Beautiful, exquisite, pain.

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Something about finishing and submitting the paperwork.  I had to struggle all this time, months, to do it.  And while I am certain they will say it is too late, or didn't get it... again... I know I did it and have a paper trail that will pit them against the postal service.

Now, having finished the task, it feels as if a taloned fist which had been gripping my heart, right to shredding into it, has been released.  While the release is wonderful it is also terrible.  Blood seems to be flowing into areas previously denied.  As with sitting or laying upon a limb, which then falls asleep, opening that back up is excruciating.  So it is.

I was up long, doing the chores so as to even get out.  That all almost wore me down beyond capacity to act.  But I pushed through.  When I crashed, even that hurt.  Aspirin, now that I think of it.  Yeah, more later if need be.  I crashed after 13:00, before 14:00, I think.  Woke around seven hours later, about on the dot if my bollocks were on risk and I had to say.

More sleep would have been good, some choices aren't ours.  Food, soon.  A salad, avocado, and meatloaf?  Yeah, but a smaller fatted tea first.  I found avocado oil locally, picked up peanut oil, a few good things on top of vinegar needed for the household.  Particularly for a possibly soured washing machine.  Ugh.

Cheeses too, oh... and sugar free reserves, to try.  They may still drop keto or exacerbate blood sugar, but worth a try.  Keto pancake toppings so I don't have to make my own syrup, or every time.  Yeah, as a check-out lady noted, it is a bit pricey... But for one, and eating less, plus less and less waste?  I think it works out better than it sounds.  That is what I suggested to her, and believe.  I... think she bought it and liked the notion.

Ugh.  Hurts.  Later.