A wonderful nap.

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One less fan needed, upstairs, it seems.  I was sure the ac wouldn't really reach to the far side without a fan near it.  And, I do know, the fan near me is required, or I get way too hot, despite it technically being cooler.  But, no.  Actually, for whatever reason, the second fan was keeping the temperature a degree higher?  Maybe it created too much pressure, pushed air out?  Specifically the cool air, somehow?  Don't know.

It's still very warm down here on the ground floor.  83 near the machine, 77 or more in the rest of the house?  Something like that.  But it is down to 72 outside.  I have learned that, while I can keep the west window open far later into the early afternoon, I do have to shut it or, again heat will pour in.  So the house does end up shut.  It only gets to the 80s, compared to the mid to low 90s outside, and just in this front room.  The main part stays in the mid to high 70s, 77 usually seems to be where it tops off.  Still annoyingly warm, but better than the 80s by far.

Sassy got fed right away.  She let me know her belly had a hankering.  So, fed she was.  Then I refilled the reservoir for the r.o.  I had filled the carafe before going to bed.  That is, sort of, a neverending task.  Sometimes more, sometimes less, but always some work in on that.  With the sinks open, it is easier, but slower.  If I want it done quickly, I will use the tub.

The sprinklers were set up and let rip.  I may try to skip regions, so overlaps aren't immediate.  Just to give the areas a chance to soak in better.  It will be a bit more work.  But when tallied, not all that much.  And, I think I can tonight.  I am watering about half the time I did last time.  That didn't even seem to help.  This is still a bit longer than what is considered necessary.  But that is if the lawn is in better shape.  I may have to water a little extra, in frequency.  It's just not coming back.  Night should be the best time for it, though.

I may have a salad shortly.  Then begin considering work tonight.  The counters, and stovetop, are first.  Well, I could set dishes up first, then hit the counters.  Work in the bathroom, after, and try to keep pushing the dishes through.  It is not cooling well in here, even with fans hitting it, windows and door open.  It doesn't make work easy.  Later.

A few beers and a nap?

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The roasts turned out well.  I just had a few thin slices of each.  I kept hoping to get going, but it's not working.  Zombified, I just sat.  Viewing thoughts of travel, means of travel, even looking up how to get a passport.  It takes, from application to receipt, up to three months, maybe a bit more depending on how long it takes to be delivered.  At least I know.  And, I know where, locally, to get that started.  I'll apply for one soon.  It doesn't matter if I stay here or go somewhere, I'd like to have it.  As well, it lasts ten years.  I didn't realize that.  If nothing else, it makes for an additional means of id.

Just a few beers.  It's been hot, when I have gone out.  But coming back into the house it is as if it is air conditioned.  I did see, I think, the temp drop just a bit.  It had gotten, I thought, to 94.  Last I looked it was down to 91.  Which was a bit strange.  It didn't seem overcast, or even as if it had been.  Sometimes cooler air moves in, but it didn't seem as if the wind was going.  Not always necessary.  As I have mentioned, sometimes it is more as if the air, as a block, is sliding through.  Who knows, and I can't be sure I saw it that high, though it was higher.  I have seen slight, odd, bumps up or down at strange times.  Though, perhaps that is normal.  Or... the new normal?

Just a few beers, then on up to a nap.  Then, hopefully, up in time to water the lawn tonight, and do some work in the kitchen.  Much later... or goodnight.

Grilling.

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With a headwind?  Sort of.  When it hits the 90s out there, or more, it's like driving, actually though, with a tailwind.  In the winter is when headwinds are faced.  The roasts got there first check, and turn, twenty minutes in.  And... they... are cooking fast.  To be honest, after this next twenty minutes, and  final turn, I will probably cut the dampers and let them finish in there for another twenty minutes.  The smells...  Oh, I do love meats grilling, or cooking rightly in just about any way.

While waking, I started thinking about other ways to get to Argentina, or Ecuador, or else.  Currently not possible, completely, by road.  Not all the way down anyway.  But, driving?  Motorcycling?  The problems with any of those is... I suspect you have to have the covid vax before they would let you in.  No go.  Further, there isn't a road between Panama and Columbia.  Even if they started that today, and that is very unlikely, it would take ten, twenty, thirty years? to complete.  It won't be easy or fast.  More, there is no fairy around the Darian Gap (the area between north and south).

Waking.

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Still somewhat cool, if warming.  Not doing much, but I did start the grill.  And got the roasts ready.  For some time, I wasn't happy with grilled roasts.  But, between a bit of practice, and lucky notions which lead me to better practices, I finally really like grilled roasts.  Cook longer, at a lower heat, after searing the outside well.  And, don't bother with them often.  Every twenty to thirty minutes is good, especially for larger roasts.  Better to cook slower than hotter.  And, finish them off with the smoker completely shut down.  It moistens the outside of the roast.  Most people use aluminum foil.  Unnecessary if you just shut the thing up, assuming it can get a nearly airtight seal.  Mine, of course, does.  Or I wouldn't be writing this.

After the roasts, I'll probably do some chops and chicken.  Just have food done for the week.  I haven't been eating well, or rightly, in part because I couldn't cook.  This should... help me get back on track.  I'll have some of the beef roast, first.  Though I might have a snippet of the pork roast.  And, maybe, a drumstick... just to make sure.

I did learn a new trick regarding pork chops.  They always curl, bow.  Now, that isn't a problem.  Mostly.  It is more an appearance thing.  The trick?  Cut them, around the edges, before grilling.  Now, how deeply?  Where exactly?  I watched, and have a rough idea.  But that was for deep frying.  For grilling?  Probably similar.  I will just experiment and learn.  I do want them to lay flat.  I think they will get a better sear.  And be easier to cut, and more pleasant to the eye?  Depending on your eye, I suppose.  But... I... like the idea.  More for the sear, but a bit for the eye.

I will try to work today.  Beyond cooking.  I did get the water all reset, but am staying up on that fairly well.  And took care of litter boxes, and feeding Sassy.  Hmm, I need to get her fresh water though.  Having taken a shower yesterday, I'll probably skip that today?  Unless I get through the dishes, at least one load reset, washed, and set aside?  Then, maybe, I'll take a shower.  But the counters and living room... I really want those done.

I suspect if I can get started, I can get going and do more.  I'll do my best.

Well, another day.

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I've mostly closed up the house, save that mid-back western window that seems to help, and for now the front door.  The front and back parts of the house are cool, but the middle room is warm and humid.  I tinkered with the ceiling fan.  Perhaps that was switched?  Not sure, but it's odd.

It is so strange, upstairs.  When I turn the fan on, near me, the temperature actually drops  two to three degrees.  But it feels much hotter.  Very strange.  I just thought I and the fact the sun is hitting that side, is why it warms.  But, no.  How the fan makes it heat up, but feel so chill I need blankets, is a bit of a trick.  It was 73, and I was burning up.  I turned on the fan, it got to 76, and I needed all three blankets.  Bleh.

I am hoping to get to work today.  The north counters.  Dishes.  And the living room.  Maybe, but not sure... about some of it... any of it.  Still, that is the goal.  It was just at 72 at about nine this morning, outside.  It was 72 in this front and probably back rooms, but the middle room was 75.  Strange.  Later.

Brutal.

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The heat of the day, the efforts, just how things go.  Tired beyond belief.  Perhaps I can sleep?  It is nearing time.  I opened things a bit.  Cooling, but it will be all night before it actually cools down.  It is 83, still, in this front room, 77 in the main last I checked.  It has been open for a goodly while, but probably only in the low 70s to this point in the night.

I have been working on the leg wound.  Bandaging, cleaning while showering.  Re-bandaging .  But, then, opening to get air from time to time.  I've left it open for the evening, but will bandage again before bed.  Using triple antibiotic when I bandage.  Though, sometimes, I might skip that.  I really have to be careful with wounds, with diabetes.

