Dinner, almost.

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New and strange items going into my diet.  Some arrived today, others have been in stock for a bit.  Cod liver oil?  Sounds horrendous.  I bough the right stuff, flavored with lemon.  In reviewing health issues, this and other things, kept popping up.  Another item will be nutritional yeast.  A vegan thing, often, but that obviously isn't my gig.  I'm after natural vitamin B's.  I am taking synthetics, which are as likely to be hard on my system just like other medicines.  And ghee, to go into my fatted tea.

Now, I can make ghee, and a lot cheaper.  I wanted to see what I am dealing with, if it works for me, and whether I can tolerate it.  Well, also, what it is, so as to reverse engineer the product when making my own.  More expensive up front, better results in the long run.  Will also use it in cooking.  I don't like using just one fat.  Mixing and matching by taste, possibly textural results, heat level, and to keep negatives of any particular fat to a minimum.

Next month ginger, turmeric, and Ceylon cinnamon are being added.  Remember what your doctor would say if he wanted you healthy, as animal vets do... it's your diet.  Can medicate symptoms, sometimes as with my heart a disease, but often your best treatment and prevention will be on your plate.  Doesn't have to be more expensive, or not much more.  If doctors and dieticians have been corrupted, and remain so, regarding good, right, human nutrition.

I am still debating sous vide.  It'll be a long time before money is available for that, so I will keep... reviewing the idea.  I need to get the kitchen in some sort of order first anyway.  Now that I am doing better it is going to happen.  Choices, in life, for life?  I sure hope to figure a few things out.  I might be treading water until I can't, but I think I can learn to do with greater ease, less... fear.  It's just a mortal fear but it would be good to soothe it.

Oh, as someone remembered...  Perhaps it will add sense to the seeming nonsensical?

Later.

Better today.

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Still a bit sore, heartwise.  Getting better.  Rest helped.  Down a bit after 9:30, up at 16:30.  Seven hours again?  I feel the need for more sleep.  It seems that when my body gets food and medicine, and other basic needs, it needs less sleep.  My mind might quibble, if I think that is more want than need?  I think so, or I'd push back to sleep... can't.  When prime, my body shaves to six hours sleep.  If I am more prone to becoming grumpy, if tons more productive.  That used to be more true.  As is, I am more likely to not be able to be active, instead to stay awake longer, thus the slip in schedule.

A strange dream... after Christ's return.  Some stayed, others were returned?  I think so.  I believe I had been returned... but was... different.  Don't ask.  There were others here... remainers who chose not to believe.  Far more of them than us.  No conflict... the war was won.  God was collecting us to Him.  Letting us know where to go, providing the means.

A long drive.  No truly clear directions, and with the confusion of having others on the roads, not necessarily going our way.  Faith, mostly, driving to meet up with Christ.  What for?  What would this new life be?  What about the nonbelievers?  So many questions.  Still just silly humans.  I... think I had been completed as human as part of the change in my return.  Uhrm, mostly.

The last of my dream was driving on, without an exact destination, with others in the car.  We had worn out questions, exuberance, and all else, each of us retreating to our quiet places in our minds.  A little fear, that we might get lost, or miss the appointment, but majority near certainty that we were about to meet our Maker and begin the life we should have always known.

It was a fantastic Christmas present.  I don't need it for my faith.  All i need faith for is to direct action.  For I am certain God.  It is good for hope, and bolsters charity, somehow.  I thought to share it.  Perhaps it strikes a chord among others.

Well, on to the day.  Back to work?  Waking first, then yeah.  Have a great day.

Back to the past via the future.

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If no true straight path is... as it seems.  So as with time, even sin.

Someone remembered.  Either forgot to try to hide their tracks, or are of the portion who don't know how... or meant not to hide.

What is shes up to?

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Shes.  Womans.  Singular plurality?  Think Legion, one or another type, probably both, perhaps more.  It's what I have faced my whole life.  Trouble... inside, out, incoming, outgoing, and all around in every direction.  It was for a reason, I see that clearly now.  Amen.  Still... or... to clarify.  Mostly incoming, if a few in response.  Odd what shows up on my proverbial doorstep all at once.

Beautiful, exquisite, pain.

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Something about finishing and submitting the paperwork.  I had to struggle all this time, months, to do it.  And while I am certain they will say it is too late, or didn't get it... again... I know I did it and have a paper trail that will pit them against the postal service.

