. It would be nice to figure out what I need to cook in the new place too, and then hit the store if the money is in, and I have what I need. Beans and rice are fine, t.v. dinners can scratch an itch or fill a void, but I do like to cook two or three times a week, and with meats anyway, have some leftovers. Meat equals good, veggies are a rough tenth on my need scale, right behind seriously looking at mansions or expensive European cars to buy I think. Well, so I am still 10 years old this way perhaps. And I do try to put something green or red or such on a plate a few times a week.
I also received an information and request for information form for college through the USU's VA Voc. Rehab lady. I will have to sit down with that as well and figure out what is going on with that, who I need to speak with, and where I need to go to locate that person or those people. I had meant to have this done at this point, to some degree. I think I was holding my breath about when I was going to get to move in, if this apartment would be rented, and a few other things. When a bunch of large 'maybes' hit me all at once, I seem to freeze. Probably for too long of a period. I guess I can only take just so much drama and then I need quiet.
Well, time to get at it. Perhaps a little bit to feed my needs first, and then into the shower, some clothes, and out the doorway. What an odd little dream I live. Is any of it really real? Would I be able to tell, and if I could and the answer was negative... what, precisely, would I do about it. Nothing beats stalling like procrastination!
Have a great day!
.
I do remember dreaming again last night, but only three times and nothing major. Two of them involved talking to someone at the VA regarding things I have already written here. I cannot remember the third one, or even those first two, in much detail. None of them woke me and I was able to get out of bed ahead of the alarm clock, I think? I might have set it at 8:00. No matter.
Here I am at nearly noon, but I am ready to begin moving a few things over after a quick shower. I notice that when I do not eat meat my teeth feel grungy all the time. Meat seems to be good for me however I get it. I have been eating beans and rice a goodly bit. Pretty much just as is. Reheating it in a pan, with milk, really enriches it. Adding butter to it when it is finished also adds a good little bit of flavor. Though I have found that merely heating it with water and salting works quite well too. I will probably get cheese and add that in from time to time. Yes, I know, things that simply will not be available in a worst case scenario (unless one has cattle, or... goats). Then again, I am not absolutely sure one can fully plan for a worst case scenario. Actually, is the worst case scenario not the one in which you die a needless and useless death anyway, no matter the cause? hehe Just saying. Though if that is true, being good with God is about as good as it gets.
Moving today, laundry while I am at it, getting rid of things that I do not need, should have been tossed long ago, or which I no longer need, and finding out if they mind if I leave the microwave and a few other useful household goods. Some people truly have nothing when they move in. I should see if my money has arrived as well, just to know. I looked over my bank statement last night, but I was so tired it did not really make sense. I need to get a pen and paper and look things over. It would be nice to figure out what I need to cook in the new place too, and then hit the store if the money is in, and I have what I need. Beans and rice are fine, t.v. dinners can scratch an itch or fill a void, but I do like to cook two or three times a week, and with meats anyway, have some leftovers. Meat equals good, veggies are a rough tenth on my need scale, right behind seriously looking at mansions or expensive European cars to buy I think. Well, so I am still 10 years old this way perhaps. And I do try to put something green or red or such on a plate a few times a week.
I also received an information and request for information form for college through the USU's VA Voc. Rehab lady. I will have to sit down with that as well and figure out what is going on with that, who I need to speak with, and where I need to go to locate that person or those people. I had meant to have this done at this point, to some degree. I think I was holding my breath about when I was going to get to move in, if this apartment would be rented, and a few other things. When a bunch of large 'maybes' hit me all at once, I seem to freeze. Probably for too long of a period. I guess I can only take just so much drama and then I need quiet.
Well, time to get at it. Perhaps a little bit to feed my needs first, and then into the shower, some clothes, and out the doorway. What an odd little dream I live. Is any of it really real? Would I be able to tell, and if I could and the answer was negative... what, precisely, would I do about it. Nothing beats stalling like procrastination!
