.
.
Though I do have real difficulties, I am allowed to see others who are far more troubled. There are various ways I see this. When I have felt bad about having a bit of a belly, I saw a show about the 1,000 pound man. I am, generally speaking, able to physically do anything anyone else can do and sometimes I can do far more. I can, generally, cook for myself, shop, take care of all my basic needs, and move around. That man could not even go to the bathroom! But there are other cases. I see disabled people who so poorly manage any moneys or alms they receive, or receive so little, that they live in squalor, and or on the streets, and do not eat and drink well, and further, they seem to fall into dark lives through being broken down or giving up. As well, as bad as I may have been before finding my way Home, I see others who have lived far worse. Though I parted from God, and I did indeed sin, my sins were more animal. I had many relationships, I fought a good deal, I was not necessarily trustworthy in peripheral manners, but I did not seek out evil for it’s own sake. The one I discuss came back Home as well. But I see many who will not end their ways. Considering all, I am very blessed.
I completed a few chores today. I will not list them, as they are quite minor. However, it is more than I have been able to do in over a week. I am setting up to do even more work tonight. Perhaps if I can nibble at the cracker, eventually my psyche can find a way to consume the whole thing. And then, begin a diet of simple task crackers that end up feeding my needs. My exhaustion is a horror, still. If I did not have a history, I would seek medical attention. It is as if I have a minor stroke, only the weakness is distributed to both sides of my body, therefore not quite literally crippling. Breathing is difficult, staying awake is difficult, moving around is tough. A few tasks completed is actually a big thing. I do not know if doing more will really help me get out of this. It cannot hurt though, and it might play a part in improving my health and capacity to do more. It is difficult to see anything clearly, though, at the moment.
My mother received her flowers today. I was not awake to receive any of her calls, but from the messages, I think she was very happy. I still think it is too funny how pleased women are with flowers and getting them on certain days! I cannot seem to please women in general, and generally. But if this is it, then so be it. I will probably call another woman on Mother’s Day. Though she no longer has contact with her children, she did give birth, and she loved as she could or understood. Oh, and I ought to keep that flower thing in mind. If a woman cries, all I know is it is either really good or really bad. This one, I think, is good. *grins*
Well, I should try to figure out what I am trying to figure out. And, once that is done, perhaps I ought to try and act on it. Pickled pork feet await as a treat for some successful work.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Perhaps the outlook is improving.
.
.
I am still struggling. If I have done little, I have also not fallen into complete disrepair. I try to keep my eye on what needs to be done, without dispair. I try to be awake and as functional as possible when I am able to be awake. And, if I happen to see a chink in the wall that bars me, literally, from acting, I will try to escape my prison and get whatever done that I can get done. It is frustrating. I suppose it would be like flying and airplane and having the engines quit. You know that panicking will not help. You know that you cannot just pump the engines, at least at first. It is better to go through a checklist, look for problems while you are doing that, and then trying to restart the engines in an ordered manner. Too concentrated of an effort to start the engines might drain the battery, flood something, or overlook a minor problem preventing the re-ignition. So, I fall, as calmly as possible, rationally looking for my wings.
I did take care of Mother’s Day! I sent my Mom a dozen mixed roses. The advert suggested they would be less expensive than they ended up. The trick was that you had to sign up for a year program with them with a monthly fee, after which they would "reimburse" the cost of shipping. If I regularly ordered flowers, it might have been worth it, though I think I would have had to order a lot to make it pay for itself. Oh well, the price was about right for what I ordered, ordered any other way, so no real skin off my nose. I thought I would receive a call today, as this is as late as they could be delivered. No call. I hope she got them, I will be highly agitated if she did not, especially with the false advertisement too boot.
