A better sleep.

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Seven and an half hours, as I went to sleep instantly and woke quickly, of sleep.  Even through the hot of the day.  I don't know how hot.  For all I know it clouded over so didn't heat all that much.  I slept very well, waking once, an hour or two before waking.  Neither could more fully wake nor was the desire there.  Too tired still.  Didn't have to look at the clock.

Breakfast first thing.  Buttered cabbage and a fatted coffee.  Since I am not able to eat much, or afford much in the way of meat, I am using full cups of cream, but just two a day, plus maybe an half cup with chia and flax.  While butter has solid calories, a tab per quarter of cabbage isn't much, what of it you can keep in the cabbage.  I forgot to test blood sugar, but am sure enough to dose.  And night medicine is going down.  I am back on track with all that.

I used pillows to elevate my feet and ankles while I slept.  I'm a tosser and turner, so it's a bit more... involved.  Still, if I am not too exhausted when I crash, and conditions while sleeping are reasonable, I can program in my desire, and basic instructions and specs, and my body will mind simple things like this.  There was only one manual reset, but because the pillow had fallen off the end of the bed.  Okay fine, I woke twice.

Windows are open, fans going.  It won't cool all that much, but cool air will travel through.  It is 75 F, about an half to midnight.  Warm, but so be it.  Tonight?  The main batch of dishes, a shower, laundry, and cleaning the bathroom.  Perhaps more sitting work here in the living room.  I am hoping to do the curtain brackets upstairs today or tomorrow, then put the curtains up.  It will take a full day or two just on curtains.  Remember, on top of the simple doing is the mechanics of figuring the angles for cutting the bracket standoffs, each angle potentially unique.  I want that so as to put ac up there and begin sleeping up there.  It is verging on being too hot.

Yeah.  It may make clearing and cleaning my main bedroom much easier.  I am going to take a serious stab at getting my home recalibrated, and a day schedule going.  I am going to push it until these things are had or I break.  I suspect I will break.  If I can do it that is.

A bit of waking then on to dishes.  Good... day.

A few last things.

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Not the big ticket items, just little things.  Resetting one of the smaller loads of dishes, resetting medicine and taking the morning medicine.  I was able to squeeze medicine for Friday in through the night.  Oh, added the 3.125 mg carvedilol twice a day.  Started out at once a day for the first week after I found them, two weeks?  Anyway, no extra side effects, so I added the potential extra dose.  She was probably right to add tiny.  Meds break my balls.

I am amazed at how much room I created in here.  It makes me want  to stay up and just hit it.  It won't work that way.  Do you ever remember being at a restaurant, and rather broke?  So you order the least expensive thing.  You have no choice but to dine there, travel lets say.  And while you are looking at your paltry queer little meal, a great big thick hank of ribeye strolls by?  That is a very rough estimation of me, work, and a cleaner house.  I'll enjoy my humble bits.  It's... not bad.

I am failing too fast to catch.  It is 12:16, as I finish.  I wouldn't remember.  Twelve or thirteen up.  Warming too fast.  Good day and night.
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Actually, bedtime is at 15:05.  I got lost awake.  Good night.

Had to sleep a bit more.

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Sometimes I can pop up after a nap, sometimes I  have spend a few hours waking.  This time was the latter.  I had a meal right after waking, a fatted tea.  Then a chia cereal, half dose.  Blood sugar was 174 after sleep if that isn't fasting.  A dose of insulin with both, full 10 cc dose, as the meals were three hours apart.  A bit tight, but no ill effects so far.

I am hoping to begin working.  Clearing a side table, cleaning the bathroom, and doing the larger cache of dirty dishes.  They are soaking, a fresh soapy soak started shortly after waking.  If I can do that, then a shower, perhaps a shave.  That is a lot more work than it sounds.  I doubt I can do that in two days.  Even so, that is the goal.  Sometimes it happens.

