Thirsty devil.

.

.

No choice.  I have been chugging water since I woke.  Cold, plain perrier.  It is filling, with the carbonation.  But so thirsty, and regular water wasn't doing it.  It made me thirstier.  This stuff seems to take the edge off, for a bit.  Four bottles, couldn't seem to drink enough.  Perhaps this fifth will do the trick.

I just checked.  At 13:25 it is 84 out there.  Warming, in spite of the coverage, if the coverage is slowly yielding, evaporating away most likely.  I will sleep as much as I am able this weekend.  I really feel the need for it, and push through the week.  Push as hard as I am able.  I don't want to push on the weekends too.

The ducks where hollering for food.  But I fed them this morning.  I will more feed them this evening.  They have water.  So... I'm not worried.  Surprised, but Henry can hear me through the door and such, even when being quieter.  I'm not sure if they have as good of hearing as, say, dogs.  But they have reasonably good hearing.  *QUACK!*  Oh, he knew I was there.  *FOOD!*  I like his attitude.  :)  Yes, that does literally mean I am smiling.  I like that duck, daffy as he may be.  And pushy.

I am hoping I can get back to sleep.  I really didn't get much sleep "last night".  What, two hours, three?  I need sleep!  If I can't, I may go over the rules and grammar part of the Japanese workbook, this time taking notes, and realizing I can understand pretty much everything they are discussing.  It's slightly different in every language, but every language has exceptions, irregularities, allowances, and even changes made as people tend to change things.  Everything, to some degree, is populist.  It's more a matter of if the changes, from that populism, snap back or remain forever a new way forward.

As a fact, I have decided, while learning the phonetibets, I will save grammar and these sorts of things for the weekends.  Or, at least, hit them the first time on the weekends.  I am initially simply focusing on the symbols, alphabet, phonetbet, whatever you wish to the them.  I will start with a single lesson a day.  Though, as I get more adept, perhaps I may step it up to two lessons a day?  Not necessarily new lessons, perhaps just go over the lesson twice, and maybe add in previous lessons, as well, through the day.

I am not sure how much the mind can take.  Memory will be taxed, as well as the language part of the mind, and a few other areas may be taxed.  How much is too much?  I suppose immersion would be the most intense, especially if also learning on the side, in private.  At some point, the ego begins taking a hit... been there, done that.  As well, the frustration and anger grow.

I don't know how much is too much, or not anymore.  But I can choose to back off if it seems too much, or for a bit.  And I can also hit it harder if I have the capacity and things seem to be going well.  How much is too much, or too little, is always the question.  Is there even a "just right", though?  Goldy Locks suggested so, but she was a little thief!  Perhaps pushing further is the best.  While it hasn't gotten me far since illness, that I am still alive is because of it, I think.  Just pushing, even if it just wears you out, is better than not?  I... think so.

Hopefully, though, just sleep.  SO TIRED!  TIRED!  SLEEPY!  I could really use some shuteye.  Hmm... I may keep winter pj's near, in case I begin feeling cold again.  That was crazy... every blanket I used during winter, when it would get down to 50 or less up there!  Ugh.  Good afternoon, day, and night.

Freezing!

.

.

I was sleeping.  I didn't get to sleep until 10:05.  I remembered this time.  I can't remember when I woke, but it was only a few minutes ago.  While sleeping, I got cold.  So I added an extra blanket.  As time went on, I kept being cold.  So I added blanket after blanket.  I ended up with my whole winter packet of blankets on!  And I was still freezing!

I couldn't stay in bed.  Still tired, weary, sleepy.  I just couldn't sleep, too cold?

I checked outside.  Very unusual.  It is 74 out there.  At almost noon?  It is between hazy and cloudy, as yesterday.  If it looks more like cloudy than it did yesterday, by a bit?  It also, at least immediately, didn't smell smoky.  Though that might have been from a local small burn of some sort or other.  I just don't know.

The odd thing is, the ac's were only getting the room down to 73.  I just don't get that.  Either thing.  At only 74 outside, with a weak light from the sun, say 30 to 40 percent(?guestimating), it should be cooler, even cold, up there.  Doesn't make sense, any of it, to me.

Anyway, I got up because I had no choice.  My body was telling me I was in trouble.  I made a sandwich, turkey and munster, mayonnaise, and some of the better bread... as far as bread ever goes.  Nothing fancy, not much, but now that is all I have eaten in... about a day.  Still, shouldn't be cold.  Odd. 

Wow, cool out there.

.

.

While 45 might not sound that cool, given that the high yesterday was 96, that's over a fifty degree drop.  The sun is up, so that will change shortly.  I will do chores, as quickly as able, then probably go on to bed.  It's been a while since I have been able to sleep for long, or well.  If I get the opportunity, I'll take it.  hopefully it is cool enough upstairs.

I may try to do a bit of digging this morning?  No?  You know what?  No.  I... I am too tired.  I am ready to sleep.  I will only do chores.  Going on to bed after I finish those, taking as long as it takes.  I want to make sure the creatures are fed and have water for these harsh days.

So much music coming at me, and blog posts from the past.  People I thought no longer visited are back.  Yes, I can... sense your... nature.  Rafael, for one.  Though, not the only one.  A suspicion, if one I doubt is wrong.  As well, a woman I haven't seen in... wow.  It's been a while, A.  A long while.  Been busy?  *smile*

Many, visiting.  Makes me wonder if I am dying, and they know it.  Or... maybe, something is in the air, all around the world.  Checking in, saying hello, maybe goodbye?  Always welcome, in any case.  Be well, and good day.  Thanks for... reminding me.  Pray for prey?  Etc.  Good night.

One, two, three, four...

.

.

Hmm?  Oh... well... this.

Chores beat me up?

.

.

Yes.  Yes they did.  A few waterer changes, a few feed fillups, more duck feed for two of the pans, and water for the ducks.  It didn't take that long.  It shouldn't have been tiring.  But it was.  I had thought to refill waterers right away, but... no, not quite yet.  I had also thought to go around and collect the water bottles, now with water instead of ice in them.  But, no.  Perhaps, after a break, I will get to those things... together or with a break between.  It's as if my muscles burn.  I don't get it.

After a break, before more work, I'll grab a sandwich and maybe a few veggies... baby carrots, celery sticks, broccoli, or such... with or without peanut butter.  I have a peanut butter I think is reasonable.  No sugar, no globs of pseudo lard... palm oil?  Yes, but I think that will do.  That, peanuts, and salt.  It's as good as I have found.

When did I eat last?  Last night.  No, I've been eating bad stuff through the day.  Though not as much as might be thought.  There really isn't much to that, if it is all empty.  Meh.  Oh, I also bought kielbasa, have bratwursts, and got more sauerkraut, including the gooder kind now that I see it doesn't cause a sugar spike.  I just haven't been up on dishes, or really able to cook.  Could just grill them, and add the sauerkraut cold?  Yes, yes I could.  I'll think on it.  Later.

Much needed sleep was had.

.

.

I was able to read the preface, which wasn't about how hard the book was to write, or other self-centered notions.  It was completely about pronunciation, exceptions, and other such.  If, too, it was way ahead of... everything.  I thought it odd that they would preface everything with something about something that hadn't even been touched.  It was more than a bit baffling.