I had hoped to gain a second breath, to work more this evening.  It just isn't possible.  Too hot, too tired, too worn.  But a good day.  Just getting the flattop loaded up, and out... plus getting groceries?  Very good.  I had hoped, if nothing else, to do cooking for the week.  It... just isn't going to happen.  Tomorrow.  I will grill a couple of roasts, a number of chops, and some chicken drumsticks.

Oh, I think I will eat it.  I haven't been eating enough, or rightly, for a while.  We'll see.  As well, I have salad, and fresh veggies.  I miss those, even in the heat.  If I probably wouldn't have been able to cook much in the last week.  I did what I could, and that mostly didn't include much cooking.  Fresh meats should be a treat.  Fresh veggies as well.  And, salad is a thing.  It really is.

Well?

Finally.

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The shower was taken.  And, I had a backlog of clothes to wash by hand.  Unders to socks.  Plus new socks.  I got two sizes.  Since the smaller ones fit, with slight swelling, the bigger ones will fit well, more so if swelling gets much worse.  So I washed the pair I had tried, and the new pair.  Though, I think there was something in the first compression socks.  I got a blister about halfway up the shin, to the left quarter... about center.  And, that blister popped, or really I popped it.  Now I have a sore.  Yes, I think something was in it.  A but that bit?  A chemical?  Who knows.

I wore it all day.  Right out of the bag.  Not... a good idea.  Just try it on.  If it fits, from now on, then wash it before using it.  So... I got that all done, cleaned, but no shave.  Not even a trim.  Time.  It was getting late.  I wasn't sure when they closed, but I thought they closed earlier on Fridays... 16:00, 17:00?  It was a bit after 16:00.  

UPS, that is, for the return of the flattop.  Now to wait for the return deposit and begin searching for a larger unit.  I think this might have been a problem with how they set up smaller propane tank intakes.  And how those work with larger tanks.  Though, then again, I tried the small too.  I think it was just a failure.  There is always the possibility of user error.  But I read the manual.  And it is far from rocket science.  Indian brass parts, with no oversight?  Chinese?  Small companies have great difficulty, because they can't have white inspectors on-sight, and can't afford to do quality checks here?  Unless they are hiring here, but at the bottom of any and every job offering?  Anyway... it's returned.  I'll still order from them, but buy locally.  And one that takes larger tanks to start.  I really would have liked that one, but oh well.

After returning that beast of a box, I went on to the grocery store.  I have all of it up, but some meats out.  Some to be cooked this afternoon, or night.  Not sure I can stay up much longer.  I could get the last of the dishes restarted.  But I don't think I'll do much else.

It was 96 out, when I left.  Dry as a bone, I suspect, though... didn't look.  And that can be deceiving.  It was hotter in town.  All the traffic, tar, buildings, and just anger from people... as they slowly bake no mater whether they have ac or not.  Still, got through, and mostly civilly.  I did get a bit irate, a few times.  I now pray when I feel that hangry, hotangry, coming on.  And, sometimes it works.  Today it worked exceptionally well.  I did get a bad man dog treat though, beer.  Oh, yes, I... I wanted beer.  Not much.  Just a sip.  But... yes.

Oh, I was listening to the Catholic radio station.  Annoying, sometimes.  In some ways.  Oh, I know.  Remember when Peter prayed that God release him from a thorn in his side?  Right.  Well, they were discussing that.  Rightly, wrongly, seemed reasonably to me.  The thing is, God doesn't always remove that thorn, the temptation, that price for sin, or whatever.  Something about God wanting both humility to bloom, but, also, to look deeper.  Find what the real problem is.

I... know my thorn.  And, more, I know what it is there to do.  I am supposed to find a woman.  I don't see how.  But, I know what.  A wife woman.  Never married, unless, maybe, a widow... and innocent one.  Viable, or not at all.  The unviable just don't last.  Something is missing.  The season that needs to allow her field to lay fallow... it isn't there.  Ugh.  I know, I just don't know how to fix it.  I am thinking God is asking too much.  And, yet, if some things come to pass, I... may get a chance.

As I was waking...

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Looking.  A pair I have watched before.  And, on several topics.  Why?  Well, this one should be obvious.  While I have refused a heart transplant, simple medical upkeep... could be a trick.  However, it seems, there is... a way.  And, without having to return to America every year.  Or more.  As I was watching it, I was sweating it.  Would my choices pop, as places to get what is needed?  European nations, first.  Not... quite... my choice.  For about a dozen dozen reasons.

Now, while I really would like Ecuador, Argentina is becoming more likely, for a single dozen reasons.  From food to weather to a few other things.  Oh, and the clot shot is still required in Ecuador.  I wonder if they are still masking?  I'll actually have to check about Argentina, as to masking, as well.  If it's not ready for prime time, it'll just have to wait.

Almost eleven.

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I did wake earlier, and get the place shut down.  It kept everything to the mid 70s.  Which was as good as it got, pretty much.  I didn't close up the upstairs, but was awaken about an hour later, say around nine, when temps hit 76.  Yea, that will wake me, if it was 72 most of the night.  Heats up fast, faster up there than down here.  Actually, I had closed the east window, just had the west window and a big fan going.  For whatever reason, the trick that works down here doesn't work up there.  With or without the door open.  It's just different up there.  The roof, and attic, I guess.  Metal roof, for whatever good or ill that does?

So, a pleasant morning.  More so knowing the lawn has been watered.  Perhaps, too, today, I can began back in on work?  I sure hope so.  Burned through days with it being too hot, or me being too tired.  I won't be able to get it as close as I had hoped, but I can do a bit more.  The counters along the north wall, the bathroom, finishing dishes, and maybe some more work in the living room.  Oh, and getting the boxes that have shown up broken down, and out to go when next I get to town.

I would really like to finish the bathroom, and clear much of the living room.  It is possible.  Not... likely.  Possible.  I am fighting to stay on medicines.  It's hit or miss.  I have been missing, say, three to five of fourteen doses a week.  I catch up, when I can.  Not sure that is good, but... I... do anyway.  Crap, but I have been missing insulin again.  Blood sugar is 307, but given my candy diet for about a week there?  I'm surprised it is within readings.  Then again, the last two days, I have only had between four and six hundred calories.  Too warm to do much cooking, or eating.  Still...

On the good side?  Out of mints.  I think I ate them because I couldn't keep up on cooking, or groceries.  Even if I had groceries, I am burning myself to the ground working, when I can.  Right until I sit around like a zombie.  Can't cook either time, really.  Though, maybe I could have gotten a roast in, or else.  But I was trying to push through work.  May have to just sneak to town.  I'll need to wake, shower, would like to actually finish the dishes, or at least hit them, then set them out if that is what I can do, then shower.  Putting them back.

Not quite yet.  Hmm, water, right now.  But I'll have a fatted coffee before long.  Powdered cream, instead of fresh.  Not as tasty, but swelling hasn't returned since I stopped the fresh and didn't restart.  It's been rougher, the last few days, not being able to do anything, then when I could work.  Pushing through, like slamming on the accelerator, and the breaks, is hard on the machine.  I wanted to go, couldn't.  Burned out doing nothing.  Hopefully that is finished... for a while.

At least I have a few dollars still in the bank, some in the pocket, some coming back in, and actually even more coming back.  That will cover bills for this month, and all of them.  I got everything, save two, caught back up this last month.  This month I will finish catching up.  And, I will see if the meats I have will carry me through, so all I might need are veggies, eggs, and canned goods.  If eggs are available at a price I would pay.  Not sure if that bogus shortage is done yet or not.  No, I don't trust the bastards.  And if you do, good on you.

We'll see what can be done.  Both to the end the of the month, and after.  At this point, every tomorrow is going to be suspiciously similar, or dubiously unfamiliar, or... in some odd way, as with the rest of my life, both.  I have always had just enough precognition to... sort of remain mobile when needed, and to go to ground when that was best.  Or, well, I'm not dead... mostly.  Or, haven't died for moving at the wrong time, or staying put too long.  So far.  It's getting tight.

