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I had set an appointment with a therapist I had worked with in the past, just in case school became problematic. Yes, a little foresight can end up being a good thing. And, though I do not believe in psychology as a general practice, I do think there are issues best dealt with within such an arrangement. Most of life’s issues are best, imho, left to family and friends, one’s own insights, and the pressures of reality. Talking about dreams of war, in all their gory details, with all of the raw emotion seeping out like psychic puss, that is too much for most, most therapists even. This therapist deals with that, real or imagined, or as I have learned to say, “Whatever”. Today was the day.
I had not suspected my medicines were a problem at the time I placed the appointment. I only thought there might be other issues, and there are. As well, it has been some number of years since I spoke with her. At the appointment, I filled her in on what has happened up to this point. She became a little pushy, though, and asked if I was just visiting in order to update her or if I indeed had some issues. So, I cut to the chase. There are two issues, the difficulty with the doctor and a growing fear, a fear of everything and nothing really. First, though, the doctor.
I discussed my doubts about the medication, the issues I was experiencing, and such. She nearly came unglued, saying the VA does not use placeboes and would never try to trick me. She became rather heated, actually. I gave her time to speak. She also indicated that she knew, and respected, this doctor personally. She said she trusted him enough to ask advice for her own family. Nice, but it means nothing to me, though I bit my tongue regarding professional courtesy. When I saw she had pretty much finished, I asked her to allow me to explain why I was suspicious. I explained the doctor’s attack regarding my hair, suggesting my whole problem is merely that I am too fat, wondering how I tricked my last doctor into offering me the medicines I am on, being against me changing my type of relationship with doctors in general, and on and on. When I finished, I saw her flinch. She could tell I was telling the truth but could not understand why this doctor, who I had never met, would act this way. Which also, to me, indicated that she saw the behavior as inappropriate. I saw her begin to think. That is all I wanted with this issue.
The other issue is a growing fear. A worry that I will or will not succeed. A gnawing concern that I am losing my grip. And total uncertainty about the future. I feel like I am drowning. I cannot find anything solid to grab onto. My medicines have become useless. My energy, enthusiasm, and direction are gone. I am unsure what to do, who to turn to, and who to trust. I have further decided to quit all medications. I do not believe the methylphenidate is what it is, regardless of her and other’s assurances (and rants, but I understand her feelings on the issue, a bit). I am so tired and unsure, and I am not sure how to untie that knot. So, I asked her for advice. I think she did a good job with this. She offered me several ideas about how to begin dealing with this side affect (to my mind) of a medicinal failing (created or natural) and it’s repercussions in my life. I am giving that a whirl, and I think it will help. Actually, she offered two ideas which will prove helpful. That is what I was hoping for. And, though I do not think it will necessarily save my chances in school, it will allow me to find myself in that and to not feel so pressed, whatever happens.
However, here as everywhere I go within my medical care net, I keep running into the suggestion that school really could be let go and lost and it would not be a bad thing. I keep getting the feeling that neither the VA nor the school wants me. If it was not so pervasive, it would just be a notion. As is, it is either a conspiracy or a medical dogma. Either they do not want me in school, that is, for their purposes or for mine, as they see it. Who knows, and I guess, other than me, who cares? I am more at peace, but I am not much closer to being functional. As I may have said, I am ending all medication. So far, the only difference I have noted is that I am less sleepy, just as able to stay up a bit longer when just on the methylphenidate as off it. Well, it offered a small taste of real life, for a couple years. I will not be unhappy given that, if a bit disappointed.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Political Leaning?
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There are some serious problems with this “quiz”. But first, the “results”.
First problem, the quiz writer believes that being for wars which are against international law is conservative. In other words, it states that conservatives support illegal wars. I indicated that I am against wars which are internationally illegal. They gave me a liberal mark for that. Which is as fatally flawed as saying you are against capital punishment to the point of letting someone kill you, without doing anything about it. Wrong.
Next, I indicated that I was for the war in Iraq. This question seems to have no effect.
