Every once in a while it all makes some sense.

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Though I do have real difficulties, I am allowed to see others who are far more troubled. There are various ways I see this. When I have felt bad about having a bit of a belly, I saw a show about the 1,000 pound man. I am, generally speaking, able to physically do anything anyone else can do and sometimes I can do far more. I can, generally, cook for myself, shop, take care of all my basic needs, and move around. That man could not even go to the bathroom! But there are other cases. I see disabled people who so poorly manage any moneys or alms they receive, or receive so little, that they live in squalor, and or on the streets, and do not eat and drink well, and further, they seem to fall into dark lives through being broken down or giving up. As well, as bad as I may have been before finding my way Home, I see others who have lived far worse. Though I parted from God, and I did indeed sin, my sins were more animal. I had many relationships, I fought a good deal, I was not necessarily trustworthy in peripheral manners, but I did not seek out evil for it’s own sake. The one I discuss came back Home as well. But I see many who will not end their ways. Considering all, I am very blessed.

I completed a few chores today. I will not list them, as they are quite minor. However, it is more than I have been able to do in over a week. I am setting up to do even more work tonight. Perhaps if I can nibble at the cracker, eventually my psyche can find a way to consume the whole thing. And then, begin a diet of simple task crackers that end up feeding my needs. My exhaustion is a horror, still. If I did not have a history, I would seek medical attention. It is as if I have a minor stroke, only the weakness is distributed to both sides of my body, therefore not quite literally crippling. Breathing is difficult, staying awake is difficult, moving around is tough. A few tasks completed is actually a big thing. I do not know if doing more will really help me get out of this. It cannot hurt though, and it might play a part in improving my health and capacity to do more. It is difficult to see anything clearly, though, at the moment.

My mother received her flowers today. I was not awake to receive any of her calls, but from the messages, I think she was very happy. I still think it is too funny how pleased women are with flowers and getting them on certain days! I cannot seem to please women in general, and generally. But if this is it, then so be it. I will probably call another woman on Mother’s Day. Though she no longer has contact with her children, she did give birth, and she loved as she could or understood. Oh, and I ought to keep that flower thing in mind. If a woman cries, all I know is it is either really good or really bad. This one, I think, is good. *grins*

Well, I should try to figure out what I am trying to figure out. And, once that is done, perhaps I ought to try and act on it. Pickled pork feet await as a treat for some successful work.