Better? Oh, one may hope.

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The senses can, do, betray.  I seem to be doing better.  The pains through and after sleep have dissipated, mostly.  If, true, the body isn't being tested.  Even so there is a sense of haleness, restored vigor, clarity of mind, and the comforts of virtues.  Sleeping a full session for the first time in a while, from well before logging.  That helped but is not all, probably not most, of it.

While feeling better is good it isn't all, or the majority, proof.  Actions, functions, works, these are the real trial.  Not sure I am ready for that and yet it is scheduled.  Though my time draws short, a shower and trim or shave, a load of laundry including bedding change through, and at least a start on dishes.  I won't worry about kitchen catch up until the next work time unless... maybe... just won't push it.  Actually my time shouldn't be growing short, save that life is off?  Yeah.

I have been tumbling so desperately through time sleep pain and else...  Still, amazed to have made the schedule item then appointment.  Trapeze bars from the dark, with jarringly few moments to catch let alone see, while falling and spinning on all axis, to catch not one but two bars.  Then I had to let go.  Still out of control, if, perhaps, finding or found some footing?  No, you don't understand.  I'll know more after what of work occurs, much more after the next sleep.

Awake.

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Not the best sleep.  If the sun wasn't out it sure seemed bright. Not that it seemed to wake me, just a sense I got while waking.  As well it seemed rather warm.  Even with the fan on.  I bet it was in the mid 50's.  Part of why I disfavor sleeping during the day, often.  Woke in the late 16:00's but tried to sleep more, finally seeing no point to the attempt so crawling out at the mid 17:00's.  Just time stamping sleep and waking to get some grasp of what is happening.  It's rather out of control at the moment.  Crawled back in the coffin... fell more like it.  Now to figure my way back out.

Started having erotic dreams.  Said a few "Hail Mary" prayers, though whether in the dream or partly awake I can't say.  Took care of the problem.  Very odd though.  Didn't know such could be done in such a diminished state of consciousness.  Who knew.

Later.

Back to bed.

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Should have gone to bed earlier.  Could have probably.  Just got tangled in a few things.  Now, at 6:21, it will do.  Good night, morning, and day.

Double log post.

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Down like a rock in the deep blue at 22:30.  I was carefull to study the time.  Knew I wouldn't remember the exact time, can't remember if it was before or after.  I was falling so hard I was just hoping this small data would be stored.  Tunnel vision, narrowing at a seeming exponential rate until it slammed shut so hard and fast I woke with a minor headache.

Up with a start, if not of the doings of my body or mind.  MOO!  What in the heck?  A dream.  MOO!  Wow, that... sure sounded close.  No trouble save we have a fast road out front.  Almost, or things were shaping up for, a bad accident at one time.  Anyway, I was just about to call the other neighbor.  Did not want to go out.  Then thought better of it, so went cattle hunting.

Loud as it was, it surely was right outside, sounding to be feet, not yards, away.  After short walks from my porch in all directions possible, I finally had to go further, then much further. Cattle can move a good clip, and it was just sounding off every ten minutes.  Further and further, until it bawled again.  While outside I could track the sound back.  No, not close, back over off toward pens, I believe.  It is just such a clear night?  Sound enhancing air qualifies?  Good thing I didn't wake other neighbor.

Now to see about going back to sleep.  Cattle calls aren't so much a problem if I don't think they are in the road.  Probably.  I'll post if I can before crashing.  I do wonder if anyone else woke with that concern.  While that'll get things pumping, stepping out to potentially face off with a, or several, unknown bovine(s), armed only with a flashlight and spit, which I was running out of, that got me a juice sandwich.  Though the thought of fresh meat should things go wrong was comforting.  Not sure if that means I am an optimist, a beastly sort, or... just a bit too hungry.  Later.

Just thinking out loud.

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Yes, they cross my mind from time to time.

Fast note.

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Up!  Actually about an half hour ago.  Took a shower immediately.  Remember that saying, about it being easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission?  Yeah, true even of God?  Yep.  Why ask when you know the answer won't be what you wish?  Ah, that.  Simple, stuck right dab between temptation and a powerful want to do His will.  Needed a divine veto.  Worked out better than anticipated.

Awake at 15:15 give or take ten?  As close as I can guess.  Weighed in at 263.  Expected gains, if more.  Bad eats and crippling exhaustion make for weight gain, if I can't figure out how so little was added.  That is like missing a water pill or three several... wait, actually I have.  So, no actual weight gain.  I'll get right back on meds.  Ugh.

