Bedtime.

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I've been pushing to get my days twisted to form, but it is working.  Almost 19:00.  I may want to take a nap tomorrow later morning.  Just to make sure I have enough wind in my sails to see me through the later hour and a large meal.  They serve good food.  Last time I was a bit timid.  This time, I may eat a bit more.  Don't want to be a complete hog, but, want to encourage the chef!

I finished the other half of the spaghetti squash.  Difficult to imagine that those are so easy to cook.  Perhaps I thought they were too high in fast acting carbs?  I'll begin having a couple of squash a month, of various sorts.  I'm not thinking the spaghetti squash would actually be a good replacement for spaghetti noodles.  But it is good just as it is.

Sassy has been fed, her litter tended at least twice today.  Teeth have been brushed twice, and will be hit again.  My meals aren't sticking well with intermittent fasting.  Then again, the big meal, later in the day, is coming up.  So... I suppose, until that is had, no good pushing or pulling that.  Besides, when I am pushing days and nights around, my ability to focus on much else is limited.

Spaghetti squash.

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I didn't make spaghetti sauce for it, marinara if you prefer.  With or without meat, I just wanted to try it on it's own.  I had half of it earlier, will finish off the second half shortly.  After I heat it.  A rather sweet dish, to be honest.  Same with the butternut squash.  I couldn't see adding sugar to that.  Then again, when you cut almost all sugars and even faster carbs, your tastes change.

Gaming, mostly, today.  A knock on my door, earlier.  I answered it, since I was mostly ready for mild company.  Ah, a reminder about dinner tomorrow.  I have alarms, one yet today, two tomorrow.  Should be good to go.  I'll try to get a shower much earlier in the day.  Brushing my teeth three times a day, just in case.  And gargling the better stuff.

A bit later?

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Had to push, a bit, but made it to 03:30 and change.  Got up, made my bed... I'm loving having that warm bed to lay down in, it does improve things, a lot.  Then dressed, at least in house clothing... wouldn't go out in most of it.  Perhaps around the yard, or to a drive-through, but not in a store proper.

Housecoat, long sleeve t, muscle shirt over that, heavy pj bottoms (could pass for sweat-slacks, but still), socks and shoes... untied mind you.  My unders are those ex officios.  I try different sizes and styles.  These are true boxer briefs.  Pricey, but so easy to handle.  Can wear them a few days, if life isn't going my way and choices are slim.  And they... hold up well.  Then, just walk right into the shower with them, wash them in there, hand them to dry, and have them ready the next day if need be.

For a cripple, these underwear are fantastic.  As good for a cripple as a traveler.  And, really, just a few pair would probably last four or five years.  Half a dozen may well last my lifetime.  Especially if I shower more than less?  We'll see.

17:15

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So very tired.  Still, trying to push a little later.  A few hours?  An hour even, would be good.

I will turn the electric blanket on.  Then game a bit more.  Oh, and feed Sassy.  Check her litter.

It's been rough the last few days, pushing through.  A shower today, brushing my teeth.  I'll hit them one more time before bedtime.  Consumed a good lot of kefir.  What is fermenting currently is more than I have space for, in the big jars.  So I'll probably have to have another round or two tomorrow, before resetting them.

Very good though.  I sure like that stuff.  And, I have been eating it raw, no sweeteners.  I am beginning to back off those.  I have thought about quitting coffee and tea, but I haven't seen that help all that much.  Plus, the coffee gives me a means of getting cream in my diet, which is a very good source of almost pure fat.  As keto as it gets.

I am also nearly done with the first run-through of the game.  There is a new game plus version, which I am considering.  There were missable quests which I did miss.  I would like to get the platinum trophy in the game.  Though, this time, I will study the trophies first.  Know what to do, and save at key points to make sure I can do the right things (or multiples with a reload if necessary).

Ugh.  So very crazily tired.  Up to turn on the electric blanket, then perhaps another cup of kefir.  Checking Sassy's needs and wants.  A bit of gaming.  Then on to bed.  Good day, evening, and goodnight.

Red to yellow.

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I keep thinking of the dream.  Dream?  The... experience.  As I was doing so, I remembered other women.  I have written about this before.  Women who didn't end up giving me children.  Loves who slipped away, or who I just... lost... in time.  Some may well have had children, mine, ours.  I just don't know.  Some, there was no chance.  But there was, for a time, hope.

Cleared up.