My lady friend popped in today. I think she finally understands how bad of a situation I am in. She forgets, sometimes, how bad it can get. She knows what tired is, and it haunts her. She does not understand being crippled by it. When we lived together, she never understood. Now, about 99% of the time, I was able to make her a dinner before work. She had to do shopping some of the time, and more so if she wanted a very specific dish, or set of dishes, for the meal (I bought groceries, generally, but refused to by "organic" foods for every dish, or even most meals). But there were times where my efforts were minimalist (though I think she greatly enjoyed these too). I simply could not engage in a serious (my version) three to five course meal. And, there were times, weeks even months, where that was all I could do. She forgets, easily. It has been a while since it has been like that. The medicine I was taking was working grandly, certainly better than without, and for almost two years. Too bad the new doctor dropped it and I could neither find the same results in private medicine nor afford private medical care.
I know I thought I was getting better before. But this time, I think it is coming around again. Recovery can be slow, I can stumble on that path, but I just feel it approaching. I am not sure if I can do anything to help it. I am trying to drink plenty of water, though eating is difficult as it is complicated by the kitchen problem, my general inability to cook anyway, and finances. Somehow, my bank is saying my checking account is dry. It really should not be. I have been meaning to get in and check that out, but getting out of bed is about as much as I have been able to muster, and then only weakly. Yes, it is a mess. I have had worse, I do think I am getting a bit better, and I am keeping my head about me this time more easily. Ack!
Good night, or good morning as the case may be.
.
I am still struggling. If I have done little, I have also not fallen into complete disrepair. I try to keep my eye on what needs to be done, without dispair. I try to be awake and as functional as possible when I am able to be awake. And, if I happen to see a chink in the wall that bars me, literally, from acting, I will try to escape my prison and get whatever done that I can get done. It is frustrating. I suppose it would be like flying and airplane and having the engines quit. You know that panicking will not help. You know that you cannot just pump the engines, at least at first. It is better to go through a checklist, look for problems while you are doing that, and then trying to restart the engines in an ordered manner. Too concentrated of an effort to start the engines might drain the battery, flood something, or overlook a minor problem preventing the re-ignition. So, I fall, as calmly as possible, rationally looking for my wings.
I did take care of Mother’s Day! I sent my Mom a dozen mixed roses. The advert suggested they would be less expensive than they ended up. The trick was that you had to sign up for a year program with them with a monthly fee, after which they would "reimburse" the cost of shipping. If I regularly ordered flowers, it might have been worth it, though I think I would have had to order a lot to make it pay for itself. Oh well, the price was about right for what I ordered, ordered any other way, so no real skin off my nose. I thought I would receive a call today, as this is as late as they could be delivered. No call. I hope she got them, I will be highly agitated if she did not, especially with the false advertisement too boot.
My lady friend popped in today. I think she finally understands how bad of a situation I am in. She forgets, sometimes, how bad it can get. She knows what tired is, and it haunts her. She does not understand being crippled by it. When we lived together, she never understood. Now, about 99% of the time, I was able to make her a dinner before work. She had to do shopping some of the time, and more so if she wanted a very specific dish, or set of dishes, for the meal (I bought groceries, generally, but refused to by "organic" foods for every dish, or even most meals). But there were times where my efforts were minimalist (though I think she greatly enjoyed these too). I simply could not engage in a serious (my version) three to five course meal. And, there were times, weeks even months, where that was all I could do. She forgets, easily. It has been a while since it has been like that. The medicine I was taking was working grandly, certainly better than without, and for almost two years. Too bad the new doctor dropped it and I could neither find the same results in private medicine nor afford private medical care.
I know I thought I was getting better before. But this time, I think it is coming around again. Recovery can be slow, I can stumble on that path, but I just feel it approaching. I am not sure if I can do anything to help it. I am trying to drink plenty of water, though eating is difficult as it is complicated by the kitchen problem, my general inability to cook anyway, and finances. Somehow, my bank is saying my checking account is dry. It really should not be. I have been meaning to get in and check that out, but getting out of bed is about as much as I have been able to muster, and then only weakly. Yes, it is a mess. I have had worse, I do think I am getting a bit better, and I am keeping my head about me this time more easily. Ack!
Good night, or good morning as the case may be.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Sleep.
