A bit disappointing.

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Disappointing?  Well, no major work today.  Still, I tried every trick I thought might work, including more pain pills.  Which... did work.  It just didn't matter.  Too tired.  Other than that, it was a wonderful day.

Take what is given, even as you lay dying or being given laurels even on high.  Gladly.

Oh, but as I was resetting water for the feathered ones, I... thought I had gone cross-eyed.  I had to... look, count, and think... several times.  Things weren't adding up.  But, in my favor.  An extra duck?  Ah!?!  Impossible!  But, no, it's true.  Thor is back!  What is it with my critters.  Sassy has run away, sort of, twice.  One time for months.  Now one of my drakes skipped town, or my yard town, for weeks, if more likely a month, two?  Back.

They are bathing, in the fresh water, so I am letting them at it.  I'll put them in, if most likely they will go in on their own by then, an hour... an half of which remains.  Then I'll go out and shut it all down.  On to bed after.  Dark and cool, if not quite freezing, out.  Freezing?  Well, actually, maybe.  I sure tried to get going today.  Tomorrow.  I can't take Sunday off.  If I can work, I must.  God knows, I... have to work when I can.

Good evening, and night.  Sleep and dream well.  Amen.

I did what was possible.

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I, eventually, pulled every trick I knew to try... except a shower.  But, at the point I was, that would have been an energy sink.  I knew it wouldn't work.  Food, dressing warmly, more food, hot tea, contemplative and functional mental applications, warming the house, there may have been a few other things?  I'm beginning to fail, memory can go with it.

Oh, I even cheated.  Sometimes some things I am not supposed to consume can help.  Worth a shot.

I have been working on this since I woke.  I did stay up.  A nap?  I... lost cohesion... couldn't think that through, get to it.  I... have doubts it would have just been a nap.  As well, even a nap at noon, which wouldn't have been possible... couldn't sleep... would have made putting the ducks away in a timely manner unlikely.  Actually, I will be trying to stay awake long enough to do just that.

I will go out, probably, and check their water.  It's been rather cool today.  The sun is up, out, but not doing much.  They say winter isn't here.  I say... yeah... it's here.  It's been here for a while.  Mild, so far, but here.  Thirty degree days, often enough.  And it seems so much darker, already, than usual.  Summer was, mostly, fall or spring.  Fall is already pretty much winter.  Hoping for a gentle winter, but that might not happen.  I can't see, but I have seen.  Hope might be just that.

Well, wish me luck making it to dusk.  Later.

A tough day.

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No idea why.  Getting going is murder.  It just isn't happening.  Hot coffee, warm clothes, a bit to eat, warmed house... what other trick(s) am I missing?  

I did get the girls and ducks managed.  I have taken care of myself as well as possible.  I have been engaging my brain, in order to waken more solidly.  I have been contemplative, and active, sometimes at the same time.  But it just isn't working!  I don't know what to do, how to push.  The sun is out.  Hmm... it was rather cool t his morning.  Perhaps that is seeping in.

I do feel extra cool.  I... have a plan.  If, too, it might crash my system.  Will know, soon.  Either later, or if I crash... which is looking more probably than not anyway... then much later!

A very good sleep and wake.

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Oh, a little rough.  I don't think it will, typically, get better.  This is as good of a morning as I will get for the rest of my life.  Perhaps a terribly exceptional day, once or twice a year?  One can hope.  Advil before bed, a shower, a freshly made bed, and with warm pj's and else.  It all lead to a very good sleep and a reasonable wake.  So much work for such a small reward, if the options can be far worse.

The ducks are out and fed.  The girls have gotten a snack, and their litter has been cleaned.  Teeth brushed, and a bite for breakfast, but just a bit.  Now to wake.  I am hoping to get out to it by noon.  The first objective is shortening the front and edges of the second cage, and what ever else adjustments are required.  then, maybe, creating a platform upon which that can be set.

Towels have been washed, and are just waiting to be dealt with.  I think that is it for laundry, if folding remains.  A lot of folding.  Dishes will be started as I am going out to work on the cages.  Ugh... I keep failing to get those done.  But I mostly keep them... ready.  Water isn't allowed to sit in with them, which fouls rather quickly, requiring a rewash.  I will put the other dishes away, finally, today... as I need to get meat out and thawing for the week.  Chicken, ribs, and various ground meats.

Who knows, but I think, even with a single short work period each day, I could have the cages together in just a few days.  Getting so close... with some successes behind me.  Keeping food available, and not clogging up food prep and cleaning needs is part of the trick.  I'll keep at it until it is done.  I am hoping in just a few days.  Two sessions today might well see the second cage all fitted, and the first cage actually installed.  Maybe.  Later.

It took a bit.