Now, having finished the task, it feels as if a taloned fist which had been gripping my heart, right to shredding into it, has been released.  While the release is wonderful it is also terrible.  Blood seems to be flowing into areas previously denied.  As with sitting or laying upon a limb, which then falls asleep, opening that back up is excruciating.  So it is.

I was up long, doing the chores so as to even get out.  That all almost wore me down beyond capacity to act.  But I pushed through.  When I crashed, even that hurt.  Aspirin, now that I think of it.  Yeah, more later if need be.  I crashed after 13:00, before 14:00, I think.  Woke around seven hours later, about on the dot if my bollocks were on risk and I had to say.

More sleep would have been good, some choices aren't ours.  Food, soon.  A salad, avocado, and meatloaf?  Yeah, but a smaller fatted tea first.  I found avocado oil locally, picked up peanut oil, a few good things on top of vinegar needed for the household.  Particularly for a possibly soured washing machine.  Ugh.

Cheeses too, oh... and sugar free reserves, to try.  They may still drop keto or exacerbate blood sugar, but worth a try.  Keto pancake toppings so I don't have to make my own syrup, or every time.  Yeah, as a check-out lady noted, it is a bit pricey... But for one, and eating less, plus less and less waste?  I think it works out better than it sounds.  That is what I suggested to her, and believe.  I... think she bought it and liked the notion.

Ugh.  Hurts.  Later.

Pushing and pulling.

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Dead in the water.  I did some laundry, dishes, took a shower, mostly shaved, and got the paperwork done and in the mail, plus did a small shopping trip.  Absolutely burned up and out.  I'll have to settle a bit before crashing.  But, finally, I am done for the month.  Gah... blood work hasn't been done.  After Christmas I'll figure that all out.

Later.  Probably good night, and day.

Slower on food tonight.

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A fatted tea, then meatloaf and a potato.  Next another fatted tea.  Keto was up to 80, if diabetes was remaining high.  Not sure if dinner will upset that.It didn't jump much after the fatted tea, but it was high to start.  I don't want that weird pain in my abs, center (my) left.  It feels like an organ, or an occasional hot poker... if it only burns and on the inside.  Who knows.  It does seem to have quieted a goodly bit.

A rotation of laundry, then dishes.  Everything that had been soaking in any way.  Then dinner and a break for the laundry to run.  A shave and shower next.  Then load a number more batches of dishes and cycling laundry.  But first another warm fatted tea and perhaps an ounce of macadamia nuts.  Those really are good.

Something I thought about for a long time but wasn't affordable when I used to check, is a sous-vide device.  Especially if steak s are going to become more of a mainstay.  Actually it helps with chicken or duck too.  Fiddly, mind you.  The searing remains.  It does have advantages.  I like to try things.  Well, and the prices have seriously dropped, some Even sub one hundred... hobby available... when, if, the other income can be restarted.  Federal employee union problems.

Anyway... I will hit the paperwork and take that in tomorrow.  Dishes, laundry, shower, partial shave, and maybe getting the trash out.  It's wearing me out, but the weekend and Christmas approach.  I need to find my bible and decide which readings and prayers to include.  Lighting a new candle each day.  Probably not keeping them lit all day.  It sounds like a good way to celebrate.

Later.

A bit rough.

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No serious troubles.  I am not actually complaining, just noting reality.  Something hurt last night.  An organ.  The more I have pushed to eat the worse it has gotten, definitely starting yesterday night.  I may back down consumption just a bit.  More with smaller doses than less frequency, for now.

I am rather warm.  I don't think it has to do with outside temps warming.  Maybe insulin, which is high... though it doesn't feel like that.  My bet?  I am increasing both brown fats and circulation.  Why do I suspect that over insulin?  My feet are warm at 49° to 68° F, without socks.  My feet have been like blocks of ice the rest of this winter, until the last several days.  It's nice to be comfy at 68 or less.

Blood sugar was higher this morning, at 278.  But it was down to 191 at bedtime... a new low.  I tested fasting, of course, but immediately after waking.  That will add twenty five to even a hundred points over testing a few hours after waking... tea or nothing, doesn't matter.  And food will kick it up then often knock it much further down... the right foods, at the right times.