Finally, I indicated that all authority should be viewed with suspicion. They said this was liberal. Wrong, again, as usual. Questioning authority has always been a tenet of the Christian faith, conservative pragmatism, and practical living. It is not the nihilism of the left, the childish notion that doing whatever we want is our business regardless if it affects anyone else, it is simply a part of the wisdom that flows from God because we live in a fallen world we have chosen to fell.
Other than that, fine. Urhm, well, not quite. I am not a Republican or a conservative, simply put, I am a liberal, albeit a real one. The liars have dropped the use of liberal now that they think they have ruined the term. It's mine, now, as it has been all around the world, except here, for most of time.
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There are some serious problems with this “quiz”. But first, the “results”.
Your Political Profile: |
 Overall: 90% Conservative, 10% Liberal Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Ethics: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal |
First problem, the quiz writer believes that being for wars which are against international law is conservative. In other words, it states that conservatives support illegal wars. I indicated that I am against wars which are internationally illegal. They gave me a liberal mark for that. Which is as fatally flawed as saying you are against capital punishment to the point of letting someone kill you, without doing anything about it. Wrong.
Next, I indicated that I was for the war in Iraq. This question seems to have no effect.
Finally, I indicated that all authority should be viewed with suspicion. They said this was liberal. Wrong, again, as usual. Questioning authority has always been a tenet of the Christian faith, conservative pragmatism, and practical living. It is not the nihilism of the left, the childish notion that doing whatever we want is our business regardless if it affects anyone else, it is simply a part of the wisdom that flows from God because we live in a fallen world we have chosen to fell.
Other than that, fine. Urhm, well, not quite. I am not a Republican or a conservative, simply put, I am a liberal, albeit a real one. The liars have dropped the use of liberal now that they think they have ruined the term. It's mine, now, as it has been all around the world, except here, for most of time.
After careful assessment...
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I believe I know what was changed in my medication. Whether the dosage was decreased is still a possibility if not a certainty, I am certain that the medication was definitely altered. My suspicion is that it was reformulated into a slow release form. Whether this was done because it was cheaper, though doubtful, is possible. That I was not told about it is very troubling. Should I have been another, I might have tried to increase the actual intake to deal with the change and might easily have ended up overdosing. I have some suspicion that this may have been the goal. Such a thing would have allowed the doctor to take me off the medication without question, which is what he wanted. Whether this goes back to my original doctor is questionable, though doubtful, as my difficulties are much more recent. Or, since my doctor is research oriented, it is just a variable he was interested in documenting. Either way, my health and well being were not primary to the decision.
Another subject which might be related is that I made the doctors unhappy by refusing sleeping pills. They initially had me taking them, but not only ineffective in getting me 8 hours of sleep, they actually limited my sleep to about 4 hours per session. They seem to really want me to take what they offer, and are quite displeased when it does not work so that I no longer comply. I wonder if they receive kick-backs for the medicine they push, or certain ones. Whether personally or institutional kick-backs, who would know? Perhaps both? How would you find out? Though too, and again, it might just go to their research.
As I have said before, those of you who wish for socialized medicine really should reconsider. There is no way to know what is being done for sure. You will have no redress, including lawsuits. If you change doctors, you will be in the same system. And there are no other systems available. If you want this, vote for Obama. I will not guarantee McCain would stop the thing, but there is a greater chance he can be yanked from such a thing by the groups which elected him. Good luck with that, but do not say you have not been warned. The government, any government, is not on your side when it “comes in and takes over in order to help you”. You are probably better off in a burning building, your senses, fear of pain, and personal interest in your own life would serve you far better. Failing to survive, your suffering will be much shorter.
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I believe I know what was changed in my medication. Whether the dosage was decreased is still a possibility if not a certainty, I am certain that the medication was definitely altered. My suspicion is that it was reformulated into a slow release form. Whether this was done because it was cheaper, though doubtful, is possible. That I was not told about it is very troubling. Should I have been another, I might have tried to increase the actual intake to deal with the change and might easily have ended up overdosing. I have some suspicion that this may have been the goal. Such a thing would have allowed the doctor to take me off the medication without question, which is what he wanted. Whether this goes back to my original doctor is questionable, though doubtful, as my difficulties are much more recent. Or, since my doctor is research oriented, it is just a variable he was interested in documenting. Either way, my health and well being were not primary to the decision.