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Between digestion and exhaustion, my world came to a very fast slowing down.  I... kept thinking about a shower.  Finally got one.  Now to dry off.  While upstairs getting some things, I took up the blankets and made the bed.  I keep trying to make it so that it will last being slept in by a giant just a bit longer.  Will know if this new plan worked soon.  Hey, I am of an engineering sort.  It isn't so much that failure isn't an option.  It's... actually guaranteed.  The only real question is... when!  I like pushing that limit.

Pain is back.  Harsh.  Headache, neckache, and other stuff.  To the point of nausea.  Not a migraine.  A wall-to-wall deep, solid, pulse of pain.  With kinks in the neck and shoulders.  Sometimes moving will cause those to sparkled, though doing nothing... they still send piercing pains from time to time.  Hmm, must be a nerve thing?  All good, it'll go in the basket for those in purgatory.  Trust me, they'll appreciate it.  I try to focus on the ones who have no other.  Those who have prayers being said for them, even masses done for their needs, need nothing from me.  I was alone... in there.  No prayers would be said, no masses.  Stuck... as here, or quite like it.  It does make me wonder, from time to time.

I do need to dry off a bit.  The ducks are up, the girls are fed.  I cleaned their pans twice today.  Refreshed their water.  A thing every time I shower, or every few days... whichever comes first.  Oh, I am making another pot of tea, and will make a final one.  Keeping up on my cold tea consumption is a bear.  Drinking up to three gallons a day, if usually more like two, yea... it takes a lot of work.  Especially with my reverse osmossis filling to slowly.  I really need to arrange that better.

Tomorrow, it is on to the other cage.  I'll do that as long as I can.  I figure I can get the three pieces in one go, but... maybe only two.  If I have energy after that, I will go to the outbuilding and tinker with blocks of remnants, to see about fitting and arranging the first cage.  It is possible to get one in and the other finished if only by parts.  I'll... keep at it.

Full.

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Dinner was good, but again, too full.  I didn't eat more than usual.  I suppose not eating a bit too often means smaller to normal meals can fill me a bit overfull.  I'll have plenty of leftovers.  Oh well.

No, no more work.  Getting to dinner took... a while.  Then getting it and eating it...  It is late, again.  It is nearing bedtime.

I did get the blankets upstairs.  The bed has been stripped, so as to be reset.  Every other, or third, day.  I would like to take a shower before going to bed.  I just showered yesterday, but that isn't the point.  A night shower, with a freshly made bed, means I can just get to work... whenever possible.  That is the goal.  A few hours of waking time, after getting out of bed.  Dressing right away, warmly.  Then to work when able.

I think I can get the other parts, for the next cage, together in one session.  As well.  I won't dryfit where it will be placed.  I will merely create a platform upon which it can sit... wide and long enough that it can take the cage... with enough room to provide adjustments as well as to be able to be set plumb... or plumb enough.

The difficult part remaining is figuring out how to put the thing together strongly enough to handle small herds of rabbits, and be able to be taken down with little more than, say, a rubber mallet.  I think... I see it.  I think it is possible.  A few remnants, with screws, to act as hitches.  And a few remnants created, far enough out of the way for the rest to swing, to act as catches.  I just made it up, mostly, so don't hate me.  I'm doing my best.

I actually enjoy working on these things.  I wish I had more money, and more energy.  I'd do all sorts of things.  Hopefully improving as I go.  If I could keep a schedule, I would try to get out and do projects for others.  Let them pay for the parts and pieces, and just provide the labor.  I wouldn't do more than a few projects a week, or a single larger one.  But... if I could, I would... tinker, make, break sometimes, and fix.

It might not be what I would have done for employ.  But in retirement, I wish I could.  Later.  Or... good night more likely.  I am winding down, and about to hit it like a cannon ball.

A good start.

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Finding parts, bits, and such always takes more time than expected.  Still, it went quickly enough, quickly than anticipated.  Not done yet, of course.  I don't even have one cage fully assembled.  What I do have is all the parts assembled, and dry fit, for the first cage.  I will need shims, wood levers, and a few other things to hold the thing together.  The hinges went in fairly well.  Finding a better place to chisel would be good.  I think, for now, it... will just have to do as is.

The dryfit went rather well.  As well, I measured for the second story, and added wood pieces for the side cage parts.  I'll have to add front and back remnants so as to create a platform, and of course a ramp.  As well, I will need to figure out a separation piece.  Well, and the other cage needs partially refit, as well as everything I am doing with this first cage.

A break.  If I can get back to it tonight, no need to walk back and forth, dry fitting, or such.  All I really need to do is resize those parts... for tonight... assuming I can.  It is about time for food.  I am having another fatted coffee.  It's only about 40 out there, but I went with it.  It was plenty warm, even for my hands.  A hot fatted coffee before starting allows for working in even a lot cooler weather, even if I can't use gloves.

