.
.
Vampire, werewolf, or not, I do love the night. The quiet, the shadow, the cool. Just shadow, as I see. There are few nights I cannot see well enough, even with just starlight, for minor activities. There is more to it, I sense. Something about most local minds being rested in pillows so as to not crowd the the mind space. Whether that is a real artifact or a thing garnered from actual knowledge and then incepted into my lore matters little. It affects me similarly.
It is a cooler night. Even if the temp and all is the same, the radiation heat is missing due to it having been partly cloudy. Another artifact or lore, again, matters little. Nor, really, do I care why something works, so long as I know how to take advantage of it. Science has only slightly improved since the great Grecian natural philosophers. It, as an institution, is still usually wrong. If anything, it merely cares less piled onto believing in itself more. The newest religion, trying to take the credentials of it's parent, the Catholic Church, and go on a moral spending spree. A prodigal conservatory, it will never become a real new religion, it has no heart, merely a want to be free of the very thing it says it seeks. Yes, it does take one to know one... or makes it far easier. I have simply come to my wits a bit quicker. I know my place, but not from brute force or I would be an academic, but from coming to wisdom... Or, Wisdom, really.
Funny how it is such a simple thing. Knowing you can't know, do, or be all. Knowing your flesh will fail. We all know these things but some refuse to trust that there is One who does know and won't, can't, fail. More so, the promise is that we will become like Him, being literally, and in all ways actually, children of that Creature. So fearful of not being right here, we can easily use hubris and ego to push through the reality of the forest in search of a living tree, any tree, and be so surprised when we are falling over logs and branches sprinting to a finish line we have already crossed. Some choose to finally see, some choose to race on, bruised, battered, and never able to get where they are going because they are already there. While faith is a gift, I still dither about whether that is required to see. I think it is the Holy Spirit that is required. And what is required to receive the Holy Spirit is a knee in humility to the fact that we don't know. Then... then faith can take root. Then the gift is given to the measure it is deemed necessary. We choose whether to open ourselves to the gift. This has bothered me, due to a probable earlier misconception... that being that faith was required first.
Of course, scientists have faith. They merely squander it on the flesh. The flesh, as I have indicated in many ways, is doomed forever. And a damn good thing at that. The decaying, dying, of the flesh we currently inhabit is a great good, for it has failed. Yes, yes! Without God the right thing is death. Seeing this make modern liberalism absolutely correct. It is why despite denying it, to their last breath often, they foment governments that murder their citizens, open up genocide by denying poorer people the ability to grow their own food as we do or prevent disease as we have, allowing mothers to murder their own babies even inciting that, and suggesting the old and infirm commit suicide or have doctors, or governments, "make the hard choices". Without God there is only death. And death is, to such a mind, preferable to pain, any pain... or expense if medicating that pain costs a liberal a nickle. If you learn to endure, even celebrate, the pains of life, you will come to God. Oddly enough, it is God who stands against pain and death like no other. All theories, competing theories, really... competing philosophies, theologies. Interesting. When you step back a bit it is easy to see which one is true and which ones are false. Use science if you must, use your own two eyes if you can, use your mind if you are truly brave. By their fruits, among many other things. A wisdom far older than the bible, that last. Certainly codified by it though, among many other things.
Why all this, tonight? Could be the moon. It might be the stars. I simply think it is because it was seen, recently, in a number of... events. Wonderful to see God speak through quite uninvolved means. The patterns are there. Once you can hear and see you will often not be able to not see and hear.
Strange. I am quite sure some of the people from my past would be utterly shocked to read this, and some of my other works. They knew who and what I was. They loved me as the world loves winners, conquerors, and such. They thought I had the world by the ass. Even after becoming ill I was still a master, to my mind, of my domain. And for their part in it all, I was a sort of king. They would have no way of seeing how I could have surrendered my freedoms. It would be difficult to explain that I was neither free, or that I surrendered nothing. In gaining faith... I finally won. I lost nothing, gained everything, and did it by releasing the guaranteed failure of being one's own. Somehow I am now more free and my own and more in command than I ever could have been. Very strange. But I couldn't explain it to those who believe in flesh. It is a singular path to go from one to the other and some don't have it in them.
Never mind, just... scrambling eggs and whipping up a sauce to put on them. Hmm... though... now I'm hungry! Word jumbles... bah!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
You called?
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No, I suppose you didn't. Wouldn't have mattered, that's all I'm saying.
No sleep until somewhere between 9:00 and 11:00, not up until somewhere in the 19:00 range. Bam - lights out though, when it hit. I did get stats and such done, just the last bits of medicine to take. Done, while it was on my mind. Yeah, well. Feeling great, or at least good. My days are long. It is just that my schedule is drifting. It is cloudy today, I see. Would have been great to get to some work in the garden. My hope is to keep pushing the schedule, but save enough to get in the garden in the morning tomorrow. Hopefully between being early, and hopefully still cloudy, it will be cool enough to work at the, on my schedule, late hour. It might also allow me to push further into the day. Yeah.
Tonight I hope to get to the plumbing again. I am so close but so far. If I do something wrong I could have a huge problem on my hands, so I have been stalling. With great strength, when working on delicate systems, there is potential for great harm. Which is why I haven't been tinkering. I haven't been awake enough to be careful. I would hate to have to rip out a wall and flooring to get at pipes because I pulled too hard and sprung a leak behind and under it all. You have no idea how easy that would be for me to do. *crunch*
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No, I suppose you didn't. Wouldn't have mattered, that's all I'm saying.
No sleep until somewhere between 9:00 and 11:00, not up until somewhere in the 19:00 range. Bam - lights out though, when it hit. I did get stats and such done, just the last bits of medicine to take. Done, while it was on my mind. Yeah, well. Feeling great, or at least good. My days are long. It is just that my schedule is drifting. It is cloudy today, I see. Would have been great to get to some work in the garden. My hope is to keep pushing the schedule, but save enough to get in the garden in the morning tomorrow. Hopefully between being early, and hopefully still cloudy, it will be cool enough to work at the, on my schedule, late hour. It might also allow me to push further into the day. Yeah.
Tonight I hope to get to the plumbing again. I am so close but so far. If I do something wrong I could have a huge problem on my hands, so I have been stalling. With great strength, when working on delicate systems, there is potential for great harm. Which is why I haven't been tinkering. I haven't been awake enough to be careful. I would hate to have to rip out a wall and flooring to get at pipes because I pulled too hard and sprung a leak behind and under it all. You have no idea how easy that would be for me to do. *crunch*
Yeah, well...
.
.
No, I didn't cool off fast enough to get to running the drip line, or sleeping early. Bleh. My friend says the weathermen say it is supposed to rain this weekend. Hmm, we will see. I wouldn't mind, I can work in the little rain we might get, and even with no rain just having it cloudy would cool things off bigtime. Yeah, I could live with that. I just won't believe it until I see it.
I didn't completely quit though. I found a tutorial for the camera on YouTube. I didn't care much for the presenter, but after finding nothing else I took what I could get. Whatever about him that annoys me was set aside by the fact that he is thorough, accurate, and seems well informed. I've set up my camera based on his recommendations, for the moment. I will have to take literally hundreds of pictures in each situation to be able to eventually make up my own mind, or understand more fully what the various options really do, when to use them, and figure out how to get to them fast enough in some situations to make them worth the time. For now, landscapes and portraits are the focus. Well, and some macro shots for flowers and fruits and such, perhaps. I've watched three of them, about 20 minutes per. I will probably watch them again. The battery was charging while I was watching, so I didn't have a way to replicate his notions, and I probably won't try with all of the situations. Probably.
Of course, I also ran into another problem. My usb ports aren't accepting the DVD player. I'm not exactly sure what the problem is. I tried to have XP hunt and peck for drivers but that doesn't work at all. This system isn't exactly... top of the line. And XP, Windows in general, has never worked well at finding new drivers, checking current drivers, or anything. It's always, in my experience, a personal hunt and peck. Of course even knowing what drivers are needed is an epic struggle. Bleh... It's something to do in between doing real work, if I can get to it.
Tomorrow, between working if I can get to it, though, I will be trying to figure out how to port the pictures from the camera to the computer. I know how to get them to the blog from there. It's probably a simple thing. Unless, of course, the usb plugs decide not to work with the camera either. They work with some things, not with others. Quite frustrating. All of the stuff they are working with are relatively new tech, just like the stuff they aren't working with. It's a tech crap sandwich if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I'm here to do your dirty work! :p
Later, or probably good night. Yeah.
.
No, I didn't cool off fast enough to get to running the drip line, or sleeping early. Bleh. My friend says the weathermen say it is supposed to rain this weekend. Hmm, we will see. I wouldn't mind, I can work in the little rain we might get, and even with no rain just having it cloudy would cool things off bigtime. Yeah, I could live with that. I just won't believe it until I see it.
