.
.
To bed in the time range I wished. I did finally put the laundry into the dryer. Oh, and I made an attempt at another project. While cleaning the bathroom today, beside removing the toilet seat, which snap attaches to fittings bolted to the toilet body. Well, this time I decided to take the bolts off and clean those as well. More, I had hoped to silicon calk around the top side of the toilet boil where those fit down. I couldn't remember where the calk was, so was going to wait.
However, frugality got the best of me. I decided to look for what I had, attempt to make that work, even as old as that is. I did find it. I was able to dig deeply enough to hit fresh. I got some to flow. I think the way the canister was designed (?), at some point the tube simply can't be emptied further. I was... putting extreme stress on the calk gun while getting no results. Then I thought back. Desert Cat suggested Goop. A... multivariable, multi-formula line of material for adhesion and/or water proofing. I found one tube of that. Now, while it was waterproof, it also indicated that it was, pretty much, permanent. Now, while I would like to think a toilet seat would last a lifetime, or that the bolts would so that I could simply switch out a seat, I wouldn't want to bet replacing a $400 toilet on my assumption. When you weigh 300, and you are trying to get both the best physical fit and the best flushing toilet, you pay for it. Trust me, that wasn't luxury. Luxury is the $1,200 heated seat, or the even more expensive one which literally washes your behind, with warmed water. A bidet, I think they are called? Too tired to check, will forget before I do. A French thing, not sure many others in Europe really digged the idea?
Anyway. That didn't work. I did give it a heck of a go. It wasn't from a lack of effort. What I have just didn't work. This time, when I look for calk, I'm hoping to do research to see if something else would do. A smaller amount of it, perhaps. Cheaper. I hate spending that for a one time use. Though that may be that for that.
I did do some things today. But the little effort really did hit hard. Up too long, for too long, too often. On the good side, the shower took care of my 'dusty eyes'. I was starting to wonder about my vision. The shiners just needed sprayed off and out.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Working isn't working out.
.
.
Oh, one load of dishes... a meal cooked and half eaten... and a shower. That shower was divine. I still have to dry the laundry. Bleh. I might be able to sleep after eighteen hours up today. I am hoping. I think? Did I wake at 21:00? I... can't remember... or was that when I went to bed. Yeah, the brain is getting fuzzy. Anyway, the goal is to go to bed at 21:00~23:00 tonight. Oh, I did some serious cleaning in the bathroom. There was that too.
Just... writing something. I did notice that a bunch of videos have been viewed, involving my... notions of my having a 'different nature'. Yeah, well. I've told you boys and girls. I have evidence. Mostly dead men... not so much shouldn't... but can't do what I can do. Heck, healthy people can't. Now, they can function more often, just not as... hmm... not even sure how to say it. My mother noticed it, when I was young. She hoped like hell I didn't turn out bad and tried to forget as fast as her stunned mind could allow. Now she is just... suspicious. Knows I'm not... human... probably. No test for such a thing, it's just that humans die when they do, or don't do, some things. In my 20's I stayed up for 10 days.
As I have said, I was accepted into the hipster vamp groups out East because I could do what they did but without drugs. Never used them, didn't need them. Still don't, it seems. *grins* Anywhile, later.
.
Oh, one load of dishes... a meal cooked and half eaten... and a shower. That shower was divine. I still have to dry the laundry. Bleh. I might be able to sleep after eighteen hours up today. I am hoping. I think? Did I wake at 21:00? I... can't remember... or was that when I went to bed. Yeah, the brain is getting fuzzy. Anyway, the goal is to go to bed at 21:00~23:00 tonight. Oh, I did some serious cleaning in the bathroom. There was that too.
Just... writing something. I did notice that a bunch of videos have been viewed, involving my... notions of my having a 'different nature'. Yeah, well. I've told you boys and girls. I have evidence. Mostly dead men... not so much shouldn't... but can't do what I can do. Heck, healthy people can't. Now, they can function more often, just not as... hmm... not even sure how to say it. My mother noticed it, when I was young. She hoped like hell I didn't turn out bad and tried to forget as fast as her stunned mind could allow. Now she is just... suspicious. Knows I'm not... human... probably. No test for such a thing, it's just that humans die when they do, or don't do, some things. In my 20's I stayed up for 10 days.
As I have said, I was accepted into the hipster vamp groups out East because I could do what they did but without drugs. Never used them, didn't need them. Still don't, it seems. *grins* Anywhile, later.