Later.

A note for the log.

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I can't be sure sleep is possible.  It would be good.  I feel both need and want.  A bit before 7:00, so awake for about six hours.  Giving it a try if there are doubts.  Later.

Prayer and other thoughts.

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As prayer life increases thoughts regarding prayer grow.  Subjects, to include literally how and what to pray, why to pray, whom and through whom to pray, and what prayers to pray or how to better formulate prayers... almost overwhelming considerations... all join to begin a learning process.

I tell you truly there are well raised young ones who do better, if all incentives hold.  Instinct from habit, nonjudgmental acceptance, a type of innocence, a state of humility due to their current stage in life, and other things develop a superior ability.  I can't even recall all of the stages for a full prayer.  Humility in acknowledging the presence and greatness of God, a contrite gratitude for the forgiveness offered by God, simple yet profound gratitude to God for life creation and all, and a purpose for or with the prayer? Well, I prefer to include these things for each of the Trinity.  Still not sure I have that right.  More or less time for any area, time allowing.  Though not always is a full prayer the way.  A simple blessing, or prayer of concern, requested or not, and simple prayers for travel or this or that.

Now I learn there are as many as nine stages of prayer?  Well... what.  Oh, and I am only on stage one, maybe two or touching into three but not well?  If it weren't for some notions, including that the information comes from digging toward the goal, the ego could take a serious dent.  Still does, just not a sting which paralizes.  Oh, but it does lead me to mystics.  *le sighe*

The last part of praying to discuss is a major aspect I have been missing, requests, for self.  Hmm, pray for yourself, I used to question?  What do you need, if health and one other grant, are not happening?  Yes, simplistic, too simplistic.  What indeed!  Humility, to top the list though with patience prudence and others piling up, and with even wiser calls for faith hope and charity needed more seriously and soon.  It isn't that the prayers need to be either or.  I mean, I can pray for the health of one or many, the right intentions of the church, for the health wisdom and graces of priests nuns and the others, AND for strength in my weaknesses.

Yeah, so many prayers not being fully utilized.  Still, better to start now.  What good are prayers?  I can't say that I have seen a miracle from such.  I simply believe this to be true.    I don't count my life, for various reasons, including, if wrongly, I didn't pray to keep it, quite the contrary.  Although, one could say God acted, on my better behalf, through prayers?  I could easily abide that.  Miraculous if in an extremely convoluted way.  If it, I suspect, is the way of God's will very often.  His will, not ours.  Even should we pray contrary to His will, by praying to God we open ourselves, subject ourselves, to His will?  Yeah, I think so.

I think this will help.

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Logging my waking and sleep times, that is.  I may not be able to do much, though less without information.  About four hours down, waking fully at 1:15.  I nearly woke an hour ago.  Was able to park it for an extra hour.  The second waking was non-negotiable.  Just a sleep log.

Back to bed.

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Hours of mostly nothing. Blog to news to music sites, a show in bits and parts, dinner.  Nothing else.  Too tired.  On back to bed.  Just posting to note the time, 21:21.  Good night.

Okay. Note to self.

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Skipping through hours and days wrecks schedules for a while.  Actually thing are so messed up currently that no grasp or hold on uniformity by which a grasp could be ascertained exists or even could.  Hmm?  I mean, my sleep is happening in two to five hour batches.  I can't seem to track waking hours as I crash well before being able to actually sleep.  I am tumbling through time and days as an aerial acrobat who lost the bar.  I'll... have to hit, figure things out from there.  No idea when I will hit.  Have one more hoop shortly then one in a few weeks.

The note to self is, for the future, if again, this way doesn't work well.  It doesn't help regain a day schedule.  And it's a messy way to hit appointments.  However, if all else fails... as it had... it does develop an opportunity for the seemingly impossible if for a hefty fee.  Literal psychic confusion, nausea, exhaustion or enhanced exhaustion, and a complete loss of connection with time and place.

Still amazed it worked.  Was sort of working it anyway, just to obtain packages.  Adding on, this time, further for another objective, really titrated the price, by the minute. Had to be done.  Am still amazed.

I thought it was 11:00 when I woke.  Not so much, was 14:30, give or take a few.  Must have examined the clock earlier, while rolling back to sleep.  Sleep is rather good.  Not great, but not that horrible sleep which offers no rest, akin to attempting to slake thirst by drinking sand.  No, not bad.  More sleep and deeper, unbroken, sleep would be helpful.  If not, I'll get back to it as is, just at a slower pace.  Even it deteriorates, I can do that too.  Living this close to death has taught a patience, in some areas, which few can know.  Later.