Well... on to waking.  Tinkering on the internet, figuring out some small section of the world through scrying some I trust, or... don't trust but to within certain limits.  None can tell you the emperor wears not clothes.  But, they describe being naked pretty well, without saying it, if you... know how to read.  Use them as tools, learning to refract and shift.  But, understand, you might as well be gutting a sheep, sometimes, and prognosticating that way.  And, that, no matter what else, you are wading through a dung pool for bits of information, or outlines of what isn't said, rather than getting any clear or exposing data.  With that in mind, off I go.  Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to read I go...

Later.

Finally, finished.

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I thought about just turning the water off.  Decided to move the sprinklers out of the way of the sun.  The temperature has dropped to 59.  I think it had dropped to 58, but went back up a degree.  It did that earlier, though, too.  Dropping to 71, then going back up to 72.  Must be a weather hiccup?  Well, there it is.

Done.  Buttoned a few things up.  Now on to bed.  I will open the upstairs, and use the alternative fans.  And sleep until warmth wakes me, or the sun.  Hopefully I can get up early enough to close things down before it gets too warm.  Oh, I... am afraid.  It's late, at 03:49.  Still, all good.  I'll do my best.  Good morning, day, and goodnight.

Not much.

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But, getting the lawn watered is rather important.  Not sure if the grass will come back.  It's rather rough out there.  I'll keep at it though.  Pushing watering a bit if need be.  I am on the second to last zone.  There was some minor overlap, if that probably wasn't a bad thing.

Though, if I had the energy, I would have hit one zone, then a middle zone, then the far zone, then... basically I would have only overlapped after some time had passed.  I simply don't have the strength, endurance?  Most likely the latter.  It will just have to do as is.

I did get the meat grilled.  It ended up more like a light beef jerky anyway.  It was very thin, like an eighth of an inch?  Generous one?  Four pieces was good enough.  As well, I had spinach, with vinegar.  I am really enjoying that.  I missed that?  I had it, fairly often, as a kid.  Sometimes fresh, sometimes canned.  I... sort of thought I didn't like it.  And, maybe I didn't?  I sure do now.

One more turn of the sprinklers, and I should be good.  With that.  It has finally dropped a bit more, to 66 outside.  But it is still 78 in here, near the computer.  Not much cooler in the rest of the house.  Perhaps upstairs?

I would like to get a shower in.  But will have to either do or move the dishes.  Move, drain and move, if I can even get to that.  While I am tolerating the heat, it is battering me.  Days and nights can switch, or not.  Sleep might not be needed, until it can't be avoided.  It's a tough gig, just sitting here in the heat.  I don't feel hot, but I am.

I keep thinking about that dream this morning.  Now, it isn't prognosticatory.  The kin in it where younger than they are now, by twenty years.  Oddly, I wasn't.  Hmm.  Not sure about it all.  Though, I must admit, I think it has nearly happened a few times.  The feds, while they are keystone cops, got people in and on it who could do it.  Probably special forces.  And... they took care of it.  If I could sense it, others could.  Though, when they talk about chatter.  Even my kind, with no connection to the devices, are considered a form of chatter.  Anyway, I am... almost expecting a hit.  Somewhere.  Soon.  America?  Europe?  The Middle East?  China?  Taiwan?  Japan?  Lots of targets, lots of itchy fingers, lots of idiots these days.  Your politicians aren't... your politicians.  How would you know if that was actually Biden?  Or Xi?  Or Putin?  Or that they weren't so compromised so as to be anything but a direct tool.

Do you think America is the only nation to have had it's elite controlled?  Though, I don't think there is anything but opposition and controlled opposition.  Not at this point.  Thanks, Microsoft.  That is where it happened.  Stalin gained power through knowledge.  He had everybody's kgb file.  Add two and three and if you arrive at four, your file is known, held, and is being used.  Look at how many politicians do the exact opposite of both what they say, and what is needed.  That is all you need to know.  Corrupticrats.  It is just the way it is.  We simply don't have a Washington or Leonidus.  Or Christ.  Could be our dark night of the soul.  Though the final one, or just another in a long chain of them, is another question altogether.  We will find out, and fairly shortly I should guess.

Hmm... really cooling now.  Still reading 78, but the air coming through is nearly cold.  Oh, I hope it continues.  A mid to low 50s would be super, a 40s would be tremendous.  I'll open up the upstairs, when I go that way.  And, hopefully, before too long.  I just hope I can wake in time to shut it down before it gets too hot.  Later, or goodnight.

The meats are thawed.

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I have moved the sprinklers twice, now.  So in their third running, so sixth zone.  Two more zones?  Give or take.  But it is not cooling down out there.  It remains right at 72.  That is just too warm to really do anything for in here.  Fans going, windows open, it just doesn't matter.  It has gone down just three degrees, to 81, in here.

I have the grill lit.  Will check it in twenty.  Generally, I light it, with the vents open and the lid cracked.  Letting that run as such for twenty minutes.  Then, if it looks like it has taken, I let the lid drop, and dampen the vents down.  I then leave it that way for about twenty minutes, to let it cool.  THEN I cook,  Probably gives it more time to burn of lighter fluid.  Though, really, I should start using the coal chimney.  It works as well with cowboy charcoal as it does with the briquettes.  I just much prefer the cowboy charcoal.  Though, if I am going to bother, I really should use just paper and coals?  Probably.

To be honest, I have never tasted the lighter fluid.  Is it putting off carcinogens?  Is anything not?  And to what level do coals, alone, put off things?  If you are going to be paranoid, be thorough.  If you aren't, you may be running from a pan into the fire.  Look before you leap.  I'm never sure.  I don't think scientists are.  Actually, I know they aren't.  And, for a fact, the more sure they are, the more wrong they are.  It's like that physics thing, where the more you know where you are the less you can know where you are going?  Right.  Checkmate.

I need to water again, probably Saturday.  The way I am doing it, I won't have to bother with the auxiliary line.  I can just walk the two connected lines back, and then forward when next I water.  I just like to keep them out of the sun, so they don't cook while resting.  Couldn't be good for... anything.

Sure am hungry.  I hope the meat slices don't have freezer burn, or bad flavor.  Been in there a while.  And they are thin.  Was going to jerk them, just never got around to it.  And, past a certain age, I just don't want to do that... not with older, longer frozen, meat.

I just couldn't get to things.

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I checked outside, a bit ago.  I was going to water the lawn, but... it started raining?  I checked the temp.  Outside was 72, but inside was in the 80's, front and back.  Not... sure why.  Or even why it was still hot.  I had a few things open, and fans going.  Though, perhaps, the rain and something just before it only just cooled off the outdoors?  No.

Whatever the case, I gave it some time.  It's still warm in here.  The fans aren't doing much.  It didn't continue to rain.  It was just a spot of moisture, no more.  And here and gone.  So I started the sprinklers, setting them up all over again.  Still, fairly quick.  I'll go faster on the watering, hit more areas.  And, I'll water again sooner.  If... I can stay awake, or be awake, at the right times.

I pulled some meat from the freezer.  I expected that to be thawed by now, skirt steak.  Not a chance.  *sigh*  It may thaw by the morning.  If so, I'll grill some up.  And have veggies of some sort.  I have the timer set for the sprinklers.  Will check the skirt steaks every other round.  I will be watering three double zones in front, and two double zones in back.  The grass doesn't look to be coming back... will see.

While I am trying to wake?

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It is 13:10.  I sit here, as I have all morning, just... sitting here.

Oh, well, I have been looking over Spanish videos.  I do know some rare Spanish words.  Denada, por favor, spelling?  Uno, cinco, and others.  But, as with German and French, it has been so long since I used any of it, or even really heard it, that it's just garbled... gobbledygook.  Still, unlike, say Japanese, or Khmer, or Russian even, I have a background in the language.

Well, now, Argentina has it's own version.  Though a bit of study will fix that.  Especially knowing, up front, while studying Spanish again, that is... something that can be baked into the process.  Even so, it is still a lot of work.  I never became truly fluent in Spanish.  French and German, but not Spanish, or Italian.  I just got a touch of those.  But... there are similarities.  Then again, as mentioned, they are all rather dated... the skills.