Yeah, still kicking.
.
.
As in alive. I fell three hours short of a back-to-back pair of 48 hour runs with but nine hours sleep between. Then again, that first "48" was more like 51 iirc, immss. I slept nine hours "this last night" as well. Could just be spring in the air? The in the world, the sun and weather aren't behaving the part of spring, to my body's senses. Yet my body KNOWS it's spring. So... after waiting patiently, it sprung? Don't know. Could be. Anyway, it'll sort out in time.
When waking, I really thought about not playing today. Just working. But... nah. However, I am not going to let this wakefulness opportunity slip my grasp, either. While I will play, I will also work. Oh? Don't believe? Fie you away! I've already started. I cleared and cleaned the toilet, took dirty laundry back and started a load, I have set up to take a shower, I broke down the packages for my new tea and flour cloth kitchen towels and put those back to wash, I am soaking a few dishes which were missed in my usual (now) precleaning, and hoping to get to dishes later. I've gone through my produce... lemons are done, onions and grapefruit remain to be "tested", apples were gone... tossing and sorting. Oh, I need to get the basket catches hung, and buy small chain for that the next time I am in town. It makes sorting fruits and veggies a lot easier. So... yeah.
Now, that little physical assault on the cave has left me worn. A shower, finishing that load of laundry, and maybe another, is probably it. Though, maybe, later, a trip to town... or tomorrow. Not bad, not bad at all for the living dead. While some dogs could not hear the horn, and back from the hunt... and some dogs could not break free... I have been a wonder dog, able to chase, and return, well beyond master and "peer". Even I, though, must know when to let the fox slip the hunt. Or... is it I who must give up my ghost to the hunt? From time to time, I suppose, I have known each. Today I am letting the fox slip. The goal is no more than a 24 hour day. *wink*
Later.
.
As in alive. I fell three hours short of a back-to-back pair of 48 hour runs with but nine hours sleep between. Then again, that first "48" was more like 51 iirc, immss. I slept nine hours "this last night" as well. Could just be spring in the air? The in the world, the sun and weather aren't behaving the part of spring, to my body's senses. Yet my body KNOWS it's spring. So... after waiting patiently, it sprung? Don't know. Could be. Anyway, it'll sort out in time.
When waking, I really thought about not playing today. Just working. But... nah. However, I am not going to let this wakefulness opportunity slip my grasp, either. While I will play, I will also work. Oh? Don't believe? Fie you away! I've already started. I cleared and cleaned the toilet, took dirty laundry back and started a load, I have set up to take a shower, I broke down the packages for my new tea and flour cloth kitchen towels and put those back to wash, I am soaking a few dishes which were missed in my usual (now) precleaning, and hoping to get to dishes later. I've gone through my produce... lemons are done, onions and grapefruit remain to be "tested", apples were gone... tossing and sorting. Oh, I need to get the basket catches hung, and buy small chain for that the next time I am in town. It makes sorting fruits and veggies a lot easier. So... yeah.
Now, that little physical assault on the cave has left me worn. A shower, finishing that load of laundry, and maybe another, is probably it. Though, maybe, later, a trip to town... or tomorrow. Not bad, not bad at all for the living dead. While some dogs could not hear the horn, and back from the hunt... and some dogs could not break free... I have been a wonder dog, able to chase, and return, well beyond master and "peer". Even I, though, must know when to let the fox slip the hunt. Or... is it I who must give up my ghost to the hunt? From time to time, I suppose, I have known each. Today I am letting the fox slip. The goal is no more than a 24 hour day. *wink*
Later.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Six more and it would be a 48 pack.
.
.
Nah, I think I'm about to go down. Nothing fancy. I'm not hurting or grumpy. A little numb, perhaps. Less numb than without the game, though. I was drifting between wakefulness and sleep, never finding either. Now I am much more, comparatively, awake. And when I sleep, there is no doubt. I get slapped so hard into the dirt I don't see the shadow of the hand, forget about the hand itself. I'd actually like to make it a few more hours. That should be possible. If I was still talking to my docs, they'd be telling me not only should I not do this, but that I can't do it. They know my diagnosis better than I. But they don't know... hmm... much.
I am hoping to get to town soon. A bit of shopping... sides for with the duck... regular perishables... I have everything I need if I absolutely can't get to town. But this food isn't bought to enjoy. It merely allows one to bid time until a better solution avails itself, or is scratched out. Still, worst come to pass, it will do. And it will do for quite some time.