I didn't completely quit though. I found a tutorial for the camera on YouTube. I didn't care much for the presenter, but after finding nothing else I took what I could get. Whatever about him that annoys me was set aside by the fact that he is thorough, accurate, and seems well informed. I've set up my camera based on his recommendations, for the moment. I will have to take literally hundreds of pictures in each situation to be able to eventually make up my own mind, or understand more fully what the various options really do, when to use them, and figure out how to get to them fast enough in some situations to make them worth the time. For now, landscapes and portraits are the focus. Well, and some macro shots for flowers and fruits and such, perhaps. I've watched three of them, about 20 minutes per. I will probably watch them again. The battery was charging while I was watching, so I didn't have a way to replicate his notions, and I probably won't try with all of the situations. Probably.
Of course, I also ran into another problem. My usb ports aren't accepting the DVD player. I'm not exactly sure what the problem is. I tried to have XP hunt and peck for drivers but that doesn't work at all. This system isn't exactly... top of the line. And XP, Windows in general, has never worked well at finding new drivers, checking current drivers, or anything. It's always, in my experience, a personal hunt and peck. Of course even knowing what drivers are needed is an epic struggle. Bleh... It's something to do in between doing real work, if I can get to it.
Tomorrow, between working if I can get to it, though, I will be trying to figure out how to port the pictures from the camera to the computer. I know how to get them to the blog from there. It's probably a simple thing. Unless, of course, the usb plugs decide not to work with the camera either. They work with some things, not with others. Quite frustrating. All of the stuff they are working with are relatively new tech, just like the stuff they aren't working with. It's a tech crap sandwich if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I'm here to do your dirty work! :p
Later, or probably good night. Yeah.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Not bad.
.
.
Leaving for town a bit before 17:00 I wasn't sure anything would be done when I got home. Between the heat, the time, and all else... I did get the cutters I wanted, and another punch. I can't help myself, on some things. When I see what I like... *plunk* That and dinner, and getting my friend out of his dungeon with me out of mine. Not bad.
It was, and remains, hot. I mean HOT. They SAY it got to 95 and that it is 91 now. I'm not buying it. Whatever. Returning home before 20:00, with enough time to set up the sprinklers, get the side sprinklers going, and reset the timers so as to possibly get into the garden and start setting up the new system... or to go if it gets too late but more into the night. Some of the garden really really needs it. Some of it has settled, not even wilting without water for half a week. Yeah, I must have varied soil out there.
I need a little break after setting that all up. I did take some pictures, of the garden and some of my plants, and a few of the lawn. The battery on the camera is almost dead so I best figure out how to charge it before messing with trying to figure out how to plug it into the machine and bring you my first pictures or my projects, pictures of the real things not analogs. You shouldn't really go by the pictures regarding the camera. I haven't bothered reading the instructions yet. So... It's just on some random settings, literally pointing and shooting. You will get to see what the settings look like right out of the box though, if that might be highly variable. The only thing I made sure was off was the GPS. None of your bizwax.
But, if I don't get to anything tonight, and I might not, I may have pushed enough today to sleep well so that I can get to it tomorrow. This is the first day I almost felt almost productive in a few days anyway. Hmm... Now to try to cool down and hope to get out to the garden in an hour or less... Maybe. Later.
.
Leaving for town a bit before 17:00 I wasn't sure anything would be done when I got home. Between the heat, the time, and all else... I did get the cutters I wanted, and another punch. I can't help myself, on some things. When I see what I like... *plunk* That and dinner, and getting my friend out of his dungeon with me out of mine. Not bad.
It was, and remains, hot. I mean HOT. They SAY it got to 95 and that it is 91 now. I'm not buying it. Whatever. Returning home before 20:00, with enough time to set up the sprinklers, get the side sprinklers going, and reset the timers so as to possibly get into the garden and start setting up the new system... or to go if it gets too late but more into the night. Some of the garden really really needs it. Some of it has settled, not even wilting without water for half a week. Yeah, I must have varied soil out there.
I need a little break after setting that all up. I did take some pictures, of the garden and some of my plants, and a few of the lawn. The battery on the camera is almost dead so I best figure out how to charge it before messing with trying to figure out how to plug it into the machine and bring you my first pictures or my projects, pictures of the real things not analogs. You shouldn't really go by the pictures regarding the camera. I haven't bothered reading the instructions yet. So... It's just on some random settings, literally pointing and shooting. You will get to see what the settings look like right out of the box though, if that might be highly variable. The only thing I made sure was off was the GPS. None of your bizwax.
But, if I don't get to anything tonight, and I might not, I may have pushed enough today to sleep well so that I can get to it tomorrow. This is the first day I almost felt almost productive in a few days anyway. Hmm... Now to try to cool down and hope to get out to the garden in an hour or less... Maybe. Later.
Yeah, well, maybe a bit more.
.
.
While I couldn't do much, I did get to a bit this morning. My doctor appointment has been rescheduled and I scheduled an eye doctor appointment. All will be done before I leave for vacation. My friend called and wants to go out to eat. Well... I didn't want to go in, but he didn't mind waiting until around 17:00, for it to cool a bit. Which... means I best hurry. While in town he wants to do a bit of shopping, and I might just pick up the right tool for cutting the hoses. I just hate "making due" when $12 is all that is standing in my way. Yeah... I like it done right. I can make do, I just prefer not to do so.
I have to try to make it short. The plants really need water and I can't take too much heat. I have a splendid time in the evenings, the thing is there is so little light, even with a couple of good flashlights and okay lanterns, when working on something brand new. I might end up trickle watering a weed or something. *laughs* Well, yeah, okay. Later.
Hmm, skip the shower. I took one last night and I have some clean baseball caps to tame the mess. Later indeed.
.
While I couldn't do much, I did get to a bit this morning. My doctor appointment has been rescheduled and I scheduled an eye doctor appointment. All will be done before I leave for vacation. My friend called and wants to go out to eat. Well... I didn't want to go in, but he didn't mind waiting until around 17:00, for it to cool a bit. Which... means I best hurry. While in town he wants to do a bit of shopping, and I might just pick up the right tool for cutting the hoses. I just hate "making due" when $12 is all that is standing in my way. Yeah... I like it done right. I can make do, I just prefer not to do so.
I have to try to make it short. The plants really need water and I can't take too much heat. I have a splendid time in the evenings, the thing is there is so little light, even with a couple of good flashlights and okay lanterns, when working on something brand new. I might end up trickle watering a weed or something. *laughs* Well, yeah, okay. Later.
Hmm, skip the shower. I took one last night and I have some clean baseball caps to tame the mess. Later indeed.
Oh well, afternoons it is.
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.
My life is again on a sliding scale. I have zero control, like driving and hitting ice. I am keeping my sleep to about six to eight hours. The rest of it is slipping out of my grip.
I am going to try my hand at installing the drip system later. It is far too hot to even think about stepping out. The news says 92 heading toward 93. After letting Sam out I am doubting those numbers. Then again there is a bit of... what... heat exhaustion... that just builds... in the dirt, in us. We haven't had less than 90 more than probably three times this summer, meaning it is a nasty hot summer here (should just be hitting 90, on average, now). Few cloudy days as well. A few of those a week would help a bunch. Still, perhaps later I will be able to trudge out and monkey with things. I am not sure tin snips will cut the pipes, but bolt cutters might. I would rather have the right tools, but I don't want to go back into town. That's just a stinkhole of hot, in, there, and out. Maybe later. Always maybe, often later, in this summer.
At least I hit my stats, weight, and medicine first thing. When I am off track, it becomes difficult to keep these things arranged. Ah, now to feed the girls. They are patient. Even with my slipping sleep they have learned to give me a bit of time to acclimate to being conscious again before begging, often as much with their meows as with their tiny, very sharp, mean claws. Yeah, so I try to reward them as soon as systems are back online enough to do so. And give them some loving with the food. Unlike some vegans, I don't nearly murder them with my ideology. Then again, I'm much more with them than against them. Still, I don't fry their food, or otherwise cook it. I'm actually jealous of eating nearly pure raw meat myself. I do it when I can trust to do it, in the doses I can take, tartare to sashimi, on to ceviche if that isn't actually raw, but even I have limits. Oh, here are some ideas I had not heard of before in that vein. Num! Man, now I'm HUNGRY! Ah, but better feed the cats before I get eaten alive myself.
Yeah, be well, stay cool, all that other jazz... Feed girls, eat. Check. Yeah, later.
.
My life is again on a sliding scale. I have zero control, like driving and hitting ice. I am keeping my sleep to about six to eight hours. The rest of it is slipping out of my grip.
I am going to try my hand at installing the drip system later. It is far too hot to even think about stepping out. The news says 92 heading toward 93. After letting Sam out I am doubting those numbers. Then again there is a bit of... what... heat exhaustion... that just builds... in the dirt, in us. We haven't had less than 90 more than probably three times this summer, meaning it is a nasty hot summer here (should just be hitting 90, on average, now). Few cloudy days as well. A few of those a week would help a bunch. Still, perhaps later I will be able to trudge out and monkey with things. I am not sure tin snips will cut the pipes, but bolt cutters might. I would rather have the right tools, but I don't want to go back into town. That's just a stinkhole of hot, in, there, and out. Maybe later. Always maybe, often later, in this summer.
