.
.
I was taking a nap in order to be to a dinner this evening. One I knew was coming and had helped institute. People had pulled in to help do all the hard work, the people I know and trust locally. A punishment for... but they did it gladly. I even made it to town, in large part, to figure out some small ways of offering thanks. I laid down a few hours ago, to get some rest and be ready. I set the alarm for about 17:00. Before the alarm went off, I woke with a mouth full of bile. Well, who knows, and... you know, that CAN happen. I went on back to merry dreaming, or whatever. It happened another, then two, three, and then four more times. Okay, sleep is off, but so is dinner.
Several more times where it tried to happen since getting up. Had to choke it back, but could. I called in to let them know I was, apologetically, not going to be there. Now... what could cause that?
Well, there is the last month or two of nearly constant pushing. And I was awake all night, literally 22 hours up, then trying to take a two hour nap before going to an event. Well, and this, and that, and... oh... that. None of your bizwax, just... not tending to some things properly. So, yeah, okay, fair enough. It's just that these things don't always add up to what I am going through. Then again, usually I can't become conscious this quick, so perhaps I just don't remember? Now that's funny. Yeah, I am literally toying with pushing things so out of biological possibilities that the notion of having a stomach upset is truly... cute... or quaint... or something in those areas. Imagine pushing a gravestone aside, after having been put behind it dead, only to complain that you cut your hand a bit in the doing. Close enough. Now, I don't quite have the stone moved, mind you, not all the way. But just that I am up and at it should give some serious pause. Docs didn't believe I should be able to do what I was doing before I got my current gumption.
Never mind. I thought maybe milk, with a bit of cream, might settle my stomach. While it hasn't hurt, it hasn't helped. Not a cup, or three, but a quart of a nearly half and half mix. So I tried an apple. Nope. It's not stomach content upset, it seems, but... organ mechanics of some sort. At least I have kept the bile down the last few times it tried to paint my walls. Hmm... could do some research, now that I'm up. I've had this before, a few times in my life, unrelated to other illnesses, and with other illnesses. This is unrelated. I don't remember doing anything but waiting it out. I suppose, for the first time in my adult life, I am in the kind of shape that allows me to consider other possibilities... neither strong enough to just ignore, nor so weak I can't check. Yeah, I'll do some homework. Then again, it's actually nice to be able to vomit again. For decades, after the draino incident, I wasn't able to do that. It all had to go the long way. It might not sound great, unless you haven't been able to rid yourself of bad things the quick way. Trust me, this IS an upgrade.
You know, pure liquid bile is one of the nastiest things I have ever tasted. A hot stream of it just... Well, the milk did sort of coat and soothe the esophagus, a bit. I'm mostly immune from such, so it's just a minor comfort rather than need. It seems I have a whole stomach full and more on the way. Ugh. Oh, great, bile is about to find another way out. Been there, done that, too. It'll pass when I can get some decent sleep and eat something proper... at the right time, if nothing else. Always has before.
I NEED sleep. Back to bed for a while. Wake me when Death and Plague have had their fun and decided to head out to more productive work. And you think YOU have ornery brothers! Later.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Maybe not so much.
.
.
I got started on the kitchen. Got a bit done, but kept hitting the end of the rope. So, I took a break in order to attempt hitting the weights. I did take a run at it, a very short run. It's not that I am sore or stiff. I'm in excellent shape, as to feel. I simply didn't have anything to give, in either project... not much anyway. I did do some clearing in the kitchen, and will finish it up before too long. As for Monday, I will probably stick with a simple hike. Not a long or hard one, just... a hike. With the pack though. Rain or shine, I'll simply hit the trail. I need to get my real hiking boots polished before long, and waterproofed. They are in decent shape, it's just time before they wear too much. Summer and winter, for those. If, generally, in winter I put them up... mostly.
I just took a shower then a bath. It's been a while, and I needed it, deserved it. I'm sure glad foam sort of guided me into those, talked me through a bit. Now I'm making my own oil salts and my skin is coming around for it. Darned nice stuff. I'm not so much into the relaxing in the tub thing, but taking care of my feet, dry skin, and some wounds through the baths is all good. Hmm, maybe if I get some bath toys like I said. A little tonka truck, maybe a boat or two... Hey, it's the male thing. And there should be a bit of boy in every man, innit.
A bit more coffee and I hope to make it to town today. Those usual things I wish to check, plus a few extras. Three groups did the work, three groups to gift. I didn't give extra, beyond what was asked... thought that might be a problem. But who can refuse a thank you gift package? It's the only way to fly. I will just air dry a bit, finish dressing, and see what I can find about this and that. Yes, I am a bit worn. I have most of today, and tomorrow, to recharge. I think I'll be ducking most other things. Monday, other than the hike, I don't know. Hmm... my friend called, just got the message. I'll see what he is about. Could get him out, maybe even shooting, on top of the hike, Monday? Don't know. Wait... I could take him out with me today. No shooting, but a great escape, and maybe lunch. I wonder if he is up yet?
Yeah, later.
.
I got started on the kitchen. Got a bit done, but kept hitting the end of the rope. So, I took a break in order to attempt hitting the weights. I did take a run at it, a very short run. It's not that I am sore or stiff. I'm in excellent shape, as to feel. I simply didn't have anything to give, in either project... not much anyway. I did do some clearing in the kitchen, and will finish it up before too long. As for Monday, I will probably stick with a simple hike. Not a long or hard one, just... a hike. With the pack though. Rain or shine, I'll simply hit the trail. I need to get my real hiking boots polished before long, and waterproofed. They are in decent shape, it's just time before they wear too much. Summer and winter, for those. If, generally, in winter I put them up... mostly.
I just took a shower then a bath. It's been a while, and I needed it, deserved it. I'm sure glad foam sort of guided me into those, talked me through a bit. Now I'm making my own oil salts and my skin is coming around for it. Darned nice stuff. I'm not so much into the relaxing in the tub thing, but taking care of my feet, dry skin, and some wounds through the baths is all good. Hmm, maybe if I get some bath toys like I said. A little tonka truck, maybe a boat or two... Hey, it's the male thing. And there should be a bit of boy in every man, innit.
A bit more coffee and I hope to make it to town today. Those usual things I wish to check, plus a few extras. Three groups did the work, three groups to gift. I didn't give extra, beyond what was asked... thought that might be a problem. But who can refuse a thank you gift package? It's the only way to fly. I will just air dry a bit, finish dressing, and see what I can find about this and that. Yes, I am a bit worn. I have most of today, and tomorrow, to recharge. I think I'll be ducking most other things. Monday, other than the hike, I don't know. Hmm... my friend called, just got the message. I'll see what he is about. Could get him out, maybe even shooting, on top of the hike, Monday? Don't know. Wait... I could take him out with me today. No shooting, but a great escape, and maybe lunch. I wonder if he is up yet?
Yeah, later.
Three eggs.
.
.
I'll see how long eggs last. As I wrote, I boiled two dozen. I then peeled them, washed them off, gobbled three for good measure, and put the rest in a ziplock type bag. Putting that in the refrigerator. Hmm... two dozen equals 24, divided by 3 times 2... six... that's only a four day supply? Ugh. Still, I think I can do that. Let me see, 36 divided by 6 is a six day supply. If the eggs hold up well enough, I might go with that or 48. It's good easy food, keeps me away from junk, especially with fruit around. Real meat is for afternoons, or an occasional snack. I need to get charcoal, the real stuff, next time I am in town.
I'm not quite awake enough to bust into anything. I did make a pot of coffee, took my medicine, and will figure the rest out in time. It does take some time to do some things. For me, waking isn't just a ritual, it's a requirement. If I try to bust out, right when I wake, as I did yesterday with the boat, it costs a bit too much. Oh, I best do that once in a while anyway. Some days, in the real world, choice isn't one of the givens. Weather a rancher, farmer, banker, lawyer, or priest, when your job comes knocking, or a predictor or other problem, even as a drifter, you gotta move. Even if I escape fallen mans' escapades, mother nature will be there. Less forgiving but more honest. Do not think I will ever pretend that I believe mother nature is my friend. Mother nature, as I have suggested, is a bloody whore, looking for the one, or one group of children, to rule, and eat, the rest. She has no passion, other than to make the unbreakable. She will die, in the end, of flesh with the world, of will when all God's children graduate to fleshly beings with His will. It is the way of things. Oh, she may still exist, she just won't matter to immortals.
Life is good. I am quite pleased I worked out yesterday. I'll be happier if I get to that today. The kitchen has being hit, bit by bit, as I have been doing other things. So it won't be as big of a job as I had at first thought. I looked it over as I was making my first shot of coffee. No really small task, just not as big as it would have been had I not hit the other areas first. Adjacent areas just get a lick and a spit by happenstance, and so it was. And, what looks messy, will actually be rather less so than it seems. Washing the counters down looks like a big job, for some reason (allergic to some forms of washing on top of the vacuum cleaner? yeah). But it will be quick. While I am at it, at least after the counters are clean, I will put on lentils, rice, and quinoa. Between that, fruit, bacon, and eggs, I should have a steady diet of good stuff for morning and lunch. Protein and fat rich, with some vitamins and minerals thrown in for good measure. Then meat at night! Gotta do it if I want to do it right. For day trips, a bag of a few eggs, double bagged in an ice bag, will see me to a bite on the path or water. Toss in an apple or pear, and... done. Maybe a grapefruit. Just peel that and eat in sections.
Each time I begin to rely on the beast, it becomes stronger. Branded by God, it'll, I do believe, hold true. It will also see me to what needs to be done. Stronger, faster, smarter, more sure. What I kept down and out is now coming back out, a friend, companion, form of self, but one I can trust... to get me in, and if need be, as at the burn, to get me out. That was pure beast, I was so far out of my league I consciously could not see what the danger was. It could, did, and get me out. Wait until that thing is fully charged. It still won't be like what it was when I was young and that thing roamed, but... it's more than most can imagine. Just what I am doing is so far beyond my health conditions it is spooky... especially for those who know, including me. Yum!
Later.
.
I'll see how long eggs last. As I wrote, I boiled two dozen. I then peeled them, washed them off, gobbled three for good measure, and put the rest in a ziplock type bag. Putting that in the refrigerator. Hmm... two dozen equals 24, divided by 3 times 2... six... that's only a four day supply? Ugh. Still, I think I can do that. Let me see, 36 divided by 6 is a six day supply. If the eggs hold up well enough, I might go with that or 48. It's good easy food, keeps me away from junk, especially with fruit around. Real meat is for afternoons, or an occasional snack. I need to get charcoal, the real stuff, next time I am in town.