I thought about using beer, again. But it had no affect. Yeah, as fast as I drank that six pack, I didn't get a very quick light buzz. Two beers, for me, is less than half a beer for most men, though, for perspective. Three beers is about a beer, me to a standard man. Just size, mostly. Which means, most of the last few years, I usually really only have a "beer". I don't even always finish "it". Still, it really didn't get me down. Tasted good though. Which is part of why I drink the stuff. Better than soda. Actually, I think of it as the proper means by which men should consume wheat. Pasta isn't bad, it just doesn't bite back.
Hmm, no, maybe not three more. Yeah, I think I'm heading in. Still, I'm up fairly late into the afternoon. Good night.
.
Nah, I think I'm about to go down. Nothing fancy. I'm not hurting or grumpy. A little numb, perhaps. Less numb than without the game, though. I was drifting between wakefulness and sleep, never finding either. Now I am much more, comparatively, awake. And when I sleep, there is no doubt. I get slapped so hard into the dirt I don't see the shadow of the hand, forget about the hand itself. I'd actually like to make it a few more hours. That should be possible. If I was still talking to my docs, they'd be telling me not only should I not do this, but that I can't do it. They know my diagnosis better than I. But they don't know... hmm... much.
I am hoping to get to town soon. A bit of shopping... sides for with the duck... regular perishables... I have everything I need if I absolutely can't get to town. But this food isn't bought to enjoy. It merely allows one to bid time until a better solution avails itself, or is scratched out. Still, worst come to pass, it will do. And it will do for quite some time.
I thought about using beer, again. But it had no affect. Yeah, as fast as I drank that six pack, I didn't get a very quick light buzz. Two beers, for me, is less than half a beer for most men, though, for perspective. Three beers is about a beer, me to a standard man. Just size, mostly. Which means, most of the last few years, I usually really only have a "beer". I don't even always finish "it". Still, it really didn't get me down. Tasted good though. Which is part of why I drink the stuff. Better than soda. Actually, I think of it as the proper means by which men should consume wheat. Pasta isn't bad, it just doesn't bite back.
Hmm, no, maybe not three more. Yeah, I think I'm heading in. Still, I'm up fairly late into the afternoon. Good night.
Fuck it, I've got 12 more.
.
.
Hmm, might pull two 48 hour shifts in a row. Who knows. Yeah, I never did get this. Sleep just isn't going to happen.
.
Hmm, might pull two 48 hour shifts in a row. Who knows. Yeah, I never did get this. Sleep just isn't going to happen.
Interesting.
.
.
I've been pulling 24 four hour plus shifts... three in a row, at least. Okay, 27 hours, so far, today. But I am heading down. As for sleep, eight to nine hours per. And I'm doing well. I do sleep hard, mind you. Noice! I'm not doing much, but I wouldn't have been anyway. I'm in a down. So pulling through it with something, anything, is cool. Pulling I am.
Now, I am doing very little more than I would have been. Cooking a few more more meals, usually one every several days, but paring the food out to last... a meal or two a day. Actually I am drinking less tea, more like a gallon, maybe a gallon and an half a day. Why less? Don't know. So it's not extra caffeine.
.
I've been pulling 24 four hour plus shifts... three in a row, at least. Okay, 27 hours, so far, today. But I am heading down. As for sleep, eight to nine hours per. And I'm doing well. I do sleep hard, mind you. Noice! I'm not doing much, but I wouldn't have been anyway. I'm in a down. So pulling through it with something, anything, is cool. Pulling I am.
Now, I am doing very little more than I would have been. Cooking a few more more meals, usually one every several days, but paring the food out to last... a meal or two a day. Actually I am drinking less tea, more like a gallon, maybe a gallon and an half a day. Why less? Don't know. So it's not extra caffeine.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Yes, still awake.
.
.
Well past 24 hours, probably past 36 hours now. Didn't mean to do it. The game is interesting, I would be muddling through neither awake or asleep as I had been for a while anyway, so... Now, it's probably not the healthiest thing to do, and I am not the healthiest. However, I have some suspicion that, even though I suspected, felt as if, I was dying, for most of the time the medical field was telling me there was nothing wrong but nerves, the reason I have survived is because I DIDN'T treat myself as if I was dying. Even suspecting death was near, I kept at it, making it through engineering school, going white-water rafting at a time the water was terribly dangerous, and so on. If I had placated it I would be dead. Now, I'm still not sure if they knew, and if they did, the reason they didn't tell me. Was it because they didn't want to pay out, or because they themselves don't believe in medicine so didn't see it helping, or was it an only hope. Perhaps they were simply boobs who really didn't know. I just doubt it.
