Feeling a bit off.

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I thought it might be blood sugar.  I have eaten, about an hour, maybe two, ago.  I did cook the beef, spiced it, and had a small portion of it on salad.  No dressing, just... spiced burger and lettuce.  One smaller dose of the stuff was enough.  No insulin has been taken all day.

It shouldn't have spiked insulin up, but I can't ever sense that.  But down maybe.  Probably only an hour ago.  I just wasn't sure.  I decided to check.  Blood sugar is 118, so not the problem.  So tired, off.  I have the furnace up, so it isn't the cold.  I don't know, but I really want to go on to bed.

I also really don't want to go on to bed.  It is just hitting 16:00.  I'd like to stay up a few more hours.  As well, I will do a late chores.  This time including food, as they didn't need food earlier.  I'm not sure about the temp, but most likely the waterers have frozen again.  I can't do chores three times a day, I don't have it in me.  But I can try twice a day.  And, if awake a particularly long period, and have the energy, I might, once in a while, do three chores a day.

I may feed the girls again.  I have been clearing their litter twice a day, recently.  Until I fall again, that is really good.  And, yes, they love me for it.  If I am clean, which I am, if they are fed, their litter tended, and fresh water is offered, they are absolutely loving.  If one or two of those things goes flagging?  Not so much.  If all are off, I am like off tuna... not good for anybody, and they let me know it.  Women, human, cat, dog... pretty... similar.  :)  Not a complaint, just... saying.  For my part I prefer to be in good company, so try to do my part.

I think I ate the last meal in time to make it count for intermittent fasting.  That will be the goal for the next week.  Then I will begin considering tightening it... regardless of how successful I am.  Perfection isn't always possible, and yet improvement can go forward with or without that.  It depends on if I simply stumbled, forgot, or if I am struggling with the process.  Sometimes slower it best, sometimes forging on is best.

After that, all I can drink is either water, perrier, or plain tea.  Though, of course, medicine, vitamins, and insulin have to be taken.  Oh, I did have two beef sticks.  That didn't cause any problems with insulin.  So, it is dosage.  I just have to keep it to just two.  Had it with lunch, so did very well, with what else I had.

I may just do chores, to make sure they get done.  It feels like I am getting ready to crash.  Later.  Or most likely goodnight.

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The rabbits didn't need food or water?  Neither was empty and the waterers were still flowing.  Checking the temp, it is 26 F out there, not bad, but definitely below freezing.  Odd, but okay.  I'll check them when I wake, or as able shortly thereafter.  At least I checked.  I don't like adding food if it hasn't all been eaten.

Now, yes, on to bed.  Maybe a little bit of browsing, to procrastinate toward the end of staying awake another half hour to hour.  Yea, I'm trying.  Goodnight, evening, and day.

Christmas, part of it.

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I had to ask, pointedly.  Mother finally told me some things she would want.  She required that I keep the price low.  Well, okay.  Mostly.  The problem was that I couldn't decide between two options... so I chose them both.  Which about doubled what she said.  Shut up.

They arrived today.  She say she likes them.  Who know.  I know... I... never believe.  Still, I did what I could.  And almost within her constraints.  Bleh.

So cool, cold really.  It doesn't make sense.  I am dressed as warmly as reasonable.

I did have lunch.  I am set to fry the burger, and have a taco salad.  No beans, this time.  With blood sugar doing so well, I hate to lose it.  It is almost amazing.  As I said, I have eaten this type of food for some time now.  Why would it all of a sudden work?  It had worked, before, then stopped working.  If I suspect my food was being sabotaged.

Chores.

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The rabbits needed water, badly.  However, this time most of them were half finished.  So fresh is very good, but not quite as desperately needed as yesterday.  They hadn't eaten most of their food, so I didn't add any.  I will check tonight, adding to those who need.  Their food consumption is definitely tied to their liquid intake.  I'll do my best for them... twice a day is about as good as I can do.

I tried the hydrant again.  Nope.  It's frozen.  I'll just have to use indoor water for them and the cats, so I refreshed the girls' water and got a bucket ready for refilling waterers.  When they thaw, that is.  I'm not sure the ones from last night are thawed.  Hard, solid, frozen in weird ways, some of them.

The strange thing is that it is only 19 F out there.  It isn't all that terribly cold.  I just don't quite get it.  It hit fast, went to more normal temps for this part of the year.  But not even as bad as it has gotten before, or usually?  Both, mostly.  I did find a pair of gloves crossed with mittens, and use those when I go out.  I put them under my jacket, which I wear around the house even when I keep it up to 75!  I put them in my arm pits, so whenever I need or want to go out, I have warm gloves.  Woolen, mostly, if you can believe adverts these days.  If so, thin, though lined with something.  Not the warmest things, but good if to mittenize, or open up and have fingers available without taking off the whole glove.

Blood sugar is 108.  Just... fine.  BP is actually a bit high, at 132/82 with a pulse of 67 though?  Strange.  I have been wearing a belly band.  I wonder if that is interfering?  I released it, got a bit lower reading but not much.  Hmm...  Oh well.  The pulse is better than I ever had it.  In my best condition, it ran ~80.  BP used to be rather normal.  And, yes, I took medicine an hour or two ago.  From now on I will loosen my belly band an hour or two before testing.

Hmm... something to eat?  I still need to fry the burger.  Though, really, that is for later.  A cheese sandwich, a portion of pork rinds with a touch of hot sauce, and perrier.  Sounds good to me.  I am going to try to eat all within an eight hour window.  So, after this lunch, I'll want to eight in a few hours.  Just, say, two hours.  That way I can test after eating.  But I best get to eating.  This will be the beginning of intermittent fasting.

In time, I will squeeze that down to six hours, then maybe four... or go to one meal a day?  We'll see how it works out.  Then, every two weeks, fasting.  Have to be careful with insulin.  Might have to cease taking it while fasting?  I think so.  Might mess up blood sugar in the short run, but worth it in the long run.  Perhaps stopping all insulin the day before I begin fasting, then fast for two days.  Yeah, probably... if I get to that point.  Then again, a plan is what you take into failure, in order to sort out what really needs to happen, isn't it?  Yes.  Just shake your head yes.  Or be quiet, meaning you haven't done these things before, without someone telling you what to do.  You are welcome!

Yes, on to a lunch.  Some more gaming.  And, then... actually cooking the burger first, then to gaming, on a timer, so I eat shortly enough.  Ugh.  Later.

Up and going fairly well.

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Down at about 19:15.  Up at 02:30~03:00.  A short sleep, but feeling good.  Slept well, if short.  Didn't even use the pee jug?  That's a first in a very long time.  I would like to never have to use it again, but that is... a bit off.  I think it might be possible, just not yet, regularly.  The goodness of the sleep proves the concept... it would be very good.

Breakfast is brewing.  Just the same old.  But I really do like it.  Now that I have it down, I should consider doing a nutrient assessment.  Three tablespoons of chia, half a tablespoon of cinnamon, a tablespoon and an half of a monkfruit mix, two drops of liquid sucralose, and a quarter cup of either cream or coconut milk.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I add a tablespoon of flax, black pepper, and turmeric.  These I brew  with water either taken to 195 or up to boiling, then lets the whole of it sit for about an half hour.  Say... an half cup to nearly a cup?  I could add nuts, but would prefer nuts which are richer in omega 3's, much less in omega 6's.

As it turns out... an ounce? of chia offers 316% of the 1600 mg base?  So, about 5064 mg's of omega 3s.  And, how much is an ounce of chia?  Hahaha... ~2.8 tablespoons.  Check.  Talk about fortuity?  I just chose three tablespoons based on hunger needs.  And flax offers 405% of the dose.  I would suspect measure and volume are similar.  So I get a boost twice a week, without the concern of as much phytoestrogens.  Man-boob stuff.  Bleh.  So, actually, I could add walnuts (which also offer some 3s, or pecans, or really any nut.  Doesn't really need more 3s, so could use them for other things.  Meat handles the 6s.  But I only eat a portion of meat a day, plus perhaps a bit on the side in the form of sticks or such.

Okies, it looks like I handle omega 3s and fiber pretty much in breakfast alone.  Anything else is just happenstance, and probably immaterial to a degree.  Or a different sort of fiber?  There is soluble and insoluble, and insoluble which affect different parts of the intestine.  Even soluble which break down in different parts of the system, so as to feed or encourage different parts of the flora and fauna?  Something like that.  Various types of fiber are good.

No, I'm not a dietician, just an end user trying to be informed... smart... about what I eat.  Difficult to do when I'm half dead or more.  Still... it's... something to do, in an attempt to get some of my life back.  God knows, I haven't quit, if sometimes I can't hold the wheel.  When I can, or even can plan to, I do what I can.

