Difficult to eat.

.
.
A couple of pork chops and a steak.  I planned to save some of it for tomorrow or later.  I was only able to eat one chop and a third of the steak.  My favorite foods, done right, didn't matter.  I thought i was hungry.  I guess not?  Another fatted tea, it adds something.  There is actually an opportunity to eat another meal before the eight hour window closes.  I have a bit over four hours.  And I will try, if I can't see it as I feel.  Better to shove something in the belly than become desperately hungry later.

I just don't want to eat.  I feel no need.  And, yet, I do... what I would call a ghost hunger.  More like, perhaps, akin to what people have lost limbs must feel, something from nothing.  Even fluids have been hard to get down.  So difficult to be absolutely stuffed on so little and yet still crave... but crave ghost things as well.  Nothing I could eat or drink would satisfy, only increase suffering.

More, I believe it is time to go to bed.  Ducks and girls have been fed, watered, and several times.  I'll take medicine before crashing.  Oh, and clean litter.  I hope to wake in a bit.  So much for a later dinner.  Later or even later, perhaps good night.