Eggs this morning. Toast would have been really nice, even bacon or sausage would have soaked up the extra yoke. As much as I like it, and even living alone, I just... won't steep to licking the plate clean. Oh, I want to do so. Something about a semblance of civility. Even from an ogre. The other day I made a decent dish. I fried sausage, some of the fresh that I got earlier this month. Boy is very fresh hog rich tasting. But that is the draw, and you like it (a lot) or not at all I think. I soaked the juice off those on napkins (need to buy paper towels soon), then used a can of diced tomatoes, adding V8 juice. Then I added the sausage in to finish. As that all was seeming done, I added eggs, and let them poach in small little pockets. I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I would gladly eat it again. Perhaps not haute cuisine, or even the finest. But... enough. Fresh pork sausage was probably what made the dish, salvaged it? Yes.
No extra beers. I realized, aside from beer anyway, I was beginning to wind down. I am ready, I believe. I have no idea how long I will sleep. With the phone off anymore, just hack calls, and no real things going on, who knows. Although, I am getting hungry for a duck. I'd like to look at various ideas. I can roast a duck, chicken, turkey, etc. quite well. However, I have never attempted a true orange duck (or other fowl). I haven't tried anything special, noteworthy, or such. It's about time. The problem with some of those meals is that it takes an operational event, with purchases, prep and sous chef work, the efforts equivalent of a saucier, and a whole lot of jazz. You can cut it down, but only so much.
Oh, and I keep... looking out the window. I want to get back in the trees, with the saw, finish that. It is fun. I do want to figure out some... safety procedures. They might not pass muster for the state, but the state is bankrupting itself trying to force impossible rules which don't allow anyone to get hurt or die. For one, you really wouldn't want that, not in a fallen world. Though, with the state being secular now... not just agnostic to faith, but actively against it... they can't see the forest for the trees. Anyway, while I don't mind taking risks and getting things done, I honestly don't wish to break something, or worse. Hmm... If I don't get to it this week, perhaps I could get in to confession. Which would also allow me to go the the KoC meeting, or one, soon enough. Gah!
Someone help! My head has been misplaced and I have no way to find it! Still, it's not all horrible, mind you. I'm just laughing at the events. I'll keep trying and hoping. Alaska, though... I am beginning to really see that. It's not going to be a romantic trip. I have no belief that it will be fun and games. And, yet, I believe I can figure things out. A sort of Mr. Magoo. I have been much of my life. Next month is the beef, then I can back off and begin financially, and otherwise, planning my last, one way or the other, escape. I could well live up there for the next forty years, just fine. Or, in a year or less, retreat back to the lower 48. We'll see.
Ah, right. Good night.
.
Well past 24 hours, probably past 36 hours now. Didn't mean to do it. The game is interesting, I would be muddling through neither awake or asleep as I had been for a while anyway, so... Now, it's probably not the healthiest thing to do, and I am not the healthiest. However, I have some suspicion that, even though I suspected, felt as if, I was dying, for most of the time the medical field was telling me there was nothing wrong but nerves, the reason I have survived is because I DIDN'T treat myself as if I was dying. Even suspecting death was near, I kept at it, making it through engineering school, going white-water rafting at a time the water was terribly dangerous, and so on. If I had placated it I would be dead. Now, I'm still not sure if they knew, and if they did, the reason they didn't tell me. Was it because they didn't want to pay out, or because they themselves don't believe in medicine so didn't see it helping, or was it an only hope. Perhaps they were simply boobs who really didn't know. I just doubt it.
Eggs this morning. Toast would have been really nice, even bacon or sausage would have soaked up the extra yoke. As much as I like it, and even living alone, I just... won't steep to licking the plate clean. Oh, I want to do so. Something about a semblance of civility. Even from an ogre. The other day I made a decent dish. I fried sausage, some of the fresh that I got earlier this month. Boy is very fresh hog rich tasting. But that is the draw, and you like it (a lot) or not at all I think. I soaked the juice off those on napkins (need to buy paper towels soon), then used a can of diced tomatoes, adding V8 juice. Then I added the sausage in to finish. As that all was seeming done, I added eggs, and let them poach in small little pockets. I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I would gladly eat it again. Perhaps not haute cuisine, or even the finest. But... enough. Fresh pork sausage was probably what made the dish, salvaged it? Yes.