I'll need boxes, in order to sort or throw.  I don't have to beg, borrow, or steal.  I'll use the smaller ones for trash.  Ugh.  If I can just... begin.  I am awake much more often, more fully, if irregularly.  I don't need regularity, I do need concentration, focus, the ability to align will power and the flesh.  Something is broken in there.  Still, there is now.  It is often all that I have.

Oh, I will attempt to cut sweeteners again.  Yes, I know, I keep going through this same issue.  The problem is, I can't drink enough fluid to stay mostly hydrated without it, especially on the water pills.  As with food, my addiction is a necessity.  I have tried other sweeteners, with less success.  Either I don't taste sweetness, there are too potent of after tastes, or there is a stronger glucose hit.  As is, with sucradrops... essentially liquid Splenda... the blood sugar spike is rather mild and only occasional, even when abused, used in every tea and coffee for a few days.

I suppose.  To the table.  Hmm, I do believe opening the cave up a bit would be good.  Fresh cool air, and some air freshening as possible.  Later.
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Oops.  Through the magic of walking off without remembering to post, time, and some willpower, the side table has been gone through and roughly dusted.  Room was made under it so as to mre reasonably sport a chair, which means the chair itself will no longer be easily used as another surface.

Pieces and parts, bobbles, tools, and... more other items remain.  I have a small box of various gun kit, and an outdoors box.  The rest?  Well, I don't know.  Some of it is as with the boxed, but too big.  Or, as with butane and liquid lighter fluids, I don't want to box those.  Perhaps fire kit may find their own little box, with those, flint and steel, striker rods, and else.

More, I cleared my chair side table.  Again just mostly.  I actually have breathing room.  I will take a break, then I hope to hit the dishes and then a shower.  That may be about it.  While still looking rough, anyone who visited recently would see some effort.  Oh, I also collected a lot of mail, tore much of it down, and will eventually shred it.

Not bad.  A tiny start on a huge home.  But... it is a start.  I really would do this daily, if I could.  Boring?  Perhaps.  But there is something satisfying to it.  And a clean home would be a treasure.  I am hoping to do a bit more in here before moving on to the bathroom, then kitchen, the bedroom, back here, then the front room.  If I can go just fast enoygh to not fall behind...  uhrm, that's a prayer.

And, finally, at 98, a blood sugar I can live with.  Later.

Heat is back.

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It is getting to the 80s, F, at least.  In the cave it is cooler, by ten to fifteen degrees.  It isn't much.  I need to get an ac going.  Sleep, even so, will be a victim.  Winter kills wakefulness, summer kills sleep.  With or without cooling or extra heating.  It's more how much and strong the sun is than temps.

I somehow lost another day of medicine in there?  Wait, no.  I slipped a night of meds.  But slept through much of today.  Sleep schedule is off, making everything wonky.  I might still be able to figure the meds out.  Heat groggy though.  It's a difficult world right now.

Life isn't supposed to be easy, but it should be possible.  I'll keep trying.  165 fasting.  I won't bother with bp until I can be on meds a week straight.  Swelling is reduced, if for no good reason.  Later.

Not bad, mostly.

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Blood sugar is, without much food so little insulin, staying right at the mid 160s.  Even when I eat then use insulin there is little affect.  It seems to require multiples of uses, and with food.  So I really have to eat more.  I thought I would do a check, just to prove it.  Of course, it dropped to 126 three hours after breakfast.  I will have a bowl of chia and flax, a smaller serving, no nuts or preserves, or insulin.

Swelling in my feet and ankles continues, even on five furosemide 40 mg tabs.  I am doubtful, from more and more evidence, that my heart actually improved.  Trying to push things doesn't work, sleep is still off, the swelling especially drinking much less and taking five water pills two days running.  I do do, every half hour to an hour.  The volume is down, but the frequency is similar or greater.

Yeah, cereal, afternoon meds, then back to bed.  Later, much later.

A better day, save that...

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It can't be a better day.  It is still the same day.  Sleep, what I could have of it.  Waking after six hours, with twelve to eighteen hours up.  Hmm, actually that was about the schedule on submarines.  Only there was no flexibility.  If you missed your sleep rotation, you had to lose that six hours and wouldn't get another sleep cycle for twelve hours after that.  I sleep when I can and must, often at the convergence of those.