Even so, I am going to begin studying.  Japanese?  When I realized foreigners, while somewhat welcomed, are more like exotic pets?  Which, is fine.  It makes sense.  I... just... didn't quite have the same interest.  That is a lot of effort for very little return.  Argentinian?  I could, probably, possibly, fit in there.  Always as an outsider.  But, not... purely foreign.  It is a nation of foreigners.  As, I suppose, America... to one extent or another.

But, no videos on that.  Just saying I am kicking over the old tongue, seeing what might be revived.  A polyglot?  I'm not sure I see the reason.  Though two tongues would be good.  It's just that, if I am going to ask another nation to take me in, I do have an obligation to learn.  It's on me.  Even bringing my own income, I... am at their disposal... until I earn my way in more ways than just paying my rent.

Awake.

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I went to bed early enough, I thought, to get up in the night... do watering... open thing up.  Not a chance.  Though I may suspect the problem.  The problem has taken care of itself.  I can't keep hard candies, for diabetes, around.  When in zombie mode, I will eat them.  All.  So... yea.  And, yes, the diabetic spike, I think, is what I will have to work my way through.

I checked outside.  It is 72 at the moment, but warming.  Still, it was 77/78 downstairs.  So I opened half the windows, and the front door, and am letting it rip.  I've got, maybe, an half hour to hour and an half before I'll have to close up shop.  It is what it is.

Dreams, last night.  One of them was the US being hit by nukes.  Two.  I was with family, not my dearest.  But... it was what it was.  We went looking for foods, first, for we were far from home.  They sent two of us into one store, and they went to another.  Our group was of fifteen, so we needed a lot of food.  Chuck roasts seemed to be favored, and other meats as available.

There were some, we got them.  But the rest of the store had, mostly, been stripped.  After getting our bag, some people in there seemed a bit perturbed.  Weren't sure if they were about to become a problem, so the two of us in this store, grabbed our goods, and headed to the entrance.  Didn't want to go out, but wanted to be able to get out.  Tenuous.  Didn't have to pay, nobody but customers there.  Though, as mentioned, all of the shelves were stripped, and most of them were gone.  It was like being in a large gymnasium.  The meats had been in cases, which were still refrigerated.  Electricity was still on where we were.

The other group showed up shortly.  They had been successful as well.  Because of my operation, and that I had managed it well, using size and whatelse, a new appreciation was gained and I became slightly more accepted.  The cousin that was with me was white as a ghost.  He had been frightened by the near confrontation, and would have given up the food.  He thanked me for taking charge and handling it, and without bloodshed.

They thought to leave a few slabs of meat.  I vetoed the idea.  They would just ensure bloodshed.  The two groups in there were opposed, and would fight over it, rather than split it.  Thankfully, they believed me.  Some didn't want to believe, but those in charge... understood.  It's a whole new world.  And offering each a bit of meat would just have them demanding more or becoming violent.  New world?  Old world become honest?  Or.... just... a real world facing starvation.

We kept going.  With two vehicles, a lot of people, several firearms, we were less of an easy target.  We did see vehicles, stripped, suitcases looted, blood splatters.  It was going bad fast.  We ended up at a small ranch someone knew about.  Perhaps they knew the owners.  We approached cautiously.  Everything seemed okay, but the cattle seemed a bit skinny.

We looked around, but found no one, and no signs of violence, thankfully.  Perhaps they just skipped.  Though, most likely, violence just happened somewhere else, or they were chased off?  The cattle hadn't been fed for days.  Not sure how long.  Their water was automated, and that still worked.  So... we dug in and started feeding the animals.  Though, of course, if the owners returned, we would hand it back... just ask to be part of the crew, for part of the cut, and food.  They... never returned.

No good going back.  We got news that the home area was very radioactive.  Most got out, before it all settled in from the winds and over time.  But there was nothing to go back to, and no one.  So, we... settled in, and became ranchers.  We inherited a grand herd, and did our best.  Got pretty good.  And, when things settled, we began trading meats for veggies, help at times, upkeep we didn't know how to do, and such.  Always had to be on guard though.

Life had become a steady ready alert type of thing.  Someone in the distance, a shadow that seemed wrong, always alert.  Some people liked the wildness, barbarism.  And would rather steal, murder, rape, than just do it right.  People think the old lawmen were brave.  And, sometimes, they could be.  But, as it became was as it was.  He would only go out, mostly, if it was someone he knew, and he had a lot of backing.  You, really, are your own law.  Makes me wonder how they arrested almost anyone, back then.  They really weren't brave, or as brave, or like the type of braveness, they portend, in the old Westerns.  Unless the sheriff was a bit psycho, and lucky, if he lasted.  But that could well be it's own problem.  

Other dreams.  The rest were shorter, and have passed from easy memory.  A long sleep, too.  From... 15:00 to 08:00?  Something like it... seventeen hours?  Yikes.  I had spells, when I woke lightly, tried to get up.  Couldn't.  Midnight, and 03:00, and 05:00... maybe other times.  Could. not. wake. up!  Ugh.

A shower.  Breakfast, or coffee at least.  The rest?  Depends on how cool it can get before I can try to start.  Later. 

Didn't get to a thing.

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Going to bed.  Oh, well, I did a package, and put the items away.  Well, save a few things to go upstairs when I go to sleep.  It still feels cool.  While reading 81 in the front room, 75 in the main, it is 97 outside.  So... yeah.  Still, strange that it feels cool?

I have been looking for more information on Argentina.  Well, and other places.

As to security?  Someone sent something, I think.  And, fine.  I'll show it.

Much better, as to interior temps.

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I have, this year, been experimenting.  Actually, I experiment every year.  The thing is, how it works one time is not what works with a slightly different situation.  Say, same temps, but wind out of a different direction, or humidity being different, or perhaps it is overcast but all else is similar.  Everything is... different.  And the results, from the same rigging, as I call it, can vary drastically.

Today, I have everything closed, except the west window in the kitchen, and all the fans on, except the one in the washroom.  And?  And it is 87 out there, 73 in here, everywhere (downstairs).  Very... interesting, and nice, at 11:31.  Heck, even at the computer it is only 74, so just one degree above the general room temp.  This, I must admit, is awesome!

I haven't started working yet.  And, perhaps, I won't.  I may just goof another hour or two, then go on to bed.  Perhaps a shower though?  Maybe.  And, then, tonight, work through the cool, while also watering the lawn.  If I can get going, I may do some work.  Dishes, clearing the counters.  But maybe not.  I am enjoying the cool.  It's difficult to push off from that, having it be hot in here, mostly, for a while now.  But, it looks like I found a really good rigging... if too, that requires it get cool enough outside to get that indoors.

Awake at eight.

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Down at 22:30, I think.  Not sure why I stayed awake that late though.  I just got trapped in being awake?  Lost track?  Whatever.  It is 70/73 upstairs with everything buttoned and the ac and fans running, 68 in the main of the house, 67 in the front.  It is 63 degrees and percent humidity, currently.  It must have gotten into the mid 50s?  Low 50s?  All very good.  As for upstairs, I wanted to open it up, but was simply too tired.  And, I wasn't sure, at that point.  It would have warmed.  Oh... I know... I stayed awake for it to cool enough to open things up, at least down here.  Ah...

Today?  Finish the dishes.  Should be able to wash everything.  Then begin on the north counters, and stovetop.  As well, work on opening the kitchen table up.  Work in the livingroom, too.  That keeps not being done.  But, today... today is the day.  It's because I don't like that sort of job.  Sorting.  It... just... bothers me.  Until I am doing it, then it is fine.  I have an irrational fear of sorting?  Maybe.

But, the goal is to get things completed by, say, noon, or 14:00.  Whatever I am going to do, I want to get done by then.  Then sleep.  So that, in the evening, night, and morning, I can water the yard.  I have six different areas to water, and I am watering them a bit longer since I haven't watered them well.  Though I may be pushing that along a little faster tonight, if hitting more zones?  It would even out, I suppose, in time.  But instead of six zones, there would be nine.  Though six, in the front, will be done two at a time.  Hmm... then again, if I can find another hose, I could do two of the three zones in the backyard at once, then do the single zone alone... or hit the most needed zone twice?  Maybe.

