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I have no misunderstanding, at this time, what love is. What it isn't. It isn't a magic pill that makes it all good. It's a lot of work. In many ways it is a pain in the assessments. I had half hoped Father would lift the command, shut off the... needs, wants. I am not sure if He won't... or if when He makes some things He makes them so well that they can't be undone. So, there it is. The want, need, for love remains, as strong as ever. Tempered, perhaps. Wizened, I should hope. With specific goals, understanding of limits, fresh though, like spring.
My understandings do not come from the minds of others alone. I have seen much, done much. Seeing, touching, feeling... smelling. I haven't hunted mates. They are the hunters. You merely make yourself their prey item, let them vie. Titrate that into, in my experience, action. Then in the past moving on was elemental. To be caught without anyone knowing then to undo even that little bit. Why? I don't know. I suppose it is what I was taught. I learned well.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Saturday, is it?
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Yesterday I thought it was Saturday, today I was thinking it was Friday. I'm pulling a Merlin. Not the first time, won't be the last. Didn't you know? He lived backwards in time. He remembered the future as most do the past, but couldn't remember the past. The present, to a degree, baffles us all regardless of which side of the timeline we approach it. Not the point.
I did make it to town. My friend was not up to even having me drop in, so we have set that up for Monday, give or take, and depending. He's already on the prayer list, so... Then again, he is on permanent rotation in there. Damn sickly kids! *grins* Yeah? Takes one to know one? Shut it. Damned smarty pants kids. Gah! Quit that already, yeah, I know.
Groceries were bought. Soda was on sale and in stock, so I got what I will need for months, possibly three months. Soda isn't as good as coffee, but it is quick. It doesn't offer the zing of coffee either. But it is quick. And the Splenda coke, all soda really, tastes pretty bad, even Mexican pure sugar. But it IS quick. Milk, hotdogs and buns as I have canned chili and if I could get to it home made chili to add, a few beef hearts for the freezer or maybe one for that and one for the pressure cooker, sour cream, butter, lots of stuff. I avoided potato chips, candy, and most other treats, save some chocolate syrup for chocolate milk. Nine out of ten ain't bad.
I also stopped in to see if .22 bullets were available, as a last stop. The store I stopped didn't have them. I think my friend simply got lucky and was there when they were in, before they were bought to extinction again. There are other stores but I was done. I may have to check online, but sending them now is almost a federal offense, so that is a particularly expensive way to go. Ugh. I just want 6k! I would take 400-1,200, if I could lay into them though. On the way out of town I went through drive through. A hot meal is quite nice, I must admit. It has been a while. Even waiting to eat it until I got home and... gone in moments. It did fill me up though. Glad I didn't order more, as my stomach had suggested. Father knows best, little guy. Heh.
It was good to get out. It is good to be back. But I best get the groceries in. Yeah, I... was famished. Then I had to... let that settle just a bit. Later.
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Yesterday I thought it was Saturday, today I was thinking it was Friday. I'm pulling a Merlin. Not the first time, won't be the last. Didn't you know? He lived backwards in time. He remembered the future as most do the past, but couldn't remember the past. The present, to a degree, baffles us all regardless of which side of the timeline we approach it. Not the point.
I did make it to town. My friend was not up to even having me drop in, so we have set that up for Monday, give or take, and depending. He's already on the prayer list, so... Then again, he is on permanent rotation in there. Damn sickly kids! *grins* Yeah? Takes one to know one? Shut it. Damned smarty pants kids. Gah! Quit that already, yeah, I know.
Groceries were bought. Soda was on sale and in stock, so I got what I will need for months, possibly three months. Soda isn't as good as coffee, but it is quick. It doesn't offer the zing of coffee either. But it is quick. And the Splenda coke, all soda really, tastes pretty bad, even Mexican pure sugar. But it IS quick. Milk, hotdogs and buns as I have canned chili and if I could get to it home made chili to add, a few beef hearts for the freezer or maybe one for that and one for the pressure cooker, sour cream, butter, lots of stuff. I avoided potato chips, candy, and most other treats, save some chocolate syrup for chocolate milk. Nine out of ten ain't bad.
I also stopped in to see if .22 bullets were available, as a last stop. The store I stopped didn't have them. I think my friend simply got lucky and was there when they were in, before they were bought to extinction again. There are other stores but I was done. I may have to check online, but sending them now is almost a federal offense, so that is a particularly expensive way to go. Ugh. I just want 6k! I would take 400-1,200, if I could lay into them though. On the way out of town I went through drive through. A hot meal is quite nice, I must admit. It has been a while. Even waiting to eat it until I got home and... gone in moments. It did fill me up though. Glad I didn't order more, as my stomach had suggested. Father knows best, little guy. Heh.
It was good to get out. It is good to be back. But I best get the groceries in. Yeah, I... was famished. Then I had to... let that settle just a bit. Later.
You can tell it is fall.
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Beside the change in weather, there seems to be a slow down as seasons change, at least in the blogosphere. My guess is most bloggers, any more, are my age, plus or minus 15. The rest seem to have gone to facebook, twitter, and just texting. Actually many bloggers have gone that way as well, even in my age group. Some come back, the frantic nature of those others seems to drive them away eventually. So, in that age bracket, between ill health exacerbated by the change of seasons and the health issues brought about by changing seasons on their own accord, blogging tapers off, heavily, as soon as a new season hits. Summer has it's own thing, though. People get out, go, do, or are busy planning events. Well, toss in gardening as well. Yes, a new, and colder, season is here. The older we get, the stronger the effects, the longer the stall. Another decade or two, and there is still blogging and the set I know stick with it, and... some will start to fade away, year by year, season by season.
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Beside the change in weather, there seems to be a slow down as seasons change, at least in the blogosphere. My guess is most bloggers, any more, are my age, plus or minus 15. The rest seem to have gone to facebook, twitter, and just texting. Actually many bloggers have gone that way as well, even in my age group. Some come back, the frantic nature of those others seems to drive them away eventually. So, in that age bracket, between ill health exacerbated by the change of seasons and the health issues brought about by changing seasons on their own accord, blogging tapers off, heavily, as soon as a new season hits. Summer has it's own thing, though. People get out, go, do, or are busy planning events. Well, toss in gardening as well. Yes, a new, and colder, season is here. The older we get, the stronger the effects, the longer the stall. Another decade or two, and there is still blogging and the set I know stick with it, and... some will start to fade away, year by year, season by season.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Maybe not.
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Sure, a shower. Yes, I got dressed more formally. No, I didn't do another thing. Cloudy, cool, perhaps. Done, for the day. I'll probably almost make it to 17:00, by posting. Other than that it's been a remarkably drab day. I simply could not get going. I am glad my friend canceled. I hope tomorrow is better. Still, I will call and see if he is doing better as well. Sometimes rest is best, more for him since he has some sort of bug or other.
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Sure, a shower. Yes, I got dressed more formally. No, I didn't do another thing. Cloudy, cool, perhaps. Done, for the day. I'll probably almost make it to 17:00, by posting. Other than that it's been a remarkably drab day. I simply could not get going. I am glad my friend canceled. I hope tomorrow is better. Still, I will call and see if he is doing better as well. Sometimes rest is best, more for him since he has some sort of bug or other.
Just a piece of my mind.
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First thing, though, my pegboard and bench kit are in. I'm not quite up to those, and won't be for a while. But I will stow them for when I can do more. What I can do needs to be home centered, and... well... we will see. I have about two weeks before I will simply go on medicines with things as they are. Time sure flies when you make a promise, set a goal, etc. Ugh... two weeks you say? Yes, two weeks.
I received a call, about a year ago, to sign up for an online cooking mag. I did love the mag, but there were billing problems. They would call and say my script was dead, so I would reup, then they would send two magazines at once. So I went to online. I lost track of them through my moves and computer deaths. So it was good to get going on that. The problem? I never received access information. So, when they asked me to re-up, I was able to put it all together, track them down, and give them a piece of my mind. While I kept it rather diplomatic, the sum was to get stuffed. I doubt I will hear a thing back from them. I am sure they have farmed out their billing, and it is their billing that will get the message. The message will most likely die right there. Oh... so sad.