Still, six hours was enough.  As the world heats, sleep will become more difficult.  I need a new ac, the one that fits in the bedroom window is broken.  I have considered sleeping upstairs, but I would need to install curtains and figure other things out.  Not quite up to it.  On the list, even if I didn't sleep up there.

I need to try to more fully wake, or sleep a bit longer, more, in a bit.  The hope is to get going on housework, perhaps figure out curtains.  The windows, upstairs... walls, are v-notched.  I am not sure the curtains or rods will cover the flat interior walls.  Perhaps brace mockups, 2x4s cut at an angle, then attached.  Each angle might well be custom.  And while there is drywall, I am not sure if there is wood behind it or if just masonry and rock.  A... complicated production.

I haven't be able to eat, so I haven't been using insulin.  Blood sugar is up for it.  The body is quite strange.  I haven't checked bp since it was so elevated.  Giving it time, for medicine to work.  As well, in spite of drinking less, my feet and ankles are swelling.  I tried three pills, but that wasn't working so updosed to five pills.  It isn't salt, haven't been eating.  Most pains have gone or eased.

The town fire alarm is going.  I always wonder what is up.  I can't afford a scanner currently, and apps seem both questionable as to whether they work, and requiring to much access.  Why would a scanner app, or any app, need access to pictures, voice, record, even location.  Answer, none of them do.  It is data collection for the writer and whoever they have given backdoor access through their services to.  Well, and whoever can hack their feeble security.

Later.  Or much later.

Rough, tough, mean.

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Awake twelve hours and it feels like days.  Eyes burn, the innards feel like someone removed them, blended them, then poured them back in.  Kidneys don't hurt as much, perhaps just in comparison?  Toast.  Blood sugar is being goofy, high.  I am going to hold the fiber supplement until I can stabilize blood sugar, then test.  Something is wrong.

No work.  I will fill out the form,set it for easy retrieval, then text about where to find it.  Then I have to crash.  I am really going down hard, but it has nothing to do with blood sugar dropping.  And it isn't that high.  It may be that summer has finally hit.  It is getting into the eighties.  It might go to the nineties.  It is about that time.

Perhaps a shower before bed.  It will cool me off, and short hair dries almost immediately.  Good morning, day, and night.

Another night.

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How many of you remember the Statler Brothers?  Counting Flowers on the Walls?  The song was always sad.  I knew, one day, it would be me.  Even as a child, I understood many things.  Uhrm, assuming I survived that long.  Whether with a woman or alone, though even at a very young age I knew being married wasn't always different from being alone.  Sometimes, often?, being alone is less brutal.

I never would have believed I would be doing it for so long.  Most can't or won't survive it.  I had both working against me and more, sometimes all at the same time.  There are no prizes for a long life, not earthly ones.  Especially not painful lives.  Though I do believe patient suffering provides something, even here?  I am not patient you say?  You simply don't get it, or refuse to understand.

When I texted then spoke with my brother, he didn't remember towns or pets from our youth.  He remembered some of high school, but we lived in different homes by then.  It is so strange to be so alone in what should be mutual memories.  As mentioned, I remember things from as early as when I was three.

I don't remember every town, Sioux Rapids?  I think it was there I opened a car door and got out in traffic, at a slower speed.  I wanted to find my mom.  She was recovering from back surgery.  She was probably never told and no one else remembers.  It was winter?  Traffic wasn't going fast.  I lived a charmed life.

I remember many of our pets, but not all.  We had many dogs.  I still suspect mother got rid of them, by hook or crook, when times got tight or the pet became inconvenient.  No reason asking, if I have.  Didn't believe her denials.  One or two dogs might head out, get hit, or such.  Not every single one.  At least it ended at pets.