Oh... but... a bit more.  Then again, I have to wake up first.  Get a shower in.  Then get to things.  Wednesday, is it?  Yes.  I thought so.  Hoped so?  Only it being Tuesday, or even still Monday, would have been better.  But I can work with Wednesday.  By the way, whoever decided how to spell Wednesday needs a shot to the hanging ones.  Just... saying.  Especially on Monday.  Though Tuesday, or any other day, would do well.  Oh, I know how to spell it, now.  I... T...  And... Wednesday.  :p  But it sure was a mess learning, especially before spell-correct.

A very good morning.  Loving the cool.  slept well.  Coffee water is heating.  I could have some microgreens?  Well, not until the next batch starts growing.  I wasn't sure I'd be eating them all that fast.  Not the tastiest of things, but with some vinegar, oil, salt, and pepper, and probably any other dressing, they are not bad.  I don't think they will ever be a favorite?  But they are a very cheap salad.  Always fresh, and can be produced in five to ten days.  It depends on how warm it is.  Was making them in the winter, so...

I just set up another batch yesterday, morning I think.  So need to put a third batch to go... Friday.  About every three days, for three batches, and see how consumption goes.  Really, can eat half to a whole tray for a side/snack or for nearly a meal.  Just add tuna, chicken, or something, stir in with vinegar and oil, or mayo, or... such.  

Well, we'll see how the day goes.  Best get to coffee, and then... then get the rest sorted.  Be well, stay at it, do what you can, then sleep like a baby?  It's... how I do it.  Good morning and day.  God speed, and duck, when it's coming too fast to run.  Otherwise run, jump, toward or away for what needs handled or avoided.  

The switch.

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He went ahead and put it in.  I just watched.  But I did watch.  Had a few questions.  Well, possible questions.  I pretty much knew, just checking.  And, it was the switch.  He hadn't brought a socket, which is fine.  He was thinking it might be a whole socket, in an enclosure.  And, while that could have been made to work, it is merely a ceramic (ish, these days) simple socket.  Still, all good.

Now I can go on to bed.  I didn't get much more done.  No shower, no north side in the kitchen, no more dishes.  The heat got up there, but a nap was out with him showing up when he could.  So... I just had to... sit through the heat of the day.  I couldn't get to work.

Not bad, though.  I did well, earlier.  And, will get more tomorrow, or tonight, or when I wake next.  It is 84 outside, and up front here.  I am going to try to stay awake until it gets to the mid 70s outdoors.  Then I can crack windows, and let it sort of cool, a bit, through the night.  It is 77 in the main and 84 here near the machine.  Getting close.  I sure wished it would be cooler, but knew it wouldn't be... not quite yet.

I'll check the litter boxes, and feed Sassy a bit more.  Then just browse the web until it's time to check again.  Would love to go on to bed.  But it's just... not time.  Later.

Okies.

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The house is closed up, and doing okay.  Beginning to warm, of course.  Still, not bad.  Especially with it being 91 outside.

I got everything downstairs.  Then did some sorting and storing.  I had thought carrots were not delivered, but couldn't... remember, or find, them.  I found two of them.  And received two more today.  Plus, put some things up, in an ordered fashion, which had been taken down before, but not put away.  Free space is becoming rare.  But I am almost done with stocking.  I would like to get wheat, of two types.  But... that will be in time.  Well, and keep up on what is being used.  As is, though, I am only using three or five cans a week, maximum.  Not flying off the shelf.

A light, in the back area, failed.  I think it is either the switch, or the socket, an open one, which has failed.  Because two lights further along, very likely in that line, still work.  So, I have asked someone to pick up those items.  I should have tested for electricity, but... too late now.  I'm not going to do that.  I'll just... replace, and hope.  I'll have to figure out which circuit it is on.  Bleh.  I hate that.

A few other things done.  Really not a bad day.  Though, now, to decide.  I will take my break down here.  Then, either hit things again, or go on for a nap.  Not bad.  I really am getting some things done.  It won't be perfect... when so-and-whositz stops in for a looksee, but it will be reasonable.  Or... better.  I really think I can get the counters cleaned today.  And, maybe, the bathroom tomorrow.  Plus a bit of clearing in the livingroom today and tomorrow, so vacuuming Thursday?  Maybe.

The upstairs really does look nice.  Mostly.  Still need to clear the tabletop.  And neaten the sewing area.  But the rest is pretty good, vacuumed, the bedding has been washed and aired out.  And, next week, I will probably take the sleeping mats, maybe the whole bed roll, out to air and refresh.  But it is in pretty good, pleasant, clean, shape.

I'm thinking a nap.  But I am hungry.  I may try the chops, and a pan of carrots.  Nothing fancy, but it works.  Later.

Break?

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That was the plan.  Then I... heard a vehicle.  I suspected it was UPS, but... who ever knows.  No doorbell, a few *thumps* and maybe a *womp*, first?  Then the engine, wheels turning, gone.  Check?  Check.  It was a delivery.

I first planned to just bring them in.  It's gotten to 87 out there, at 37% humidity.  I still have the house open, downstairs.  Upstairs is still shut and ac'ed.  The front room is 76 at 34% humidity... if the front door has been shut for ten... more like thirty minutes now.  I'll close the rest of the house up, too, actually... after this.

So, I did.  I got the packages in.  But... I... wanted to see what I got.  A carrying case, for the sewing machine, some 'bread tie' plastic or paper bound wires, to keep threads and their matching bobbins together, and a pattern.  I have purchased several patterns.  Some for practice, some for eventual actual use.  Vests.  I've always like gentrified vests.  But they are so expensive, if done well.  More so if fitted.  I like them with functional pockets.  As well, I want an inside pocket, for a pocket watch... with matching chain.  Yes, I do.  Those were gathered, and would be taken up, together, when next I went up, if I remembered.  Sometimes things languish for days.  Though, of late, I have been johnny on the spot.  Sure, a day or two off, but... even then I did okay.

Some foods arrived.  A pack of olives.  I already have a container for them, just needed the refill.  Only, it was a lot more than I anticipated.  All good, I got the olive container, with remaining and extra red wine vinegar brine, filled.  Then put the remnants into a gallon bag.  Purged that of air to within my and it's capacity, then sealed it again, in another bag.  Putting both groups into the fridge.  Olives are wonderful snacks.  Just a few ounces, a few times a week, though, or the salt will get you.  But brined in this way, refrigerated, they last a very long time.

Oh, but the carrots are still up here.  I'll get them down later.  Or... after this?  Sure, I had something else to do anyway, might as well do them both, then take my official break.

But, then I got most of the dry dishes put away.  Not all, just most.  And, if I didn't mention, did the dishes, one round, and reset.  With another load of relatively clean plastics... used for sprouting.  But, too, I reset another round of sprouts.  I am trying chia, as sprouts instead of breakfast gruel.  Curious how that works out.

As well, I got the flattop grill taken apart, packaged, and set to return.  Which, to be honest, was the heaviest work.  Not the most work?  Then again, each task was rather small, isolated, quick.  Only that one required any real muscle.  Still, glad to have that done.  That... was bothering me.  Strange how small our fears become, in the actual face of what we fear?  The only thing that hurt about that task was how easy it ended up given the fear I had going in.  Didn't let the fear dissuade me, but it did stress me from the time I realized it had to be done, right until I found the time and place to get it done.

Yes.  A... good little bit going.  Now I will put the carrots down, close up the house, consider a nap while I take a break.  Then, either go on up and nap, or take my break, and hit dishes and the north counters and cooktop.  Those are next, whether I nap or not.  Then bed platforms, and sorting in the livingroom.  Not a bad day.

Not great.

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I don't feel all that good.  No matter, I got a fatted coffee, some breakfast, then to work.  Catching up on the water jugs, while doing other things.

