Well, slowly getting there.

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A shower, the litter cleared and extra added.  The girls have been fed and treated aplenty, but, really, every four to six hours is fair.  Just letting my hair dry, before chores.  As well, letting the waterers warm just a bit more.  I know, late is the hour, and the waterers probably froze, maybe later in the night.  Then again, maybe they were able to keep the water flowing through most of the night.  It being just below freezing, not far below... last I checked.

The low bp is a bit unnerving.  It does slow me down, just as cold does.  Hopefully it isn't the way it will be.  Though I can't imagine it being that low as a sort of outlier reading.  If it is that low, still, tomorrow, I will stop a smaller portion of the carvedilol.  Though, if that doesn't raise it enough, or at all, I am not sure whether to halve the new pill, or the old new one.  Though, to be honest, I think cutting the new one... either splitting the pills and taking half, or taking one per day instead of two.  There are three options.  I'm not sure which is most potent, or needed.  Tricky stuff.

I need to eat something shortly.  Take a dose of insulin with it, but a small one.  I may only take 4 cc's with a fatted coffee.  And, I may try to coconut milk instead of cream, just to see how it tastes, works.  A bit rough today.  But... this sort of rough is better than many of my typical days from just months ago and on back.  This is a blessedly light suffering.  It's still suffering, but not nearly as bad as it has been or could be.

It does amaze me, remembering how bad things were, for so long.  I understand there was more to not committing suicide than just giving up on trying.  Realizing God was real, in charge, didn't want that, and more.  But, even that... I have endured pain on a scale most will never understand.  Just having some semblance of tranquility, sanity, an inner and outer peace?  I don't understand.  Even when it hurts, now, and for quite some time.

Well, I suppose I should get to it.  Then go on to bed.  Coffee first, just to warm a bit.  The chores and bed.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.