I'm not quite awake enough to bust into anything. I did make a pot of coffee, took my medicine, and will figure the rest out in time. It does take some time to do some things. For me, waking isn't just a ritual, it's a requirement. If I try to bust out, right when I wake, as I did yesterday with the boat, it costs a bit too much. Oh, I best do that once in a while anyway. Some days, in the real world, choice isn't one of the givens. Weather a rancher, farmer, banker, lawyer, or priest, when your job comes knocking, or a predictor or other problem, even as a drifter, you gotta move. Even if I escape fallen mans' escapades, mother nature will be there. Less forgiving but more honest. Do not think I will ever pretend that I believe mother nature is my friend. Mother nature, as I have suggested, is a bloody whore, looking for the one, or one group of children, to rule, and eat, the rest. She has no passion, other than to make the unbreakable. She will die, in the end, of flesh with the world, of will when all God's children graduate to fleshly beings with His will. It is the way of things. Oh, she may still exist, she just won't matter to immortals.
Life is good. I am quite pleased I worked out yesterday. I'll be happier if I get to that today. The kitchen has being hit, bit by bit, as I have been doing other things. So it won't be as big of a job as I had at first thought. I looked it over as I was making my first shot of coffee. No really small task, just not as big as it would have been had I not hit the other areas first. Adjacent areas just get a lick and a spit by happenstance, and so it was. And, what looks messy, will actually be rather less so than it seems. Washing the counters down looks like a big job, for some reason (allergic to some forms of washing on top of the vacuum cleaner? yeah). But it will be quick. While I am at it, at least after the counters are clean, I will put on lentils, rice, and quinoa. Between that, fruit, bacon, and eggs, I should have a steady diet of good stuff for morning and lunch. Protein and fat rich, with some vitamins and minerals thrown in for good measure. Then meat at night! Gotta do it if I want to do it right. For day trips, a bag of a few eggs, double bagged in an ice bag, will see me to a bite on the path or water. Toss in an apple or pear, and... done. Maybe a grapefruit. Just peel that and eat in sections.
Each time I begin to rely on the beast, it becomes stronger. Branded by God, it'll, I do believe, hold true. It will also see me to what needs to be done. Stronger, faster, smarter, more sure. What I kept down and out is now coming back out, a friend, companion, form of self, but one I can trust... to get me in, and if need be, as at the burn, to get me out. That was pure beast, I was so far out of my league I consciously could not see what the danger was. It could, did, and get me out. Wait until that thing is fully charged. It still won't be like what it was when I was young and that thing roamed, but... it's more than most can imagine. Just what I am doing is so far beyond my health conditions it is spooky... especially for those who know, including me. Yum!
Later.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Still got mojo, so...
.
.
Since I couldn't get out hiking today, too late when I woke, I'll hit the weights again. At some point in lifting, you can't do that. But when busting out, you can work out several times a day. Muscle is there, it just isn't coordinated. It is not being fully taxed in a single session of single sets. Later on, when exercises are being done to absolute exhaustion, then you have to back off and put all the eggs in one basket. That is weeks, though more likely months, away. So... another run on the iron tonight is just fine.
After that, and probably a rest, I will rip into the kitchen. The goal is to get the kitchen to the point where I can easily break it down for mopping. Plus clean the counters, put away some remaining dishes in the drainer, and clear the place. What I don't use regularly is either put away if somewhat useful or tossed if just a once in a great while or never used item. Just do it! Then, perhaps, if I still have the energy, I will sweep all areas, mop the niche and bathroom, then see if... after those areas are dry and everything put back in them, whether I can then clear the kitchen and mop in there... and vacuum the area rug in the niche. It might be possible.
If this gets done, then on to the living room Monday. Well, and rafting/hiking, along with some shopping. I am keeping up, even when I fall. I've got to keep up, get up when I fall, and pretty much sprint through life at this point. If it all falls, I need to be ready to move, or set in position until I can or should move. It is becoming dangerous. Jade Helm 15 has Texas and Utah as target areas for the military. The military is trying to sneak around in your communities, doing God knows what, though treating citizens as if we are the enemy. You don't always get warnings, but when you do, pay fucking attention.
Funny... I'm opening up my wild side to follow the brand I allowed God to put on me, and the love of life, while "civilized" "Christians" have surrendered to a genocidal notion of worldly origins. I just mean to escape. They mean to civilize those they disagree with by any means necessary, or simply resign to it. I will give up my worldly notions, ease of life, and any hope of access to wealth in order to follow God's will. Talk about the shoe being on the other foot now. Very few, perhaps God only, would ever have even imagined this turn of events. Balls! Still, it's what I've got, what I must do, and just the way things go. His will, not mine, as my brother taught me. Thankfully I don't have to take His path. Still, as John the Baptist, I will still end up in similar straights, only in my time and place, which isn't here or in the absolute near future. Maybe not even in this particular skin-suit. But it does have to happen. Just... not yet, not now, not soon. Though just like Joseph and Mary, I will have to... scoot to keep the nature I protect safe. So be it.
A bit stiff and sore, but getting more used to it. I have an event tomorrow evening. Hmm... if I get through my gig, I may be able to get in shopping. There are a few things I would like to buy, on my list, and a few things that have been put on my list. I know some people won't accept some gifts, so I get them others. Tomorrow, or soon. A little thank you on a doorstep or three. It's just how it has to be. Leave, ring door, run. *grin*
Later.
.
Since I couldn't get out hiking today, too late when I woke, I'll hit the weights again. At some point in lifting, you can't do that. But when busting out, you can work out several times a day. Muscle is there, it just isn't coordinated. It is not being fully taxed in a single session of single sets. Later on, when exercises are being done to absolute exhaustion, then you have to back off and put all the eggs in one basket. That is weeks, though more likely months, away. So... another run on the iron tonight is just fine.
After that, and probably a rest, I will rip into the kitchen. The goal is to get the kitchen to the point where I can easily break it down for mopping. Plus clean the counters, put away some remaining dishes in the drainer, and clear the place. What I don't use regularly is either put away if somewhat useful or tossed if just a once in a great while or never used item. Just do it! Then, perhaps, if I still have the energy, I will sweep all areas, mop the niche and bathroom, then see if... after those areas are dry and everything put back in them, whether I can then clear the kitchen and mop in there... and vacuum the area rug in the niche. It might be possible.
If this gets done, then on to the living room Monday. Well, and rafting/hiking, along with some shopping. I am keeping up, even when I fall. I've got to keep up, get up when I fall, and pretty much sprint through life at this point. If it all falls, I need to be ready to move, or set in position until I can or should move. It is becoming dangerous. Jade Helm 15 has Texas and Utah as target areas for the military. The military is trying to sneak around in your communities, doing God knows what, though treating citizens as if we are the enemy. You don't always get warnings, but when you do, pay fucking attention.
Funny... I'm opening up my wild side to follow the brand I allowed God to put on me, and the love of life, while "civilized" "Christians" have surrendered to a genocidal notion of worldly origins. I just mean to escape. They mean to civilize those they disagree with by any means necessary, or simply resign to it. I will give up my worldly notions, ease of life, and any hope of access to wealth in order to follow God's will. Talk about the shoe being on the other foot now. Very few, perhaps God only, would ever have even imagined this turn of events. Balls! Still, it's what I've got, what I must do, and just the way things go. His will, not mine, as my brother taught me. Thankfully I don't have to take His path. Still, as John the Baptist, I will still end up in similar straights, only in my time and place, which isn't here or in the absolute near future. Maybe not even in this particular skin-suit. But it does have to happen. Just... not yet, not now, not soon. Though just like Joseph and Mary, I will have to... scoot to keep the nature I protect safe. So be it.
A bit stiff and sore, but getting more used to it. I have an event tomorrow evening. Hmm... if I get through my gig, I may be able to get in shopping. There are a few things I would like to buy, on my list, and a few things that have been put on my list. I know some people won't accept some gifts, so I get them others. Tomorrow, or soon. A little thank you on a doorstep or three. It's just how it has to be. Leave, ring door, run. *grin*
Later.
Yeah, best hurry.
.
.
I did the bit of dishes needed, put eggs on to boil then have them cooling, and fluffed the laundry. I still have the last half of dishes to do and will be folding the laundry. And, yes, I went out to the bench to work out. I added no weights to the curl bar, ten pounds to each dumbbell, and seventy pounds to the barbell. Next time I will had thirty pounds to the curl bar, leaving the others the same. I'll do that for a three workouts, then probably raise the dumbbells and curls, followed by the barbells. I don't have the luxury of taking time. Risks will have to be taken.
I'll finish the last bits shortly, then sleep. I am hoping to get out to the stores, and hiking. I need to find a place to hike even when it is dark. I have ways of dealing with that. It's just that I can't guarantee I'll be able to hike when most parks are open. There is town, but I hate hiking in towns and cities. I'll find a place before long. Doesn't have to be an official path, just out and alone... or at least out and away, but without having to worry about traffic or worried dwellers.
I'll also be setting out my weight vest, starting at twenty or thirty pounds, working my way to the hundred pound mark, hopefully by next spring. Can't go beyond that, but I can get wrist and ankle weights to add to it. Yeah, I've... got to get ready.
I have to push. I can rest when I collapse, fail. Then I have to get back up, before I am ready. That is how life is going to be from now on. It's just the way of it. I best get going. Good night.
.
I did the bit of dishes needed, put eggs on to boil then have them cooling, and fluffed the laundry. I still have the last half of dishes to do and will be folding the laundry. And, yes, I went out to the bench to work out. I added no weights to the curl bar, ten pounds to each dumbbell, and seventy pounds to the barbell. Next time I will had thirty pounds to the curl bar, leaving the others the same. I'll do that for a three workouts, then probably raise the dumbbells and curls, followed by the barbells. I don't have the luxury of taking time. Risks will have to be taken.
I'll finish the last bits shortly, then sleep. I am hoping to get out to the stores, and hiking. I need to find a place to hike even when it is dark. I have ways of dealing with that. It's just that I can't guarantee I'll be able to hike when most parks are open. There is town, but I hate hiking in towns and cities. I'll find a place before long. Doesn't have to be an official path, just out and alone... or at least out and away, but without having to worry about traffic or worried dwellers.
I'll also be setting out my weight vest, starting at twenty or thirty pounds, working my way to the hundred pound mark, hopefully by next spring. Can't go beyond that, but I can get wrist and ankle weights to add to it. Yeah, I've... got to get ready.