Sassy was fed, and her litter boxes cleared.  The dishes which were soaking were washed and reset, to soapy water again.  And, the sprout platforms which have been emptied for small meals and snacks, have been put in for their own singular wash.  I don't want to potentially get them greasy, from the other dishes.  Some things, like plastics and glass, if they are relatively actually clean, I just avoid contact with grease, oil, or other stuff.

Oh, and I cleared, cleaned, and reset the countertops on the east side of the kitchen, and the sinks.  Very happy with that part.  And, finally, a task that took far less time than I thought it would!  So rare, a divine treat.  It is still cool, at 73, right here by the computer, at 10:46?  Nice.  Though it is about time to shut things up.  It will warm after that.  All good.

Taking a break, but will then deal with the dishes on the freezertop, do the other dishes and put them out to dry.  Then clear, clean, and reset the counters and stovetop on the north side of the kitchen.  After that, I would like to get the grilltop broken down, reboxed, and in the Xterra, to return soon.  Tomorrow?  This week.  Then get a shower taken.  Washing the compression socks I had worn.  I have been wearing cotton underwear lately, so don't have any of the 'camping' underwear to wash.  Though I will probably go back to that, and the socks.  Why?  To practice, for if/when I get out there.

Even if I don't sell my house, I may end up renting it.  With a room saved for me.  Mostly for should I return, for medical, and else.  Not that... that will fall through, any more than sales will.  Just... keeping options open, just in case.  Or... keeping the possibility of options open.  Well, and, even if I close shop, that doesn't always lead to abandoning the shop completely.

Else today?  If I can get those things done?  Maybe a nap.  And, then, back to the kitchen.  Clearing the table.  Perhaps getting some of what is there to the basement.  Storing, sorting, tossing.  Right back to it.  Maybe some work in the bathroom.  Just bigger things being managed.  And, of course, the living room.  I would really like to rip into the living room and bedrooms.  boxes, bits, pieces, bed platforms... get things sorted, boxed, tossed, covered, neatened.  So that someone can look in and get a clean picture in their mind.

The outside, and some of this place, seems dated, ugly, old.  But some of it is exceedingly kempt, clean, modern, and squared.  It is an interesting mix.  But in good shape, with rough edges here and there.  The kitchen floor is the absolute worst.  But it is just appearances.  The flooring is not only good, it is solid.  It just needs covering... cheap or expensive.  It wouldn't take much to really make it good.  Though the kitchen wall, to the south, could likewise use some cosmetic upgrading.  However, the bones, belly, butt, and head of this place is very good.  Better than you could afford to buy to be built in modern times.  As a fact, they don't allow you to build this well these days.  Code isn't... what it seems, always.  It is socialism.  And, while it will lift the absolute nothing builds... for the majority, it merely equals out the misery.  It can go to safety, though even there, what you will find, is that much of what they are doing is merely making sure only union workers can even bid to do the work, elevating costs.  So... code has, or had, it's place.  Now it is just rent-seeking, elimination of competition, and such.  No good.

At least I got some of the work done.  And am almost sure I will get to more.  Plus, it is still pleasantly cool.  And was a wonderful night.  Oh, my mother suggested that she had a cool night, there, as well.  If, also, hotter days recently.  Well, it is summer.  I don't think we are technically complaining.  Just... making note, commiserating, but too, sharing the joys of a cool one.  Life is stories, as perceived, though not without the objective.  For the Godly.  Not that... being on His side means He is on your side, the way one might misconstrue it.

Can you be, remain, on His side, even when He says "No"?  Is this about you, or Him?  Or your place in His world, finding that place, and accepting it... even should it mean a continued life into pain, the loss of love, death?  Though, worst of all?  The drudgery of day after day, night after night, week after week, month after month, of occasional small and large failures, or even seemingly worse, a sinless boring existence.  It isn't sexy.  It isn't even difficult.  It just, sometimes, is quite boring.  Right until you fuck up and... have to try to find a way back into His graces, or on to hell.  So boring, until it is terrifying... if you take Him seriously.  I do, I do.

Well... on to the end of my break.  Then back to work.  Have a super day.

A rather cool morning.

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I woke just a bit after seven.  Slept very well, save getting cold and having to gather more blankets.  Three, though more might have been nice.  Too sleepy to get them on right, for a bit, which didn't help.  After a bit, I got enough coverage, of enough of this and that, to finally warm enough to drift further back on into a deeper sleep.  The cold nights, if I can figure out how to get warm, end up being the best sleeps.  Last night was no exception.

It was 70/73 upstairs, 71 in the main, 67 up front here at 30% humidity, and 51 at 63% humidity outside.  I don't think it has started warming, yet, but I can't be absolutely certain.  A bit cool, but refreshing after the last few days.

Oh, I can shower.  Well, I had other options, but...  Since all of my shampoo was stolen, I had to order new.  Just one, though.  It looks like, leave or go, I need to stop storing things.  They'll just steal them.  What else was stolen?  Shampoo and... oh, right, protein powder.  They only seem to take the plain stuff.  Or that is what they found.  I can't order more of that until next month, I'm too low on money.

Some things I almost have to order at least double on, because I use it enough.  But, I can change where I put them, or do other things to try to keep them.  When I can close up the house at night, that was helping.  It's part of why I wish to go.  If I should become an expat, I will only be taking four sets of clothes, shoes more than anything else, in triplicates, essentially.  Everything else will go to low gear.  If they wish to steal the dawn dish soap, or the dollar store hand soap, or the thin cheap towels, let them.  I'm not even sure I will have a computer, and my cellphone will be off, unless I am expecting, or making, a call.  And, just as often, when off, it will be in a faraday cage type device, on my person.  

Yes, there are flexible materials by which to make faraday cages... think of the copper, conducting, tape they use for making and repairing guitars.  An inside out quart and gallon or gallon and two gallon ziploc, wrapped on the inside out, out part, then turned right side, the phone in the smaller,, wrapped and zipped, then into the larger, right sided as well, as well, folded and zipped.  Check.

Today?  Today I need to get off my ass and get going.  As well, I'll call mom.  She has been a trooper, and called the last two times.  As well, in fairly sharp order.  Can't knock that.  I stopped calling my brother because he never called back.  I won't carry an unwanted relationship.  If he doesn't want it?  If he is too busy?  That... isn't my problem.  At some point, one has to realize they are unwanted, unnecessary, or worse.

The few dishes can be turned.  Then counters, cleared, cleaned... plus the sink... on the east side of the kitchen.  Then the north side and table.  Plus livingroom clearing.  And tearing down the bed stands.  No, I really need to hit it today.  Maybe even a start in on the oven.  Kitchen, I have decided, then living room.  The upstairs really is nice.

I am leaving the ac on upstairs.  Though, I suppose, I could turn on the alternate fan.  To give the regular fans a break.  And, I may take another fan up there.  Where it is it isn't doing much good.  But, upstairs, it would be an alternate to another weak fan that doesn't do much good, but enough.  Work, work, work, work, work.  That is the goal.  I sort of fell, for a few days.  Did some things?  Maybe not yesterday.  Today.  Today, and tomorrow, and through the week.  I really want the kitchen, bathroom, livingroom, and bedrooms opened and mostly cleaned, vacuumed, with boxes sorted.  I have until around August 1st, so... not a lot of time.  We will see.  But today is the day I am back on the case.

I got nothing.

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Nothing?  I just haven't been able to sleep, or get going, or... anything.  Watching y.t., mostly.  Though more research on cat food.  As mentioned, while I would like to make food for Sassy, I will need some on hand, for emergencies, travel, or what ever else could be a problem.  She seems to like this food, but that doesn't mean it is good for her.  Though I must be honest, most "health food", human or cat, isn't worth eating.  It will often cause problems as other things will be sought.

So, I have been looking at the options, beyond homemade feed.  There are some options out there I haven't even heard of.  I won't buy food from a vet.  It's the whole health food syndrome, though also the pricing schemes.  They tack on a couple hundred percent by their license.  They are getting as bad as regular doctors.  It's all about the money.  And, while I get that, there was a time where it was less about the money.  Odd that the more they get the more it is about money.