I am ready to get to town. I do believe I will only buy a lunch, of some sort, then head back home. Hmm, might buy cabbage, carrots, milk, butter, and perhaps whole whipping cream though. Perhaps I should check the potatoes though too. Those can go bad awfully fast. I swear they have gone from spraying things with pesticides to pest attractants! Didn't they used to cold storage store potatoes for months, the whole winter really? Never mind, just grumbling.
Later.
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First thing, though, my pegboard and bench kit are in. I'm not quite up to those, and won't be for a while. But I will stow them for when I can do more. What I can do needs to be home centered, and... well... we will see. I have about two weeks before I will simply go on medicines with things as they are. Time sure flies when you make a promise, set a goal, etc. Ugh... two weeks you say? Yes, two weeks.
I received a call, about a year ago, to sign up for an online cooking mag. I did love the mag, but there were billing problems. They would call and say my script was dead, so I would reup, then they would send two magazines at once. So I went to online. I lost track of them through my moves and computer deaths. So it was good to get going on that. The problem? I never received access information. So, when they asked me to re-up, I was able to put it all together, track them down, and give them a piece of my mind. While I kept it rather diplomatic, the sum was to get stuffed. I doubt I will hear a thing back from them. I am sure they have farmed out their billing, and it is their billing that will get the message. The message will most likely die right there. Oh... so sad.
I am ready to get to town. I do believe I will only buy a lunch, of some sort, then head back home. Hmm, might buy cabbage, carrots, milk, butter, and perhaps whole whipping cream though. Perhaps I should check the potatoes though too. Those can go bad awfully fast. I swear they have gone from spraying things with pesticides to pest attractants! Didn't they used to cold storage store potatoes for months, the whole winter really? Never mind, just grumbling.
Later.
Well?
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The visit has been delayed until tomorrow. My friend is not feeling well. He almost didn't want to call it off. I am glad, for his sake, that he did. It's tough to try to get out when you are sick and tired. This is the first time he has called something off. So a) no way I could complain as often as I have called it off or just missed b) I do understand, and c) it actually makes me feel better about all of my called off, or just plain missed, visits. I'll add him to my prayer concerns, there are a number of my readers, those I read, some I have read about, and some I know who are suffering. One is suffering from having way too much fun! Yes, he gets prayers too! It's wonderful to see a man tempt the fates of his age and get out and play. I am truly hoping that the pains from that are short lived and that he can learn to go beyond them. Yes indeed.
I will probably still go into town, just not right at noon. A bit of food would be absolutely... wonderful. I may even get one of my favorites to go, a bucket of chicken. Not KFC, they have lost all faith. The one here is clean. It is well run. It just doesn't tend to the product as I demand. A local eatery brought in a broaster and does an absolutely knock out job. As an absolute aside, as I would happily pay more, they are even less expensive. But the chicken is perfect, what KFC, iirc, used to serve. An eight or twelve piece bucket could last four days. Hmm, I ought to figure out something to add to it though. It can, as even my own fried foods, stovepipe me a bit if eaten in larger batches as a steady diet thing. Hungry!
Oh, I did manage one of the pieces of business I wanted to attend. I still have two more, but might have the information myself here at home about one of them. The other will wait until tomorrow. One piece, on thing, at a time. It is what I can, and am, doing. A loverly clean bathroom, by the way, is wonderful. Now to get the kitchen cleared and cleaned, so as to finish unpacking. Later!
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The visit has been delayed until tomorrow. My friend is not feeling well. He almost didn't want to call it off. I am glad, for his sake, that he did. It's tough to try to get out when you are sick and tired. This is the first time he has called something off. So a) no way I could complain as often as I have called it off or just missed b) I do understand, and c) it actually makes me feel better about all of my called off, or just plain missed, visits. I'll add him to my prayer concerns, there are a number of my readers, those I read, some I have read about, and some I know who are suffering. One is suffering from having way too much fun! Yes, he gets prayers too! It's wonderful to see a man tempt the fates of his age and get out and play. I am truly hoping that the pains from that are short lived and that he can learn to go beyond them. Yes indeed.
I will probably still go into town, just not right at noon. A bit of food would be absolutely... wonderful. I may even get one of my favorites to go, a bucket of chicken. Not KFC, they have lost all faith. The one here is clean. It is well run. It just doesn't tend to the product as I demand. A local eatery brought in a broaster and does an absolutely knock out job. As an absolute aside, as I would happily pay more, they are even less expensive. But the chicken is perfect, what KFC, iirc, used to serve. An eight or twelve piece bucket could last four days. Hmm, I ought to figure out something to add to it though. It can, as even my own fried foods, stovepipe me a bit if eaten in larger batches as a steady diet thing. Hungry!
Oh, I did manage one of the pieces of business I wanted to attend. I still have two more, but might have the information myself here at home about one of them. The other will wait until tomorrow. One piece, on thing, at a time. It is what I can, and am, doing. A loverly clean bathroom, by the way, is wonderful. Now to get the kitchen cleared and cleaned, so as to finish unpacking. Later!
A quick shower and... I don't know.
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I'm at it, early, and well. A little spike in the heat first thing does help, or can. I still have clean clothes picked out from my last attempt at getting out. Yes, a fine day out of the cave should be in store. A bit of grocery shopping and .22 bullets if I can find them, and lots of them. Each pay day, save today, if I can get two 400-500 bullet packs I will, until I have four thousand? If I want to shoot, I buy a pack that day, just adding to my lot and making sure I don't spend down my bullet larder. I swear I had 6k. And while I shoot 100-200 per outing... While that adds up, it... Hmm, going to have to watch that all much more carefully.
The sky is still cloudy so no shooting today. We are nearing freezing, but not for the year, not here, not yet. I suspect I best look to what is out there and take what is available though. Still, the only peppers that I saw were jalapeno... useless to me, little better than bell peppers as a flavor additive, or at least these. There might be some others though. Not enough to make a sauce, but not bad for adding in to other things perhaps. Diced and added to beans and burger, or put in with spaghetti sauce. Hmm, yeah, something.
The plan is for noon, high noon. No shooting, just some goofing and getting out of our perspective caves. He says the heart doctor he saw believes he is a fine candidate for the valve surgery. Right through the sternum is the plan. The problem is the doctor won't treat him unless he quits smoking. That is nearly impossible for some people, that doctor knows it. I told my friend to get a different doctor. That surgeon is an idiot, and would see him die for his own pet peeve, as it is nothing more. My friend has gone through some intense surgeries, including a two part amputation of his leg. Half his foot first, then the rest of the leg to the knee some years later. He can handle surgery, quitting smoking won't help that much, if at all. Damned prick surgeon.
My friend is thinking about quitting, and that would be fine if he wants to and can. The two shouldn't be conflated. I did suggest he not go with the 12.5mg patches most clinics try to put out, it simply isn't enough to help quit. Go with the 21 mg. Can't smoke with either though, I told him. As for cost, I suggested that a month of patches is about equal to a carton of cigarettes, so if he isn't smoking, the cost is not higher, and probably lower since he smokes slightly more than a carton a month. He has another friend who is also thinking about quitting smoking. That would help, since the guy is right there and a current smoking partner. It's a tough row, that first few months, but it would be good. I have quit tobacco before. I just got around a smoker too soon. Actually several times. I wouldn't try to quit now, even with that no longer being a problem. My brother quit and his teeth are falling out. We kill off the good, and bad, bacteria when we chew. That doesn't come back, or fast enough, or something. They never tell the whole truth. I think, last I heard, my brother said he lost three teeth, and the rest are... troubled. I just won't do that. I'll support my friend, if that is his wish, and advise him. Either way. Still, he needs to go to another surgeon. I see they are implementing Zerocare one Zero doctor and surgeon at a time already.
Yeah, on to a shower. Later.
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I'm at it, early, and well. A little spike in the heat first thing does help, or can. I still have clean clothes picked out from my last attempt at getting out. Yes, a fine day out of the cave should be in store. A bit of grocery shopping and .22 bullets if I can find them, and lots of them. Each pay day, save today, if I can get two 400-500 bullet packs I will, until I have four thousand? If I want to shoot, I buy a pack that day, just adding to my lot and making sure I don't spend down my bullet larder. I swear I had 6k. And while I shoot 100-200 per outing... While that adds up, it... Hmm, going to have to watch that all much more carefully.