At least I hit my stats, weight, and medicine first thing. When I am off track, it becomes difficult to keep these things arranged. Ah, now to feed the girls. They are patient. Even with my slipping sleep they have learned to give me a bit of time to acclimate to being conscious again before begging, often as much with their meows as with their tiny, very sharp, mean claws. Yeah, so I try to reward them as soon as systems are back online enough to do so. And give them some loving with the food. Unlike some vegans, I don't nearly murder them with my ideology. Then again, I'm much more with them than against them. Still, I don't fry their food, or otherwise cook it. I'm actually jealous of eating nearly pure raw meat myself. I do it when I can trust to do it, in the doses I can take, tartare to sashimi, on to ceviche if that isn't actually raw, but even I have limits. Oh, here are some ideas I had not heard of before in that vein. Num! Man, now I'm HUNGRY! Ah, but better feed the cats before I get eaten alive myself.
Yeah, be well, stay cool, all that other jazz... Feed girls, eat. Check. Yeah, later.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
That took...
.
.
Bah. Let us all say it together. That took longer than I expected.
Well, the sewing shop ended up taking a very long time. The automatic bobbin winder was kaput. He worked with it for quite a bit back in the shop, then a bit more on the floor. It just didn't work. He just happened to have a spare. Le garbage boutique, or some such. Can't remember how D.C. terms it, too hot and bothered to check right immediately. I mentioned the notion, he just calls it his boneyard. Good but uninspired. No problem, though, he has one, that puts him notches above me. D.C. wins the prize though. High class culture all over that redneck white trach system the mech. has going. Boutique. Love that. :) Jealous, but...
Yeah, that took... hours. No problem on my side. He showed me how to run the machine, where to oil, some of it doesn't work, but for basic sewing... I asked if I needed another machine for things this couldn't do. He looked at me like a man looks at a man eating ribeye, asking what the best piece of beef is. Heh. No, he said I AM sewing with the best. I love a man who loves his tech, and knows his tech. Jealous, but... I think he liked having a man to deal with. Women are just weird. When they aren't consciously or unconsciously hitting on a guy, they are complaining, whining, or such. He liked when something didn't work I just wanted to see how to fix it or break it down further. Men loves our women, but too much is too much. And tech... is easier to solve and can be played with more and longer, if good tech without complaints. Never mind.
I got everything else on my list. The memory chip was installed before I left the parking lot. I couldn't find batteries, and doubt if they carry them locally anyway. Too many different cameras. Even the camera shop would probably have to order. Further, chips were more expensive even at Walmart. I took my first two pictures, of the gear for the drip irrigation, before anything has been connected. A picture of every piece going in, or potentially. While buying the end clasps I went ahead and bought a couple other gizmos with which to tinker. An inline valve, a couple of inline connecters of several sorts as well. If I have to tinker, I want more of the pieces with which to tinker. Hmm, didn't get a cutter but I think I have things that will work that way. Where is my... I know where the bastard sword is, thought the arming dagger is probably sharper. Just... thinking.
Too late to tinker with much tonight, and I am too hot from being in town all day. Yeah, but... I did get this part of it done. I am pleased. If I can figure out how to get up early tomorrow I will get that system in, or started. Then I have to hit the weeds. After a few days of that, then I have to get back to plumbing. Gah! Too much, too little time, not moving fast enough, too much else in the queue. FFS, can't anything just run smoothly for a few weeks? Ackh! Later.
.
Bah. Let us all say it together. That took longer than I expected.
Well, the sewing shop ended up taking a very long time. The automatic bobbin winder was kaput. He worked with it for quite a bit back in the shop, then a bit more on the floor. It just didn't work. He just happened to have a spare. Le garbage boutique, or some such. Can't remember how D.C. terms it, too hot and bothered to check right immediately. I mentioned the notion, he just calls it his boneyard. Good but uninspired. No problem, though, he has one, that puts him notches above me. D.C. wins the prize though. High class culture all over that redneck white trach system the mech. has going. Boutique. Love that. :) Jealous, but...
Yeah, that took... hours. No problem on my side. He showed me how to run the machine, where to oil, some of it doesn't work, but for basic sewing... I asked if I needed another machine for things this couldn't do. He looked at me like a man looks at a man eating ribeye, asking what the best piece of beef is. Heh. No, he said I AM sewing with the best. I love a man who loves his tech, and knows his tech. Jealous, but... I think he liked having a man to deal with. Women are just weird. When they aren't consciously or unconsciously hitting on a guy, they are complaining, whining, or such. He liked when something didn't work I just wanted to see how to fix it or break it down further. Men loves our women, but too much is too much. And tech... is easier to solve and can be played with more and longer, if good tech without complaints. Never mind.
I got everything else on my list. The memory chip was installed before I left the parking lot. I couldn't find batteries, and doubt if they carry them locally anyway. Too many different cameras. Even the camera shop would probably have to order. Further, chips were more expensive even at Walmart. I took my first two pictures, of the gear for the drip irrigation, before anything has been connected. A picture of every piece going in, or potentially. While buying the end clasps I went ahead and bought a couple other gizmos with which to tinker. An inline valve, a couple of inline connecters of several sorts as well. If I have to tinker, I want more of the pieces with which to tinker. Hmm, didn't get a cutter but I think I have things that will work that way. Where is my... I know where the bastard sword is, thought the arming dagger is probably sharper. Just... thinking.
Too late to tinker with much tonight, and I am too hot from being in town all day. Yeah, but... I did get this part of it done. I am pleased. If I can figure out how to get up early tomorrow I will get that system in, or started. Then I have to hit the weeds. After a few days of that, then I have to get back to plumbing. Gah! Too much, too little time, not moving fast enough, too much else in the queue. FFS, can't anything just run smoothly for a few weeks? Ackh! Later.
Well, we will see.
.
.
Up very late. I woke several times but could not rise. Medicine? I don't know. I know I have missed in there, and tried to make up for it. I missed Monday whole. I'm sort of lost on a desert highway with just enough water, proverbially, to keep going. I simply know nothing, save forward. It isn't the meds, the heat, or such, themselves. It's just the way of it, for now.
I was checking the news and... just to explain how dangerous the heat really is, and it has been hot... Three people have died while hiking in it in one area, this month. Probably didn't take enough water, arrogance kissing ignorance and what time is given is then taken. I will pray for those souls. That is pretty much what this summer has been, all summer. Even here, where I am, mostly. I simply don't go, and if I do I take lots of water. My guess is if they had taken a couple of extra canteens they would be fine now. I have to wonder if she didn't want the canteens because the water tastes funny for the canteens most can find or afford? I've worked my way over that, and quickly, once I found the benefits. Many don't. I say that because of previous women I have known. Wanted only metal, and not aluminum (which is also evil in lib minds), and, and, and... until the only canteens left, if they could be found, were priced out of consideration for more than one. Yeah, from experience. Of course, I bought my own, and a Camel-Bak. I wouldn't go along to get along and while I would share, it was gingerly, grudgingly, with much talk about expenses, reality, and getting over "taste" issues, until she surrendered her notions. I win! Doom! No, fine. Good game. No hard feelings. *Woot!* I win!
I didn't wake until 14:00 and change. I did get right to things. Weight is up eight pounds somehow. A meal a day? Dunno. Could be water. Even with the water pill I still have to be conscious enough to know to pee. Sounds common sense but this event precludes common anything. Go drift in the desert for a week. If you survive you will begin to understand. It is of the mind, or in the mind that things are going wrong. The rest of the stats were good, save blood sugar which is still higher than taking something for it should indicate. The girls were fed and I took a short trip into the wilds of my garden. Ugh. The things that were too wet are coming around, the other things are too dry. Yeah...
But the short trip gave me something that will get me into town shortly. First to the sewing machine shop, since I suspect they close early. Next to find a memory chip or two while looking at what they might have for extra batteries, and finally to pick up end caps for drip irrigation. First though a shower.
Oh, I know I love my cats, and cats generally. It seems I love them more and more, and even feral, French even!, cats seem to know how make Doom happy. I truly despise poodles, and generally the type of chicks that have and cater to them annoy the absolute tolerance out of me. If there is a dog I would love to eat, it is the poodle. Especially the pet of one of those upper crusty libtards dumb broads, and right in front of them. I would offer to share, bring the meat, Doom is more generous than usual. Them's cats are after my very own soul heart. Hate those dogs.
Dreams, of a very strange nature, complex events and ideas all presented backwards, though I think correctly. I can't remember, I just remember being fascinated. The happenings were intricate, in the vein of the workings of a fine watch, I gained some understandings by seeing them in reverse. While I can't remember at this point, I think the notions were stored for future use. It concerns when to alter events so as to attempt to create a varied, perhaps logically chosen, outcome. I also saw that, sometimes, simply avoiding a specific outcome is enough. As mortals we get rare chances to affect the world. We do have to be ready, forewarned, and knowledgeable. Even then our efforts may come to naught if there are too many others working for said outcome, knowingly or not. We are all borgs, cogs, pieces of the machine, if few of us are such consciously. I've always known if I don't always like, or even choose to play my part. What bothers me are those who neither know or care, and those who know but don't care. And those who believe all pieces are equal. All of those are disastrous, unnatural, lead to obvious evil as is easy to see. Not sure which is worse of the first. The latter is evil through and through. Some cogs where meant to not be more than a part player, others... Or other parts of what they do... Death comes from ignorance, arrogance, and bliss. A death beyond the grave.
