Nothing else.

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.

I did finish the roast, and had some.  Just a sliver.  Not even because I was terribly hungry.  Now, actually, I am stuffed!  But, I wanted some of the beef, while it was fresh and warm.  The rest will be leftovers, and I have learned to tolerate that.  But, it will never be a true love.  The roast was just so-so.  But, it was fresh.

Falling.  I did get medicine, including insulin.  And, I got what I missed yesterday... of the pill sort.  Of course having gotten all of todays meds.  Nothing fancy, but... done.  Caught up.

Not a bad group of projects today.  Not all successful.  But some successes.  A reasonable day.  But now it's on to bed.  Sassy has been sleeping on my socks.  Something about my feet.  Not sure if it's all females, though a number of my women had... something strange to do with my feet.  And all my cats did.  If all my cats were female, so I can't be sure if that would be similar for a tom.  Though... oddly... I think not.

So tired.  I said I would be out, tomorrow.  And, so, I will try.  I need to sleep, if I am going to have any hope of doing so.  So, on to bed.  21:07, and sleep should be excellent.  Goodnight.

Tiring.

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No, I... couldn't do much else.  I am sort of doing a bit better.  So, dinner has been started.  I checked blood sugar.  At 128 it really is doing very good.  Very strange.  I'll take it.

Pork chops, thin cut.  I thought there were six, but there are only three in the pack.  Fine.  But, as well, I am beginning a beef roast on the grill, both meats.  The roast will get a bit of bark creation, then will go into aluminum foil.  I'll stay awake just long enough to see that done, on a lower heat out there.

It has only gotten to 78 outside.  Up to 76 in this front room.  Both are rather cool.  Especially because the sun was out all day, full shine, not a cloud in the sky that I saw... unless I am blind.  Which... is possible.  But I don't think so.  I decided to open the front door.  Oddly?  That cools the place in spite of it really shouldn't being able to do so.  Whatevs.

The grill is just not getting up to speed today.  Not sure why.  Oh well, I guess it will be a slow cook.  Not a terrible thing.  Better than charred, at least in my book.  The meats have been flipped.  I'll have salad with the chops.  That really is a nice little mix.

No response from who I contacted.  Texted again.  Nada.  Not sure what is up.  Though, could be on the water, or having fun... or working.  I'm hoping for one of the first two, expecting the latter.  He can't say no to work, or well.  It pays, but... pay is just pay.  Though I'd much have an overworker than a slouch.  That, and my weight, are the things which bother me most about myself.  Bad heart my ass.  Bleh.  It is what it is.

I still need to get waterers filled, and chores.  A shower too, if I could.  But, really, if I can do those, I'll be in great shape... along with finishing the roast.  If I can't, I can't.  I'll have to do it tomorrow.  But I really want it done tonight.  

The bikers are done, by the sounds of things.  They were by until an hour or two ago?  Give or take.  Fewer, more in groups, then none.  I hope they had a safe ride.  No, I'm not the happiest about bikers.  But... in the last two or three years?  Bikers have begun being reasonable on the roads.  Don't block traffic, don't ride during rush hour... going 20 on a 65, don't be out in traffic, don't... etc.  Be fair.  And, they have been.  I will give them that.  And, for my part, I have tried to be much kinder... regardless of their actions or inactions, right or wrong.  Just not worth killing someone.  Not that that was ever an issue, plan, or thought.  Just... anger and impatience can lead to accidents. 

Well... on to... something.  Or nothing.  Later.

Hmm...

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.

I found some paperwork, for the jack.  And found the fill tube and screw.  Emptied it, pumped it to empty it better.  Filled it, pumped it to make sure it was full, put the screw back, and... nothing.  Easy enough, it just isn't working.  I'll have to see if someone who has worked with these before would give it a shot.

Just at 13:45, it is hitting 77 out there.  Staying really nicely cool in here.  It's only 72 in this front room.  Very strange, but I'll take it happily.

I am grilling hotdogs, and warming chili.  As well, I have cheddar for on top.  Oh, and I ought to slice fresh onions!  If you are going to have a dog, have a whole hog dog?  These are pork, or part... most.  So, double duty on that.  I have beef hotdogs, just for something different, from time to time.  Now that I don't mind chicken as much, if the price is right, might have to try those.  It really comes down to costs and ingredients.

I don't know how much more I can do.  I'd like to get waterers filled and going, do more work up on the work table upstairs, get to chores, and take a shower.  Not... sure that is possible.  But... it's... a plan.

-------------

Checked blood sugar before the dogs.  It is 134?  Crazy.  Just had some candy (I know, shut up) during the morning.  And, haven't taken insulin the last two days, in spite of eating out.  I did have 30 cc's of fast acting, with fatted coffee.  But that shouldn't have done much.  Weird.  But... okay.  It means I am not off track all that bad. 

Not too bad.

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.

I had to look in several places, for the remaining attachments pieces... the extras from the close line, which are not simply needed.  One of the old ones is simply missing, the other had a problem with threading... it was broken... wouldn't screw on.  First the back door storage area.

Not just searched, but straightened while I was at it.  Then, upstairs on my work table.  Again, neatened, whilst searching.  Then I started looking in general, upstairs.  And found the items.  Three of them, only need two, good to have an extra.  Obviously.

Nothing was cleaned up to sharp edges and spit polish, mind you.  But, a fairly nice start on any of them.  I need to finish the table upstairs, but that was on my list anyway.  So, a start, while doing something else, is awesome.  While doing something outside, I put the Xterra away, and got the rolling jack out for easier access.  As well, looked it over.  It shouldn't be too difficult.  It's a two and an half ton jack.  Speedy Jack?  Or something.  I may look for the brand, specifically, at some point.  See if there are instructions, or a vid.  Life is easier these days.  

Not that working on a jack is difficult.  But if you are starting from nil... sure, someone like me would work it out shortly.  And, worst case I would spill some of the hydraulic fluid.  But I have 8 ounces and doubt if I will need a tenth of an ounce.  Full to stop it might take an ounce.  Meh.  Or, probably.  Still, not worried about a little spillage.  Still, if someone has already 'invented that wheel', I don't want to.

After finding the bits, I got the clothesline up and stretched, ready to go.  I wanted to do chores, but... I am a bit soft after the various things.  Still, I didn't want to just leave them.  I got them a carrot each.  Some of them really enjoy, and come to get them.  One of them runs as far as she can.  Two of them, actually.  And three of them just sat there.  Wouldn't flee, wouldn't come to the carrot.  So I just set them in certain cages.  It's personality, actually.  Not totally based on sex, if does are more prone to being... weird.

A bit of a break.  Then I would like to get to the jack.  Who knows how fast that will go.  I will go look to see about the brand, model.  To look up while resting.  The parts are right here next to me, altogether.  So that will be easy.  Oh, remember, I bought new o-rings, for just in case.  This jack is probably... twenty years old?  Fifteen at least.  Actually it is amazing it lasted about thirteen, or fourteen, years, before needing any attention.  And, probably, a bit of attention is all it needs.  The thing may well last longer than a healthy man's time.  It isn't even rusty on the outside?  I may look it over.  If there is rust, bust out the angle grinder, strip it down, and get new primer and paint going.  Hmm... while at it, I could hit shoves, picks, and such too.  I'll look up which paint is best.  Oh, and sharpen tools, while at it.  If I can find my bastard file.  The bigger one.  You don't need em' razor sharp.  Just not dulled, flattened, or such.  A good sharp shovel will surely save your back and ass.

After that, waterers.  And, chores, then a shower.  A break, and back upstairs to the work table.  Oh, I'll put dishes in, after the shower.  Hmm... I might set up some clothes?  After the shower?  Yes.  I had hoped to make it to confession, but I... don't think so.  Not even sure about the rest of these things.  But... I never... quit.  I... keep... trying... hoping... pushing.  We will see.  If I make it to confession, I might make it to mass.  It'll... happen... soon or later.  God is more patient than I am, and I have learned to be as patient as needs be.

It was 68 at 11:30.  A cool day, given the date.

Not bad.  Later.

Dazed and confused.

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.

In some small part, definitely.  I thought I had missed medicine, but for days.  I went to start back up this morning and... it looks like I only missed last night?  Really?  No, the medset doesn't lie.  Medicines are either in, or not in.  And, other than missing last night, no other dose has been missed since last week.  So, cool!  I was so sure I had missed medicine.  I would have remembered taking extra, know I didn't.

Was so busy the last few days, I thought I had just stumbled past medicine.  Insulin?  I don't know.  Not sure I could tell.  I had fast food the last two days.  So.  Well...  So it goes.  I have started on insulin again.  I know I missed slow acting last night, so that has been taken, and some fast acting, with fatted coffee.

In a few hours, I will check.  Then, probably, have chops and maybe fresh vegetables and butter.  thin cut, this time.  I do love those, if they don't offer a lot of food, they... are oddly satisfying anyway.  Then again, two normal chops were filling enough the last two times I had them, and I was hungry for them.  I must be in keto.  It changes everything.  I'm not losing an ounce, but where those ounces are is changing.  Still a fatso, just... not as much of one.

I'll enjoy my fatted coffee, then get to more things.  I have done a few things already.  Cleaned the litter boxes, fed Sassy, cleaned out the pee jugs, refilled the water jugs and water heating tank, and a few other things.  Getting started, going.  Hoping to do a bit more.  Will see.

But, first, a sit and sip.  Then I'll brush my teeth, look for the devices with which to complete the clothes lines, get the bedding out and sunning... airing, and work on the jack.  Then, perhaps, a shower?  Or... waterers filled, chores, THEN a shower?  Well, that is the plan.  It is a wonderful morning.  