.
.
I am sleeping many hours a day. I have some things I really need to get done, but my exhaustion is out of control. I try to eat as well as I can, I try to remain awake, I watch the temperature in the cave, and whatever else I can think of to help. Nothing is working. Not having a functioning kitchen does not help, though it is not a major factor. The items I purchased are not quite right. I tried to put them in and found that one piece is a problem. I do not believe I saw a piece that would work at the particular hardware store I visited. So, not only do I need to take everything back, I need to find, somewhere, items that will work.
I have tried to call my mother. If nothing else, a familiar voice might be good to hear. And, I am hoping the medicine she has started is helping. Aging is supposed to cause slowing. But it is not supposed to cause crippling and pain along with painful exhaustion. I know the latter, but thankfully and for the most part, that is only occasional and does not include the former choices. She was knowing all of it. I am very hopeful that some or all of that can be eliminated. The slowing she will just have to learn to cope with though.
I seem to be able to be awake, if barely, from during later afternoons and into the evenings. Sometimes I need a nap in there. And, from really early morning until early morning or so. Alarm clocks do not help. Though they wake me enough to come to consciousness (and turn them off), they end up just causing me to sleep longer, ruining the little sleep I can get. What I mean by that is, though I am sleeping a great deal, I am not sleeping well. I never wake rested, I do not sleep deeply, I am simply exhausted and only half asleep or half awake at all times. I am haggard and weak from it. So disturbing that sleep only makes a bad thing worse.
Actually, I think it is time to sleep again. I tried to fight it, but at this time, I have pretty much given up. I sleep, now, when my body demands it. I have worn down to the point where I cannot fight. It reminds me of trying to hold my breath. At some point, after doing it over and over, my ability to fight my urge for air deteriorates to nothing. I will fight now, simply to be allowed to sleep. I have nothing left, for the moment. Though I cannot see it at this point, at least I have a history which lets me know I will, eventually, be able to see, and even in time accesses strength and a life, again.
Good night, or evening, or whatever.
.
I am sleeping many hours a day. I have some things I really need to get done, but my exhaustion is out of control. I try to eat as well as I can, I try to remain awake, I watch the temperature in the cave, and whatever else I can think of to help. Nothing is working. Not having a functioning kitchen does not help, though it is not a major factor. The items I purchased are not quite right. I tried to put them in and found that one piece is a problem. I do not believe I saw a piece that would work at the particular hardware store I visited. So, not only do I need to take everything back, I need to find, somewhere, items that will work.
I have tried to call my mother. If nothing else, a familiar voice might be good to hear. And, I am hoping the medicine she has started is helping. Aging is supposed to cause slowing. But it is not supposed to cause crippling and pain along with painful exhaustion. I know the latter, but thankfully and for the most part, that is only occasional and does not include the former choices. She was knowing all of it. I am very hopeful that some or all of that can be eliminated. The slowing she will just have to learn to cope with though.
I seem to be able to be awake, if barely, from during later afternoons and into the evenings. Sometimes I need a nap in there. And, from really early morning until early morning or so. Alarm clocks do not help. Though they wake me enough to come to consciousness (and turn them off), they end up just causing me to sleep longer, ruining the little sleep I can get. What I mean by that is, though I am sleeping a great deal, I am not sleeping well. I never wake rested, I do not sleep deeply, I am simply exhausted and only half asleep or half awake at all times. I am haggard and weak from it. So disturbing that sleep only makes a bad thing worse.
Actually, I think it is time to sleep again. I tried to fight it, but at this time, I have pretty much given up. I sleep, now, when my body demands it. I have worn down to the point where I cannot fight. It reminds me of trying to hold my breath. At some point, after doing it over and over, my ability to fight my urge for air deteriorates to nothing. I will fight now, simply to be allowed to sleep. I have nothing left, for the moment. Though I cannot see it at this point, at least I have a history which lets me know I will, eventually, be able to see, and even in time accesses strength and a life, again.