I sure hope to get more done tonight.  I am quite happy with two or three hours, but would like to do more.  I am almost certain it is possible.  No guarantees.  But... yeah.  I am excited.  I honestly would like to try to get it done in plenty of time, before the last deadline.  I might even be able to pick them up.  At least the animals...  Probably.  I'd have to count my coin first, but... yea.

Later.

Late.

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It takes a while, some days.  But!  Today, and now, is the date and time!  I'll be getting out as soon as I finish the fatted coffee.  To work, at it as hard as I can.  Oh yes.  To it.  I am excited.

Fears and doubts, along with else, have bound me.

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Will my plans work?  Can I do them?  Can I stand?  Some of mind, some of body, some of... something else.  They weigh heavily, keeping me from getting to it.  So... tired, too.  But no pain today.

It has taken several hours to wake.  Dressing warm doesn't even really help.  Turning the furnace up can be as bad as having it too low.  Is there a better temperatures?  I think so, but it's not the same, day to day.

Still, after two and an half hours of waking, I am... getting there.  The girls have been fed, litter managed, ducks have received their dues.  I haven't eaten, but eating seems to drag me down lately.  I'll eat after a couple two or four items have been managed.  The plan is to install one hinge, by chiseling out a place on the faces which will be paired via the device.  After that is done, then begin resizing the last two sides.  Perhaps, if I can continue, one more set of side and base will be hinged as well.

If I can get to, or through, the second hinging, then I can get food.  And take a break.

I am making fresh tea, then will make a warm fatted coffee.  That should be good to keep me warm, give me some energy, plus not overload my system.  For as many calories as a fatted coffee has, it really doesn't fill me much.  That is, sometimes... at the start, a problem with keto.  Or, at least what I can manage with keto.  I have fried burger, with which to make a taco salad later.  That, actually, is filling.  Not the burger, but the salad and cheese.

It's to it today.  Oh, I put the whites on a second drying spin.  It should be done by this evening.  And, maybe, will be done and put up.  I think I took the blankets upstairs earlier... or they are ready?  My bedding arrangement has been perfect the last two days.  Not too hot, not too cold, and comfortable in all other ways.  I seem to slowly be sorting out the... little things.  It's really about the little things, truth be told.  Attend these, then the big things become manageable.  And, finally, with God's hand, all things become possible.  Start, however, with the little, the humble, with kindness.  Amen.

Okay, it didn't work out.

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I had a meal, later last night.  That kicked my feet out from under me.  I... crashed, hard.  I did get in some of the other pain killers.  They seemed to work.  Hmm... I wonder if they played a role in the crash?  Doubtful, but...  dinner and those were within an half hour of each other.  I know the food played a part.  Overate just a tad.

I tried a few tricks, but nothing worked.  Down, around 20:00?  No, I think it was 22:00.  I resisted the crash, but couldn't... get out from under it's thumb.  I could have kept awake, for... a long time.  But was already up too late, as my schedule is preferred to go.  So, I steered it into the ditch, crawled upstairs, and tucked in for a good nights sleep.

Sleep was beautiful.  I have learned to stay warm without getting too hot.  The girls visit, when I leave the door open.  While they do wake me, it's... I'd wake anyway.  To roll, to void, after an intense dream.  I simply don't sleep solid nights, save on rare occasions.  Plus, I love the little ones.  It is good to have living bodies around.  And, often, they visit right after a dark dream.  It's like they know, and know when to visit.

Oh, an oddity.  Since I have begun using towels on my pillows, I haven't had a bloody nose.  I was getting them twice a week, commonly.  I had to change pillows, and found the new pillow cases.  Then put the towels over and... that has been that.  Very strange, but I'll take it.

Today?  I'm going to, when I can get going, get to work on the cages.  That is all that is planned, for now.  If I can do two sessions, then I'll consider other things.  It's about 40, outside, or pretty close.  I wasn't terribly awake when I went to let the ducks out.  The door was open.  I was sure I closed up last night, but... maybe not?  Maybe I crashed too hard, fast?  Bleh.  So, it should be easy enough to work in.  Though I am hoping it warms just a bit more.  While 40 is fine for the body, it's cold for the hands.

Later.

Late, and slow, but... getting there.

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I will eat again.  Something.  Then, to it.  Showered, dressed, dishes and laundry going... ducks will be put in shortly... the girls fed before I eat.  It's working.

I haven't yet taken those other pain pills.  On it, soon.  Nothing fancy, just haven't gotten it done.  Will.

I am feeling slightly better than the slightly better of before.  Not great, just not as wretched.  Every bit better is good.  As noted, I turn pain over to those suffering in purgatory, so it's... not a complete waste.  And... going slow with the pain pills doesn't really effect work.  I can either do it or not.  All good.  I'll take them, anyway.  I have some responsibility to manage pain... reasonably.  It just isn't always possible.

Well... yes...  I think it is about time to get the critters and then myself tended, and get to work.  I am excited!  I do love to work.  And, I am so curious to see if my plan will work.  It'll be a bit, as food will take a bit.  But... I think it will get going, and I should be able to get two to four hours in tonight... probably.  Later.