Oh, ringing in the ears, tinnitus, heavy this morning.  Sometimes, especially on medicine, I lose that for longer stretches.  Vivid dreams, visions, falling off meds, and a few other things can bring it back.  This time?  If I had to guess?  Hers.  Multiples I think.  Responses arrived.  Women are shameless.

I did get quite a lot, given the givens, done yesterday.  More today.  Oh?  Fine.  Responses.  The new ones anyway.

Question? Answer?

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She likes to play, just... not coy.

Rather good.

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Dinner, the meatloaf.  And I really don't favor meatloaf.  Now  had a mix of lamb and pork, added a tablespoon of an Italian based spice blend and onion granules, two teaspoons of garlic and ginger, and use mozz instead of the listed cheese by availability.  How much difference any of that made, who knows.  I cooked it to nearly 160 internal temp.

I have over an hour more to eat, so probably will hit a smaller fatted tea.  I need calories, and more fat than not... by a lot.  Then a bit of a break, to digest, then to work.  Paperwork first.  If there is a chance for that, it is timing out fast.  I think I can, and move on to clearing then using the shower.  Then sleep if possible before more later today.

With the rebate I ordered some things to try, cod oil, a few other things, and this year candelabras, with which to celebrate the twelve days of Christmas.  I... set up my calendar system to remind me.  Forgot Thanksgiving.  I'll put that in for next year and celebrate a late Thanksgiving in late January or March.  Yeah, that works.

Ugh.  I doubt if I ate 1,600 calories, with the fatted tea.  And yet I am stuffed having consumed it over seven hours.  This last fatted tea should put me at just over 2k calories.  Remember, 4.4~4.6 k calories is technically maintenance.  Eating less actually makes it harder to lose weight... the engines have no fuel and the body can't build more engines (muscle).  I am hoping this will be enough.  It's the biggest non-junk food meal I have had... if I can get the last fatted tea in.  Yeah, a strange sort of starvation where you gain or hold excess weight.  It's my story, sure of it.  Not alone.

They want us to kill ourselves with excess.  Get rich, make room, save the planet.  Earth firsters and the evil greedy are about to be proven deadly wrong, win, lose, or draw.  Hubris is not your ally.  This is seriously going to hurt, but not those you believe you have tricked and stolen from.

Later.

Did not want to get up.

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It wasn't the pain. I am used to it, and it is on the milder side today.  Not always as good as that might seem.  More severe pain gives me more of a springboard from which to get a stronger start.  That wasn't it today.  Part of it was hunger.  Far too early to eat, I often try to sleep through it if I can.  But more, I have been able to sleep longer lately, and wanted to sleep longer.  It is nearly forty outside.  That, or better feeding, perhaps other things, are reducing the need for sleep.

I think, by brute force, I was able to sleep almost six or seven hours.  Sleep?  No, stay down.  I probably got in slightly more than four or five hours of sleep.  What almost seems worse, is that for as aggravated as I am about the shortened sleep, I am very well awake, rather aware, comfortably and ably conscious is how I refer to it when focused.  It's, when it occurred, what led me to engineering school.  This sort of focus capacity is what will save or destroy the mundane world.

Meant to be positively creative, and would be save for sin and choice.  Not all men, and pretty much no women swim here no matter their IQ.  It isn't of their design.  It is for sons.  Only.  Though it also isn't IQ based.  I have seen men with lower IQ but with higher demand and a choice between hide and thought prove IQ to be... well... academic.  And, of course, the doers over thinkers... at the very least in worldly function.  The contemplative has it's place, but without action it is as dead as faith without works.  But all action?  Ask any good wife and mother.  She almost knows nothing else.  If so, her selflessness truly makes her among the most blessed.  All simply from doing.  Yes, I do disagree with doctors of the church on this... if too, it shouldn't be exalted or she will demand her due and destroy her value, as the West has learned.  Actually, by church luminaries making such claims... possibly part of the problem there.  The head crowned by it's own hands is bound for the guillotine.  Amen.

What?  Just thinking out loud.

Tea, for now.  The ducks were watered before 8:00 and checked.  All looks good.  Fresh water this evening and left out.  The girls will be tended.  I have relented regarding canned food.  Two will be split out for them most days.  I think as it warms they need more food.  When Sam, the house marm, begs, I trust it as need not want.