The plan is for noon, high noon. No shooting, just some goofing and getting out of our perspective caves. He says the heart doctor he saw believes he is a fine candidate for the valve surgery. Right through the sternum is the plan. The problem is the doctor won't treat him unless he quits smoking. That is nearly impossible for some people, that doctor knows it. I told my friend to get a different doctor. That surgeon is an idiot, and would see him die for his own pet peeve, as it is nothing more. My friend has gone through some intense surgeries, including a two part amputation of his leg. Half his foot first, then the rest of the leg to the knee some years later. He can handle surgery, quitting smoking won't help that much, if at all. Damned prick surgeon.
Yeah, on to a shower. Later.
Weird night.
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Dreams. Lots of them if I only remember one, urhm, specifically. It helped me remember, or deepened really, my appreciation for the true sort of love that can happen between a man and a woman, if by pointing out the wrong sort. I can see good love, in waking. And I know bad from good as plainly as the nose on my face. There are many, especially among elites, who have no such discernment. To a degree it seems to be a requirement for being an elite. Is it money, power, and fame that corrupt? Is it the greed, or chase, for those things? I hope it isn't absolute, though it sure seems to be at least a vast majority thing. Reasoned living, if small and somewhat broken in my case, is much preferred.
Of course, that wasn't all my dreams concerned. I'm just a... sort of man. Gah!
I woke at 22:00, after hitting it around 17:00. I forced myself to figure out how to get more sleep. I don't know what gives, I just know that was too short of a sleep to allow me a noon outing tomorrow. I haven't had that sort of hard wake mid-sleep in a while. I don't know how long it took me to get back to sleep, but I don't think it was long if it was a bit of a trial. All good, though, making it to 2:00, giving me nine hours, minus perhaps an half or full hour of weird waking time.
The furnace is on, though I might turn it up just a bit first thing to break the sleep chill. That sure helped yesterday, if a bit late to get a real start on anything else. Today I won't negotiate, heat up front. A little reading right off, if I probably don't remember all I have posted or read. It goes into the psyche and gets torn apart, reassembled, and then possibly regurgitated personally or through my writing. Life and thoughts are a perpetual clearing house, projects in the works, nothing is or ever will be completed.
Best to start off with a solid foundation and corner stones, something I came to late in life albeit. With the universe crumbling around me, and my own notions proving wrong time and again, I had to do something. While there is Matthew 20:1-16, I don't take that for granted. For one there is always at least another. In this case, at least, there is Matthew 25:14-30. The late worker will be paid as the first and early starter, but what he does with the gifted talents will also weigh on the things. While God gives, He also takes away, according to us in the final goal. Here on earth? He doesn't micromanage, from what I have seen, if He will lend His spirit and angels, if those aren't to be tested, even by His Son. As in Genesis 6:3, where He says one or two things. I personally shall think He says two very separate things. Thoughts indeed.
Well, yes, on to... probably a bit of gaming to attempt to reinstate a physical sense of things in an energy light manner. Sneaky I will need to be, attentive to detail, locations, methods, and... with a sense of the preciousness of life... in the season for that. No thing is a small thing, let it not be to your peril. Understand that which you lay your hands to, be it dark or bright, is your will and is what you know to be true, or don't lay your hands to it.
Later.
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Dreams. Lots of them if I only remember one, urhm, specifically. It helped me remember, or deepened really, my appreciation for the true sort of love that can happen between a man and a woman, if by pointing out the wrong sort. I can see good love, in waking. And I know bad from good as plainly as the nose on my face. There are many, especially among elites, who have no such discernment. To a degree it seems to be a requirement for being an elite. Is it money, power, and fame that corrupt? Is it the greed, or chase, for those things? I hope it isn't absolute, though it sure seems to be at least a vast majority thing. Reasoned living, if small and somewhat broken in my case, is much preferred.
Different pictures, same events. All I'm saying.
The furnace is on, though I might turn it up just a bit first thing to break the sleep chill. That sure helped yesterday, if a bit late to get a real start on anything else. Today I won't negotiate, heat up front. A little reading right off, if I probably don't remember all I have posted or read. It goes into the psyche and gets torn apart, reassembled, and then possibly regurgitated personally or through my writing. Life and thoughts are a perpetual clearing house, projects in the works, nothing is or ever will be completed.
Well, yes, on to... probably a bit of gaming to attempt to reinstate a physical sense of things in an energy light manner. Sneaky I will need to be, attentive to detail, locations, methods, and... with a sense of the preciousness of life... in the season for that. No thing is a small thing, let it not be to your peril. Understand that which you lay your hands to, be it dark or bright, is your will and is what you know to be true, or don't lay your hands to it.
Later.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Haiku Monday - Seasons
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Ah, now that I am trying to get back in the program, might as well join the festivities. BlazngScarlet won last week and is hosting. Her game, her rules, her contest page here.
I have one piece up. Not sure how in shape I am to do more. Time always tells.
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Ah, now that I am trying to get back in the program, might as well join the festivities. BlazngScarlet won last week and is hosting. Her game, her rules, her contest page here.
I have one piece up. Not sure how in shape I am to do more. Time always tells.
time for all seasons
kiss, kill, plant, harvest, remote
yet every hand feels
kiss, kill, plant, harvest, remote
yet every hand feels
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which of the weathers?
winter was the choice, cold, hard~
spring is now the thing
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in our time - cycle
youthful to knowing and strong
wisdom in fringes
Bedtime, or pretty close.
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No, I didn't make it to town, or get much done. Having the cave warmed did keep me from going back to bed much earlier, but by the time I realized I needed some warmth, the chill had zapped me. For as solid as I can be I am rather fragile at times. At least I am mostly just exhaustible, not really... truly fragile. Most women I have known, for example, get ill if they get cold. Even going out in cool weather right after a shower can make some of my past women ill. I just wear out when I go over the lines of comfort, tire. Then again that can happen for no reason. Actually, being tired is simply the norm. I am hoping, if the heart can improve as it has, that I might see to being fully aware even some of the time I am awake. Odd, but I can write, now, right through the exhaustion.
I did manage to patch a bit of a meal together. Hamburger from the cow I helped butcher, some odd spices, and beans. With a few pieces of buttered bread and, as usual, a glass of milk, life became just a bit better. A hot meal, protein heavy, does lift spirits, if it also will guarantee sleep in a very short bit. My friend called, wanted to see if I was still kicking. I was pretty sure I couldn't make it out today, but said I would be in tomorrow if he thought that would be good. That or Saturday or Monday. Tomorrow, he thought, so I agreed. Now I have a solid reason to be in to town. Oh, he suggested that .22 bullets are back in stock, or were when he was last down town a day before. Yeah, still a bit more than what they were, at $25 per 400. But I can do that. I might have to stock up. This time I will manage those a little more carefully. I had so many, at one time, that I simply... lost track. Much to my chagrin when they stopped being available. I don't know if we will get out to shoot tomorrow, weather as it is, but we will get prepped for it and set up a shoot.
Cloudy out, cool still, I can feel it right through the heat of the furnace. It seeps into the cave, then into the bones. The cold just waits in corners, or comes on a bit of air from somewhere, to steal strength. Tomorrow I will set the heat on right when I wake, and warm to life a bit before trying to move on to other things. What I could do I did. That was mostly just to play my game. I am trying to do the sneaky sort of play, being neither seen nor killing anyone. It's... more my m.o. in life than some might think anyway. It's not the preferred method, but... given all the givens it is the wisest of ways. As such, the game Dishonored is a bit more tolerable to play. Still not my favorite, but not bad. I think I dinged it because I listened to some idiot praising the non-players in the game, and the storyline. The storyline is okay, but the characters are not deep, interesting, blah.
Almost 16:00. Bedtime, I have no choice. Good night.
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No, I didn't make it to town, or get much done. Having the cave warmed did keep me from going back to bed much earlier, but by the time I realized I needed some warmth, the chill had zapped me. For as solid as I can be I am rather fragile at times. At least I am mostly just exhaustible, not really... truly fragile. Most women I have known, for example, get ill if they get cold. Even going out in cool weather right after a shower can make some of my past women ill. I just wear out when I go over the lines of comfort, tire. Then again that can happen for no reason. Actually, being tired is simply the norm. I am hoping, if the heart can improve as it has, that I might see to being fully aware even some of the time I am awake. Odd, but I can write, now, right through the exhaustion.
Almost 16:00. Bedtime, I have no choice. Good night.