I have things to do. Later.
.
Up very late. I woke several times but could not rise. Medicine? I don't know. I know I have missed in there, and tried to make up for it. I missed Monday whole. I'm sort of lost on a desert highway with just enough water, proverbially, to keep going. I simply know nothing, save forward. It isn't the meds, the heat, or such, themselves. It's just the way of it, for now.
I was checking the news and... just to explain how dangerous the heat really is, and it has been hot... Three people have died while hiking in it in one area, this month. Probably didn't take enough water, arrogance kissing ignorance and what time is given is then taken. I will pray for those souls. That is pretty much what this summer has been, all summer. Even here, where I am, mostly. I simply don't go, and if I do I take lots of water. My guess is if they had taken a couple of extra canteens they would be fine now. I have to wonder if she didn't want the canteens because the water tastes funny for the canteens most can find or afford? I've worked my way over that, and quickly, once I found the benefits. Many don't. I say that because of previous women I have known. Wanted only metal, and not aluminum (which is also evil in lib minds), and, and, and... until the only canteens left, if they could be found, were priced out of consideration for more than one. Yeah, from experience. Of course, I bought my own, and a Camel-Bak. I wouldn't go along to get along and while I would share, it was gingerly, grudgingly, with much talk about expenses, reality, and getting over "taste" issues, until she surrendered her notions. I win! Doom! No, fine. Good game. No hard feelings. *Woot!* I win!
I didn't wake until 14:00 and change. I did get right to things. Weight is up eight pounds somehow. A meal a day? Dunno. Could be water. Even with the water pill I still have to be conscious enough to know to pee. Sounds common sense but this event precludes common anything. Go drift in the desert for a week. If you survive you will begin to understand. It is of the mind, or in the mind that things are going wrong. The rest of the stats were good, save blood sugar which is still higher than taking something for it should indicate. The girls were fed and I took a short trip into the wilds of my garden. Ugh. The things that were too wet are coming around, the other things are too dry. Yeah...
But the short trip gave me something that will get me into town shortly. First to the sewing machine shop, since I suspect they close early. Next to find a memory chip or two while looking at what they might have for extra batteries, and finally to pick up end caps for drip irrigation. First though a shower.
Oh, I know I love my cats, and cats generally. It seems I love them more and more, and even feral, French even!, cats seem to know how make Doom happy. I truly despise poodles, and generally the type of chicks that have and cater to them annoy the absolute tolerance out of me. If there is a dog I would love to eat, it is the poodle. Especially the pet of one of those upper crusty libtards dumb broads, and right in front of them. I would offer to share, bring the meat, Doom is more generous than usual. Them's cats are after my very own soul heart. Hate those dogs.
Dreams, of a very strange nature, complex events and ideas all presented backwards, though I think correctly. I can't remember, I just remember being fascinated. The happenings were intricate, in the vein of the workings of a fine watch, I gained some understandings by seeing them in reverse. While I can't remember at this point, I think the notions were stored for future use. It concerns when to alter events so as to attempt to create a varied, perhaps logically chosen, outcome. I also saw that, sometimes, simply avoiding a specific outcome is enough. As mortals we get rare chances to affect the world. We do have to be ready, forewarned, and knowledgeable. Even then our efforts may come to naught if there are too many others working for said outcome, knowingly or not. We are all borgs, cogs, pieces of the machine, if few of us are such consciously. I've always known if I don't always like, or even choose to play my part. What bothers me are those who neither know or care, and those who know but don't care. And those who believe all pieces are equal. All of those are disastrous, unnatural, lead to obvious evil as is easy to see. Not sure which is worse of the first. The latter is evil through and through. Some cogs where meant to not be more than a part player, others... Or other parts of what they do... Death comes from ignorance, arrogance, and bliss. A death beyond the grave.
I have things to do. Later.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Yeah, no.
.
.
Less than I thought. Simply couldn't get going. Hmm, I'll keep working on it. Worn but not really tired. Lack of concentration. I head out to do something and forget before I get there. Nothing like standing around the kitchen, a foot from the sink, with a blank look on my face. Grabbing a soda or making an iced coffee, then back to where I came from in the hopes something will make sense. Yeah, okay. Now you know why most Yetis don't own homes. They would just get lost while out and about and forget where their home was.
I'll give it a shot tomorrow. Probably just to town, and early. I am completely out of tobacco, something I haven't done in... a year or two, maybe three, now. Ah well, it is a very potent incentive to get to town. If I can do that early enough I am hoping to get the drip system installed early, while it is still somewhat cool.
Let me see, the sewing machine, caps for the ends of the 1/2 piping, and a memory chip for the camera. Maybe two. I ought to get another battery as well. Not this month. Hmm, I wonder if they have a car charger or if it can be charged through a usb port. Ugh.
Later, or good night if I can do that.
.
Less than I thought. Simply couldn't get going. Hmm, I'll keep working on it. Worn but not really tired. Lack of concentration. I head out to do something and forget before I get there. Nothing like standing around the kitchen, a foot from the sink, with a blank look on my face. Grabbing a soda or making an iced coffee, then back to where I came from in the hopes something will make sense. Yeah, okay. Now you know why most Yetis don't own homes. They would just get lost while out and about and forget where their home was.
I'll give it a shot tomorrow. Probably just to town, and early. I am completely out of tobacco, something I haven't done in... a year or two, maybe three, now. Ah well, it is a very potent incentive to get to town. If I can do that early enough I am hoping to get the drip system installed early, while it is still somewhat cool.
Let me see, the sewing machine, caps for the ends of the 1/2 piping, and a memory chip for the camera. Maybe two. I ought to get another battery as well. Not this month. Hmm, I wonder if they have a car charger or if it can be charged through a usb port. Ugh.
Later, or good night if I can do that.
Not today.
.
.
Hmm, not sure what the problem is, just that there is a problem. So, things go a little slower for a bit. I've had much worse. I am merely taking going to town off the plate for the day. Tomorrow, most likely. I am starting to slip on medicines. I don't think medicine is the problem, it doesn't seem like heat is the problem. It is just a down time.
Instead of going to town and digging into a half dozen other things I will simply do a few things around here, and more when it cools a bit. I need to reset the hoses so the yard and garden get watered, I plan to get back to the plumbing problem, and I might get a load of dishes at least soaking and a load or two of laundry going. The last two I can start even while it is hot. I've got the cave rigged so that it stays pretty cool to the senses, if it is rather warm in truth, for me. Feeling cool is good enough considering it says it is 94 here. Then again, it might honestly be 74, assuming that is the correct temperature, in the cave. The stonework does wonders that way, and now that I have figured out how to rig the cave to positively cool down at night and the nights have been cool enough, 57 is the low for tonight for example, keeping a 20 degree difference, possibly more, isn't impossible. Throw in the ac at key points and I am betting with just the window ac I can keep it in the high 60's to low 70's even when it goes over 100 outside.
I can, often, still feel the creep of the outside heat, especially in this, the computer room, more so since I open one of the curtains for the plant pets I still have in here. I should just take those out and let them sink or swim, so as to keep it buttoned up whole and full in here. I guess I just like having green stuff and winter will pretty much kill everything. So I am enjoying what I can, and it doesn't effect the rest of the cave due to this being a stick built portion of my home, adjoining, abutting really, the stone work, so the heat stays out here mostly.
I called my mom, again. I called her yesterday, just to tell her about the sewing machine, but forgot that part. No harm, and as long as she isn't too busy I think she likes to talk, be included. She was absolutely thrilled. The sewing machine was a gift from her, when I lived in Iowa. I toted it all the way. All metal, heavy duty, weighs a ton, paid off. She knows her machines, if it was a bit of a gamble as well. I think she will love using it while here as well.
.
Hmm, not sure what the problem is, just that there is a problem. So, things go a little slower for a bit. I've had much worse. I am merely taking going to town off the plate for the day. Tomorrow, most likely. I am starting to slip on medicines. I don't think medicine is the problem, it doesn't seem like heat is the problem. It is just a down time.
Instead of going to town and digging into a half dozen other things I will simply do a few things around here, and more when it cools a bit. I need to reset the hoses so the yard and garden get watered, I plan to get back to the plumbing problem, and I might get a load of dishes at least soaking and a load or two of laundry going. The last two I can start even while it is hot. I've got the cave rigged so that it stays pretty cool to the senses, if it is rather warm in truth, for me. Feeling cool is good enough considering it says it is 94 here. Then again, it might honestly be 74, assuming that is the correct temperature, in the cave. The stonework does wonders that way, and now that I have figured out how to rig the cave to positively cool down at night and the nights have been cool enough, 57 is the low for tonight for example, keeping a 20 degree difference, possibly more, isn't impossible. Throw in the ac at key points and I am betting with just the window ac I can keep it in the high 60's to low 70's even when it goes over 100 outside.