Good night, or evening, or whatever.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Exhausted and beat up!
.
.
I am not sure what happened, but not only am I tired, I am absolutely exhausted. I had been sure I was just about to do better. Beyond that, my arms, legs, and torso are sore. I have been in enough fights to know that it feels as if I have been in a fist fight, minus facial bruises. The exhaustion is not mental, this time. It is purely physical. Still, I got the sink drain out, went to the store and found replacements, and got some food earlier. I have set the new sink trap pieces to go back in, but have not done that yet. I really had to sleep. I had thought my exhaustion was mostly psychic in nature, but I realize today, that is not always the case.
I may need more time to move. I have not been able to get things done, time is drawing too short too fast, and I am so tight on money. I need sleep. Perhaps the stress of the move is doing this, perhaps I am just going through something, but I am not on the top of my game, perhaps not even in the game. Drats. I am stuck and I really do not have a way out quickly. Still, I am going to try and get it done anyway. I will just have to see how things are as the month comes to a close.
My sleeping is really messed up too. I cannot sleep at night and I cannot wake up early. Worse, I cannot seem to sleep in longer stretches. My sleep is now segmented in 2 to 4, or 8 to 12 hour stretches. Even if I was tired the last few weeks, I was sleeping regularly. I know there is some connection, but past attempts at using sleeping medication to ameliorate the situation has been thoroughly found to be lacking. Every time I tried, I ended up sleeping far more than is good, even when given something to balance that. Doctors and their use of meds to allow the use of meds to allow the use of… you get the point. Rather than fixing the problem, it seems they would rather skirt the main issues and just offer me a dozen meds that only nibble at a few symptoms that they want tended. Aiming for other than the bull’s eye will never allow a win.
I went to bed at 21:30 or 22:30, but could not stay asleep. I may put the drain back together, sip some more water, and then try again. I am already, at 3:00, becoming exhausted again. Though, I do not think I was quite able to wake up.
Have a good morning. And, never worry. I will figure things out. Besides, it is all in God's hands anyway.
.
I am not sure what happened, but not only am I tired, I am absolutely exhausted. I had been sure I was just about to do better. Beyond that, my arms, legs, and torso are sore. I have been in enough fights to know that it feels as if I have been in a fist fight, minus facial bruises. The exhaustion is not mental, this time. It is purely physical. Still, I got the sink drain out, went to the store and found replacements, and got some food earlier. I have set the new sink trap pieces to go back in, but have not done that yet. I really had to sleep. I had thought my exhaustion was mostly psychic in nature, but I realize today, that is not always the case.
I may need more time to move. I have not been able to get things done, time is drawing too short too fast, and I am so tight on money. I need sleep. Perhaps the stress of the move is doing this, perhaps I am just going through something, but I am not on the top of my game, perhaps not even in the game. Drats. I am stuck and I really do not have a way out quickly. Still, I am going to try and get it done anyway. I will just have to see how things are as the month comes to a close.
My sleeping is really messed up too. I cannot sleep at night and I cannot wake up early. Worse, I cannot seem to sleep in longer stretches. My sleep is now segmented in 2 to 4, or 8 to 12 hour stretches. Even if I was tired the last few weeks, I was sleeping regularly. I know there is some connection, but past attempts at using sleeping medication to ameliorate the situation has been thoroughly found to be lacking. Every time I tried, I ended up sleeping far more than is good, even when given something to balance that. Doctors and their use of meds to allow the use of meds to allow the use of… you get the point. Rather than fixing the problem, it seems they would rather skirt the main issues and just offer me a dozen meds that only nibble at a few symptoms that they want tended. Aiming for other than the bull’s eye will never allow a win.
I went to bed at 21:30 or 22:30, but could not stay asleep. I may put the drain back together, sip some more water, and then try again. I am already, at 3:00, becoming exhausted again. Though, I do not think I was quite able to wake up.
Have a good morning. And, never worry. I will figure things out. Besides, it is all in God's hands anyway.
Monday, May 4, 2009
A few things done, an extra task, and a joke.