Blood sugar is 131 fasting, my weekly average is 119?, but I forgot to take slow acting insulin.  I will take it now, then take it this evening.  When my day stretches too long, things just get lost.  I did take all my pill medicine, at least there is that.  I almost stumbled on that last night, the last few nights actually.  Difficult when days and nights are tumbling, stretching, churning.

Hmm... now to get that insulin.  I won't take fast acting with that low of a fasting draw.  Anything below 150 and nubs on that.  Especially since I'll be dosing with slow acting.  I'll take my bp in a bit.  I like to give medicine an half hour to work it's magic.  Though sometimes I like to see raw morning numbers... but only after establishing an average, a baseline.

Everything is ready for the rabbits.  Though if the hydrant is still frozen, I will have to take water from indoors.  Not my favorite idea, simply no choice.  I have never had that freeze.  I have seen a size 8 to 10 shoe, with a dog following whoever, out in the snow.  And another dog, a bigger down.  I see where they go.  Rabbits, even the man.  Not a woman, something about them.  No, it was a man, and his dog.  The other dog was alone, or at least traveled in it's own path.  No way of telling when, so whether they arrived together or separately.  Though, at various times, as there are signs the man's dog was here solo, as well.  Probably who killed my ducks.

Well... on to slow acting insulin and... I don't quite know what else.  Waking up, a bit better, more fuller.  Then whatever I can get to.  Good morning, and night and day.  

Wanted to check one more time.

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With blood sugars coming down, but being wonky, I wanted to check again.  I gave it an hour, or so, since I ate.  While 88, and seemingly stable, isn't too bad.  I... actually do fear going to bed with it at that point.  Fear?  Have reservations about.  That is new territory, and rather close to the edge.

So, another meal.  And, then, a bit of waiting until an hour or so had passed.  Blood sugar is 129.  That is... safer.  Perhaps, in time, I will get used to going to bed with lower blood sugars.  For now I will work to have it just a bit higher.  Given that it was only recently above the range of my meter to read, I can handle a few days or weeks at 129 at bedtime.  Just until it is stable, I get used to the idea, and... yea... Until dying in my sleep isn't a seeming probability.

Ugh, 21:15.  I've been up very late.  On to bed.  Goodnight, for sure this time.

My bad.

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I should have gotten to chores much earlier.  The heretofore warm weather has allowed me to be a bit lazy.  That... ended.  Not only did it get cold enough to freeze my hydrant... but it hasn't frozen the water into the house?  It should have drained... it goes to seven to eight feet underground, and has a drain system under there.  It couldn't have frozen that deep.  I wonder if they can have found how to unlock the padlock?

Anyway, beside doing that, the waterers for the rabbits were all stone solid frozen.  And mostly full.  Meaning the critters didn't get much to drink before those froze.  They were thirsty.  Food was all pretty much in plenty.  It looks like they won't feed without something to drink.  I... get that.

So, I will have to check their waterers, for sure, twice a day going forward.  Which means, the next time I wake, and first thing, their waterers will simply be changed out.  Then, as I go to bed.  I can't... guarantee how much time between those, or I'd be doing some other form of work (or too).  But I can get them, generally, every eight to sixteen hours.  Sure beats going without flowing water for thirty six hours?  Maybe, it was a long time, more the twenty four hours.  Actually, more like thirty hours?  Still... a long time.  None of them are ill, but I don't want to do that again.

Blood sugar is 88.  I think I will get something a bit heavier to eat.  Not so much hungry, as... wanting something warm, and more than just a bit or bite.  I am hungry, but it is more of the mind than body?  I think so.  No insulin with the meal, if it will be keto.  Not perfect keto, a bit dirty, but... sometimes... it's what is possible.  I'll feed the girls as I get to it.

Yea, I thought I was going to bed much earlier.  It just... took forever for me to get going.  First the shower, then drying off, then getting the waterers filled, then chores.  Oh, ugh... if the hydrant remains frozen, I'll have to use indoor... softened... water for the critters.  At least until it thaws.  Not liking the idea of that, but don't have a choice.  Hmm... I need to get a few valves downstairs, installed, might consider putting a tap down there as well?  Very strange though.  This is the first time I have had it freeze, and it has been much colder.  It is 17 F, which isn't even all that cold.  It was 11 or so earlier?  Something like it.

Well, on to cats and supper.  Probably goodnight, but good evening and day in any case.  I can't believe I have made it to almost 19:00 and still going.  Bleh.  Later or those other things, so much later.

Well, slowly getting there.

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A shower, the litter cleared and extra added.  The girls have been fed and treated aplenty, but, really, every four to six hours is fair.  Just letting my hair dry, before chores.  As well, letting the waterers warm just a bit more.  I know, late is the hour, and the waterers probably froze, maybe later in the night.  Then again, maybe they were able to keep the water flowing through most of the night.  It being just below freezing, not far below... last I checked.

The low bp is a bit unnerving.  It does slow me down, just as cold does.  Hopefully it isn't the way it will be.  Though I can't imagine it being that low as a sort of outlier reading.  If it is that low, still, tomorrow, I will stop a smaller portion of the carvedilol.  Though, if that doesn't raise it enough, or at all, I am not sure whether to halve the new pill, or the old new one.  Though, to be honest, I think cutting the new one... either splitting the pills and taking half, or taking one per day instead of two.  There are three options.  I'm not sure which is most potent, or needed.  Tricky stuff.

I need to eat something shortly.  Take a dose of insulin with it, but a small one.  I may only take 4 cc's with a fatted coffee.  And, I may try to coconut milk instead of cream, just to see how it tastes, works.  A bit rough today.  But... this sort of rough is better than many of my typical days from just months ago and on back.  This is a blessedly light suffering.  It's still suffering, but not nearly as bad as it has been or could be.

It does amaze me, remembering how bad things were, for so long.  I understand there was more to not committing suicide than just giving up on trying.  Realizing God was real, in charge, didn't want that, and more.  But, even that... I have endured pain on a scale most will never understand.  Just having some semblance of tranquility, sanity, an inner and outer peace?  I don't understand.  Even when it hurts, now, and for quite some time.

Well, I suppose I should get to it.  Then go on to bed.  Coffee first, just to warm a bit.  The chores and bed.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

Pushing it.

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Well past bedtime.  I still have things to do.  Hate when that happens.

Blood sugar was a little high.  My guess is the meat sticks have a lot more sugar and else in them than listed.  I'll have to check them several times before deciding if that is the case.  If so, I'll finish them, but not buy that brand again.  Blood sugar is 144.  As well, I decided to check blood pressure, for the first time on these new medicines.  At 111/73 with a pulse of 77. it is looking a bit low.  I might back off the carvedilol.  It causes me the most trouble anyway, that I know of.  Well, if the bp remains this low, though definitely if it goes lower.  Feeling okay for it, though that may not last.  If it is similarly low tomorrow, I will drop the small carvedilol dose.  If it continues to be too low, I will either have the older new medicine, or drop one of the new new pills... I take two a day, of the new ones.

I still haven't gotten to chores.  But, I had to refill waterers.  I am letting them warm, for an half hour or so.  Yea, I know.  but it is as it is.  After, I still hope to get a shower in.  Then stay up just a while, in order to dry off a bit, then on to bed.  Not doing great, but... not terrible either.  Moving as fast as I can, doing what is possible.  Later, or goodnight, and good afternoon and day.

Good call.

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I went with 6 cc's of fast acting insulin, with breakfast.  I think 150 might well end up being the cutoff, give or take.  Blood sugar is 103.  And it doesn't feel like it is dropping, or at least not quickly.  I don't mind 103, or even 120 to 80, so long as I don't have that sense that blood sugar is crashing.  Gotta get ahead of that drop.  Though, at 80, I would eat something right then.  An ounce of nuts, a few beef sticks, and a few pieces of cheese?  Something.

More snow out there.  I haven't been out again.  But it seems colder.  I want to take a shower, then get to chores.  Then fry burger, for the next few days.  I think the salad is still good.  The nice thing about making it rather spicy; in the winter, is that it actually makes the meal seem, or actually be somehow, warmer.

Actually, it is probably time for more food.  A cheese and deli sandwich, plus pork rinds?  Maybe a few meat sticks?  Something like that.  I purchased meat sticks recently.  If you overeat them, they are expensive... too expensive.  But, if you have two or three every other or third day, for the smaller ones, or one big one, then it's a great meal enhancer or snack for on keto.  I am trying.  Oh, would be super with a bit of cheese, too.

Well, on to something to eat, first... then a shower... then chores.  Perhaps more after.  Good day.

A whole turkey?