Except... it wasn't.  Having been instructed in at least three other languages, if mostly romance, and been a reasonable student of English, much of what I read actually made some sense.  There are... gaps.  Because some of what they wrote, they wrote in Japanese.  Now, while I didn't know the letters, I could pick up the difference between various ways of spelling, or additives for specific rules.  Much like for contractions, the difference between cannot and can't, the double end, or the blunt and slightly malformed "t" sound at the end of can't.

So, yes and... now.  I'll have to cover that section again, begin taking notes.  Still, it was a wall of words to start out what I thought was going to be simple copy practices.  All good.  I finished one of those lessons.  Copying... ten "letters", or sounds really.

In this section, they have five vowels, one consonant which can be sounded alone, and the rest are consonants with vowels to make another forty two sounds.  What did they call these?  Not an alphabet, so much as a phonetic library or... something like that.  I think both of their "alphabets" are like that.  This one I am starting with is based, generally, on Japanese derived words.  The other section is based on, primarily, foreign words.  And kanji is derived from Chinese symbols.

I didn't do the final review.  The first part through me off, and I was growing weary as was.  My next study will be just a second study of the material, as well as the review (which introduces simple words, using two... maybe up to three... of the phonetic symbols studied, put together).  That will be the plan going forward.  Two studies of the actual materials, then on the second study, also doing the review?  Or... maybe the review, too, both times?  I will just have to see how well I can do.

Not sure I remember anything, really.  But... how much should I remember?  Even writing the symbols... say forty times... and pronouncing them as I write them... didn't seem to cause a stick.  If, too, I was extremely confounded by that first, say, ten pages of written materials.  Which, too, I will have to review, and begin to make more sense of as I go through the book.  Then again, as well, I just woke up.

Still, things make much more sense for someone who has learned other languages.  For example, when they say 'x' (not x, just filling in since I can't write Japanese on this keyboard (or currently)) is as "a", in car, but shorter, I know exactly what they mean.  A guttural, fast, "a".  I am sure I will find some which aren't quite so easy.  Every language has words which aren't easily translated, r, f, and l can be three in Japanese I already know will take some tweaking.  For r, sometimes, it is a bit of an r if mostly an l, perhaps spoken as if speaking a t or even d.  And, it might even be pronounced slightly differently depending on placement and meaning?  Yeah.  For an idjit, I... have seen a few things.  Not that it means I could put them together.  We will see.  I like to think I had French down, German definitely.  But... who really knows.  The young always think... what they think.  *wink*

About time to check on the critters.  It is 58 to 60 out there, didn't look all that close, couldn't see well as sleepy as I still am, and memory isn't the best having just awaken.  Waterers are filled, save the single one I changed this afternoon.  I'll hold filling that until whatever else needs filling is brought in.  Should be an easy run, though maybe a few refills needed.  Possibly some food.  Oh, and I need to bring the bottles in.

Later.

Spooky out there.

.

.

It is 92, which is odd.  As I left the house, I was focused on the thermometer.  The temperature almost never goes down in the afternoon, not until the sun begins waning.  And it doesn't cool quickly at even that.  So, I was a bit taken aback.  I had to blink, and take stock around me.

Then, it... looked like clouds.  But... not.  Hazy.  Then, it became peculiar.  It isn't, or mostly, clouds?  It was like fog, but it couldn't be fog.  I am almost thinking there is a huge fire somewhere?  Somewhere very close?  Very strange.  And, unhealthy.  I got the sense that this isn't something I should be in.  It did smell smoky.  Those, is it a fire?  Or an inversion?  Too many vehicles, the precise weather conditions, and this?  Maybe.  But it is spooky out there.

If I had a way to shelter the animals, I would.  I just don't have anything I could do for them.  Animals seem heartier?  Or... live shorter lives so long term poisons and such don't build up enough to harm them as much?  Still, I worry about the critters in my care.  Sometimes, however, there is nothing I can do.

It is 85 in the computer room, 77 in the main room, a little cooler out back.  I may go on up and begin working on Japanese, where it is cool if not quiet.  Fans are loud, but worth the noise.  I'll turn on the other ac, too, while up there.  When it cools, possibly after a nap, after studies, I will do a second round of chores.  It isn't much, but it is something.  I do try.  I do what I can.  Later.

What a struggle.

.

.

I didn't, finally, get to bed until 06:16, I think... last I looked.  And I crashed pretty much immediately.  Why I remember the time this time, I can't be sure.  But I did.  I had set the alarm for 8:15, hoping to be able to wake.  To get going on getting the hitch lock cut?  And more?  I... who knows what anyone thinks at some points.

I then wrestled with waking for two hours!  It was brutal.  I reset the alarm, at two points.  I remember the second one going off, but not the third.  Not sure if it didn't go off or I just didn't hear it.  I woke a bit after it should have gone off.  It all looked as if it should have gone off, but I didn't hear it.  Then again, maybe I turned it off, then turned it back on, somehow... or in sleep dementia?

I woke at 13:00, pretty much exactly or very close.  It is already 95 out there.  I got the ducks a splash, and opened their food.  Then grabbed bottles of frozen water for the rabbits... who all seem to be handling the heat fairly well.  Even so, the less stress the better.  I roughly checked their water and food as well.  

One was completely out.  Sometimes they drink a whole bunch, all at once.  This one drank nearly 32 ounces since yesterday, and he usually only drinks a third of that.  Hey, I don't mind.  If he needs it, he needs it.  I only needed to replace his, but tonight there may be a few more close enough to change.  I don't want to change at half, but will at a quarter finished... backwash, ooh.

I am surprised I woke even now.  I think it is the heat.  While it registers 73 upstairs, it... the heat comes in, through that, and touches me.  It is 80 and 77 downstairs, never did get very cool last night.  I need stronger fans, and more of them.  Then again, it only got down to just below 60, and just at the end of the night.  Though, still, stronger and more fans would get more of that in, and more warm air out.  I think.  I'll find out soon.

Oh, music, last night.  The... responses... immediate and rather potent.  I don't know who plays the music game, but they play it well.  It wasn't all just on yt, it was from past blogs too.  Oh, yes, I... got it.  Not... that it is a real response, necessarily.  Think of it more as musical chess.  A play, a counter, a next move, and so on.  As well as the main moves, subtexts, side moves, having not just purpose, but meaning... though... sometimes... vague enough to not exactly yield what, or which, musical cue is being played.

I have suspicions who might, or even could, play.  Not always is the one who retorts the one who initially suggested something, or was targeted.  Though, who can really say.  Is it like feeding koi, in a pond, then not being always exactly sure which broke which circlet upon the surface in response?  Some even coming late to the feeding frenzy?  Maybe.  I... do enjoy.

Eyes are nearly rusted shut from the heat. Trying to blink some moisture to them, but they are having none of it.  I finally got the last of the scabs, from the leg wound, off.  Being such a good boy, not scratching, causing bleeding, and the dry weather, have made the removal clean.  All of the wounds have healed!  I... really fear leg wounds, at this point.  Those may, sooner or later, take the foot or leg... or life.  I don't mind life, but it is difficult to get that far along.  Even I might cry uncle before that.  Unless it went really bad, very quickly.  Fortunately or not, I am extremely resilient.

I have tried.  Few really understand the rarity of a loaded shotgun, in modern times, not going off.  Or that Draino usually kills any who take it, permanently.  Or what three months supplies of psychotropics do to people.  Or... what bleeding out half way, at the time of medical treatment, and a twenty to thirty minute ride with nothing extra but saline will do.  Even forcing me into a coma, and maintaining that for days, has an impact.  Things still aren't normal, from any of that.  And that... wasn't even all.  Plus, it was over a bad heart, which went untreated.  We all tried.  We all, at one time, agreed I should die.  We failed.  Odd.