I have to push. I can rest when I collapse, fail. Then I have to get back up, before I am ready. That is how life is going to be from now on. It's just the way of it. I best get going. Good night.
I thought wrong.
.
.
I hoped I could do what I had planned, then hit the bench. While the kayak was easy enough to gear, tinkering with it, then taking it down and moving it in a hurry, took more out of me than I had thought it would. No worries, there was enough left to keep going. It's just that pushing things cost more, it just does. Pushing things on top of pushing things costs more than even that. I did make it to town, stopping at three stores and for fast food. A meat sandwhich, with unsweetened iced tea, mind you. Pretty much cutting out fries and softdrinks. Oh, a treat, once a every week or two, I'll hit fries or a soda. Then to groceries. I'm adding apples and pears in, got enough eggs for general use, plus enough to pickle six to eight dozen. Those won't really be ready for about six weeks after pickling, but I can start in on them tomorrow. Plus, I'll be boiling a dozen or two eggs, just to have on hand for quick easy breakfasts and lunches. If I start rolling, three eggs for breakfast and lunch, plus a little something on the side, fruit, bacon, or a legume and grain slurry of the wholer variety. Along with fruit, carrots, and peanut butter as snacks.
I have to take things seriously if I am going to push on through. If life was pain before, for me to make it, life will go from being occasionally painful to being on the permanent edge of pain. I guess, if I fall down, that will be that until I can get back up. But once up, I have to work until it hurts and then keep on going. Initially, that doesn't mean much. Most of you live lives I couldn't, at this point. Just getting up every day at the same time is beyond me. Just your daily chores, job, and such, are more than I can do... definitely on a schedule, one that is stretched out. I can probably do more in a given time, and perhaps substantially more, just not continually or even on a clock. I have to do it on my time.
I figure, I can use the rice cooker to cook a batch of quinoa, rice, and lentils. There should be enough, that along with the eggs, it will last a week per mix. It can take up to 2 cups dry, which turns into about 4 to 6 cups cooked. A little hot spice one day, bacon the next, something to change it up from time to time, and it should all be good. Gotta have food, heavier on proteins, then fats, with carbs, veggies, and fruits coming in last. And lots of water. I'll have to see if the heart can be improved fast enough so that the water pills don't get messed up. It'll get a little tricky in there, but, if my schedule holds, there is time to work out the kinks.
The shopping trips busted me up a bit. Along with messing with the boat, dealing with the dishes (so far), and such, today has been a gangbuster day. I am not through, either. I am about to set the dryer to fluff that load, take care of some of the dishes until the alarm tells me the laundry is done, finish the laundry, then see where I am at. I'll probably need a break. Best take my night medicines... trying to take those by time of day rather than sleep schedule. It keeps me more aware of the real time of the world, and yet allows me to sleep when and how I need. Hmm... I've I'm a good boy, and finish the dishes tonight, I might take a hot sudsy bath. Yeah, it's a treat.
Tomorrow? If I can drag my butt out of bed, then out of the chair, I'll hit the kitchen. The goal is to vacate the place, save for what I really use daily (almost nothing), and sweep. Have it ready to fully vacate after I mop those other areas. When they dry, move everything out of the kitchen, then mop in there right away. When the kitchen is dry, move everything back. Then I start tearing into the living room. Hopefully, before long, I'll be able to get out for a hike, and still work, and add in weight lifting, and then eventually play... like getting the canoe to the water. It's coming, it will happen. Hmm... but I would like to get in and find some things too. I want to price check the gps I have in mind, and look for a mudstick anchor. I found an anchor tonight that should work for one. I want the kayak at least minimally rigged before I hit the water.
Later.
.
I hoped I could do what I had planned, then hit the bench. While the kayak was easy enough to gear, tinkering with it, then taking it down and moving it in a hurry, took more out of me than I had thought it would. No worries, there was enough left to keep going. It's just that pushing things cost more, it just does. Pushing things on top of pushing things costs more than even that. I did make it to town, stopping at three stores and for fast food. A meat sandwhich, with unsweetened iced tea, mind you. Pretty much cutting out fries and softdrinks. Oh, a treat, once a every week or two, I'll hit fries or a soda. Then to groceries. I'm adding apples and pears in, got enough eggs for general use, plus enough to pickle six to eight dozen. Those won't really be ready for about six weeks after pickling, but I can start in on them tomorrow. Plus, I'll be boiling a dozen or two eggs, just to have on hand for quick easy breakfasts and lunches. If I start rolling, three eggs for breakfast and lunch, plus a little something on the side, fruit, bacon, or a legume and grain slurry of the wholer variety. Along with fruit, carrots, and peanut butter as snacks.
I have to take things seriously if I am going to push on through. If life was pain before, for me to make it, life will go from being occasionally painful to being on the permanent edge of pain. I guess, if I fall down, that will be that until I can get back up. But once up, I have to work until it hurts and then keep on going. Initially, that doesn't mean much. Most of you live lives I couldn't, at this point. Just getting up every day at the same time is beyond me. Just your daily chores, job, and such, are more than I can do... definitely on a schedule, one that is stretched out. I can probably do more in a given time, and perhaps substantially more, just not continually or even on a clock. I have to do it on my time.
I figure, I can use the rice cooker to cook a batch of quinoa, rice, and lentils. There should be enough, that along with the eggs, it will last a week per mix. It can take up to 2 cups dry, which turns into about 4 to 6 cups cooked. A little hot spice one day, bacon the next, something to change it up from time to time, and it should all be good. Gotta have food, heavier on proteins, then fats, with carbs, veggies, and fruits coming in last. And lots of water. I'll have to see if the heart can be improved fast enough so that the water pills don't get messed up. It'll get a little tricky in there, but, if my schedule holds, there is time to work out the kinks.
The shopping trips busted me up a bit. Along with messing with the boat, dealing with the dishes (so far), and such, today has been a gangbuster day. I am not through, either. I am about to set the dryer to fluff that load, take care of some of the dishes until the alarm tells me the laundry is done, finish the laundry, then see where I am at. I'll probably need a break. Best take my night medicines... trying to take those by time of day rather than sleep schedule. It keeps me more aware of the real time of the world, and yet allows me to sleep when and how I need. Hmm... I've I'm a good boy, and finish the dishes tonight, I might take a hot sudsy bath. Yeah, it's a treat.
Tomorrow? If I can drag my butt out of bed, then out of the chair, I'll hit the kitchen. The goal is to vacate the place, save for what I really use daily (almost nothing), and sweep. Have it ready to fully vacate after I mop those other areas. When they dry, move everything out of the kitchen, then mop in there right away. When the kitchen is dry, move everything back. Then I start tearing into the living room. Hopefully, before long, I'll be able to get out for a hike, and still work, and add in weight lifting, and then eventually play... like getting the canoe to the water. It's coming, it will happen. Hmm... but I would like to get in and find some things too. I want to price check the gps I have in mind, and look for a mudstick anchor. I found an anchor tonight that should work for one. I want the kayak at least minimally rigged before I hit the water.
Later.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
I'll do what I can.
.
.
Could not shove through the shower last night. Slept long and hard. I have no idea when I went to bed, or actually when I woke. Someone at the door. Neighbor's son, asking if he could mow. Well... Sure! He was trying to beat the storm. As it turns out, he did. He is one of the people, along with family as they wish or can, I hope to take out paddling and fishing this year. Well, after I get the controls down myself. Once I can paddle well enough solo, then I'll feel more comfortable taking others. Reminds me, I need to find my own lifevest.
So, while he was doing the lawn, I decided to get the boat up for the first time. I put the tarp out, got the boat out and ready, found the pump, and went at it. Having just awaken, I had neither much strength or coordination. Still, I was able to pump the boat in about five minutes fairly easily. Yeah, I wanted to show my new rig, and test some things with someone else here. I can carry the boat over my head without too much trouble. Wind might make that rather tricky though. But two people make that an easy gig. After looking at it, I believe it will probably fit not just three people, but three seats as well, easy enough. No one will have to go kneeling, unless they want to. I found something else out that I hadn't realized. The floor is solid enough to be used as a SUP, meaning I can stand and paddle... in the right conditions. That is awesome. It means when my butt gets tired of being planted, I can go for a stand... possible. Wouldn't want to do that with a lot of wind or chop, of course... probably. Yeah... you know that means I've gotta try it in just such conditions. Gonna happen!
I gave him some sugar-free coolaid while he took his break and looked over the craft. Then gave him a couple dollars for a soda, since soda is far superior. It's just, all I had was the cool-aid stuff. He actually liked it though. Strawberry, orange, banana flavored crystal light... It's actually the most refreshing of their flavors, that I have tried, after a bit of work or for a light sip. The others are okay, but a bit heavier to the palate, as I sense things. I need more of that, I'll put it on my list as I go to town. Hmm, should get in today, now that I am clean. Perhaps even a stop at one or both of the sporting goods stores on my way. If they are open.
Yeah, I best get going. We are having absolutely fantastic thunderstorms, have been for days. Unusual, for here, but we needed the rain and are getting it. I love my thunderstorms. Rarely get them here. That was summer in Iowa. The downside was tornadoes that came with them in Iowa. Not here, at least not nearly so much. Yeah... I best get in. I'm hoping to see some lightening. If not, the clouds and rain will be fun... full bursts. Love me some shower storms.
Before I go, I will set the dishes to a rinse soak. I can't swear I am getting back to things, but I'll take every opportunity I can get. Do what I can, when I can, and even push that. My trip to town is pushing. Good, good. There will come a time when life is nothing but push in order to simply survive. I best prepare for it. Later.
.
Could not shove through the shower last night. Slept long and hard. I have no idea when I went to bed, or actually when I woke. Someone at the door. Neighbor's son, asking if he could mow. Well... Sure! He was trying to beat the storm. As it turns out, he did. He is one of the people, along with family as they wish or can, I hope to take out paddling and fishing this year. Well, after I get the controls down myself. Once I can paddle well enough solo, then I'll feel more comfortable taking others. Reminds me, I need to find my own lifevest.
