Awake?

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Mostly.  So far.  Not sure I am staying awake.  Cold.  It feels cold.  

It is 65 out.  And sunny.  I went out and enjoyed some sun, for just a snippet of time.  Then opened windows, turning the furnace off as well.  Perhaps dark weather moved back in?  Or... it's just cool enough to keep me sleepy?  Beautiful day, though, when I went out.  And storms are gorgeous, hereabouts too.  This is a postcard pretty place to live.  If you can afford it.

On to bed, I do believe.

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I received a missive, from the friend who had informed me about the astronomical event.  He almost hadn't gotten out.  Where he is, it had rained earlier.  And he was tired, probably from life in general.  Further, it was a half hour drive to get away from light pollution in order to get a more solid viewing.

As it turned out he went on out.  And, was just as gobsmacked as I had been.  Yes, it was an amazing display.  As I suggested here, I thanked him for confirming my findings.  Of course, I suggested to him, that perhaps that might suggest the polar flip is closer than I had anticipated.  Maybe, or not.  No need to worry about it.  If it happens, it'll be quick.

Way too much chick muzak.

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So... I went looking for palate cleansers.  Found them.

Well... dark and light.  So goes life.

The Aurora Borealis is on.

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I went out to check.  A friend told me it would be visible down here, tonight.  And either yesterday or tomorrow night too?  I forgot, if it was yesterday.  Thursday has a way of creeping into Friday without so much as a "pardon me".  So it was, went, then was gone.

I did go out.  Not too cold tonight, cool, at 43... in my yard.  So I was easily able to just look for five to ten minutes.  It is more than was in Iowa, when I saw it there.  Much more visible.  But... not all that clear.  However, with a good camera, and the right settings, it could really do well.

It is easily visible in Norther Utah, but Iowa, and any state around, perhaps, Arizona-ish on north should be able to see?  Worth a shot, if you are awake.  Rarely visible this strongly, this far south.  

Fascinating?

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Or interesting?

I'm not sure who is out there.  But someone is... suggesting something.

Topsy-turvy.

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Can't be absolutely sure when I went to bed.  Down at between seven and half after?  I... was so tired.  Up at 17:00, right at, perhaps a decade of minutes later at most.  Sassy was fed, first thing.  Hoping to get a shower before too long.  A minor headache, I think from sleep issues and this and that.

Medicines in.  I have been taking medicine, but with sleep all over the place, I am sure it isn't being taken as scheduled.  I just don't know... other than I really don't want to risk overdosing the stuff.  It's brutal.  To be honest, at the level I am on currently, I think that is why I am running into problems.  Last time I got to this level it took one to two months to level out, to some degree.  But I'm never really good on this medicine.  It's almost as bad as the heart condition.

Bedtime.

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No more dreaming.  Mostly.  Echoes of dreams?  Something like that.

Twenty decibels.  That's... where whispers linger.  Here.

Oh, right, still awake.

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Mostly.  Spots of dreams, visions.  No, I don't use drugs.  Never did.  Oh, I have tried a few things.  Not my gig.  I've probably tried two, or three things, singularly, in my life.  Just... wasn't worth the risk, as I saw things.  Plus the cost.  I was always poor, on the poorer side.  Knew what it would take, cost.  Not interested.

So, no.  These things aren't from those things.

Still awake.

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I had an extra burrito, from yesterday.  I ordered an extra, had it in the fridge.  So I warmed that up a few hours after I woke up?  Or so.  Coffee, too.  Then, just a bit ago, tea.  More awake than I thought I would be.  Had to fight to wake up, and initially to stay up.  Now doing pretty good.

I started with medium compression, along with light compression, yesterday.  And that is helping.  It doesn't seem like a lot of extra fluid is being expelled.  But by measurement, it is.  The food really isn't helping me stay warm, even with higher carbs.  But the compression is, especially layered.

Who, and why?