Cool, nearly going on to cold.
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I was wondering why I wasn't getting to things. Today, the high is reported to only be getting to the low 50's. Okay, that will do it. It is right around 69 in here, which would be fine if I were used to it. Though that is just where the furnace thermometer is. It is definitely just a bit chilly coming out of a hot summer. I've turned the furnace on, hopefully just for today, or a few days, as a storm of some sort seems to be passing through. I'll see if that won't help.
Being stalled out by the cold, I am not sure what all I will get to yet today. A load of dishes, at least, and some laundry will be done. If I warm up, maybe a shower and a trip to town. I've got plenty of my day left, and that will fit in just fine with stores being open. An easy meal in town, then some stuff to put a good meal or three together here at home, meals that will last. A big pot of chili would be very good too. I'll check my stocks, may need tomatoes, I know I need crackers. Definitely hungry and ready to work on that. I just have to do some dishes and shopping. What goes good with brisket? Yeah, potatoes, sure, but what else? Chili is pretty much a one pot meal, with crackers and milk, to my mind. Corned beef, is also a one pot meal, with the potatoes, carrots, and cabbage all in there, and broth. Well, and milk. I tell you, milk has made my bones rather sturdy. No spurs or other problems, that I can tell. It does a body good.
The girls have been rather happy to have me back and on track. I should have noticed it was cool just by their actions. Cuddling, a lot. I simply am not aware, even when doing better. Then again, other than high heat or life threatening cold, I simply usually don't need to worry about cold at all. Just... thinking this morning. Hmm, at least a week didn't go by before I realized I was too chill. There is that. Later.
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I was wondering why I wasn't getting to things. Today, the high is reported to only be getting to the low 50's. Okay, that will do it. It is right around 69 in here, which would be fine if I were used to it. Though that is just where the furnace thermometer is. It is definitely just a bit chilly coming out of a hot summer. I've turned the furnace on, hopefully just for today, or a few days, as a storm of some sort seems to be passing through. I'll see if that won't help.
Being stalled out by the cold, I am not sure what all I will get to yet today. A load of dishes, at least, and some laundry will be done. If I warm up, maybe a shower and a trip to town. I've got plenty of my day left, and that will fit in just fine with stores being open. An easy meal in town, then some stuff to put a good meal or three together here at home, meals that will last. A big pot of chili would be very good too. I'll check my stocks, may need tomatoes, I know I need crackers. Definitely hungry and ready to work on that. I just have to do some dishes and shopping. What goes good with brisket? Yeah, potatoes, sure, but what else? Chili is pretty much a one pot meal, with crackers and milk, to my mind. Corned beef, is also a one pot meal, with the potatoes, carrots, and cabbage all in there, and broth. Well, and milk. I tell you, milk has made my bones rather sturdy. No spurs or other problems, that I can tell. It does a body good.
The girls have been rather happy to have me back and on track. I should have noticed it was cool just by their actions. Cuddling, a lot. I simply am not aware, even when doing better. Then again, other than high heat or life threatening cold, I simply usually don't need to worry about cold at all. Just... thinking this morning. Hmm, at least a week didn't go by before I realized I was too chill. There is that. Later.
That was good, maybe great.
.
.
I did get a shower in, soaked the dishes a bit, air dried, and was up until 16:00 and change. Slept like a baby then woke at 1:00 and change, perhaps 1:30. I was too fuzzy to remember this morning. After tending to the primary morning duty, I added hot water to the soaking dishes so that before too long I can wash, rinse and hand or air dry the items, depending. Some things don't air dry to my standards. Glass glasses and silverware streak or spot. Then another shower and maybe a trip to town later. I have plenty of time to be fully awake by the time a trip to town would make sense.
Feeling quite good today, and yesterday. Not up to full time efforts perhaps, but enough to snipe some of the to-do list, handle some minor shopping, and perhaps figure out some socializing. Oh, and get a meal or two in there somewhere. I am hungry large and tall, 4 x 4, and wall to wall. HUNGRY. Plus, if I can get dishes and laundry going, and get the right things at the store, I should be able to put out a corned beef, cabbage, potato, and carrot spread that will last a few days. Then maybe get the grill together and slow cook, and maybe try smoking this time, the brisket I have in the freezer for another three to four days of good eating. I feel like I could eat either in one meal, if... my stomach isn't what it used to be. Then again, being this hungry? It could happen. I just wouldn't want to make it a habit.
Damn it's good to be back on this side of the life-death line. No, I wasn't in physical peril, really. But becoming that exhausted has consequences. The mind, perhaps even the spirit, roam. They will from time to time anyway. You don't go where I have gone without spreading your territory into places that terrify most. It's just old ground for me. As I suggested, if it bothers you, don't read. If you can't go there, back off until I am back. If you can handle it, use it as a stretching exercise. It's good for the soul, especially without the heavy lifting on this side. And never fear sending out a comment, even if I accuse you of mellowing my harsh. :p
Have a great day. And get to it! Go, go, go! Blessings and good day.
.
I did get a shower in, soaked the dishes a bit, air dried, and was up until 16:00 and change. Slept like a baby then woke at 1:00 and change, perhaps 1:30. I was too fuzzy to remember this morning. After tending to the primary morning duty, I added hot water to the soaking dishes so that before too long I can wash, rinse and hand or air dry the items, depending. Some things don't air dry to my standards. Glass glasses and silverware streak or spot. Then another shower and maybe a trip to town later. I have plenty of time to be fully awake by the time a trip to town would make sense.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Breakfast was about it.
.
.
Oh, I've been heading toward taking a shower. Since 10:00, it is now almost 14:30. Ah, but I enjoy chuckling at... little flaws, or techniques? Could be. I won't get to dishes, but I will set those to a soak after my shower. A shower, then some air dry time, then on to bed. Not bad. I am just a bit surprised I got to some things last night. It is ahead of my expectations. I take it when I can get it though. There is always a chance I will be able to keep up on the work and drive through quickly. I don't dare hold my breath but I can now dare to hope.
I need to check on some things. Getting around to doing that is tricky. Some of the things I am not sure how to go about checking, so even that will take a bit of... research. With the phone working I have access to time, day, date, and a few more resources. No, I don't have a calendar. Yes, that is on the list... since last Christmas actually. Pinup girls, you know. Nothing too bawdy, just... subtle curvacious reminders... Keeps me in the game? Maybe. I suspect I can, if I get to working, also toss some of these things in the works, as they aren't mechanical, physical. Using the brain and the body in one fell swoop can be a bit of a trick, less so if I don't push the physical too much. I wonder if Desert Cat noticed how often I used him to help orient my work at the camp. I am sure he noticed when working on the camp. When drained, others can easily manipulate up to a degree. I have learned to have people do that, sometimes without their knowledge. It's embarrassing to... need help. Especially on things most people just do.
Oh, yes, a shower sounds splendid, as does sleep. A shower now will increase the chances for a shower later, then a trip to town perhaps. Either tonight or tomorrow morning. A bit of shopping, but also just escaping the dungeon. Best feed the girls before bedtime, too. They get rather persnickety when I miss one of their meals, and yes, they take it personal. Further, they can get just a bit ornery for some number of days, save when I am really ill, at least as long as dry food and water hold out. When I am better? No forgiveness whatever. That's part of the reason I like them!
Good night.
.
Oh, I've been heading toward taking a shower. Since 10:00, it is now almost 14:30. Ah, but I enjoy chuckling at... little flaws, or techniques? Could be. I won't get to dishes, but I will set those to a soak after my shower. A shower, then some air dry time, then on to bed. Not bad. I am just a bit surprised I got to some things last night. It is ahead of my expectations. I take it when I can get it though. There is always a chance I will be able to keep up on the work and drive through quickly. I don't dare hold my breath but I can now dare to hope.
I need to check on some things. Getting around to doing that is tricky. Some of the things I am not sure how to go about checking, so even that will take a bit of... research. With the phone working I have access to time, day, date, and a few more resources. No, I don't have a calendar. Yes, that is on the list... since last Christmas actually. Pinup girls, you know. Nothing too bawdy, just... subtle curvacious reminders... Keeps me in the game? Maybe. I suspect I can, if I get to working, also toss some of these things in the works, as they aren't mechanical, physical. Using the brain and the body in one fell swoop can be a bit of a trick, less so if I don't push the physical too much. I wonder if Desert Cat noticed how often I used him to help orient my work at the camp. I am sure he noticed when working on the camp. When drained, others can easily manipulate up to a degree. I have learned to have people do that, sometimes without their knowledge. It's embarrassing to... need help. Especially on things most people just do.