Alright?

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Still tinkering with the idea of making cat food.  Making?  How about... producing?  Using additives, and grinding meats... or having them ground.  Why?  Because I honestly do not trust most producers.  I don't trust the producers of human food, canned, for the most part.  Why would I trust them to make cat food?  As well, I have some hope of doing that, and better, for less.

Eating regular food at home, cooked from scratch, while a pita, is much cheaper.  Cheaper both than restaurants, even the "good ones", and processed easy foods.  That includes freeze dried foods.  Those are hard on your system, and usually carb-heavy.  So, done correctly, it may be the way to go.  Plus, I'll bet dollars to donuts, most health issues are animals have come directly from canned foods.

So?  So I have been looking.  There are meat grinders which can easily grind the bones of smaller critters, like chicken, rabbit, duck, turkey, and such.  Mouse, if you would be willing to raise them.  Though, to be honest, if I raised mice?  I would feed them to Sassy alive, and wriggling.  :)  I have thought about that, too.  Would only need live traps and attention to detail, most likely.  

Then again?  The mice seem to have disappeared.  Not... exactly sure why?  I did put mouse poison bait out in the outbuilding where I had been keeping rabbits.  And, at first, they didn't seem to go.  More, and more, and more.  Until, one day, no sign.  And, I haven't seen mice for... since early spring, mid winter?  Not out there, not in the house.  It's like it drew them in, to the poison, and... gone.  Even from the house.  So, I don't think I could catch a mouse, at this point.  But I could buy cages.  Enough for the breeding stock, and then two or three cages for the 'livestock'?  But how many mice would a cat eat, if a cat could eat mice?

Anyway.  Even if I do go for raw feeding, I will always have to have some canned on hand.  For emergencies, if I became ill, or couldn't get to the store, or even if the store stopped having availability.  things can shut down in a hurry.  Or, even a financial collapse, where money isn't available.  We are in very hard times.  But holding onto gold or silver is possibly more dangerous than having it in the bank.  But, look at what is happening in China.  Banks just stole their money.  The government is on the side of the banks.  Our government has already made it so that deposits aren't considered your money.  They are, technically, at this point, loans... to the bank... from you.  And, if the bank goes bankrupt, do you think you are first in line for any remuneration?  Wrong.  So... right... raw food?  Raw food.  I think it would be easier to maintain, and get the cat to hunt on her own as well, if things went bad.

There are many options.  The easiest one, if possible... not all butcher shops will do it, is to buy ground chicken.  Better with bone in, but there are options for boneless.  IF you can get inexpensive enough meat, there are additives which will fill that out.  Could do burger, but that is very expensive.  Pork is a bit spooky.  Wouldn't feed any animal ground pork.  Turkey is often pretty spendy too.  

The other option, that I see as possibly, is buying a grinder to grind less expensive meats myself.  And, it will handle chicken bones... and other small animal bones.  The least expensive I have seen is right at $400.  Though, even with that, I would still have to buy additives, just not as much/expensive.  Taurine, or some such, would be the main necessary.  Though livers, even finding livers can be tricky.  And those have to be added.  Mostly liver, though heart and gizzard, in with the meat grind, would be needed.  One powder handles both the needed bone, and adds what would be in the liver.  Another powder requires the maker to add those things, just has a few extra vitamins and taurine.

Expensive?  Both, upfront, yes.  To be honest, I am leaning toward the grinder.  It would be good form ore than just cat food.  Cheaper burger.  Lean as I want it.  The fats added could be made the more healthy fats.  And would be great for making sausages, without sugar, without this, without that... just... right spices and pure pork... the pork not too old, or off.  And casing I can trust.  Can't trust stores these days, or manufacturers.  Beside poisoning, they honestly hate us.

Just... thinking on things.  Trying to share thoughts.  If I could make more people more independent... from stores... from taxes... from things outside the family, right friends, and the church?  I would.  I will.  I do.  I have... problems.  But I don't support my own problems, just name them.  And... try to work around them.  If I do escape this jungle, for an honest one, I will be looking for a woman, with whom to have have children.  You don't have to be right, to do right.  Later.

Awake for a bit now.

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Sleep was good.  Can't remember when I went to bed, though I think it may have been an hour or two after even the last post.  Just couldn't sleep.  Or was it?

It actually did get cooler last night, down to 75 as a high.  Actually, I think it only got to 74.  More, I got cold.  I ended up with three blankets, and cramps because it was cold.

It was 55 outside this morning, but he house was pretty warm.  I have fans going, and the place opened up, for what little that is doing.  It just just staying warm, and getting warmer.  I can hope it will cool a bit, with everything open at the moment.  But... no surety.

Each day is a bit differently.  I don't know how long I will be awake, how hot it will get, or cool.  Those two things seem connected, though not always.  If it gets to the lower 90s or better higher 80s, there is a better chance the nights will get down to 50s, or at least low 60s.  No guarantee on anything, just... odds increase that a hotter day will lead to a hotter night.  So, yes, I pray for the high 80s, low 90s, clouds, rain, and any cooling possible.

I am befuddled as to why it isn't cooling this morning, though.  I had the back opened up.  Well, four of the back windows.  And, two fans going.  It was 86 in this front room this morning.  Oh... it... has started cooling, with the front door open, down to 78.  If that is still pretty warm.  It was 78 in the rest of the house, but is now... 75?  Actually it is saying this front room is to 75, just not near the computer and me.  Okay.  So it is cooling.  I left the upstairs buttoned up and with ac and fans.  I'll just have to leave that as is for the day.  Then again, I used to have to run it 24/7, and often have two of them running at a time, plus fans.  So... better.

I may do a very few things, then sleep through the late morning and into the afternoon, so I can be awake when it is cool.  While getting day back was good, it also kills any ability to work.  It's just too hot.  I merely slip through life, barely, and drift past sleep because I can no better be find sleep than I can work, in that mucky heat.  Too old.  Too ill.  But, I can do some work, if it is cool enough.

Oh, such strange dreams.  But they weren't mine.  I can... tell.  Geometric, yet humanly organic.  But, whoever it is absolutely refused to see himself.  Hit all other human natures, directly, in case it came back to them.  They hate what they look like, or how they function, or... something.  They aren't suicidal or anything, they just have aversion to their own appearance.  It seems to stifle their imagination of himself.  It's not like women, who fear they aren't sexy, until they fear they are, and have some love hate relationship with herself.  Men, especially certain types, just... aren't interested in themselves.  Holding more like a Monty Python, or Dali, view... of themselves and the world.  

I, at once, thought that was a mental illness.  But, now, I think it is just a certain mindscape that leads to that.  Now, I don't believe in modern psychology, but I do believe in psychology.  The mind works in ways, and those ways can be studied, used, and abused.  As well, there are more normal, and truly broken, ways of thinking.  And, there are majority and minority subsets of the various.  But paying someone hundreds of thousands of dollars, based on finding problems which they are supposed to fix?  Only, knowing, that paying someone a small fortune to fix an issue that doesn't affect anything is a sure way to create a neverending job, until the king realizes he wears no close, for which he has paid a fortune?  No.  Neither should you.  Modern psychology, as a profession, as with psychiatry, is a scam.  There is no definitive diagnostic which is universal.  And, even if there were, would it be created, or genuine.  They are too immature of a study to even begin trying to help people.

Well... on to... waking.  Later.

Even so.

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Oh, I wish.  In some ways.  Yam what yam, innit, though?

Very strange.

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I never did get to bed.  It was just... too cool.  Then... too warm?  No.  It never got too warm.  It is reading 84 in here, and I feel cool, almost cold.  I merely... sat... and... looked around.  Not much more to see.  I just couldn't remember to go on to bed.  Last few times I looked, the outside was 92... pretty much all day.  I kept expecting it to go up.  Nope.

There is some green, more green, in the back.  Though I am not sure that is grass.  Not seeing much up front.  Definitely not grass.  I'll water again in a few days, then again next Saturday.  Perhaps it will come back.  It is about bedtime.  Then again, it has been bedtime for... wow... since 08:00 this morning?  It's almost 17:00!  So it's been bedtime for nine hours.  Ha.