Oh, sounds like there is some sort of cycling event.  I kept hearing people chatter as they, seemingly, walked by.  Finally got up and looked.  Peddlers, men, women, children, if mostly men.  Later.

Way late?

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.

Hmm, went to bed at 22:00, maybe a quarter, or even half, after.  If memory serves betters, closer to the base number though... :08 or such when I actually crawled in?  I think so.  Up right around 07:00.  Nine hours of sleep?  Hmm, sure seemed like more.  It feels like I slept for days, in the best of ways.  Rested, well.  

I did keep waking... to pee... just because.  From 04:xx on, every half to full hour, I would wake.  Lost and confused, sometimes.  Back to sleep.  It was 72 up there most of the night.  Downstairs, it is reading 59 and 66, if I think the 66 is because I left a lamp on, under that thermometer.

Outdoors, with the sun having been up and hour or two already, it is just 44?  I am sure that wasn't as cool as it got.  Not a cloud to be seen near the sun, though... can't see in that direction all that well.  But, I don't think so.  It seems to be up, out, and in full glory today.  But not much warmth from it, yet.  Amazingly cool though.

Today?  I think I showered every day for the last two.  I might do that again, sooner or later.  I... love showers.  Whenever the shower happens, I'll be looking for those stretchers, to get the clothes line put together properly.  Then I'd like to work on the hydraulics of the lifter jack.  As well, the place needs cleaned up!  I put a few gallons of gas in the tank, yesterday.  But will avoid driving as much as possible.  That is just way too much money.  I don't know who can afford travel, but it certainly isn't me.

There are a couple of areas I specifically want to get sorted.  My work table upstairs, the table down here in the front room, and get started in the living room.  Not all today, but this coming week, starting today.  Yes, I will get to it.  However I must, I must.  I have been so down, not sure why.  It may just be that new medicine is just too much?  I have been going with it, for quite a while.  Or, maybe, I just need to give it a bit more time?  Ugh.

We'll see.  If I can push through, and get going, then... fine.  If not, then I may have to reconsider that medicine.  Oh, I got another huge pack from the census bureau.  No!  I will, every ten years, fill out a very simple form.  Other than that, they can go fuck themselves.  What I use for shampoo, how much I owe, own, what I like, is none of their fucking business.  NO!  Assholes.  We need to make the government smaller, starting with these punk corporate data grabbers.  No need for them, for any of this, save name, number, age, and very simple data.  That's it.

Hmm... oh, I have to get waterers filled and going.  Then do chores.  I'll get them half a carrot each, too, later... well after chores... an afternoon treat.  June 25, 44 degrees in the morning?  Wow.  A different world, changing fast.  Later.

Strange.

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.

I thought it read 70, when I returned home.  But this front room was so hot, or was that me?  I took off my shoes, changing to flipflops.  Then sat out here to just... try to cool down.  Wasn't happening.  Finally, I opened up the front door, to see if that would help it, me, to cool.  It had been 80 up here.

Now, at 77, it is cooler, but... not that much.  The rest of the house, save upstairs, is much cooler.  Not sure about upstairs, will find out shortly.  So very hot, feeling, up here.  I've got to cool off.  So, perhaps, on to bed.  Besides, I want to do some things tomorrow.  Lots of things.  I... have... done something that might be very motivational, or not.  Will see, in time, I guess.

I did some things today.  And am working on other things.  And... more.  We'll see how things work out.  Can't think, through the heat, or write well.  Still, thought I'd put something up, just to... put it up.  Remember, my blog is one of the few things I have found I can do.  So... I do it.  It isn't to inform, goad, cheer, or anything else, the rest of the world.  It is just creating little "I was here" posts, on my way to the long goodnight.  And, to say I am still here, for as long as I will be here.

Goodnight.

Ah... right.

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A day I would not have believed would come around.  The fall of RvW.  Wow.  I honestly thought all the fight for that was just fiction.  Money-making schemes, on both sides at this point.  While I'm still not pleased with them, it's a start.  However, I have changed my mind on something.  If Trump runs again?  I will, now, vote for him.

The hope is, this time, the fence is built, defended, and institutionalized into the laws... deeply... too deeply to be removed.  A nation without borders is no nation at all.  Choices.  But... I will give him a second chance.  Or, for my part, a first chance.  The overturning of RvW is that important.  If we want fewer minorities, or you really, you'll have to do it the old fashioned ways.  Check.

I keep thinking about sewing.  Yea.  Looking, and more?  Maybe.

A good deed, expanded.

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I decided to take the rabbits a bit of celery.  Not too much.  There is a lot of cord in those, and rabbits don't have a reverse, with regard to gurgitation.  So, small amounts, say 1/2" by 3" pieces, one per.  Nothing fancy, but something different.  And, tomorrow, I will take them a carrot, or half a carrot, each.  Now, from now on, it will just be a few times a week.

While I was out, I remembered that the clothes line was still in a tangle, and hadn't been put up.  So, I went to that.  Ugh.  I got it all, two lines, untangled.  Much more complicated than it sounds, as there were pulleys and old clips still on them.  The clips were plastic, and hand degraded to the point that they simply shattered when I attempted to unclip them.  So... I had to take the met springs off the line as well.

Done.  And, I have them sort of lined up.  But, I can't find the expanders for one, and the other seems to have a threading problem, as a part which came unscrewed simply will not go back together.  I should have more of those around.  If so, I'll get that up as soon as I find them.  But, I have them, pretty much, set up.  Just waiting on the missing pieces to reset. All hooked up, just the loose ends wound to spare hooks, so they should be easy to fully assemble.  Might as well.

And, I am motivated.  After getting these together, I would like to get my bedding out, let it air and sun during the day.  Perhaps leave it out for a bit, setting up another set of mats.  Then every month, through the summer at least, putting them out for air and sun refreshening.

The rabbits, most of them, seemed quite happy with the celery.  Some just wouldn't approach it, while I was there.  If I suspect they will in time.  Does.  Cautious little creatures.  And a bit snooty.  Female is as female does.  *grins*  Ten to one, they will eat them, but only well after I left.  And, enjoy.

I need a bit of a break.  The next size of underwear arrived.  I am trying them currently.  I took off the pair I was wearing yesterday, washed them.  And, since the others seemed to fit, so far, I washed the second pair (bought two mediums).  Both are drying.  If these do well, I'll put them in the line.  If they are a bit tight, I'll save them for later.  Will just have to see how these work out over the day.  So far, so good.

I'd like to get breakfast going.  After a break.  Eggs and chops really does sound good.  Then, maybe, work on the rolling jack.  It shouldn't be brain surgery, if I don't think brain surgery is all that.  More just the willingness to kill someone while hoping to help them.  Knowing, more, how to cover for mistakes, stopping bleeds, and such, than actually knowing what they are exactly doing.  I'm telling you, it isn't... what you think.  Any of it.  If it is getting much  worse.  Going downhill in a hurry.

Still, I'd like to get that gadget working.  If nothing else, just to have done something real.  And, if I can find the expanders, I'd love to get the clothesline set up.  That would be two real, mechanical, physical, things.  Food is a reward all it's own.  Well, on with my break, life, and then perhaps something else.  Later.

Ah, love coffee in the morning.

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Not fully cloudy, overcast.  But, clouds in the east are keeping the sun from hitting immediately.  Not a bad thing.  More a delay, as it will get hot today.  Still, while it remains cool, I have the front door open, and windows letting in the cool.  I should get a fan going, downstairs.  I have them going upstairs.  Though, maybe it might be too cool with fans?  Maybe.

Celery, carrots, and peanut butter, first thing.  Then coffee.  While at it, I separated the celery and carrots into little baggies per, and put the cauliflower and broccoli into the bags all came from.  I buy medleys of veggies, with those four types.  But, as mentioned or not, the celery seems to make the others things go bad quicker.  So, if I separate them, they all last longer.  The broccoli and cauliflower last well and long enough together.

Shoulders are still a bit out of places.  Hips are mostly better.  Still a hitch in them, but nowhere as bad as they were.  Nor even as bad as the shoulders are, if those are much better.  Very strange.  I am certain I haven't been stressing the joints.  Actually, if I did stress them, it was yesterday.  But they have improved since being stressed.

Ah, there was something I wanted to mention.  I have been trying powdered whole cream.  And, to be honest, it is amazing.  It doesn't taste like fresh cream, which I drink two to three quarts of a week... organic, raw to boot.  So... yes, I would know what good cream tastes like.  And, while powder is not fresh, at all, it also isn't bad.  It is an excellent way to add fats, on the run.  And the price, per unit, compared to fresh, is much less... storebought though especially organic raw.

No, I won't give up real cream, I will merely supplement, in hopes of gearing up for hikes, and emergency outings, or even travel.  This stuff amazes me.  And, having dipped my toe into this strange food, I decided to try another... powdered butter?  Aye.  Can't be a replacement, really, for frying... or greasing a cake pan.  But, can be used on popcorn, or in keto coffee, perhaps with the cream or not.  That is part of the order.

I am amazed at what is available, and what really can work.  Some of this stuff can probably be put up for longer storage.  Though, only time will really tell on some things.  Though, even if they don't store all that long, they offer a lot of flexibility in the short run, as people begin getting used to the fact that fats, once again, are a rarity.  That even carbs can't easily be had.  Protein will be the most common food, after any major event, and the least wanted.  Still, for a bit, having easy fats around, will be nice as the world changes back to what it has been for most of man's existence.