Oh, yes, a shower sounds splendid, as does sleep. A shower now will increase the chances for a shower later, then a trip to town perhaps. Either tonight or tomorrow morning. A bit of shopping, but also just escaping the dungeon. Best feed the girls before bedtime, too. They get rather persnickety when I miss one of their meals, and yes, they take it personal. Further, they can get just a bit ornery for some number of days, save when I am really ill, at least as long as dry food and water hold out. When I am better? No forgiveness whatever. That's part of the reason I like them!
Good night.
That's more like it.
.
.
Not quite cooking with oil yet. I did get a bit physical. It wasn't on my list, but cleaning my bathroom was something... I hated having it seem unclean. Hated. So... it got cleaned. Top to bottom, if there is still some sorting of a few things and a bit more I will be doing. I just didn't feel clean after taking a shower. I worried. Now all is good. I mean clean, floor to toilet to sink. Plus the sink has some problem with the drain stopper mechanism coming undone, I fixed that while I was at it. I need to find a more permanent fix for that as well. Hmm, but the first thing I actually did was to shave my whiskers.
Why I do one thing first, or in what order, has as much to do with what I can see right in front of me, and what irritates my mind/eye, or what can pull me in through the imagination or even physical need, such as food. I might have plans, but with EVERYTHING needing a little to a lot of care, plans fall apart very quickly. Still, the goals I have in mind stand, they just weren't the first served. Then again... given that I need to shower, and want to be presentable, cleaning the bathroom does assist in that. Especially with my pet peeves and worries.
Next? Hmm. French toast, I do believe. Nothing fancy, mind you. I don't care for nutmeg, and I am not really set up for anything fancy anyway. I do have real maple syrup, and real butter, Amish at that. Good ingredients, simply designed meal, and that will be that. Hmm, I might even have a bit of sausage thawed.
As for getting to town. After a bite to eat, washing some dishes and putting others (from before the trip) away (in the drainer), I may consider that. I just don't know right now. I am feeling good. The bit of work didn't tax me. I'm not otherwise spent or tired. There might be enough time before bedtime. Or not. I don't know how long this other stuff will take, though multi-tasking, give or take, might cut down on total time expenditure.
If I can keep this up I should be back to some standards of decency in a week or so, then I will feel much more comfortable going back on medication and taking that hit. The next thing in home will be to clean clothes, get the kitchen back into order, and wash all the dishes so that as I unpack I can just get things washed, as needed, and have a comfortable place to do sorting and other such things. It looks to be on the way. Later.
.
Not quite cooking with oil yet. I did get a bit physical. It wasn't on my list, but cleaning my bathroom was something... I hated having it seem unclean. Hated. So... it got cleaned. Top to bottom, if there is still some sorting of a few things and a bit more I will be doing. I just didn't feel clean after taking a shower. I worried. Now all is good. I mean clean, floor to toilet to sink. Plus the sink has some problem with the drain stopper mechanism coming undone, I fixed that while I was at it. I need to find a more permanent fix for that as well. Hmm, but the first thing I actually did was to shave my whiskers.
Why I do one thing first, or in what order, has as much to do with what I can see right in front of me, and what irritates my mind/eye, or what can pull me in through the imagination or even physical need, such as food. I might have plans, but with EVERYTHING needing a little to a lot of care, plans fall apart very quickly. Still, the goals I have in mind stand, they just weren't the first served. Then again... given that I need to shower, and want to be presentable, cleaning the bathroom does assist in that. Especially with my pet peeves and worries.
Next? Hmm. French toast, I do believe. Nothing fancy, mind you. I don't care for nutmeg, and I am not really set up for anything fancy anyway. I do have real maple syrup, and real butter, Amish at that. Good ingredients, simply designed meal, and that will be that. Hmm, I might even have a bit of sausage thawed.
As for getting to town. After a bite to eat, washing some dishes and putting others (from before the trip) away (in the drainer), I may consider that. I just don't know right now. I am feeling good. The bit of work didn't tax me. I'm not otherwise spent or tired. There might be enough time before bedtime. Or not. I don't know how long this other stuff will take, though multi-tasking, give or take, might cut down on total time expenditure.
If I can keep this up I should be back to some standards of decency in a week or so, then I will feel much more comfortable going back on medication and taking that hit. The next thing in home will be to clean clothes, get the kitchen back into order, and wash all the dishes so that as I unpack I can just get things washed, as needed, and have a comfortable place to do sorting and other such things. It looks to be on the way. Later.
Good. Very good.
.
.
Coming out of the... coma... happens in stages. Dying is actually the easy part, coming back to life is the painful end of the thing. Yeah, sure, I didn't reach physical death. Although I suspect I get closer to it of spirit than most would want to know. There are very bodily aspects of it too. Coming out of that is like coming off real painkillers after a major surgery or terrible wound. It does hurt. Those aches that were there when I went calling are still here, finally noticeable again. They were just waiting. After doing this enough times, though, that pain is actually... refreshing. Physical complaints of this sort anyway are far less than what I had been going through, even with the painkillers in play. Nice, actually. And... living pains, not pains of the tomb. Yum!!! Really. But boy am I hungry!!! Only the Lord knows just how hungry a lycanthrop gets when unable to tend it's nature.
.
Coming out of the... coma... happens in stages. Dying is actually the easy part, coming back to life is the painful end of the thing. Yeah, sure, I didn't reach physical death. Although I suspect I get closer to it of spirit than most would want to know. There are very bodily aspects of it too. Coming out of that is like coming off real painkillers after a major surgery or terrible wound. It does hurt. Those aches that were there when I went calling are still here, finally noticeable again. They were just waiting. After doing this enough times, though, that pain is actually... refreshing. Physical complaints of this sort anyway are far less than what I had been going through, even with the painkillers in play. Nice, actually. And... living pains, not pains of the tomb. Yum!!! Really. But boy am I hungry!!! Only the Lord knows just how hungry a lycanthrop gets when unable to tend it's nature.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Hmm, alright.
.
.
Noon and Doom is still up. Actually it is nearly 13:00. I'm not sure how that happened. I think I just procrastinated about going to bed. I wanted to. I would have slept. I just never made it to bed. Nice, I think. Perhaps it was just a slip, yesterday, and not a complete drop. I never know. BUT. It is bed time now. If I stretch further it could end up being very counterproductive. Something about passing through my time frame for sleep until the next one appears and hitting on into insomnia. As with food, drink, and all other things... moderation.
Good night.
.
 |
| Thanks, mum. |
I still want to get to town.
.
.
It might be a while. I have been able to stay up until past 10:30, but that really is about it for today. The missionaries visited the other day. The car charger I bought on the road wasn't charging my phone. I think I used it before but it wasn't working. Well, the missionaries thought they could use a car charger more than a wall charger, being out often and for large chunks of the day, so considered a trade. My one stipulation was that they check the car charger with their phone first. And, as always, I offer a 100% return. Yeah, I would make a terrible (or fantastic) businessman. I just won't cheat people. So, I charged my phone, and my mother called right before I was going to call her this morning. She is much relieved.
Even not needing a plug in charger, I would still like to get to town. Just... to get out. And while I try not to think of what it will take to get going and get out, I know that part would be quite good for me itself. There are things I would like from several stores anyway. If nothing else, just a trip to the grocery store. My store is open most of the day and evening, so that shouldn't be too hard. It's just getting to it.
It was good to hear my mother's voice. For her it was very important. But she tracks time, days, weeks, and such. For me it hasn't been that long since I spoke with her. I simply haven't been tracking time well. Like... cat time? Or the reverse? Tree time versus human time? Something. Still, it is good to hear my mother speak.
She thinks I should visit next year, in the spring perhaps. And I may just do that. I will be driving. While more expensive, it is less taxing than airport "security" protocols. Just dropping her off at the airport gives me the heebeejebees. I feel like I've entered NAZI Germany, or East Germany back in the day. And, yeah, I know what those are like. Damn America? Really? I am surprise Zero hasn't found a way to install state border crossing posts, while of course continuing to leave foreign borders wide open. But a government will do as much as it can, if it is allowed, and distinctly not in the favor of citizens or freedom. Anyway, perhaps a trip in the spring. I'm thinking about it.