Up a couple hours.

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Went to sleep in the neighborhood of 17:00, maybe plus an half.  Down hard, fast, waking every two hours for bio.  No clue why, didn't make sense with the inputs involved.  Then woke after five hours down and two wakes.  Beer.  Told the psychopathogen I only consume a snifter of bourbon, scotch, or whisky three times a month, max... now that heart medicine is actually helping, save on a blue moon or every third, when a triple shot of the stuff seems required.

True.  Haven't had a beer in... a year, two?  Carbs.  However, in my current state of broken ketosis, while shopping, and after the psychopathogen, beer sounded good.  Well, and thirsty as a dog.  No fluid with, need to remember to have a jug of tea ready to go.  I mean, at the store, I grabbed beer. Not the three cases I used to nab, just a twelve pack.  Two before sleep, four after.  Maybe back to bed soon, if beer has nothing to do with it.  Not sure I like beer, or more than two at a time.  Still, good to know.  A bite to eat while deciding if it is realy bedtime.

Zapped but good.

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Got everything hoped done, plus interest.  Later to the post than hoped, but well within the lines.  Other than being a bit off the rez from being so tired.  Naps and other manipulations allowed me to be up and out in spite of seeing my shadow, if my body and mind weren't the happiest about it.  Then on to the doc.  No time for the side trips and good thing, as it wasn't where I thought.  Sure I wrote the address, then promptly lost the note.  Always tired, add sleep contortions and it goes downhill quickly.

I tried to get instructions, did take the address, had little hope, on the phone (glad I decided to take the phone this time).  Pulled right in, if only intending to turn around and call again.  Nope, I was there.  The appointment was a lot less stressful than I had anticipated.  I followed along, then offered a shortcut, if he was interested.  I laid it out as well as I knew how, being as honest as my understandings.  Went fairly well.  I think.

Then the drill was returned , a few groceries were bought, and a meal was had.  Man am I tired.  Just a bit of time to climb down off the walls then off to bed.  Wow am I tired.  Good night.

Do you ever realize the fix is in?

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It doesn't matter which area, sometimes everything boils down to something(s), wanted or not.  In this case decidedly not.  A couple of particular saints keep populating areas of spiritual concern which...  I don't wish to entertain yet know I must.  Annoying in more ways than I can help you understand.  Trapped by my own incessant digging, accelerating greatly of late.

I'll not dispense with their names, merely suggesting they are mystics.  Already questioned in some ways, that is a bit frustrating. Of course, there are simple explanations, as well as the obviously not so simple basis.  Who would ever want to walk the way of mysticism?  It is the way of ridicule, which offers humility.  See, one of the mundane reasons, if tracked back from that other dark edge.  Mystics simply... have dubious reputations, even after bonafied.

Ah, but... in dealing with an order mistake, a few more inexpensive books.  Each covering three concepts my study has called for more understanding.  Not what I always might want, more areas of need, some might suggest desperate need... humility as a prime example.  Now, I do not abide total self debasement.  Fuller understanding before God?  Absolutely.  But suggesting I am nothing before Him is telling Him He does lousy work, for one of many problems.  I... don't always think all teachers get it right.  Pay attention but don't blindly jump off a cliff just because some says God wants you to jump.  He doesn't.  I think some miss the point of some alternate, indirect, forms of instruction and are then never directly corrected.  Psychology and philosophy seem to make up far too much of some education, and not the better forms of such.

A nap with a call to wake and inform.

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The appointment is the first of two.  Neither will be on my tab.  I would skip this one if possible. It is a bogus one with the fake medical branch. To suggest it will be frosty would be generous.  The evil those people commit for their silver even Christ laments.  Zero ability between one and the next to diagnose, no ability to treat, not a science which also means it isn't a medicine.  On the good side that gives me two weeks to get back on my fast... I've... gone a bit rogue, eating, if more drinking, the wrong things.  Soda, went with the pizza, neither of which... never mind.  I'll call it a foolish choice, finish, write it off, and not repeat or in this volume.  *urpp*  Ugh.

The alarm, from my second nap was two minutes from going off, so all good.  Now to shower then get to the post.  At tip of the top, I have two hours and twelve minutes.  I have no intention of taking that much time, perhaps an hour to be ready and out the door?  That is the plan.