A beginning.

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It took a bit to start.  I set up laundry, but didn't run them until after a shower.  Then, on to a shower.  Dishes were loaded after, then laundry started.  I am partially dressed, while air drying.  I'll dress warmly, but not too heavy.  I would guess it is in the 40's or 50's out there, and I will keep pretty warm even with moderate work.  Still, I don't want to be too cool to start, when I go to start.

It is getting late, but so be it.  I have set the alarm for an hour and an half.  I will slowly dress as the timer ticks down.  Scrounging the web for... this and that.  Music has become static, nothing new in a while, or nothing which caught my eye... or... nothing which caught my eye that hasn't been patterned before.  And none of it fresh almost at all.  Still, from time to time, I look.

Oh, I forgot to take that other pain killer.  The aspirin has helped some, but it's still rough.  As I said, it's time to work, and I can.  Pain just can't be allowed to get in the way when I can finally work.  It isn't pain which keeps me from work, it is... a fog, or exhaustion, or such.  Still, to have the pain gone, or more gone, would be quite good.  It just helps a bit.

A bit of tea, with the pills... should be a good mix.  Unless it is fatal.  Oh, well, it wouldn't be the first time.  Have a great day, and later.

Brutal.

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Not noticed when waking, but slowly more apparent as I woke.  My neck is way out, to the point of a severe headache and nausea.  Well?  Well, so what.  I may take it a bit slower, but I will work today.  A shower in about ten minutes.  Blankets upstairs and whites into the laundry.  Dishes set up.  A bit of a rest.  Then out and to it.  It seems as if the sun is up and out, for what it is worth this time of year.

It is time to work.  Hurt or not.  I took aspirin around ten, to no good affect.  I bought a different painkiller, one that is good for swelling and fevers... I didn't have anything the last time I got severely sick.  Won't do that again.  They may not be the best with heart medicine, but they won't be used regularly.  Further, when aspirin fails, it is good to have something else to try... especially if I really need to get going.

The phone went off earlier, twice.  I just couldn't find it!  Then, a few hours later, I remembered where I might have put it.  I will... keep it there, as a regular night place, from now on.  It looks like V.A. or SSA called.  Or both.  Anyway...  I do plan to create a farraday cage, perhaps triple layered if I have enough material.  Definitely double layered.  There are some... tricks to it.  As well, eventually they will be trying to get through that, design a way to transmit through such systems.  Continuous testing is good, but other means of testing will be required.  Most likely, they will change frequencies, or create a scattered or focused transmitter which isn't constantly on, or easy to notice.  They want your data.  A recorder and transmitter is all that is needed.  Your software and hardware are owned.  Unless you control or contain... even then, understand, you are always heard.  If nothing else, God knows... and... you know.  Limits.  But them?  Fuck them.  If I can give them nothing, I will.

Unfortunately, I don't think a continuation for President Trump will change this, any more than it will build the rest of the wall.  Or... I would have voted for him.  Still, a Biden win would be slightly to much worse on this and that, and dozens of other scores.  Oh... so... why not vote Trump?  Well... because, if Trump is only going to slow the decline, but not stop the demographic invasion, then it becomes a death by a thousand cuts.  I'd druther just have the whole head chopped cleanly and neatly, or Civil war to ensue... maybe both?  Cheers.  As I said, I support Trump, but not enough to vote for him.  Only to defend his legal rightful win.  Let the people have their true say, and leave it at that.  His win, too, would be a sting to those who want to change America, making it a new USSR.  There is that.

Anyway... it's about time to begin beginning!  Yeah!  Later.

Very odd.

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I was awake until... 20:30?  20:00?  No later, I believe.  Only awake that late because I missed my nap, then decided to stay awake until dark to put the ducks up.  Then just could not sleep until even later.  I slept until 09:00.  I woke several times before, 07:00, then nearly or a bit after 08:00.  Waking wasn't possible.  The sun is out today, so that is helping.  Light!  Darkness, as with yesterday, made doing anything nearly impossible.  Or... it seemed dark yesterday.

Ducks have been let out, the cats have been fed, and I have had breakfast.  The goal is a shower, then what was planned yesterday.  I keep thinking I can, but can't.  I'll... keep at it.

I think the reason I slept so long was that it was so warm?  Yea, I think so.  It is rather warm.  Even yesterday, it was in the 50's, even with the overcast nature of the day, and quite early... when I was letting the ducks out, or maybe earlier?  I can't remember exactly.  Life is a bit... difficult lately.  Memory, waking, sleeping, it's all... mixed up.  Sleeping a great deal, not able to wake as fully as would be needed to work.  It'll... come around, soon enough.