I suppose, having some sugar around, wouldn't be bad either.  That will run out pretty soon.  Honey, sugar, maple syrup, molasses, a few other products to have in some minor supply.  A major break will see that stuff go away.  I don't think it will happen.  Oil would have to stop being available, full stop, and coal.  I don't see that.  I could see the government trying to force those things to become unavailable.  But, the problem with that, is corporate won't allow it.  Nor will the people.  I'm surprised they have put up with what has been done already.  But it did hit pretty hard, and pretty fast.  And was hidden behind the covid bullshittery.  But... it... won't last.  The government can't print enough money, with enough value, to pay off everyone disaffected by their pogroms.  This won't last... if the damage will take time to repair.  

I'll let you know about the powdered butter when that arrives.  But the powdered cream is... really... surprisingly good.  I read that it tastes like bad creamer.  I have to completely disagree.  I think someone is used to sugary creamers, so can't handle real cream, or this powder.  I would bet they would dislike real whole whipping cream, without sugar, too.

Eggs and chops?  Not quite yet.

A good morning.

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And, what do you know... actually morning.  It reads 6:29.  That is after feeding Sassy, refilling water containers, setting the r.o. machine to fill another carafe, and a few other things.  It is 69 to 71 around the house, 54 outside.  Just about perfect, for the moment.  If I catch it, and close things up, before it gets too warm, I can keep the place cooler.  The trick is to catch it at the right time.

Though, sometimes, leaving the back windows and doors open actually helps.  For some part of the summer.  It allows a bit of breathing.  The trick is to get it to just exhale, which is... definitely a trick.  And, at some point, one that can't work.  Or, even if it does work, it doesn't work well.  It just gets too hot.  So that the only thing to be done, with any small hope of success, is to get as much cool in as possible, then close it all down to hold onto whatever is possible.

June 24?  Wow.  We should be dead in the middle of the blazing time.  June and July are usually our two hottest months.  An 88 degree day is, usually, a bit cooler than usual, not the hottest day of the summer so far, or near it.  And, one of the rare hot days, so far.  I definitely won't be able to complain about the heat!  Even if every last day, through to September, is hot, we have been given an easy one, a pass.  Wow, I haven't even run the an ac yet.

I'm thinking the two remaining pork chops and eggs, this morning.  That may be it for food, or not.  I have a roast to do, and I am thinking doing that in the morning would be best, just not this morning.  Tomorrow morning, I think.  Yeah, I can easily have a few thin slices of roast in a morning.  And, perhaps, some of the fresh veggies I poached from the store.

Oh, and some of the veggies are great with peanut butter, or just raw.  I'll have some of those for a snack, at some point.  Plus, they are cool, being kept in the refrigerator.

And, the field has been cut, a few days ago.  And, that, yesterday, turned.  I watch, from a distance.  I... like the scent of cut and turned hay.  Don't want to interfere, didn't have anything to offer, so... just watched from the shadows.  It isn't just creatures of the dark which do that, rangers do as well.  Better than most.  Must admit, sometimes we watch with a twinge of... jealousy.  Now, there is no simple life, but there is a life more based on... doing, function.

There are no fancy lives, at least no hereabouts.  The poets wax on about foolishness.  And, maybe they hit a point or three.  But, really, farming, construction, animal husbandry, is a tough gig.  Not a lot of cute, frilly, dandy, about it... perhaps save rare things, such as being in a parade or doing fairs.  It's a punch in the gut, hard working, risking a lot, chance at scratching a hardscrabble life out of the dirt.  But, it's real.  The poorest millionaires you'd ever meet.  And everybody wants a nickel, or dime.

Well?  Coffee, first.  Then I'll think about what next.  Veggie snacks, or eggs and chops...  Not terribly hungry, but might work up to it.  Later.

Chops and salad.

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.

Nothing fancy.  I grilled four chops but only ate two.  Wonderful.  But... two was enough.  After I had the salad, with my homemade dressing.  Sometimes I do very well with it.  This was one of those times, by how I gauge things.  A perfect little dinner.  With leftovers.

It is still warm, but... cooling, slowly.  I can feel it trying to move through the house.  The house is resisting.  I can't believe I am awake this late, given all that was done.  Not everything hoped, or even planned.  But... a start.  Maybe, this week, I might be able to sort out life, a bit.

More foods coming in, and a few other things.  Plans are being made, things are being done, food and supplies are being bought and managed.  If nothing else, at least I am keeping up on putting foods and supplies away within a day or two at most, though usually on the same day they arrive.

So close, on that end.  Oh, I'll... never be ready.  You... can't be ready.  I promise, there will be billionaires, who planned every detail, had assistants curate and arrange, purchases and storage, who will end up without something(s) big, little, vital even.  It... will happen.  Imagine having poor vision, and as one of the movie greats had it, that one pair of glasses you were planning on using to read, finally, every book you had dreamed of, only to have that shattered.  With no second pair, and no way to repair, or read, otherwise.  Oh... it'll happen.

The thing funny about the apocalypse?  It... won't skip the rich.  They are, in some larger part, targets.  Targets which won't be, can't be, missed.  Now, total obliteration, or a mere flesh wound, may well depend on... how serious their crimes.  It won't even be the riders who go after them.  It will be the people they have murdered, or are about the kill, or arranged for to die.  The sheep will do their duty, finally... some of them.  Though, the wolves in sheep's clothing will be revealed, as well.  Evil for evil.  Amen.

Well, I suppose.  I could watch a show, as I try to cool off?  Or go right on to bed?  So warm, still.  Yet so tired, sleepy.  Yeah, I may just try to go on to bed.  Goodnight.

Still pretty hot.

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.

Cool water, and some cold tomato juice.  Not much, but something.  And, staying in the front room so, as things cool, the main won't be heated.  Or... that's the theory.

I ordered a few more things.  More food, and a flattop grill, with an actual grill plate under, if I want to use it.  Smaller, if still pretty pricey.  Then again, after ten years, my egg type grill was still double the cost of the new grill.  And, probably, would be three times the cost by now?

I will be keeping the egg-shaped one.  That is still excellent.  I use that with charcoal.  I am sure there are brands which are fancier, prettier, easier to control.  But this has been, and remains, a superior product, doing everything, grill based, I want.  The new one has the flattop, and grill.  Why have both?  Well, the brand and what it offers, at the size, price, and such?  No real choice.  Further, this one is much smaller, and can go with me easily.

Next month I will have one more medium/large order, then I just back off and pay off anything needing paid off, collecting a bit of cash, and waiting to see how things go... replacing what I use before I get into the second/next batch.  I am excited about the grill.  I have cast pans, which are great for some things.  But, really, bacon is difficult in a pan, as is hashbrowns, potatoes, even eggs can be a bit tricky.  Pancakes are horrible to try to do in pans.  No... I... finally pulled the trigger.  And, to be honest, when it arrives, since I have bigger tanks and an adapter, I'll be getting right to things.

I plan on buying quite a few extra eggs, and just practicing.  Don't want to ruin the good eggs, yet want to practice... a lot.  Same with bacon, and other things.  The way to get better is to hit it, again, and again, and again.  Faster, harder, longer, more.  I'll bet I could even give some of the food away.  Though, who knows anymore.

Ugh... but a day.  I'm telling you.  Burned out.  But I finally got out of the house.  A day or two late?  And I missed two or three other things I wanted to do.  And I had hoped to be out earlier, or later, but neither was going to work, or did work out.  I feel rough, I'm hot, too hot.  But... everything is in.  Everything is up.  And I may get some pork chops going, and have a nice salad on the side.  Oh... best make some salad dressing.  Love that stuff... a nice vinaigrette, balsamic?  Yes.  Actually, some of that on top of the chops, as well.  YES!  I could make a butter balsamic pan sauce?  No... I'm not quite up to it.  Perhaps someday.  Would work on a pork or beef roast just as well.  No fresh garlic, but I do have fresh onion.  Hmm, yes.  Oh, I do love food, cooking, sauciering.  It's like dancing, but with food.

I suppose I should get to cooling off, and seeing about the grill.  Ugh.  Later.

Hot!

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.

Oh, it could be worse.  And, maybe, it town, it was?  All I know is, here at home, it is 88, outside.  More like 75 to 73 indoors, for now.

I finally got out.  Rabbit feed, groceries, and a few baubles.  If baubles on the list, not random.  Can't do random.

So hot.  As soon as I got in, I got everything pulled and put away.  If can can cool off, I'll consider grilling before long.  If not, I'll drink things to cool off, then get on to rest before long.  I got cowboy charcoal and foods to grill, chops for sooner.  Well, and lettuce.  I won't mess with veggies, which I also got.  But a salad and a couple chops would be superior.

I did get chores done.  And will check the critters daily, from here on out.  It's... getting pretty warm.  I may take them bottles of frozen water, as well.  Just to... help them out.  Do it for a week, maybe two, as daily as possible.  Then back it off, once things settle into the 90s and sort of stay there.  Taking any cooler days off.

I did, while in, check on rabbits, again.  Breeding rabbits.  All they carry is pet rabbits.  I suppose they might be edible, but there would be so little meat on them, that they would be only, really, for stewing.  Not sure they have enough fat to really add any flavor, that way, or if their fat is even tasty when it is present?  The gal that does the animals wasn't in.  So... a message and number was passed on.

On to... something or other.  Some cool, refrigerated, water would be nice.  Later.

Hips too?

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I mean, it isn't just the shoulders which hurt.  But, sitting, I didn't realize it.  Getting a shower in, resetting the r.o. for it's next run... after I use the carafe, feeding Sassy, tending her litter boxes, all in short order, made me realize my hips are off, just as badly and in a similar fashion, as my shoulders.  Very very strange.  It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Well, at least I got the shower in.  Am half dressed.  Oh, and the large underwear fit nicely.  Just about right, perhaps slightly loose?  It doesn't make sense, but... okay.  I have more large coming.  And, in time, will order mediums.  Very strange, though... who knows what means anything, these days.