I can, often, still feel the creep of the outside heat, especially in this, the computer room, more so since I open one of the curtains for the plant pets I still have in here. I should just take those out and let them sink or swim, so as to keep it buttoned up whole and full in here. I guess I just like having green stuff and winter will pretty much kill everything. So I am enjoying what I can, and it doesn't effect the rest of the cave due to this being a stick built portion of my home, adjoining, abutting really, the stone work, so the heat stays out here mostly.
I called my mom, again. I called her yesterday, just to tell her about the sewing machine, but forgot that part. No harm, and as long as she isn't too busy I think she likes to talk, be included. She was absolutely thrilled. The sewing machine was a gift from her, when I lived in Iowa. I toted it all the way. All metal, heavy duty, weighs a ton, paid off. She knows her machines, if it was a bit of a gamble as well. I think she will love using it while here as well.
Oh well.
.
.
I know I do what I can. I don't care what the world thinks. I couldn't get to bed until after 7:00 and I am just waking at half past noon. I don't feel bad or good. I simply am not feeling anything. And, yeah... only one beer last night so, no. It's all I was into, usually the way of it. Tasty though.
Some of my order came in. One of the things, beside the grill/smoker I ordered (which is currently $100 more than it was since I first put it in my basket AND on backorder! Gah!) was a camera. It's a point and click. We'll see how well it does. D.C. swears by it but I'm not holding my breath. And foam was thinking about a new point and click, namely this one. As a staunch disbeliever in point and clicks, I am the perfect guy to do a review. If you want an honest review with no smoke blown up your ass for the sake of getting a cut from one of these generally lousy camera companies. I can't be bribed.
It's a Canon PowerShot SX260 HS. I guess just a simple name would be too much to ask for, right in the box. They keep changing the numbers and letters to try to keep anyone from remembering just how bad the one before was. Then they switch were they sell what so you have no idea if this was supposed to be good or bad if you read reviews somewhere then go into the store, assuming what you reviewed is even available anywhere anymore. Competitiveness seems to be dead though. The trick is to attach littler companies to companies that are too big to fail, domestically, in a foreign market, or better yet both. Don't worry about what's behind the curtains.
First thing, I figured I would need to charge the thing. I had been almost certain this was supposed to be both battery and rechargeable ready. Not so much. Which means this thing will die very quickly on the playa, out in the woods and mountains, especially when it is hot. Heat eats literal as well to my figurative batteries. Oh well. So, I put the rechargeable proprietary piece of junk into the camera, and hit the 'on' button just in case. She fired right up. They must actually have at least charge checked the battery. I doubt more, that might cost a nickel. Companies would rather have something on the move, out or back, than sit on stock, which is half the reason Q.C. is a dying breed. Well, and it wouldn't surprise me if government is leaning on them to loosen Q.C., with the broken window theory extender that more shipping is good for business (ignoring all the damage... plus wasted, truly empty, expenditure of dollars).
You didn't think you would get a simple review, did you? I'm not some bot who just popped out of the oven, then some groupmindthinkschool(s)(tm). I rejected that aspect of those while I was there while refusing to become some sort of beatnik or druggy or institutional stooge bitter loser academic. I found my own way, and can explore it since I am not beholding to politics for personal funding right yet. At least I wasn't broken into the typical clockwork orange quota. Then again I didn't deserve to be broken. If they did try anyway. Back to it.
Okay, so she runs. But she is so tiny. Now, admittedly, I have big hands. They aren't truly giant class, and they are even small for my size, as I have suggested I can (usually) palm a basketball without too much fuss. But this thing is going to be tricky to keep in my paws. First thing, the wrist strap was attached. Dropped the damned thing (if only into my lap while sitting) twice while trying to hook that fish. Fine, that done, back to it. I lit it up, focused on my plants. *click* Cannot store picture. Hmm? Oh, probably a memory card thing. Yep. So I dig through the box. No memory card to be found. Losers. Really? No where in anything I read did I see anything about memory not being there. I am sure it is there, or now, but in small print somewhere nearly invisible. I don't even know what memory card it takes, if I am pretty sure where it goes.
When I get that I will continue with the review. Hmm, I need to pick up the sewing machine, oh and caps for the trickler rows. I might as well wake a bit then get back into town. Hmm, before I do that I ought to reschedule a couple of appointments, the one I missed and the one I am going to miss (due to BMan, so hush, I wasn't planning to be rude, just gone).
Later.
.
I know I do what I can. I don't care what the world thinks. I couldn't get to bed until after 7:00 and I am just waking at half past noon. I don't feel bad or good. I simply am not feeling anything. And, yeah... only one beer last night so, no. It's all I was into, usually the way of it. Tasty though.
You didn't think you would get a simple review, did you? I'm not some bot who just popped out of the oven, then some groupmindthinkschool(s)(tm). I rejected that aspect of those while I was there while refusing to become some sort of beatnik or druggy or institutional stooge bitter loser academic. I found my own way, and can explore it since I am not beholding to politics for personal funding right yet. At least I wasn't broken into the typical clockwork orange quota. Then again I didn't deserve to be broken. If they did try anyway. Back to it.
Okay, so she runs. But she is so tiny. Now, admittedly, I have big hands. They aren't truly giant class, and they are even small for my size, as I have suggested I can (usually) palm a basketball without too much fuss. But this thing is going to be tricky to keep in my paws. First thing, the wrist strap was attached. Dropped the damned thing (if only into my lap while sitting) twice while trying to hook that fish. Fine, that done, back to it. I lit it up, focused on my plants. *click* Cannot store picture. Hmm? Oh, probably a memory card thing. Yep. So I dig through the box. No memory card to be found. Losers. Really? No where in anything I read did I see anything about memory not being there. I am sure it is there, or now, but in small print somewhere nearly invisible. I don't even know what memory card it takes, if I am pretty sure where it goes.
When I get that I will continue with the review. Hmm, I need to pick up the sewing machine, oh and caps for the trickler rows. I might as well wake a bit then get back into town. Hmm, before I do that I ought to reschedule a couple of appointments, the one I missed and the one I am going to miss (due to BMan, so hush, I wasn't planning to be rude, just gone).
Later.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Fine, I made it. Empty handed but present.
.
.
It's just been too long since I played to role. If I had been a little more on the ball today I would have ordered pizzas for delivery. That simply wasn't the case. I let them know, in case they didn't, that I was receiving neither phone nor email messages about the meeting times, dates, and places. The last time I was involved, for several months, the meeting date was moving from day to day, time to time, and even varying in when it was happening in the month. I see why I didn't get email. They had the email that requires caps and their compiler didn't set it up that way. So I gave them my real email, since that other one was purely made for the purposes of the Church and such... a less... aggressive email address. That just doesn't seem to work well. Then again, I am not sure I am welcome. Some of the guys like me, some of them would rather I were dead. Then again, I don't think they understand about heart conditions. Most people don't realize how severe that is. We'll see if they I actually get contacted in the future.
After the meeting I found my way to the hardware store. I did buy a gripping puncture tool for the 1/2 pipe, another 100' of 1/2 pipe, and a couple of 1/2 spread sprinklers to consider for the official row type crops and corn. That is what is happening tomorrow. After the neighbor's son mowed my lawn the sprinklers were not put back in place, so... I want that done. I had hoped to do that tonight, whatever I could get done, after the appointment fell through, but then I got the email for the meeting. Gah! No, it's funny, mostly. It's just... when I can keep up there is always a surprise right around the corner.
I was thinking about something else tonight. I thought life would improve as I got better. The problem is I am so far down the hole that when I get better they immediately want me to do physical activity, exercise really. Which puts me right back to where I was when I was sick, as for free time. My guess is, as I continue to get better, assuming that as a strong possibility, I will then begin filling in the empty spots with other stuff. If I get well enough I will then kick it up another notch and head back to college. Then again, if the physical aspect of getting to college is easy for me, the mental part isn't that bad. But having to shove through both the physical and the mental at the same time was an absolute bear. Not that engineering school is easy, and there is a built in preference for foreigners and non-whites in academia so a white, or white looking/sounding, guy has to really push it to get ahead. Oh, believe it. Oh to be a black woman. Then again... hehe... they are promoted out of interesting work back to office work for their uselessness. So, yeah... no. Industry does it's best to try to fix what academia fronts. Which is half of the reason they are moving overseas. At some point, academia became unstoppable and there aren't enough quota jobs for the types academia puts out. Most of which shouldn't even be employed by the lackluster government jobs available to them. But, that's what is left, until the government sinks itself with all those quotas. Detroit, here we come!
Never mind... The thing is, if I become truly healthy, due to the nature of how I work, I will end up with far less time for myself and my own little hobbies. Oh, I would miss it, if it happened. I have to think even Jackie Paper looks back, from time to time, on his lost friend. Right now all I have is my dragon friend, this blog, my girls, and some odd jobs when I can stand long enough to get to them. More is less, innit? Yeah, and I would happily take it.
Later.
.