Sure glad I was given the heads up that it was just a quack I was being forced to see today.  Would not have been a happy surprise for either of us.  Evil son of a...  When I was ever evil I didn't lie about it.  Didn't need to, sad to be a slithering, as required by weakness I guess.

Just a bit of time to wake.  Looks like it will work out.  Later.

A perfect nap.

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I was quite late in getting to it.  Not so much just an inability to sleep, but with the hope of a notion.  The hope that if I held out for an extra long time perhaps sleep would be extra long, at least compared to a nap, though maybe longer as a full sleep or longer yet.  No such luck.  However, when rest is so good, no pain before, during, or after, and a sense of being rested from said, despite not getting even the least of my extra wishes, I cannot be dissatisfied.  Perhaps another nap after some work?  Perhaps.

Other than the minor efforts, I need to get to the post plus make the appointment.  That is going to be tricky, but not impossible, more possible with a nap or two if  those are possible.  Ugh.  An early trip to the post would really help the odds... probably.  I cannot always know.  I'll pray and hope while acting honestly as I may.

Always more, and surprises.

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The surprise.  A text message.  An appointment at my usual doctor's clinic but not with him?  Hmm.  Not happy, still I keep my cool, call in.  Social Security arranged it, if from what I have seen didn't inform me.  I could have missed something though.  Don't know if I have to pay yet.  Called the contact on the ssa side, to no success, left a message.

Then on to bill paying.  The first one, I thought $75 and this month was due.  Instead I was informed I have a $6 and change credit?  Okay.  Finally mortgage was paid.  I will check on that as I paid last month, with money in the bank, but it didn't go through.  In one sense it doesn't matter, in another sense it really does.  From now on I have to check until it goes through or it becomes obvious it won't, then handle it.

After several broken operations with various companies I am beginning to realize they break things, to force unneeded contacts, so they can sell my contact information to the bogus callers... the ones offering 'vacation packages', 'debt payments', and other junk.  Any contact gives them the ability to sell your data for three to six months.  Make that illegal, with $10k per contact, for the info seller and buyer, plus up to 5 years in prison, sequential, per contact.  A few hits would end it.  Laws are stupid.  But having no laws is worse.  If you have laws, but can't or won't enforce them, get rid of them.

Finally, just in time, I called my mom.  It sounds like she is doing better.  Perhaps a bit lonely.  Or maybe just tired.  Being a widow is a tough gig.  He little dog helps, but life is difficult alone, far more for dames, just is.  I'll keep her in more of my prayers.  Not much else I can do.

Work?  I'll get to it.  I am almost sure I will get caught up, if maybe a nap first.  Just that mix of calls wore me out.  Later.

Just waking.

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While sleep seemed pleasant, waking at this time isn't.  I can't be sure when I finally went to bed if I suspect it was much after my last post?  Further, I thought it would be a nap, perhaps a long nap.  As it happens it ended as not just a sleep but an extended one!  How am I supposed to schedule something when nothing works as it should?  There is some hope that if everything keeps working as it isn't planned, and against my will, intent, it will work out.  Yeah.  While seemingly extremely unlikely you would be amazed how often that truly works out.  Exactly so.

Today?  Waking.  Shower and shave.  Bills.  Then setting up dishes and pushing them through plus wiping surfaces in the kitchen while finally completely clearing the table top and doing a bit more in the kitchen nook.  While I don't think I can do  a great deal, if I can fully catch up AND do a bit more, without adding to the mess, then I will be clear and more.  Further, the rest of the work this week, little or much, is all on the plus side.  Sometimes that adds incentives to the efforts.

Oh, part of the problem?  Relative heat, it is or was raining all night!  Raining in January? It's a terrifying prospect hereabouts, should it snap freeze I could only imagine the ice problem.  Raining?  All night?  But that also means it is or was well above freezing, which does throw my ability to sleep off.  I really need a freezer compartment add-on, to sleep within.  Hmm, I wonder how much?  Seriously.  Could use it for other things, as well, you know.

Later.

Crash landing.

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A crash of the best sort.  After that final bit of laundry, and collecting every dirty dish and else onto one counter, ready to be soaked for the first wash after my shower after I finish waking, if with eyes dried as if I had been tearing sand, sleep happened so fast and hard it was as if a switch was flicked and the universe landed on me.  *click*  Absolutely beautiful, as sleep should be.  If I could force that much work out of myself to such ends... hmm... then again, even often when nothing is done, I have done that, often.  Sometimes just being alive is that much work, netting similar results.