So, while he was doing the lawn, I decided to get the boat up for the first time. I put the tarp out, got the boat out and ready, found the pump, and went at it. Having just awaken, I had neither much strength or coordination. Still, I was able to pump the boat in about five minutes fairly easily. Yeah, I wanted to show my new rig, and test some things with someone else here. I can carry the boat over my head without too much trouble. Wind might make that rather tricky though. But two people make that an easy gig. After looking at it, I believe it will probably fit not just three people, but three seats as well, easy enough. No one will have to go kneeling, unless they want to. I found something else out that I hadn't realized. The floor is solid enough to be used as a SUP, meaning I can stand and paddle... in the right conditions. That is awesome. It means when my butt gets tired of being planted, I can go for a stand... possible. Wouldn't want to do that with a lot of wind or chop, of course... probably. Yeah... you know that means I've gotta try it in just such conditions. Gonna happen!
I gave him some sugar-free coolaid while he took his break and looked over the craft. Then gave him a couple dollars for a soda, since soda is far superior. It's just, all I had was the cool-aid stuff. He actually liked it though. Strawberry, orange, banana flavored crystal light... It's actually the most refreshing of their flavors, that I have tried, after a bit of work or for a light sip. The others are okay, but a bit heavier to the palate, as I sense things. I need more of that, I'll put it on my list as I go to town. Hmm, should get in today, now that I am clean. Perhaps even a stop at one or both of the sporting goods stores on my way. If they are open.
Yeah, I best get going. We are having absolutely fantastic thunderstorms, have been for days. Unusual, for here, but we needed the rain and are getting it. I love my thunderstorms. Rarely get them here. That was summer in Iowa. The downside was tornadoes that came with them in Iowa. Not here, at least not nearly so much. Yeah... I best get in. I'm hoping to see some lightening. If not, the clouds and rain will be fun... full bursts. Love me some shower storms.
Before I go, I will set the dishes to a rinse soak. I can't swear I am getting back to things, but I'll take every opportunity I can get. Do what I can, when I can, and even push that. My trip to town is pushing. Good, good. There will come a time when life is nothing but push in order to simply survive. I best prepare for it. Later.
Having to push.
.
.
While I can't do a lot, I want to get something done. If I can't, I can't, if I can sometimes I will. Yesterday I was pretty much down and done. Which... was fine. Needed it. I knew I would be hitting the wall sooner or later. I almost thought I could keep running another month. I wasn't sure how long or far down I would go either. I seem to be back able to push just a bit. Dishes were washed, and several other small chores were done. I think I might still be able to get out yet tonight. I would rather go in the morning. Problem is I need a few things now. I just may have to compromise on what brands or available. I can usually find my preferred cream, but not milk, not always.
I had also hoped to shop for a pair of types of anchors, kit for an anchor trolley, and perhaps look for pvc piping, canvas/drop cloth material, and other bits and parts to set up a sun screen for the boat. I don't have to be too particular, so long as I buy enough extra. There are going to be mistakes, it will be engineering on the fly. Goes with the territory. Then again, if I get groceries out of the way, that task, as well as price checking a specific gps device, will be easier. Tomorrow I will either try to get out hiking, or lift weights. Probably weights. The weather is still a bit cool and it is raining. Not a problem, if I am doing well. But right now it's bringing me low, along with everything else.
I have been able to eat. Ah, but I better get charcoal. I left all I had at the burn, though I had meant to use it there, so all good. But that means I need more. For the most part I am holding off on big purchases until I find out if some other expenses are coming in or not. Even so, I will begin cutting my spending for a couple of months. I have a decent little egg, but it is on the smaller, more fragile side. Enough for groceries, gas, and general living. Still, a couple of months of mostly watching pennies will see me in a bit better shape. The only thing this month might be a gps and the anchors and trolley setup. Well, and one other thing that was pre-planned and is already worked into the budget.
Yeah, a shower and bath, I believe. Then I'll start the dryer to fluff the clothes, set the dishes to a hot rinse, and then decide if it is too late to go to town... whether I should just try to wait until morning. Perhaps take a nap, once I am dry, then just shower quickly before actually going to town, if I go later. Some of it depends on how long this little push lasts. Hungry, though... Yeah, I'll have a bite to eat before anything else. Ugh... dragging... And yet back at it, at least in small ways. I hope to hit the kitchen tomorrow, plus maybe mopping all of those floor out there, in cycles, through the day. Hungry! Later.
.
While I can't do a lot, I want to get something done. If I can't, I can't, if I can sometimes I will. Yesterday I was pretty much down and done. Which... was fine. Needed it. I knew I would be hitting the wall sooner or later. I almost thought I could keep running another month. I wasn't sure how long or far down I would go either. I seem to be back able to push just a bit. Dishes were washed, and several other small chores were done. I think I might still be able to get out yet tonight. I would rather go in the morning. Problem is I need a few things now. I just may have to compromise on what brands or available. I can usually find my preferred cream, but not milk, not always.
I had also hoped to shop for a pair of types of anchors, kit for an anchor trolley, and perhaps look for pvc piping, canvas/drop cloth material, and other bits and parts to set up a sun screen for the boat. I don't have to be too particular, so long as I buy enough extra. There are going to be mistakes, it will be engineering on the fly. Goes with the territory. Then again, if I get groceries out of the way, that task, as well as price checking a specific gps device, will be easier. Tomorrow I will either try to get out hiking, or lift weights. Probably weights. The weather is still a bit cool and it is raining. Not a problem, if I am doing well. But right now it's bringing me low, along with everything else.
I have been able to eat. Ah, but I better get charcoal. I left all I had at the burn, though I had meant to use it there, so all good. But that means I need more. For the most part I am holding off on big purchases until I find out if some other expenses are coming in or not. Even so, I will begin cutting my spending for a couple of months. I have a decent little egg, but it is on the smaller, more fragile side. Enough for groceries, gas, and general living. Still, a couple of months of mostly watching pennies will see me in a bit better shape. The only thing this month might be a gps and the anchors and trolley setup. Well, and one other thing that was pre-planned and is already worked into the budget.
Yeah, a shower and bath, I believe. Then I'll start the dryer to fluff the clothes, set the dishes to a hot rinse, and then decide if it is too late to go to town... whether I should just try to wait until morning. Perhaps take a nap, once I am dry, then just shower quickly before actually going to town, if I go later. Some of it depends on how long this little push lasts. Hungry, though... Yeah, I'll have a bite to eat before anything else. Ugh... dragging... And yet back at it, at least in small ways. I hope to hit the kitchen tomorrow, plus maybe mopping all of those floor out there, in cycles, through the day. Hungry! Later.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
It had to happen.
.
.
I've been pushing for three, four, maybe five weeks now. Yesterday I hit a block. A storm system came in though too. That isn't helping, in one sense, but it isn't the problem. I used batteries I didn't know existed for a month, drained every bit of everything I had, and this is what happens. I'm not even worried about it though. If you drive a vehicle, you have to stop for gas and do maintenance and oil changes. Thems the rules. I have driven my body-auto, literally and figuratively, on an extended trip. All good, all the way around. I haven't done something like this since I was healthy. Further, I am not done, just done for a few days.
It isn't the sore muscles, the stiffness from using joints and burdening bones in ways I haven't for decades. It isn't even, really, from being out of energy. It isn't a will thing. My body simply stopped. Like when you get the flu, and it literally takes your legs out from under you. No symptoms. No greater or worse pains. I am simply tired. Actually, I needed some rest in all ways, so it works to my benefit. The weather, being cool and wet out there, actually helps me rest. I don't know how long this will last. Until it does, I am down.
The areas to be mopped will stay open until I get to them. Before I mop, I hope to get the kitchen sorted out first, when next I can work. That way I can mop out there, pretty much, all in one go. It's a bit more complicated than being able to do one major single shot mopping, due to furniture, the floor rug, and such, but I can make it all as close as possible. I will be grilling food as the way to keep the kitchen clean for a while. I may try to get the dishes done yet tonight, and tumble the clothes I washed and get those out, plus get a shower and go to town for some shopping. Shopping has priority, thus the shower as well.
The boat arrived today. I won't be messing with it while it is raining, or threatening to rain. But soon. I need to make sure they didn't send me an old version of the boat. It is heavier and doesn't have some superior features. Yeah, they try to dump out-of-date stock on suckers. I can't wait to tear into it, then get it on the water. I have wanted a boat for a long time, but didn't really trust inflatables until a more recent review. Yeah, sure, I've been on inflatables... through my time... but those were always owned and maintained by others, usually pretty much brand new, and not on my nickle. I just didn't trust them for the longhaul, until recently... after a ton of investigating.
I'll pick up and go, again, when I am ready, when I can... perhaps before. Weights, paddling, hiking, camping, cleaning and sorting here at home. Some things will have to give. As I suggested, cooking a couple of various meals, once a week on Saturdays maybe Fridays, that last the week. That and boiling eggs for the week. Easy, cheap, fast but good food. I'll keep enough extra on hand to do a special meal once in a while. Besides eggs, I remember the academics I stayed with... the Mister... made a mash of whole grains and legumes for breakfast. Split peas, probably whole grain rice, lentil... give or take. He'd cook enough for about a week, put them in a pyrex cake pan, then have those for breakfast every day. Sort of bland as he didn't use salt, but a touch of salt and pepper and that was pretty good. I figure, if I added quinoa, that could be a serious add or option to boiled eggs. Or, mix and match. He did it for literal health reasons, and taking care the best he could. I'd just be doing it as a solid nutritional thing. If I'm going back to being a working dog, I need the right chow.
Blessed, though. To be this stiff and sore, and this low from work, is an absolute joy. I am hoping I can build through, and on, this. Eventually, perhaps, I can stretch the runs for months, maybe a year. I have to be fit before turning back out into the world, especially where I am planning to go and what I am planning to do there. There will be time for downtime. But uptime will not always be a choice. Gotta do what you gotta do out there, and mother nature is as forgiving as an ax murderer on a spree. You do, you win, or you become the next meal for something(s). The first few years, setting up a cabin, figuring out water, perhaps creating indoor plumbing, is the beast. But, out there, you can never ignore your environment, flora, or fauna. Then again, probably beyond most folk, I am almost always ready... in some senses. I couldn't imagine depending on civil nature, politics, the police, and military for my ultimate or immediate security. Most people live like that without a thought. Amazing, to me, and frightening. I know, and they should, that when trouble comes calling, they are it. That fast. This I know, and tend, to this day. Blessed. In many ways.