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I did get something for Christmas.  No way I could eat a whole turkey.  Not even sure the oven would... well?  Actually, I probably could cook a whole turkey.  But eating it?  Putting it up?  Yea... I don't think so.  Still, while in the store, sniffing around the dark corners of where I find preferred things, such as offal, I rummaged upon a turkey leg.  Perfect, and my chosen part of the bird, mostly.

Oh, and today, I will bey trying the coconut milk.  It does have some things in it that some would not wish, such as preservatives, and such.  For me, that is good enough.  As long as it doesn't have sweeteners, or things that spike blood sugar, I am okay with the rest.  I am sure I have had coconut "curries", and such.  But it has been a while.  Still, using coconut oil probably gives me an idea of the flavor.  Milder, in oil form, but... similar.  I'll have it with breakfast.  I purchased a number of cartons, each will offer just about three servings, of an half cup each, at about 170 calories per serving.  Good enough for me, about 2/3rd's of what cream is.

Oh... just did it.  Rather tasty.  I could use a package a week, so three meals of it a week.  Variety.  That works well.

I almost missed medicine for last night.  I woke early enough to take night meds, and did so right away.  So, now or shortly, I can take morning medicines, for Friday.  Sleeping in strange cycles makes taking meds a bit difficult.  Still, I do my best.  I did miss night meds a few days ago, for the scheduling issues, or having pushed things.  Ugh.  But, today, I've cleared yesterday and can start today rightly.  I'll begin checking bp today or... soon.

Not bad.  That coconut milk/cream.  Not as good as whole raw cream, but... not bad.  And it does add a bit of a change.  Oh, I'll add 6 cc's of fast acting as I before I finish breakfast.  Later.

Awake.

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When did I go to bed?  Looking back, I went to bed right after my last post, which was nearly 14:00.  So, okay.  Waking at 01:00.  A longish sleep, but after wrestling with the day, because of blood sugar problems, yes.  Low and dropping blood sugar is rough.  It has many of the symptoms of the flu, only it really is possibly killing you.

I never did remember to take a painpill.  And that turned out okay.  I'd... really rather not take pills, not even the ones I need to take.  So the extras are avoided, often by procrastination.  And, yes, I hurt, terribly.  Still, doing okay this morning.  Neck and shoulder bones are a bit cranky, but very lightly.

Oh, and blood sugar is 148 fasting, 119 for the weekly average?  It's what the machine says.  Not sure I always trust the machine, but there it is.  And that, after pushing it to 200 last night.  I must be much more careful with fast acting insulin, and maybe back off slow acting.  I may have raised it a bit fast.  I know I did.  Still, I see... possibilities.  That is close enough to 150 that I will take a small dose with breakfast.  I am thinking 6 cc's.  Maybe 8?  No, 6.  Yesterday... made me nervous.  Less is better.

I just checked the temp... 14 F.  Yes, that is below freezing, if you are a Celsius-head.  32 F = 0 c.  Why am I telling you that?  Ah, because sometimes, those who don't do the one, really don't know.  Still, and oddly, 14 F, dry, windless, feels warmer than 32, wet, with air movement.

I won't be doing chores until after sunup.  But I do need to redo waterers.  Food is still good, and will be for a while.  Though I would like to get two to six more bags before long.  With just rabbits, I am hoping to keep up.  But I will be keeping my feed in new places, less prone to disappearing.  Or, at least, they will have to break into the house to do it.  

I have been having a lot less thievery lately.  Not sure why.  Did they just decide to stop, did a family or members of a family move away, did it become more difficult than the worth, or is my waking cycling making thievery too complicated?  All I know is everything from cat food, to paper plates, to food stuffs, to toilet paper... if they are being stolen I am not seeing it.  No insulin gone missing, I think?  Unless they are getting shots of it out of the vials?  I hadn't thought to check that closely, until now.  Yea, I could see it.

Breakfast water is heating.  It might seem boring, but it's okay.  I recently obtained coconut milk, in small containers.  I may try that, for a change, a few times a week.  One of the days I add flax, and day or two of normal breakfast, just to add variety.  Or, rarely, depending on what I think of costs, and carb count, and etc.

I haven't quite gotten to carb and calorie counting, but I can tell you I am doing pretty darned good.  Given the carb counts of chia breakfast and a cheese sandwich, or equivalent, for breakfast and lunch, it almost doesn't matter what I have for supper.  As a from raw meat and/or vegetable supper.  Now, to calories?  The cream is pretty calorie dense, at 51 calories per tablespoon.  So, an half cup is... 

Well, okay, a tablespoon of cream is 70 calories.  Or 71, depending on where you read, but I am mostly seeing 70.  And, there are... 13.32275 tablespoons per cup, or that times 70 which equals... ~933 calories per cup!  Okay, so half that is ~466 calories?  Wouch.  I... best watch that.  I have been trying to keep it, actually, at a quarter cup, 233 calories, but it's easy to... oopsies.  I may need to measure.

Anyway, if I keep it at a quarter cup, my calories, with a standard meat and veg dinner, should be easily within range of the 1700~1900 weight loss calorie limit... for starters.  Maintenance calories, for my weight, is around ~2,200 to ~2,400 calories, as a reference.  Something a keto woman suggested, was that after every five pounds of weight loss, the calorie count has to be rescheduled.  Meaning... less.  Though, as I am doing it, I am probably well under the numbers, so can run a bit longer just as is before actually having to cut food, or watch it too much more closely?  Something like that.  Ugh.  Though, to be honest, I am thinking of checking calorie allotment more like every ten pounds down... unless I hit some kind of roadblock.  She might be right, but I am!  :p

Well?  I'd best get started on breakfast.  And, I may begin checking blood pressure today or tomorrow.  I have started on the new, new, medicine, and been on it two days so far.  I don't know if it has had an affect yet, only one way to tell.  Hmm... I wonder if it is affecting blood sugar.  Sometimes, heart medicine does increase efficacy.  I don't think I have seen it reduce efficacy, but I have seen it both increase it, and have no affect on potency of insulin.

Good evening, night, morning, or... day?  I suppose.  Later.

Almost spooky.

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I wanted to stay up.  Packages were to arrive.  I had a few beef stick snacks, and water, while playing a game and waiting.  The packages are supposed to have arrived, so I will check.  Before doing that, I wanted to test blood sugar.  Crazy, but after being 200 just a while ago, and eating beef sticks, just recently, blood sugar is... 125?  I... have candy up there, if it drops... and I can feel it.

Crazy.  I may back off the slow acting insulin as well.  Or... for a few days.  I may go to 35, instead of 38 cc's, and see if that makes it less... spooky.  If you have never had your blood sugar bottom out, you... don't know what you are missing.  I've been dead.  I have slowly drifted down into, and past, that line.  I know what it feels like, and that feels like death.  Scrambling out of it isn't easy, every.  It is the body failing.

I did my best not to use candy.  In the end, I had not choice.  And, I had to use it several times.  Wow.  Yea, I best be careful.  Good... afternoon, day, and night.

Not perfect, but settled.

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A bit after candies, blood sugar is 200.  While not preferred in general, given the options I am fine with it.  If it drops a hundred, I don't care.  But at 100, I don't have room to maneuver.  If it is too high when I wake, I will do what I need to do.  Live and learn, live and learn.

Chores are done.  I had thought to leave the partial waterers out there.  But had second thoughts.  As cold as it is, now down to 29 and very possibly dropping or at least not rising, the water would freeze, and probably fairly quickly.  Whereas, if I put warm water out, it will stay liquid longer... if the rabbits do their part.  Which they generally do.

Yes, warm water will freeze quicker.  Unless it is being moved, through drinking for example, via the 'straw'.  And, they are good little drinkers.  I will check again this evening, when ever I happen to wake.  Probably.  Ugh.  Well, at least I made it to 11:30!  And, I may try to last just a little while longer.  Long enough to have a cup of tea, to warm my bones and fingers after that cold dip into the outdoors.

Oddly, I am warm enough today.  Well, before going out there.  It isn't just the cold, today.  Generally, 30ish is fine.  But with the wet from the snow, and rain before it, that seems much cooler.  I don't think there was a wind, but air movement... sort of a different thing, but sometimes with similar results... making it seem cooler than the thermometer suggests.  Odd, not sure if the extreme dry or these subtle winds and moisture makes it colder, at given temps?  To be honest, I think this feels colder than the dry 25 F, of the other day.  Then again, there was no air movement that day, so...  Difficult to compare apples to seeming oranges.

While I will do a few more things, I think this is it for the night.  Goodnight, morning, and day.  Amen.

That just isn't working.

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A decent group of celery and carrots, with several tablespoons of peanut butter, then a very large portion of veggies, with butter added.  And, an half hour after?  Blood sugar is only 101.  And it feels like it is falling.  So, I'll just eat some candies.  Enough to elevate.  I have more near my bed, if I wake to further trouble.  I can only do what I can do.  I did my best.