Another subject which might be related is that I made the doctors unhappy by refusing sleeping pills. They initially had me taking them, but not only ineffective in getting me 8 hours of sleep, they actually limited my sleep to about 4 hours per session. They seem to really want me to take what they offer, and are quite displeased when it does not work so that I no longer comply. I wonder if they receive kick-backs for the medicine they push, or certain ones. Whether personally or institutional kick-backs, who would know? Perhaps both? How would you find out? Though too, and again, it might just go to their research.
As I have said before, those of you who wish for socialized medicine really should reconsider. There is no way to know what is being done for sure. You will have no redress, including lawsuits. If you change doctors, you will be in the same system. And there are no other systems available. If you want this, vote for Obama. I will not guarantee McCain would stop the thing, but there is a greater chance he can be yanked from such a thing by the groups which elected him. Good luck with that, but do not say you have not been warned. The government, any government, is not on your side when it “comes in and takes over in order to help you”. You are probably better off in a burning building, your senses, fear of pain, and personal interest in your own life would serve you far better. Failing to survive, your suffering will be much shorter.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Addendum to doom.
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Though the future is bleak, in a thousand ways, regardless of which candidate makes it to the White House; because of the financial difficulties we are about to face, real, harsh, and humbling as they will be; and with enemies in and out of this nation doing their best to damage it the most; I have a reasonable amount of surety, and some faith beyond that, in that what will be will be just fine. We do live in a nation of achievers. We do live in a nation of people who, when pressed, will push back. We still have most of our rights intact and functional, if there are constant challenges to them, steps forward here, steps back there. There is room for a correction without a complete loss. As a fact, despite the pain of it, a correction is in order, in many ways and for many reasons. A more humble America would not be a bad thing, a more grateful America would be good, and a more family oriented and religious America would be splendid.
Financially, I think the corrections will be harsh. People who have become used to living alone and living large may have to change their notions. People who have split out on their own via the fiscal fictions of the unsustainable economic model we are in will lose some of their freedoms. Our independence as a nation has gone too far, splitting families, friends, social groups, and society as a whole. Some of this, maybe much of it, is based upon economic fairy tales. The debt ridden will need to learn to live within their means. Those who bought houses as investments based on artificially inflated prices will have to re-assess. I think the trick is to keep the government out of things. The take-over of Fannie and Freddie is not good. The potential for more take-overs and bankruptcies of major institutions is harrowing. I do not see how that will be solved, unless that hot potato becomes even too hot for the feds and they fold to some degree. No matter how much paper the feds press, they cannot help Mae and Mac, California, Wall Street, and home owners, while shelling out for every domestic program currently on the plate. It will hurt.
Even with that, a careful buyer can probably get into a previously unattainable home for a song. And though things are still sliding, and though the government is, once again, trying to stand in the way of the hurricane and trying to slow the inevitable, work is still worth this, wood and siding will be worth that, and land will always have some value. A smart buyer can aim low, buy well, and at worst and probably temporarily lose only a little while potentially holding even or better. I do believe that. As a fact, I am beginning my search with that faith and surety in mind. First, however, the paperwork! What a pile of… paper work.
I think, for this shake-out to work without losing what is right, our government needs to get out of the way of the things which need to happen and make sure they are ready to stand in the way of the things which should be ended immediately (massive civil disorder, corruption, and such). As well, once the difficulties have passed, the government will then need to secede any powers it assumed to ensure civility. It will need to be wise. In this, more than anything else, lies my worries. Will, when the darkness has passed, the government give up the power? Will they, like Washington, surrender any claims to a throne (or in this case, socialist bureaucracy police state)?
