Up and at it, mostly.

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Something, something, and something else.  My mind is not quite in the game yet.  Yeah, sure, I went to bed early.  I even slept late and long.  Feeling good but still rather shot.  I am hoping things pull together a bit better before long.  Even with the minor setback with sleep today, having a goal gives me something... tangible, sort of.  I have other things I could target but they are too complicated, involved, or... fleshly.  I still don't have a great feel for... tactual things.  I can't quite wrap my mind around things of a physical nature, or manipulating them.  A trip to town is nicely vague enough that I can make sense of it and target it.  I just have to avoid thinking about... all the physical stuff involved with such a... venture. 

I have been trying to game more.  I don't favor the game I am playing, for my part, but it does require more than a simple tap on a keyboard.  Call it rehab, if you wish.  And it can help.  It probably is helping.  Better than reading, or simply watching a movie, as I am involved with the outcome, am forced to focus and plan, and to the extent possible, have skin in the game.  Plus, it keeps me right there near the stuff that needs unpacked, sorted, possibly washed, and then put away.  Just a little reminder for the eyes.

Ah, right, medicine.  Now to fill that out and begin taking it.  I don't balk at being on medicines, mostly.  Proof being in the pudding and improvements obvious, both in my life and through physical, blood, and other tests.  It is more starting or stopping them (sometimes).  These medicines are harsh, and riding that horse requires saddle sores to be hardened, nearly every time.  I had been stalling going back on medicines in the hope of being to an event last Friday.  I missed it anyway but would have probably had zero chance had I started medication almost any time earlier.  I can now begin trying to get that all together again.  I stopped the plan to restart but simply hadn't put getting back on medicine back in the queue after the event passed.  Tonight, probably.  I will at least put setting up medicines on the list.  It's a short list, if it is taking a long time to complete. 

The thing is, going back on medicine could very possibly lay me up for a month, two, maybe even three.  I probably won't go through the angst I just hit.  But I will be just as incapacitated, very possibly more so.  Currently I am having nearly full days, if the cycle is rotating rather than static.  I never know how long, or hard, I will go down when starting medicines.  You just don't know how frightening that is, living on your own, already near the bottom, and... it's like adding more weight to a horse already sandbagged to nearly being unable to walk or feed as is.  Yeah, I know, long term.  But, yeah, that... there is still the short term to suffer through and I haven't been up to more suffering yet. 

Well, on to... something.  Just a little update, some thoughts.  Later.