I won't be to the post by eight, but I will be there this morning.  Oh, and rather than various veggies, I had canned spinach.  I'm telling you, heated, with a touch of vinegar, or coconut oil butter and salt and pepper, this really is rather tasty.  Cold, out of the can, it tastes fishy.  But heated, on it's own or in a casserole, it really tastes good.  I'd rather have fresh, and will try for that.  But, when I can't get out, at least I found a brand I can handle.  It's... sort of pricey.  But well worth it.

Oh, and something else I am going to sort out, is sprouts, again.  For when I can't get to the store.  Sure, salad doesn't offer all that much, but it is easy, and it isn't bad.  It is a means of getting fats in.  While some absolutely push the greener greens, and I get that, the truth is, they don't have all that much either.  And, when they might, it assumes they aren't grown on dead dirt.  Which... I don't.  Can't.  At this point, it is all used up.  Or... that can be assumed, more than the other.  So, romaine versus iceberg?  Probably absolutely no difference, save one is more green.

Sprouts?  Right.  Those, however, will add a lot of vitamin C, and other things.  There is something magic about sprouting food.  It is... exploding with life.  To consume it is to... quicken... as the druids might say.  Even jews have a form of quickening, if that, in their belief, is at physical birth.  It is connected, in a way.  Anyway... I really want to get going on that.  Though I'm not sure how sustainable that is.  How long will those seeds continue to sprout?  Sure, you could grow adults from them, but to harvest the seed?  Quite a trick, I should think.  Perfect job for a pothead in Cali, living off ssi, in his parents basement, with zero prospects.  Or an illegal, not really willing to work hard.  Not... something high on any other list.  Though it could get there, if gasoline becomes unmanageable for most middling jobs.  I guess if they can't scare you to stay home, they'll take your proverbial keys through cost.

Oh, it's 54 out there, last I looked.  I have opened things up a bit.  With all closed, and it having gotten warmer yesterday, it was around 68 to 70, with everything closed up this morning.  All good.  But... a little cooler, after the shower, would be nice.

Yea.

Weird.

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I was moving slow.  Apparently really slow?  I got some things together, for a shower, as I was planning on making coffee.  Shower all prepped, I started making coffee.  While out there, I looked over at the clock.  I had just reset it the other day, because of the power outage.  It read 07:15.  Wow!  Time is really flying.

So, I made my coffee, and planned to drink it as quickly as possible, to get the shower, and get going!  I want to be the post before 08:00?  Well, it's... a plan.  So, got the coffee in, was sipping, wanted to check the time again... out here.  05:30?  Hmm...

So, I checked my phone, and the computer.  All were reading 05:30.  Don't know if I set the time out there incorrectly, or if there has been some glitch in the system since then?  Doesn't matter.  Not I can... slow down, enjoy my morning a bit more.  Oh... what a fright.  I couldn't figure out how that much time had gone that quickly, but hadn't thought to... get a second and more opinion.  What a relief.

A shower will be wonderful.  With these new underwear, I just wear them right into the shower.  Seems so funny, but it works.  Wash them, then just hang them, putting on a fresh pair after drying off...  clean from my last shower.  I have been wearing them from shower to shower, as a heavier shakedown.  But, with only two pairs, initially one for the first week, I didn't have a whole lot of choice.

I now have four pair.  So, I may start changing them daily, washing the pair I change, and leaving it out to dry.  If I do more, and sweat more, I may even change them twice a day.  I haven't tried the next new size down.  Will be trying those today.  I know, but for fluid and health issues, I can wear, in these, a large or extra large, depending on the day.  And, actually, for being 280 pounds... that's... not bad?  By their charts, I should be in two extra large.  But that is way too big.  Even the extra large are on the edge.  Extremely comfortable, albeit, like wearing air.  I am hoping the large work easily.  If so, and I suspect so, I may even order down to a medium... get a few of those.  

Sizing is crazy, these days.  And this is a brand aimed, I had thought, at the skinnies?  No hate, I'd be one if I could.  My system, even eating 500 to 1k calories, simply won't burn enough to help me lose any weight.  Eating more calories doesn't cause me to gain, or work better.  Crazy.  I'm sort of stuck.  Still, my sizing is very odd.  Peculiar.  Part of it may be the design, though.  Shirts are made for excessive pot bellies.  And, while I have a belly, it... isn't a paunch.  It is smaller than my chest by a foot, maybe a bit more in places.  And I am solid.  You'd hurt your hand punching me.  Maybe stabbing me.  :)  Don't think I jest.

I think I want another coffee, and something to eat.  Blood sugar was 160, but then I woke last night, with a sugar crash.  I ate a decade of tabs, as that is all I could find.  I could not even crawl out of bed.  It was a pretty harsh crash.  At least I woke, handled it, and went right on back to bed.  No residual suffering from it, other than slightly elevated blood sugar.  All good.  I had 20 cc's of fast acting right first thing, coffee, and some meat sticks.  But... I need more coffee, and something else to eat.  Just not sure what.  Maybe green beans, mushrooms, and butter?  Sounds good to me.  An odd thing, but... it's... something.

------------

My shoulders are killing me.

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It isn't the upper, as if it rolled in to bed and slept on the 'corner'.  It is as if I had my arms out, for too long.  It hurts to lift my arms, at the shoulder hinge.  It is uncomfortable at the start, becomes downright painful at about three quarters height.  While taking it up, I have to ease off, or it won't go all the way up.  It hurts right in there, the most.  But, after I back and slow the raising, then go forward when it seems possible, it doesn't hurt much from then on up.  Like someone punched the muscles, causing a bit of a jam.  Odd thing is, it is both arms.  Been this way for days now, getting worse each day.  

I have no idea what the problem is.  The pillows are regular, the mats are stacked as usual.  I am sleeping, otherwise, in my usual positions.  I generally am rolling normally.  There was that one night, but that was it.  I am sleeping well, yet waking to pee three times or so...  Oh, well, I started taking extra waterpills, lately, because I was beginning to bloat again, more frequently.  But have been doing that since before the arm thing, so probably not involved.

The cooling, I think, had something to do with it?  Or... the weather coming in?  Usually that doesn't effect me.  My mother knows when weather is coming in, or changing in some larger way.  Her bones hurt.  For me, it's just a sense, accurate as that is in either, any, case.  But it's not too awfully off.  I just wouldn't plan a billion dollar project around it, if you know what I mean.

Yes, my shoulders hurt like heck.  I am refusing, as possible, to just let them droop.  Pain or no pain.  I don't think that would help.  You have to resist pain, not slouch into it.  Just... trust me.  Pain is one of my oldest friends, after having been a nearly eternal enemy.  Friends aren't always what you want, but they often are what you need... for... in... a moment.  Not sure why my old friend is back, but it is to offer me a new strength or skill.

Up around 03:30.  I checked the temp... but couldn't remember... 37 or 47.  For you, I went to look again.  45.  Really?  That means it either dropped two degrees in the last half hour, or went up eight.  I'm going with dropped two.  Not that, in these times, rising eight degrees is unpossible, just... it doesn't feel like it, and it is the least likely.  Still, dropping two degrees?  Well, at night, in these strange times, or even in regular times, it does often, can, drop a few to many degrees in a hurry.  I've only seen it go up, at night, maybe a handful of times in the time I have lived here, if this year was one of them.  And it went up by a lot.  But that was a total fluke.  Never seen anything like that, here, before.

A package at the post.  Almost done with shopping.  Oh, I am far from prepped.  Just a little closer.  This stuff, all told, might last me, alone, a few weeks, maybe a few months if I ration to the bone.  Just bits of stuff.  Enough for whole and part meals, but nothing fancy.  Still, I'll continue to work on it until food is out of my financial range, unavailable, or shipping comes to a complete stop.  Or... I about double what I have.  Even then, I'll begin looking at other foods and items.  I am recommitted to getting things set up, stored, and in the queue for consumption.

What I purchased was cans of heating fuel.  So, from time to time, without starting a larger fire, I could heat something, even here in the house.  Warm food is a luxury in dark times.  A potentially dangerous one.  And, these have a shelf-life of twenty years.  I'm trying these.  If I like them, I will get a few more.  Good to take if you have to go out for a day or three, hiking short distances and such.

Well... coffee... shortly.  Water should be ready.  Then a shower, and to the post?  It's the plan.  Later.

Up to 48.

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.

Warming quickly though?  Well, not as much as I thought.  It was around 04:00 when I checked, or 05:00?  It was 37 out there.  Up eleven degree.  Mostly sunny, I think?  Mostly, at least.  Sure seems to be sunning right through the window.  If not full, then pretty close, or seems to be.  Still, only 48?  Meh.

With the fatted coffee, I took 30 cc's of fast acting insulin.  And I took slow acting.  I think I forgot it last night.  That, about when I got up, so somewhere around 03:30~04:00?  Maybe.  In that ballpark.  Here it is at 08:05, and blood sugar is down to 97, down from 201 fasting.  Nice.  Really, that is about as good as it gets.

Now, though, to get something to eat.  But... what?  Meat really sounds good, but I don't have anything thawed.  There is the corned beef, in a can.  Along with eggs.  But... I don't want to eat that daily.  More like once a week.  Or twice, if I split the can.  Sardines?  Not.  No.  I am really hungry though.  Maybe break into some more veggies?

I am hoping to get some things going today.  Including a grocery shopping trip.  Though... most likely... won't happen.  I have been trying to get out for... two weeks?  Since the first.  Meh.  Salad makings, more meats, fresh veggie mix, butter, rabbit feed, potatoes, and... maybe extra waterers?  Something like that.  Two different stores, mind you.  But... the problem is, I can't stand, to get a shower.  How am I going to get out and shopping?