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Just looking around.  Then I... saw them.  Ignored.  Kept rolling the bones, and come up with 7's.  Someone else must have been hitting snake eyes?  Had to laugh.

Three of these showed naturally.  Unusual.  Especially since they have specific meanings.  I have codified them, in the past.  Truths?  What... is the truth?

Night mares.

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All through the night, and into the day.  As I was sitting, thinking, reading... even there the herd rumbled through my mind.  Even Zeus had... mental pussy problems?  Aye.  Had to get hammered, to fix it.  Even then, it... just manifested his headache?  Or... so they say.  Athena lives in all men.  On the other side?  We own their attention.  What would Athena be, without the dirty thoughts of old male gods?  *grins*

Oh, thought I should... add a mapping schedule, so that understanding might be... easier.  Mostly.  If... the vid is male and female?  It's straight, even if I empathize or sympathize with the feminine within.  Happens.  Same when it is lesbian.  Just... consider that an... odd form of straight?  Right.  If you see male gay?  It's... not my blog.  You... have been misdirected.  That... just doesn't happen here.  That I know of, they try to sneak that shit in everywhere.  If it's here, it's not on purpose, or isn't for that reason.  Bleh.

The last twenty pounds?

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Perhaps the last thirty pounds?  Now that I am back into the 120's, if just barely.  And I think when I can tolerate higher compression again, so will be getting rid of the last of the fluid?  It's... about time to begin attempting to lose that last twenty to thirty pounds.

The first ninety pounds off went... fairly well, fairly fast really.  Not painless.  But, once I got that train moving, it went... and if not overnight, sometimes it did go that fast, further along.  Nausea, inability to eat, lots of problems.  But I just kept going, and I got there.

As it turned out...

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I wanted to go to bed by 19:00, or such.  Didn't make it to bed until... two?  Or so.  Waking here at ten.  Which, actually, is pretty good.  My goal is eight hours down, and I hit that.  But with sleep eating my lunch lately, I'm a bit surprised I was able to wake so early.  Though, I'll probably get back to bed before too long.  Ah, I think I know why I was able to get up.  The sun is sort of out!  It has been weeks, or so it seems, with no sun.

Good and bad news?  My mother didn't want anything, but I sent a bouquet of flowers.  Got there, packed well, the greens and another group of flowers were good, but the roses were dead.  Not... exactly the mother's day gift intended.  I'll have to order flowers from a different place.  No, even I am not that ornery.  Not much one can do about it either.  Put a grief out, but... oh well.

Sleepy!

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After waking... whenever I woke?  I was only able to stay awake until a dozen or score after noon, I think.  Then I was back down.  I didn't get up until 17:00.  Checked the return site, calling them to make sure the return counter would be open.  It was, if I could get going.

The shower took to 18:14. or such.  Then bandaging the wounds, after washing them while showering, and getting dressed, took another quarter.  I made it a bit after 19:00.

A shower and to town.

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I had some returns to make.  And, needed food.  If it hadn't been so late I would have taken propane tanks in too.  Just wasn't sure they would be open.  And... there is a limit to what I can do in a day.

While in town, though, I picked up a few burritos.  Not carnivore.  But, at this point, I need food and will have to just not be so picky.  The griddle will be back on track soon.

Still sleepy.

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Still awake.

Coffee.  Thinking about tea.  No food, yet.  Probably not today?  I'll... think on it.

When does a pack become a herd?

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Good golly, Miss Molly.  Dreams.  But... I think it's not just from my side.  Nay.

I was down, asleep, hard, until four.  Then I started waking.  Sassy didn't want to wake up that early, though, so I couldn't, didn't, wouldn't either.  "Food"?  - meow... non-committal...  Finally, around four thirty, after several times, she decided food might be good, roused, and started heading out.

Nice. Finally.

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A shower.  But, first, trimmed my toenails.  That little issue has been keeping me from using compression socks.  Then a shower.  As well, I got clothes into the wash.  A few of my spring jackets, and with water treatment to give them a little, slight, water proofing.  I wouldn't go out in a drenching downpour, but sprinkles, even a lighter rain, would be fine... for a bit... with this treatment.