I will die, someday.  Maybe soon.  Maybe not for decades, even yet.  But, I don't think I get to die easy.  At this point, I think?  I think I have earned that.  But, who knows.  I may slip in the tub and crush my skull without even flopping like a fish or knowing what hit me.  Death is funny that way.

I am hoping to get back to sleep as soon as I can.  I am wanting, probably needing, more sleep.  I just... the heat.  I am awake until I can... switch some things off.  And that will take cooler temps.  So, probably, not until this evening.  Later.

Ah. So...

.

.

I... have had this happen before.  Just, not quite like that.

I have been ignoring music, lately.  Then something popped.  If it wasn't what it seemed, and in an odd way.  Plus... a... sensation.  A knowing.  I... knew what it meant.  More, I... realized something from the past, only in a different way.  Odd how the world does such things.

As smooth as Ol' Grandad.

.

.

Was that the name of it?  I think gargling with sandpaper would be orders of magnitude smoother.  And, tonight is, in that same vein, smoother yet.  I can't believe it has been years since I drank a drop for pleasure or... recreation?  Smoking and chewing haven't been on the menu for longer still.

I would do this every day, or nearly, if I could.  Why?  While I may not have any actual current skills, this kind of work could get me money.  Even a couple of grand would be good.  But I am pretty sure I could work my way up, quickly.  Actually, at this point, my age would be a limiting factor.  Actually, at my age, they begin looking for anybody but me.

Then again, today... wasn't actually work.  Nothing I did today, all combined, even if collected into one run, would be classified as work.  It does, however, come closer to a day of work than I have been able to do since it got really hot.  It's one of my best summer days in a while.  Two better this year, at least, but those were much shorter, if harder.  Then again, endurance?

I may go on up to bed, after I dry.  Or not.  I need to.  Burning out, but there are things I wish to do.  Ugh.  Torn, now, between trying to push through, trying to nap, and being sure when I go down it might be days or a week before I get up?  Well, it feels like it.  It has been a while since I went down for even two days solid.

Yeah, I'll go on to bed.  Something really bad will happen if I don't.  Good night.

Yea? Right.

.

.

I... keep doing things.  Waterers filled.  Then I had to clean out some jugs.  Now I am going to take a shower, then air dry a bit.  While it is 59~60 out there, it's still 77 in here, near the machine.  But probably 73 to 75 in most of the rest of the house.  Upstairs seems cooler, but that's with both ac's going.

I finished the front yard, of course.  Then moved the sprinkler to where it will start next time.  I think, think I say, I will do the backyard tomorrow.  But a new line will be set up for there.  I am sure I have a sprinkler which will work for back there, and probably easily enough hose to serve it.  I might even be able to do two sprinklers on a line, and get it all at once.  Weed whipping would be good, mowing too maybe.  Not sure I am up to it, to do either of those in time.  It needs water.  Still, maybe.

Dying, but... there were things to do.  Hmm... might have a sandwich while drying off.  Going to bed wet absolutely stinks.  I hate doing that.  I'll get that shower going.  Then put some dishes in.  Yea.  Good night.

Always something.

.

.

I got most of the rabbits.  Then realized the little waterers were all empty.  So, yeah, I will have to do those.  Might as well do all of them, though.  But... wasn't quite up to pushing through.  So... I just stopped there, am sitting until the next run.  After changing water one more time, I will refill the waterers, all of them, was getting low on both sets, then get the rabbits in the outbuilding.

None of the rabbits were out.  And, last time I did water for the outbuilding, I set each rabbit up with two waterers.  There food should be good too, but I'll take it out, just in case.  I don't mind if the finish their food, and are empty for a bit.  I just don't want them to be completely out for too long.  Hey, I love my food too.

Always, always, more.  More, and other, and different, and wrong which must be fixed.  And so very tired.  So tired.

I have some books in, on Japanese.  The first things, almost all suggest to start with, are the Japanese letters.  They have two sets, each set has 46 letters? symbols?  But, if I hadn't mentioned, it then goes to kanjis.  Those are Chinese characters.  To be proficient, one needs to be able to at least read about 2,136 of those.  Well, and, they... aren't static, themselves.  Meaning, for example, Monday?  It starts with a kanji meaning moon, except when it is added to the kanji which means (or cause the moon and other such kanjis) to mean day, so it becomes Monday when put together, if both mean (or may) very different things in other configurations or on their own.  Check!

I am hoping to get rested to begin messing with this.  As mentioned, and again?, starting with the letters, memorizing.  I have workbooks to guide me through those.  As well, at least one has a link to online auditory libraries for the lessons... or... something.  I haven't quite sorted that out yet.  But, it's...  I have to books, I just need to be rested enough to do anything with them.

As well, I have actually found an online assortment of ecumenical Latin.  Actual classes, as well as pronunciations for Latin mass aspects.  So, I may begin in on that as well.  Not sure how much I can actually study a day.  The mind gets tired, just as the body does.  And, some aspects of the brain... it's like using biceps.  Language centers in the brain, lets say, are the biceps of the brain.  You can work the whole body, or brain, to some degree, or every other day.  But you don't want to overwork the body, or brain, part.  You can only do just so much.

Just as with the body, the brain can get stronger over time.  If I suspect age makes just how much stronger, more fit, or increased in endurance, either the body or the mind can get.  Still, that doesn't confront me none, long as I... get to it and stick to it to some degree.  Though I do suspect, that at points, studying two foreign languages at once will create resonance and distortion with one another.  Sometimes it will help, sometimes it will hurt.  If, I think, overall, it will help.  Just... I'll stagger beginning learning by a month or two.

Oh, on to changing the sprinkler, refilling waterers, and checking on the little ones out in the building.  Good night, probably, finally.  Ugh.  Sooooo tired!

-----------

Why do I keep blogging?  To help keep going.  As it turned out, no waterers were needed out there, or food.  Still, I sleep better having checked.  And those had to be done, sooner or later.  So, glad to have them done.  I like checking in on them, too.  Just... because.  It sounds like there is something hunting, or being hunted, out there... of the aviary sort.  Maybe both.  The sounds at night are really fascinating, if a bit spooky too.

I wanted to do the other waterers, but didn't have enough water in the pail.  So, I have to wait for this last sprinkler run.  Which is fine.  I am hoping to fill the pail, then let it run for the ducks, after sprinkling is finished, then fill the rest of the waterers while the ducks get a drink.

So very extremely terribly tired.  But I... will be satisfied.  Even if I don't end up filling the waterers, but doubly so if I do.  Good night?  

So very tired.

.

.

I did do the ride-along.  He had napped too, so was in better shape.  I was still exhausted.  It was 104, he worked out in it.  It was probably into the low 90's when I finished, then did shopping.  I went down around 14:00, and got up at... 20:00?  Or so.  Still just as sleepy as when I went down, to be honest.  Sucks to be old and ill.

I meant to do chores first, but started watering.  Actually, I seeded the parts of the yard with sparse patches, then started watering.  That bag will be enough for one more seeding.  Then I have another box of seed, that one with fertilizer.  I'm on my second of five zones.  Ugh.  Then I have to do chores.  Might do rabbits after this next change though.