.
.
I was slow to wake this morning. The process was accelerated by knocking at the door combined with the doorbell ringing. As it turns out, the neighbor’s mother needed a driver again, today. The trip was much shorter though so I agreed to help. If nothing else, it would put me in functioning form to do some of the shopping I needed to do. After a bit of waking up, a shower, and such, I was ready within a half an hour to forty five minutes. The trip went well. We were hungry, but I did not feel like fast fast food, so I suggested we go to a Mexican (Americanized Mexican) food place. I enjoyed the time and the talk, and I think she enjoyed a little quiet time away from normal stresses, a busy house, and all that jazz. She has asked if I will drive her next week, and I agreed. Though I will have her fill the tank and our meals are our own this time. Yeah, I can be a softy, but not always.
When we returned, I went out and bought some tools. An 18” pipe wrench, a 15” adjustable wrench, and a 16” channel lock are now in my tool kit. If I remember right, I had not had 2, I had 5 or 6 such tools of various sizes. I really despise having things stolen. Especially by someone who is probably going to lose the tools, or mishandle them into ruin. I buy decent tools, I take care of them, and they last forever. I have not cleaned out the trap, yet, but I am geared to do it. I will have to mop the floor, again, and hope it dries and does not flood the floor again before the morning.
Oh, the joke. I received an invitation to apply for the national scholars honor society today. At first, I thought the thing was a complete farce. However, after brooding over the thing for a bit, I decided to check out the internet address offered. Fine, so it is a legitimate seeming address. But it must be a joke. I am not sure who would have played the joke, but it is not funny. Then again, perhaps it is just some sort of scam to get me to offer some money or something. Who knows. But I am still a bit hot about it. I do not like being played like a toy.
I did get some shopping done. I have eaten and completed a few other things. And I am set up for work tomorrow. Plus, I helped someone. I know what it is like to not have access, money, or seemingly friends. And, yes, I do think helping is important. If I cannot help myself, but can help another, I think I have been more successful in the end, within certain constraints. Or, more precisely, helping people does help me. It is not a tit-for-tat hereafter trade thing though. No, how I help myself by helping others is by enriching my humble little life. Soul snack food, if you will, healthy soul snack food.
I should be ready for sleep tonight too. Though I did little, it is more than I have been able to do, driving often tires me, and conversations make me ready to sleep. Eating better, today, also adds to energy for the next day. Plus, with the shopping completed, I am ready to care for my needs better for the next couple of weeks. I even have a few treats for when I do good work, 2 jars of pickled pork feet (boneless meaty chunks of fatty meats!) and a jar of pickled turkey gizzards. A little incentive, in the form of self bribes, does work.
Good night.
.
I was slow to wake this morning. The process was accelerated by knocking at the door combined with the doorbell ringing. As it turns out, the neighbor’s mother needed a driver again, today. The trip was much shorter though so I agreed to help. If nothing else, it would put me in functioning form to do some of the shopping I needed to do. After a bit of waking up, a shower, and such, I was ready within a half an hour to forty five minutes. The trip went well. We were hungry, but I did not feel like fast fast food, so I suggested we go to a Mexican (Americanized Mexican) food place. I enjoyed the time and the talk, and I think she enjoyed a little quiet time away from normal stresses, a busy house, and all that jazz. She has asked if I will drive her next week, and I agreed. Though I will have her fill the tank and our meals are our own this time. Yeah, I can be a softy, but not always.
When we returned, I went out and bought some tools. An 18” pipe wrench, a 15” adjustable wrench, and a 16” channel lock are now in my tool kit. If I remember right, I had not had 2, I had 5 or 6 such tools of various sizes. I really despise having things stolen. Especially by someone who is probably going to lose the tools, or mishandle them into ruin. I buy decent tools, I take care of them, and they last forever. I have not cleaned out the trap, yet, but I am geared to do it. I will have to mop the floor, again, and hope it dries and does not flood the floor again before the morning.