Now to dry off a bit.  Then get upstairs and tuck in for a while.  I'll need to bandage the old wound again.  I washed it well in the shower.  That part doesn't hurt.  The bandaging may, or may not.  I should bandage the knee again.  I've been letting that just scab.  I suppose I should soften that with the medicated poultice, and covering bandage.  It takes a few days, but that usually softens and removes scabs.  More so since the knee flexes often.

Yes, I am ready for bed.  I just have to, want to, dry off a bit before hitting it.  I'll have the alarms on.  Though might turn it back to six and eight.  If I am honestly hoping to be up well before six.  When sleep goes wicked wild, I just can't be sure how life will work out that way.

Catching up on brushing, and trying to keep up.  Hoping to take another shower tomorrow.  I don't need it, but I like it... if I have missed for a while.  Even pigs like to be clean.  Oink, and sich?  Depends on what is for dinner.  Well... on with things.

Oh, right.  A few posts I had... delayed?  Forgotten to post?  Out.  Goodnight.

Bleh.

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Tea.  I thought it might help.  I used the oolong, with chamomile and hibiscus.  It was okay.  I like the white tea a bit more, but this is a good alternative.  No mint this time.  And, next time, I'll probably just have oolong alone.  I had hoped it would help me... recover, wake, revive, whatnot.

Nope.  Oh, I've stayed awake to 19:00.  But I think I would have anyway.  Further, I think that is about it.  I'm coasting down to a crash.  Down the road, over the cliff, into the dirt.  At least that is merely a sort of... parable?  Something like that.  Unless I try to drive somewhere.  I would crash.  Or be greatly pained to stay awake.

No worries.  I'll just go on to bed.  Hmm, I am thinking of trying to get a shower in, then go to bed.  Food?  No, I'll skip food again today.  I did have a fatted coffee, tea, and several waters today.  But I've only been awake since 16:xx?  Or so.  I think?  Wow.  Exhausted beyond my means to think, remember.  Two more days of not eating?  Or just this one.  I... can't remember.  Not much if I did eat yesterday, half a thing of soup, with veggies and jerky?  If... that was yesterday.

I would eat, today, if I had boiled eggs ready, or meat thawed and an easy way to cook that.  But, as is, that won't happen.  Tomorrow?  Maybe.  Probably not.

Cold, wet, dark, dreary, outside.  But that's fine.  It isn't truly cold.  Though, even with the furnace at 74, it feels cold.  I think that is my problem.  Not eating enough, struggling with dehydration, not eating the best of foods when I do eat.  These things catch up with me.  Even with the electric blanket, I am struggling to stay warm enough while sleeping.  Even dressed more warmly, even with thick wool hunting socks up to my knees.  Struggling.

All good.  I'll keep at it.  A shower, sure.  Then a bit of time to dry off.  Then to bed.  I'll wake when I can, and try to get to things again.  Ugh.  Not complaining?  Oh, I'm complaining.  Won't help, and still hoping to push through a bit, when... possible.  But, yes, whining.

Later, or probably good night.  Might tinker, after showering.  But hoping to just crash early, and wake early.

Sleep is wild.

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I woke up around midnight.  No choice.  Stayed up until... four?  I think so.  Then went on back to bed.  The alarms remained set, at eight and ten.  I was sure I'd be able to get back up by eight, or ten certainly.  So left them set.

I didn't wake until two, or three?  Later.  I've been up for a while, but not sure how long.  Burned through both snooze cycles, to no avail obviously.  Crushed by exhaustion, I couldn't rise.  Sassy had to help me.  She tried several times.  She kept at it, ever few hours.  Of course, she was hungry.  but I had fed her through the night.

Trying to sort things.