And sleep was as deep as it was instant.  When the lights went out they stayed out.  That black box of dark gooey wonderful nothing was fantastic if a bit short.  Didn't wake rough for it though.  No pain or fog, if... I may go back to sleep shortly.  May have been the 60/40/20 volt 3/6/9 ah flex batteries delivery which woke me?  Possible, even if an hour or two later... if my mind hears something, but can't immediately wake me?  It creates a message on a feedback loop.  While nothing was due today, when I woke I knew to check.  Those batteries will keep the table saw, recip saw, and drills in their most stressing tasks at full propably to overheating before running out of power.  Adds a ton of weight, but well wort it.  The 20v(18, actually) 3ah batteries which came with the kit will do most jobs.  I may even purchase 1.5ah batteries so everything, if needed, could be powered at once.  Not for six months or more, need to recharge finances, toolwise to be sure!  Ugh.

Anyway, yeah, maybe back to bed.  Sleep was rather short.  While I seem quite able to push into new hours while trying to push my schedule into daytime, pushing my wake time is a serious limit, has some sort of serious cap as to how much it can be adjusted, and how quickly.  Usually I can't go back to sleep.  This may be a bonus for pushing to sand tears yesterday... if it works.  Hmm?  Well, good night, again, I hope.

Awake until my eyes burn.

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But not without purpose on top of reason.  The dishes are finally done!  Ugh but I hate washing dirty dishes just shy of the objects of art themselves.  As well, I do believe laundry, which has all been dried, will be folded or hung, with the small start to the next load(s) going back.  The nice thing about changing bed linens as regularly as possible is that it reminds to do else laundry.  Heck, I haven't run out of... any clothes since I started this new schtick!

The other thing about staying up is it is opening the way to make it to the post Wednesday... hopefully.  Far too... not today, probably not tomorrow.  Flaggation has limits, which is stretched to well into pain as is.  Perhaps too far.  Besides, the next, and perhaps last batch arrives Wednesday.  I don't think I can juggle and make two pushes on the same schedule obverse.  After which I'll take some serious downtime.  As to snowshoeing?  I don't consider that spit of snow an actual snow.

Not bad if it is seriously uncomfortable pushing this far.  Not just the good kind, but heading, or really well into the bad kind.  But I am stuck, like a dog with it's teeth and jaws buried too deeply into the rag toy.  How to stop!?!  No worries, probably.  Good night, morning, and day.
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Done.  Watched a show while letting the house, my body, and the bedroom cool.  I am looking forward to a shower when I  wake, then setting up a very minor batch of dishes while finishing the kitchen.  Then no cooking for a while.  Could grill, outside, though.  Ugh.  Other than pushing my day back around, that's it until Wednesday.  Pftftfta but I am tired.

More, and more yet.

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Well, certainty can never be owned.  I have food to digest.  I am wearying.  And yet I have confidence... feedback from a particular prayer.  A rare, very rare, thing.  I wasn't asking to do more, if that was back there, separate from the prayer.  The notion wasn't being excluded purposefully, it was a different tangent.  I was merely offering what had been done, and what might further be done, to His glory, and being thankful for the opportunity.  I got a sense that more would be done.

I am sure my prayers must seem odd, even to others who pray.  Since most who read here don't know me personally, even some who might presume, I don't mind discussing my prayers, by the way.  Not bragging, how can a humble grateful supplicant have pride in submissive offerings?  Anyway, so, I received what seemed as a divine allowance.  Joyful at the time, but with a bit full of a belly now?  :p  Oh, I'll see to my side of the promise.  :)

Ah, something else.  Beside rosaries, chaplets, and such, I have been researching other books and slowly purchasing them.  The last book was distinctly not what I had hoped, turning out instead into exactly what I may have far more greatly needed... a more sure path to Masses!  It's complicated, if also not.

I had misunderstood the book to be a list of prayers used in mass.  I often feel lost in mass.  I was hoping to clear that up.  No problem, I have missals arriving, in various forms.  Initially I considered returning this book, but... while in hand I decided to examine just what it was that I did hold.  Hmm...  The title, a seeming perplexing, or mundane sounding, or... "A Prayer Book for Eucharistic Adoration".  Hmm...  So...  A bit of examination, then, of course.  Must be foggy, though while intellectually familiar, much of this is mechanically new.  I have never done some of this.  The rosary is still really new!