Oh, the joke. I received an invitation to apply for the national scholars honor society today. At first, I thought the thing was a complete farce. However, after brooding over the thing for a bit, I decided to check out the internet address offered. Fine, so it is a legitimate seeming address. But it must be a joke. I am not sure who would have played the joke, but it is not funny. Then again, perhaps it is just some sort of scam to get me to offer some money or something. Who knows. But I am still a bit hot about it. I do not like being played like a toy.
I did get some shopping done. I have eaten and completed a few other things. And I am set up for work tomorrow. Plus, I helped someone. I know what it is like to not have access, money, or seemingly friends. And, yes, I do think helping is important. If I cannot help myself, but can help another, I think I have been more successful in the end, within certain constraints. Or, more precisely, helping people does help me. It is not a tit-for-tat hereafter trade thing though. No, how I help myself by helping others is by enriching my humble little life. Soul snack food, if you will, healthy soul snack food.
I should be ready for sleep tonight too. Though I did little, it is more than I have been able to do, driving often tires me, and conversations make me ready to sleep. Eating better, today, also adds to energy for the next day. Plus, with the shopping completed, I am ready to care for my needs better for the next couple of weeks. I even have a few treats for when I do good work, 2 jars of pickled pork feet (boneless meaty chunks of fatty meats!) and a jar of pickled turkey gizzards. A little incentive, in the form of self bribes, does work.
Good night.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Sundays.
.
.
Bit by bit, as I have come to the call of my Maker, I have begun taking on more of His commands. Though I would should worship, my pride, righteousness, or something, for good or ill, has interfered with that. I had been going to Church on Saturdays as it was indicated that the practice was religiously sufficient (though I have heard otherwise since). Now, I am getting the day right but the practice incorrect. And, though I miss worship, I do remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. One day, one project or piece of a project, one command, and in all ways one thing at a time. Now that I am home, I am finding my place within it.
My lady friend visited today. I covered breakfast and lunch. I think she would rather have had me cook something for her, and as time and money are right on edge, I would to have preferred to cook. However, my house is falling down around my ears again. I have not gotten to the plumbing work. Tomorrow and it will be done. That was no help today. Still, I think it worked for her.
She actually asked for air conditioning today, and was sure she could do it herself. Generally, technical things can baffle her. I was happy to see her figure the thing out, it is digital. I merely turned on a light so she could see it better. She went for breakfast then did some of her laundry. But she thought some movies would be good, and I was out of bottled water, so she went out again. Beyond water and movies, she returned with watermelon! If it was not comparable to high summer melons, it was quite a treat. First it was unexpected, secondly it was excellent for such an early melon.
I felt bad about not having my house in order. Though I go through this from time to time, between packing, friends in need, and exhaustion, my kitchen has been out of order for longer than usual. I just cannot catch a breath. However, as I discussed earlier, I think this is changing. Tomorrow, to get started, I will get the pipe wrench as soon as the stores open at about 10:00. This gives me time to wake, shower, and get there without a fuss. Then to use the thing. I was sure I had two pipe wrenches. But after having had a thieving cousin live me for a bit, what I have is what I have. After that, I think I want to clean as energy and time warrants.
I think all business has been tended, on this end. I need to contact the realtor, and other realtors out there, and really begin in earnest to find a place. Hopefully I can find a short term lease or a quarterly lease, though a monthly lease would be preferred barring a short term rental. If I cannot do that, I still have options. I also need to call Pods to assess costs. And, of course, I need to finish packing. I have ¾ of my belongings packed. What remains is more difficult to deal with. Lamps, television, surround sound stereo system, my old computer (I have the boxes for the new one, of course), dishes, and pots and pans are the difficult and last items.