I think I will sort out getting something to eat, then take another nap, rest, sleep.  Try to rest my way to better condition.  Because pushing through doesn't seem to be working.  Later.

Such thoughts.

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Strange what arrives, on certain nights.  As if bidden by one who knows.

Very pleasant.

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Sleep, sometimes, is about perfect.  I might not have much control over when I sleep, these days... or since I became ill to be honest.  But there have been times when sleep did me no good.  Oh, I still wake tired.  But not blindingly exhausted.  I used to wake, gasping for air, and that never improved.  I had learned, somewhere, how to survive death.  So, was able to live through those times.  Pushed to the absolute limits, I was able to live, just... live.

Even now, I plan for a future that probably can't be.  From purchasing camping gear to buying things to fix up the house to various other things.  I buy as if, somehow, tomorrow I will get up and get going.  I can't stop trying, hoping.  Even though, with medicine on target, going down rightly, and the temp being about as perfect as I could want it, I can barely stand at any given moment, or sleep or be awake as I would will it.

I was curious about what heats the upstairs the most.  So, I have been tracking it.  Last night was the last bit of data I sought.  When I dream, that is when I heat the place the most.  I can raise the temperature, up there, between three and four degrees.  My skin has a sheen of heat, when I wake from a dream.

Nothing fancy, last night.  I had moved to an asian nation.  And found a wife, an American woman, living over there.  We lived out in the wilds, a bit.  Without electricity, a bamboo two level little thing, near a river.  Some number of children.  We spoke the language, lived like and with the natives.

Not sure that is quite my gig.  But, in the dream, the people were happy enough.  And, anyone who can have children, and those children can be fed, clean, clothed, and educated... life is going to be good.  Difficult?  Try without those things.  Soon or late, being without children will destroy you.

Oh, and before that, dreams of being kidney punched, even shivved in those areas.  I survived.  Initially it was being done by ignorants, who where being guided by one who knew.  After handling the fools, I found my way to instigator.  His nature made it so that he could not be saved.  Some of his henchmen, too, could not be spared.

I made a blood mess of those who would not yield their evil.  I wasn't the only one they were attacking.  And, they were doing it without cause.  The kidney punches should have killed me, they definitely killed others.  The shivs should have for certain.  I just wasn't in the mood to die, so didn't.

I watched those who were spared, closely.  Any return to predatory behavior would be their end.  I did wake with my kidneys sore.  That is the first time they have been sore, on waking, in a long time.  Still very lightly sore.  Blood sugar is 201.  Maybe that is it?  Dunno.  Yes, I know why.  I just... had a few mints.  Thought I needed them.  Must have been wrong.  Bleh.  Later.

Well, on to sleep.

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I had hoped to do a few things.  I... stayed awake.  I kept pushing.  Ever been on the pot, had to go, couldn't?  Well, it was... like that.  I even had some hope that, maybe, I might figure a way through, even to the meeting.  It just wasn't going to happen.  So tired.  I... drowsed until... I realized nothing was going to happen.  

16:39.

I couldn't play games.  I... kept... falling asleep.  I don't think you are supposed to fall asleep during action games.  So, I decided to watch a show.  I'm... not sure I saw much of it.  Something about something.  Kept dreaming of war.  Severed parts, split skulls, and else.  It isn't the physical damage, it is when one realizes that which was damaged was a friend, or even enemy.  A real people.  Though, that only comes later?  Usually.  Sometimes it is immediate.  Sometimes you feel their pain, death, even enemies.  The greatest warrior isn't immune.  The faces of every one.  Just a dream, of course.  Daydream.

Still, a man has to do what he has to do.  Even if that means his skull is next to be split.  It's the risk of steel, the sword, live by, die by.  Does that... ever end?  If one once lived by it, is the price still dutybound?  I can't know.  Not for sure.  Though, who... doesn't live by the sword?  Just because your government sends someone else to risk life and limb?  Do you pay taxes?  Do you even try to stop those actions?  Do you separate yourself from that government?  Do you live well, from those sacrifices?  Just because you don't kill, doesn't mean you don't gain from said.  If you are filthy rich, you are most likely far more guilty.

I... have to go to bed.  Strangely, I am not dreaming of war, when I go on to bed.  I am plowing my shoulders into the pillow and mat, and crashing to sleep like a fallen tree.  I hurt when I wake, and move, just can't wake often enough.  Hopefully, today, I will sleep better.

I'll say some prayers, for the ill, for the well, for the wise, for fools, for those in power, and certainly for those without.  I'll pray for the true priesthood and other vocational, and certainly for the lay... for those in groups, who try.  And for those merely in the pews.  Certainly for those not in the pew.  I only ask that God grant me what is needed to do His will, rightly.  As a slave if need be, as a servant if that is all, but as a son if I may and rightly.  Better to do as kin, than as a slave, but better to be a slave to God, than be outside of His will.  Amen.

Still awake.

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Not much time remaining, however.  I had hoped to get to the meeting.  Then get to shopping.  Groceries, you know.  But... that's not going to happen.

I did get second breakfast made.  To be honest?  The corned beef hash, from the second brand, tastes... exactly like the other.  Only, perhaps, it has a lighter color?  All else is pretty much the same.  Which is fine.  The price was similar.  Eggs and hash is a really good breakfast, though I could probably cut how much I eat.

It's still cool out there.  Amazing.  Not sure if it is hazy, or overcast, or partly.  But it sure seems a bit dark.  If not... extremely dark?  I'd have to get up and check, and I can't quite do so.  I'll give breakfast time to sort out, check later.  I need to refill waterers, then do chores before going to bed.  Ugh.  I'll do it, if it kills me.

Well, back to looking over the internet.  Later.

Yes, strange.

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Fasting blood sugar was 197.  In spite of not having eating in twelve, fifteen, maybe more hours?  Pushing a day or two, really.  Coffee counts, but when all the calories are fats, and light in total as well... say... seven hundred calories, over the last two days?  So, right.

A bit of breakfast, seed type, a middling dose, 20 cc's or so, of fast acting (as I feared it would drop fast), and some time, blood sugar is down to 106.  I was afraid, even with care in dosing, it might drop farther.  This will do, pleasantly.  All yesterday it was staying around 140.  But, since I wasn't eating, I wasn't dosing.  Bleh.  As I have mentioned, the high number is somewhat false.  Care with insulin has to be taken.

Oh, I am thinking about fried eggs, and some of the new sort of corned beef hash.  The other is good, and all.  But it really is more like hashed beef, not corned beef.  And, to be honest, I don't mind having some of each.  With fried eggs, these hashes are quite good.  I am eating the whole can, at the moment... hungry.  And... enjoying a bit, a new style... or hoping to enjoy it.  But, in the future, I will probably just have half a can per meal.  I think both types consider two doses per can.  Then again, most "doses" are based on a 53 year old, 140 pound, 5'6", postmenopausal woman.  So... not... really important to anybody I know.  Well... maybe one, but she doesn't count.  :p  Oh, I bet that'll make her bitchy for an hour.  :)  Anywhile...

I may be crashing, again, soon.  I... have... done what I can to stay awake.  Last I checked, outside, it was up to 52, I think.  Not sure, now.  Ah, 57 to 58, currently, at 10:06.  Still rather cool in the house.  I did turn the furnace up, for a bit.  But have turned it off.  Just giving it a bit of a boost, then turning it off, and life is much smoother.  Still too tired to do much.  But... the warmth makes life much easier.  And, just running it until it reaches a moderate warmth.  I like little tricks.

Hmm, could tinker with a game?  It's been a very long time since I have played anything.  I pulled some games off, the broken ones.  Well, and should get breakfast... second breakfast... started.  Later.  Or... much later.

Awaker.

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The vinegar drink helped.  Actually, I think it helped more then the caffeine I am consuming now.  Something about that shiver that only vinegar can give the body.  A shiver right down to the toes, somehow.  Even when cut just a bit.  The salt and electrolytes also help, by adding contrast?  Something like that.

Insulin in, so a fatted coffee and another of the cans of new lemon sardines.  I wanted to give those a second try.  I am satisfied.  They aren't nearly as brightly lemony as the others, just enough lemon to cut the cloying nature of canned sardines.  And, yes, it will do well.  Now to get some of the old type of lemon canned fish up, and use those up.

Both fast and slow acting.  I was asleep when I should have taken the slow acting insulin.  And, didn't remember, immediately, when I woke.  Further, I wanted food in me, and really needed the vinegar sour to tend my sore sour throat.  Nothing really goes well with that, for food, on the side.  So... I had to wait.

Pretty tired.  I may end up back in bed before long.  I really don't want to go back to bed, just not sure there is much of a choice.  I did turn the furnace up.  Though not sure it seems to matter.  Bleh.  

Oh... I did order some keto pancake mixes.  I'm not sure about getting to them today.  But, maybe, before long.  I brought a pack up, the last time I was down there, to look it over.  Not cheap, but not excessively expensive either.  I bought two different brands.  If I end up liking them, I may actually try to craft a recipe on my own, a bit more economically.  I just am not sure I want pancakes, or like them, or could.  But I want to try?  Something like that.  Try them, for a different food, from time to time.

Well?  I don't know.  Can barely stand to make coffee.  Will try to push through, to some things, anyway.  Ugh.  Can't believe how absolutely trashed I am.  I am doing everything right, keeping up on medicine, on food, on sleep.  Pushing as diligently as possible.  It just... doesn't... seem to matter?