No extra beers. I realized, aside from beer anyway, I was beginning to wind down. I am ready, I believe. I have no idea how long I will sleep. With the phone off anymore, just hack calls, and no real things going on, who knows. Although, I am getting hungry for a duck. I'd like to look at various ideas. I can roast a duck, chicken, turkey, etc. quite well. However, I have never attempted a true orange duck (or other fowl). I haven't tried anything special, noteworthy, or such. It's about time. The problem with some of those meals is that it takes an operational event, with purchases, prep and sous chef work, the efforts equivalent of a saucier, and a whole lot of jazz. You can cut it down, but only so much.
Oh, and I keep... looking out the window. I want to get back in the trees, with the saw, finish that. It is fun. I do want to figure out some... safety procedures. They might not pass muster for the state, but the state is bankrupting itself trying to force impossible rules which don't allow anyone to get hurt or die. For one, you really wouldn't want that, not in a fallen world. Though, with the state being secular now... not just agnostic to faith, but actively against it... they can't see the forest for the trees. Anyway, while I don't mind taking risks and getting things done, I honestly don't wish to break something, or worse. Hmm... If I don't get to it this week, perhaps I could get in to confession. Which would also allow me to go the the KoC meeting, or one, soon enough. Gah!
Someone help! My head has been misplaced and I have no way to find it! Still, it's not all horrible, mind you. I'm just laughing at the events. I'll keep trying and hoping. Alaska, though... I am beginning to really see that. It's not going to be a romantic trip. I have no belief that it will be fun and games. And, yet, I believe I can figure things out. A sort of Mr. Magoo. I have been much of my life. Next month is the beef, then I can back off and begin financially, and otherwise, planning my last, one way or the other, escape. I could well live up there for the next forty years, just fine. Or, in a year or less, retreat back to the lower 48. We'll see.
Ah, right. Good night.
Well?
.
.
Well, the trick worked. I am still no more able to do anything, but I am no longer sleeping and being awake between four and eight hours at a time, completely variably. However, I am... in another sort of pickle. I am awake, quite often, eighteen to... many more hours... at a time. I even tried a trick a bit ago. When sleep was evasive, in the past, long past when I was not on medicine... or the right kind... I found that drinking alcohol might help.
About that. I haven't been drinking more than three beers at a time for... well... since before medication was ended. I couldn't drink four, literally. However, one, two, and rarely (if never fully) three beers have been a once or twice a month affair. Just couldn't do it. Tonight I did six, and might try two more. Didn't work. I am not sure I can drink a few more, though it might help. I do need to sleep.
I have been trying to eat daily. I have been doing pretty well with the girls, feeding, watering, and such. Heck, I am sometimes jealous. They have food on tap all the time, plus treats at least once a day, and wet food once a day. The timing might not be great, but I am pretty good. If I fail, it's by feeding them a bit too much. Everything else has sort of been suspended. I'll... try to get at it. I do need sleep though. Ugh.
Just a brief. Later, or good night.
.
Well, the trick worked. I am still no more able to do anything, but I am no longer sleeping and being awake between four and eight hours at a time, completely variably. However, I am... in another sort of pickle. I am awake, quite often, eighteen to... many more hours... at a time. I even tried a trick a bit ago. When sleep was evasive, in the past, long past when I was not on medicine... or the right kind... I found that drinking alcohol might help.
About that. I haven't been drinking more than three beers at a time for... well... since before medication was ended. I couldn't drink four, literally. However, one, two, and rarely (if never fully) three beers have been a once or twice a month affair. Just couldn't do it. Tonight I did six, and might try two more. Didn't work. I am not sure I can drink a few more, though it might help. I do need to sleep.
I have been trying to eat daily. I have been doing pretty well with the girls, feeding, watering, and such. Heck, I am sometimes jealous. They have food on tap all the time, plus treats at least once a day, and wet food once a day. The timing might not be great, but I am pretty good. If I fail, it's by feeding them a bit too much. Everything else has sort of been suspended. I'll... try to get at it. I do need sleep though. Ugh.
Just a brief. Later, or good night.
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