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So very bright out there, now.  It went from a frozen haunted land, to a crisp but searingly bright day.  A visitor had his back to the sun, even so, it got to him.  I backed into the shade, but it was getting to me.  The atmosphere went from a sun block to a intensifying lens.  Almost gave me a headache.

Trimmed my beard, and got a shower, before the visit.  So... look almost human.  Been brushing my teeth, too.  The house might look like heck, but I am cleaned up.

As well, after, while upstairs, I did make the bed back up.  I so love going to bed, where it has been slightly warmed.  And, as mentioned, I now lay my pillows out individually, so they each get warmed as well.  Sleep is easier, quicker, lasts longer.  I would turn the thing on at night, but I would have to crawl out, and down, to the end of my bed, then fumble with it.  

The cord isn't... direct.  There is the plug to the wall, going to the control.  Then wire from that to the blanket.  Not sure how to twist it around, or under, the mattresses, or where everything would fit, at the top of the bed... at the head of it.  Though it might be nice, late at night, when I have kicked blankets off and can't figure things out without having to wake.  I may sort that, when I go up to turn it on tonight.

It is warming, in this front room, again.  But just to 65 so far.  That cold just ate the heat out of here.  It was very strange, wicked cold.  Hopefully it will warm back up.

I'm thinking of making taco salad shortly.  Hungry, but not... of flesh... not belly hungry.  Hungry for want to eat, for it's own purposes.  Still, I know it is time to eat.  I need some food.  Nothing fancy.  Hopefully tasty though.  On to it, I think.  Have a great day.  I am at least cleaning up and keeping up on the little things, for myself and Sassaroni.  I call her lots of things, that is just one of many nicknames.  I enjoy creating nicknames.  Later.

Something wickedly cold out there.

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I checked the temp earlier, it was around 12, F.  I just checked, it is up to 27.  Veritable heat wave?  I think not, but...  The thing was, just a bit ago, I opened the front door, to just... look about.  And?  And it pulled this front room from 72 down to 61, and it is remaining there.  Not... sure how that was even possible.  Humidity went from low, to 23%.  I figured it had something to do with humidity.  It did something very strange.

And, the sun just isn't putting out any warmth.  There is a fog, or haze, on up higher into the sky.  An inversion?  Or just very cold weather settled in?  Cold as one could imagine, then some.  It seemed far colder than it read.  Even just standing at the door, it was like the opposite of a blast furnace.  I shut the door and backed off very quickly.  Something not right about weather like that.  Hell, I tell you.  Which may actually well be frozen over, or will be in the end times... perhaps.

Now, to figure out something to eat or drink to get the world back to some level of warmth!  The cold, this year, seems about normal, save for this day.  We've had a few colder spells.  But this would be the coldest I have seen it.  Very strange.

A shower, while the water for something warming heats.  Perhaps the oven on, while I shower.  Taco salad, since I didn't have that yesterday, after?  Sounds good to me.

I did tear the bed down, probably mentioned that?  Probably.  Yes.  When I go up to dress, I'll reset the bed.  I hate going to bed, and having to reset things before crawling in.  Since I have to go up to get the longjohns, and socks, I might as well do it now.  Slept cold, last night, for some reason.  Couldn't wake to deal with the covers, until early morning, almost about when I got up.  Then, was warm... for the dream... or whatever that was.  I can still smell the rose, a perfect yellow.  Only one woman I would have given such too, and apparently, I have earned it myself.  Friendship, or so they say, among other things?

I did get the kefir reset.  Will do so again either last thing today, or first thing tomorrow.  And, finally, I am going to bed on one day, waking on the next, as it should be.  Now to stretch just a bit more.  Then, try to keep it that way.  For no good reason.  No more appointments, very few visitors, even rarer visitations myself.  Still, it's... the idea.  Later.

Better than anticipated.

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I was able to be awake until 17:00.  Right as I laid down, and was mostly tucked in, I checked the alarm clock, 17:00 exactly.  Sure, not 18:00 to 20:00, as hoped.  But better than the 15:30 that was being suspected.  I began waking at 23:30, then 02:00, 02:30, made it down until 02:48.  Stretching as is possible, pushing a bit beyond.  Tired in the heart for it.  But... all good.

I tore the bed down this morning.  And, didn't flip anything but the mattresses, top to bottom.  Next week I will just flip the mattresses over, leaving them in the same position.  The week after that, flipping top to bottom again.  Odd how even such a simple task takes logic to do properly.  Done incorrectly, you only sleep on one side of the mattresses, rather than truly alternating side and mattress.

I can't go further.

