.
.
I'm not seeing a way through. So, for the first time in memory, I am going to try to make my own path. To that end, I roasted a chuck roast the other day to feed up, then roasted enough chicken to see me through a few days of good solid eating. I got a shower in today, and the phone is charged. I plan on another shower, then a trip to town tonight to tend shopping needs. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon, or the day after as I can't make promises yet, I will go in and get my friend out of his place. I don't know if it will work, but there it is. Oh, and I need to get back on medicine. Tonight or tomorrow I will be resetting my medi-set.
I just don't have what it takes. Everything I do is a major effort. While I enjoy the games, they actually become more like work as I go to the higher levels and try to carve out specific plans. I tend to think games do enhance intelligence, if they are played at the harder levels and without cheats. No pain no gain works for the mind as much as it works for the body, and hard game modes are painful at times. The games don't add to my life in some ways, and yet that create something I can do in my time, at my pace, and at the level of difficulty I am prepared to participate with.
I best get going. A bit more gaming, then a shower and to town. I don't know how well it will work just forcing things. But at this point it is as much as I can do and the only option I have. I am absolutely tired of being sick and tired! :P Life is still good, it just has no meaning currently. I'd like to fix that.
Later.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Oh, right. I am still in here, are you still out there?
.
.
Time flies when you aren't aware. Last I knew it was... the 25th? Yeah. Now it's already the 17th or 18th or something. I think I've been out of the house once in that time, maybe twice. I've been out of soda for days, that always gives me huge headaches. I'm almost out of tobacco. I buy tobacco for two months at a time now, when I can. Running out of that and not being able to get out is really harsh, especially when added to the effects of caffeine withdrawal. Never mind.
My friend has called a number of times. My lady friend called too. Lots of email. I couldn't have answered or read, my phone has been dead for... a week, two? Just not on things right now. The phone still isn't charged enough to use yet but I am not ready to get out in any case. I hope to sneak out in the next day or night or two to take care of my own stuff first, as I don't have what it takes, atm, to shop for myself and help my friend browse at the same time. If I take care of my needs first, then I can go in and just let him go where he wants and get what he needs or wants.
Gaming is going well. The game I am playing is non-linear and a bit buggy. It's a fantastic game but it has it's drawbacks. What I mean when I say non-linear is that missions can be done in a large number of orders which makes going back to replay something very difficult unless you save after every mission and catalog the saves somehow, as you don't get to name the saves. It's not perfectly designed, either, in that if you do the missions one way, you may not get something. And more, the way to "win" doesn't always work. The gameplay is fun, and varied though.
I took a shower today. Absolutely wonderful things, showers that is. I am sure a bath would be even better but you have to draw it, then figure out how to keep it hot, and... all that stuff. I'm not sure why women love baths as much as they seem to do? It seems like a lot of work to my mind. Or at least a lot of fuss. Hmm, they don't have to stand? I dunno. Then again, like I have any real clue about the human female mind. Though I have come to suspect that they rarely have a grasp of their own mind, wants, and needs either. How did I get on the subject of women? Bah!
Later.
.
Time flies when you aren't aware. Last I knew it was... the 25th? Yeah. Now it's already the 17th or 18th or something. I think I've been out of the house once in that time, maybe twice. I've been out of soda for days, that always gives me huge headaches. I'm almost out of tobacco. I buy tobacco for two months at a time now, when I can. Running out of that and not being able to get out is really harsh, especially when added to the effects of caffeine withdrawal. Never mind.
My friend has called a number of times. My lady friend called too. Lots of email. I couldn't have answered or read, my phone has been dead for... a week, two? Just not on things right now. The phone still isn't charged enough to use yet but I am not ready to get out in any case. I hope to sneak out in the next day or night or two to take care of my own stuff first, as I don't have what it takes, atm, to shop for myself and help my friend browse at the same time. If I take care of my needs first, then I can go in and just let him go where he wants and get what he needs or wants.
Gaming is going well. The game I am playing is non-linear and a bit buggy. It's a fantastic game but it has it's drawbacks. What I mean when I say non-linear is that missions can be done in a large number of orders which makes going back to replay something very difficult unless you save after every mission and catalog the saves somehow, as you don't get to name the saves. It's not perfectly designed, either, in that if you do the missions one way, you may not get something. And more, the way to "win" doesn't always work. The gameplay is fun, and varied though.
