Awake for a bit now.

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Sleep was good.  Can't remember when I went to bed, though I think it may have been an hour or two after even the last post.  Just couldn't sleep.  Or was it?

It actually did get cooler last night, down to 75 as a high.  Actually, I think it only got to 74.  More, I got cold.  I ended up with three blankets, and cramps because it was cold.

It was 55 outside this morning, but he house was pretty warm.  I have fans going, and the place opened up, for what little that is doing.  It just just staying warm, and getting warmer.  I can hope it will cool a bit, with everything open at the moment.  But... no surety.

Each day is a bit differently.  I don't know how long I will be awake, how hot it will get, or cool.  Those two things seem connected, though not always.  If it gets to the lower 90s or better higher 80s, there is a better chance the nights will get down to 50s, or at least low 60s.  No guarantee on anything, just... odds increase that a hotter day will lead to a hotter night.  So, yes, I pray for the high 80s, low 90s, clouds, rain, and any cooling possible.

I am befuddled as to why it isn't cooling this morning, though.  I had the back opened up.  Well, four of the back windows.  And, two fans going.  It was 86 in this front room this morning.  Oh... it... has started cooling, with the front door open, down to 78.  If that is still pretty warm.  It was 78 in the rest of the house, but is now... 75?  Actually it is saying this front room is to 75, just not near the computer and me.  Okay.  So it is cooling.  I left the upstairs buttoned up and with ac and fans.  I'll just have to leave that as is for the day.  Then again, I used to have to run it 24/7, and often have two of them running at a time, plus fans.  So... better.

I may do a very few things, then sleep through the late morning and into the afternoon, so I can be awake when it is cool.  While getting day back was good, it also kills any ability to work.  It's just too hot.  I merely slip through life, barely, and drift past sleep because I can no better be find sleep than I can work, in that mucky heat.  Too old.  Too ill.  But, I can do some work, if it is cool enough.

Oh, such strange dreams.  But they weren't mine.  I can... tell.  Geometric, yet humanly organic.  But, whoever it is absolutely refused to see himself.  Hit all other human natures, directly, in case it came back to them.  They hate what they look like, or how they function, or... something.  They aren't suicidal or anything, they just have aversion to their own appearance.  It seems to stifle their imagination of himself.  It's not like women, who fear they aren't sexy, until they fear they are, and have some love hate relationship with herself.  Men, especially certain types, just... aren't interested in themselves.  Holding more like a Monty Python, or Dali, view... of themselves and the world.  

I, at once, thought that was a mental illness.  But, now, I think it is just a certain mindscape that leads to that.  Now, I don't believe in modern psychology, but I do believe in psychology.  The mind works in ways, and those ways can be studied, used, and abused.  As well, there are more normal, and truly broken, ways of thinking.  And, there are majority and minority subsets of the various.  But paying someone hundreds of thousands of dollars, based on finding problems which they are supposed to fix?  Only, knowing, that paying someone a small fortune to fix an issue that doesn't affect anything is a sure way to create a neverending job, until the king realizes he wears no close, for which he has paid a fortune?  No.  Neither should you.  Modern psychology, as a profession, as with psychiatry, is a scam.  There is no definitive diagnostic which is universal.  And, even if there were, would it be created, or genuine.  They are too immature of a study to even begin trying to help people.

Well... on to... waking.  Later.

Oh, had to laugh.  Kept popping.  Not sure, but I... grabbed it.  Had to laugh.  Was getting some negs, too.  Which... also made me laugh.  Friend, frienemy, enemy, man, woman... even so...  I don't care if you hate.  There is probably some space around, even if you think I'm just a giant dirty rat.  Seriously.  You think you are the only one who hates me, yet sticks around?  Join the club.

Had to laugh, and again.