Whatever happens, I will just be me. I will remain a Catholic. I will attempt to be decent to my neighbors. I will try to hold hope, faith, and charity above my wants and false needs. And if there is a price for these things, then I will pay the price. I pay now, why would I change with an actual gun at my head? I know there is better. I know men fail. I know the world, to include you and me, is imperfect. And, I know I can take one more step, then another, then another, until I am able to take not one more. And, at some point, I will be home. Any suffering or sin I have borne or committed will be lifted. Pain, fear, doubt, dread, age, disease, and death will be lifted. Not that I am seeking the worst with all of this, but if it be God’s will, then let it be. If it is only status quo or slightly bad, there is where it is more difficult. I am learning to do that too.
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Though the future is bleak, in a thousand ways, regardless of which candidate makes it to the White House; because of the financial difficulties we are about to face, real, harsh, and humbling as they will be; and with enemies in and out of this nation doing their best to damage it the most; I have a reasonable amount of surety, and some faith beyond that, in that what will be will be just fine. We do live in a nation of achievers. We do live in a nation of people who, when pressed, will push back. We still have most of our rights intact and functional, if there are constant challenges to them, steps forward here, steps back there. There is room for a correction without a complete loss. As a fact, despite the pain of it, a correction is in order, in many ways and for many reasons. A more humble America would not be a bad thing, a more grateful America would be good, and a more family oriented and religious America would be splendid.
Financially, I think the corrections will be harsh. People who have become used to living alone and living large may have to change their notions. People who have split out on their own via the fiscal fictions of the unsustainable economic model we are in will lose some of their freedoms. Our independence as a nation has gone too far, splitting families, friends, social groups, and society as a whole. Some of this, maybe much of it, is based upon economic fairy tales. The debt ridden will need to learn to live within their means. Those who bought houses as investments based on artificially inflated prices will have to re-assess. I think the trick is to keep the government out of things. The take-over of Fannie and Freddie is not good. The potential for more take-overs and bankruptcies of major institutions is harrowing. I do not see how that will be solved, unless that hot potato becomes even too hot for the feds and they fold to some degree. No matter how much paper the feds press, they cannot help Mae and Mac, California, Wall Street, and home owners, while shelling out for every domestic program currently on the plate. It will hurt.
Even with that, a careful buyer can probably get into a previously unattainable home for a song. And though things are still sliding, and though the government is, once again, trying to stand in the way of the hurricane and trying to slow the inevitable, work is still worth this, wood and siding will be worth that, and land will always have some value. A smart buyer can aim low, buy well, and at worst and probably temporarily lose only a little while potentially holding even or better. I do believe that. As a fact, I am beginning my search with that faith and surety in mind. First, however, the paperwork! What a pile of… paper work.
I think, for this shake-out to work without losing what is right, our government needs to get out of the way of the things which need to happen and make sure they are ready to stand in the way of the things which should be ended immediately (massive civil disorder, corruption, and such). As well, once the difficulties have passed, the government will then need to secede any powers it assumed to ensure civility. It will need to be wise. In this, more than anything else, lies my worries. Will, when the darkness has passed, the government give up the power? Will they, like Washington, surrender any claims to a throne (or in this case, socialist bureaucracy police state)?
Whatever happens, I will just be me. I will remain a Catholic. I will attempt to be decent to my neighbors. I will try to hold hope, faith, and charity above my wants and false needs. And if there is a price for these things, then I will pay the price. I pay now, why would I change with an actual gun at my head? I know there is better. I know men fail. I know the world, to include you and me, is imperfect. And, I know I can take one more step, then another, then another, until I am able to take not one more. And, at some point, I will be home. Any suffering or sin I have borne or committed will be lifted. Pain, fear, doubt, dread, age, disease, and death will be lifted. Not that I am seeking the worst with all of this, but if it be God’s will, then let it be. If it is only status quo or slightly bad, there is where it is more difficult. I am learning to do that too.
No luck.