Today?  I am hoping to hit, perhaps finish, dishes, laundry, and paperwork for ssd.  Perhaps part of another bill.  I have almost... well definitely... fallen behind.  If I can keep it to a minor and partial failure, I should be able to clear that deck next month.  I reset my doctor appointment for August instead of this coming month or it would have been far too tight.  Ugh.  Later.

An add, for comments sakes.

Almost a miracle.

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I can't do more.  Getting ill.  The chills, headache, pushed.  I was able to speak with my brother.  Texted first.  Gladly he likes texting as much as I do.  I don't.  Got the car payment in, and insurance is fixed.  Changed a doctor appointment to next month.  The shower and shave as well, no small effort in my current condition.  Meds taken.  Insulin, food.  Oh, I have to feed and water the ducks.

I didn't get the paperwork done.  I fluffed laundry but didn't complete it.  I'll get there.  I will feed the cats, and do their litter.  The fiber is in, stopped at the post on my return home.  I may do a first dose of that as I go to bed.  Good night.

A bit better.

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Blood pressure improved, to 169/112 and pulse of 79 after a few hours.  Blood sugar also continued to drop.  It was 112 about four hours after breakfast, with only that one dose of insulin.  I can't believe bp rose so fast.  Oh, I just found the 3.125 mg carvedilol tabs.  For some reason I thought they were being sent as well.  I have them added.

A shave, laundry tumbled, then a rest and some calls.  A new form of appeal, with more medical information.  It can't hurt to try.  I'm actually not sure what all is wrong.  Diabetes, heart obviously if blood pressure goes that high from missing a single day of medication, and that after getting back on it, stage three nearly four renal failure(?)... kidney failure.  What else?  Technically stratospheric cholesterol, and they are claiming I have ptsd which I didn't share.

The V.A. must be involved in that.  I am surprised they would say that, they worked hard at suggesting it was ptsd without a known cause, which they specifically called some form of dissociation... if they did... would... treat as standard ptsd.  They don't let most in that club.  Tested me for it, in great depth.  Didn't want to treat.  Their rules required it.  Distrustful much?  Both ways.

Anyway.  Fill it out today?  Ugh.  I will try.  I have other business as well though.  And I am catching, like the needle on a record, something snagging somewhere.  Still, I will try.  I'm not dead yet.  Oh, and a personal call.  I want... I want back in with my brother.  It is a cold world, even with family.  More so without.

Good morning and day.

Stats are stupid.

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Blood sugar did drop, 139 after breakfast.  But that isn't great.  I hope to have one more meal for the day in an hour or so.  As well, I may have a fatted tea.  I will check again, but if it is the same or lower, no insulin.  While I won't tolerate 180, I will try 150 as the top number.  Below that no insulin.  I will try it for a week.  If it fails I will go back to what works, risks and all.

A mentioned, I missed bp medicine a full day ago, for a full day.  I have taken last night's and the morning's medicine... if just.  Even so, bp was ridiculous.  It was 197/120, though pulse was okay at 81.  One day drop and it is as if I haven't been on meds for days?  I have much on my mind, things to do.  But that much?

A shave first, right after this.  A shower if I can stand long enough.  As I go in, I'll put the clothes to a fluff and bring them for folding while I rest.  It's a start.  I hope to make a call today, and do at least two more pieces of business.  If possible.  I feel better, but the stats don't suggest it.  That sort of bp, after a good night of sleep, a reasonable breakfast, and time to digest, is to die for.  I'll check again in an hour.  Later.

Up for a bit.

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I think I finally slept a full cycle.  Hopefully this means I can be awake for a fuller day.  To 16:00 if a sixteen hour day can be had.  I have been rabbit cycling.  Six to eight hours down and awake.  It complicates things.  Fasting blood sugar was 180.  Totally unsatisfactory.  Won't do.

Her method just won't work.  Letting it run to even 150 may be too high.  While it is true that I can't chase fasting blood sugar with fast acting insulin, not keeping a tight rein leads to a terrible reading.  Yes, 180 fasting is terrible.  Especially since it had been into the 130s before allowing her to add input.