If you are of the praying sort, I would ask a prayer of you.  I don't need or want to do, for my own sake.  But, I would have you pray that I do in God's name, and what is right and wanted in His will for me.  What I do, when I do, if right and successful, I grant as His work, and offer it to Him.  Believe or not, but good works are His or no ones, as is not anybody's.  I choose that they are His.  I would explain, but either you understand, know, or you have decided you know better.  Later.  

Awake, finally, mostly.

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.

Probably?  Still so tired.  Exhausted right to the bone.  It's as if my very bones have had the strength, energy, vitality, burned out of them.  Nearly to the point of the shakes.  It isn't from blood sugar, which I wondered.  Unless my vinegar, salt, electrolyte drink raised blood sugar, as I was sitting here sipping it for a while... which it may have, blood sugar, otherwise fasting, is 197?

That's... got to be wrong though.  I haven't eaten since before 10:00 this morning.  And, while not terribly keto, it wasn't terribly off, either.  Yea, that's... a wrong read.

It was just at 03:00 when I was finally able to wake.  I woke several times through the evening, night, morning.  But rarely could I even check the time.  Getting out of bed was beyond me.  Peeing in the jug was even quite difficult.  It is at those times when I take extremely great care.  Making sure everything is where it is supposed to be, and that the jug is well secured, while focusing on the containment of the jug.  Do NOT want spillage.  Worth every bit of focus required.

Still, so weakly tired, exhausted even now.  Beyond my possible means to do much.  It isn't too cold.  It is 64 upstairs and in the front room, 68 in this room, save near the machine where it is 65?  Very strange.  Outside it is 38?  Yeah.  Well, there it is.  My joints are rough, strangely.  And my shoulders, again, as if I dug into the mat with one, slept to pain, then the other.  I don't think I rolled much last night.  Couldn't.

What a strange world.  Getting stranger by the day.

That vinegar, salt, electrolyte and water sip is really helping.  I woke with a throat so sore it hurt from the top of the throat on down to nearly the stomach.  This stuff burns a bit, but lubes that in a wonderful way.  And, I can tell while drinking it, that my body is terribly thirsty.  Which doesn't make sense.  I have been soaking in probably two to three gallons a day, lately.  Terribly thirsty, and trying my best to manage it.  I may bring out my two liter bottles, and just keep them full and near... to make sure I don't stall to drink.  I have three of them, could keep them all in rotation.  They won't be cold, but I don't like drinking even the majority of my water cold.  Well, that isn't true.  I love cold water, I just don't think too much of it is wise.  Just a treat from time to time.  The water I am drinking was cut between the fridge water and the room temp stuff, as much to use the last of the fridge water so as to set it up for a refill.

After I finish this, I'll get a fatted coffee going.  The water is heating, if it'll be a while.  This is a pretty potent drink.  You don't... just... walk up to a vinegar drink and chug it.  There is something evil about it.  :P  Try it.  Use the vinegar of your choice... say a cup.  Plus a tablespoon of sea salt and two doses of electrolyte replacement powder (I rarely drink this much at once), then add water to nearly fill a quart jar... to taste.  I pretty much filled it.  Something delicious about it, but it carries a wallop.  I consider it my whisky replacement.  A... kiss... with a fist.  Yum!  This one is what I would consider a redhead.  Of a mood, to boot.

Going to try to sort out life, and get some things done.  I have been working at experimenting with the trail underwear.  I only have two, currently, more on the way.  Though, really, they suggest just having two.  I just don't listen to they.  I pushed one pair, if more because I... just lost track and function.  I found the limits I would be willing to take one pair, then exceeded it.  At least I know it can come back from that just fine.  Some... underwear... are done, at some point.  Now I have two pair, and soon I will have four?

I have tried three sizes, two have been physically tried.  A new size is on the way.  The bigger ones are way too big, the size I thought would be best is a bit big still.  The next size will either be just right or a bit too small.  Ugh.  I went by their charts, and my experience.  And... it didn't matter.  They don't shrink when washed, and I wash them as a typical bear would.  Roughly.

On the good side?  They really do work well.  Even when pushed?  You... can wear them roughly two to three days.  One day after and even a nearly hibernating bear notices.  They wash out very well, and dry within half a day.  They are comfortable, light, and... style?  What is this thing, style?  There is no styling, in underwear.  Or... in my book.  But they will do.  I am hoping the next size is perfect.  If so, I will buy a few more, in an even smaller size.  Simply because, without any doubt, if I ever get to the trails, I will lose size, if not weight.  Absolutely no doubt.

If I go hiking?  I may just stick to Utah.  There are hikes which are days long, longer even.  Some circle around.  Others are a long stretch, with no easy way back to the vehicle, save a very long hike or a lift from a kind someone.  Or annoyed someone.  Ugh.  Not sure the upper elevations are open yet, for even driving, let alone hiking?  I don't know.  Will have to go find out.  When I can... wake, stand, not sleep so hard it hurts.

Anyway...  Later.

Four?

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.

Nearly five hours.  I... have done what I could.  Now, back on to bed.

Dreams of war... even as I sat, looking at the internet.  War used to be uglier, because it was in your face.  But, if you were in war it was just you and the enemy.  For the most part, non-combatants weren't a part of it.  Mostly.  Now?  It seems civilians are more the target than not.  And, yes, I think that is a choice.  Once the bastards realized how... convenient that was, it could never be turned around.  And, by both sides.  Don't kid yourselves...  Dresden, among many others.

Still, the wars I dream of were personal, up close, no mistakes.  Though, in the background, I realize the new ways.  Melting cities.  At once that meant something.  But given what cities have become, been allowed, forced, to become?  I... can't say I will miss them.  I won't even say they are filled with civilians, not these days.  What is in them is just various forms of monsters.  Still, I don't consider that war.  Political genocide, no more, at least of the human will form.

Some think it is God having His way.  But, to be honest, while some angels have done those things, I'm not certain that is God's will.  If so, wouldn't it have happened again?  Is there a city on earth, with over a million people in it, which isn't as bad as Sodom?  Worse?  I have doubts.  Though... and again, how many would he have needed to find, good men, to save those cities?  Just doing some calculations... but... maybe, maybe not.  Just not sure about it all.  Though, thankfully, that isn't my call, and wouldn't be my call if it were.  Unless it will be because it is, and that is His will.  Difficult to know.

But, yes, dreams of war.  Of my sort of war, warfare.  Brutal, bloody, but just and as fair as men trying to kill each other can be.  Honorable?  I... am not sure there is any such thing in that arena.  Nor the other virtues.  Though virtue can be found aside warfare, it isn't in it, it is beside it, before it, beneath it, above it, or generally around it.  Even from or through it.  But not of it?  I suspect so.  Not to disrespect those who have lived and died in there, just a truth no matter.

The things I see, in my dreams.  I'm so used to the things.  And, yet, not.  Lost limbs, disembowelment, disfigurement, and more.  Sometimes it shocks me.  Though sometimes the shock is in the complete lack of shock.  Until... it catches me.  The blood, and bone, and torn flesh, and faces... the faces of the torn men.  Some know they are dying, some wish they had but are stuck for now.

On to rest.  I'll probably do more war.  With, and against, brothers.  Odd though, how I prefer my enemies more than I prefer my own kind, but of whom war is unknown.  I prefer ally first, enemy next, then the rest.  Even if it is the rest who are fought for, in their name, or... that is how we see it, are taught to see it.  Still, it is difficult to love that which cannot, will not, defend itself, save through the blood of it's best.  War, beyond, has gotten way out of hand.  When it was swords and axes and arrows, even then scale could be too much.  But now, with bombs, bullets, missiles, and the nuke?  Crazy terrible.  You don't even have to see those you obliterate, often don't.

Anyway.  On back to bed.  Perhaps to escape these daydreams.  Or... to embrace and in doing so be rid of them.  Goodnight.

Sleep!

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Around 11:00(?), the electricity went down.  The whole town, it seems, went out.  Now, it happens.  Usually a quick outage, even a blink, then back to it.  Not this time.  Half an hour in, I called.  That is when I learned the size of the outage.  Oh, the whole town isn't... a lot, mind you.  In the Shire, there are a whopping 700 affected.  Still, small people can get a bit unhappy if something does, or doesn't, happen, that should, or shouldn't.  Though, too, most just find something else to do, and maybe call a people else or two, and chatter about the problem.

Me?  I... I couldn't stay awake.  I am just waking, at about 18:00.  Not sure exactly when I went in, though I think pretty much immediately after placing the call, or very shortly after.  So tired.  I'm not sure I am actually awake now.  Although, now, I understand why I am just surfing the internet mindlessly.  It's... all I can do.

It is 66 upstairs, downstairs in both zones, and it is 52 outside?  And, it looks like it rained more through the day?  It sure looks like it.  It feels wonderful, but... so tired.  Sleepy too.  Exhausted beyond my means to handle.  If I can't wake well, I'll have to go on back to sleep.  So incredibly tired.  Breaking out will be a trick.  I had coffee in the making, when electricity went out.  I suppose I could have done a trick or three, to get water heated, but couldn't stay awake anyway.  So, coffee, in a short bit.  With protein and enough fat to make it something like a meal replacement... a lite one, but... something.

Sore, too, for whatever reason.  I must have gone in like a log, and slept on my shoulder wrong.  I was sleeping so tightly, I couldn't roll.  Ugh.  Oh... one of the things which arrived was a newer sort of lemon sardines.  A brand I trust, as much as that is possible.  The old one has a somewhat sketch seal over the top.  At first I thought it was plastic.  After reviewing it, again, recently, I think it is foil.  Which... actually... isn't terrible.  Though it is easier to rip through, than a tin lid.  Only, really, an important distinction if one were traveling with it.  But... that is a possibility.  I'll try this lemon sardine type, perhaps now.  If I like it, I'll eat up the other lemon sardines and then just do reorders with this one.