I am hoping to work today.  I really am hoping.  With cognitive up?  It takes several steps beyond that.  If that means the possible is available.  The engine, oil, gas, drive, are all there.  It still takes some planning, assembly, application to get it done.  I sure hope so.  Later.

Fear.

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Taking my final blood sugar reading... I just knew I blew it.  The last fatted tea, and chocolate cake with so many extra carbs?  No way it would be good.  I decided against taking it at the hour mark.  But over two hours and it would be peak or falling.  It usually, if high carbs were consumed or when my readings are over 200... especially both, peaks between one and two hours.  I wanted to see the worst, so at one and three quarters hour I tested.

It was 213.  Couldn't think whether that was good or evil.  So focused on it being bad I was in a fog.  Then, no!  It had only increased by two points from my lowest in nearly the week I've been testing.  Heck yeah.  Must not have been the amount or type of carbs which cause problems.  Wild.

Now nothing but unsweetened tea or water until 18:00 or later.  Some suggest there is nothing special about sixteen or more hours fasting.  For my money anything less is a waste of time.  I don't see results.  Three days is the best for lowering blood sugars, but is a bit too tight for every week.  Once to three times a month, if I've been truly running keto.  Another week before I can, will, try.  Yeah.

Focus is returning.  I think work is getting a lot closer.  I'm still lagging... but almost going.  It is the difference between life and death.  I'll check bp.  Bleh, 155/109 on the gooder arm.  I've been on meds, so... it's the watching that finishes bringing it down.  It's partially psychosomatic.  If I can, I'll add testing back in.  Gah.

Later, or good night.

Wwwwwhack!

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Out of the ballpark.  Gone.  A couple hours after dinner and... blood sugar is down 55 points.  At 211 from fasting.  I ... well the direction, given meal proximity?  Yeah.  Good.  I am about to dig into the chocolate cake thing.  I used the second one, if I won't again.  It has way more carbs than  advertised.  The three tablespoons of sweetener?  Yeah.  Even at teaspoons, for most sweeteners, that is more carbs than adverted.  Perhaps it was a mistake, and this thing will be a monster, too sweet to even eat.  I like the recipe otherwise, if I'm not sure I trust it for other reasons... including that there is no flour.  I just wonder if the eggs will produce more of a souffle?

I gave it an extra five, but it hasn't set.  I turned the oven off and am letting it stay in it with the heat off and door open.  It... may be bogus.  I did put it in early, before it reached 350.  I might have time to try the other if so.  Yes, I have about three more hours.  I want more food in, if possible.  Ugh.  Perhaps an ounce of macadamia nuts too.
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Okay, a few things.  The recipe I used worked.  It tastes better if you enjoy darker chocolate.  I am, even so, well satisfied... other than the massively undercounted carbs.  It truly is a molten chocolate cake.  I might be able to cut the granular, adding sucradrops to amend the carb count.  Still, it is good to enjoy a mostly conscientious chocolate dessert again.  As to baking time?  Living at altitude has it's affects... which I nearly perfectly danced around, even blindly.  My eye for the right wiggle is still acute.  Ladies should be cautious... or... not.  *wink*  oh, and adding nuts would send this... pecans, macadamia, walnuts... oh yeah.

Later.

Oops!

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Coconut flour, before and after an egg wash, just doesn't do well.  I should have done one of the chops in crushed pork rinds.  As was, neither were palatable.  Thankfully I had a steak thawed.  I must admit my oven then pan searing technique is far superior to my grilling efforts.  It was delicious.  I've had a fatted tea, will probably have another.  With the steak I will call that good.  I'll check blood sugar in an hour.  That should be the high point, though as blood sugar drops, blood sugar can drop even more while eating keto and doing intermittent fasting.  Time will tell.

Tomorrow I plan on a mixed meat meatloaf... beef, lamb, and pork.  This time I will be using pork rinds as a bread crumb replacement.  Garlic, Italian seasonings, eggs and cheese, perhaps worcestershire sauce?  I'm never sure.  If I can get to a few things tonight, I am hoping to begin bone broth tomorrow.  It would be a fantastic addition to my liquids.  Can't afford coffee this month, maybe next.  Still, broth will be welcome.