Not sure what is up with the Church. Our new pope seems to be dizzing morality, at least hedging it. And while it is true that we cannot judge, as per hell, we do have to follow our own conscience. Sometimes that means exclusion. Now, mind you, you are reading a post written by a guy who just got back from Burning Man. I can, and do, associate with some that others find quite objectionable. I just don't expect everyone to, or be able to, do that. I wasn't sure I could. While what I am seeing, so far, seems to be a secular interpretation of his words, haven't had the energy to look for an exact quote, it is troubling. Moral issues, such as abortion and homosexuality, are a primary aspect of being Catholic, for me, to me. They aren't even Catholic notions, but Laws of Nature, something simply accepted by my faith, I thought? Oh, I know, popes have occasionally put things out for the very purpose of shaking and stirring, without intent to undo anything. If I question that wisdom, especially after Vatican II and the great misinterpretation that has nearly bankrupted many dioceses. Opening doors to the... fearful, weak, distraught... has it's place though. I get that. But so early in his tenure and I am... concerned. On the other hand, it seems Mrs. Pelosi has been ruled, by the highest Catholic Court, to have no right to communion. In fact, it seems as if the decree is that, after much work with her for naught, she is no longer welcome to it. Now I don't know if this is through her bishop, and whether her priest will descent, it is Cali after all, that is another issue. Though, if the thing went to court, I am thinking that would almost have to have been her bishop, and maybe priest, who would have started the claim after repeated warnings and such, with her attempting to challenge their decision. Hopefully this is just the start. *cough* Biden, Kennedys, and many others *cough* Abortion itself is an excommunication device, so supporting government pay for it for millions? I would not like to be talking to God about that. He just won't be keen on excuses, or the notion of them trying to say they were simply being nonjudgemental. A pig with lipstick, flying at that. I have many sins, but... not that many.
Yeah, on to bed. A little disheartened with my schedule adjustment but I have had worse. At least I am sleeping complete cycles and staying up complete cycles. At least until medicine takes it's initial toll. Ugh... I hate that part. Good night.
.
It might be a while. I have been able to stay up until past 10:30, but that really is about it for today. The missionaries visited the other day. The car charger I bought on the road wasn't charging my phone. I think I used it before but it wasn't working. Well, the missionaries thought they could use a car charger more than a wall charger, being out often and for large chunks of the day, so considered a trade. My one stipulation was that they check the car charger with their phone first. And, as always, I offer a 100% return. Yeah, I would make a terrible (or fantastic) businessman. I just won't cheat people. So, I charged my phone, and my mother called right before I was going to call her this morning. She is much relieved.
Even not needing a plug in charger, I would still like to get to town. Just... to get out. And while I try not to think of what it will take to get going and get out, I know that part would be quite good for me itself. There are things I would like from several stores anyway. If nothing else, just a trip to the grocery store. My store is open most of the day and evening, so that shouldn't be too hard. It's just getting to it.
It was good to hear my mother's voice. For her it was very important. But she tracks time, days, weeks, and such. For me it hasn't been that long since I spoke with her. I simply haven't been tracking time well. Like... cat time? Or the reverse? Tree time versus human time? Something. Still, it is good to hear my mother speak.
She thinks I should visit next year, in the spring perhaps. And I may just do that. I will be driving. While more expensive, it is less taxing than airport "security" protocols. Just dropping her off at the airport gives me the heebeejebees. I feel like I've entered NAZI Germany, or East Germany back in the day. And, yeah, I know what those are like. Damn America? Really? I am surprise Zero hasn't found a way to install state border crossing posts, while of course continuing to leave foreign borders wide open. But a government will do as much as it can, if it is allowed, and distinctly not in the favor of citizens or freedom. Anyway, perhaps a trip in the spring. I'm thinking about it.
Not sure what is up with the Church. Our new pope seems to be dizzing morality, at least hedging it. And while it is true that we cannot judge, as per hell, we do have to follow our own conscience. Sometimes that means exclusion. Now, mind you, you are reading a post written by a guy who just got back from Burning Man. I can, and do, associate with some that others find quite objectionable. I just don't expect everyone to, or be able to, do that. I wasn't sure I could. While what I am seeing, so far, seems to be a secular interpretation of his words, haven't had the energy to look for an exact quote, it is troubling. Moral issues, such as abortion and homosexuality, are a primary aspect of being Catholic, for me, to me. They aren't even Catholic notions, but Laws of Nature, something simply accepted by my faith, I thought? Oh, I know, popes have occasionally put things out for the very purpose of shaking and stirring, without intent to undo anything. If I question that wisdom, especially after Vatican II and the great misinterpretation that has nearly bankrupted many dioceses. Opening doors to the... fearful, weak, distraught... has it's place though. I get that. But so early in his tenure and I am... concerned. On the other hand, it seems Mrs. Pelosi has been ruled, by the highest Catholic Court, to have no right to communion. In fact, it seems as if the decree is that, after much work with her for naught, she is no longer welcome to it. Now I don't know if this is through her bishop, and whether her priest will descent, it is Cali after all, that is another issue. Though, if the thing went to court, I am thinking that would almost have to have been her bishop, and maybe priest, who would have started the claim after repeated warnings and such, with her attempting to challenge their decision. Hopefully this is just the start. *cough* Biden, Kennedys, and many others *cough* Abortion itself is an excommunication device, so supporting government pay for it for millions? I would not like to be talking to God about that. He just won't be keen on excuses, or the notion of them trying to say they were simply being nonjudgemental. A pig with lipstick, flying at that. I have many sins, but... not that many.
Yeah, on to bed. A little disheartened with my schedule adjustment but I have had worse. At least I am sleeping complete cycles and staying up complete cycles. At least until medicine takes it's initial toll. Ugh... I hate that part. Good night.
Sleep is calling.
.
.
I couldn't make it to noon yesterday. I did squeeze 10:30, an hour past my post. Today? It is 4:50 and I am getting terribly close to diving into bed and calling it a night. Zapped. No real fuss, I have certainly had worse. Perhaps the world is cooling. That can do it. Oh and the sun is definitely setting earlier. That too has an affect.
I will game for a bit, see if that doesn't help. All I can do, at this stage in my sleep cycle, is fend off sleep as I may for a while. If I stretch too far the world gets loopy. It is much better to sleep a little more than to slip the surly bonds of sanity by breaking into the psychic twilight. Of course, none of it is good, it is more like the ol' eye doctor asking "Better here... *click* *whirr* or here? Here... or here?". Enough time and one learns to read one's own seasons, scent the beasts that are edible and dangerous, and... fly by the seat of the pants in any case. No man has a sure, true, full-time compass, only... guesses from experience. And where I live few men have walked, fewer still have been able to attempt to carry on. Sometime being a pioneer isn't all that it might have seemed. Then again I am not dead, either. :)
Yep, tired. Oh, but at least medicine will help that. </snark> Shush... just goofing, and having just a sly little bit of fun at it while I'm doing so.
Later, or more likely good night.
.
I couldn't make it to noon yesterday. I did squeeze 10:30, an hour past my post. Today? It is 4:50 and I am getting terribly close to diving into bed and calling it a night. Zapped. No real fuss, I have certainly had worse. Perhaps the world is cooling. That can do it. Oh and the sun is definitely setting earlier. That too has an affect.
(I am pretty sure I am not what he meant. Too late... for him. *grins*)
Yep, tired. Oh, but at least medicine will help that. </snark> Shush... just goofing, and having just a sly little bit of fun at it while I'm doing so.
Later, or more likely good night.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Ah, well, there is... that.
.
.
While I am not getting to much, thinking okay just not doing, I am moving ahead with some plans. One thing that bugs me is having tools but no real place to work, when I can work. To that ends, it has long been a goal to create a workspace. Now, that requires a bench, to my mind pegboard, and some basic tools such as a vice or two, perhaps a minor anvil, and a bench grinder. Call me old school. Which I am, if more in intent than practice if that lack has more to do with incapacity than lack of interest. So... I ordered a bench kit and pegboard. It is relatively inexpensive but will require tools and stock (which I might actually have), plus the energy. Still... it might help me get to little, and bigger, projects a bit more easily, surely.