The area I will be shoveling in, tomorrow or soon, will get hit down to where I dug tonight.  That should help me get in.  The rocks make it tough though.  But slightly muddy, damp, soil goes better with rocks than dry hard soil... as to shoveling.  I am also hoping to get the hitch lock off tomorrow, and maybe empty the trailer.  Soon.

One thing, problem, solution, at a time.  As and when possible.  I am dying, here, falling asleep while trying to make it through to take care of a few things.  Have you ever started twitching, from needing sleep?  I am well past that.  I've been doing it for a couple of days, often.

Some extra sleep this weekend.  Just... sleep as needed.  Well, after tomorrow.  I want to get up to see about getting the hitch lock cut off.  And, maybe, do some digging before that.  If it is too warm, I will skip the digging.  It is still 81 in here, and was that with everything off and much open to get air in.  Then again, that may have been about the temperature, outdoors, when I got home.  It can't cool if it doesn't cool?  Right.  Right.

Still, given that it is high summer, I have done what I can.  It has been a successful week, if I am absolutely mashed, as mashed as my favorite potato dish.  At least I don't care to be baked?  Definitely don't prefer to be baked.  Actually, I... do like to be mashed.  I may be a lightweight, but I give it all I've got.

Time to change the position and...  Something.  Oh, rabbits.  Ducks will just have to wait.  Though, after ducks, a shower...  Yes indeed.  Good night and... yea, just good night.

------------

Found the picks, and put them out for in the morning... maybe.  Not sure which one is better, or will feel better.  Assuming I can get to it.  I'm trying to be an optimist, on some things.  As well, the ducks were out.  I can't get them water, but I could and did open their food.

I had hoped to do the rabbits, but those things wore me down.  The next time I move the sprinkler, I'll get the rabbits.  Doing my best, just falling down tired.  So, things have to go in cycles.  I may make a sandwich and have kefir with it before bedtime too.  Oh, and I best put more perrier in the fridge.  I didn't have any cold after this morning.  And, yes, it helps.

I keep trying to drink more standard water, but it just makes me so thirsty, so fast.  I need to drink, and perrier is about what I can do.  That at sweetened tea, if tea drives my blood sugar higher... even higher.  I am down to what I've got that I can use, with side effects or costs, or both.

Oh, was arguing about when I ordered something.  I thought it was two days ago.  I was wrong.  It was yesterday.  So tired, memory sucks.  Do my best.  Then again, usually, when I order something, it takes days to weeks for it to even being being shipped, then moves glacially slow to get here.  This?  It's the first thing I have ordered that began shipment, must have been, almost immediately.  I was wrong on this one.  Then again, I wasn't worried.  This wasn't a major worry to be right or wrong regarding.  Just... good news?

Yea, that's it for tonight.  I'm almost sure.  Good night and... we'll just stick to good night. 

Rough.

.

.

I did get out.  Did a bit of shopping.  Didn't get the lock cut off the hitch.  I ran out of ability to stay awake.  It was so hot out.  I had ac running, so when I got home, after trying to cool off down here and failing completely, I simply retired almost immediately upstairs.  Crashing hard.

I set the alarm.  It woke me, but I was so trashed, I had to reset it.  I think I did it correctly, but don't remember it going off again.  Waking up almost an half hour after it was supposed to have gone off, finally, on my own.  And I wouldn't be awake if I had a choice.

Eyes are bleary.  Mind is out of focus.  Body is sleepy and tired, worn.  But I am awake.  It is, after this, the weekend.

I will be spreading grass seed, then watering the lawn tonight.  And doing one last bit of chores this evening.  Hopefully to do that all in as short of a time as possible.  So very tired!  I should get to sleep more this weekend, and earlier, or later, or... when I can, and as needed.

Later.

A bit of sleep.

.

.

Not as much as hoped.  But some.  I didn't use ac upstairs.  It was 79 when I went to bed, and 77 as I wake, while 58~60 outside as I wake.  I set the alarms.  One went off, but I turned it off immediately, as planned.  The other will be... I'll... get up and turn that off.  Beside being irritating to have it going off, and then every ten minutes for the next half hour as if I hit the snooze, it drains the batteries.

Partly cloudy out there, on the periphery.  Actually, more of the sky than I first thought.  The sun will most likely burn that off in a flash.  I won't be working in the yard today.  I'll... see what all is going on.  I just, won't be.  I do have a few other things I will try to sort out though.

I best get to chores, and a shower, before long.  I set an alarm, down here, for an hour.  Yes, that will do.  Then, perhaps, set up towels to be washed, to then be hung on the line before going on back to bed a bit later.  I turned one ac on this morning.  At 77 even now, it will be way to hot for sleep later, which I won't have a choice about.  Morning medicines are in, and the ducks are running around the house, the indian runners anyway.  They are the only ones which make noise, reminding me of my childhood, at recess.  I really do like those critters.

Oh, I should have some kefir and insulin.  That and shutting off the alarm upstairs, and checking the windows, to make sure I actually did close them... and not just dream I did.  Ugh.  Then on to looking over sites and sounds available through the web.  Good morning and day.

Crashing.

.

.

I had hoped to check on the rabbits.  They will just have to survive without that.  I am falling asleep.  I... can't get to it.  It's bedtime.  Good night.

Showered, shaved, dressed, and ready.

.

.

Yea, the smoothie checked the kefir sourness.  I may be having more of those until the kefir gets sorted a bit.  All good.  Besides, it's a cool drink for summer.  Kefir, while refrigerated, isn't... exactly... cool.  The texture can often make it seem more room temperature.  But in smoothie form, it is cool.  The frozen fruit does that.

Ducks were fed and watered.  The smallest ducklings are getting huge, and so very fast.  All good.  It is of the seven ducklings, probably, which I will be having for dinner.  Not all, I hope they aren't all drakes.  But, from among them, even if the are all hens, plus all drakes.

Sometimes shaving goes well, sometimes it is a bit rough.  Tonight it didn't go as well.  I didn't completely miss spots, but there are a few whiskers which really didn't get more than a bit of a cut.  Even so, I got a lot of nicks.  The razor blade has only been used once before, so that isn't it.  Just... one of those nights.  I am having trouble waking more fully today, for whatever reason.  The work?  Little as it was, today and yesterday... or the day before?  It really does catch up to me.

It should be about time to go, but... I don't know.  I heard something, an hour or two ago, but nothing since.  Getting late.  Oh well.  Tonight, if I can, I will try to get to bed early.  The only thing I want to do is to check the rabbits before bedtime.  Hey, I don't have much of a life.

Oh, there he is.  Later.

Up and at it.

.

.

It's been an hour since I woke, maybe an half hour.  Still a bit off.  Feeling good, just having a bit of a push to wake up fully.  Blood sugar is 188 fasting.  But then, I lost track of insulin for a bit.  If food too, so it sort of works that way.  It comes back down fairly quickly if I have been doing reasonably well with food.

Food?  Right.  A meal five out of seven days, I'd guess.  Not the best of foods, but something.  And, I should be back on kefir.  It's a bit strong this time, so... I don't know.  I'll keep consuming it, in smaller amounts.  Summers make it ferment much quicker and more bitter.  But I thought I took care of that.

Then again, it stat empty for a couple of weeks, or very low.  So the cultures got a bit tight.  It may take a couple of redos to get it all back into trim.  Ugh.  Actually, I think I'll just have kefir tonight, rather than a regular meal.  Perhaps a fruit smoothie with it, to get paste the extra sourness.