I should set an alarm for a few hours, with the hopes of taking a shower right about then.  Then get to work on the cages.  I really think they could go together quickly, if the plan works.  But there will have to be some engineering on the fly, even now.  The plans are... reasonably sorted.  But there are always, and I mean always, problems.  Still, a few hours at a time.  I suspect I can get a side and the bottom hinged, and installed, in one run.

Getting the far end installed will be and engineering project.  I need to make it so that it can slide the length direction of the cage, to allow the hinge(s) to fold.  But it also has to be able to be pinned in, somehow, so it doesn't fall apart.  As well, I have to do something to deal with the gaps due to the lack of square of the building... and maybe the cage pieces being off.  Tricky, really is.  A solid piece of wood would work, but it might well make it so that the cage can't be taken down without tearing things down.  I don't want to have to rip wood and nails out every time I need to clean.  Many problems with that.

Still, I... have a notion in my mind.  A wooden extended open square, into which remnant pegs could be installed... just removing these as needed, then sliding the end into where the begs were.  Couldn't be a square, but could be an "L"?  Maybe.  I'll know more when I get to that point.  Installing it will take odd structural supports, on the unsupported corner.  But on the wall, it should be easy... easy enough.  Probably.

Those are the only two areas which will be more complicated.  The rest should be okay.  Later.

Quiet, I am told, is how I speak the best?

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Then they storm my castle?  Fine.  Mostly.  A... few points though.

Oh, right, it's... time to blog.

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I have been up since 06:30.  It is already 08:16.  I have just been reading, roughly, and watching vids.  Hmm, I think I forgot to turn the heat up, if that wouldn't have helped?  Nor hurt.  I'm... it takes a while to wake, some mornings longer than others.  I have enjoyed the waking time, if it hasn't been all that successful.  Still, I... think it is working, slowly.

Slow.

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Breakfast, just now.  I did put the blankets into the dryer.  The girls have been fed and watered.  Their litter?  Either last night as I was going to bed, or more likely this morning.  The ducks have been let out, a bit more food added to their container, and water checked... looks good.  Not frozen, and full enough in various places.  Oh, but I did refresh their small dishpan of water.  I quite enjoy the critters, of whichever species.

It was still pretty cool out there, just at or below 40.  Even indoors, it was a bit too chill, so I turned the heat up... especially after going out.  The goals haven't changed.  If... it will just have to happen when it happens.  I do believe I will nap, for as long as it takes, and hit it when I can.  It will happen, today.  I am just not sure when.  I plan on at least one session, maybe two, of an hour to two per.  Plus some work indoors.  A shower first, which should help me get going.

It'll happen.  I even espied the chisel I will be using.  It's the biggest bit I have, and inch, inch and an half?  Something like that.  Oh... for the hinges... so they will sit flush.

It's time for a nap.  Then a shower, a slight rest, and then to work.  After the shower, I will reset dishes.

Down early, and hard.

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It wasn't too much past that last post, at 19:00... not 17:00(?), when I went down.  Oh, I knew it was 19:00, if I wrote 17:00, but the mind and body... if I made that mistake... weren't fully cooperating at that point.  Not only did I do some things, but that is the longest I  have been awake in... weeks?  It was a double shot of the stuff of life.  Anyway, it was shortly thereafter, an half hour or less, most likely less and a lot less, that I was in bed and sleeping.  I remember my head hitting the pillow, and wondering how long it would...

The next thing I remember, it was 04:52, or :47, or :57.  I had waken to void a few times, but no recall of time.  I doubt if I even bothered looking.  I probably only looked that time because while doing, I got a charlie horse and had to stretch, stand, and walk it out.  Still, not time to wake.  I think I turned the fan off, and went back to bed.  The fan helps to sleep, and stay asleep, but it makes waking much more difficult.

Around 06:00 I started to begin waking, finally getting out of bed at about 06:30, give or take smaller change... ten minutes or less... probably.  Close enough.  I tore my bed down, adding in the clean blankets, while taking a few other blankets down to be washed, and actually already starting those as I wake.  I have one more blanket... bedspread really, to wash.  Then I'll be set for winter.

Today?  First... to wake.  I have a few grumps from yesterday.  Very slight lower back, leg cramps if I am not careful, and a serious weariness of flesh.  Not exhaustion, or tiredness, but literally a bit burned out.  No major problems.  But a few serious ones?  Something.  The hope is to do spots of domestic chores, mixed with spots of working on the cages, and resting when required.

I got the base removed from out in the outbuilding.  Plus wires trimmed where needed, and a few other things.  Plus, everything is back to the garage, where it can be hinges can be insalled.  I would really like to make a top and side and bottom and side hinged, but hinges are in too short of supply, and I need those for the tops.  I'm not absolutely sure they will fit, anyway.  Ugh...  One way or another, I will sort them out.  The goal is to be able to remove the bottom cage so as to scoop poop easier.  The method is immaterial.  Still, engineering on the fly is... questionable, at best.  Yet finding the method of the wheel... which has surely been done and documented before, would take more time than just figure it out.  Ach.