I'll need practice with chops, in any case.  I have done my best with the grill, with those.  I am beginning to think baking meats of those thicknesses, then getting a char however possible, is best... gets it more done without drying or burning.  It's been a while since I cooked, and it's cold.  We'll see.

I might try a microwave mug cake.  Just... to seee.  Might do it in the oven though.  I really am suspicious of the microwave, especially concerning fats.  Yes, a keto, not cheat'o, recipe.  Fie, I'll add several.  Not sure which.  Later.

Control levers.

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Still a hundred too high, and change if absolutes are equated.  My blood sugar is 266.  That is a hundred drop from the last three days, two hundred less from the day before, which was several days after going to regular food if at very irregular times, without patterns in sleep or consumption.  It is the lowest number since I started checking again.  Required, as I had to begin eating and that was the only way.

Still, a one hundred point drop, overnight?  Excellent.  There was one before it, but that was fast food leaving my system.  This is from literally controlling what and when I eat. The first day of it.  I am about to get a fatted tea, then start the grill.  Or, the grill will wait a bit.  I had beets yesterday.  I love them, but not for every day.  No sugar added actually makes a huge difference, for can items.  I can eat all canned fruits and veggies that I have found that are packaged clean that way without serious blood sugar spikes.

Wait, I will be pan frying tonight, so no grill.  Sure heats faster.  But it is messier.  Perhaps I should get my outdoor propane stove set up.  It's elevated, heavy duty, and says 100k heat output (which would only really be wanted for my massive canner).  Still, better to have more and turn it down than not enough.  Though, at near freezing outside, it might need that extra to get started.

Yeah.  If ill, doing poorly, look to food.  Sugar is a killer, carbs are slow or fast sugars, really.  Like Ozzy sang, at least, wine is fine but whisky is quicker.  Goes for all sugars.  If it's all you have?  At least avoid the smooth stuff!  Two hundred in four days though?  Crazy, especially trying to stuff the food down.  It's all about what and when you eat.

Later.

Up early?

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I can't be sure.  Besides, my sleep and wake cycles are twisted, in every way.  From lengths to numbers a day.  Exhausted and confused from the time I wake until... always.  Working through things in little ways.  Doing what I can, then some, if it isn't much.  Food, currently since medicine is back to regularity, is the target.  I'll have fatted tea for breakfast in an hour or two as I get the grill going.

It's 35° F out there.  Not quite warm.  The problem with being just above freezing when snowy and icy, is all that thaw goes into the air.  What makes an air conditioner  (an electric air cooler, perhaps, where you live)?  Well, it depends on higher humidity.  So, for a natural air conditioner such as the weather, a greater humidity will add to the feel of cold.  Does for me anyway.  If it hit 45°, then it truly feels warmer.  That's my story.

A bit of raw tea as I wake, plus medicine.  Setting up for a hot tea.  Ugh.  It's a rough world lately.  I think I am headed towards better days.  Just need to get back in the saddle.  Food.  As any real physician would know, but only animal vets will practice... start off with food.  If that isn't up for discussion, leave or milk them for symptom but not disease treating pills.

With the magic of the intertubes, everything is done, though fatted tea is still a bit off.   A shower, after more dishes.  Laundry, food, and some work on a desk, then computer setup?  Maybe.  Or not.  Those things are planned in any case.  Oh, aspirin again today. Oh, I may try to do a smashed pork rind 'breaded' pork chop tonight.  Trying to make them more appetizing.  Hmm... Perhaps try one that way, the other drenched in coconut flour?  Deep frying both.  Maybe.

Later.

Insomnia to the rescue?

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Actually, sort of, probably.  I really wanted to sleep.  Couldn't.  I realized right as the window of opportunity was about to close that I could get a last meal in.  I had another fatted tea, and a regular tea with artificial sweetener through to then.  I am trying to only use that in every other tea, and only during "meal time", the eight hours when food is allowed.

Anyway, I was able to eat.  I finished off two thirds of what remained from the first meal... not much to be honest.  An hour after the last meal and my blood sugar is the lowest for the day, if still way too high.  Nary another calorie, or even artificial sweetener, until 16:00 or later if I'm not up to it.  I don't mind stretching if it isn't too brutal.

But, yes.  To control diabetes both what I eat and the right volume is crucial.  I am most likely eating to few calories, even pushing.  Enough to both begin controlling blood sugar and opening up my appetite to gain even more control.  As well, I am hitting the fat to protein to carb ratios... or getting ballpark ranges.