I've been continuing to take heart medicine like clockwork.  I best check the post office to see if my updated new medicine is in.  It's the same stuff, just double the dose.  I haven't been checking bp, won't until I start the new stuff, then give it a week of daily checking... as well as possible.

I am also trying to do some work each morning.  I don't know about chopping a whole log each day.  Perhaps, in time, I can work up to it.  Though and then again, I did a goodly bit of raking, and some digging, before I started on chopping this morning.  No more than an half hour total, probably?  About that.  If I could do that four or five days a week, winter, summer, and else, I'd be happy.  Then add a bit indoors, every day.  Though... figure out how to make food prep and house cleaning a part of the norm too?

Then again, if I could have done that, I would have long ago.  No one wants to live like an animal.  Anyway...  I did enjoy working this morning.  And I do chores regularly, small as they are.  I just haven't been able to do them on any kind of static schedule.  Not sure how people work, to be honest.  That is beyond my capacity by far.

Well, on to a shower.  Maybe a shave.  Good afternoon.

A bit.

.

.

I went out and got to some things.  I started digging.  I got about a three foot by two foot by six inch beginning to a pit dug.  I started hitting too many rocks.  Actually, I hit rocks from the start, medium to fist sized, my fist.  I ran out of steam with that.  Just couldn't do more.

Still, I wanted to do raking.  I did what is more hay mixed with smaller branches.  I cleared one side of my back porch.  It had been twigs, mostly, but hay had settled in among the twigs.  That was as much as was possible, so I went on to piles of pure twigs.  Ugh, those were wet, from watering last night.  Still, I was able to get two piles brought into a single pile, perhaps even over another pile?

That was as much as I could do.  It wasn't too hot, it was cool.  I doubt if it was 65 yet, out there.  Ducks were fed, and I let the water run for them, for some of the time I worked.  Rabbits were fed around 03:30~04:30, and a quick check showed them to be in good shape.

I am hoping to catch my breath, and get a shower in.  Perhaps make a call or two.  I am trying to catch up, take care of business, get arranged, and... get going.  I didn't do much work, this morning.  But much more than I thought was going to get done.  And I am, probably, not quite finished.  I am done with anything physical, except a shower.  Yes, that is physical, as tired as I have become.  But, maybe, I can do a few more things.

Oh, I'll have kefir too.  Blood sugar was pretty good, given I am sort of just back on insulin again, and am not eating the best, if only once per day, mostly.  But, yes, kefir.  Along with medicine for tonight, since my sleep schedule is off again.  Taking water pills before bedtime is not the best.  Later.  Or, again, maybe, good night... and day.

Never did get to bed.

.

.

In part, while I set a timer to change the sprinkler placement, I... missed, often.  I probably overshot watering three times.  How long?  Can't be sure.  I just couldn't remember that I had just hit the alarm, while in the middle of something else.  I don't think it was too awful.  I used to water an hour at a time, per area.  So... nowhere near that bad.

Oh, and I found a small raccoon out back, when turning off the water.  They are creepy looking little dudes at night.  I really wonder if it, or it's parents, weren't the problem with missing ducklings.  Though, now, I think the adults protect the young, and have the strength to do so... at least against certain predators.  The reason they weren't catching it earlier, was ducks really aren't night creatures.  They sleep, nap, at night.

Why else I suspect the adults are on guard, now, is when I have approached the young, all of the elders go out to the edges, getting the younglings in, even the indian runners.  The mommas and poppas take quads around, and more.  It's rather impressive.  I am pretty sure I wouldn't want three or four fifteen to thirty pound birds beating wings and beaks on me.  Now, I can get through them, but I weigh 300.  But a ten pound critter?  Not so much.

I had hoped to get to work this morning, but I don't think so.  I did check on the rabbits during the night, changing water, adding food where needed.  More like nearly morning.  And I will hit the ducks with fresh water, though their food looked good this morning.  Still, I'll check, again.

Oh, and the smallest ducklings have finally gotten large enough to get into the feed.  As such, they have exploded in size in the just the last few days.  I did put food out for them, but that was nothing compared to what was in the trays.  The little porkers are really stouting up.  All good.  I may see about creating a better feeding area for any other ducklings which might be hatching sooner or later.  An area adults, and even the larger ducklings can't get to.  The adults preferred food on the ground.  And would eat the duckling feed quickly, THEN go to the trays.  Gah!

It was about 54 out this morning.  I don't think it will get cooler.  Maybe a dip, right first thing as the sun comes up.  Sometimes the mountains let go of their cold and cool and chill the valley a bit as air movement starts in.  Sometimes not.  I really would like to work, but I think I've about had it for the day.  Bedtime.

Good night, God bless, don't die.  If you do, may you suffer it well.  Oh, and good day, while at it.  Man, I really want to work.  Hmm... might try something or other?  Oh, could drill holes in the pole, for the hammock.  And... maybe... try to dig a bit around a problem area.  Not sure I can dig much, but... can see.  Even a few shovels might be good for me.  Yeah, but good night.  I won't be back.  Maybe to check views, or visit as site, as I crash?  But... yeah... good night.

The sprinkler is going.

.

.

I am thinking about getting another sprinkler going.  I may have one, or not.  It was too dark by the time I got on it to bother looking around.  It would be good to have one small one going in the back yard, and the big one in the front yard.  I am sure there is enough water pressure for two, maybe three.  I wouldn't water any more, just faster.  And, actually, probably less.  As, with three, or even two, going at the same time, there would be less gpm out of each, no way around that.

The back yard is already done.  I just started on the front yard.  Before I water the next time, I'll put out more seed, then water over it.  There is some small sprouts, but I wouldn't say a lot.  Though, perhaps in the thicker areas it has helped?  That might just be the moisture.  But, half of the lawn is looking much, much better.  If even the worse portion is at least green, if partly bald.

I may get on up to bed after I finish.  Or get a shower in, then to bed.  No need, quite yet, to shave yet.  Twice a week, close as possible, and that does pretty good.  Oh, I... have had better reactions from women, being close shaven.  A younger woman, today, almost put her hands to me.  I could see it in her eyes.  Most men don't shave that close, even several days out now.  Oh, well, not me... more my face.  She was fascinated?  Seemed so.  I backed up, or turned my head and pulled back a bit, or such, just a hair, and she came to her senses.  Women are so... weird.

Anyway...  The hope is a finishing the lawn, a shower, maybe towels in the wash, and on to bed.  With a further hope of waking early... five or six.  To get out and do more work.  Raking the smaller twigs in a few larger piles, perhaps beginning digging something that needs dug, and, maybe, trying to contact someone to help with getting the ball hitch lock cut off.

Anything else tomorrow?  No.  Most other things I want to do will have to wait until next month.  Money that can be spent, has been spent.  Groceries, and a car wash, would be good.  But... that's about it.  And light on groceries.  More burger, lettuce, a few veggies for soups and roasts, less than $50, is the goal.

I am getting tired.  So sleep should be good, and maybe easy and quick.  One can hope.  Good night, most likely.

I... did some things.

.

.

Checks banked, balance obtained.  A new ball hitch lock obtained.  Shoes returned.  And?  I... think that was it.  I could do no more.  I began failing, quickly.  Even with ac, it was just getting far too hot.  Probably along with the work done today, slowly building up.  Still, quite pleased.