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Well, maybe a short bit longer.  Only because I want to give the electric blanket some time to do it's thing.  Got it going right then.  So tired.  And it is only 16:26.  Gaming, all day.  As usual.  But, today, for some odd reason, the console told me it was too hot, needed a break?  Well, okay.  So I got out of the game, then let the fan go until it cooled things enough, then turned it off.  I'll not play more today.

So tired, and nearing the end of the game.  I would like to have a clear head as I go into the ending anyway.  So I can see what is happening, for a potential replay later, or even replaying from a save file.  So very tired.  Not sure why.

I feel cold, but it is 71/72 down here.  I shouldn't be cold.  Oh well.  It is dark, as well, out there?  No, no it isn't.  It just seems it?  A bit of a serious haze blocked some of the rays.  And at the lower angle.  But the sun was quite out, even yet.  Heading for the "hills", but still quite up.  So very strange.  Every had one of those days where it feels dark, even if it actually isn't?  Yea, like that.

Well, time to feed Sassy, check her litter, then get on up for some sleep.  I'll try to stay down until 01:00~03:00.  We'll see.  Good evening, day, and goodnight. 

A few calls.

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In and out.  My mother didn't answer.  I just left a message.  My brother called back.  All good.  He was finishing their pumpkin pie.  Handmade crust included.  All good.  Deep frying the turkey this year, for his first time.  I wished him luck, and all a Happy Thanksgiving.  Including in the message to my mother.

I never know what day Thanksgiving is.  I... just don't.  Or, any holiday, actually.  And, yes, I mean any.  It's just not something that is in memory.  Strange, but... even as a child, I just wasn't... excited.  Play the part, get jacked on candy, but... I... wasn't interested.  Or disinterested?  I wasn't against, I just wasn't excited about events.  Still, I... try.

I'll heat burger and have a taco salad.  No worries, that is quite fine for me.  I may add beans with the beef, it's a holiday, you know.

A reasonable sleep.

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I made it to 18:00.  How much after, I can't tell you.  I looked at the clock, directly at it, down here and upstairs.  I remember doing it.  I can't pull the minutes, just that it was 18:xx.  And I slept well.  That electric blanket makes diving under the blankets so much more pleasant.  No goosebumps, shivering to warmth, or such.  Just a nice, gentle, easing into a pleasant place and a quiet sleep.

The lights aren't working.  Didn't turn on.  I am thinking the two lines, stacked, are too much.  And them being standard bulbs, they are drawing too much energy.  The timer box was hot as heck.  I have let the boss know.  See what he thinks.  I know I can't afford to run those 24/7, and wouldn't.  The box was even hotter then.  Still, I've done what I can do.  I have done as much due diligence as a cripple can do.

Oh, no music below the fold.  Just trying to neaten the blog.  Decided this is the best way to do it.  

I have done what I may.

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It is 16:17, but it's bedtime.  Sore, tired, achy.  All good.  I just started the electric blanket.  It takes at least five minutes to get going.  It'll get it, not a whole bunch more.  I'll take a few painkillers as I get ready.  Trying to get a good sleep, and those will help.  Pain can echo through my sleep, keep me from a deeper drowse.

The knees are feeling better.  It took several days to improve.  I was beginning to think they might not start healing for a while.  Still a bit sore, but better by halving the pain, discomfort.  Not just when I stand, or kneel, but all the time.  Bruised them something fierce.

I'm wondering if the beer was just more potent because I was just coming off medicine.  Or official medicine.  As you may, or may not, remember, I used alcohol as medication early on.  May return to it.  Not often, just a deep cup a few times a month.  It... resets things.  It's a damn dangerous medicine, but it obviously worked.  The problem is, it is difficult on diabetes.  Though, I am not sure if diabetes is from my heart, doubtful since my heart has been bad the whole time, or from the medicine.  Maybe neither, but if one, I'd say from medicine.

Just thinking.  So many problems with drinking, though.

The Christmas lights are off.  If I wake before 02:00, I could check.  They seem to have gone off around 02:00.  It is set for 03:00, but I can't be certain I set the clock correctly.  It is just a very... awkward setting system.  I wish I could check around 20:00, to see if they turn on then.  I just can't do that today.

No shower.  Tomorrow.  Ugh.  Chest is tired, heart is tired, I'll have to get used to not being on meds.  That will take a while.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

To early afternoon, so far.