I know, picky.  But I am doing everything I can to make sure my foods are good.  I am even putting potato flakes in the freezer, for several days, to make sure the bug eggs in them are killed.  Or... to do my best, try.  Yes, they... do that.  There is a certain amount of "other" allowed.  And, whether on purpose or not, it seems bug eggs are a common "accidental" addition.  I swear, they clear areas, then put very select dustpan parts in the food.  It all but ensures shelf-stable food isn't.  You'd like to think brand names wouldn't do that.  I am beginning to believe they do it more than any other.

Anyway... yes.  Picky.  And, I attempt to be more clever than what I face.  Or... as much as that is possible.  Picking better, handling better, managing... to the point that I am able however, too, mind you.  Being this close to death, so that an electrical outage causes me to crash, because I have to be able to surf the internet just to stay awake?  Then again, even so, I may not be able to stay awake.  Ugh.

Later.

--------

Not as lemony as the other brand, but it will do, and nicely.  That was more of a mackerel, I think, and thus without skin and bone.  So, this sardine has it all.  Well, save the tail.  And, while I like the idea of the tail, to be honest, those aren't the tastiest part.  I will eat them, and in a way gladly, but begrudgingly in truth.  Much milder, on the lemon flavor, but... a more mature flavor.  I am satisfied.  It's always good to find a slightly improved option.  Will miss the old stuff, but I have a placket or two, of a dozen, left.  I'll enjoy them to their ends.

As to staying awake?  I don't quite yet know.  Coffee is good, but... I... don't think it is having any effect on sleepiness.  I had hoped, if doubted.  When I am this tired not much can help.  Well, and it is so cool.  It's like the weather floor dropped out from under me, again.  As if the world yawned, and swallowed me.

Well, the day moves slowly.

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.

It also remains cool.  A bit more than a quarter after ten, and it is 44 out there.  Rain, spotty, short spats, but rain.  Wonderful, in a way.  I do love rain, and cool.  It is my favorite.  If even I know that we really need warmth, heat, and a lot of it.  Though, will it matter if there is no water?  Then again, as if it was a choice.  Well, for some of us.

Imagine weather warfare.  With nations, allies, axis', and neutrals, all vying for control.  Possibly, initially, for their nations.  But, then, in time, when it becomes understood that them getting water means someone else goes without, or some changes in where what hits.  

Though, with war?  Nothing is necessarily as it seems.  Lets say China wants water, and sets it up.  Rather than denying them water, send more, and more, and more.  Then deny it when they truly need it, right after planting season.  And send it during harvest.  Though, if even three or four major nations or groups of nations have those powers, even if they tried to work together, they may well simply mess the whole thing up.  Then, toss on major cuts to manufacturing, and changes in where it is happening, on a short notice?

Do I think so?  Maybe.  I think there is more to it.  If I doubt if they have actual control.  Then, throw in all the variables I suggested, plus the variability, and crankiness, of mother nature, and... no.  They may be trying.  But they will no more nail that than rich people or scientists will nail child rearing.  Science doesn't work in certain areas... then again assuming science is trying to help.  Most social sciences are there to bugger the population, destroy it, undo it, not improve or help it.  Just understand what you are up against.  

Though, even so, it's probably better than science is against... at least if people would wake up and take note.  For Lord help you if science, or government, shows up on your door with the true intention of helping you.  Read about Pol Pot, Moi, and dozens, hundreds, thousands, of others.  Thankfully, everything those interests seem to set out to do, they fail in.  Mostly thankfully.  All they seem to be is an income sink for a nation.  It's gotten to where all that is left is the rot on the apple, though.  Bleh.

The shower was so very splendid.  I'd like another, soon.  Don't really need them, certainly not daily.  But I sure like them.  Daily.  Just so tired I haven't been able to get to them daily.  Been doing good to get a few a week.  Even then, it's really not necessary.  My metabolism just doesn't run hot enough for it to matter.  And, what I eat is easy on the system, doesn't... gum it all up.  Clean.  And, yes, that... helps, a lot.

Then again, I wonder how much bad food adds to body odor?  I'm guessing a lot.  Just stop drinking soda, eating bad oils (very high omega 6s, among other things), cutting fast carbs.  Even if my blood sugar doesn't always show it, without carbs there is something much better going on with my body.  My problem, at this point, isn't food.  It is that the whole thing is broken.  I should be dead, even right now.  Better foods really, seriously, make a difference.

To be honest, I could, and maybe should, just eat what the heck I want.  And, die for it.  I won't improve, probably not even possible.  So, really, dying is all I have left... and pain between now and then.  And, yet, now that I know better, and have learned better?  I can't, in good conscience, just let go.  At this point, that would be evil... suicide of a form.  *shrug*  Even if my blood sugar goes high, I can tell it isn't what it seems.  Because when I get back to right foods, or back on insulin, the return to good numbers is so very quick.  It's different, from when it was truly high and when I ate poorly.  Very strangely different.

Well... not sure what to do.  Another fatted coffee, then a nap?  I'll see if I took medicine, and take it if not.  Back to a cool 'spring' day.  Later. 

Ah! Done!

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.

It only took three weeks to finally get trash and recycling out.  Four?  Lots.  Seriously.  I have been trying to get going on it.  I... just couldn't.  Then again, I still haven't gotten to shopping for the month.  And, really, shopping every two weeks is really the goal.  The only reason I shopped last month was because of the men's group.  Which... might end up being how I get out this month.

I haven't been doing things, with the group, because I need to get in to confession.  And, I haven't been able to get out of the house, sum total, for nearly a month... and weeks if not months before that.  So... tired... a bit sore... sleepy... and more, or less?  Still, one thing done.  Trash and recycling out and to the curb.  Recycling was fuller than I thought.  Trash not so much.  But I haven't been cooking much, so... there just isn't more to trash, really.  Especially when what I have been eating is either seeds, bulk packaged, or out of cans... which go into recycling.  I don't mind recycling metals, as I think, think I say, they actually do refine those... and not sell them to China to dump in the sea.  No guarantee, as fucked and criminal as our bureaucrats are these days, but... one can hope.  Usually, if there is a nickel for them to somehow squander or get bribery off from, they won't, usually, merely toss it.  Though there is no guarantee.  They hate us, and might see waste as a patriotic duty, these days.

Anyway...  got it out.  A bit messy, but... so be it.  I even got the bins sacked, and ready for this week... or month.  Bleh.

Oh, but it started raining.  I had to wait an half hour, or so.  I had just showered, didn't want a second one.  The temp dropped back to 40.  Could have dropped more, so I won't complain.  I had turned the furnace up, so as to take a shower in some comfort.  But have since turned it back off.  It did warm the house just a bit.  And, with everything shut, it is keeping it slightly warmer the the low 60s.  Wowsa, boys and girls, this is some very odd weather.  It is getting colder faster than even I really anticipated.  This might be a short term outlier, but... I don't think so.  Cliff meet weather?  Though, maybe.  Perhaps next year will be more normal, or even hotter than usual.  It will go back and forth, as it all heads toward the drain.  Wush!

A nap?  Soon?  Maybe.  I'd like to eat something.  Not sure what.  Sardines?  A can of soup?  Fried eggs?  Dunno.  Or, maybe, nothing.  Later.

Still cool, cold actually.

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.

I checked a few hours ago.  It had gotten down to 38.  I'm not sure if it dipped further.  But, now, it is 42 so I would guess not.  There are times when 38, or 42, feels okay.  Sometimes it even has a... warm shine to it.  But not so recently.  Even at 42, it is a very cold 42.  Something just cold in the environment, beyond the lower temperature.  Yesterday, humidity read "lo".  

Which means it was below the ability of my devices to read.  Both of them, this time.  Currently, it is at 34%.  I have seen readings into the low 20s, percentile, so... I am guessing "lo" means the teens.  Though will 19 do it, or is it more 15?  Just because I haven't seen a teen doesn't mean it is unreadable.  It just may mean that when it drops, it drops low enough to fall off the scale, but is rarely between readable and unreadable, dropping out too fast.  I do think that lower humidity does make the world feel colder.

A shower.  Now to get trash out.  I wasn't sure if this was a holiday.  Who knows what stupid they implement these days.  And calendar apps don't show holidays, or none that I could find.  I'd best get them out.  I keep checking amazon, for deliveries.  They say things are arriving today, but there is some questionable notions.  Either a lot of things are running slow, or maybe it is a holiday.  Though, perhaps, not a holiday to which they totally, completely, adhere.

I do need to get trash and recycling out though.  Really need to.  Ugh.  Best get pj's on, and get trash and such out, and to the curb.  I am all but certain it is both, this week.

I wish I could figure life out.  So tired, confused, hoping to get these things done and quickly.  Ugh.  Send a prayer, if you will, that I might be able to do these small things.  Later.

Not sure.

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.

When did I go to bed?  After 13:30, pretty sure.  But how much after?  I would guess about an hour later, but maybe as much as three hours after.  I almost always check the clock, when going to bed, and when rolling up into my sleep area.  Sometimes, though, I simply can't remember what it was I saw.

Waking?  As well.  I know I saw 00:38.  But... was that when I was getting up, or just a time when I was rolling over, looking?  Being that it is 02:13, and I have been awake for at least an hour, it is possible, though not sure, that was the time I awoke.  Frustrating.  I do try to know, look, remember.  Today was just not a day that could be remembered.  All good though.  Sleep was pleasant, and plentiful enough to enjoy, and get what I needed from.