I waited four hours to begin breakfast.  A fatted coffee as I write, bacon just reheated, crisped.  And the pan for the eggs heated.  Oh, and a small remainder of chia, flax, and sugar-free strawberry preserves reheated with tea.  Actually, eggs are on, bacon is done, and, ding.  Breakfast!  And a healthy dose of insulin.

A wonderful breakfast.  A blood draw in several hours, a final meal several hours after.  Impossible to intermittent fast until I obtain a regular schedule and an ability to understand time.  I suppose it isn't bad for someone mostly in the grave.  I do what I can, and when.

A shower and shave before long.  Laundry is all dry, so perhaps dealing with that.  I missed a day of medicine because sleep has been so intense.  I become confused when I wake and sleep multiple times a day, more so over multiple days.  The minds ability to handle time passage becomes broken, as do other sorts of psychic functions.

I was sure.

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And I was wrong.  However, paranoia serves.  So, when able, I called.  Insurance, on my newer vehicle.  The dealership wouldn't let me leave the lot without an insurance card. That meant we had both spoken, the dealership rep and myself, with the insurance company.  They sent a card for each vehicle.

Done, right?  I had this nagging feeling that it wasn't.  It wasn't.  Why is it I no longer trust anyone, group, company, agency, else?  Oh, right.  So, am setting it up now. -  All set up.  Now, today or tomorrow, in to town.  Always something.  Trying to stay on top of life is difficult.  How do people living real lives do it!?!

A few things.  Now a shower, fatted tea, and I am failing.  I am crashing.  Not in the diabetic way, just the usual.  I may see about finding a home for the ducks.  I can't keep up.  Later, probably much later.

Too little sleep.

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A side effect of the glucose tabs was a sudden spring in my step.  The stuff woke me.  As well, I became terribly hungry?  Very strange, but well worth the effect... pretty much an immediate cessation of the symptoms of falling blood sugar.  I used the recommended four tabs.

Next time I will try two tabs, as well a bit of food.  I wasn't expecting the hunger, so wasn't braced against it.  I will be next time, if willpower isn't always a perfect defense against powerful natural ebbs and flows.  Blood sugar jumped a hundred points exactly.  I believe that was mostly the tabs.  Oh, it is a lower blood sugar, and what I am eating, which makes 70 ~ 75 F even feel frigid.  The tabs warmed me right up.  Fasting blood sugar has come down to 164.  Not perfect, but a start.

I did eventually get a call to my mother, but just a scant few words on her way into work, yesterday?  She called just a bit before I woke today, so I called her back.  Happily we connected without too much rush.  She is better, but the shingles will leave a mark.  Behind her eye isn't hurting any more.  Now she knows what a demon that illness is.  I still would rather she had taken my word for it.  But you know women!

Kidneys feel less inflamed, but that comes and goes.  Still not regular.  I ate a whole cabbage the other day!  And bowls of chia and flax.  Something bound up in there.  Perhaps not enough fat?  I haven't been doing fatted teas or coffees.  I have been cutting calories as well, generally speaking.

Oh, my aunt wanted me to have her new number, part of why my mother called.  I... had best take a hint.  Not today.  But since I am awake I will hit a few things.  I feel like death, not even warmed over, if at least not so frigid even with the cave having dropped to 70, at the time I woke.  The carbs, they warm.

A fatted coffee shortly, medicine and cold tea, then a shower as tea brews.  Later.

It really doesn't make sense.

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I tested an hour and a half after supper.  At 154 it seemed really high.  Keto food, sardines and chia and flax with half and half.  A normal dose with dinner.  It seemed wrong, but I know better than to take even a small dose of extra insulin even with food.  I decided to wait another hour.  It dropped to 99!  Yeah, I guess it just takes longer sometimes.  But why?  The food wasn't overly high in protein, only four total carbs max.  It wasn't complex food, even the sardines were well fatted in olive oil.  Something just isn't working inside.