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13:06, and still at it.  I would like to go on to bed.  I could sleep, well, easily, I think.  Ever get that ache, from being a bit weary?  Stretching things a bit, for one reason or another?  That is what is happening.  And, yet, I'll keep at it.  Today, the goal is 17:00 to 18:00, perhaps 19:00, thought that is unlikely.  Not even sure 17:00 will be had.

As may have been mentioned, I did make the bed.  I'll turn the blanket on around 16:00?  Though I may let it run for three hours, in case I am up a bit longer.  Four hours?  I'll... think about it.  It just barely warms.  If it goes off, before I get up there, it becomes chill again almost instantly.

A beef and veggie lunch.  Extra kefir, as the jars are full, and more on the way.  Have to be careful, of I will overdo on that, get low again.  Ugh.  They were getting to make more bitter kefir than even I prefer, so I changed something up.  Will see if that works.  If not, I may have to clean them out completely, and restart.  That will slow things, which is frustrating.  But there are limits on how bitter of a food even I can eat.

A fatted coffee, more gaming, then... who knows.  I'd like to get a shower in.  But today?  We'll see.  I want a shower today, not sure I can.  Later.

Awake.

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Can't be sure how late I was awake.  It was 13:28, I think when I started the last post?  But I ended up not going to be for another hour or two.  I looked at the clocks, but nothing stuck.  Heck, I am pretty sure I was dreaming, for some of the numbers I thought I remembered aren't even possible.  Lets just say 13:28 plus between three and four hours.  Very nice, though.  Good.

And, I am woke up right around 01:00.  A little shy on sleep, but the day is progressing into... the day.  It takes time.

The Christmas lights weren't on.  So?  Not too cold out there, 28.  But I wasn't in the mood to play Santa, or the snowman, or... Jack Frost.  No!  So, I unplugged the timer, brought it in, looked over it closely.  Set it for a few more hours (as it was set to turn off at one), sorted out how to set the time... stupid thing times backwards.  But, okay.

I then set it, set the right time, plugged it in, plugged something through it, made sure it was plugged into the timer selection and that the timer switch was active, and?  Bzzz!  The razor did indeed work.  I put it out, set it up, and let it run.  The Christmas lights are working now.  I will see if they shut off around 03:00.  If so, I will cut the timer back to a 01:00 shut-off.  It is set to run between 20:00 and 01:00, or when/if it works, other than for now.  I just need to see that it will shut off.

Not a bad gig, for having just awaken.  But that was the plan.  I did, actually, wake around 23:48, or so, and looked out.  Realized the lights weren't on.  So, planned, when I eventually woke, to get to it.  I just didn't want to wake up that early.  Trying to get more sleep, and sleep later.  Twisting and turning, to get the day jig to fit the unit.  Bleh.

Tea, shortly.  Plain tea.  I won't eat until... around six.  Five to seven, depending on how things run.  A fatted coffee to start the food time, and a kefir.  Then, in an hour or two, probably a taco salad, and a kefir, plus water.  Then, later, another kefir.  Tea and water after.  I honestly probably don't even need that much food, if I want it, and more.  No metabolism to speak of, little ability to use up energy, things as such.  Sort of just stuck.

There was a man who went without food for a year.  A fat-boy, fatter than even me.  He DID take vitamins, other nutrients, and of course drank.  Yeah, he... did it.  Could I?  I have asked myself that.  I'll probably keep kefir, add electrolytes strongly, probably a double dose, and really beef up vitamin intake, to forms I was more sure would get in.  Though, some are fat based, some are water based.  You have to take some with fat, and have enough fat on hand.  Not sure if burning your own fat would provide that, or if some fat would need to be added.  Kefir has fat, though.  

Ah, or at least from one source... per cup... 116-132 calories, 8 grams of fat (5 saturated), 4-8 grams of carbs (mine usually lower, for I ferment them hard, then second ferment them in the fridge a few days before consumption), and 8-11 grams of protein.  So... yea, even four cups a day wouldn't be bad.  And given the what arrives with the carbs, double that still would keep me in keto, or very lest than 10 over the 30 (if 30 or less, preferably less).

Still, I am not sure I could do that.  I... like food.  A lot.  Obviously, and not for my weight.  But from what I write, show, do.  Who bothers crafting creme fraiche?  Who even tinkers with kefir?  Who has made chicken confit, or liver pate, or... other such?  Even custard, or popover, mayonnaise, or even tried to make butter.  Did make butter, just wasn't happy with it.

Well, awake.  Getting to tea.  Will check the timer/lights in a few hours.  Hopefully get a shower in before too long.  I even made the bed up this morning.  I like having it... somewhat warm, or at least not chill, when I get in.  When it first turns cool, and there are days that are still hot, I enjoy getting into a cool, even cold, bed.  But the... enjoyment of that wears off quickly.