I am absolutely stuffed.  I'd really like to sleep.  I... can't.  Insomnia is turning into a double edged sword.  It is a negative aspect of the initial stages of ketosis, as is lethargy, lack of concentration, flu like symptoms.  I can hope it is ketosis.  Keep pushing through.  Ugh, it's been an ugly winter.  I have had worse.

Later, or good night.

Difficult to eat.

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A couple of pork chops and a steak.  I planned to save some of it for tomorrow or later.  I was only able to eat one chop and a third of the steak.  My favorite foods, done right, didn't matter.  I thought i was hungry.  I guess not?  Another fatted tea, it adds something.  There is actually an opportunity to eat another meal before the eight hour window closes.  I have a bit over four hours.  And I will try, if I can't see it as I feel.  Better to shove something in the belly than become desperately hungry later.

I just don't want to eat.  I feel no need.  And, yet, I do... what I would call a ghost hunger.  More like, perhaps, akin to what people have lost limbs must feel, something from nothing.  Even fluids have been hard to get down.  So difficult to be absolutely stuffed on so little and yet still crave... but crave ghost things as well.  Nothing I could eat or drink would satisfy, only increase suffering.

More, I believe it is time to go to bed.  Ducks and girls have been fed, watered, and several times.  I'll take medicine before crashing.  Oh, and clean litter.  I hope to wake in a bit.  So much for a later dinner.  Later or even later, perhaps good night.

Sleeping on notions.

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One of the notions found, which annoyed me profoundly, was the idea that intermittent fasting wasn't necessary.  Oh, I get it.  Some people don't need it, and, really, exploring what really does and doesn't work is, honestly, a wise thing.  However, for me, currently, i.f. is better than not.

Why get annoyed?  Because I am having a hell of a time with my planned eating, as well as sleeping, working, and every damned thing.  So quitting a part of it, a difficult part at the moment, was tempting.  But.  No.  Just no.  However, in looking, I found the notion... which I knew, but with focus shot to shit I couldn't implement until I ran into it as advice... make the project work for you.  If you can't go to it, let it come to you.

Hmm?  Well, if I can't go without breakfast well, by feel or blood sugar numbers?  Then, for as needed, start my i.f. meal time in the morning.  It isn't optimal, but it is a start.  I need to get my food in order or nothing else will work.  For now I have to slide on things or quit.  Quitting is choosing death, plus a lot of pain and humility on the way.

No.  I will get back at it.  If I have to eat early, so be it.  If I initially have to eat too much, okay.  If blood sugars will take a bit of a hit, up front, so that I can begin eating, alright. Food, you can't live with it, you can't live without it.  Although, with a little care you can find balance... if balance can only be found through imbalance as an initial contrast.

So, meat is grilling.  Medicine has been taken.  I missed last night, the first failure in three days?  It's as good as it gets, given all else.  I'll keep at it.  Mulligans, cheats, hacks, and plain suffering failures and humiliation without quitting in the big picture.  It isn't too bad, just how life goes.  Blessings.  Later.

Whole cream for the win.

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I am certain there are limits.  However, one cup of it into the making of a quart of otherwise tea raised my blood sugar by five points in an hour.  I am going to say my blood sugar will naturally vary that much, even quite a lot more, without any catalyst.  For me that is excellent.  If I need fat, which I certainly do restarting keto, this is an extremely fast and easy way to add fat.

I have actually had it well argued that with body fat loss as a goal, even if not the primary objective, my fat consumption should not be in the 70~90%  range.  Even starting out, perhaps a 3:2 fat to protein ratio.  That would be by total calories of fat and protein, or the percentage would be 70 % if going by grams... fat grams are 9 calories per, protein (and carbohydrates) are 5 calories per gram.  Once hunger fades, after a couple weeks, then dropping fat intake to parity with protein, a one to one ratio, was the next suggested step.  That is a starter portion of nearly 60/40%, then to 50/50.  The argument seems reasonable... from my experience so far.

As well, the notion of zero carbs was presented, from several sources tonight, as viable.  I am beginning to lean that way, if nothing else, for ease of cooking especially with a grill and the heartiness to cook on it at even 0 F.  Something mentioned was that it is more the protein that satiates.  Yeah, I think so.