Now to find out how to get the old lock off the rig.  I asked at the shop, where I purchased new.  A welder, cutting torch actually I would guess, but I got the point, wasn't going to belabor terminology.  I... understood.  I may know someone who has the kit.  I am not quite up to calling today, because I am failing, and he might be Johnny on the spot, and it may take an hour or two, as I become an ice cream cone in the sun.  Ain't gonna make it.

Still, very happy with what happened, and what... may continue to happen.  Working early, while it is cool, is fairly reasonable.  I don't think I wore myself out, too badly.  I tried to pace, rather than just shove.  And I did fairly well, if it was slow.  Glacially slow.  But, work got done.  And a nice little allotment of it.  Plus to town.  Ugh.

On my way home, my mother called.  Just to talk.  She wants me to get an app which allows face to face communication.  I'm... not into apps.  Don't trust, any of them.  Still, it's what I've got.  And, if she wants that, I'll do it.  I... now... can't remember the name of the stupid thing!  I'll call here soon, and just leave a message.  Have her message back, with the name, so I don't forget.  Mostly.  Gah!

She recommended I stay up.  But, as mentioned, I am melting.  Further?  I have to be awake for a run tonight.  Oh, and watering tonight, then probably Thursday or Friday again.  To do all of my yard, of which I am watering for now, takes an hour and an half.  Still, all good.  A timer wouldn't really do any good, as I have the physically move the sprinkler.  I am using a single one, at the moment.  I wonder if I have another, whole one, around somewhere.  That might help, I think it could do two, but probably no more?  Anyway...

Later.  Good... night, actually.  And good afternoon and day.  It is already 84 to 86 out there, not quite a quarter past noon.  Yea, good night.

Some more.

.

.

I got the trailer filled.  Went to put on the ball hitch.  Couldn't find the pin which holds it, so checked on the suv.  Yep, it was there.  But it is keyed.  I, of course, can't find the key.  If nothing else, I have to buy a new pin.  I am hoping a sawzall, with a metal cutting blade, will get the pin off.  I may see if there is some other method... say a metal punch and small sledge hammer?

I did get several more piles of the intermediate branches, the last of the medium branches, picked up and put in.  All that remains, if in several places, are smaller branches.  Wait... no.  There is a stack of those, too, on the other side of the driveway.  But, on the west side, and the vast majority, yes.

As well, I have grabbed a smaller trash can and a empty feed bag.  I put the feed bag in, as well as it would go, then started shoveling rabbit pellets... poop type... in.  That works okay.  A smaller trash bin would be better.  I have it mostly fully.  It was just a proof of concept thing.  I can work on that in the next few days, or weeks.  Filling bags, then figuring out how to sew up the bags, and stack those somewhere dry, for fertilizer gifts for whoever will take them.  Well, and some on the patch of growy things I have on east side, but that won't take but maybe one bag.  I'll bet I could get five to ten bags of merde set up.  Good stuff for gardeners.  Hmm, might not be bad for the yard, either?

Now to get into town.  I have a few things to do.  A bit worn, and it is beginning to heat up.  But... in I'll go, I think.  And, perhaps, when I return, I may make a call or two.  Trying to get to something.  Stuck between heat, light, exhaustion, illness, and else.  But... doing alright so far this morning.

I will need to sleep, soon.  I have the ac on upstairs, it was 73 when I switched things over.  But it seems to be heating up fast out there.  Well... on to town.  Good morning, and day.

Urhm? Well, awake still.

.

.

I checked outside a bit ago.  It was 50!  Quite nice.  So, I moved the wheelbarrow with logs over to the unloading zone and unloaded.  Then I began raking the area I want to move the rabbit cages and hutch over.  It is shadier, on that side of the tree.  And, set with lengths facing east and west with the open short front and back facing south and north, they will get the optimized cool air and greatest shade during the day.

I was about to begin loading the wheelbarrow when the ducks decided it was breakfast time.  And, given the work area is in the immediate vicinity of their breakfast zone, I came on in.  I will get out in a bit, and begin loading the wheelbarrow.  I might be able to do two wheelbarrow loads?  Three?  After, a break.

Though, I do hope, if I can get that loaded, that I can then get the trailer over to the green drop zone and unload it.  If I can do any more work out there, it might be to begin raking the yard, pulling looser piles and individual twigs over into a singular pile for picking up later.  Work is much easier when it is cooler.

Though, really, I best close up the cave before it starts warming.  This front room, even with the machine on all night, is at 72.  Quite nice.  I left windows and fans on upstairs.  I haven't been up to see what that is, but will get up, shut it all down, and begin the ac, at least one, probably to the west so the sun isn't hitting that side.

I may try to do a bit more yet today.  Some dishes, towels which can be line dried, and maybe some picking up and breaking down boxes... moving a few more out?  Hey, if I could have done this before, I would have.  I have simply been in a tough way.  I'd work every day if I could.  Or... as many as possible.  Today is the day!

Oh... as to Japanese?  I... did order a few things.  From several sources, it was suggested to start with Hiragana and Katakana, so I ordered several books of these, two various takes.  And, for next month, I have several books, of more humble aspirations.  I can always obtain more academic tomes, and probably will at some point.  Each either has audio with it, or available through the author.

I now dream of a visit to Japan.  Though I think it would be just asking to be buried in people, they way they are might... make that reasonable.  It, I might suggest, is why they are the way they are.  How can you be human, and live buried in humans?  By appearing very polite.  Though, I think, with lethal consequences for any who can't stay within that.  The mask of civilization is far thinner, but far stronger, than in America, or even Europe.  When it breaks though?

Of course, they have closed their boarders.  I am not even sure about the Olympics.  Maybe.  Then again, I am not looking for a trip next month.  It would take years for me to save for such a visit.  Japan and the coast of Australia were my last two hoped places to visit.  Australia, the place I wanted to visit, is no more.  I would no more visit Australia than I would visit Detroit.  But, for now, so far, Japan is a place I would still visit.  Once, or if, the mask falsity, and covid baloney, ends.  As with Utah, Japan is exceptionally... bureaucratic.  And, in times of... confusion... that can be a bad place to live.  Or if you piss them off.

The reason I would like to visit Japan, isn't as a... friend.  But as a once enemy.  That will never change.  But, it has changed.  It isn't as a wolf, visiting sheep, or sheep visiting the wolf... all participants are a bit of both.  Or more, or less.  It is to remember what my father did there, and what happened all around, and let go... I think in part for him?  But, to see what he couldn't have seen in his day, or even in his life.

Something.

.

.

Nothing fancy.  A can of sardines, the last of the cream in a fatted coffee, and insulin.  Now I just have to let that settle, then on to bed.  Tired enough, just not sleepy.  I will set the alarm, for... six and eight?  Yeah.  It isn't enough sleep.  Even so, it might do.

The goal is to do chores first thing.  Then do some yardwork.  Move the last of the logs over to the side area they are currently being collected.  Then begin raking up the yard, and putting a wheelbarrow or two full of twigs in the trailer.  Then, hopefully, empty that.

That would probably be as much as I can do.  Though, if possible, filling a last wheelbarrow, and getting most or all branches piled for one, eventual, last load.  The goal is to have the yard done by this week.  And, maybe, get the rabbit hutches all moved to a better place.  Further, maybe setting up the last set of cages and getting all of the minis out to the outbuilding.  The rabbits seem to do better in the outbuilding, so I am putting the smaller, possibly weaker, rabbits out there.