Oh, sometime this week, I have to get those headsets returned.  Work, work, work, work.  May get the Xterra washed while out.  Nearly broke, or worse.  Will... see.  But, put some in savings, paid a few things off, and am fifty ahead on utilities, somehow.  Bleh.  It'll all get sorted.  Later.

Well, good people.

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On up to bed.  I made it to 15:28.  Not great, but... back in the ball game.  A few hours more each day, and I should be back to days in just a few days.  Then to keep that for... a while.  If possible.

The electric blanket should have the bed warm.  Warm enough.  Not chill.

I called my brother, and mother again.  No answer.  So be it.

She called, right as I finished that last sentence.  I had to tell her I was just whining about them as she was calling.  Got a good chuckle.  Among other things, she was playing bingo.  Probably forgot her phone, or doesn't always take it.  All good.  Just wanted to check up on her.

Well, on to bed.  A bit tired, sore, and... odd.  The medicine stoppage is having... affects, not good ones.  Oh well.  Goodnight.

A Thanksgiving invite!

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I heard a knock on the door.  Or... did I?  Luckily, I wasn't so focused I couldn't hear.  I am... always afraid, to answer the door.  I am not sure what I am afraid will be there?  Death?  No, death... I... know this one.  And we will do our thing when it is time.  What is it I fear?  I... don't know.  Though, I fear good things and bad things, if not all things.

As mentioned, this was an invitation to dinner.  With a time, and day/date given.  I have failed to attend before.  This time I will do what it takes.  I have added it to my calendar, and created a 2 day, 1 day, 8 hour, and 3 hour alarm.  Yes, that is what it takes, and there is still no guarantee.  

Plus, he will be reminding me later in the week.  Which, for me, is incentive to get my days and nights sorted out.  That will be a preview.  I'll do my best.

I called my mother this morning, but didn't get through.  Busy, doing an event, sleeping, or even forgot her phone.  Though, she... is as likely to fib about why as not.  Perhaps she just didn't want to talk.  I get it, but she wouldn't want to... be so bold.  I can handle it, I think it is she who cannot.  I wouldn't even mind if, there for a bit, for some reason, or none, she just didn't like me for a moment.  It... happens.  We love our family, we... don't always like them.  :)  Still, okay.

Well, that means I have to stay awake through the day.  As far on as I can get.  If I can make it to 15:00, I'll turn on the electric blanket and try to make it one more hour.  maybe two?

I might see if it is warm enough to deal with the Christmas light timer.  It failed, or... something.  It just wasn't working.  I had it plugged in, 24/7, but that... seems too much.  So, before I go back to gaming, I'll check that.  If it isn't too cold.  

Perhaps one more glass of kefir.  And, I may scrounge for another quart, to start a fourth.  I don't fill them full, and there is a quarter of the jar full of kefir grains.  So I'm not getting but, say, two thirds of a quart per jar.  And some of that is kefir grains.  And, yes, three glasses, maybe four, a day, is good.  This stuff is said to help blood pressure, but I don't know.  I like it, that I do know.  Later.

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I think I got the lights fixed.  Will find out tonight, around 20:00.  I don't know if the time is set right.  There was a switch, I didn't see last time, that read timer on, on one side, and switch on, on the other.  Or some such.  It was on the switch (love the way their information doesn't make any sense at all).  Then again, I won't be awake tonight at 20:00.  But, it is supposed to run until 01:00.  I might be awake before then.  Clear headed enough to check though?  Will find out.

I love it when it works.  It was 32 out there, by the way.  Not exactly warm, but... warm enough.  And the sun is actually lending a bit of warmth to the area.  And, yes, I put the leftovers away.  I'll be wanting more of that squash, and some beef too.  The chicken just got tossed.  Horrible.  Back to gaming.

Dinner...

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The beef was good.  The squash was super, more so because it has been a very long time.  The chicken was terrible.  It might have been slightly overdone, but that wasn't the problem.  It was old, could taste it.  Horrible.  And, no.  I bought it just the other day, yesterday?  It was in the fridge one day, only out from the store to home.

That was terrible.  I didn't even finish my bite.  I don't think it's bad, just very very old.  It tastes like the meat was old.  But, do old chickens taste off, like that?  Was that the problem?  That was horrible.  Oh well.  I'll be tossing that chicken.  I'll look at the dates on the package.  And compare with the dates on the other chicken.  If it's similar, I may toss it all.