My muscles are tightening. I won't say I've built anything. I doubt if I will, not all that much. Truth be told, I never wanted to increase muscle bulk, save if it lead directly to valuable strength. See those muscleheads (I call it manorexia)? Besides shooting or downing drugs that aren't good, there is the risk of injury just from the kind of lifting they do. Even the organics are terribly at risk. Further, much of that muscle is pretty much useless. It isn't functional muscle, so it is a waste of calorie intake to maintain. As well, it degrades flexibility, speed, agility. I suppose I ought to be honest. I have always honed for strength and in order to maintain raw speed. It just works out that this is excellent for minimizing calorie intake requirements. Purpose built and maintained, at one time. While muscle is what burns fat, I am not certain that artificial and useless muscle does that all that well. Never seen a study, just a suspicion. It might even bog the body down, beyond not burning the calories off that it takes to maintain? Not sure, suspicious, as usual. Better to be powerful, wiry, and quick. At least for my applications.
Hmm... I might hit the dishes first, so as to shower with a clear conscience... then shower, put the dishes in for a final rinse, and head to town. Yeah, I suggested I didn't need to wash the dishes again, but... they have been sitting long enough that... I just think it's better. Later.
.
I've been pushing for three, four, maybe five weeks now. Yesterday I hit a block. A storm system came in though too. That isn't helping, in one sense, but it isn't the problem. I used batteries I didn't know existed for a month, drained every bit of everything I had, and this is what happens. I'm not even worried about it though. If you drive a vehicle, you have to stop for gas and do maintenance and oil changes. Thems the rules. I have driven my body-auto, literally and figuratively, on an extended trip. All good, all the way around. I haven't done something like this since I was healthy. Further, I am not done, just done for a few days.
It isn't the sore muscles, the stiffness from using joints and burdening bones in ways I haven't for decades. It isn't even, really, from being out of energy. It isn't a will thing. My body simply stopped. Like when you get the flu, and it literally takes your legs out from under you. No symptoms. No greater or worse pains. I am simply tired. Actually, I needed some rest in all ways, so it works to my benefit. The weather, being cool and wet out there, actually helps me rest. I don't know how long this will last. Until it does, I am down.
The areas to be mopped will stay open until I get to them. Before I mop, I hope to get the kitchen sorted out first, when next I can work. That way I can mop out there, pretty much, all in one go. It's a bit more complicated than being able to do one major single shot mopping, due to furniture, the floor rug, and such, but I can make it all as close as possible. I will be grilling food as the way to keep the kitchen clean for a while. I may try to get the dishes done yet tonight, and tumble the clothes I washed and get those out, plus get a shower and go to town for some shopping. Shopping has priority, thus the shower as well.
The boat arrived today. I won't be messing with it while it is raining, or threatening to rain. But soon. I need to make sure they didn't send me an old version of the boat. It is heavier and doesn't have some superior features. Yeah, they try to dump out-of-date stock on suckers. I can't wait to tear into it, then get it on the water. I have wanted a boat for a long time, but didn't really trust inflatables until a more recent review. Yeah, sure, I've been on inflatables... through my time... but those were always owned and maintained by others, usually pretty much brand new, and not on my nickle. I just didn't trust them for the longhaul, until recently... after a ton of investigating.
I'll pick up and go, again, when I am ready, when I can... perhaps before. Weights, paddling, hiking, camping, cleaning and sorting here at home. Some things will have to give. As I suggested, cooking a couple of various meals, once a week on Saturdays maybe Fridays, that last the week. That and boiling eggs for the week. Easy, cheap, fast but good food. I'll keep enough extra on hand to do a special meal once in a while. Besides eggs, I remember the academics I stayed with... the Mister... made a mash of whole grains and legumes for breakfast. Split peas, probably whole grain rice, lentil... give or take. He'd cook enough for about a week, put them in a pyrex cake pan, then have those for breakfast every day. Sort of bland as he didn't use salt, but a touch of salt and pepper and that was pretty good. I figure, if I added quinoa, that could be a serious add or option to boiled eggs. Or, mix and match. He did it for literal health reasons, and taking care the best he could. I'd just be doing it as a solid nutritional thing. If I'm going back to being a working dog, I need the right chow.
Blessed, though. To be this stiff and sore, and this low from work, is an absolute joy. I am hoping I can build through, and on, this. Eventually, perhaps, I can stretch the runs for months, maybe a year. I have to be fit before turning back out into the world, especially where I am planning to go and what I am planning to do there. There will be time for downtime. But uptime will not always be a choice. Gotta do what you gotta do out there, and mother nature is as forgiving as an ax murderer on a spree. You do, you win, or you become the next meal for something(s). The first few years, setting up a cabin, figuring out water, perhaps creating indoor plumbing, is the beast. But, out there, you can never ignore your environment, flora, or fauna. Then again, probably beyond most folk, I am almost always ready... in some senses. I couldn't imagine depending on civil nature, politics, the police, and military for my ultimate or immediate security. Most people live like that without a thought. Amazing, to me, and frightening. I know, and they should, that when trouble comes calling, they are it. That fast. This I know, and tend, to this day. Blessed. In many ways.
My muscles are tightening. I won't say I've built anything. I doubt if I will, not all that much. Truth be told, I never wanted to increase muscle bulk, save if it lead directly to valuable strength. See those muscleheads (I call it manorexia)? Besides shooting or downing drugs that aren't good, there is the risk of injury just from the kind of lifting they do. Even the organics are terribly at risk. Further, much of that muscle is pretty much useless. It isn't functional muscle, so it is a waste of calorie intake to maintain. As well, it degrades flexibility, speed, agility. I suppose I ought to be honest. I have always honed for strength and in order to maintain raw speed. It just works out that this is excellent for minimizing calorie intake requirements. Purpose built and maintained, at one time. While muscle is what burns fat, I am not certain that artificial and useless muscle does that all that well. Never seen a study, just a suspicion. It might even bog the body down, beyond not burning the calories off that it takes to maintain? Not sure, suspicious, as usual. Better to be powerful, wiry, and quick. At least for my applications.
Hmm... I might hit the dishes first, so as to shower with a clear conscience... then shower, put the dishes in for a final rinse, and head to town. Yeah, I suggested I didn't need to wash the dishes again, but... they have been sitting long enough that... I just think it's better. Later.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
It isn't husbands who are missing.
.
.
I noticed over at Dr. Helen's the other day, a post asking where all the husbands have gone. I laughed immediately. Oh, I know she believes she is an ally, and I know she was taking the lede from another article or post. So this isn't, mostly, about her article.
The problem with even the idea that men are not available for marriage is a misconception at best. For one thing, marriage isn't what it has generally been considered, as an institution. Simply, any security once offered to men through matrimony is gone. Beside not having any surety of the old form of marriage, there are additional risks involved. She notes this, of course. I simply believe it needs to be pointed out much more clearly. There is no such thing as marriage at this point, not for men, certainly not traditional or faith-based. It's all a city hall contract, one that is not good for men.
However, the biggest thing is this, it isn't husbands who are missing, it is wives. How many women can even cook a good meal? How many women can bake a pie? How many women even consider doing domestic chores? Seriously, very few women even consider that. Further, most wish to have one or two children, at most, if you can coax them into even that! There are no wives. Lots of brides-to-be, wannabe wives, but nothing with substance. Too many of them are so busy working, and destroying the value of employment ensuring they can't be afforded as a stay at home wife and mother, to do the things that are needed for a family.
It isn't men, at all, who are missing from the equation. Men have simply begun to understand that it isn't in our interests to marry a typically already neurotic woman and hope she won't get bored (too bored, life does get boring), or want to find herself (she will, but will she destroy a family for it), or anything else. Women are not known for constancy. Freeing them has been much akin to letting a turkey go free, on Thanksgiving Day, from an ten story building. Heck, most women can't believe that their freedom has been more destructive to this nation than almost anything else. Men are here, always have been, always will be.
She suggests that it is just as easy to get sex outside of marriage, actually easier these days, than to get it inside of marriage. But that isn't it. Sure, easy sex sounds good, but sure sex is better. Hunting new dame game every few days is about as fun as picking one's nose. More, while men might well enjoy having more than one woman, the truth is most men seek an anchor. A single woman to be involved with. Even in the secular notions of society, having one main woman is... part of what society is built upon. It's not about the sex, or how easy that is outside of marriage, it's about not having the availability of a real wife or the security in which to build a family.
It is not going to get better. The laws created that allow for these things are doing exactly what they are meant to do, break down the family to increase dependence upon the government and weaken other natural bonds that create resistance to government. Either the government fails, an even worse government (global) replaces it, or the people decide they won't be ruled into slavery. It has been a slow but sure progress into decline, but it has been engineered, orchestrated. That the effects are now being felt, at least in these new ways, is just part of the growing pains of a death loving direction. It's a warning. If women wanted to marry, their are things they could do. But they won't. They like what they have more than marriage. Or, at this point, perhaps don't even see that they are the problem, or the solutions.
.
I noticed over at Dr. Helen's the other day, a post asking where all the husbands have gone. I laughed immediately. Oh, I know she believes she is an ally, and I know she was taking the lede from another article or post. So this isn't, mostly, about her article.
The problem with even the idea that men are not available for marriage is a misconception at best. For one thing, marriage isn't what it has generally been considered, as an institution. Simply, any security once offered to men through matrimony is gone. Beside not having any surety of the old form of marriage, there are additional risks involved. She notes this, of course. I simply believe it needs to be pointed out much more clearly. There is no such thing as marriage at this point, not for men, certainly not traditional or faith-based. It's all a city hall contract, one that is not good for men.
However, the biggest thing is this, it isn't husbands who are missing, it is wives. How many women can even cook a good meal? How many women can bake a pie? How many women even consider doing domestic chores? Seriously, very few women even consider that. Further, most wish to have one or two children, at most, if you can coax them into even that! There are no wives. Lots of brides-to-be, wannabe wives, but nothing with substance. Too many of them are so busy working, and destroying the value of employment ensuring they can't be afforded as a stay at home wife and mother, to do the things that are needed for a family.
She suggests that it is just as easy to get sex outside of marriage, actually easier these days, than to get it inside of marriage. But that isn't it. Sure, easy sex sounds good, but sure sex is better. Hunting new dame game every few days is about as fun as picking one's nose. More, while men might well enjoy having more than one woman, the truth is most men seek an anchor. A single woman to be involved with. Even in the secular notions of society, having one main woman is... part of what society is built upon. It's not about the sex, or how easy that is outside of marriage, it's about not having the availability of a real wife or the security in which to build a family.