Lesson learned.  If blood sugar is below 150, anyway, no insulin.  I may have to alter, raise, even that.  But, for now... that is where it is at.

It went quiet a bit ago.  Wasn't sure if it had stopped raining, or... what.  I just wanted to check the temp, then I saw it.  At first I wondered if it was frost, or frozen water.  But, no.  Snow.  The first snow in quite a while.  We did get a snow or two, I think, earlier.  Since then, nothing.  Little or no rain, either.  If this continues, we will know drought.  Well, not the snow, the nothing.

Drats, my plow isn't on.  I'm not sure I can put it on myself.  And this looks wet.  Plus, the temp is down to 30, it will freeze.  Bleh.

Still hoping to do chores.  And test blood sugar in an hour, after this candy goes down.  I need to see that it isn't going to drop, or that it is high enough not to be so much of a worry.  I wouldn't mind it being 101, or even 90, if I didn't feel like it was falling like a rock.  No, no, no.  That's too close.  I could miss the signs in my sleep.  Usually I wake, but this close to being really bad?  No.  Just... no.  Later.

Struggling.

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.

Taking the fast acting insulin was a major mistake.  I have eaten three different groups of things, plus two groups of two 5 gram carb sugar items, and... it brought it to 101.  I was hoping that would be good, it would settle.  But it is dropping again, now down to 90.  I am going to have to do something.  I'm just not sure what I have to eat that might do the trick?

Veggies... I do have cauliflower and broccoli, but I'm not sure there is enough carbs in those.  Carrots and peanut butter?  Celery and carrots with peanut butter?

I feel awful.  I had hoped to go to bed, but I don't want to eat more hard candy.  I am trying to sort this out with food.  I'm just not sure I have food that will work.  Perhaps carrots and celery with the peanut butter, plus starting to cook broccoli and cauliflower?  I need something quick, and probably more than I can tolerate of the raw veggies alone?  Bleh.

What else do I have that might gently bump blood sugar?  Trying not to jack it up.  I think I'll take some of the migraine medicine too.  Yea, getting rough.  Not sure if it is from my schedule swings, insulin drops, or whatall.  I'll give it a shot.  Looks like I'll be up long enough to get the rabbits their breakfast.

Not sure what is up with the girls, but they are begging for food constantly.  I just won't feed them every two hours!  I did turn the furnace down, last night.  Then left it down today.  I seem to be warm enough, if it is warmer outside.  Last I checked, it was 32, and raining... so not freezing.  It may have dropped since then.  And, probably will before or after sunup.  Still, not sure if the waterers will freeze in that time.  Anyway, I will get to chores shortly.  After a bit to eat, and more cooking.

My bad.

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.

With blood sugar at 126 fasting, I thought maybe I should take some fast acting insulin with breakfast.  I took 8 cc's.  Started feeling funny, as in blood sugar downward spike.  So I had lunch early.  Delayed, slowed, the fall, but not enough.  So, a couple of candies.  Just two, as the meal helped maybe enough?  Ugh.  Even just after eating, maybe a half hour after, blood sugar is 75.  I just don't have anything to eat which would really stop the blood sugar drop.  Other than some candies.

I have several types, plus the glucose tabs.  All offer about 5 grams of carbohydrates, candy is simply much cheaper.  I will give it an half hour... if possible.  If it is still diving, I will take a few more.  Trying to go with the absolute minimum.  Sometimes you just gotta do what you have to do.

It's raining outside?  Very strange.  December 9th?  Raining?  Yes, raining.  Checked to make sure.  And, while checking that, checked the temp... 32.  Very strange.  Then again, I've thought back.  In Iowa, as a child, and Colorado... there were seasons which were brutal, and winters which were very oddly warm.  Nothing new under the sun.  Then, speaking with mother, she remembered times, in her youth, much as I remember.  And she is a leftist.  Still votes left, knowing that all they do is lie.  Oh well.  Funny thing is, I had just realized what I realized a few days before she told me the same.  How funny.

A bit of a headache from the drop.  May just go on to bed, and try to be up early, or sort of early.  I'd like to actually eat something, perhaps a few walnuts and pecans.  Not sure it will help with the drop, but... I'm just a tad hungry anyway.  Even having breakfast and lunch right together.  Later, or goodnight.

20:27?

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A long nap.  I went down just before 13:00.  Down hard.  Just waking.  Yea, my foray into daytime was shortlived.  Then again, I am not done trying.  I got just enough of a peak to like it, again.  I dreamed of finding one of my foster brothers, locating his home in a certain city, and visiting him there.  My other brother was with me, strangely.

He was scattered, between becoming paranoid as to how I found him, and nostalgic by the meeting.  He isn't the Jack I remember, but a life of medical practice will do that.  They required more liberalism from him before allowing him into the medical school, to start.  If you understand that liberalism is a form of stupidity... you begin to understand where that leads.  And... it does and did.  I don't have a brother who isn't liberal.  I don't think the sisters ever cared, so long as they could do as they willed... which, really, is just another form of that.  Oddly, the one sister who remains married IS the admitted and organized liberal.  But... she is the man of the house, literal.  In spite of having had three children, she actually works out of the house.  Her 'husband' stays home with the children.  And they call me weird?  Bleh.

Anyway... awake, but just.  I'll figure out what to do and what is possible.  I may be a bit under the weather after what all the last few days.  I can push, but then I have to take a break.  And push I did.  Still, it was beautiful.  If I can push today, I will.  Tomorrow?  I'll push every chance I get.  I hate being caged by illness, age, or whatelse.

Then again, if I were working, how much harm would I be doing in the world?  These days, it seems, the more successful one is, the more dangerous and destructive one is.  It doesn't matter if one is a doctor, an engineer, or a ceo.  Everything seems to be some form of genocide, destruction, or bureaucratic overreach and micromanagement of people you should merely be serving.  Evil.  So... yea, maybe it's... a good thing.  Instead of conquering the world, these days, men have chosen the path of conquering the will of their fellow man.

Still, I can try to improve my little chunk of the world.  Doing dishes, breaking down boxes, cooking, feeding and watering the critters, taking care of litter, writing my little bits here and there, and taking care of my body best I am able.  The little is what is left to me, the humble.  And I'm not good at it, or all that able, to add to the humility.  And, yet, I am grateful to have been shown humility... before others and before my death.  May you know it before you are shown it far too late to do a thing about it.  Embrace the humble, truly, or know doom.

Oh, blood sugar is 126 what I am calling fasting.  I took not a drop of fast acting insulin the whole day!  Wow.  Okay.  I am at about 38 cc's of slow acting in the evening.  And, it seems, at least today, no fast acting was needed.  That doesn't mean the same tomorrow.  And if I eat something like a potato from time to time, I would still like to dose with fast acting.  And this, like day cycle, doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same.  But... it is promising, an in the right direction.

A mouthful of exceptions there.  But... that is my life.  That has been my life for decades.  I live but by the will of God, and nothing more.  I surrendered my life, I tossed it away, and He said NO.  And, so, beyond my will and abilities, I am.  If with many exceptions.  So be it.  If, finally, with a gladness.  Amen, again, I say, right in this paragraph, if you have the eyes to see.

That was a pretty good steak.

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Well, there is room for improvement.  But, just for a trial run, not bad.  Next time?  Twenty minutes in the oven, and two minutes on each side, in the hot oil... then one minute on each side.  It was slightly more done than I absolutely want, and not as crisp on the outside.  Oil, butter, lard, tallow... this time I used coconut oil.  Next time one of the others?  It's not bad.  Different, a bit, but pretty good.  I just want to try one of the others.

I did turn the heat up.  And then again.  I finally warmed.  But I am so tired from fighting the cold that I will need a nap.  Hopefully just that.  Who can tell.  I've fed the girls twice today, plus offered them some of my steak.  Sam liked it, Sassy didn't seem interested.  Just small bits, but they were offered some of my meal.  They keep begging though.  Well, plus a treat (a small handful of treats actually), and all the hard kibbles they can eat, plus plenty of fresh water.  And, yet, they are still so very hungry.  I don't quite understand.  And I won't feed them more.

Well, on to a nap.  I... I just can't stay awake longer.  I will turn the furnace down, at least while I nap.  Ugh.  Later, or much later.  Can't tell how this will work.

Amazing.

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Still cold.  Not sure what the deal is, but I am just barely staying warm enough to be not quite frigid.  Just chilled.  I am wearing two to three layers.  I have the furnace up to 74, if that is only keeping the room 72.  Something... odd.  No, that isn't usual.  And, by the thermometer reading, it isn't just me.  I suppose I could put a (another) jacket on.  Not sure if that would help.