I'll be husking?, skinning?, the remaining squash.  Putting it in a ziploc.  And stowing it.  It was so very tasty.  I didn't even add much better, and was rather light with salt and pepper.  No brown sugar, of course.  Oh, and I didn't butter it while it was cooking.  I just let it do it's thing, for about an hour and fifteen to twenty minutes.  No, the meat wasn't in anywhere near that long, perhaps forty five minutes.  With all that was in there, the chicken shouldn't have been done.  But it read as near done, by temp.  And, given a few minutes to cool, it finished... by temp.  But, byeach.  The onion was only so-so.  But, it added something to the side.

As well, another glass of kefir.  I'm thinking of having even another.  But, that will be it for the day.  I'll see if I can have three glasses a day.  That would be really good.  I haven't been adding sweetener lately (liquid sucralose - has fewer carbs, by a higher risk to spike insulin... stupid... things).  I may have that in this next run.  And, if I am really back on top of kefir, I will begin making a smoothie every day or other or third day.  As well, I'd like to try to make overnight chia/kefir, and sometimes add oatmeal.  Let it... meld... overnight.  Maybe even warm it in the morning, but not actually make it hot.  I'm thinking of getting a double boiler for that.  I want it warm, I don't want to kill the kefir.  Hmm, may I have a glass or steel bowl that will fit one of my small pots?

Yea, food.  Even as an old guy, food and sex are the two things on my mind.  I've given up sex, so... food it is.  And, yet, even there, I am doing my best to eat most correctly.  To my understanding, within my ability to do so.  And, really, I do pretty good.  I have to push, and pull, and stumble, and fall even.  But, generally, I do fairly well.

Back to gaming, I guess.  And some kefir.  I really do love that stuff.  Later.

A fatted coffee, and dinner on the move.

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Out of roast beef.  Found boneless rib meat for less off the bone than on, and less than chuck.  I got two packages, one in the freezer, one in the oven.  Along with chicken.  I saw a small package of chicken.  I got a few larger ones, but wanted just a few.  So, picked up the small one, a four pack.  It, too, is in the oven.  Salted, peppered, both meats, and with an onion sliced into fifths, and topping the meats as they bake.  As well, butternut squash!  I'm excited about that.  I miss not having those types of things, so, from time to time, I do.

I have spaghetti squash, as well, for next week.  I can't wait to try it with a homemade spaghetti sauce.  I would love to try it meatless, I... I just can't.  Italians do things their way, and that is fine... there.  Here?  We do meat in our marinara.  It's just how we do.  If they insist on tradition, fine.  No beef.  But, since tomatoes are American, as well as hot peppers?  They have to surrender those.  Check, mate.

No hate to my Italian friends and enemies.  Just... well... they are argumentative, I am too.  Gratsy, and shit.  Or a bigga pizza pie, right in your eye.  That's amore.  Right?  *grins*

While doing that, I got kefir reset.  Not sure if I am pushing it, or if it got a bit overdone again.  I can only do my best.  There was overfill, so I am having a cup.  Oh, I miss that stuff when I fall behind.  Shouldn't, anymore, with three gallons of milk a week.  If my math is right, this should allow just under two quarts a day.  If... I don't think it quite works out that way, somehow.  The more grain I have to toss, the more I lose.  But I do need to make some, if I want to get it matured in time, in a day.  It's... a bit of a trick.  

I can't eat that much kefir cheese, either.  Just... can't.  Hmm... I wonder if I saved it, if some people I know might take it for their chickens.  It would sure be better than wasting it.  And, I could just keep it in the fridge for the week.  It wouldn't go bad.  This stuff EATS bad... bad things in people, critters, and places.  It's sort of a miracle substance.  Almost terrifying.  If it ever became hungry for people, and those of us like you, we'd be in for a heck of a problem.

I am excited for the squash.  I'll have to put three fourths of it up.  May mash some of it, tomorrow.  A bit o' cream, a few chunks o' butter, a bit of salt, pepper, perhaps coriander?  Uhm... I love the way I think.  Oh, and I got it right this time.  Keep meaning to buy unsalted butter.  This time I got it.  And, it was on a steal, so I got plenty.  Hoping to make ghee, to be honest.  Would like to put up six pints of that.  See if it is actually shelf stable.  Curious.

Well, time to flip things, and check them.  Good evening, night, morning, or day.

Couldn't sleep longer.