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Just can't wake up, get going.  I've been... thinking... reading... doing some small things.  It just hasn't gotten me anywhere.  Tired enough to have a headache most of the day.  Too little sleep, lately.  Dark, cool, gloomy, and wet often enough.

I have the furnace up.  It just doesn't matter, help.  It is even 72 here, near the computer.  But it feels cold.  Yes, no.  I am dressed relatively warmly.  The warmer pj's, a tshirt, thermal jacket, wool socks, shoes... as warm as I am usually dressed in full winter weather.

More femi music?

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Tea.  Decided against coffee, a second round of it.  Went more herbal... chamomile, hibiscus, mint... spearmint or peppermint though?  Well, and white tea as the base.  Working on more herbal, and may back away from caffeine, in time, by bits?  Not fully, just... reducing amounts of the stuff.

Yes, more of the sort of music that was showing up.  Me?  I... just... chuckled.

What a little storm.

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No, a dame, chick, woman, girl, whatever.  A bit... unhappy with what I have been writing.  Debating, as they do?  Maybe.  Certainly not happy.

Want?  I... don't want.  Not the one who is speaking.  If I wanted her, I would have done at least a minor chase.  If you don't see me in your rearview mirror?

Having to fight for it.

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So tired.  Didn't end up going down until two.  The eight and ten alarms were on.  I woke, initially, at about 7:46.  Turned off the eight alarm, if I thought I might wake before the ten alarm.  Nope.  I rode the ten alarm through it's trajectory, but did wake if at eleven.  Feeding Sassy first thing.

A bit of kefir to start.  I'll get coffee water heating.  Love that french press.  It's... messy, but honestly fairly easy and fast to clean.  Good for tea, too.

Three.

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I created three posts.  On this topic.  Recently.  I haven't posted any of them, and won't this one... for now.  In time I'll let them fly.

Yes, I... get this, that.

So dry.

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Can't figure it out.  I have been drinking less water, until a few days ago.  But I had stopped eating for three days, until later last night.  Even then, only two eight ounce bowls of soup.  I had forgotten about electrolytes, something you need on carnivore, probably keto too.  Or extra salt, though I'd more recommend electrolytes.

Though, in my case, since I need to take waterpills I need medical grade potassium, as well as magnesium, zinc, and other minerals.  Plus, doc says I was low on vitamin D (in spite of taking 2k per day, so I've upped it to 10k).  And, renal doctor suggested niacin (one of the B vitamins).  I had been on a B super complex, but... lost track of that.  With all they want, and at the levels I need to take, I'm going to ask them to put it in for medical.  Those are... expensive.  I have some, of some, but not all.  I... can't afford more, and more, and more.

Long nap.

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Not sure when I went down.  It was after 13:00?  Maybe slightly before or after 14:00?  I just don't know.  I was down to 16:00, or so.  After, but how much I can't be sure.  A few to twenty after.  But, it was good.

So dark, blustery?  Well, it sure seems like a storm could, or did, hit.  A very little sun for a while yesterday.  Just... I had thought it was coming back to warmer weather.  Though today might be a good day to get out.  But... no.  Back to stormy spring weather.  It sounds like Iowa is getting the same.

Strange.

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Someone... thinks... something.  Oh, sure.  I see their point.  If, too, I think they miss my point.  A well wish, for a disaster of a future, is not... all it seems.  Or, even what it might seem.  If I wish you good fortunes in the war to come, even if I know you will be ended in them?  That... isn't a curse, or spite, or else.  I... mean... good fortune in the wars come.

Not bad?

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Oh, I mean I'm still tired.  But, in spite of going down at two, I am awake just at nine.  The eight alarm, technically, did the trick.  I was just slow to physically rise, dress, and get down here.  I had to sit a few to dozen minutes after every minor effort.

Dark, gloomy, potentially going to be wet out there as well, today.  Not terrible, but... definitely a wet spring this year.  Wouldn't surprise me if they dump water anyway, and we end up too low this year.  We'll see.

Uhm-hm?

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I see.

Oh, I feel, anyway.