I am thinking of turning the furnace up just a few more degrees.  Not sure why it is that cold, both bodily and in the cave.  It is unusual.  Sometimes I have been cold, regardless of temp.  But usually the furnace keeps the place warm enough, up to the setting.  Not today.

The amazing thing, though, is blood sugar.  Two to three hours after breakfast, blood sugar is 103!  It dropped, even from fasting.  Weekly average is reading 126.  Though, I have to admit, having some wonder that low blood sugar (your average is my low) might have something to do with me feeling so cold.  Carbs burn fast, and hot.

Anyway... I have something else started.  I have the steak salted and spiced, and setting for an hour.  Then I will put it in the oven for half an hour, then fry to finish.  I am so hungry, if more mental than physical... there is the drooling.  Then again, drool isn't from hunger, necessarily.  Anticipation?

The problem with being cold is that getting going is difficult.  I can't believe, with as much as I am wearing, I am still cold!  Wool socks, liner, longjohns, thick pj bottoms, a long-sleeved shirt, and a fleece jacket.  Hmm... may see if I can find a cap.  Can't do gloves, makes typing and gaming impossible.  Bleh.

Well... so pleased with the blood sugar.  I don't really understand.  I don't have to.  This is what I have eaten often, in the past, or very similar.  It just doesn't make sense that it is working now.  Oh well.  I'll take it.  Later.

Cold.

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I checked around 06:00~06:20.  It read 25.  While nip, not terrible.  Then, as I looked out around 07:30, it seemed light enough to get to chore.  There was a brim of clouds just on the eastern horizon, above even the mountains, keeping the sun from clearing, but with the rest of the sky open so that light bumped on past the clouds.

As I got to chores, it sure seemed a bit cooler, colder.  So, as I finished, I check again.  It was down to 20 F.  A five degree drop.  It often cools before sunrise, just one of those things.  I'd like to say five degrees is a bigger than usual drop, but... come to think of it, I really can't be sure.  All I know is that it was terribly cold this morning, compared to usual.  Well, not seasonally.  It could easily be 0, or even ten to twenty below, from time to time, this time of year.  Just, I guess, from recent norms?  Something.

Every waterer which still had water was frozen.  The rabbits did what they could, but there was a limit.  Still, they were all exceptionally happy with the waterers, with fresh water, warmed from being indoors.  Happy furry four footers, to be sure.  None of them were out of food, strangely.  But that is fine too.  Still, I added in extra.  To make sure it will last until tomorrow morning.

In an hour or two, I will test blood sugar, then begin prep for whatever I will eat.  I am really thinking a steak and salad.  If so, then I will have a cheese and deli meat dinner.  I just haven't had a steak in such a long time, that I really want one.  As well, I may fry burger, and keep that for throughout the week, for taco salad or even spaghetti.  Oh, no worries.  I have made purchase of various keto noodles.  They won't be great, but perhaps they will do?  I have four different kinds.  Will just have to find out.  I didn't remember to obtain spaghetti squash, but that is on the list, in time, as well.

I really am doing well, both with eating, medicine, and insulin.  I would really like to keep up on that.  Heaven knows, if I have to be here, I might as well make the most of it, as is possible.  Lord knows I have tried.  To be honest, I think the world has given up trying to kill me.  As did I a very long time ago.  I understand, as probably they finally do, death is a God thing.  Some of us are simply required to suffer life in all it's forms.  I have submitted to that, perhaps they have too?  Useless?  To the world, yes.  A burden?  Then again, who isn't?  Aye.

Anyway... so it is going.  I am excited for dinner.  I think I will bake the steak for an half hour, at 350, wrapped in foil.  Then fry both sides in hot oil, until there is a good crust.  I will vary times and degrees until I can get a medium, medium rare, right in there.  But actually generally cooked, not so raw as I am like to do otherwise.  Just... an odd way of things.  I may, if I get the kitchen cleaned, try the water bath method, to precook it.  Then fry to finish.  Oh, I suppose, I could even try the air fryer.  I'm looking for a perfect fit and finish, and the easiest, surest, and best end product.  Well, and of course, there is grilling.  *licking my chops*

Back to gaming.  Now that my fingers have thawed.  I need to find gloves, for when I go out in that.  Silly lad, forget the easiest of details at times.  Later.

I was so sure.

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Down right at 16:50?  Okay, I thought it was 16:00.  Texts tell you when, and I signed off with a final text at that time.  Crashing immediately after.  Slept like a rock, so hard that one pillow ended up being enough for whatever reason.  And, just now waking at 4:00, pretty much on target.

I worked yesterday.  I did much.  Not heavy, all of it, but much more activity than I have been able to see myself through to for many months.  Just getting to town and groceries, alone, has been the sum of my heavier work load days for months.  Ugh.  And, yes, my body feels it today.  But, lightly oddly.  Just like a minor, regular, workout... not like a marathon.  Gently used, is how I would put it.  A good feeling.

The lights are working.  A steak was offered, and Santa took it.  Keep the milk and cookies?  :)  I found an easier extension cord, but may look for another, and my timer.  Borrowing one of his, for the time buying... for expediency.  Gratefully.  Still, would like to see a preferred extension cord and my timer might be found and employed.  If only while trying to do other things?  It's a matter of... pride?  Not the bad kind, but... yes.  I tire of being in need all of the time.

I won't say days and nights are switched.  My schedule is wholly unstable when first switching.  It could flip back, or move forward two, five, ten hours... in a moment.  But, for today, it seems to be switched to daytime.  Or... mostly.  A 04:00 wake up, and twelve to sixteen hours of awake time, means a day schedule... assuming I don't crash around noon, and stay down until midnight or something.  It happens all the time.

Oh, what I was sure about?  I was sure, somehow, that blood sugar would be ugly t his morning.  For good, or no, reason whatsoever.  My sacrifice of fries, and even buns, would have been for naught.  I just knew it.  Still, I took it before I might eat or drink anything that might, somehow, skew the results.  And... sure enough... 106 fasting?  WTF?

That screwed up my whole pessimism scheme!  Oh my gosh though.  Seriously?  I have been aiming very solidly at keto, low carb, no sugar, even cutting artificials or alternatives to near nubs.  I have been eating carefully, watching things, choosing less, better, right.  And it is paying off.  Difficult to do, when I can't always make it to the store, or elsewhere.  But it is paying off.  Bigtime.

The only one fasting read I remember being lower, I think, was a 103, once, very long ago.  Jean commented on it, too.  Once, in all the years I have been trying.  Or,, since the last time I became diabetic.  Crazy.  Cheese sandwiches, chia breakfasts, and a pseudo regular supper, including a potato once or twice a week?  Yep.

Now to tweak even that.  Turn the three meals into two slightly bigger meals, and move them closer together, eating only for eight, then six, hours a day.  And, cutting calories in the doing.  Perhaps, in time, even moving to one meal a day, and adding one and two day fasting every seven to fourteen days... as much for health as sacrifice.

I... am almost sure I can, at least when medicine becomes... stable.  Still looking for the last heart medicine to bring bp under control.  Will see if this one I have loaded into my medset will be the one or will have to look for another.  At least, this time, I have been through one that took me down too far, so have an idea how to... possibly... manage that.  Heaven knows, I am doing as I can.

So... yes.  A very good day, and month.  Now to extend that to a very good year.  It only took them, then me, nearly 35 years to find a... path back to maybe something of a life?  Why they didn't just tell me it was heart problems from the start?  That was evil.  And, yes, I do blame the general medical.  For it wasn't just the Navy, the VA and civilian medical both had to know it was a bad heart, and completely ignored it.  It was a medical decision to just let me die.  Evil.  I guess medicine has been corporate for a very long time.  All of my adult life, at least.  So be it.

Anyway.  Today?  Well, I'll wake a bit, then maybe set up some dishes.  I may fry a steak, as a gift for work well done.  When the sun is up, or as close as it might get, I'll get the rabbits fed and watered.  The cats, and their litter, shortly... probably as I do a chia breakfast... I'll have the steak for lunch... on or with salad.  Then, maybe, boxes?  I can hope.  Good morning and day, night if your on the other side.  

Well, bedtime, no choice.

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Amazed I was up this long.  It is 16:10.  Now, I am extremely exhausted.  This isn't stealing back the day so much as crashing through reason to finish some projects and requirements.  Unsound, I tell you.  But I got so very much done.  How I could have possibly thought I could have done more is beyond me.

I did get chores done.  I may check waterers tonight, but not food.  I am transferring feeding from evening to morning, the literal sorts.  Since I am encroaching into day again.