The bucks seem to be... anxious to meet the girl bunnies.  Which is fine.  I just don't want them working on babies quite yet.  Too hot.  Depending on how the rest of the summer goes, I really don't think breeding will happen  until mid to late August, or more likely early September.  I have two males, I think, of each sort.  And... five smaller does, and three larger does.  I don't want to breed all at once.  There are limits on the males, my time to manage, and I am not sure how many rabbits I can process at once, and how many rabbits others would want.

If things work out, I could see, in time, getting two does going a month?  Though I would probably need an extra open feeder cage.  Possibly doing smaller litters in one, and the larger rabbits in the other.  If no one else claims them, I would have to cull them when they reach a certain age.  I could attempt to sell them, for food or pets, but... that... doesn't seem to work all that well.  I don't think they are worth the cost of feed, except as a food backup plan... much like silver, gold, and diamonds.  Highly liquid in some scenarios.  But in those scenarios, getting one's throat cut for that liquidity is just as likely.  Understand business, hunger, and desires.  Though, even then, you won't always see it coming.  And, if you do, are you willing to kill them all, if you are alone?  Trust me, they have already started coming for me.

Well, a bit of reading and listening, then on to bed.  Good night.

Done.

.

.

An hour ago, actually.  Been sitting... trying to... figure out the world.  Stay up a bit?  Sleep?  Not feeling the best.  Even so, I'm not sure what to do.  I'm think, as quickly as possible, on to bed though.

I turned off the ac's upstairs, and am just letting the fans do what they can.  I'd like to get more fans, for upstairs, and down.  One for the back area, or two?  And another for the front room.  Square window fans for the back area, a standing fan for the front room, and maybe a smaller square fan or two for upstairs.

If I could cool the place enough with fans, and outside air, that would be good.  But I don't think that is truly possible.  Especially this front room, the other front room, and upstairs.  This part of the world is just too hot.  It only gets down, currently, into the 60's.  That just isn't enough to cool this house off.

My friend suggested it was 96 where he was working, and it never did cloud over where he was at.  Strange.  I'm not sure how that was even possible.  Though he was further out of the area at one point, perhaps even as far as the next state over.  But that is still strange.  From how hot things were in the house, I don't think the temp dropped much.  It did cool to 76 by mid to later afternoon, which is unusual.  But... that didn't seem to mean much.

Sleep, if I can.  Sleep would be fantastic.  I need something to eat, and a bit more insulin.  I need fast and slow acting, with food.  Ugh.  Oh, and I would like to check on the rabbits.  Just a late check, but replacing food and water as required.  I try to keep up on them, and then some, in this heat.

Rabbits, food and insulins, then to bed.  Good night.

It doesn't make sense.

.

.

It is down to 76 out there.  Yea, that is way down.  How long has it been that cool?  I can't say, if I suspect most of the day?  It was overcast.  It isn't now.  Did it warm up since the sky cleared?  Though, sometimes, even with clouds, it can end up warmer than one would suspect.  I just don't know.

What I do know is the house is hot, for some reason.  It shouldn't be.  Though humidity is up.  But that still doesn't make sense.

Anyway, I have opened up a bit, and am getting the ducks water.  I will check the rabbits when I get home.  And, hopefully, get, go on to bed early.  Not that that allows me to wake early.  But there is always the hope.  It is infuriating to have it cooler outdoors and have that make it just as hot or hotter inside.  It was 75 upstairs, with both ac's, and is 77 with one.  Bleh.  Hmm... may just open up upstairs, and just have fans going?

Later.

Shower and shave, almost dressed.

.

.

I'll tell you, showering and shaving after a bit too long off is a joy.  Now that I am shaving more regularly, I am getting better at it.  I can feel my face, and find any missed whiskers.  As to getting them, there is some limit.  Though I would wager most men aren't half as closely shaven as I am, and twice a week usually.

I do wonder if shaving will improve even more?  There may simply be some limits, due to how some whiskers lay at an angle to the skin, so that getting closer will take too much skin?  Then again, I am not working the skin, pulling, pinching, stretching. Up to point, I have been afraid to do so.  But, now, that I can shave better without cutting now, or even burning the skin quite as bad, I might begin working the skin?  I'm still afraid.  Then again, I was afraid to start, and look where I am now.  I may, if I get the skin pulling down, begin reconsidering a straight razor.  Gotta admit, fear was part of the holdup, that and sharpening.  But a straight razor, or three, would be nearly free shaving for life.  Never another blade bought.  And, probably, sharper than what I am using?

Well, I best get my shorts and shoes on.  Never can tell when the driver will appear.  And I am hungry.  Hmm, now that I am on insulin, I'll get a dose ready for tonight.  Yeah.  I usually take waters, and a minor pack for possibilities.  Life is easy, if you pay attention to small details.  *grins*

Oh, I best check the outdoors too, and maybe open up the cave a bit.  Later.

When to bed?

.

.

I can't remember.  It was still actually morning hours, before noon, well before noon.  I am think 08:00, but I just can't be sure.  That might have been yesterday, or one of the days before.  I tried to remember.  I turned the phone off, checking the time first, then plugging it in.  Then checked the alarm clock time.  And, actually, before that, checked the time on the computer as I was shutting it down, and the little alarm clock I keep down there by the computer, to make sure the time is right.  Still, no memory remains.

I don't remember waking?  Oh, yes, there were a few times.  I took morning medicines, in the morning, though early enough I thought they wouldn't force out so much fluid.  But they did.  I may have to switch medicine, morning and night, until I can rearrange my sleep schedule.  Still, the reason my leg is healing is because I don't have excess water build up.

My ankles and feet do get slightly swollen, though wearing even a regular pair of socks mostly prevents that.  Odd.  I drink a lot less, more like, maybe a gallon? gallon and a half?  But that is sum total, with no caffeine.  And, often, with kefir... which isn't really a fluid... just fluid like.  So I don't think a quart of that a day is even really like water, tea, or coffee at all.  Well, and no sweeteners these days, usually.  Once in a blue moon I'll add a few drops of the stuff to kefir, or make a rare coffee.

Oh, it looks like it is overcast out there!  The hurricane season is yielding extras for the interior, it looks.  I haven't seen if it has rained during the day.  That would be impressive.  At night, I suppose.  But in the day?  Humidity is up to 46%, up at least 11%.  Though, earlier, we had a time were the meter couldn't measure humidity.  So... a very strange summer.  As mentioned, this is August weather, and a wet August at that.  Often we receive clouds in August, but no rain more than otherwise.

I'm not even sure if it has had cooling affect outside.  Inside not so much, at least being closed up.  It is 82 in this front room, 77 in the main, and 75 upstairs.  Not sure why the upstairs is so warm.  It was 73 when I went to bed.  Odd that I remember that, but not the time.  So be it.

Ah, but I did handle chores before going to bed.  After a shower and shave, I'll get the ducks water, and open their food bins.  Well, and look at the grass.  I am hoping it is doing something.  Greening a bit, perhaps.  Watering front and back, seeded once, seeding again at the end of the week.  Trying to get that to thicken.  Won't be mowing for a while, just let it grow thick, for now.

I can't be sure I have slept long, but it feels like it.  I am guessing from around 08:00 to 10:00, to 17:00?  Oh, well, that isn't all that long of a sleep, is it?  Nine hours at worst.  I wasn't chilled this time, if I still needed a warmer blanket.  Very strange.  On to a shower and shave, and then sorting out the weather and lawn, birds and rabbits, and getting ready for this evening.  Good day.