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We ended up being too busy to make it to the VA yesterday. This morning was open, so after a few other things were managed, we went to the hospital. The patient advocate was available right away. I first asked the question I needed to know, namely, whether a doctor was expected to tell the truth when dealing with medications and with his patients. What I received was a weak, ‘yes, probably, usually, maybe’ answer. Not exactly starting out well, still, I went on. I described my situation and my suspicion, I indicated what had transpired between my doctor and myself, my nurse and myself, and what has been happening with me in the last month or so. I told him that I had let my doctor know I was having difficulties on our first visit, but was told nothing would change, neither the changes I requested nor the changes the doctor wanted. The advocate then looked my prescriptions up, indicated that nothing had changed, and kept just saying that same thing, pretty much. I told him that the dosage I was taking was higher than what was indicated, and that my nurse was also under the impression I was on more (she is the one who fills my med-sets, and I am honest with her about changes (which are on her computer, I think, anyway)). He said not only do the records say I am on less than what I believed (15 instead of 20 mg), but that I have been since before my last doctor left. There was no talking to him, he read what was on his machine and that was that. I asked if the medications, further, could be ordered at a lower dose than what was showing on his screen. He re-read the screen and says something like, ‘it does not indicate that’.
I let him know that I was quitting my medications and thanked him for his time. He wanted to discuss this more but I saw no reason to do so. He asked if I wished that he contact someone in the doctor’s office, and I indicated that there would be no need. My mother nodded to him, thinking I could not see her. I glanced at her, then back at the man, and said “NO”. I am being screwed and I do not wish to drag this thing out. The patient advocate is pretty much just a talking bobble head. The person he wanted to call is decent, but has no power. It is done. I will take these weakened meds, without the high blood pressure pills to additionally weigh them down, and just do what I can until they run out. I am on my own, again. At least I know there is something that could help. Unfortunately or not, I am not willing to self medicate. (I am sure I could not do that, and in fact, I generally do not mess with prescribed meds except to take less at times for the most part). Urhm, barring when they change my dosage without telling me or my nurse, reformulate the pills they have me on to be much less potent than they should be, and pretty much act like I am just supposed to like it. Still, they write the scripts, I will be out before too long anyway, and I will not buy illegally.
The only way I would consider coming back is if they somehow figure out I am not coming in, figure it out, and call, then 1.) put me back on the dosage I have been on (regardless of what a computer says), 2.) write a prescription that I can fill at a pharmacy myself (and be sure about), and 3.) probably assign me a new doctor, not a psychopathogen, a real doctor, and one who will follow my original regimen and work honestly within it. Yeah, I am not holding my breath either. If this year turns into pure agony while trying to take my classes without medication, I will just go retire when it is over. I will make it through this term, have no doubt. I will finish my classes to the best of my ability. I know that untreated high blood pressure is bad, but I cannot take the medication by itself. A shortened if sweeter life, if that is what is called for, is what I get. This puts everything up in the air. I certainly will not be staying in this area if this is the way it is, but I will not know for certain for a while, and that on top of the potential end to any chances at a career. Frustrated, I think, is the polite term for it. Oh well, I guess I should have expected it.
My mother left today. My house is clean! I am amazed what she can do in such a short amount of time. I hope to just keep it this way, for the most part. I will not be cooking anymore, and I hope to try and stay on top of anything else quickly. With a little space, less clutter, and a fresh start, perhaps it is possible. No, I am not holding my breath on this either. But is hope not actually for times of doubt? I hope so. Think about it. :p
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We ended up being too busy to make it to the VA yesterday. This morning was open, so after a few other things were managed, we went to the hospital. The patient advocate was available right away. I first asked the question I needed to know, namely, whether a doctor was expected to tell the truth when dealing with medications and with his patients. What I received was a weak, ‘yes, probably, usually, maybe’ answer. Not exactly starting out well, still, I went on. I described my situation and my suspicion, I indicated what had transpired between my doctor and myself, my nurse and myself, and what has been happening with me in the last month or so. I told him that I had let my doctor know I was having difficulties on our first visit, but was told nothing would change, neither the changes I requested nor the changes the doctor wanted. The advocate then looked my prescriptions up, indicated that nothing had changed, and kept just saying that same thing, pretty much. I told him that the dosage I was taking was higher than what was indicated, and that my nurse was also under the impression I was on more (she is the one who fills my med-sets, and I am honest with her about changes (which are on her computer, I think, anyway)). He said not only do the records say I am on less than what I believed (15 instead of 20 mg), but that I have been since before my last doctor left. There was no talking to him, he read what was on his machine and that was that. I asked if the medications, further, could be ordered at a lower dose than what was showing on his screen. He re-read the screen and says something like, ‘it does not indicate that’.