It's just been too long since I played to role. If I had been a little more on the ball today I would have ordered pizzas for delivery. That simply wasn't the case. I let them know, in case they didn't, that I was receiving neither phone nor email messages about the meeting times, dates, and places. The last time I was involved, for several months, the meeting date was moving from day to day, time to time, and even varying in when it was happening in the month. I see why I didn't get email. They had the email that requires caps and their compiler didn't set it up that way. So I gave them my real email, since that other one was purely made for the purposes of the Church and such... a less... aggressive email address. That just doesn't seem to work well. Then again, I am not sure I am welcome. Some of the guys like me, some of them would rather I were dead. Then again, I don't think they understand about heart conditions. Most people don't realize how severe that is. We'll see if they I actually get contacted in the future.
After the meeting I found my way to the hardware store. I did buy a gripping puncture tool for the 1/2 pipe, another 100' of 1/2 pipe, and a couple of 1/2 spread sprinklers to consider for the official row type crops and corn. That is what is happening tomorrow. After the neighbor's son mowed my lawn the sprinklers were not put back in place, so... I want that done. I had hoped to do that tonight, whatever I could get done, after the appointment fell through, but then I got the email for the meeting. Gah! No, it's funny, mostly. It's just... when I can keep up there is always a surprise right around the corner.
I was thinking about something else tonight. I thought life would improve as I got better. The problem is I am so far down the hole that when I get better they immediately want me to do physical activity, exercise really. Which puts me right back to where I was when I was sick, as for free time. My guess is, as I continue to get better, assuming that as a strong possibility, I will then begin filling in the empty spots with other stuff. If I get well enough I will then kick it up another notch and head back to college. Then again, if the physical aspect of getting to college is easy for me, the mental part isn't that bad. But having to shove through both the physical and the mental at the same time was an absolute bear. Not that engineering school is easy, and there is a built in preference for foreigners and non-whites in academia so a white, or white looking/sounding, guy has to really push it to get ahead. Oh, believe it. Oh to be a black woman. Then again... hehe... they are promoted out of interesting work back to office work for their uselessness. So, yeah... no. Industry does it's best to try to fix what academia fronts. Which is half of the reason they are moving overseas. At some point, academia became unstoppable and there aren't enough quota jobs for the types academia puts out. Most of which shouldn't even be employed by the lackluster government jobs available to them. But, that's what is left, until the government sinks itself with all those quotas. Detroit, here we come!
Never mind... The thing is, if I become truly healthy, due to the nature of how I work, I will end up with far less time for myself and my own little hobbies. Oh, I would miss it, if it happened. I have to think even Jackie Paper looks back, from time to time, on his lost friend. Right now all I have is my dragon friend, this blog, my girls, and some odd jobs when I can stand long enough to get to them. More is less, innit? Yeah, and I would happily take it.
Later.
Yeah, another slow day, but...
.
.
I received both an email and a phone call. So, I will be making the meeting tonight. I've just been slogging through. I need to get a shower in, figure some things out, head to town for a few things before, then probably after the meeting, and go to the meeting. It's a lot, for today. I don't know what is causing the problem. Medicines are going in, sleep is happening, I've even added ac to keep sleep right. Just a few days of that, so maybe I am recovering from the heat. Either that or I am simply into, as I suggested, a minor down time. I know those will happen. If I had to guess I would say even those who are healthy go through these.
I'm feeling good. At least there is that. No pains, the oversleep aches go away quickly. I am strong, perhaps even have more stamina. That is improving. I can't complain, give everything and my past. This is as good as I have ever done since first becoming ill. I suppose I just... well... I'm trying to compare what was with what could be and that isn't possible. Age has taken a bite all by itself. Actually, on the face of things, I am probably doing good FOR my age alone. I can't guarantee it, but... with a few givens and the reality of things, yeah... probably not too badly. Still, that isn't enough. It's never enough. It could be worse. And, yeah, I've thought about it.
Well, on to a shower and such. The nice thing about a men's group is I don't fuss so much about my face fur. For my own part, I don't shave. I trim the whiskers back a bit. And that is good enough for other men. It's just in events with mixed company that I... prefer to shave when I have the forethought and time. I'm only MOSTLY dead. *sly grins* Yep, just beat back the whiskers a bit for tonight. And glad of it. Mixed is fine, singular is fine to, in their times. Although a little more singular with a female type wouldn't hurt my feelings at all. I'll eventually work on it.
Later.
.
I received both an email and a phone call. So, I will be making the meeting tonight. I've just been slogging through. I need to get a shower in, figure some things out, head to town for a few things before, then probably after the meeting, and go to the meeting. It's a lot, for today. I don't know what is causing the problem. Medicines are going in, sleep is happening, I've even added ac to keep sleep right. Just a few days of that, so maybe I am recovering from the heat. Either that or I am simply into, as I suggested, a minor down time. I know those will happen. If I had to guess I would say even those who are healthy go through these.
Later.
Ouch.
.
.
The appointment didn't happen today. I had several alarms set, went to bed at a reasonable time, even woke a few times before the time. I simply couldn't stay awake. I have no idea why, but I slept until 12:30. I'm actually a bit sore from oversleeping. I simply could not stay awake. I reset the alarm once. I don't remember it going off again. I don't remember the other alarm. I don't remember much. I simply could not become conscious and stay that way. I'll have to reset the appointment.
I suppose I will try to figure out some things today. I might be awake now, but I'm not thinking well at all. I did not see that coming. Whatever. Later.
.
The appointment didn't happen today. I had several alarms set, went to bed at a reasonable time, even woke a few times before the time. I simply couldn't stay awake. I have no idea why, but I slept until 12:30. I'm actually a bit sore from oversleeping. I simply could not stay awake. I reset the alarm once. I don't remember it going off again. I don't remember the other alarm. I don't remember much. I simply could not become conscious and stay that way. I'll have to reset the appointment.
I suppose I will try to figure out some things today. I might be awake now, but I'm not thinking well at all. I did not see that coming. Whatever. Later.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Too hot?
.
.
I am just dragging through the days. Of course, much of what I want to do is tied up. I am waiting on this information, or that tool, or an appointment that I am going to have to concentrate to make. I couldn't find a hinge. Sure, I could use leather, rubber, or such, but that breaks down quickly and... No, I'll just buy a tool for that tomorrow while I am out. Everything is sort of up in the air on many things and projects. Plus, it just seemed too hot to get to anything today. Medicine has been going down on time and well, so it isn't that. Must just be the heat and my inability to deal with it. Or a mild low.
Tomorrow an appointment. At least it isn't first thing in the morning. It is fasting, but as I have mentioned, that isn't a problem. I will be asking for a slight change in medication. It might or might not go through. I am hoping my doctor trusts me enough to try to mess with this. It is difficult to keep on track, with the medical community. It requires monthly visits, which is a pain even when the visit is close. An hour drive, and with my condition, and hitting it just on time... is a trick. I can focus a few times every three months, but regular appointments are difficult. Either I don't see them coming or see them but I can't do a thing about it. Still, it would be worth the risk, on my part.
There is a meeting tomorrow. The first one I have been invited to attend in some time. I haven't been receiving emails or phone calls. I've been too busy to try to figure out the problem, and actually did mention it a time or two. It may simply be that I am not welcome. Which is fine. So be it. Whether I go tomorrow or not depends on if I have any gumption left after the trip. That may not be possible. My friend decided not to go with. He seemed worried that this would upset me. Not a bit. Since he is in a wheel chair, he is more difficult to take along. And trying to do double duty isn't fun either, an appointment then visiting a bunch of stores. Still, it would have saved me a lot of money. He'll just have to cover the cost, then we can go when he wants. Well, his part of it.
It is just 23:00 and I am ready for bed. I even took a nap in the early afternoon. I dreamed of eating a hamburger, something vague about sex but not sex itself, and that song Bound for Glory from the other day was playing in the background. It wasn't environmental music, it was more like a music track over the scenes, like a narrator... just in there but not related to the pictures. I don't remember details this time, just those general notions and the hamburger. Got one for dinner, too, with an egg on it. *grins*
Good night.
.
I am just dragging through the days. Of course, much of what I want to do is tied up. I am waiting on this information, or that tool, or an appointment that I am going to have to concentrate to make. I couldn't find a hinge. Sure, I could use leather, rubber, or such, but that breaks down quickly and... No, I'll just buy a tool for that tomorrow while I am out. Everything is sort of up in the air on many things and projects. Plus, it just seemed too hot to get to anything today. Medicine has been going down on time and well, so it isn't that. Must just be the heat and my inability to deal with it. Or a mild low.
Tomorrow an appointment. At least it isn't first thing in the morning. It is fasting, but as I have mentioned, that isn't a problem. I will be asking for a slight change in medication. It might or might not go through. I am hoping my doctor trusts me enough to try to mess with this. It is difficult to keep on track, with the medical community. It requires monthly visits, which is a pain even when the visit is close. An hour drive, and with my condition, and hitting it just on time... is a trick. I can focus a few times every three months, but regular appointments are difficult. Either I don't see them coming or see them but I can't do a thing about it. Still, it would be worth the risk, on my part.