It is not going to get better. The laws created that allow for these things are doing exactly what they are meant to do, break down the family to increase dependence upon the government and weaken other natural bonds that create resistance to government. Either the government fails, an even worse government (global) replaces it, or the people decide they won't be ruled into slavery. It has been a slow but sure progress into decline, but it has been engineered, orchestrated. That the effects are now being felt, at least in these new ways, is just part of the growing pains of a death loving direction. It's a warning. If women wanted to marry, their are things they could do. But they won't. They like what they have more than marriage. Or, at this point, perhaps don't even see that they are the problem, or the solutions.
About that nap.
.
.
Yeah, I did set the alarm. And I did hear it. I fussed with it for a bit too. How often I hit the snooze, if I reset the alarm, that I can't tell you. Eventually the thing was shut off and precious, beautiful, sleep was again entertained. Yes, pushing will do that. From about 5:00 (give or take) until about exactly 13:28 (according to my alarm, which is about an half hour fast), I slept like a tired dog. Without worrying about schedule, just keeping on track, I am much freer to do what I can, when I can, without fighting myself along the way. So it works as it will, if I do.
I am more sore than stiff as I wake. I fed the girls first thing, since my hours are so off. Cats, at least in my estimation, unlike dogs, don't need as regular of feeding. However, they do need and want food within certain boundaries. If they get too hungry, my girls will riot. Cat bras burning, doors being pounded, and little angry feet pounding through the joint tells me it's time... should I forget.
While I have the bathroom and niche cleared and swept, there was a good deal of dust from when I rolled up, and shook again, the niche rug. It's a big one. Anyway, I was too busy and tired to mess with the second little mess last night, but swept that area this morning. Nothing like grit underfoot to make even an old bear fussy. I surveyed the damage. It looks like I am getting well ahead in my plans and goals. I'm getting there, not going to worry about sleeping when I need it.
I need to do some shopping first. Cream for coffee, milk, that's about it. But that is essential, as I see things. I'll go shopping later this evening. I missed taking my bedtime meds, so took those when I woke. I'll take my morning pills in a couple of hours to reset that schedule. Yeah, I've been doing pretty good with medicines, all in all. I'd love to go hiking, I just don't think I can today. I might be able to hit the iron this evening though. I don't expect me to actually be perfect in my goals, ever. The plan is just that. So long as I hit several of the areas, keeping moving forward, and do what I reasonably can (and then some), I'm good with how things happen. Even if I should get right on top of things, as I fantasize, I will always miss this or that, over-schedule and screw up timing, and just plain miss from time to time. That is life.
Today will see the floors mopped. When those dry, I'll put the rug back and vacuum it on top of what it has already gotten. Then I start in on the kitchen. A lot of stuff will simply start being tossed. If it isn't being used, hasn't been used in a long while, or I just don't have a place for it, it'll get tossed. The idea is to clear and clean everything visible, put away what can go away, and then sweep and mop, clean the counters, and just get the room set up for easy use again. I probably won't finish the kitchen today, but I should be able to get through most of it.
The "custom" seats for the boat arrived today. These sit higher than the "pro" seats, making for easier paddling on open water, where falling out of the boat isn't as much of a problem. I am very excited for the arrival of the kayak. Tomorrow, most likely. Hmm... when I am in town, I may... nah... I'll wait until the boat is in so I can plan out the anchor trolley and get everything I need for that all at once. Oh, I am also considering constructing a sun-shade for the boat. I won't be building that until next month, but it's one of my first customizations. Sure, I can use sun screen, but that doesn't do much about the heat. It'll only be a fair to light weather option, of course. Any cross wind and such things can become quite problematic. I'd like to make it adjustable... full, three-quarters, and half length adjustable, perhaps even with side flaps for certain situations... the rising or setting sun, or even light rain. It also needs to be able to be brought down on the fly. Cotter-less cotter pins, pvc piping, and cheap ripstop tarp will be my friend in that.
I've sure been enjoying this revivification. It's much easier to maintain with a dangerous government rattling it's saber through it's own mechanisms and it's bureaucratic arms. At this point, I am simply trying to figure out the fastest way to heal and scoot. I'm honestly not sure if there is enough time. But that will just have to take care of itself. If I do what I have been doing, and keep adding more as planned, even if the whole thing times out, I should be in enough of a good condition to jump the circuit, bridge the gap, push on through. It won't be fancy, it won't be easy, but it will be doable.
Later.
.
Yeah, I did set the alarm. And I did hear it. I fussed with it for a bit too. How often I hit the snooze, if I reset the alarm, that I can't tell you. Eventually the thing was shut off and precious, beautiful, sleep was again entertained. Yes, pushing will do that. From about 5:00 (give or take) until about exactly 13:28 (according to my alarm, which is about an half hour fast), I slept like a tired dog. Without worrying about schedule, just keeping on track, I am much freer to do what I can, when I can, without fighting myself along the way. So it works as it will, if I do.
I am more sore than stiff as I wake. I fed the girls first thing, since my hours are so off. Cats, at least in my estimation, unlike dogs, don't need as regular of feeding. However, they do need and want food within certain boundaries. If they get too hungry, my girls will riot. Cat bras burning, doors being pounded, and little angry feet pounding through the joint tells me it's time... should I forget.
While I have the bathroom and niche cleared and swept, there was a good deal of dust from when I rolled up, and shook again, the niche rug. It's a big one. Anyway, I was too busy and tired to mess with the second little mess last night, but swept that area this morning. Nothing like grit underfoot to make even an old bear fussy. I surveyed the damage. It looks like I am getting well ahead in my plans and goals. I'm getting there, not going to worry about sleeping when I need it.
I need to do some shopping first. Cream for coffee, milk, that's about it. But that is essential, as I see things. I'll go shopping later this evening. I missed taking my bedtime meds, so took those when I woke. I'll take my morning pills in a couple of hours to reset that schedule. Yeah, I've been doing pretty good with medicines, all in all. I'd love to go hiking, I just don't think I can today. I might be able to hit the iron this evening though. I don't expect me to actually be perfect in my goals, ever. The plan is just that. So long as I hit several of the areas, keeping moving forward, and do what I reasonably can (and then some), I'm good with how things happen. Even if I should get right on top of things, as I fantasize, I will always miss this or that, over-schedule and screw up timing, and just plain miss from time to time. That is life.
Today will see the floors mopped. When those dry, I'll put the rug back and vacuum it on top of what it has already gotten. Then I start in on the kitchen. A lot of stuff will simply start being tossed. If it isn't being used, hasn't been used in a long while, or I just don't have a place for it, it'll get tossed. The idea is to clear and clean everything visible, put away what can go away, and then sweep and mop, clean the counters, and just get the room set up for easy use again. I probably won't finish the kitchen today, but I should be able to get through most of it.
The "custom" seats for the boat arrived today. These sit higher than the "pro" seats, making for easier paddling on open water, where falling out of the boat isn't as much of a problem. I am very excited for the arrival of the kayak. Tomorrow, most likely. Hmm... when I am in town, I may... nah... I'll wait until the boat is in so I can plan out the anchor trolley and get everything I need for that all at once. Oh, I am also considering constructing a sun-shade for the boat. I won't be building that until next month, but it's one of my first customizations. Sure, I can use sun screen, but that doesn't do much about the heat. It'll only be a fair to light weather option, of course. Any cross wind and such things can become quite problematic. I'd like to make it adjustable... full, three-quarters, and half length adjustable, perhaps even with side flaps for certain situations... the rising or setting sun, or even light rain. It also needs to be able to be brought down on the fly. Cotter-less cotter pins, pvc piping, and cheap ripstop tarp will be my friend in that.
I've sure been enjoying this revivification. It's much easier to maintain with a dangerous government rattling it's saber through it's own mechanisms and it's bureaucratic arms. At this point, I am simply trying to figure out the fastest way to heal and scoot. I'm honestly not sure if there is enough time. But that will just have to take care of itself. If I do what I have been doing, and keep adding more as planned, even if the whole thing times out, I should be in enough of a good condition to jump the circuit, bridge the gap, push on through. It won't be fancy, it won't be easy, but it will be doable.
Later.
Nap time?
.
.
I have been doing bits of work between times of resting. I haven't fit reading in, but that's on the list. I did find the manual, and quick-start reference, for the gps device I am probably going to buy. I want to price check locally. Sometimes it is cheaper, sometimes not. For bigger ticket items, it really can pay to compare. Plus, local can be easier for returns.
The bathroom is cleared, swept, and ready to mop. I sorted the cat litter, changing some of it out. I took the trash out, in part because of the litter, but also fit in the packing material that needed to go. While I was at it, I brought the trash bin back to the back door area. I need to sweep in the kitchen niche, dumping bits of fly-away litter first, and then vacuum that carpet. I put the one load into the laundry as well. Little bits and pieces of this and that. Hmm, perhaps I will break down the boxes and put those in the recycling bin outside, dump and sweep and vacuum, then take a nap. I will set the alarm, I can't nap too long.
I should be in shape to finish the bathroom when I am done, and kick the laundry over to the dryer, then prepare to head into town. Ugh, a shower means I will need to drain the dishes. Yeah, using the big bin to wash them in. Oh well. They should be ready for a simple rinse. They have been washed twice already.
In my off time, I have been looking over trolling motors for the boat. I won't, probably, be buying one this year. It's not just a motor you buy, it's probably a battery and charger as well. A thirty pound thrust is all my craft can really use, so I have heard. And the motor needs to be 15 pounds or less, if I read that right. A deep cycle marine battery is what is best to use, though lead-acid or ADM is another thing. Gel just seems a little less, and a little more finicky. Size is also a consideration. If I wanted a fish finder/depth finder, a bit more battery would be really handy. And, yes, in time, I would like that. None of it fancy, just functional and long lasting, but of reasonable cost. It doesn't seem as if an electric trolling motor would be of much use on an extended outing though. So I will really have to consider whether to buy any of that. Unless I could figure out how to recharge it even right on the water, or at a base camp. Doubtful. Then again, not a bad thing for day tours and short fishing runs.
Yeah, I'm going to do those last little things, then nap. It's the only way I will make it out to the store, perhaps a hike, and maybe to the various sporting goods stores. Later.
.
I have been doing bits of work between times of resting. I haven't fit reading in, but that's on the list. I did find the manual, and quick-start reference, for the gps device I am probably going to buy. I want to price check locally. Sometimes it is cheaper, sometimes not. For bigger ticket items, it really can pay to compare. Plus, local can be easier for returns.