I let him know that I was quitting my medications and thanked him for his time. He wanted to discuss this more but I saw no reason to do so. He asked if I wished that he contact someone in the doctor’s office, and I indicated that there would be no need. My mother nodded to him, thinking I could not see her. I glanced at her, then back at the man, and said “NO”. I am being screwed and I do not wish to drag this thing out. The patient advocate is pretty much just a talking bobble head. The person he wanted to call is decent, but has no power. It is done. I will take these weakened meds, without the high blood pressure pills to additionally weigh them down, and just do what I can until they run out. I am on my own, again. At least I know there is something that could help. Unfortunately or not, I am not willing to self medicate. (I am sure I could not do that, and in fact, I generally do not mess with prescribed meds except to take less at times for the most part). Urhm, barring when they change my dosage without telling me or my nurse, reformulate the pills they have me on to be much less potent than they should be, and pretty much act like I am just supposed to like it. Still, they write the scripts, I will be out before too long anyway, and I will not buy illegally.
The only way I would consider coming back is if they somehow figure out I am not coming in, figure it out, and call, then 1.) put me back on the dosage I have been on (regardless of what a computer says), 2.) write a prescription that I can fill at a pharmacy myself (and be sure about), and 3.) probably assign me a new doctor, not a psychopathogen, a real doctor, and one who will follow my original regimen and work honestly within it. Yeah, I am not holding my breath either. If this year turns into pure agony while trying to take my classes without medication, I will just go retire when it is over. I will make it through this term, have no doubt. I will finish my classes to the best of my ability. I know that untreated high blood pressure is bad, but I cannot take the medication by itself. A shortened if sweeter life, if that is what is called for, is what I get. This puts everything up in the air. I certainly will not be staying in this area if this is the way it is, but I will not know for certain for a while, and that on top of the potential end to any chances at a career. Frustrated, I think, is the polite term for it. Oh well, I guess I should have expected it.
My mother left today. My house is clean! I am amazed what she can do in such a short amount of time. I hope to just keep it this way, for the most part. I will not be cooking anymore, and I hope to try and stay on top of anything else quickly. With a little space, less clutter, and a fresh start, perhaps it is possible. No, I am not holding my breath on this either. But is hope not actually for times of doubt? I hope so. Think about it. :p
Monday, September 15, 2008
My morning reads.
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Every morning, sometimes several times during the day, I view blogs and news sources looking for interesting tidbits and thought germs from which to begin personal thought threads and comments. I go to blogs, some of which are as much as 90 degrees off my port or starboard bow. Occasionally I look back, to see what is headed my way and what is going in the opposite direction, and of course I look forward at obstacles, man-made and otherwise. To be sure, I pilot a ship of fools. I have no passengers or crew, however, so my discretional latitude is much greater. And, no, I never really know for sure. Like everyone else, I am making it up as I go along. The difference from many out here, however, is that I do have a moral compass, a bearing which is fundamental, and a King with Whom I have a healthy relationship and trust and Who’s orders I do my best to obey. My tools of travel, however, are far from perfect (within my hands and in the here and now). Storms come and blow me off course, sometimes I cannot tell where I am or where to go, and sometimes my compass is off due to mechanical failures.
This morning, I was reading an article by Vox. In ‘Counterpush’, Vox indicates that it takes the opposition party (to a position) to actually see the thing through. The discussion that Democrats have lead us into most modern wars*, despite their peacenik self definition. The notion that it took Nixon to visit China, despite our supposed anti-communism. And among other things, that it took a Republican to see the Feds buying Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac (see my note on this one). I must say, however, that much of this comes from having a congress and a president in opposition. It makes those things which seem to be in opposition receive the headlines (note also that Nixon got us out of Vietnam, a more typically Republican action, among a few others). I must assume that every Republican, even if they are genuinely conservative, has notions which conservatives will generally disagree with. And, beyond that, the fact is in a democratic republic, every leader has to pick their battles. Giving in, or even joining in or initiating, a non-conservative policy is not only likely, it will have to happen. Further, even if a conservative candidate makes it to the White House and with a conservative congress, the truth is these people also are there to serve all Americans, including “liberals”. And, as I suggested before, the press is going to remember the seemingly contrary to party affiliation actions and ignoring all of the things done in step with what is expected (except at election time).