What this is, for hopefully just non-Catholics though, well, I guess as a noob I shouldn't harsh any mellows, is a book of prayers to be said in the chapel where the Eucharist parts are held.  Explaining further is not easily within my vocabulary, may have strayed as is.  The thing is Catholicism teaches, and I abide, that Transubstantiation occurs when the bread and wine are blessed, that these become the body and blood of Christ.  As such, they are kept in a special container, which has it's own area, chapel, for adoration before or after Mass.  I understand these things, I just don't have the words at full command, and perhaps not every last exact detail.

Well, okay Doom(ster), you might ask, how does that help?  Ah, key words "before Mass".  The addorations often occur an hour before mass.  But being a little late or early isn't a problem.  As with libraries, just enter quietly, respectfully.  Silly me, I was invited to this but did not understand and in my straight bullish if unintending nature flustered the bird so she didn't fully reach out and explain.  So sad, though things in their time?  Oh, and should I be very late, usually I might still be in time for Mass.  See?

Why all these seeming games?  Because time doesn't work the same for us, or even the internal and external me.  Inside, time ticks by as if moments were decades, a day as a thousand years. Outside, however, when I target a time, date, and place and... so often I set in my daily eternity watching the appointment approach and then depart with no ability to even call in, IF I even happen to notice.  Autistic of some sort, in some way, or... something.  So... this could improve odds.  Some days I just can't act, or won't remember.  On the days I can understand and function, this.  I am keeping the book.

On a side note, much of what was ordered was held up a long bit.  I really wonder about things.  I do believe the blessed rosaries will show back up, if most likely not until after I have a pile of blessed rosaries and a few other things ordered.  Yeah.  I... think just so.  It will get fixed.  That one and the help can get smart but won't win out.  Later.

I recently viewed this but even then didn't get it.  When going in the right direction, not just when in hell, keep going.  How strange how things pile up, and on, when seeking after being called to grace.  It IS exciting.  Amen.

A mild start.

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Dishes, a shower, cats fed, their water system checked and filled, plus a bite.  Laundry shouldn't be a problem.  As to food?  It would have to be easy, not fast.  I think the only fast food would be McDonalds, which fell below even my standards.  Food shouldn't have the scent of the dead.  I still like, or liked, their fries, if even those had fallen through oil changes, supposedly to satisfy a vegan lawsuit if probably losing the suit on purpose to use cheaper, inferior, oils.  Still, if I can get things together and get out, I should be able to find a few things by which to cook without fuss or mess.

Absolutely floored or I would have called my mother.  It sounds like she had the flu.  One of my cousins was staying to help with things.  The most unlikely of them which... somehow works as it should for my clan.  A family with many lost causes who, through graces high and low, a word or two from one or two other lost to another, and an opportunity. Extracting a cranium from a dark place and on to doing good.  Not written as a darkness but as... a blessing.  I'll call tomorrow.

I may be at the end.  Or I may get out for food yet.  Or just maybe I'll do that and still do more.  Trash could go, but not until I return.  Ugh.  I think I checked mail Friday, but will look again, on my return, just in case.  So, yeah, I'm going... sometime.  Later.

Nothing doing.

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Good plans, solid intent, all systems otherwise operational, green lights across the board, but something vital is not working.  An all stop of function spiting an all ahead command and system setting.  I'll keep at it.  Today is the next day.  While Sunday, with nearly a week of virtual Sundays in a row at my back, I'll take work if I can get it.  God simply has to see the plight.  Then again it is not God who is the concern, Christ knows... both my heart and the nature of men.

Same plan.  Dishes, laundry, a shower and shave, and to finish the kitchen.  Oh, out for food, perhaps?  If, later, and I get some of this done, should I believe it will help continue work?  Then I might go out for food, fast or some sort of easy to fix food.  Someone keeps bumping a post about the troubles with work while fasting.  Especially at my level of it.  Yeah, I get that.  It's just that I am sort of stuck with it, sort of.  I'll figure my way out of the pretzel knot I seem to be in.  Thing is, I realized the other day, it will take several days to a week to eat my way up to a normal feedbag status.  The stomach has shrunk.  If only the waisteline would follow.

I think, perhaps, today is the day.  I'll feed the girls, fix a bite myself, finish waking, then try ketone crystals while trying to hit work.  Hmm...  Yeah.  Later.