I wanted to stay up, to see if blood sugar would spike on the fast food, even without the bun and soda.  I just knew it would.  But, to find out how much.  Blood sugar was 115, without insulin.  I ate there, and find that fasting acting doesn't do much if taken a bit after a meal.  So... excellent!  An hour and an half, to two hours, after the meal, and blood sugar is super.  At least I know how I can eat.  My guess is just stripping the bun from a McDonalds burger should work just as well, but that will have to be tested.  Oh, I am quite happy.  I worried that my need for more food destroyed my keto and diabetes work.  But, no!

Now to begin watching calories.  Yes, that's the only way.  Not sure my willpower will work, but maybe.  As well, to squeeze my meals closer together, perhaps just two meals over eight, then six, hours again.  Fasting a few days a week or every other week after that.  I think I can.  I've done it before, just fell down for various reason.  Getting back to it.

Now I can sleep with a good conscience.  Goodnight, afternoon, and day.

Well, more.

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I went to do chores, but found I didn't have enough feed for a round.  So, I decided to head over to the coop.  Problem?  Fuel light was on.  Which meant... going to the coop, then to town if they didn't have feed again, would be a problem.  Actually, just going to town might be pushing the tank.

So, I decided to just go to town.  Beside feed, I wanted too look for more waterers, anyway.  They only had small and large.  I don't need more small?  Actually, I should have gotten them.  Bleh.  I did get some larges.  They had no mediums.  But that wasn't it.  Just the start.

Then on to the store.  Enough for a month, and change.  Save for veggies, which always have to be either bought fresh at least every two weeks, or gone without.  I did buy steaks.  Plenty of steaks.  As I am going back to keto, strongly, successfully, Those will be my treat, once, or occasionally twice, a week.  If I get hungry for fast food, that will be my diversion.

Now, I was hungry.  I have pushed, and worked, and... was hungry.  Though, thinking ahead, I meant to bring perrier.  But, forgetting that, I bought bubbly water at the store, nothing but carbon added.  Have to be careful, some of those sure sound like just bubbly water, but aren't.  Wow, almost put two in my cart, but then decided to check, and gladly and rightly so.  Some of those were worse than regular pop!

Anyway, I did stop at Wendy's.  Two doubles... I did say I was hungry, right?  Two of those, just the sandwiches, no pickles, on lettuce leaves.  Perfect.  Those and carb free waters.  Dirty keto?  Sure, but keto.

Everything is in, and up.  The rabbits will be fed before I go on to sleep.  I just need a break after bringing groceries and feed in.  This time I got 50# bags, and a little bit less, if still more expensive than the coop by half.  Still, I had to be sure.  After I go through the first bag, I'll go see about more local feed.  Local?  I suppose not, if they ship it in?  Anyway...  I'll give them a shot, again.

A bit toasted.  But... good.  I did send a text to the neighbor, with gratitude and a couple of questions.  He can't text, necessarily, while working.  I mean he could, but he generally doesn't.  Sound business practice, unless it is a critical thing, not just a general thing.  On break, or after work.  Good call.

Plus, it is 14:12... so I have stretched into the day.  I am not quite done.  Need a break, then to do chores.  Then, probably, to cool down and relax before I can sleep.  It's just how it goes.  Hope your day is going well.  I'll pray for your worries, some of you by name, even if you don't chat or even visit much these days.  Age can be a trouble, life a toil, and I can be... well... harsh.  Still, I'm pulling for you.  Amen.

Finally!

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I did make it to the post office.  Boy was that box full.  Plus, there was a package.  I was informed yesterday, and said I would be in.  I just made it this morning.  Had hoped to be out later, but getting the shower took... a while.  It was supposed to be the first thing of the day, ended up near the end.  So be it.

That isn't what the "Finally!" is about, however.  Gizzards.  I loved them, how my mother made them.  I have tried to make them... a dozen different ways?  I'd bet.  Never was I satisfied.  Well, today that changed.  I put them in aluminum foil, with salt, pepper, garlic and onion powders, and baked them for 45 minutes at 400 F.  Then I put coconut oil in a frying pan, got that good and hot, and put the gizzards in, with a bit more salt.  I fried each side for about three minutes on medium high.  Then, salted them just a bit more before digging in.

I was afraid the coconut oil would be offputting, with these.  Being that these really are a savory dish.  But, no.  That was fine.  I started worrying that I had added too much salt.  But, again, no.  These need salt.  And, while lard, a mild one, or tallow, would have been even better, this was a success.  I now know how to make gizzards.

Oh, and it looks like my neighbor got the Christmas lights up!  Last night?  The night before?  I am never sure when things happen.  I'll have to text him a thanks.

Getting a goodly little bit of projects done.  While I haven't gotten to boxes yet, I'm... digging my way in that direction.  I may go ahead and start feeding the rabbits in the morning, this morning.  Checking their waterers while at it.  I think I got litter tended, though may check again.  And, one final feeding?  More treats.  I sliced one of the gizzards, and offered it to the girls, but it just wasn't their thing.  More for me.

Later, or goodnight, morning, and day.  Amen.

Yes, finally.

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A shower, as well as else.  Very pleasing.  I'll have to get supper going in a bit.  Hungry, if not really.  I just know I actually do need to eat.  I have gotten thing sorted, foodwise, and am on a very good track.  I just need to get kefir back on track.  Which... might even be attempted yet today... tonight... this morning.

I was a little worried about blood sugar, with such a small lunch.  Just one cheese sandwich, an extra slice of cheese, and a handful of pork rinds.  But blood sugar is... good.  At 95 I simply can't complain.  And, no, I didn't take insulin.  It was too low.  Won't take it with supper, either.

You know, I think the gizzards, fried, on a bed of lettuce, with some dressing or other, does sound good.  I will bake them first, for say an half hour... just to get them done.  Then fry them.  I think that will work out best.  So hungry, but I have a few last things to do.  Then I can get to it.

I am surprised.  A quarter after seven, and dark out there, last I looked.  Not sure if it is just from overcast?  No... it... really is hitting.  I guess the weather makes it seem earlier in the season, so the sun being so late just doesn't make sense.  It is pretty heavy winter, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Gosh but I love those showers.  I wish I could figure out how to take them daily, or every other.  And bath once a week, that would be double splendid.  I love water, I suppose.  Then again, whatever I am doing seems to be helping.  Staying warm, dressing warmer... as needed.  Eating regularly, taking medicines including insulin, and moderating that.  I think I am at 38 cc's of the slow acting.  If that can get to the point where I don't need fast acting, that could be good.  And, if I could begin cutting even that, even better.  I still dream of clearing diabetes, again.  Not sure it is possible, can hope, and see.

Well... a quick task, then to check on the rabbits, then to supper.  Later.

Slow?

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As fast as I can, I suspect.  A bad heart really is a tough row to hoe.

Waterers all done.  I was surprised.  I thought it would take another bucket of water.  But, nope.  What I had worked.  Breakfast as usual.  It takes an half hour to hour to get that from start to the table.  But... I'm good with that.  A hot breakfast, or at least solidly warm.

Then the girls.  Their litter first, then feeding.  And, finally, when I was able to get to chores, fresh water plus an extra bucket for ongoing waterers.  And, after four or five hours, a second feeding.  chores were easy.  The closer group of rabbits... only one needed new water, and he wasn't completely out.  I may feed them in the morning, so I didn't mind leaving their waterers at half, though some of them had more than even that.  Running low on food, I'll check soon... the local coop.  If not, back to town.

It is chilly out there.  I would say below freezing, but not too far below.  Just enough that you know it's winter, not spring or fall.  Funny thing?  Winter, just like summer, requires more water!  To drink.  I have been drinking more than I had been through the mild fall season.  So, until I adjust, I may go up on the water pill.  Saw swelling in my feet, though that may have other causes as well... wearing slightly constricting longjohns seems to play a roll.  Just, did notice I had been drinking more, then sorted out why.  Cold or hot, on either extreme, requires more to drink.

None of that seems like much, but it did wear me out.  No shower yet, but that is the next thing on the list.  Then dishes, and maybe boxes?  With... my list getting shorter, those last two might actually get hit tonight.  I am playing games between work efforts.

I did get medicines, including slow acting insulin in.  With breakfast, I took 8 cc's of fast acting insulin?  Actually, 12 cc's, I think.  If that is too much, I'll begin cutting it to 10 or 8 cc's.  I'll check my blood sugar in about an hour.  I will have either another tuna salad for lunch, or a cheese and deli meat sandwich.  

I am hoping to have fried chicken gizzards for supper.  It's been a while, and those are among my favorite.  If they are too tough for you, boil them first.  Extra work, but it's up to you.  I love them.  Would have them once or twice a month if I could remember.  Hmm... would make excellent "croutons" on a salad, and go quite well with ranch, roquefort, a vinaigrette, or italian dressing.  Or... as I see things.