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I woke, clean awake, at 19:00 and change.  I had to push, pull, tug, and else to stay in bed a bit longer.  Being that I looked at the clock, right after crawling in, and remember this time, right at 13:21.  I slept pretty much immediately.  That was just too short of a sleep. 

I made it to 22:00.  Still a bit shy on sleep, but... it's... more, and more like a night.

Oh, the electric blanket works better down in the pile, mid-layer.  The pillows, though, where chill.  Sleep last night must have been topsy-turvy, because the blankets were a mess this morning.  But I so liked slipping into a mildly warmed bed, that I redid the blankest right first thing.  Though this time, I pull the electric blanket up over the pillows.  It just covers the sleeping area, exactly.  Which is fine.  I just have to remember to turn the thing on an half hour to hour before I go up there.

And, I only have it on for two hours, don't need extra warmth all night.  Might even pull on of the other blankets off, or two.  Getting a bit too warm.  It is 52 near me, and 50 out in the room.  Which is a bit chill.  Incentive to get out, get dressed, and get going.  I am rather comfortable sleeping in that.

I dreamed of Sam.  Our ten year friendship, and some I think.  Initial problems, alterations, fixes.  She taught me, I got some give and take from her, and we sorted things out.  I'm just glad I could be with her in the end.  A terribly wonderful experience.  I tell you, I still sense her.  Less and less, but sometimes... she peaks in.  Not a ghost, mind you.  Sassy notices too, sometimes when I do, and sometimes when I don't.

Well... water is heating.  Probably just for a tea first thing.  I'll wait until two or three to begin eating and drinking things with calories.  Oh, the trash and recycling were both picked up.  I pulled the empty bins back, in the early afternoon.  Very good.  Even if they hadn't been picked up, all would be good.  Not their fault in any case.  They have a route, and it is highly variable.  They don't choose when to be by.  Can't complain about their work.  Grateful, to be flat honest.

Still awake!?!

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It's just past 14:00.  I didn't realize it was getting this late.  All good.  While at it, I'll try to be awake a few more hours.  Making up for yesterday.

I even got the trash and recycling to the curb.  But in time?  I'll know it a bit.  They were both full, so... hoping so.  Not adding trash quickly, though, so... not a huge worry, as long as I get it out next week.

I'll get up and make the bed.  I ripped it down, because of the rough sleep last night.  Not sure if it was bad dreams, or the alcohol causing turbulence.  Wasn't awake much, just don't remember.  Though, with beer, carbs, might have been cycling between warm and cold a bit too much.  I guess once every six months, to year, it's okay.  Even a dog gets a treat from time to time.

I am getting sleepy, will be ready.  Oh, and I'll turn the electric blanket on, have it in as a middle layer.  See if that makes a difference.  It did, mildly, warm the thing, on top.  But... it... isn't what I would have called warm.  Just... above the chill level.

Not perfect, perhaps, but not bad.  Later.  Or goodnight if I don't get back to blogging.  Yea, probably goodnight.

I... had to check.

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After being used to wipe the floor, yesterday, with a twelve pack, I... had some... doubts.  So, tonight?  I decided to try a few beers.  Two... was the goal.  Two were had.  And?  And... nothing.  Just fine, stopped right there, no buzz, no desire to drink more.  I... just had to see if... something had changed.

Thankfully, as noted, two beers was fine.  I did have it with taco salad.  That covers some things, but... yea.  Whatever it was, yesterday, I... just don't know.

Now I'll have a fatted coffee, check the kefir, and play the game for a while.  Later.

A few carbs.

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The only thing I purchased, besides beer, that was carby, was potato rolls.  I love those, and potato bread, and honey wheat.  But... back to it.  I sliced some of the roast beef, heated that in the oven just so.  Then cut the slices in half, sliced an onion, buttered two rolls, and had a very fine little meal.  That and a glass of water.

I'm a bit behind on kefir, but will be caught up by tomorrow.  I had a glass earlier, but that's all I can do for now.  Heating supper heats the area I keep the kefir, so it makes it more acceptable to slowly heat, than use the microwave.  I rarely use that anymore.  Popcorn only, whole kernel, no oil, I have a glass popper that works very good for that.

I had planned on taco salad.  I may yet have that, if I am hungry later.  Surprised, but I am quite full on two smaller sandwiches.  If a large glass of water went in with it.  I may have a fatted coffee, as well.  I really love those.  Dressed warmly, but clothing only helps just so much.  When it is your body, giving out, or not working, on the cold cycles, it can get really cold.  Still, doing better this year than most before it.  Now that I dress more properly, felted the door abutments, and take care in other ways.  Though, when blood sugar was high, I never really had a problem with the cold.