Have a great day!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Alright, here it goes.
.
.
I have a dilemma. I always get snickers bars, big ones when I can afford them, little ones when I cannot (like this year). But I think I am going to add mini M&Ms to the pot this year. Now, for me, I really like the peanut M&Ms. What do you all think I should get, all regular, all peanut, or a mix and let them choose? Money is tight, so think of it that way. I figure I can get 6 bags of candy.
I did very little today. I did get over the absolute exhaustion but I never quite made it to any sort of reasonable functioning capacity. That was epic dreaming, even for me. At least none of them were the dreams that seem to last for days, weeks, or even years I think. A few might have been physical, which does tire me the next day, though I think it was the sheer volume of dreams that wore me out.
I hope to be in shape tomorrow to get serious about packing things over to the new place and doing laundry between trips. I do not leave things in the washer overnight, on purpose. So a little planning or even setting some time just for laundry would be wise. Some things are bound for the trash. Some things I will ask if I can leave, such as the (small enough to fit but very weak) microwave, a coffee pot, and maybe some pots and pans if there are some in the new kitchen (and if I like the cookware, yet the set is not so good I would be afraid to use them).
Hmm, I might actually get paid tomorrow. I will have to see how things settle out before doing too much. I do need to find a Best Buy and get my new computer in. It should still be under warranty. Though I best call. They might just tell me I have to send it in. The one unusual and big expense is paying for the last bit of the cabin rental, oh and whatever fees might be associated with switching the internet to the new place (though that will most likely simply be put on the December bill). Still, I am waiting for my bank statement to come in. I would like to figure out how I messed up so badly.
Well, off for dinner and then a bit of goofing before I go to bed. I did no reading last night for the first time in... a long time. Though I doubt if that had anything to do with it. I think it was that funky feeling I had yesterday morning that created the dreaming thing. Just in case though, I will bring my book in from the laundry basket and read a little bit from the bible as well. Time to relax. I hope you can too. Good night.
.
I have a dilemma. I always get snickers bars, big ones when I can afford them, little ones when I cannot (like this year). But I think I am going to add mini M&Ms to the pot this year. Now, for me, I really like the peanut M&Ms. What do you all think I should get, all regular, all peanut, or a mix and let them choose? Money is tight, so think of it that way. I figure I can get 6 bags of candy.
I did very little today. I did get over the absolute exhaustion but I never quite made it to any sort of reasonable functioning capacity. That was epic dreaming, even for me. At least none of them were the dreams that seem to last for days, weeks, or even years I think. A few might have been physical, which does tire me the next day, though I think it was the sheer volume of dreams that wore me out.
I hope to be in shape tomorrow to get serious about packing things over to the new place and doing laundry between trips. I do not leave things in the washer overnight, on purpose. So a little planning or even setting some time just for laundry would be wise. Some things are bound for the trash. Some things I will ask if I can leave, such as the (small enough to fit but very weak) microwave, a coffee pot, and maybe some pots and pans if there are some in the new kitchen (and if I like the cookware, yet the set is not so good I would be afraid to use them).
Hmm, I might actually get paid tomorrow. I will have to see how things settle out before doing too much. I do need to find a Best Buy and get my new computer in. It should still be under warranty. Though I best call. They might just tell me I have to send it in. The one unusual and big expense is paying for the last bit of the cabin rental, oh and whatever fees might be associated with switching the internet to the new place (though that will most likely simply be put on the December bill). Still, I am waiting for my bank statement to come in. I would like to figure out how I messed up so badly.
Well, off for dinner and then a bit of goofing before I go to bed. I did no reading last night for the first time in... a long time. Though I doubt if that had anything to do with it. I think it was that funky feeling I had yesterday morning that created the dreaming thing. Just in case though, I will bring my book in from the laundry basket and read a little bit from the bible as well. Time to relax. I hope you can too. Good night.
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