There is a meeting tomorrow. The first one I have been invited to attend in some time. I haven't been receiving emails or phone calls. I've been too busy to try to figure out the problem, and actually did mention it a time or two. It may simply be that I am not welcome. Which is fine. So be it. Whether I go tomorrow or not depends on if I have any gumption left after the trip. That may not be possible. My friend decided not to go with. He seemed worried that this would upset me. Not a bit. Since he is in a wheel chair, he is more difficult to take along. And trying to do double duty isn't fun either, an appointment then visiting a bunch of stores. Still, it would have saved me a lot of money. He'll just have to cover the cost, then we can go when he wants. Well, his part of it.
It is just 23:00 and I am ready for bed. I even took a nap in the early afternoon. I dreamed of eating a hamburger, something vague about sex but not sex itself, and that song Bound for Glory from the other day was playing in the background. It wasn't environmental music, it was more like a music track over the scenes, like a narrator... just in there but not related to the pictures. I don't remember details this time, just those general notions and the hamburger. Got one for dinner, too, with an egg on it. *grins*
Good night.
New day.
.
.
I wondered about something. As things heated up for the summer I changed some habits. Rigging my home for the heat requires a few things. Being half stone, and much more really by mass, my home can be trimmed to deal with the heat. During the day everything gets closed up, locked down, and shaded. As soon as the outside temps are cooler than the inside temps, just the opposite. I have roughly figured out how to get the fans pointed in the right directions at the right times to help this all work. Because of the stonework, if done properly, the inside temps remain 15-20 degrees cooler than the day temps. Without air conditioning of any kind.
Additionally, in the last few days to week, I was turning my ac on, but just the fan, which brought in night air. Oddly, I think that doesn't work for me. I need it cooler to sleep well. So, the ac was set to keep cooling while I slept last night and that saw me up by 9:00, or so, even with a rather late night. Yes, I do think regardless of how I feel, regarding the heat, I simply need cooling through the night to sleep and wake well. I'm just not a heat tolerant type. I used to suggest that I was allergic to heat. I have learned some tolerance, but not as much as I had hoped.
Today? When I wake I will be hitting the plumbing. I am hoping the pipes have drained and dried enough that I can debraze them. Then probably, or maybe, working on the trickler system. I'll do what I can. I received a call, which went to message, saying the sewing machine is fixed and ready for pickup. I'll grab her on the way back from my appointment tomorrow. Oh, right, fasting. I have to have nothing but water or black coffee from midnight until the blood tests tomorrow, though I can take my medicines. Yum! Then again I rarely eat breakfast. One meal a day, when and if I can get it, need it or not. Not exactly a motto, just a fact.
A bit tired though. I'm not quite used to being up this early. It seems like only a few days ago when I was getting up at 8:00 or earlier regularly, but that has probably been a week or more, coinciding just about perfectly with when I started using the ac as a simple fan. Waking just a few hours earlier can throw me. I'll probably be taking a nap around noon, a short one. It's a good time for a nap, and cool down, anyway. Strong, in some ways, as I am, and more, becoming I am still as fragile as egg shells in some ways. My heart may eventually be fully healed, and I think it is getting there, but it isn't today. Unlike the saying with regards to Rome, the damage was probably done in nearly a day. It is just that the reverse isn't possible, or... not this late in the game. I guess I will never know what could have been if doctors had been more awake than me. At least I had an excuse.
Later.
.
I wondered about something. As things heated up for the summer I changed some habits. Rigging my home for the heat requires a few things. Being half stone, and much more really by mass, my home can be trimmed to deal with the heat. During the day everything gets closed up, locked down, and shaded. As soon as the outside temps are cooler than the inside temps, just the opposite. I have roughly figured out how to get the fans pointed in the right directions at the right times to help this all work. Because of the stonework, if done properly, the inside temps remain 15-20 degrees cooler than the day temps. Without air conditioning of any kind.
Additionally, in the last few days to week, I was turning my ac on, but just the fan, which brought in night air. Oddly, I think that doesn't work for me. I need it cooler to sleep well. So, the ac was set to keep cooling while I slept last night and that saw me up by 9:00, or so, even with a rather late night. Yes, I do think regardless of how I feel, regarding the heat, I simply need cooling through the night to sleep and wake well. I'm just not a heat tolerant type. I used to suggest that I was allergic to heat. I have learned some tolerance, but not as much as I had hoped.
Today? When I wake I will be hitting the plumbing. I am hoping the pipes have drained and dried enough that I can debraze them. Then probably, or maybe, working on the trickler system. I'll do what I can. I received a call, which went to message, saying the sewing machine is fixed and ready for pickup. I'll grab her on the way back from my appointment tomorrow. Oh, right, fasting. I have to have nothing but water or black coffee from midnight until the blood tests tomorrow, though I can take my medicines. Yum! Then again I rarely eat breakfast. One meal a day, when and if I can get it, need it or not. Not exactly a motto, just a fact.
A bit tired though. I'm not quite used to being up this early. It seems like only a few days ago when I was getting up at 8:00 or earlier regularly, but that has probably been a week or more, coinciding just about perfectly with when I started using the ac as a simple fan. Waking just a few hours earlier can throw me. I'll probably be taking a nap around noon, a short one. It's a good time for a nap, and cool down, anyway. Strong, in some ways, as I am, and more, becoming I am still as fragile as egg shells in some ways. My heart may eventually be fully healed, and I think it is getting there, but it isn't today. Unlike the saying with regards to Rome, the damage was probably done in nearly a day. It is just that the reverse isn't possible, or... not this late in the game. I guess I will never know what could have been if doctors had been more awake than me. At least I had an excuse.
Later.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
A bit of research right before bedtime.
.
.
Looking over my garden, I keep noting a few things that bother me. The first is that some of my pepper plants have slight yellowing on a few leaves. I suspect, somehow, they are being overwatered. The problem is they sit right between other pepper plants that show no such signs. Some plants are bigger, some of them are smaller, so that isn't it. A quick check and of the possibilities open, it looks like overwatering really is the culprit. Perhaps the soil varies, some being more clay, some being more sandy. Or it's just an odd part of the chance from the variances in the sprinkler. Drip irrigation will fix that.
The other thing is that a few of my tomatoes are curling their leaves. The best explanation I have seen for this is that it is overwatering, slightly, again, as well. It seems that when a tomato plant goes from inside/planter to outside, with the sun and water of spring, it can grow it's leaves in excess of it's root system. To try to compensate it lets the leaves go while focusing on roots. It's not a bad thing, a little less watering would help it do that more quickly, or so it was suggested. Yeah, I best get the system in place and working sooner than not. I bought variable emitters so if a few plants need a little less while the rest are fine, I can do that.
Hmm, and I need to get fertilizer going. I will read about that tonight before sleeping. If all looks good, tomorrow, between tinkering with the plumbing again, I may apply some of the fertilizers. From brazing torch to the sun, tomorrow will be a hot one. Either that or I may begin setting up the trickle irrigation system. Dunno... Something.
Good night.
.
Looking over my garden, I keep noting a few things that bother me. The first is that some of my pepper plants have slight yellowing on a few leaves. I suspect, somehow, they are being overwatered. The problem is they sit right between other pepper plants that show no such signs. Some plants are bigger, some of them are smaller, so that isn't it. A quick check and of the possibilities open, it looks like overwatering really is the culprit. Perhaps the soil varies, some being more clay, some being more sandy. Or it's just an odd part of the chance from the variances in the sprinkler. Drip irrigation will fix that.
The other thing is that a few of my tomatoes are curling their leaves. The best explanation I have seen for this is that it is overwatering, slightly, again, as well. It seems that when a tomato plant goes from inside/planter to outside, with the sun and water of spring, it can grow it's leaves in excess of it's root system. To try to compensate it lets the leaves go while focusing on roots. It's not a bad thing, a little less watering would help it do that more quickly, or so it was suggested. Yeah, I best get the system in place and working sooner than not. I bought variable emitters so if a few plants need a little less while the rest are fine, I can do that.
Hmm, and I need to get fertilizer going. I will read about that tonight before sleeping. If all looks good, tomorrow, between tinkering with the plumbing again, I may apply some of the fertilizers. From brazing torch to the sun, tomorrow will be a hot one. Either that or I may begin setting up the trickle irrigation system. Dunno... Something.
Good night.
Hmm, well, one thing works while revealing another problem.
.
.
The soldering worked up to the connection, the connection worked, but one piece of brazing failed beyond the connector flexible pipe. I tried to solder the joint again, but that failed. I tore the plumbing down as well as I could then tried to desolder the joint. No chance. Lots of steam though. I turned on the water outlets to no good effect. So I just have to wait for it all to dry out well enough for me to braze/desolder further.
When dinner arrived, I asked about taking over driving. With only four weeks left of it, not this year. But next year is possible. I would be required to become certified in pesticides though. Yeah, I suspect I can do that. I just hope the course or testing is available in the winter, when it would be easier to manage. And I have to test out every three years. Not a problem.
Hmm, might try to create a tool to pierce the hose. I just need to know the nail size and check to see if I have it. I know I have files in case the nail needs sharpened. A bench grinder would be preferable, but for now hand files should work. I should have gotten to the watering system but... yeah. Just not moving fast or thinking well tonight. It's just too warm, or something.