I did check the temperature, outside, first thing.  It was 40 F.  Really?  I mean, that is nice.  To my way of thinking.  If a bit of a surprise.  It is was 75 where I was sleeping, and 72 further into the room.  I hadn't turned the fans on at bedtime, but an hour or three before waking, it felt stuffy, so I had turned the fan on.  The closest one, and on high.

Downstairs it is 68 to 71 in the front room.  I opened the front door, just a crack.  Which brings the area near the computer, in this front room, down to 69.  I would guess the main of this room is a few degrees cooler.  I am enjoying the cool.  It keeps getting confused, the weather.  First it looks to be heating up, then it just crashes to cool or even cold.  Odd how things work.

I am surprised, however, that we aren't getting rain.  We have the clouds for it, and the cool.  As spooky as that is, it is what it is.  As well, I am wondering about hurricanes.  If any are developing, heading toward the states.  The ones that would get to us would be up from the Gulf.  While I don't expect them from the West, larger storms wouldn't surprise me, and mixed with cold from the North.  Or... not.

I think they thought stopping things would change things.  But it's sort of like, if that were the case, pushing things until everything is off-kilter, then trying to stop doing that, but... things are already off kilter.  To be honest, as has been mentioned before, there is no human involvement.  This is solar.

Though, I kept wondering why it was mostly Chinese scientists and such who were really going long on it being a solar minimum event.  Until I read a bit more of history.  It seems, for China?  They depend on those to get rid of whichever current corrupt and failed government which is in power.  They WANT this to be the time, in order to be able to scrub China of the CCCP.

Now, whatever the case?  I do suspect the CCCP is in serious trouble.  Some of it is the weather situation.  Much of it is their own doing.  It just doesn't matter.  I wonder how many of them see it coming?  The West has it's own issues.  Our elites are about to go away, as well.  Much of it their own doing, though, too, the weather oddities are going to help destabilize things.  Hungry people are a bear to control, especially when the recent efforts have been to brutalize through those controls.  Australia is the poster child for Western tyranny, but all nations, and many US states, were/are as bad.

We'll see.  Things are changing.  Hungry people are more than dangerous, especially when the state tries to herd them, push them, kick them, starve them.  And, yes, they know exactly what they are doing with gas prices, soaring food prices, and devaluation of the dollar.  Every single one of those things is from groups of governing decisions specifically aiming to do those things.  Nothing that is happening couldn't be eased, or even whole-clothe eliminated, in very short order, with a few strokes of pens or minor legislation.  Will take time to ease, but would begin easing immediately.  And adding ethanol to gas isn't part of it.  That will just destroy gasoline engines even faster than the junk does currently.

Man, I'm telling you.  Be ready.  Store food.  And, if gas hits $10, or more, and the dollar keeps eroding on top of it?  You... won't be able to afford to work.  Have some food.  Don't keep much gas in your car, it'll just get stolen.  Nasty, out there.  Watch yourselves.

Almost cold.

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.

The house is staying right around 71, with the front door shut.  I closed the door to the upstairs as well.  It seemed to be getting colder.  Windows are still holding pickles.  Well... ajar.  Upstairs and down.  It was warmer but started cooling, so I shut a few things down.  It's almost spooky.  June?  19th?  71, inside, cooler outside?  Winds, clouds, the possibility of more rain?  I know, I know.  I keep being surprised.  But I... keep needing to be surprised.  Just because one sees, knows, doesn't mean one has experienced what one sees and knows.  Well, and in spite of seeing, one can always hope otherwise.

I am wondering just how fast they can put a safe nuclear plant up?  Because I don't think, initially, they will be able to dig enough coal, fast enough.  Did I say plant?  Make that plural.  Though, too, they will have to build coal burning plants as well.  Not... a few.  Many, of each.  If that is even possible, these days.  The only way they can do those things is to return to the patriarchy and destroy multiculturalism.  Choices.  Simple choices.  

And, actually, it isn't a choice.  It will happen in time to allow the civil to save themselves and much of what was obtained.  Or that will fail, and they will impose what made civilization possible in the first place, heteronormative reality.  Those who don't, can't, belong, will be cast out.  Not gently.  If... they are given an opportunity to flee, they best take it.  Won't be given twice.  And there will be no police or military or courts to intervene.

Baby, it's cold outside.  Winter is coming.  And, if you can't handle it, best to... keep on moving.  Funny thing is, it will start in the cities.  They will take it too far, one way, until they reverse it.  Then, the country cousins will catch up.  Realizing the world has finally changed, for one of two reasons.  I'm telling you, if your minority status is on the side of minority statuses?  Be prepared to leave.  You will no longer be welcome, en masse, whole hog.  It doesn't matter what you, personally believe, think, or how you act.  It won't matter if you have received a free ride, or been protected from reality for your failures.  If your group is part of the left, be prepared to leave or die.

Oh, believe me, it is something I have to consider, as things stand.  And, very possibly, if it comes down that I am considered what I am not but may be considered?  I may well not be welcome.  Even if I am considered what I am, if in halves?  Both sides are actually problematic.  I'm not warning you, from the side you may assume.  I am warning you from the side that may be getting what it deserves.

Funny how the currently most woke will turn the quickest, and most brutally.  I think, currently, they simply feel outnumbered.  And, in the city, some places, they may be.  And, certainly, their police and politics, is against them.  They must feel up against it.  But, at some point, when the levy breaks... damn!  It'll come down.  I'm not sure I will make it, to see that.  Though I hope so, even if it sweeps me away with it.  I'll... just be glad to see the possibility of a people not being removed from the face of the earth.  For, that is the choice.  One group, or another, will be gone.  Either Americans will claim, then reclaim, their nation.  Or they will lose it, and cease to be.  I am... hoping they make it.  But... who knows.  And, it could happen any day.  But, a mini to full on ice-age would definitely... hasten the choices.

To see is to... just that... see.  I can only see so much.  Up to the choices that haven't been made?  Sort of.  I can see what could happen, from then.  But...  And, I can roughly do probability, likelihood, crude odds.  Funny else?  If they lose, I will lose.  If they win, I have a better chance of remaining to my natural end.  I do have to laugh.  And hope.  Later.

Still cool out there.

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.

While 58 isn't cold, compared to 80, or 74, the temps for the last two mornings, it is much more reasonable.  Further, it is 08:45 already, and still cool?  Overcast, but it was overcast when it was 80... and yesterday too?  Bleh, I can't... be sure, but I think both mornings were overcast.  Strange thing was that in spite of starting out at 80, the other day, it only got up to 83, from what I saw.  Today?  Who knows.  It could stay cool, or it might get up into the 90s.  The world isn't playing by old rules.  It seems to just do whatever the hell it wants to do, so... I just don't know.

Blood sugar is up to 161, after breakfast.  Starting out at 125, I am not terribly pleased.  I was careful with sweeteners.  It just doesn't seem to matter, sometimes.  I am thinking a few eggs, in a bit.  The canned corned beef hash seems to be okay, at least with diabetes.  I am getting a different kind, supposed to be better... or more of the corned beef flavor.  This really does taste more like beef hash.  And, yet, it isn't bad.  I just want more food stored, and some variety.

I keep watching my budget, looking for items, keeping them in my list.  Trying to keep enough available so if there is a really good price drop, I can jump on it.  I only put things in my cart if I consider them affordable, or am specifically waiting for a price drop (to what it was, perhaps).  Surprisingly, from time to time, prices absolutely crash.  

Or, with some things, like this hash, the price was relatively good.  But, it dropped a seventh... making it much better.  So I ordered not the three I was going to, but four twelve packs.  This is stuff I can use.  One can of such, per day, for food, is doable... if it all fails, falls, crashes.  Or, I could trade food for something else.  Canned food is semi-liquid, and yet can feed me.  A relatively reasonable item to have.

I keep checking, and looking over the cart.  Buying occasionally.  Trying to keep some money in the account, for any expenses which might arise, unremembered.  But, I don't want to keep much money in the account.  With inflation and no interest, they are scalping me.  So, I prefer to not give them anything to take.  Food will have value, even if there is never  crash.  Money?  Not so much.  I can't collect it fast enough to make it useful to save.  If I were rich, these days, even a millionaire, I'd be terribly worried.  As a pauper, I don't care.  I... don't have much to lose.  House could become worth less than I owed.  Though... probably not.  Not here, not now.  And, technically, with everything locked in, I almost can't lose.  Even if my house went 'underwater', considering how much rent is going up, it is still better to be underwater than paying rent.  Rent on this place would be $1.5k to $2k.  The mortgage is much less.  The thing is, I think... I can sell the current mortgage rate, if I choose to sell the house.  It was part of the program.  So... the value of the house will remain higher than those who don't have that built in.  Of course, finding someone who could afford to buy, in almost any case, would still be a trick?

I would only sell if I thought I was going overseas.  There is, currently, only one nation functionally open to the unvaxxed.  I am waiting for more to open up.  If there becomes three or four reasonable nations, with some protections against enforced vaxxes, I'll stay here.  Hereabouts, if there were more problems than not, I could... drift.  Not so easy in the Philippines, or Ecuador, or Cambodia, for example.  Outright impossible in Vietnam, China, or such.  I'd place Europe closer to the latter group, as to sliding.

Well... on to something?  Or nothing, as usual.  I really want to get to things.  I just can't seem to do so.  I do keep praying.  I really want to get to work.  I haven't been able to do the stairs.  I did so for three or four days, then just... couldn't.  Though, I am setting up something to begin practicing upper body strength too.  Something I bought a few years ago, but never set up.  I... will... get to it.  When... when I can get to things again.  Later.