I continue to be amazed by the success of Sarah Palan. McCain has succeeded in pushing the Republican Party into the quota era. It is so 70’s. I suppose I should be happy they have not added lava lights as their favored lighting units. As the Democrats chose a (ever “better”) other minority. It does show two other things, however. First, it shows women are at least as sexist as men, and unwisely so, due to the last decades of indoctrination in public education to private schools (a definite plug for home-schooling here). It also shows that women, overwhelmingly, have been waiting to be “conservative”. Sadly, it is too late and their enjoining is done in such a way so that it helps undo what they wish to be party to. To this point, however, given the indoctrination, they have been (seemingly) voting against the system rather than for Democrats. I think their lust for socialism has waned as they finally understand that no state can impose actual equality (thus my belief that their sexism is unwise).
This election is interesting, however. It is the beginning of the end of the West as we have known it. Whether this is merely the final straw, the beginning of a transition, or the end game, I cannot be sure. It marks a distinctive change. Atlas has shrugged, and what has held the world on it’s shoulders is letting go and preparing to fade away. There is no other, his sons are metrosexuals at best, his interest and strength have faded, his old rights as servant and master of his domain have been decayed to the point of irrelevance, and his time is nearly through. The dark ages (or some believe Armageddon) are upon us again. If politics does not indicate this to you, financial matters should. Do you really think, when the world’s markets collapse, that the governments in power will be able to maintain social order while remaining free? If you have faith in the world, you are lost. Only faith in what is beyond is of import. That last, for me, may well be about to be tested.
Of course, I sometimes wonder if I am a catastrophe monger. I sometimes think I see the potential for the negative more so than the positive. I sometimes wonder if I see shadows when there is nothing there at all. And, though all of those are potential, I also think I have a rather level head. I have survived some harsh things. I did not do that because I lose my head. Then again, I do look at the possibilities and threats. What I see as possible (and to some degree make plans to mitigate) do not always or even usually happen. But this is different. I do not see this as possible, I see this as probable. Beyond, it is so big, there is little I can do. Planning for three days or even a year or two will not be enough. Having three thousand rounds for 10 guns will not be enough. Having survival skills will not be enough. All of those things, plus having some kind of fall back community one can live within, and being “willing” to survive are what this will take. And, given all, I am not sure I will do well. As I have said though, I could be wrong. On the upside, feminism will end, socialism is over, however capitalism may well be based on bullets more so than anything else. The old school capitalism of survival of the fittest in the most literal sense may well be the way of the future. If you want your chance to become a king by your own hand, the future is for you.
Bah! That was fun. But no real worries. I love writing fiction. Of course, you do realize, fiction is just forward (and past) looking potential. *laughs*
* I would say all wars have been Democrat lead, as I consider President Bush (I and II) to be Democrats, the political landscape having slid that far over the cliff into the chasm of lefism and statism, arguing both are closer to Kennedy than even Ike but especially closer to Kennedy than Reagan.
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Every morning, sometimes several times during the day, I view blogs and news sources looking for interesting tidbits and thought germs from which to begin personal thought threads and comments. I go to blogs, some of which are as much as 90 degrees off my port or starboard bow. Occasionally I look back, to see what is headed my way and what is going in the opposite direction, and of course I look forward at obstacles, man-made and otherwise. To be sure, I pilot a ship of fools. I have no passengers or crew, however, so my discretional latitude is much greater. And, no, I never really know for sure. Like everyone else, I am making it up as I go along. The difference from many out here, however, is that I do have a moral compass, a bearing which is fundamental, and a King with Whom I have a healthy relationship and trust and Who’s orders I do my best to obey. My tools of travel, however, are far from perfect (within my hands and in the here and now). Storms come and blow me off course, sometimes I cannot tell where I am or where to go, and sometimes my compass is off due to mechanical failures.