Well, back to gaming.  To get my breath back after chores and pales of water in.  Then a shower, blood reading, and lunch... or what passes for my lunch.  Good evening, night, morning...

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Blood sugar is 84.  Very good.  I can, at that range, cut to probably 8 cc's.  With lunch, of course, no insulin.  But another check in two to three hours, or more.  Right before supper, so I know whether I should dose or not.  

Up and trying to get at it.

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Late, was the hour.  If earlier to bed than hoped.  Still, with bills paid, trash and recycling out, and a few other things tended, I won't complain.  I did what I could and much of what was needed.  Some days that is all that can be had.  And, I was tired, and worn... if pleased.

It was 21:17 when I woke.  Later than wanted, but it will do, I suppose.  I would like to kick back into daytime, if possible.  As I am remembering that it is cold, and dressing more warmly, and bumping the furnace from time to time, that may be more possible.  Odd, but in the cold or even cool, sleeping through the day is something my body just does.

The cats have been fed.  The water is heating for breakfast.  When the girls are done, after I set breakfast to warm, I will get their litter cleared.  After breakfast, a shower.  Perhaps chores after litter, or after breakfast, depending on if I have the wind for it.  Ugh, but first I have to reset waterers.  Right.  I might do that right after litter, then see if I can do chores after that?  Something.  The goal is to get the little things out of the way as soon as possible, and get the rabbits fed shortly.

If my days are slipping, and I won't be able to feed the rabbits in the evening time range I prefer, I am thinking I will start feeding them in the morning, as I go to bed.  Just switch it to an earlier time.  I'd rather them slightly overfed for a day, than underfed for a while.  Oh, I need more rabbit feed, at that.  Ugh.

Blood sugar wasn't as good today, but still, at 138 fasting, it is... becoming better.  That is still the second best number in a very long time, and in a row.  And, I was snacking a bit too much on nuts, yesterday.  Pistachios and brazil, early then late.  though my meals were very low-carb... chia for breakfast, a two chicken thighs for lunch, and a tuna salad for supper?  And I only ate, probably, three ounces of nuts total.  Hmm...  Maybe it was that I was eating sort of all day?  Dunno, but, still, it's okay on the very good side of that.  It just needs some slight improvement.

Now for morning meds right away.  And I should get the slow acting insulin in.  I'll just do my best to take that in the evening, literally, between 18:00 and 22:00, but run it late, if my day is flipping, until I can be awake to the mid to late afternoon, then take it then.  It is tricky, living a life where control of schedule isn't possible.  No, don't even think I have choice.  Like a hamster, or cat, or... something.  I crash, and then wake, with very little control.  I can push, but that neither means I'll get what I was hoping, or keep it when I do get it.  Though I have noticed, when medicine is regulated, and once I have acclimated to the season, I can do better.  Winters, of course, are more difficult, with it sometimes being darker for longer.  Summer is actually helping, now that I am handling heat a bit better.  Ugh.

Well, on to some things.  Have a great day, night, morning, or... whatever your world or life is presenting to you.  Ciao.

Just about bedtime.

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Trash and recycling, as mentioned.  Cats and rabbits tended as needed.  A tuna salad as a final meal.  All medicines taken, as rightly as possible.  A rather good morning.  Certainly not everything I had hoped, but... some things.  A bloody nose is delaying bedtime a bit.  I'll give it just a bit then go on to bed.

Just an hour after supper, testing because I am beginning to crash and don't want to forget.  And it was a very good number.  At 98, I am not worried about going to bed.  Oh, well, some worries.  Just, I... think I can manage any potential problems.  I have probably only gone to bed with that low of a reading maybe... two or three times in my recent (the last decade) past?  So it's new territory.

I really am not doing all that much different.  It doesn't make sense.  I have been on even lower carb meals.  It's as if I was being sabotaged.  Or... something.  Whatever.  It is working now.  I'll just keep doing what I am doing, changing or adding things slowly and one thing at a time.

BP, I took that today.  It's a bit high.  I had to take it several times to get it a bit lower, but then I remembered... I missed the last four night medicine groups.  Or so.  Or recently.  One or two days back on it, at full blast, won't work.  And, these medicines don't quite take it all the way down, either.  Still, after a few tries (they do that at the doctors office) I got it to a... mostly passible low 130s/80s with a 78 pulse I believe.  It will do.

Then I got bills paid.  I have three bills I have to pay myself, and I pay by phone.  I should check utilities.  I am trying to stay up on things.  I did order my mother something for Christmas.  Should be there in plenty of time.  I just hope she enjoys.  Just little things she thought she might enjoy.

Not perfect, but not bad.  Now to rest for the rest of the... oh... one more thing to try to manage... car registration and house tax...  They sort of go together.  May try to do it online.  Not sure it will work.

Yes, now on to bed.  Good night, morning, and day.

Nice!

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For the first time in a while, I actually, definitely, got trash and recycling together and out.  I am not even sure if it is recycling today.  Doesn't matter.  Done!  While I was taking bags out, I checked the rabbits.  All have food, and most had water.  Save the doubled ladies.  So, I got them a bottle of fresh water.  They were low, was curious how long that would last at night, had hoped... while doing trash and recycling... I might check.  Actually, there was a very little bit left.  Even so, when you pair rabbits, best feed and water them well.  Or they may well kill each other.  A terrible lesson learned.  Though, even if you feed them very well, too many in too close of a proximity, and... they will kill each other as well.  Brutally.

I am hoping to have a salad shortly.  And maybe get a shower taken.  Oh, I try.  I might get to it.  If I get a shower, I really am hoping to set up some dishes.  Ugh.  I have been so fail, for so long.  I am dying to dig in.  I like to work.  Liking working and working are two different things.

Oh, it is 25 F out there.  I was worried the waterers would freeze, but I don't think so.  The rabbits drink just enough to keep it flowing through the night.  Most of them realize that it helps, so do it.  Rabbits aren't exactly the smartest creatures on God's green earth, but even a dunce figures out how not to be thirsty.  Hunger is a different thing, can't do much about that.  But water... can take a nip, from time to time, to keep it from freezing.

Yeah, a salad, some gaming, then a shower?  More gaming, setting up dishes, trying to stay up into the day, paying a few bills, and... all good.  Oh, may have to feed the girls.  With none of us really enjoying the chicken, which I very regretfully tossed, they will need something.  Perhaps redoing waterers, too.  And getting fresh water, from outside, for the girls.  Yeah.  We'll see.

Later.

Dinner wasn't great.

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Is chicken just lower quality?  Or did I overcook it?  Still, I had nearly two thighs.  Just... because.  I didn't eat anything else, really wasn't hungry enough for more.  I may have a salad in a bit.  Perhaps with canned tuna as well.  I didn't dose, take insulin, with the meal.  Testing blood sugar just now, though, and it is 112.  Very good.  If I have a tuna salad, I may well take a small dose, say 8 cc's of fast acting.

I'll try to get trash and recycling together and out to the curb.  Maybe a shower.  That'll be it, if I can get to it.  I best get going, they arrive early these days, or seem to when I am running late.  Fair enough, it's all luck of the draw if that seems to work against me.  Yea, best get to it.

Oh, even the girls really didn't like the chicken.  This isn't old, either.  I bought it perhaps two to three weeks ago.  It just isn't very tasty.  It was put in the freezer straight from the store.  And the thawing was mostly done in the refrigerator.  I added spices and herbs.  It just didn't taste very good.  Not bad, just... not good.

Well, on to trash and recycling.  Later or goodnight, morning, and day.

Chores, at least.

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Took a long time to get to chores.  Just finished.  But the rabbits were good.  Most still had water, all were waiting on food.  My goal, lately, has been to feed them sometime between 16:00 and 22:00.  Late, tonight, but it happens.  The girls have been fed twice, and treated.

The oven was turned on and up, in preparation for roasting chicken.  I don't think I have any veggies?  Ah, actually I have salad.  That will work.  With breakfast, I did dose a bit, a small dose, of fast acting insulin.  It looks like it hit it about right, and my after breakfast... pre-lunch... read is 107.

I can't remember the range my doctor wants blood sugar in the morning, fasting.  I think it between 80 and 100.  I'll give it a few days, just see where it goes.  If it stays, I'll add some more slow acting.  If it continues to lower, I will wait until it becomes somewhat stable.  Oh, but I best get in to the post office, see if my medicine is in.  A new medicine.

A shower, the rest of the trash out, and recycling out?  That is the hope.  As well, maybe start in on boxes.  There is no way I can do them all, but I can do... some?  I can hope.  I'll keep thinking on it.  Not sure I turned the furnace up.  If I didn't, I may.  Feeling a bit cold.  It isn't all that bad out there, just... cool enough to get to me.  Later.