With all of that on my mind, for this day, for the most part, I have let that go. I simply enjoyed the day, remember more so to be thankful of life, relatively easy breath, friends, and family. I am grateful for the gifts of bread, food, some luxuries, a vehichle I trust and like, and a roof over my head. And I cannot forget to be humbly grateful for the sacrifice of God in Christ. To have Jesus, God incarnate, not only as my sovereign but also as my Brother, God as my Father, and the Holy Spirit as my Guide and Communicator, ensures that when I came home, I came home to a real Holy Family. In that Family, I am not just an adherent, but through the Eucharist, I become one with God. How good is that? I think only God knows the depth of that pool, but it is most certainly deep enough for all my needs and wants.
And, it is this, on this day, that I have thought of the most. More prayers than usual, a time for honest rest neither fighting myself to get going nor fighting my environment to get it done, this is a holy day. And, I have enjoyed keeping it as such for the most part. I hope your Sunday brings you rest and a closer walk with God.
Good night. Have a great week.
.
Bit by bit, as I have come to the call of my Maker, I have begun taking on more of His commands. Though I would should worship, my pride, righteousness, or something, for good or ill, has interfered with that. I had been going to Church on Saturdays as it was indicated that the practice was religiously sufficient (though I have heard otherwise since). Now, I am getting the day right but the practice incorrect. And, though I miss worship, I do remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. One day, one project or piece of a project, one command, and in all ways one thing at a time. Now that I am home, I am finding my place within it.
My lady friend visited today. I covered breakfast and lunch. I think she would rather have had me cook something for her, and as time and money are right on edge, I would to have preferred to cook. However, my house is falling down around my ears again. I have not gotten to the plumbing work. Tomorrow and it will be done. That was no help today. Still, I think it worked for her.
She actually asked for air conditioning today, and was sure she could do it herself. Generally, technical things can baffle her. I was happy to see her figure the thing out, it is digital. I merely turned on a light so she could see it better. She went for breakfast then did some of her laundry. But she thought some movies would be good, and I was out of bottled water, so she went out again. Beyond water and movies, she returned with watermelon! If it was not comparable to high summer melons, it was quite a treat. First it was unexpected, secondly it was excellent for such an early melon.
I felt bad about not having my house in order. Though I go through this from time to time, between packing, friends in need, and exhaustion, my kitchen has been out of order for longer than usual. I just cannot catch a breath. However, as I discussed earlier, I think this is changing. Tomorrow, to get started, I will get the pipe wrench as soon as the stores open at about 10:00. This gives me time to wake, shower, and get there without a fuss. Then to use the thing. I was sure I had two pipe wrenches. But after having had a thieving cousin live me for a bit, what I have is what I have. After that, I think I want to clean as energy and time warrants.
I think all business has been tended, on this end. I need to contact the realtor, and other realtors out there, and really begin in earnest to find a place. Hopefully I can find a short term lease or a quarterly lease, though a monthly lease would be preferred barring a short term rental. If I cannot do that, I still have options. I also need to call Pods to assess costs. And, of course, I need to finish packing. I have ¾ of my belongings packed. What remains is more difficult to deal with. Lamps, television, surround sound stereo system, my old computer (I have the boxes for the new one, of course), dishes, and pots and pans are the difficult and last items.
With all of that on my mind, for this day, for the most part, I have let that go. I simply enjoyed the day, remember more so to be thankful of life, relatively easy breath, friends, and family. I am grateful for the gifts of bread, food, some luxuries, a vehichle I trust and like, and a roof over my head. And I cannot forget to be humbly grateful for the sacrifice of God in Christ. To have Jesus, God incarnate, not only as my sovereign but also as my Brother, God as my Father, and the Holy Spirit as my Guide and Communicator, ensures that when I came home, I came home to a real Holy Family. In that Family, I am not just an adherent, but through the Eucharist, I become one with God. How good is that? I think only God knows the depth of that pool, but it is most certainly deep enough for all my needs and wants.
And, it is this, on this day, that I have thought of the most. More prayers than usual, a time for honest rest neither fighting myself to get going nor fighting my environment to get it done, this is a holy day. And, I have enjoyed keeping it as such for the most part. I hope your Sunday brings you rest and a closer walk with God.
Good night. Have a great week.
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