Oh, it will be far from a dream shop. It is a basic system. I will be reviewing bench grinders and vices, figuring out what will go where in the shop area, looking for a seat of some sort. Really, there is no end to what to consider with a shop. Desert Cat built his own cabinets. And, really, they did look good. He proffered a bit of advice, and second thoughts about diy on those. But they do look good. As an example of where, and how involved, one could get with a shop. And you can do it on a slimmer nickel, and well, if you know what you are looking for used, and where to look. A project within a project for projects, that helps, is complicated, is never quite there, but which serves and can be employed up to one's own potential. While dauntingly deep it is enticingly alluring. So a shop is a woman? Well... maybe. :p
Ah, but... plumbing first. Hmm, then again, the problems I am having with plumbing, to a degree, come about from not having a good place upon which to set the cement panel so as to braze the whole of the connections at once. Perhaps putting the bench together would give me the place to sit and work on the whole line so as to not be doing each elbow, straight, union, at a time. Hmm, there is that.
I have put one of these benches together before. It can be difficult, if the main complication was that the bench was too big to be completed outside of where it was to be located, as it didn't fit through the opening, barely made it as was. The area in which I finished it was quite small, too small for a complete build. So it had to be partially built in my kitchen, then that part and the remainder taken into an that tiny area and finished. I had hoped to do some cuts on the lower platforms to allow for closer sitting, but that was just too complicated to mix in with what else I was doing, considering that I had to adjust sizes, on the fly, to even get that to fit with room for me to sit near, in that first project. I won't make it the full four foot width, probably, but I might well make it the full eight feet of length if I have the space as I see things. In any case, I will have the room to tinker on the fly and improvise with this project. Yeah, eight feet, if I can do it, would give me a ton of room, and be endcapped with a double bench grinder on one side and a metal, and possibly wood eventually, vice on the other side. Hmm, yeah, I can see that.
Isn't a home shop the other other reason to... even have a home? Yep, more and more correlation with women. *cough* Gah! It is indeed good to be the king, even with a queen. Then again, how to be a king without a queen? It's the old... if a bear sh... and woods... knows? *grins* By the way, I did buy some Poo- Pourri. Uhrm, no, not for me. Quit looking at me like that! My sh must stink, and others must abide that. It's a king thing. No, for a young woman who got married while I was off tracking down my life. I figure, now that she is queen... well...
Later.
.
While I am not getting to much, thinking okay just not doing, I am moving ahead with some plans. One thing that bugs me is having tools but no real place to work, when I can work. To that ends, it has long been a goal to create a workspace. Now, that requires a bench, to my mind pegboard, and some basic tools such as a vice or two, perhaps a minor anvil, and a bench grinder. Call me old school. Which I am, if more in intent than practice if that lack has more to do with incapacity than lack of interest. So... I ordered a bench kit and pegboard. It is relatively inexpensive but will require tools and stock (which I might actually have), plus the energy. Still... it might help me get to little, and bigger, projects a bit more easily, surely.
Later.
Up and at it, mostly.
.
.
Something, something, and something else. My mind is not quite in the game yet. Yeah, sure, I went to bed early. I even slept late and long. Feeling good but still rather shot. I am hoping things pull together a bit better before long. Even with the minor setback with sleep today, having a goal gives me something... tangible, sort of. I have other things I could target but they are too complicated, involved, or... fleshly. I still don't have a great feel for... tactual things. I can't quite wrap my mind around things of a physical nature, or manipulating them. A trip to town is nicely vague enough that I can make sense of it and target it. I just have to avoid thinking about... all the physical stuff involved with such a... venture.
I have been trying to game more. I don't favor the game I am playing, for my part, but it does require more than a simple tap on a keyboard. Call it rehab, if you wish. And it can help. It probably is helping. Better than reading, or simply watching a movie, as I am involved with the outcome, am forced to focus and plan, and to the extent possible, have skin in the game. Plus, it keeps me right there near the stuff that needs unpacked, sorted, possibly washed, and then put away. Just a little reminder for the eyes.
Ah, right, medicine. Now to fill that out and begin taking it. I don't balk at being on medicines, mostly. Proof being in the pudding and improvements obvious, both in my life and through physical, blood, and other tests. It is more starting or stopping them (sometimes). These medicines are harsh, and riding that horse requires saddle sores to be hardened, nearly every time. I had been stalling going back on medicines in the hope of being to an event last Friday. I missed it anyway but would have probably had zero chance had I started medication almost any time earlier. I can now begin trying to get that all together again. I stopped the plan to restart but simply hadn't put getting back on medicine back in the queue after the event passed. Tonight, probably. I will at least put setting up medicines on the list. It's a short list, if it is taking a long time to complete.
The thing is, going back on medicine could very possibly lay me up for a month, two, maybe even three. I probably won't go through the angst I just hit. But I will be just as incapacitated, very possibly more so. Currently I am having nearly full days, if the cycle is rotating rather than static. I never know how long, or hard, I will go down when starting medicines. You just don't know how frightening that is, living on your own, already near the bottom, and... it's like adding more weight to a horse already sandbagged to nearly being unable to walk or feed as is. Yeah, I know, long term. But, yeah, that... there is still the short term to suffer through and I haven't been up to more suffering yet.
Well, on to... something. Just a little update, some thoughts. Later.
.
Something, something, and something else. My mind is not quite in the game yet. Yeah, sure, I went to bed early. I even slept late and long. Feeling good but still rather shot. I am hoping things pull together a bit better before long. Even with the minor setback with sleep today, having a goal gives me something... tangible, sort of. I have other things I could target but they are too complicated, involved, or... fleshly. I still don't have a great feel for... tactual things. I can't quite wrap my mind around things of a physical nature, or manipulating them. A trip to town is nicely vague enough that I can make sense of it and target it. I just have to avoid thinking about... all the physical stuff involved with such a... venture.
I have been trying to game more. I don't favor the game I am playing, for my part, but it does require more than a simple tap on a keyboard. Call it rehab, if you wish. And it can help. It probably is helping. Better than reading, or simply watching a movie, as I am involved with the outcome, am forced to focus and plan, and to the extent possible, have skin in the game. Plus, it keeps me right there near the stuff that needs unpacked, sorted, possibly washed, and then put away. Just a little reminder for the eyes.
Ah, right, medicine. Now to fill that out and begin taking it. I don't balk at being on medicines, mostly. Proof being in the pudding and improvements obvious, both in my life and through physical, blood, and other tests. It is more starting or stopping them (sometimes). These medicines are harsh, and riding that horse requires saddle sores to be hardened, nearly every time. I had been stalling going back on medicines in the hope of being to an event last Friday. I missed it anyway but would have probably had zero chance had I started medication almost any time earlier. I can now begin trying to get that all together again. I stopped the plan to restart but simply hadn't put getting back on medicine back in the queue after the event passed. Tonight, probably. I will at least put setting up medicines on the list. It's a short list, if it is taking a long time to complete.
The thing is, going back on medicine could very possibly lay me up for a month, two, maybe even three. I probably won't go through the angst I just hit. But I will be just as incapacitated, very possibly more so. Currently I am having nearly full days, if the cycle is rotating rather than static. I never know how long, or hard, I will go down when starting medicines. You just don't know how frightening that is, living on your own, already near the bottom, and... it's like adding more weight to a horse already sandbagged to nearly being unable to walk or feed as is. Yeah, I know, long term. But, yeah, that... there is still the short term to suffer through and I haven't been up to more suffering yet.
Well, on to... something. Just a little update, some thoughts. Later.
Until noon?
.
.
Yeah, well, not everything works out. At 9:30 I am looking at crashing, hard. Not much can be done to change it. Then again, it often can take a while to get around to making my plans work. At least I am out of the woods on other issues. I'm not whining, I am sure there are reasons to go in there. When it is done, it's no longer any of my business, either. I just need to get my body back to functioning along with the mind, or spirit, or whatever that is. Pushing it hard isn't successful, usually. Ignoring the problem isn't much better. I'm not sure if time is the only resource, but a gentle nudge, inducements, and trying to keep my goals in mind seems to offer a bit more than ignoring or shoving. Those last are only good for finishing, at times, in specific circumstances.