Back to higher fat meats for a bit, then ease off.  Fatted tea for when I can't cook, or eat well.  And just extra fast calories so only a single meal need necessarily be cooked.  Maintenance calories would be at 4200~4400 calories, for me.  Don't try that at home, kids.  Not sure how much is recommended to shave for loss, if I do know too much deficit doesn't work, at least until hunger is managed, meaning I am well into ketosis.  It'll be a while.  As is I have been shorting calories, worse, good calories.

Intermittent fasting won't be possible either, until hunger is back under control.  I have plenty of meat thawing.  Every third meal, for now, I will get a veggie of some sort going.  Or a glass of milk.  I still believe in milk, just in smaller rarer amounts or fermented as kefir or yogurt.

Anyway, I had concerns, questions, doubts.  Still do, just not as heavily.  Not all of what I heard and read was to my liking.  That is what experience will answer.  Yes, I dare.  Later, or good night.

Do they, you, know?

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Or do they, you, some of you, only guess?

Tinkering.

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Physician, heal thyself!

So be it.  Blood sugar, two hours after Zevia, was back down to it's already ugly start.  Five hours after that, consuming only basic tea, chilled, about a gallon, blood sugar has dropped a hundred points from the return to the starting point.  Now I am going to try what is either heavy cream or half and half?  It was so thick I had to add milk for flow (no complaint mind you).  I added one cup, then mixed hot tea to about a quart.

I will try this with various amounts, and various cream consistencies.  No sweetener, though I may add a touch of salt.  Yeah, in time I will try various sweeteners, but not with my numbers so off.  Salt shouldn't have an affect.  Pepper might not be bad either.  The goal is to check it a half hour after finishing it.

Later, an actual meal and dishes rotated... some dried, some put to a rinse, more set to a soapy soak.  Ducks have been put up for a while now.  The cat litter could be checked for the third time.  Perhaps, as I begin a real meal, a snack for the ladies.  No more canned, they have become spoiled.  I must remember to only give them an extra can about twice a month.  Otherwise they begin pushing for that extra can.  Nope!

Sleep has been off.

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A few hours late at night, around the arctic cap of the day, up a few, then down again until past the equator.  But it is slowly changing, heading deeper into the afternoon.  Nothing I can do.  I don't sleep when I want to sleep, I sleep when choice is gone.  Otherwise I would sleep at 19:00~21:00 and wake at 3:00~5:00.  I like being awake before dawn.  A good time to think things through quietly, then be up to speed before the rest of the world is even awake.  A good time to exercise and pray, too.

As is, I simply don't have choice.  Not that I don't push to get my way.  I try to stay asleep when I go down early.  Simply can't.  I keep trying to wake early, and I do wake.  I simply can't stay awake.  The brain just doesn't work right, it hurts too much as well... some mornings.

Blood sugar is staying wicked high.  I have to figure this out.  Perhaps go on fast, if I am not ready for a total extended fast.  Perhaps a fat fast...  that is a fast with half my usual calories at 90 % Fat, or as close to it as possible.  Legit?  Worth a shot.  Cream and macadamian nuts make the project much easier.  Actually, there is another nut that has even higher fat ratio.  It is difficult to get that high of fat content though.

The crazy thing is, everything that is supposed to offer a pass on blood sugar spikes isn't working.  Getting a bit frustrated.  On the good side, some of it is so well individually packaged that monkey business would require... international level functionaries.  While I have a paranoia bone almost as thick as my standard, it's... not quite that thick.  So... it's just... something something.  I'll figure it out.

Example?  Zevia soda... canned... zero sugar, zero carbs, technically zero... everything.  One can, from fasting blood sugar, spiked blood sugar 59 points in nearly an hour!?!  Which makes me wonder about the stuff from yesterday.  Is my body just being really odd?  Tomorrow I will try plain tea.  If there is any kind of spike, then it just isn't normal.

Anyway, whatever is wrong seems to be messing everything up... sleep, diabetes, organ, bone, and joint pain, and a few other things.  These, save diabetes, aren't terribly intense... more just annoying.  Still, would rather figure these out.  I've been doing well with meds lately.  Oh, but need to add daily aspirin.  Yeah, I do try.  Really, mostly dead.  Ugh.

Later.