That is the plan.  If I can get an hour or two, just on cages, even four days a week, I may well have it done even this week.  Though, definitely, by the... hmm... she said Saturday the 4th.... either Friday the 4th or Saturday the 5th...  I'll... clarify...  Anyway...  I will be done by then, for sure.  Even if I have to do a few minor or even major rebuilds.

I... do have chisels... if need be, I can score and remove wood for better hinge fitting, if thickness is a problem.  Oh... just... thinking.  I have been wanting to chisel something out... just not on a clock?  Yeah, maybe.  Anyway... later.  I best get to waking.  Then a shower and breakfast.  Then digesting that.  Then on to work, by... sometime before... or after, thank you Loretta... lunch.  :p  Later.

Monday... Okay.

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I received a visitor.  On their way to do some things, wanting to know if I could go along.  Of course!  A bit rough, but mostly ready.  So, on to town.  Business.  As well, while in town, I was able to get hay and wood chips.  Plus, help with a few things.  I am a bit on the jealous side... he got a welder.  Ah, well, it is the better form of jealousy... the non-begrudging sort.

Then, back to do some works.  I did some minor work on the hutch, then helped him... lightly.  I was running out of steam.  So, I did what I could to help with his projects.  A slower pace.  It is what I could do.

A call, from the rabbit lady.  First to my friend.  He gave her my contact information and then she called me.  Last I thought, it was Sunday today... so...  But, I made her a deal she... probably... could have discounted.  But she was kind, and has allowed me two more weeks.  It WILL be done.  If I have to beg help, offer a soldering stations, promise the first batches of rabbits... whatever it takes.  Or I lose everything.  I want them, for many reasons.  A secondary, stable, food source is part of it.  There is potential for furs.  And... just... a bit of an added livestock hobby.

I ended up doing a bit of work on the hutches today, and helping out a bit.  I am... satisfied, if also quite tired.  I think things started at about 9:00?  Things just finished up, for me, around 18:30?  I... took breaks, wasn't working, even standing, most of the time.  Mostly just... in attendance, though quick with a wrench or socket, putting a light on this or that, and helping as possible.  Well, and talking his ear off, when I'd forget.  Most... humans... men anyway... tend to get earaches when they hear too many words per hour!  I can overspeak in about... 13.23343243208094 seconds... for the whole hour.

Actually, I can outchat most dames.  Which... is a bit embarrassing... until it's not.  I don't see people very often.  I have... a lot I have considered.  I am curious what people think and why.  And much else.  It's like a cloistered monk, who has taken a vow of silence... voluntarily or through isolation... and gets to speak for days... to anyone who will listen... at random periods of time for random periods of time.  I've only spoken to... four people... including cashiers... maybe five to ten people in the last few months... and for minutes rather than even hours.  I can do it, it just explains... some things.  Not an excuse, a reason.

Anyway.  When I realize they are going into shellshock, I button it for as long as I can remember... before the shelling begins anew.  Oh... I can talk through the universe, and back again.

It's about time for bed.  I am truly enjoying the new sheets.  I think, at least for a time, I will keep a top sheet as well as bottom.  Some nights I might tear the bed up, some nights not.  Worth the risk, I think.  Good night.

Up.

.

.

It looks like the Trump presidency is turning up the heat, and going on the offensive.  They had to wait for this, and that, plus legal sparring takes time... things have to cook to a point where they can be argued, sued, handled, or announced.  It... just takes time.  I am not a patient man.  I wanted it, and now.  Belief is weak, especially in politicians.  Even president Trump.

Yes, I am on his side.  I didn't vote for him.  He didn't build the wall.  He won't build the wall.  Still, given the fraud I had zero doubts about from the start, and what that meant for the future, I have no choice but to support him.  He is right.  His claims are legal, binding, and etc.  However, that means nothing if you don't have physical and legal defense that can withstand what is being thrown his way, even attacking his legal teams... one already took the ticket and sold out.

Supporting president Trump is not a safe thing.  If he wins, decides to fight through, he will... possibly... go after those involved with the conspiracy.  The little fish?  Probably not.  The double voters, who live in two states, and others?  Doubtful.  Though he should strip them of their claim to a vote, ability to contribute to candidates, and their ability to participate in elections... but I don't see that... assuming he wins.

He won't be able to strip the bureaucracies of Trump-supporter haters.  We will still be facing their wrath and hate.  Remember, a large swath of government bureaucrats ARE antifa and/or blm.  So, supporting him has few upsides, and a lot of downsides... for those of us who depend on one system or another.  Heck, the medical field is filled with American and Trump haters.  Haters, not dislikers.  Believe it.  From x-ray techs, to accountants and front desk people, to the doctors and nurses.