The bathroom is cleared, swept, and ready to mop. I sorted the cat litter, changing some of it out. I took the trash out, in part because of the litter, but also fit in the packing material that needed to go. While I was at it, I brought the trash bin back to the back door area. I need to sweep in the kitchen niche, dumping bits of fly-away litter first, and then vacuum that carpet. I put the one load into the laundry as well. Little bits and pieces of this and that. Hmm, perhaps I will break down the boxes and put those in the recycling bin outside, dump and sweep and vacuum, then take a nap. I will set the alarm, I can't nap too long.
I should be in shape to finish the bathroom when I am done, and kick the laundry over to the dryer, then prepare to head into town. Ugh, a shower means I will need to drain the dishes. Yeah, using the big bin to wash them in. Oh well. They should be ready for a simple rinse. They have been washed twice already.
In my off time, I have been looking over trolling motors for the boat. I won't, probably, be buying one this year. It's not just a motor you buy, it's probably a battery and charger as well. A thirty pound thrust is all my craft can really use, so I have heard. And the motor needs to be 15 pounds or less, if I read that right. A deep cycle marine battery is what is best to use, though lead-acid or ADM is another thing. Gel just seems a little less, and a little more finicky. Size is also a consideration. If I wanted a fish finder/depth finder, a bit more battery would be really handy. And, yes, in time, I would like that. None of it fancy, just functional and long lasting, but of reasonable cost. It doesn't seem as if an electric trolling motor would be of much use on an extended outing though. So I will really have to consider whether to buy any of that. Unless I could figure out how to recharge it even right on the water, or at a base camp. Doubtful. Then again, not a bad thing for day tours and short fishing runs.
Yeah, I'm going to do those last little things, then nap. It's the only way I will make it out to the store, perhaps a hike, and maybe to the various sporting goods stores. Later.
Yes, I did start in.
.
.
I'm not in a rush, and yet I don't want to stall too long. Getting to work is good. But so is being awake and ready. I am still a bit sore, stiff, but not tired or weak. I removed everything from the bathroom floor. A small step-stool chair I keep in there for various reasons, the dust bin, plus the plunger and stool brush and their containers. And, of course, dirty clothes have to be moved. I spilled water from the bucket I had used for washing the weight bench, so I dried that but wanted to give it a bit more time to really dry. Sweeping even a damp floor is a pain.
Not wanting to call it for the work period, I headed into the kitchen, turned on the light for the niche that I mean to clean as well tonight, and took a look at what I am facing there. It's not too bad. Some boxes and packing material to sort and toss, sweeping and vacuuming will have to take place. Plus I could probably put in fresh cat litter in at least two of the boxes. They usually keep one pretty clean, especially if I do my part. Which I have been doing. That shouldn't be too much of a problem, along with the bathroom. If I can keep that area up, when I steam vac the living room, I'll hit the rug in there too.
I also set the dishes up in a fresh soapy soak, and two big pans that need to be washed. After this post, but before officially going back to work, I will start a, or the, load of laundry. I don't have enough woolen, whites, or other for a load, but I do have enough colored cotton clothes to push that on through. That should have my wardrobe pretty much topped off. If I can stay on top of things, I can probably get by with one or two small loads a week. I mean to keep on top of things as I get on top of them.
Brushing my teeth regularly, flossing when I have that down... at least at night, three showers/baths a week unless I sweat too much for this or that, keeping finger and toe nails trimmed, and checking and managing small wounds as they happen, are among personal care items I will be tending much more seriously. It's not that I have been incautious, but I have, until now, been able to slide on some things. If I plan to get out, and for teeth quite tobacco, I really have to have my ducks in a row on personal care and hygiene. It's just not a debate. I have been doing pretty good. Oh, and speaking of tobacco, I have about three months before my supply is gone. I will want to store up a good month and an half of 21mg, and about the same for 14mg patches. I'll probably only use a month of each. The lower patches have not been necessary in the past, so I skip those. Better to have a bit too much than too little.
It's a long row to hoe, but I don't see options. There will be failures. I will still fall. But if I can get up, and keep up, mostly on call, much of the time, I will handle problems as they arise. For tonight, cleaning. The hope is, as well, to make it to town tomorrow morning for shopping and hiking. Whether I can get a nap in is another thing. I'll have to hurry a bit if I want that, if I can even take a nap. Ugh.
The boat and seats should be in by midweek. I left the tarp in the back, so as to put the pack in on that, and used it to set up the boat out there, rather than on rocks, mud, dirt and all, especially when it is wet. Hmm, might put in a couple of old towels to dry it off, make those part of the kit. While I am in town tomorrow, I may look for a couple of types of anchors and rope. There are three types of anchors, the standard type though one that opens and closes for various uses would be good, a shallow stick type, and a watersock sort... like a windsock, but for water... to slow drift. The first two I know I want, the other only if I begin fishing more often. I'd like to buy some tackle to gear an anchor trolley, but I want to see the boat fully set up to get a better idea of what I want for that. One, two, or ten things at a time, but there is always more.
Later.
.
I'm not in a rush, and yet I don't want to stall too long. Getting to work is good. But so is being awake and ready. I am still a bit sore, stiff, but not tired or weak. I removed everything from the bathroom floor. A small step-stool chair I keep in there for various reasons, the dust bin, plus the plunger and stool brush and their containers. And, of course, dirty clothes have to be moved. I spilled water from the bucket I had used for washing the weight bench, so I dried that but wanted to give it a bit more time to really dry. Sweeping even a damp floor is a pain.
Not wanting to call it for the work period, I headed into the kitchen, turned on the light for the niche that I mean to clean as well tonight, and took a look at what I am facing there. It's not too bad. Some boxes and packing material to sort and toss, sweeping and vacuuming will have to take place. Plus I could probably put in fresh cat litter in at least two of the boxes. They usually keep one pretty clean, especially if I do my part. Which I have been doing. That shouldn't be too much of a problem, along with the bathroom. If I can keep that area up, when I steam vac the living room, I'll hit the rug in there too.
I also set the dishes up in a fresh soapy soak, and two big pans that need to be washed. After this post, but before officially going back to work, I will start a, or the, load of laundry. I don't have enough woolen, whites, or other for a load, but I do have enough colored cotton clothes to push that on through. That should have my wardrobe pretty much topped off. If I can stay on top of things, I can probably get by with one or two small loads a week. I mean to keep on top of things as I get on top of them.
Brushing my teeth regularly, flossing when I have that down... at least at night, three showers/baths a week unless I sweat too much for this or that, keeping finger and toe nails trimmed, and checking and managing small wounds as they happen, are among personal care items I will be tending much more seriously. It's not that I have been incautious, but I have, until now, been able to slide on some things. If I plan to get out, and for teeth quite tobacco, I really have to have my ducks in a row on personal care and hygiene. It's just not a debate. I have been doing pretty good. Oh, and speaking of tobacco, I have about three months before my supply is gone. I will want to store up a good month and an half of 21mg, and about the same for 14mg patches. I'll probably only use a month of each. The lower patches have not been necessary in the past, so I skip those. Better to have a bit too much than too little.
It's a long row to hoe, but I don't see options. There will be failures. I will still fall. But if I can get up, and keep up, mostly on call, much of the time, I will handle problems as they arise. For tonight, cleaning. The hope is, as well, to make it to town tomorrow morning for shopping and hiking. Whether I can get a nap in is another thing. I'll have to hurry a bit if I want that, if I can even take a nap. Ugh.
The boat and seats should be in by midweek. I left the tarp in the back, so as to put the pack in on that, and used it to set up the boat out there, rather than on rocks, mud, dirt and all, especially when it is wet. Hmm, might put in a couple of old towels to dry it off, make those part of the kit. While I am in town tomorrow, I may look for a couple of types of anchors and rope. There are three types of anchors, the standard type though one that opens and closes for various uses would be good, a shallow stick type, and a watersock sort... like a windsock, but for water... to slow drift. The first two I know I want, the other only if I begin fishing more often. I'd like to buy some tackle to gear an anchor trolley, but I want to see the boat fully set up to get a better idea of what I want for that. One, two, or ten things at a time, but there is always more.
Later.
Monday, May 4, 2015
So many things to learn.
.
.
It isn't, as I have mentioned, going to be just about getting my butt out of the chair. Beside ignoring my heart failure, and eating the right foods to manage diabetes, and then getting in shape. There is much to learn. With the boat coming any day now, and with hiking sort of limited until I can have some idea where I am, I am considering a gps device. I don't know about these new ones, but I did purchase one some time back. It was a pain in the ass. I never did learn to use it well. Eventually it got put up somewhere. I might even find it as I begin digging through things. Nah, even if it works, it wasn't good enough for land and water. So, I'm looking at a new one. As I review how to use it, I don't think it is going to be any easier to learn to use. Still, I have to, at this point.
Learning to use a map, a compass, and other tools and equipment for orienteering will be going forward. Until that is dependable, though, and even beyond, a gps is simply a necessary tool. They aren't completely dependable themselves, but... will be better than nothing in a pinch. I can't just let these things slide now. I have to learn, I have to push through, I have to read, practice, even call the manufacturer if I get stumped. One of many things I simply have to do if I wish to get going correctly.
Which reminds me, I need to start reading the printed study book to begin getting ready for the first ham license test. I guess, beyond being back in bootcamp, I'm back in school. Some of what I must learn will have not tests or quizzes. I will either succeed or fail, and failure in this case could be quite inconvenient, perhaps even lethal. Now that's MY kind of learning. Cheat on that, will ya. Boating, hiking, camping, fishing, gps, orienteering, ham radio and licensing, and a dozen other things as they come to pass. All while pushing my body until it breaks, then picking up and doing that over and again. I don't know about you, but I am excited. And that is just the start. That is just to get me back to functioning well enough that I can tag along on hunts, learn to gut, skin, and butcher an animal, then help pack it out, and other heavier things. Yeah... I'll get there, or die trying.
It's amazing what the threat of bureaucracy and women can do to a man. *grins* Run, run away fast! The one I escaped, the other is too worldly so I know I don't have to worry about her. I think I'm free, I'll make it out. Not bad, but I best get to it. Instead of blogging or watching shows, I'll begin reading the ham materials, and maybe pull down the instruction booklet for the gps and read that in with the other. No, or not much time, for play and pleasure. Bootcamp, is it? Yeah. In over my head, but that is how it is, most people just don't realize it. Later.
.
It isn't, as I have mentioned, going to be just about getting my butt out of the chair. Beside ignoring my heart failure, and eating the right foods to manage diabetes, and then getting in shape. There is much to learn. With the boat coming any day now, and with hiking sort of limited until I can have some idea where I am, I am considering a gps device. I don't know about these new ones, but I did purchase one some time back. It was a pain in the ass. I never did learn to use it well. Eventually it got put up somewhere. I might even find it as I begin digging through things. Nah, even if it works, it wasn't good enough for land and water. So, I'm looking at a new one. As I review how to use it, I don't think it is going to be any easier to learn to use. Still, I have to, at this point.