I can go on to bed.  I'm not worried about it crashing anymore.  Would probably wake anyway.  I found the glucose tabs, or were they in the newer batch?  Anyway, I have set it up so that if I feel that dying feeling I will get some down.  I have to mentally prepare or I could get lost in such a moment.  Nastily dangerous, lethal.  My guess is the 54 drop... I was lucky...  The 59 wasn't much better.  But I am getting to the point were I can tell it is dropping too quickly, even before the meter will show it.  Tunnel vision, the shakes, probably go pale, nausea, and chill... worse than usual lately, as much as a couple hours before I hit bottom.  I just couldn't find the gluc tabs.  Now I have them.

Tomorrow, a start?  Calls, bills, medicine, things?  Good night.
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 Okay, maybe not to bed.  I decided to wait an hour and a half more, or rather I got lost in wakefulness.  Blood sugar dropped more, to 77.  That is awfully close, especially while trending lower, and starting to feel rough.  Four carb tabs, but I want to see what this does.  Not sure I can stay awake.  Ugh.

That didn't work.

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Not sure if this has been attempted before.  I tried to not eat, just using insulin when the numbers suggested, on the reset terms.  For whatever reason, using insulin while fasting doesn't work, most of the time.  It either did nothing, blood sugar went up, or it went down.  About a third of the time for each, or it failed to lower blood sugar two thirds of the time.

So?  Back to eating.  As keto and calorie conscious as possible on top of that.  I still feel the need to void.  Kidneys are hurting like hell, regardless if my docs say you can't feel them.  Ever been rabbit punched?  You can feel them.  Even my testes are sore.  I suppose a she would suggest you can't feel those either?  More chia and flax.

I have actually somehow gained weight, while both adding fiber and needing to use three furosemide 40 mg tabs and still getting leg and feet swelling.  I have gained five pounds, by my scale, until a few days ago, since checking after seeing my doctor.  That with fasting in there and having cut fluid to a gallon and an half from more like two to four.

Legs are sore.  Muscles.  No where else.  Migraines are transitory, part of why the fasting.  Some months I really wonder why I don't die.  If anyone has earned a ride on that train...  I can't commit suicide, or let the doctors give me bad medicine.  I am obliged, willingly at this time regardless of the pain and confusion.  It is a holy obligation.  If I am for life, how could I not be for my own?  It starts at home, and doesn't involve quality of life.  Sometimes suffering is all there is.

Sardines and chia plus flax, separate meals by a bit, might not sound all that good, but it actually isn't too bad.  Sardines first.  The near-beer cereal last, as it keeps the sardines in their place.  Something about sardines, as if they were still trying to swim once downed.  Hunger, even as weak as that can be on keto, adds a special yum to almost anything.

Later or good night.  I'd like to do a few more hours and a final read.  If possible.

I can't seem to shake it.

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Quit?  No.  Realize I am, for the moment, licked and alone?  That is simply facing reality. The torso seems a bit better.  But it has been replaced with the makings of a migraine. No matter, if I can work I will.  I am absolutely freezing, too.  Life gets tough.  Not much to do about it.  I have to figure things out.

Blood sugar is 84 waking from a nap.  It usually goes up through sleep, had been 148 a bit before sleep.  Average is 122 weekly.  I am in all sorts of trouble.  I am not exactly sure what to do.  Later.

A strange night.

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It was 48 F or so at around midnight.  Fasting blood sugar was 157, after a first meal and insulin, it was 114.  Later it was 124.  I forgot to check before the recent meal, will check as I go to bed.  It is a strange, dark, night.  Most pains have eased, but my chest hurts.  The bad sort of hurt, or so I am told.

I figured out this new brand of chia.  It takes much longer to swell into a pudding.  The last brand, if I used hot tea, would fluff in fifteen minutes to an half hour.  This brand takes an hour.  On the good side, at least there is a way.  And it is just as good as the other brand, when given the time, but costs half as much.

The indoor thermometer reads 71.6, but it is freezing.  Well, feels like it.  I want to stay up to 5:00, then take a nap.  I want to wake by 8:00 or 9:00, then do some work and make a few calls.  Hopefully get back to days.  It's a complicated mess of a life.  There is hope.