So, yes, risks.  And... no matter how correct he may be, if a nation is corrupted, from courts to representatives, to the military... and there is some of that, probably a lot of that... to police forces... being right comes down to what you can defend.  The people, obviously, are with him.  But there is a limit in what we could do.  Coordination, etc.  He will have to depend on what is still American, and legal and moral, to defend his claims, and support his legitimacy.  That is more the catch, for me, than anything else.

Will he win?  Win lose or draw, he has my support until this has been sorted.  I still won't vote for him.  I will merely support the will of the people as legitimately voted.  Nothing more.  Until or unless he builds the wall, pretty much completely.  And raises it another ten... if it is failing.  Plus, keeping border patrol active and at similar levels, with even more lethal capacity.  Run?  Die.

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On another topic, it seems I have been shunned.  One of the catholic pages... I'm all but sure... decided a recent post was a bit too much.  Either that or they have been censored.  Being the only page to no longer be available, I am suspecting it is the former.  So be it.  I made no such claims, merely noted an anomaly which might indicate someone else did, or was jacking with me.  Still, you gotta do what you gotta do.

At first it stung.  But... stings are good.  They made me wake up and think about what I wrote.  If I indicated more that what I present here?  It is a miss-reading or miss-writing.  A, there are no living saints, b, I wouldn't count myself among such if they existed... too flawed, c, it actually frightened me to think someone else might have thought such a thing... made that connection.  But, as mentioned, you do you.

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Oh, today?  Well, to it if I can.  I have managed the cold.  I have slept a goodly bit.  It feels like days of sleep.  I'm not in good shape, but I'm not in great pain or exhaustion.  I'll.... I'll do what I can.  A shower shortly.  Dishes and laundry have been ongoing and nearly done, and will continue.  And, hopefully, out to the cages.  Tick-tock.  I seem out of time before I realize I am being timed!  Ugh.  Later.

Just enough.

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.

Awake time.  Just enough to get the ducks in.  They didn't want to go in.  I was able to get the indian runners and the muscovy drake in.  The muscovy ladies just would not go in.  Fine.  They can get in on their own, so I don't worry about them.  Herc has a heck of a time.  Between his week flying and that by the time he decides to try to get in, he can't see... it's too dark, he and the runners are the only ones which need put away.  Still, I would rather the hens go in too.  Refuse, they do.  So be it.

Wast it 17:00 or 18:00 when I went down?  After staying up to put them in, I lost track.  Something about... pushing too far past needing to sleep can make getting to be difficult.  I woke a bit before midnight.  I'm not sure I am awake for the day, I have no real control at the moment.  Sleeping six, twelve, eighteen, even longer, hours in a row, then being awake for just four to eight hours.  No control.  Nor do I have any idea when... it is.  Days are going by at a moment, or I seem to be awake for days.

I can sleep through a day whole, but when I am awake, even for short periods, it is as if that few hours lasts a week.  Odd how perception can be.  It's as if a record is put on the wrong setting, or a tape begins to stretch.  Time... the perception of it... alters.  The thing is, asleep or awake, I am so very tired all of the time.  I don't know when it is, or... was... will be?  Lost in some sort of ether time-space anomaly.

I have fixed, for the now, being too cold.  For now.  I'll get going on other things soon.  Soon?  Soon.

Later.

So very cold!

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.

I had been fine, lately.  Not today.  I am absolutely freezing.  It isn't even all that cold outside... or wasn't?  It's just above freezing, so... not really all that bad.  I don't know.  I added extra layers, missing one as a shower is still in the hoping.  Then again, replaced it with only a slightly less warm option, plus turned the heat up.  It doesn't compute.  Ah... probably the moisture.  No... it's reading 37% humidity... at least indoors.  But when it's wet outside, and above freezing, that moisture seems to get right into the bones... carries on every breeze, creeps through even layers of clothes.

Freezing.  Toe hurting type of cold.  Even have a warmer jacket on.  Finger are cold.  Blarmy.  A hot fatted tea or coffee, or two... would be good.  I'll get on that.

Oh... someone is trying to signal... something.  I had heard of this, just... hadn't... thought... things through.  Okay, yea, I hear you.  True?  I don't know.  I only write what I saw.  I don't even always consider... everything... all the way through.  I don't think any more about some of what I perceive, or do, or whatnot... than I think abut putting on my boots, or brushing my teeth, or such.  It just happens, and I seem to be roughly involved.

As I slip back to sleep...

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.

I remember someone who wondered about my guilt.  Questioned it.

Guilt?  Oh, yes.  They saw it as a weakness.  I see it as a gift.  Not the bearing of it, I hand it over as well and responsibly as possible.  But there is always... a bit of it around.  Confessing a sin, while that is good, there is often still a yearning for the sin confessed.  So, not always can the sin be fully surrendered.  Perhaps, over time.  With effort and will and work, it can eventually be rooted and burned entirely.  So, guilt will remain, to some degree.  For me, for now.