I've been taking medicines and stats well. Like clockwork really. My weight is slowing coming back down. My blood sugar has gone up. It is now 20-30 points higher than when I started, if I continue to increase the dose of medicine for it. I'm just a bit surprised at the slow pace of the desired effect.
As for spending? I am holding back on most things. I will go forward with the grill/smoker. And I will probably order the shade bits D.C. wanted. But until we have a minor conference to see what we really need... but even more, until his shakeout cruise comes back successful, I will hold off on other spending. Simply put, if we have to go light but functional, that is the way it must be. I'll know more, soon. Everything is perpetually on hold, isn't it? Right until the mad rush to try to get everything done in a hurry. It wasn't, as I see now, a military reality. It is simply reality. Hurry and wait, until you have to hurry. Then, again, wait, until hurrying is required. Bleh.
Later.
.
The soldering worked up to the connection, the connection worked, but one piece of brazing failed beyond the connector flexible pipe. I tried to solder the joint again, but that failed. I tore the plumbing down as well as I could then tried to desolder the joint. No chance. Lots of steam though. I turned on the water outlets to no good effect. So I just have to wait for it all to dry out well enough for me to braze/desolder further.
When dinner arrived, I asked about taking over driving. With only four weeks left of it, not this year. But next year is possible. I would be required to become certified in pesticides though. Yeah, I suspect I can do that. I just hope the course or testing is available in the winter, when it would be easier to manage. And I have to test out every three years. Not a problem.
Hmm, might try to create a tool to pierce the hose. I just need to know the nail size and check to see if I have it. I know I have files in case the nail needs sharpened. A bench grinder would be preferable, but for now hand files should work. I should have gotten to the watering system but... yeah. Just not moving fast or thinking well tonight. It's just too warm, or something.
I've been taking medicines and stats well. Like clockwork really. My weight is slowing coming back down. My blood sugar has gone up. It is now 20-30 points higher than when I started, if I continue to increase the dose of medicine for it. I'm just a bit surprised at the slow pace of the desired effect.
As for spending? I am holding back on most things. I will go forward with the grill/smoker. And I will probably order the shade bits D.C. wanted. But until we have a minor conference to see what we really need... but even more, until his shakeout cruise comes back successful, I will hold off on other spending. Simply put, if we have to go light but functional, that is the way it must be. I'll know more, soon. Everything is perpetually on hold, isn't it? Right until the mad rush to try to get everything done in a hurry. It wasn't, as I see now, a military reality. It is simply reality. Hurry and wait, until you have to hurry. Then, again, wait, until hurrying is required. Bleh.
Later.
Simply too hot?
.
.
Not exactly sure. Getting going just simply isn't happening. I will be testing the water shortly, looking for leaks, assuming the pipe even holds. It says it is only in the 90's again today. To me it feels a great deal warmer, more like the 100's. The dow point is only 26, so that isn't it. Hot and burdened... sluggish, tired, and just a bit grumpy. Mood music? Well, you did ask for it. It's a bit freaky deaky. Look at the lyrics, listen while doing so, then watch... give it a chance. If you still can't take it, cool. Just don't be a baby. :p Not typically my thing but it seems to fit the day, last few days... with the heat and melty feel of life and mind. Actually... it is good if you can take the time to... handle it. Darkly artistic, anyway.
.
Not exactly sure. Getting going just simply isn't happening. I will be testing the water shortly, looking for leaks, assuming the pipe even holds. It says it is only in the 90's again today. To me it feels a great deal warmer, more like the 100's. The dow point is only 26, so that isn't it. Hot and burdened... sluggish, tired, and just a bit grumpy. Mood music? Well, you did ask for it. It's a bit freaky deaky. Look at the lyrics, listen while doing so, then watch... give it a chance. If you still can't take it, cool. Just don't be a baby. :p Not typically my thing but it seems to fit the day, last few days... with the heat and melty feel of life and mind. Actually... it is good if you can take the time to... handle it. Darkly artistic, anyway.
Down late, awake even later.
.
.
Yeah, whatever. I really have been pushing, then I took a break. I think there is a trick in there. I had no choice about taking some time off. Even God took Sunday, and gave it to us, for a reason. He may not have needed it but we do. The trick? After catching my wind if I don't find a way in to getting back at things, my inactivity will kick my legs out from under me. Or, that is what I am beginning to believe. Now my part of handling this new trick? I have to figure out when I have had enough of a rest. There is no book written on the topic that is worth the ink or even the paper on which it was written. If I am a man I am like few others. I don't seem to have found an analog, someone that tracks like I do. I honestly should be dead, just from my heart problems and no treatment for two decades. So, how do you begin to figure things out by finding someone else who has done that, and isn't in a nursing home or hospital, or essentially receiving complete daily care from a wife, obviously discounting everyone who succumbed and are in the dirt? It just doesn't make sense, so I am having to write my own book. Thing is, only because of treatment am I even able to remember things long enough to start figure things out, like this trick. So, essentially, I am starting from scratch.
So, today? I guess I begin testing whether I can push through, how far, and how well. Or whether it isn't quite time. I did reconnect the pipes and the crossover hose, sealing with plumber's paste, in the hopes that will hold for a water test, to see if the brazing really did hold. If the flexible connector pipe doesn't hold again I might have another trick up my sleeve... caps or valves that screw on, that can act as stoppers, assuming I can get those to seal. Bleh. Everything is waiting on testing the water tight nature of my brazing work. Every test that fails requires a tear-down, then some drying time, actually enough time for the plumber's goop to dry now. I get lost in the drying time, though. That takes 8 to 12 hours, technically. And that kind of wait can throw me off the task track.
Depending on how that goes, if I have to take it down and let things dry I may attempt to set up the drip lines. If the water holds I will then install the toilet. Take a break. Then figure out the electrical. Then if I get that done and still have energy remaining, then begin working on drip lines. Dunno... I'll find out in an hour or so, after I wake a bit more fully. Not sure why I am sleeping so long. Maybe I simply still need it, but just as likely maybe I have the juice back but am not fully utilizing it which makes getting to sleep difficult which then aggravates the quality of sleep. Bleh. Working on it. Making it up as I go, I suspect, but not without some keen observational skills, a powerful interest in overcoming the deficiency, and as much will power as I can muster for occasional pushes through the dead stuff. Later.
Oh, so Rafael thinks my notions of the rain forest will work for the bayou? Well, then, I can probably do that. It or they won't be pretty. It was in those places that I lost some of the most essential pieces of me, and on this I hold grudges, hard. Still... I'll... cut around the hate and mean and write something edible. Urhm, on one of my breaks, before long. Hush, it's what I've got.
.
Yeah, whatever. I really have been pushing, then I took a break. I think there is a trick in there. I had no choice about taking some time off. Even God took Sunday, and gave it to us, for a reason. He may not have needed it but we do. The trick? After catching my wind if I don't find a way in to getting back at things, my inactivity will kick my legs out from under me. Or, that is what I am beginning to believe. Now my part of handling this new trick? I have to figure out when I have had enough of a rest. There is no book written on the topic that is worth the ink or even the paper on which it was written. If I am a man I am like few others. I don't seem to have found an analog, someone that tracks like I do. I honestly should be dead, just from my heart problems and no treatment for two decades. So, how do you begin to figure things out by finding someone else who has done that, and isn't in a nursing home or hospital, or essentially receiving complete daily care from a wife, obviously discounting everyone who succumbed and are in the dirt? It just doesn't make sense, so I am having to write my own book. Thing is, only because of treatment am I even able to remember things long enough to start figure things out, like this trick. So, essentially, I am starting from scratch.
So, today? I guess I begin testing whether I can push through, how far, and how well. Or whether it isn't quite time. I did reconnect the pipes and the crossover hose, sealing with plumber's paste, in the hopes that will hold for a water test, to see if the brazing really did hold. If the flexible connector pipe doesn't hold again I might have another trick up my sleeve... caps or valves that screw on, that can act as stoppers, assuming I can get those to seal. Bleh. Everything is waiting on testing the water tight nature of my brazing work. Every test that fails requires a tear-down, then some drying time, actually enough time for the plumber's goop to dry now. I get lost in the drying time, though. That takes 8 to 12 hours, technically. And that kind of wait can throw me off the task track.
Depending on how that goes, if I have to take it down and let things dry I may attempt to set up the drip lines. If the water holds I will then install the toilet. Take a break. Then figure out the electrical. Then if I get that done and still have energy remaining, then begin working on drip lines. Dunno... I'll find out in an hour or so, after I wake a bit more fully. Not sure why I am sleeping so long. Maybe I simply still need it, but just as likely maybe I have the juice back but am not fully utilizing it which makes getting to sleep difficult which then aggravates the quality of sleep. Bleh. Working on it. Making it up as I go, I suspect, but not without some keen observational skills, a powerful interest in overcoming the deficiency, and as much will power as I can muster for occasional pushes through the dead stuff. Later.
Oh, so Rafael thinks my notions of the rain forest will work for the bayou? Well, then, I can probably do that. It or they won't be pretty. It was in those places that I lost some of the most essential pieces of me, and on this I hold grudges, hard. Still... I'll... cut around the hate and mean and write something edible. Urhm, on one of my breaks, before long. Hush, it's what I've got.
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