I took a shower today. Absolutely wonderful things, showers that is. I am sure a bath would be even better but you have to draw it, then figure out how to keep it hot, and... all that stuff. I'm not sure why women love baths as much as they seem to do? It seems like a lot of work to my mind. Or at least a lot of fuss. Hmm, they don't have to stand? I dunno. Then again, like I have any real clue about the human female mind. Though I have come to suspect that they rarely have a grasp of their own mind, wants, and needs either. How did I get on the subject of women? Bah!
Later.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Weird.
.
.
Despite not knowing the day of the week, or... much else regarding the outside world, I have been eating fairly well. And, somehow, losing significant belly size. I'm slimming down. I haven't been this "slim" since I first became ill. Though, to be fair, much of the medicine I have been asked to take caused weight gain, and further the real cause of my illness caused me to gain water weight excessively. Still, it is fantastic to be slimming down, if my clothes, even the newer smaller clothes, are beginning to seem more like gunny sacks than clothes. I still weigh 270, so it doesn't make sense. I guess it is all a matter of were you lose and what you lose.
I haven't been able to get to anything, pretty much. Gaming, still, continues. And I play incredibly long spells. I quit the gaming and I just end up sleeping and even more confused, so I will keep it. Medicines... I keep dropping off that. I just don't understand. It used to be easy to take. I need to reset the medicine container and begin trying it again. As I said, I have been eating. Two meals a "day", and decent meals. They are neither too big, mostly, nor too small. I can't keep up with the six meal a day thing, but when I can I will get back to that. Just a bite, now and again. Never hungry, never full. But it is a high maintenance operation when you add in shopping, prep, cooking, and cleaning. Fruits just don't do it for me, even when paired with peanut butter or something.
I absolutely destroy games. Now, I don't get every last detail known, and how it functions. But for using (mostly) unscientific methods, I learn how to crack a game open, rip it apart, and assemble the play to my liking within (and sometimes outside a bit) of the design. While it is not profitable, I learn nothing functionally useful for the world in general in real terms, and some other problems, it does give me problems I can solve given the energy I have. It gives me something nearly real to do. And it keeps me out of that FUCKING bed. Sorry. I just hate being bed-bound. I hate being even more down and out, confused, in pain.
I'm thinking about life. I just don't have a way back to it. But it is good. I'm not in bed and I don't think my health is deteriorating. I think diabetes is on the retreat as well. Later.
.
Despite not knowing the day of the week, or... much else regarding the outside world, I have been eating fairly well. And, somehow, losing significant belly size. I'm slimming down. I haven't been this "slim" since I first became ill. Though, to be fair, much of the medicine I have been asked to take caused weight gain, and further the real cause of my illness caused me to gain water weight excessively. Still, it is fantastic to be slimming down, if my clothes, even the newer smaller clothes, are beginning to seem more like gunny sacks than clothes. I still weigh 270, so it doesn't make sense. I guess it is all a matter of were you lose and what you lose.
I haven't been able to get to anything, pretty much. Gaming, still, continues. And I play incredibly long spells. I quit the gaming and I just end up sleeping and even more confused, so I will keep it. Medicines... I keep dropping off that. I just don't understand. It used to be easy to take. I need to reset the medicine container and begin trying it again. As I said, I have been eating. Two meals a "day", and decent meals. They are neither too big, mostly, nor too small. I can't keep up with the six meal a day thing, but when I can I will get back to that. Just a bite, now and again. Never hungry, never full. But it is a high maintenance operation when you add in shopping, prep, cooking, and cleaning. Fruits just don't do it for me, even when paired with peanut butter or something.
I absolutely destroy games. Now, I don't get every last detail known, and how it functions. But for using (mostly) unscientific methods, I learn how to crack a game open, rip it apart, and assemble the play to my liking within (and sometimes outside a bit) of the design. While it is not profitable, I learn nothing functionally useful for the world in general in real terms, and some other problems, it does give me problems I can solve given the energy I have. It gives me something nearly real to do. And it keeps me out of that FUCKING bed. Sorry. I just hate being bed-bound. I hate being even more down and out, confused, in pain.
I'm thinking about life. I just don't have a way back to it. But it is good. I'm not in bed and I don't think my health is deteriorating. I think diabetes is on the retreat as well. Later.
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