More sleep.

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Sometimes I have a choice, sometimes not one way or the other.  I had no choice this time.  I didn't see it coming.  The countdown started as soon as I woke.  So much so that I forgot medicine and aspirin.  After just waking, I took medicine right away.  I will skip the aspirin as I hurt enough less, down to the three to four out of ten mark.

Sleep was quite good, much needed.  If I could catch up on sleep and bm's, life would be at zero sum.  It would be easier to get back to work.  I will work when possible.  I still feel like going back to bed, as when I woke this morning.  And it might happen.  Again without choice.  I would like to stay awake long enough to take night pills, about six hours... or until 1:00.

Rough.  I had to push it to make it to medical.  I... my days and nights, this weather... 42  F last night.  It might have gotten colder, but it got at least that cold.  At 19:30, it is already down to 68.  Heat isn't staying well, even with hours of sun left.  Something was already wrong in the world of men.

Now, if in opposition to what man claims, the world of nature is cracking, breaking, ripping.  It is easily seen, and on most continents.  At this rate a mini ice age will be getting off light.  Too bad co2 doesn't actually warm the planet, or cranking it out would be a plan.  Hanging scientists and politicians who have destroyed economies with what I am sure they know were lies should end up hung though.  They have and are wasting fortunes and resources for a grab at a one nation world government.  Evil.

Well, on to something.  Later.

A real sleep.

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Eight hours, give or take five or ten.  It required the fan blowing at medium high.  And it really isn't enough sleep.  It is all I could get with the sun out and outside temps climbing into the mid 70s.  My stomach hurt through the night and into the day.  Even while sleeping, when I would near waking or the cats would maraud, I could feel it.  I thought cabbage would help, plus volume of the meal.  I will try chia this morning.

The pain, after some pushing and prodding to find exact locations, are on the exact sides, midtorso actually just below the ribs, as well as a third in from either side, but lower into the lower abdominal areas.  Aspirin again with medicine.  I don't use it every day, do I?  But much more frequently.  If extra chia and ground flax, minus nuts which I suspect would bind while whatever else is wrong is happening, doesn't help, I may try grind psyllum husk I have and adding that in until their stuff arrives.

Oh, I need to call in.  The doc shorted me on insulin.  And, actually, doing even mostly as she asks may require even higher doses of insulin.  Eating fuller meals, or letting blood sugar be higher, and definitely both, requires double and triple the insulin dose if control is reduced even so.  Choices.  If she wants blood sugar below 180, I either have to seriously restrict food or heavily dose.  If she wants a fasting blood sugar below 120, only my way works, which is more insulin use efficient but requires more than she is offering.  Her way will probably take three vials a month.  I know... I prefer her way, eating-wise.  Didn't have enough insulin to do it that way.  Still don't.  Wasn't given enough to do it the efficient way either.  So either I have to cut doses and not hit those requested blood sugar numbers or they have to send enough.  Choices.  Not in my control.  Personally, I think they forget to take my size into account.  Bigger animal, larger doses.

I called my mother yesterday.  Twice.  The first time her phone was off or out of range.  The second time it rang, but was quickly sent to messaging.  I'll try one more time, then leave it to her.

Later.
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She answered but was heading into work.  A quick short talk.  Oh, and the sideaches, when I stand, actually the pain goes back to the kidney areas.  Just... notes.

Now it is bedtime.

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I wanted to do a blood sugar test before sleep, but took insulin late.  I based insulin on consumption, having forgotten to do a premeal reading.  Must have hit it just about right, 111 is the final blood sugar read for the day, and the only one.  I'll have to remember to do that, and blood pressure reads again.  I figure two bp checks a day, with every other blood sugar, say "morning" and "lunch" or "dinner", perhaps alternatively.

The towels should be dry.  I may just give them a short spin extra, as I go to sleep.

Yes, I still hurt.  Not sure, hoping extra fiber will help.  At this point, that is almost certainly the problem.  Good night.