I'll get Sassy some food, check her litter, and actually grab a pale of fresh water and recharge that for here.  Though, really?  She doesn't drink much.  That was mostly Sam.  With here eating mostly wet food, canned cat food, she doesn't need much more water.  Still... when she needs it, she needs a lot of it from what I can tell.  Sam drank a quarter to an half of those dish pans of water every day to every other day.  Poor girl.  She might have been suffering, but she suffered well.  She just had to eat, drink, poop, and pee, like a voracious devil.  Sassy is in pretty good shape, for now.  Other than scratching cuts all over herself.  Though... she might be more emo, to Sam and my goth.  :p  Truff.

Hmm... went to get water, and... did some other things.  Then... time sure flies.

Later.

Sleep, soon.

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Eyes are dusted, or feel like it.  Just staying awake because I haven't been able to get up and go on to bed yet.  Working on it.

Since I am sitting here, there are a few things I have been meaning to investigate.  The first is making cat food from raw.  I'll be honest, I don't trust canned or kibble cat food.  Even their treats.  The last time I looked, the videos were not very good.  Seemed off.  Most of the ones I have seen are selling something.  Yes, even the one I am going to show.  Though there is an indication of what you could use, otherwise, it isn't fully covered.  Then again, getting the meat ground, with bone and organ?  However, how would you know if you didn't do it.  And, yes, companies, even here in America, will cheat you.  Not saying this one does.  Haven't looked closer than this video.

Nice.

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It took all night, but... I don't mind that, mostly.  I wish I could have gotten other things done.  Still, one thing, and important thing, was done.  The lawn was looking really rough.  I'm not sure this will allow it to recover, at this point.  Will find out.  Will have to keep up on watering, though, for certain.

I hit two different areas up front and in back.  And moved the sprinklers to where they won't be just sitting out in the sun.  I couldn't get every part of the lawn, but that will happen over time.  Next time I will be able to hit the areas that were missed, then decide which of the other two zones to hit, depending on how green things look, and where.

I had most of the cave closed up by the time I was finished watering, which was just shortly after dawn.  I left the upstairs and a back window open.  Just... for a bit more air.  It got down, the lowest I saw it, to 54 to 56... somewhere in there.  Though it might have gotten cooler.  Upstairs only ever got down to 73/75.  Still, it had been 77/78, so... Now it is all closed up, and the ac is on upstairs.

I have something to do tomorrow.  But I'll take today off, mostly.  I enjoy taking Saturdays off.  Especially with something going on tomorrow.  I'll try to get a shower in, get cleaned up, shave this evening, sleep as wanted or needed.  Just... enjoy today.  Though, if I can get to a few chores, tasks, jobs, I will.  Nothing fancy, probably.

If I don't nap, which I think I am going to, I may attempt to patch the driveway.  Of course, I'll have to sweep, and take out weeds in the cracks, and clear it out and down.  I might just get that done, and do the work tomorrow?  Who knows.  But to get it all done today would be good.  Dishes too.  I should check laundry.  Nothing in the wash, but should make sure the dryer has dried the close.

Sassy has been fed, her litter cleared.  Her water is still fresh, but may be reset today, no matter.  She got out last night, and almost got left out.  I couldn't find her, and she wouldn't come to my calls for about an hour.  Two?  Three?  Something more like those last two.  Then I heard her, but couldn't tell where she was.  Yep, she had gotten out, and... I don't know.  I called her, when I was going in.  Usually she is janey on the spot, when I call.  She is afraid to be out there, alone.  Maybe she wasn't alone?  Or, maybe, she was hunting something.  Sam was a sort of dubious mom, but... she did teach Sassy the gentile ways of mouse desecration.  And... probably a few other things.  Sam absolutely loved fresh meat, of many sorts.  :)

It was up to 66, last I looked.  Probably a bit higher by now.  I sure am thinking a nap, or back to bed whole cloth, would be good.  It's a matter of getting up, and then up there.  Hungry.  Just... not... hungry enough.  Actually, hanging on hunger.  I'll... get on to bed shortly. 

Just about to start the back yard.

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So very tired.  Still, I think I can finish up.  I might have to run a bit past sunup, but that should be fine.  It takes the sun a while to get up, going, and to hit that area anyway.  So very tired though.  I won't make it much longer.  Or, I should say, I'll just finish watering, before needing to crash again.

It looks like the temp went up a few degrees, from 61 to 63.  Very strange.  But, I suppose that happens from time to time.  A rare thing, but obviously it does happen.

I did check upstairs.  Last I checked, it was 77 in both areas.  Which is very strange.  I turned one of the fans back on, which I turned off when opening things up.  I'll check again, shortly.  If it has cooled, I will shut that fan off again.  So odd.  That I have never seen before.  Not sure why it would remain that warm.  Especially with downstairs being 74/74/75 with no fans running.

I have been viewing sewing vids, and vids on Cambodia, Vietnam, and will be looking at some for South America.  The two southern most South American countries seem to be open for travel.  Not sure I could get to that part of Asia, as I would have to travel through airports openly, still, hostile to the unvaxxed.  Canada, still, is one of those nations.  Surprisingly, given that the US no longer requires it.  I suppose illegals aren't required to get vaxxed?

Well, on to change the watering scheme.  Later. 

That's slick.

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I finally decided that not only am I awake, it was time to get to watering.  So, out I went.  I get them positioned, and going.  But... one of them wasn't flowing.  The second one out.  Which... was fine.  It game me space to tinker.  I get the first one set up, learned how to shut it off, and shut the second one off.

Then I got to the second one.  A filter... full, and too tight of a mesh.  I simply removed it.  I did have to shut it off.  Thankfully.  If I wouldn't have needed to, then it would have been a blockage in the hose.  I suppose I do have extra hoses, but... getting down to the last of them.  A number of them are going into the trash.

As mentioned, it was just a filter, at the inlet to the sprinkler.  No choice but to remove it.  Though I may have others around, and may eventually replace it.  But, being the second sprinkler on the line, anything bad in the water will be caught by the first sprinkler.

I will let these run for a bit.  Then move them for a second area each.  Then get the backyard one going, and move it to a second place as well.  Then move the sprinklers to where the shade will be, during the day.  No good reason to bake them.  It sure needed it.  Hopefully it'll perk up before long?

When I woke, as written, it was 70 to 72.  Warm and bleh.  I was a bit surprised that, at 02:30, when I went out to begin, checking the temp along the way, it was 61, or... 60 to 62.  Nice.  Actually rather comfortable, and pleasing.  So tired of the mid to upper 70s, at best.  Wait, it's only been a few days.  Oh well.  As I was saying, sure tired of the mid 70s or higher!

And, it was good, working out in that.  I was whistling whilst I worked.  Right until that first shower.  What's the Japanese word for that?  Ah.  Nippon.  Those and goosebumps.  God definitely has a sense of humor.  Anyway... I'll keep at it.  I have an alarm set, if I can just hear it.  With all the fans, it's... difficult to hear.  

I'll do what I can.  Though, keeping track of what time I need to change things over might help.  Ugh, four.  Then... not sure there is enough time, unless I hit those switches exactly.  I don't want to water during daylight, and that is coming quickly.  Might do shorter waterings?  Bleh.  At least it is, finally, set up and running.  So, it will get watered twice a week.  Hmm... Tuesdays and Saturdays?  Give or take.

It just got to 76, in here, by the machine.  It seems as if 77 and higher is when I have problems.  It is just the degree too far... for sleeping, or being awake.  Last year it was around 73.. or the year before?  Before then, it was 70, sometimes 68, when I started having trouble.  I remember when, with both ac's on upstairs, I could get it to 73, but that was too warm.  I am handling heat better.  Better each year.  It must be medicine.  

Oh, and crazy, but I am already dry!  Not nylon/synthetic shorts, either.  Cotton, and t-shirt.  Very strange.  Later.