Yesterday through everything off.  Now I am not sure whether to try to push through, or to go to bed early?  Then again, I don't think I can sleep.  No real choice, it seems.  Feeling better.  Still a bit jangled, a bit of a twitch.  Not... sure what is causing that.  Never had them with hangovers before.  Then again, the hangover is... was? rather mild beyond that.  I think it's gone.  Not sure why I have a twitch.  Odd.

Whatever.  On back to gaming.  I'll get the water heating before, and enjoy another fatted coffee in a bit.  The rest of the night will be plain tea and water.  If hungry, I'll have a taco salad.  Nothing fancy, but it really does well for filling me in a good keto way.

I am hoping to get to making mayo tomorrow.  As well, getting storebought cultured buttermilk and cream, creme fraiche started.  Oh, and if the mayo works out, I may create a ranch dressing later in the week.  Though, depending on how long it takes the creme fraiche to mature, I may wait until next Saturday.  Later.

Now it's a bit rough.

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The shakes, a mild headache, knees are really sore.  Still, It is the price I have to pay for being foolish.

I got the kefir reset, and will keep on it a bit more this week, with extra milk.  Water was behind, so I am catching that up.  Coffee is finally going down.  The big glass of water, to start things off, helped.  Sassy fed.  Oh, should tend her litter box, sometimes boxes.  And change her water.

I took a few painkillers.  Will see if that helps.  I'll be really careful, from now on.  Then again, that wasn't my intention, I just got into it, then got carried away.  And, am now rather weak regarding alcohol.  Three sheets?  I think I was hitting four, going on five to the wind.  Oh well.

On to gaming.  Perhaps that will help me regain focus and manage the shakes.  Getting too old for foolishness, I'll tell you.  Later.

Oof!

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I suppose it is a good thing, but... I can't drink like I used to.  A twelve pack saw me to the floor, and barely able to get to bed.  I even threw up?  I ate first, so it wasn't on an empty stomach.  Wow.  At least I knew better than to do any more posting.  I saw that coming.  Not a bad morning, but it was difficult to wake.

From now on, if I buy beer, it'll be a six pack.  No more.  And I probably won't drink even that, just a few.  Not sure what got into me?  Probably just hadn't had it in so long that... it just pulled me in.  No intention, at the start.

Water to start out, and coffee shortly.  Taco salad for food today, then tea and water.  Not feeling rough this morning, stomach-wise.  Though a big steak wouldn't be interesting.  Just too heavy.  Knees hurt, I fell to them a few times.  And crawled to bed.  Ugh.  Slept well though.  Live and learn.

More else happened, but I'm not mentioning it.  Had to get some help on something.  But... things do happen.  I am amazed that just a few did that much damage.  A case used to not dampen my ability to walk.  Plus a few fifths.  Still, I being a cheap drunk costs less, there is that.  If, too, my goal these days isn't to get drunk, or even buzzed.  I just wanted the taste.  Bleh.  Later.

How do they do that?

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Look, and tell me.  How do these pop, when... I'm uncorking?

Slept well.

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Dreamed dark dreams though.  Both in and out of consciousness.  The failings of those I loved, the betrayals.  Learning what really happened behind the scenes.  Surrounded by evil my whole life.  Mocking me, as it turns out.  But not for my mistakes, but for believing in virtue, goodness, truth.  To see it all so clearly, like a dark version of the Santa lie, only when the blinders are lifted, the horror is much deeper.

Sadly, I don't think that was, or is, a dream.  Perhaps I didn't make it to purgatory?  Could this be hell?  No.  Fortunately or not.  Why do I say "or not", regarding being in hell?  If I can maintain my faith in hell, that is some powerful faith.  And... I do.  Even with everyone against me, and it.  Amen.

Up!  A very good sleep otherwise.  And, even the dreams have been settled, resolved, as I contemplated all.  My guess is, in even hell, my faith would tempt even the darkest of demons.  Certainly devils.  And a few people who were on the fence in life, and are now so in death, if... nobody really wants them.  Still, I would preach to them, the word and way.

The electric blanket?  I didn't think it worked.  But, when I climbed in, it wasn't chill.  So, yes.  I had it on 6, though only for probably ten to twenty minutes, at most, before going up and on to bed.  So I'm not sure it had a real shot at heating it up, being probably in the low 50's up there.  Still, got into a non-chill bed.