Hmm?

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Hmm...

A bit of work.

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A couple days in a row, actually.  Not much work, more being out, if doing more than usual.  Today I was tired and a bit sore.  I might have done more, I... am never sure if my efforts are...  Well.  Besides, I was worn.  A day of rest was good.  Just being out in the elements tests me.  The sun is potent and strengthening quickly.

Days and nights were straightening, until I pushed a bit too much.  I might be able to tip things back, not sure.  Back on medicine well, for the last three weeks, if a short stumble regarding insulin as I thought, mistakenly, I was running out.  Yea, mistakes happen when stressed, even incorrectly.  Back on it for a week, doing better again.

I'm still pretty tired.  May tinker just a bit, then go back to bed... try to do days.  Try, try, again.  What  else is left to the dying?  It will take a while longer to normalize on medicine.  It's pretty powerful stuff.  I am surprised it isn't lethal itself.  Then again, maybe it is, just extending the other options?  Later.

A few other updates and ideas.

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While officially taking dedicated time to be solitary, mostly, and attempting to live more simply, I am trying to solve issues, some which haven't arisen yet.  Though I realize without tech, without electricity, running water, and a few other things, life simply won't work well.  But how did they used to do it?

They worked like slaves in sustenance efforts, devoting most of their time to scraping just enough to live, and starved when that wasn't possible.  Cannibalism was a later resolve.  And dying like flies was very common.  So far, in this event, so good.  But, here or there, three to ten days without food and you will see what I suggested about the FBI agent who tried to save the lamb.  Ripped to pieces.

Me?  I have gone weeks, even months, without food.  If often, then, I slept through it, at least the longer runs.  I do know that after a week or two the actual hunger goes, at least for me.  But something else, far more terrible, arrives... psychological hunger.  From that a slow approach towards madness.  None are immune, for beyond there be dragons.  Another form of... us.  Even if I am different, having flesh puts us all in the same boat on this and other issues.

Still, barring a complete collapse, there are options.  A few simple games... jacks (pick up) and marbles.  Silly, but fun, simple.  As well, I ordered a lot of popcorn.  No, not to eat while watching the world burn.  I don't have that luxury in any case, nor desire.  It is because popcorn is an easy way to add fats, for keto.  And salt... need more on keto.  As well, I ordered a small grouping of shelfstable fats, several jars of coconut fat and similar amounts of ghee.

Further, I have been using those foods and together.  I need a lot less of those fats than regular butter and they taste quite good.  I was hesitant about the coconut lard.  But it is quite good.  I went with raw, so yes it tastes of coconut.  But on the popcorn, with salt, that is lost in the background.  A few times a week, a big bowl of that serves as a meal.  Actually, no insulin spike, or nothing like what I feared.

I have had one failure... cheese powder.  It... isn't terrible.  It just isn't worth adding.  I have tried it in popcorn and a few other things.  I just don't taste cheese.  It is supposed to be cheddar.  It reminds me of edible yeast additive, but has none of the natural goodness that the yeast (in theory) provides.  Still, I will explore other ways to make it work, at least using it up.  Waste not, want not.

So, while sitting on my (if broken) thumbs, I haven't just quit.  It takes more than I have just to live, but I still attempt to do more than just survive.  I try to thrive.  And, in some ways, I do.  In very small ways, sometimes only by creating possibilities I can't actually realize.  Just knowing the possibilities have physical backing toward their fulfillment is... comforting.  Later.

As I live and breath.

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I am still in bad shape.  Winter is becoming spring nicely, slowly.  But the sun has stayed hidden.  I fear the heat it will bring, but a touch here and there would be helpful.  It is warning out there.  It was 35° Just a bit after three of the dark.  But it's a warmer 35°?  Yes.  I was looking for Sam.  Silly girl wouldn't come in after I fed the ducks, then somehow got stuck in the garage... strangely one of her absolutely favorite places in the whole world.

I was so afraid I was going to find naught but a frozen fluffy icecube.  She wasn't even cold to the touch, if the garage was five to more like ten degrees warmer than the outside.  Silly girl, but none the worse for any wear.  Fed, petted and massaged, now off to razz Sassy?  Who knows with that woman.

The small meat packs, with salad, sometimes cheese, one of several dressings, and any number of other additives (think olives, capers, etc, and singly or in pairs or groups) make for an excellent meal.  Keeping up on lettuce is the trick.  And, yes, after various experiments, romaine is much better than iceberg.  The roughage is significant for r, nonexistent for the iceberg.  And, yes, that is worth the difference.

Eggs, boiled, diced... yeah.  Almost anything, hot or cold, might add to a salad.  Between that, a fatted coffee and tea per day, and unsweetened tea, I have been eating very rightly.  A potato meal twice a week... if next time, I will try it raw, diced, on a salad.  It was the only anti-starch food that worked.

I helped the neighbors, in thought more than else.  Think... well-wishing pet rock.  And, perhaps again to day.  I mostly watch, sit.  In really bad shape.  Winter to wet cold spring, medicine restarted, illness, age.  It's not ever going to get better.  So much so, if I get the china virus I will just fight it from home.  I have gotten more medical, good and bad, than any man deserves.  I'll leave it for others.  And, yes, I... know.  On the other hand, you won't see me out on spring break.  Pretty much everyone I know, save at the store, are in isolation too.

Ugh.  I'll keep trying.  Be well and blessings.  Later.

Well, that is interesting.

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After posting from my phone, they opened tools and access back up on my main system.  I had figured out how to post vids as well.  Yea.  Interesting.  Spell check remains gone, but it wasn't very good anyway.  Interesting, very interesting.  Later.

Trying a new way.

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Well, there is the phone.  I wasn't sure if a) it would work or b) it was doable, tolerable.  I finally recovered enough from the battering from the fight dreams to check.  The jury is still out.  First time doing this.  As well, figuring how to add youtube vids... no reason to blog without that.