Awake and moving.

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It was 18:28 when I woke.  Pretty early, considering I went to bed after 10:00, perhaps as late as noon.  I just can't remember, just that I definitely saw 10:00, and was awake at least an half hour after.  My mind was shutting down.  Those chops, and that stupid grill, kept me up far later than intended.

Testing blood sugar can rarely be good.  It is 128 fasting!  And is 155 for the weekly average.  I was worried the chops would throw it, so took a small dose with the meal.  Then was actually feeling a bit odd, so took some candies.  I kept it light, but it was, I hoped, a corrective.  It looks like I did pretty darned good.  Perhaps it would have been lower without the candies, but it might have been too low, or for me, quite yet.

It might be working better, as I am raising my slow acting.  I... we had set that up, for me to raise it, from the start.  But I had forgotten, that bit had gotten lost in falling off some or all medicine, summer heat, and other problems.  This last consultation with my doctor, he reminded me of that medical advice.  And, with everything going so well, it was done... or is being done, implemented.  I am up to 35 cc's.  

Going up slower.  It might even end up being sufficient, by itself, at a lower dose?  Maybe.  Maybe.  If I can keep on a low carb diet.  Then again... I keep hoping, in time, as I get better at keto, then intermittent fasting, perhaps I can reduce then eliminate insulin altogether.  It has happened, not sure it is possible again, these days.  But, maybe.  Weight loss would be a part of it, which is as much of the problem as anything else.  I ought to get back to that food app.  It really was helping.  Well, and I need to get back into kefir.  That stuff is a golden addition to my diet, in a dozen ways.

You can't just change numbers that have been of one's body for decades, quickly.  The body, itself, rejects lower blood sugar and lower bp.  It just doesn't like "new" things.  I am almost getting better at this.  My body is starting to get used to a lower bp and blood sugar, and eating less and better.  My metabolism is absolutely shot, I doubt if I even can lose weight.  But, who knows.

On the good side, of staying up way late, is that I was able to take my "night" medicine.  Today I am going to take 'morning' medicine right aw... done!  Sometimes I write, with intent, but nothing gets done.  Even taking medicines.  I have to do it right now or I will get lost in fog and it won't be done.

Water is heating, for breakfast.  I really need to start back with eggs.  I absolutely love eggs.  Perhaps boiling a dozen, for the week?  An easy way to prepare them.  Then, begin dishes and cleaning the kitchen so that I an fry some eggs, from time to time.  And, an excellent keto food.

Well... time to begin getting breakfast going.  Cleaning and clearing litter while at it.  I am wearing a fleece jacket today.  If you have to, just do it.  I need more warmth, or nothing will get done.  One more layer, I am hoping.  I keep the place at 70, bump it to 74 if I think it will help.  Lately, even that hasn't been helping.

Oh, a shower, too, after breakfast.  Yes.  Then chores, what is left of trash out, and recycling gathered and out.  I have to set goals.  I have to try.  Even if I fail, I am going to set up for, plan for, success.  I don't care if I fail every day but one in one hundred, or one thousand.  I will plan to win, to do, to work, every day possible.  Is today the day?  Let's find out.  Good morning, evening, and day, innit.

Up later than planned.

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As I was going to bed, I was about to put the thawing meat into the fridge.  The pork chops seemed thawed.  I was still hungry.  So... I started up the grill. Now, for whatever reason, getting the grill going today was a bear.  It took nearly two hours for it to really start.  It isn't that cold out there, around 38 when I started.  It just wouldn't start.

I checked it every twenty minutes.  Every other time, for several times, I had to restart it.  I've never had that much trouble, even when very cold.  At most I have to restart the coals twice.  Still, it finally got going.  And I finally got my chops.  Then, because I was tired, I overdid them a bit.  Still, it was okay.

I did take just spot of insulin.  Now on to bed.  Yea, I'll pray.  I said a little one as I was writing, but I like to say a follow up.  It'll be short and sweet, as I am awake way later than... is reasonable.  Who knows, it might help me kickstart getting back into daylight hours, even if just in the early part for a while.  All good.  Goodnight, good day, and good luck with your day.

Yea, well?

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Not much.  Blood sugar was 73 last time I checked it.  I'll check it in about an hour, see if food might be needed again.  Or something.  After that reading, I had three of those... crackers.  Cream cheese and some deli meat on top.  Will find out shortly if they create an insulin spike.  I definitely don't want to go to bed with a blood sugar in the 70s.  I am not sure about the 80s, either.  Though I may risk it in the 80s.  As blood sugar often, for me, goes up in the morning.  Or whatever passes for my morning.  But the 70s are too close to trouble.

The crackers are rather good.  I tried them without anything on them.  They have a mildly sweat, if naturally sweet, flavor.  If you have had rice puffs, or such, imagine a rye puff?  Something in that neighborhood.  And these are 13 carbs per three crackers.  There are other varieties which are 11 for two, for example... and among several types.  I am hoping these work out.  Nothing fancy, but as for carriers, or even crouton replacements, perhaps even crackers in soup, these may really work well.  I may try one as a crouton on a tuna salad if blood sugar is still a bit low.

The strange thing is, I dosed rather lightly, and only once.  I had two meals and a snack of an ounce of brazil nuts.  I could say, plus a fatted coffee, but that was actually part of a meal.  Oh, and eyes are clearing up a great deal.  It's been off and on, but the last few days it has been much more on than off.  Not sure if that was the new medicine which was dropped, or blood sugar clearing up?  No, blood sugar has been controlled, while vision was blurry.  Pretty sure it was the canceled medicine.

I suppose I could feed the girls one more time.  If they beg.  I sort of wait for that, unless I know enough time has passed.  Sometimes they don't beg.  Actually, I sleep extra long at some point.  I won't get much done before sleep.  I turned up the heat, but just couldn't get warm today.  I really think that is part of it.  If, too, I don't think the cold is environmental... it's my body not keeping warm, for whatever reason.

Carbs, I know, will help keep the body warm, if it has a price.  I need to find low carb foods which help.  Tea can help, a bit, for a bit.  But whatever is wrong just doesn't even allow that to warm the body for long, or all that well.  And, I can't drink it fast enough.

My sweeteners don't help.  Monkfruit and erythritol, allulose (a new trial type), liquid stevia and sucralose (only allow two drops per day, usually, though occasionally a few extra drops for coffee or a second chia breakfast of such).  None of those offer a fast burning item, if the liquid sucralose will cause a blood sugar spike if used more than I suggest, sometimes).

Oddly, even potato doesn't help.  My body runs cold, now.  Good for the summer, not as good for the winter.  I need to figure out how to warm up!  I am wearing double layers, a long sleeve shirt, warm socks, something on the feet besides, and a winter cap.  Do I really need to wear a fleece jacket too?  Or a bathrobe around?  Meh, may have to try it.  I NEED to be warm!  Can't seem to get to work without something more than what I have.  May have to turn the furnace up a bit more, or for a bit in the "morning"?  On top of more clothes?  Maybe.

Oh... I did a blood draw a bit early.  Though that probably means more twenty minutes shy of two hours, than one as it might seem.  Still, the draw was doable at 116!  And, weekly average is running at 157.  Very good numbers.  And I can sleep with that.  I expect 'morning' numbers to be high.  But this, this is good.  That was, pretty much, a heavier, if keto, meal with no insulin.

I missed medicine again today.  I had thought I took it, but didn't.  When I went to take night meds, I realized the problem.  Too late to take both, so... again... night meds will be missed.  Won't risk doubling up this close.  If it were five hours, I might try it.  But not one or two.  Terrifyingly heavy, these meds, not to be trifled.

Yes, now I can go on to bed comfortable that I won't die, or struggle to get sugar in me.  Even thinking of that stuff... I hate loving sugar, but I really do.  The longer I am away from it, the more I want it... at least when I smell or think about it.  With tobacco, when I got away from it I was gladly away from it.  Then again, I... haven't really escaped sugar.  It is in almost everything, naturally occurring sometimes, if more often manufactured.  I wonder if even meats aren't getting sugar added somehow.  They mean to kill us.

Goodnight.  I'll put some prayers in.  For some of you ladies, that your life, music, and loves be good... from family to friends.  And that you gents are finding life interesting, and yourself able... even if just able to sleep well, think as you prefer, and perhaps enjoy a woman, or your woman.  Well, and for those who hate me?  I pray you figure out what I did ages ago... hate only hurts you.  It'll never hurt me, even, especially, if you use it to murder me.  Odd that, but true.  Goodnight, sleep well, dream as you prefer, and maybe see you on the other side.