This morning, I was reading an article by Vox. In ‘Counterpush’, Vox indicates that it takes the opposition party (to a position) to actually see the thing through. The discussion that Democrats have lead us into most modern wars*, despite their peacenik self definition. The notion that it took Nixon to visit China, despite our supposed anti-communism. And among other things, that it took a Republican to see the Feds buying Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac (see my note on this one). I must say, however, that much of this comes from having a congress and a president in opposition. It makes those things which seem to be in opposition receive the headlines (note also that Nixon got us out of Vietnam, a more typically Republican action, among a few others). I must assume that every Republican, even if they are genuinely conservative, has notions which conservatives will generally disagree with. And, beyond that, the fact is in a democratic republic, every leader has to pick their battles. Giving in, or even joining in or initiating, a non-conservative policy is not only likely, it will have to happen. Further, even if a conservative candidate makes it to the White House and with a conservative congress, the truth is these people also are there to serve all Americans, including “liberals”. And, as I suggested before, the press is going to remember the seemingly contrary to party affiliation actions and ignoring all of the things done in step with what is expected (except at election time).
I continue to be amazed by the success of Sarah Palan. McCain has succeeded in pushing the Republican Party into the quota era. It is so 70’s. I suppose I should be happy they have not added lava lights as their favored lighting units. As the Democrats chose a (ever “better”) other minority. It does show two other things, however. First, it shows women are at least as sexist as men, and unwisely so, due to the last decades of indoctrination in public education to private schools (a definite plug for home-schooling here). It also shows that women, overwhelmingly, have been waiting to be “conservative”. Sadly, it is too late and their enjoining is done in such a way so that it helps undo what they wish to be party to. To this point, however, given the indoctrination, they have been (seemingly) voting against the system rather than for Democrats. I think their lust for socialism has waned as they finally understand that no state can impose actual equality (thus my belief that their sexism is unwise).
This election is interesting, however. It is the beginning of the end of the West as we have known it. Whether this is merely the final straw, the beginning of a transition, or the end game, I cannot be sure. It marks a distinctive change. Atlas has shrugged, and what has held the world on it’s shoulders is letting go and preparing to fade away. There is no other, his sons are metrosexuals at best, his interest and strength have faded, his old rights as servant and master of his domain have been decayed to the point of irrelevance, and his time is nearly through. The dark ages (or some believe Armageddon) are upon us again. If politics does not indicate this to you, financial matters should. Do you really think, when the world’s markets collapse, that the governments in power will be able to maintain social order while remaining free? If you have faith in the world, you are lost. Only faith in what is beyond is of import. That last, for me, may well be about to be tested.
Of course, I sometimes wonder if I am a catastrophe monger. I sometimes think I see the potential for the negative more so than the positive. I sometimes wonder if I see shadows when there is nothing there at all. And, though all of those are potential, I also think I have a rather level head. I have survived some harsh things. I did not do that because I lose my head. Then again, I do look at the possibilities and threats. What I see as possible (and to some degree make plans to mitigate) do not always or even usually happen. But this is different. I do not see this as possible, I see this as probable. Beyond, it is so big, there is little I can do. Planning for three days or even a year or two will not be enough. Having three thousand rounds for 10 guns will not be enough. Having survival skills will not be enough. All of those things, plus having some kind of fall back community one can live within, and being “willing” to survive are what this will take. And, given all, I am not sure I will do well. As I have said though, I could be wrong. On the upside, feminism will end, socialism is over, however capitalism may well be based on bullets more so than anything else. The old school capitalism of survival of the fittest in the most literal sense may well be the way of the future. If you want your chance to become a king by your own hand, the future is for you.
Bah! That was fun. But no real worries. I love writing fiction. Of course, you do realize, fiction is just forward (and past) looking potential. *laughs*
* I would say all wars have been Democrat lead, as I consider President Bush (I and II) to be Democrats, the political landscape having slid that far over the cliff into the chasm of lefism and statism, arguing both are closer to Kennedy than even Ike but especially closer to Kennedy than Reagan.
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