Aye, but that guilt is the blessing of the knowledge of salvation, the wanting of it, knowing what is wrong and rejecting it, if not quite fully yet, and more.  It is a mark that one is on the path.

Besides?  I could sense her guilt, and great shame.  She remembers things she has done to "prove" various things.  Things she didn't want to do.  Things she knew were wrong, on many levels.  Evil.  She knows it.  She could bury it from herself, but not from one such as me or that bit of her who knows God.  I even... saw some of her great guilts, even for just injuring herself... not just the injuries, but how they were done.  Though there were... others.  And, yes, she knows.  She just refuses to acknowledge what she knows.

Terrible things to see.  Be glad you can't see.  The most beautiful women can be the worst of monsters.  Know that.  I have seen it, plainly.  I'm not sure they have control anymore.  Some of them.  Though... this one... I did tell her there is a way back.  And, for her, there is.  If... she chose it.

So... guilt?  Well, it's as with slavery to God.  It is the least of the best, but on the way.  When I cannot do God's will, I attempt to be His slave.  When I cannot fully release the want of a sin performed, I can nurse guilt.  The lessor ways, the "easier" ways (so it seems, but truth is, letting go is far easier, when done rightly).  As with being a slave... better to become a servant, then even on to a child, than to remain a slave.  But that takes... training, learning, will, strengthened virtues... or surrendering to the darkness and going on to deaths of various sorts.

Such... thoughts.  It... must be Sunday?  Ha!  Who would have guessed.  Oh, and amen.

The phone...

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.

I finally figured some things out on it.  Calling my mother, yesterday, was the easy thing.  Adding a few contacts was next.  Not bad.  Then to texting.  Oh... what a horrible experience.  I can receive texts, but sending return texts... probably won't happen often.  No punctuation marks, not even a period... or not quickly, that I can see.  You have to go to another menu for those.  No... just... no.

I won't text often, but that is fine.  I have a number now, and can make a few calls.  And receive calls.  And receive texts.  A very good start.  Cost a lot, but that was plan and phone, so... all good.  With no sell-back value, I am going to tape over the camera.  It's not a good one anyway.  Just understand, your camera isn't really for you.  Even on these simple phones, it can be a viewer or a camera for... whoever.  Heck, they can probably take pictures with your phone and send them to themselves, or people on your list.

That fob, recently fired for masturbating in a virtual meeting?  I'd bet dollars to donuts he was jacked.  Not that I care about that one.  The ones who dumped him wanted the slot for a young, lesbian, zit of color?  Or, just didn't like that he looks like an old white guy.  He isn't, but close enough at this point.  Yea, believe as you wish.  Not your camera, phone, or mic.  You just carry it.

I did text my mother and a friend, to let them know.  I think, from now on, putting contacts into the phone?  I'll call, whoever, first.  Then add that call in as a contact.  It's not fun to create contacts on these phones.  They aren't well suited for much.  I can see why my mother hates these, for certain things.  They are simpler, but are they any more secure?  Won't be using them for as much though, so... it's more about getting your phone number jacked.  Even with my smart phone, when it was relatively new, that was done locally... if when living in Logan.

Ugh, not sure I'm ready to be awake quite yet.  So much sleep, still tired.  Can't quite wake.  I will reset the laundry and dishes, then crash for a bit longer.  Later. 

So tired.

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.

I stayed up long enough to get the birds away.  I can get them to go in earlier than sundown, but it takes a bit of patience.  A novelty I am not currently in possession.  I also put one more load of laundry through.  The woolens are dry, but I had a few other things to hang to air dry.  And the two blankets were put into the dryer.  I'll be checking those shortly.  Probably another run for them.

I did put the new sheets on.  Wonderful.  Quite nice.  I'm not sure a top sheet works for me.  I roll like a bear, often.  As well, I kick my feet out for cooling from time to time.  The top sheet ends up in a ball... somewhere.  I am going to keep trying it.  It has nice qualities.  Tucking doesn't work.  Anyway...  After this set of blankets is finished, I will wash a few more, until all of my blankets are clean for winter.  I am rethinking adding another set of pillow cases to the pillows.  Doubling up just... seems better.  I don't, technically, need it.  I just think it will allow the pillows to last a bit longer, and stay in better condition generally for their duration.

I have no idea when I went to bed.  Perhaps 19:00?  I woke several times through the night, but it didn't really catch, until about 04:00.  I sit, after fussing with a few things.  I'll get to laundry, then litter, and reset dishes?  Shortly?  Ah, and fresh tea.  Perhaps something for breakfast.  I think I missed slow acting insulin last night.  It's difficult when all I am is crushingly tired.  Can't see through it.  See some things, do what I see... or what I can of what I see... then crash so hard tomorrow and today merge into yesterday before I can wake!  Bleh.

I'll... see about things.  Later.