I am feeling relatively good, if a bit tired. I keep feeling like I might be pulling out. Setbacks are bound to happen. Yes, life is good again. Hmm, but so much to do! I must wake, and work. I don't even have to work hard, I just have to get to bits and then maybe work my way up to the bigger stuff as I go. I honestly do like to work. Life is simply interesting, and work can make that more meaningful, grant some success on the smaller and larger theater, burn up energy, be creative. It is even a social thing.
Blathering. Very tired. Yes, to bed. I'll feed the girls, and probably let them in with me tonight. It's been a while. With the air conditioner off, probably for the year, I think I can afford to let them back in. Still blathering. Good night.
.
Yeah, well, not everything works out. At 9:30 I am looking at crashing, hard. Not much can be done to change it. Then again, it often can take a while to get around to making my plans work. At least I am out of the woods on other issues. I'm not whining, I am sure there are reasons to go in there. When it is done, it's no longer any of my business, either. I just need to get my body back to functioning along with the mind, or spirit, or whatever that is. Pushing it hard isn't successful, usually. Ignoring the problem isn't much better. I'm not sure if time is the only resource, but a gentle nudge, inducements, and trying to keep my goals in mind seems to offer a bit more than ignoring or shoving. Those last are only good for finishing, at times, in specific circumstances.
I am feeling relatively good, if a bit tired. I keep feeling like I might be pulling out. Setbacks are bound to happen. Yes, life is good again. Hmm, but so much to do! I must wake, and work. I don't even have to work hard, I just have to get to bits and then maybe work my way up to the bigger stuff as I go. I honestly do like to work. Life is simply interesting, and work can make that more meaningful, grant some success on the smaller and larger theater, burn up energy, be creative. It is even a social thing.
Blathering. Very tired. Yes, to bed. I'll feed the girls, and probably let them in with me tonight. It's been a while. With the air conditioner off, probably for the year, I think I can afford to let them back in. Still blathering. Good night.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Oh? Some interesting ideas, and good morning.
.
.
I was able to stay awake until noon. Thing is that will be tight to get to town. I will try to stretch my day just a bit longer. I am crashing those last few hours, which means I would be driving to town on fumes. Still, I like where this is going.
Tired, all the time. It hurts a bit. A little pain is pretty much a norm in life, if most have learned to mitigate or hide. We simply can't face it all of the time, at full volume. Fair enough. Heck, we can't believe it all of the time. Some more so than others though comparing apples to apples is a very delicate task and would require knowledge none may have. I won't say I know what lies deep in the that pit. Nor do I know how high the stairs lead. And that being in myself. How could I possibly know where those things lead to in another, save by their outward expressions. Knowing that for decades I could not even express, just went catatonic, means someone who seems numb might be farther along than can even be shared is something to think about. Doesn't change that I am tired as crap. :p
Oh, a number of... fun videos. No, nothing reaches out to grab you or gouges at your eyes, nothing rends your spirit, tears at your soul, or even makes you cry... save maybe laughing if you knew none of this but then it hits you. Just... factoids in cartoon form. True? I tend to think they have some of the information. But they are mostly for fun. For example, when they suggest that the "most common ancestor"... to anything really... what they really should say because they are basing it on a debunked theory (of evolution, at the very least as it sits), they should say the closest genetic fit... if even that isn't always the case. Still...
.
I was able to stay awake until noon. Thing is that will be tight to get to town. I will try to stretch my day just a bit longer. I am crashing those last few hours, which means I would be driving to town on fumes. Still, I like where this is going.
Tired, all the time. It hurts a bit. A little pain is pretty much a norm in life, if most have learned to mitigate or hide. We simply can't face it all of the time, at full volume. Fair enough. Heck, we can't believe it all of the time. Some more so than others though comparing apples to apples is a very delicate task and would require knowledge none may have. I won't say I know what lies deep in the that pit. Nor do I know how high the stairs lead. And that being in myself. How could I possibly know where those things lead to in another, save by their outward expressions. Knowing that for decades I could not even express, just went catatonic, means someone who seems numb might be farther along than can even be shared is something to think about. Doesn't change that I am tired as crap. :p
Oh, a number of... fun videos. No, nothing reaches out to grab you or gouges at your eyes, nothing rends your spirit, tears at your soul, or even makes you cry... save maybe laughing if you knew none of this but then it hits you. Just... factoids in cartoon form. True? I tend to think they have some of the information. But they are mostly for fun. For example, when they suggest that the "most common ancestor"... to anything really... what they really should say because they are basing it on a debunked theory (of evolution, at the very least as it sits), they should say the closest genetic fit... if even that isn't always the case. Still...
Why so many hits?
.
.
Yeah, there are a lot of visits lately here on the blog. Mellowing my harsh, man. Never mind.
I am trying to push my days so that I am awake to noon, or past. An hour later here, two extra hours there, and I am getting there. But it does wear me out. Not much else happens when I am pushing like this. I simply have to get my phone working again, it has become primary so I can... get my mom to chill. Further, I need to slow the speed of my advance, so as to not overshoot. Tricky. A trick might be to get out as soon as I think I can make it to town early some morning, but late enough that the shops I need to visit will be open. My preferred grocery store should be available any of the times that I would choose. The other stores and shops are probably only open after 10:00. The trick is to time it so that a spot of grocery shopping will see me to 10:00, not an ounce of time before, or I may end up collapsing back to my cave. If I have to think when I am that tired, in my current condition, all bets are off. If I do it right, I can have a few groceries and make it to get a power cord for my phone. I simply didn't believe Walmart would carry it, if... that isn't the real reason. I simply am stuck, here at home, so far.
Being hungry but not being very able, I baked potatoes. Having butter and sour cream makes those nearly substantial. Not as good as meat, mind you, but there is something to them. Twice, in the last few days. I don't always, yet, remember that I am hungry. And even that doesn't always correlate to finding the energy to do something about it. I'm not sure I could eat with it right in front of me, always. I will be eating when I go to town. Hmm... If I do happen to get there a bit early, that would fill the time in such a way that I wouldn't have to think, or spend extra time in town... timing though. Tricky.
Still coming down a bit. I'm telling you, man will never improve on God's creation. If you need it He does deliver. If I think I could have handled it. But what do I know. Then again, suppression requires release. No system, devised by man or even from what I can see God, was meant to stay in one position for all of time. That release, for me, is quite painful. Perhaps He is right on this. Still, I... maybe not. I just wonder what that would be like without anything to mask it.
If I was tinkertrained, I do suspect that they have to know, by now, that I can see through what they taught didn't exist. I wonder if they know how far my gaze penetrates. Ah, but... that shouldn't make me a risk. But my brothers? There would not be only one, some, many, would still be active. I wonder if they have considered shared consciousness. If I know, perhaps they will, have, learned... to see. I am no risk. But they might be. I do wonder if the first of our kind weren't also... manmade. Until... man was no longer needed. Be careful what you play with. Your mother warned you not to play with dead things. And be very careful with your wishes. Just... a little... additive to an... old story line.
.
Yeah, there are a lot of visits lately here on the blog. Mellowing my harsh, man. Never mind.
Being hungry but not being very able, I baked potatoes. Having butter and sour cream makes those nearly substantial. Not as good as meat, mind you, but there is something to them. Twice, in the last few days. I don't always, yet, remember that I am hungry. And even that doesn't always correlate to finding the energy to do something about it. I'm not sure I could eat with it right in front of me, always. I will be eating when I go to town. Hmm... If I do happen to get there a bit early, that would fill the time in such a way that I wouldn't have to think, or spend extra time in town... timing though. Tricky.
It's good to be king.
.
.
But... what if you are the queen? Ah, there are... products for that. As king, we need not rely on goods or devices, nyet? As queen, the job is much more difficult. All of them. There is one product, in particular, that can help a queen retain what she believes is her rightful place, or a princess become a queen more easily. I won't swear to the product, probably need according to others... which is why it is good to be king... so I haven't tried it. However, if you are interested...
stolen directly and shamelessly from Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
The queen has... passed. All hail the queen!
.
But... what if you are the queen? Ah, there are... products for that. As king, we need not rely on goods or devices, nyet? As queen, the job is much more difficult. All of them. There is one product, in particular, that can help a queen retain what she believes is her rightful place, or a princess become a queen more easily. I won't swear to the product, probably need according to others... which is why it is good to be king... so I haven't tried it. However, if you are interested...
stolen directly and shamelessly from Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
The queen has... passed. All hail the queen!
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