A few things.

.

.

Trash and recycling out, and to the curb.  Chores, including the rabbits, done.  Medicine taken, including slow acting insulin much earlier, and morning meds a while ago.  Hopefully early enough that it won't bother sleep.  Plus a final meal for the night, with fast acting insulin.  My last read was 141, so it looks like I am dosing about right... for now.

It is 08:35.  It was 60 outside, the last time I looked.  And that is as cool as I have seen it all night.  I had hoped the rain would cool things more, but not so much.  

I had hoped to shower and shave.  It didn't work out.  I am crashing.  At least I got the trash and recycling out.  Though, as mentioned, I am not sure today is the pickup day.  But all of my neighbors look to have their barrels out.  Though they may just be going by habit, not knowledge.

So very tired.  I'm going on to bed.  Good... morning, day, and night.

Ugh.

.

.

Not doing really good.  Better?  Maybe.

I did get chores, and the cats fed and tended.  I even made food for myself.  Medicine has been taken, including insulin.  However, I am still having problems.  Breathing, getting air, enough air.  Feeling extremely exhausted after doing little things, like chores.  That headache remains.

I need to get trash and recycling out tonight.  Though, probably, the trucks won't drive tomorrow?  Or, is it only a three day weekend?  I just don't know.  I do see my neighbors have their barrels out.  So I will probably simply follow suit.  I don't have a lot to get out, but... enough to make it worth it, plus anything else that is out there already.

While I was finishing watering the back lawn, I felt sprinkles where there shouldn't be water.  There was no way the sprinkler could be spraying that far.  As I finished, I realized it had to be sprinkling.  I didn't think we would get much.  And, so far, probably haven't.  Last I looked.  The ground was at least all wetted.  Very unusual.  We almost never get water this time of year.

No, no, not global warming.  I don't believe it has anything to do with weather changes, actually.  It has to do with weather shifting.  The downfall of production, probably in every country, has changed where weather will be, striations by latitude and longitude, held in place by decades or even centuries of production have switched off.

It wouldn't at all surprise me to learn they have developed means of... altering the weather.  But, when everything else changes, raw heat production and raw sun reflection, etc., all change all over the world, pretty much at once, I don't think they have the tech to fix that.  Actually, I think the governments are working together, including so-called enemies, such as the US, Russia, China, India, and Europe.  No choice.  Speculation, but I believe so.

I haven't been able to do much.  I have, mostly, been looking over Japanese sources.  As well, I began looking for Latin sources.  As it turns out, the two types aren't academic and church, exactly, but ecclesiastic and classical.  Further, the church, or ecclesiastical form, isn't dead.  It is being used by the church, and to describe modern creations and perhaps ideas.

For example, the ecclesiastic form has a word for computers, well, and trains, airplanes, the space station, and else.  It is what, among other things, the pope writes in.  He has to have words for modern understandings.  Which makes academic insistence on classical Latin more funny than not.  They insist on the dead part of the language, ignoring the functioning, newer, living, aspect of the language.  In other words, they are presuming a form of conservativism which is a mockery of... then again, that is academia.  Especially these days.  Dead.

Well, I best get the girls another meal set out.  Then get on to trash and recycling.  As well, get a shower and maybe a shave going.  Ugh.  Later, or good night.

No clue.

.

.

Bedtime?  After 08:00?  Before 07:00, 11:00?  I... simply don't know.  The sun was up, but it is up around 06:30?  06:00?  I... can't be sure.  I woke... around 17:30, or 18:30.  No... 17:30.  I had a discrepancy in time pieces... I just solved it.  So, yes, I have been awake for an hour.

I started on insulin a bit ago, again.  It has been staying around 200 to 225, off insulin, eating one meal a day.  I hadn't been eating kefir, just drinking water and a meal a day.  Sometimes a larger meal, though I missed food a day or three a week.  It had gotten up to over 300 with a larger meat yesterday, so I hit it pretty hard.  But not extremely hard, with insulin.  It dropped to 78 within an hour!  I was so cold!  I took a roll of carb tabs immediately.  I didn't feel bad, but I knew if I didn't do something, I was about to feel really bad.

It fell hard and fast.  So much so I was shivering in the computer room, which was still 76.  Brutal.  That is what finally chased me to bed... the cold!  I still didn't want to sleep in too warm of an environment.  Even if it felt cold, I suspected I would get heatsick from it.  So I kept things going to keep it around 73.  However, I ended up having to bundle up in three blankets, and would have added another if I could have found one.  It was down there, just... so tired!  I... did what I could, shivering all night.

Blood sugar is at about 225 this "morning".  I still feel off, as I have been.  Hoping to push through.  I set a few of the pots and pans to soak last night, and will hit them shortly.  Food tonight?  Something, somehow.  I did reset all of the kefir.  I'll put up what is ready as soon as it is ready, checking each jar twice a day.  Some of it just ripens faster, some of it takes days.  It's... an odd thing.  

Each jar has it's own little system going, and works faster or slower.  Perhaps one gets a draft, so ferments slower?  One has more of one or several sorts of bacteria or yeast, so goes faster?  I can't be certain.  But, it is set up.  Even so, it takes a couple days in the fridge before it is good to consume, as I see things.  First it has to be cool enough, second, it really needs to finish fermenting... a cold finish.

I suppose I could get a can of sardines.  I try to eat a couple of those a week.  More an edible vitamin than a taste treat.  I need to get back to cooking, to get liver back on the menu.  Liver, bacon, and onion is actually okay.  I tease that it is fantastic.  Though, sometimes, if it's been a while, it can be.  But, when it becomes a regular item, it can get a bit boring.  Just the truth.  Hmm... you know... wilting greens on top, sometimes, might help?  Variety...

Hungry, again.

.

.

Food helped.  It just didn't last.  I'm considering what might be made in short order.  I could pull meat out to thaw.  Should I, is the question.  If I can't get to cooking, it'll go bad, like the last few batches I pulled.  At least I only pulled some out.  I did cook the bratwursts, but chicken and a pork roast went bad and out.

If I clean the pots, then... maybe.  I may try to do that.  But... I really do need food.  I've been going without for a bit long.  A meal a day just doesn't cut it, regardless of more extreme temps.  Though I think the lack of food, itself, is a symptom, not the actual problem.  When things go south, and they collect and add, then it gets rough fast.

I am trying to fight for a bit more.  It may mean eating food that isn't the best for me.  A tuna and mac meal isn't keto at all, but it is food I can manage, and quickly.  Bleh.  And, I like it.  Mostly.  I could also set kefir back up.  Much of it is gone.  And what remains might not be in the best shape.  I don't have to dump all of it, but maybe some of it.  Then begin resetting, but not all at once.

Resetting it all at once would make it become too strong.  Say, three jugs today, then more in two days?  And depending on how fast it sours.  If it does so in a day, all of it, then I'd way three days, plus give what is in the fridge a day to cure in there.  Tricky, catching up.  But it'll work.  If I need extra milk, to catch up, the trick is to try to get out to get more.  Not always, certainly not recently, possible.  But I... can try.

Yeah, on to some food, and setting up some pots.  If I do get those set up, then finished washing, I'll pull a few small packages... chicken out to thaw, and a roast in the fridge to thaw more slowly.  Perhaps one pack of brats, to grill tomorrow... today actually.  It is the fourth, after all.  Later, or good night.