Learning to use a map, a compass, and other tools and equipment for orienteering will be going forward. Until that is dependable, though, and even beyond, a gps is simply a necessary tool. They aren't completely dependable themselves, but... will be better than nothing in a pinch. I can't just let these things slide now. I have to learn, I have to push through, I have to read, practice, even call the manufacturer if I get stumped. One of many things I simply have to do if I wish to get going correctly.
Which reminds me, I need to start reading the printed study book to begin getting ready for the first ham license test. I guess, beyond being back in bootcamp, I'm back in school. Some of what I must learn will have not tests or quizzes. I will either succeed or fail, and failure in this case could be quite inconvenient, perhaps even lethal. Now that's MY kind of learning. Cheat on that, will ya. Boating, hiking, camping, fishing, gps, orienteering, ham radio and licensing, and a dozen other things as they come to pass. All while pushing my body until it breaks, then picking up and doing that over and again. I don't know about you, but I am excited. And that is just the start. That is just to get me back to functioning well enough that I can tag along on hunts, learn to gut, skin, and butcher an animal, then help pack it out, and other heavier things. Yeah... I'll get there, or die trying.
It's amazing what the threat of bureaucracy and women can do to a man. *grins* Run, run away fast! The one I escaped, the other is too worldly so I know I don't have to worry about her. I think I'm free, I'll make it out. Not bad, but I best get to it. Instead of blogging or watching shows, I'll begin reading the ham materials, and maybe pull down the instruction booklet for the gps and read that in with the other. No, or not much time, for play and pleasure. Bootcamp, is it? Yeah. In over my head, but that is how it is, most people just don't realize it. Later.
Yeah, okay.
.
.
Given a few days of work and rest, and some distance... and a lot of thought... I can now put out why I returned. Sure, there was the notion that I was more read than I had hoped. That was a bit unnerving. What if you kept a rather true diary, and wrote in it without... parsing, without making it edible for the masses... and then you found out many had read it, or parts of it? So, yeah, there was that. And more, specifically who had read. And, not knowing what parts they read. I've pretty much put the whole thing out here. Here, there, it's all in there. Some of it is coded, hidden in there, but decipherable as a whole, mostly. But that wasn't the big one.
I have been celibate for over a decade now. That isn't meant to be a life long thing, only a method of choosing a right wife, or moving on without one... living more rightly as I see it. Unlike many men my age, the vow is not a light or easy one. I could easily have sex twice a day, even as is. Sometimes more often. The urges are there. The thing is, as I have come to some minor (very minor, forgive me Lord) master of this vow, I have learned to let most women pass without so much as a notion of interest. Oh, sure, flirtation. Trust me, the way I do it, that isn't sexual... mostly. Just, hmm... more like a way to more properly shake a woman's hand, the right form of it.
I thought I was good. I thought I was solid. I thought I could reject without thought or effort. For the most part that is true. Oh, there is a local woman who gives me the willies, tests my notions, and makes me sweat and pray. True. But she is a good woman. If she happens to be interested, she won't act on it until a ring is on her finger... mostly, probably. More so with my own willfulness toward that end capping the ideal. But, there, I met one of those very rare women who excites me.
Now, this is fine. I truly enjoy meeting those rare women. It's like a city human seeing their first eagle, or spotting a rare car for automobilephiles, or such. The grant of a minor wish, the joy of knowing one has passion yet, and some other things. The problem was, I saw in her eyes that she saw into mine. She seemed to know much, too much, but that didn't seem to be a problem. She was, or seemed to me, open. Whether she was or not, I failed horribly. If I had stayed, I would have... tested. And I don't think she would have said no. Either way, I failed, hard. Crap sandwiches and fast moving meteorites, I had to lift and scoot.
So... there you go. I guess it is safe to say. It shouldn't cause any harm. It's... well... It is what it is. Now I'll move my music up to be more easily found along with this post. I hid it back in time, until, or unless, I was ready to let it be heard. Yeah... Kryptonite, boys and girls. Doom found out he is still... hungry. Too hungry. Gotta be so everloving careful. On the good side... it wasn't just a piece of ass that called. I can be cynical when safe, but when that close to certain women... I know it's more. Damnations! Reminds me of what I don't have too well.
.
Given a few days of work and rest, and some distance... and a lot of thought... I can now put out why I returned. Sure, there was the notion that I was more read than I had hoped. That was a bit unnerving. What if you kept a rather true diary, and wrote in it without... parsing, without making it edible for the masses... and then you found out many had read it, or parts of it? So, yeah, there was that. And more, specifically who had read. And, not knowing what parts they read. I've pretty much put the whole thing out here. Here, there, it's all in there. Some of it is coded, hidden in there, but decipherable as a whole, mostly. But that wasn't the big one.
I have been celibate for over a decade now. That isn't meant to be a life long thing, only a method of choosing a right wife, or moving on without one... living more rightly as I see it. Unlike many men my age, the vow is not a light or easy one. I could easily have sex twice a day, even as is. Sometimes more often. The urges are there. The thing is, as I have come to some minor (very minor, forgive me Lord) master of this vow, I have learned to let most women pass without so much as a notion of interest. Oh, sure, flirtation. Trust me, the way I do it, that isn't sexual... mostly. Just, hmm... more like a way to more properly shake a woman's hand, the right form of it.
I thought I was good. I thought I was solid. I thought I could reject without thought or effort. For the most part that is true. Oh, there is a local woman who gives me the willies, tests my notions, and makes me sweat and pray. True. But she is a good woman. If she happens to be interested, she won't act on it until a ring is on her finger... mostly, probably. More so with my own willfulness toward that end capping the ideal. But, there, I met one of those very rare women who excites me.
Now, this is fine. I truly enjoy meeting those rare women. It's like a city human seeing their first eagle, or spotting a rare car for automobilephiles, or such. The grant of a minor wish, the joy of knowing one has passion yet, and some other things. The problem was, I saw in her eyes that she saw into mine. She seemed to know much, too much, but that didn't seem to be a problem. She was, or seemed to me, open. Whether she was or not, I failed horribly. If I had stayed, I would have... tested. And I don't think she would have said no. Either way, I failed, hard. Crap sandwiches and fast moving meteorites, I had to lift and scoot.
So... there you go. I guess it is safe to say. It shouldn't cause any harm. It's... well... It is what it is. Now I'll move my music up to be more easily found along with this post. I hid it back in time, until, or unless, I was ready to let it be heard. Yeah... Kryptonite, boys and girls. Doom found out he is still... hungry. Too hungry. Gotta be so everloving careful. On the good side... it wasn't just a piece of ass that called. I can be cynical when safe, but when that close to certain women... I know it's more. Damnations! Reminds me of what I don't have too well.
Don't try to understand.
.
.
You can't, you don't. Just... go with the flow. It's just not about you. Not even sure if it is about me, feelings, sure. It just is. That's all.
.
You can't, you don't. Just... go with the flow. It's just not about you. Not even sure if it is about me, feelings, sure. It just is. That's all.
A good sleep, hopefully a good day.
.
.
I can't, exactly, remember when I went down. I was up until after 9:00, well after. Plus I tossed and turned. I've been stretching and that just winds things, and maybe wounds things. But this is my life from now on. Make it or break it is the method. I woke right around 18:00, so, if I had to guess, right at about eight hours of sleep. No alarm. I don't feel I should push on every area at once. I will sleep until I wake, and stay awake until I run out of... whatever, then can wind down. At least I will do that until I am ready to try to bracket that aspect of life too.
Too late to go hiking. It's growing dark, plus it was cloudy. I will hike through rain and shine, I do have the gear for that, several times over and various forms, for colder and warmer situations. The only problem with it being cloudy in the afternoon is that it gets too dark too quickly. Eventually I probably will find places to do night hikes. It's cooler. The thing is that I need to find trails, or places, that allow for a night hike. Many official trails roll up their invitation at sundown. Instead of hiking, I am going to clean. I have cut out my goals for tonight. The bathroom and the "sewing niche" off the kitchen. Everything out, reorganize the floor-space, clean, and reassembly of each area is the plan. I am hoping to do it fast enough to get a nap in later, in hopes of being up long enough into tomorrow to go hiking early. There is a chance that, if I go hiking early, then sleep, I can keep on my target and, when I wake, hit the "iron" again. Then more housecleaning.
Tomorrow, aside from the hopes of exercise, I am hoping to strip clean the kitchen, or at least start on it. It sort of depends on how well I am able to clear and clean the two target areas tonight. I never really know how long things take. But that is the plan from this side of the thing. If I can keep it going, then I will hit the living room after the kitchen. A nearly complete strip, clean, vacuum, and steam vac of the living room. Plus another hike. Every other day, hiking or weight lifting. Though I might try to do both on Fridays, to get Saturdays off. Saturdays may become my cooking day. Cooking a couple of foods for the week. Bean and ham soup, and maybe grill enough chicken and other meat to get me through. Oh, and I will begin boiling eggs for easy food and solid protein and fat. I simply won't be able to keep up on all things at all times, so some sort of plan needs to be in place.
Yeah, I know. Plans are great until you can't walk, sit up, or think straight. Then you gotta do what you gotta do. If I have to take downtime, so be it. The goal is to get back up when I can. Hmm... I've been thinking about rafting. I am going to call that an equivalent to upper body workouts, so I won't expect myself to lift weights when I do that. A place where I portage a good deal will take care of hiking. All good. It is a plan, a good one. I've got to do it if I plan on doing anything else. I would like to add pushups and setups, but I am going to wait on those until I can bench my body weight. A couple dozen of each, first thing in the morning, will eventually just be part of the program.
It's going to hurt. If past experience is any measure, I will actually gain a lot of weight, at least for the foreseeable future. My body takes on a lot of muscle, fast, before it ever starts letting go of fat. For me, even when I could do a serious six month program, I never did see myself to weight loss. Although, there are some things that will be different this time. We'll see. I just don't count on weight loss up front, and not for a long time. If too, I don't really care about that so long as I am functionally strong and have some more serious stamina. Those are the key points. Later.
.
I can't, exactly, remember when I went down. I was up until after 9:00, well after. Plus I tossed and turned. I've been stretching and that just winds things, and maybe wounds things. But this is my life from now on. Make it or break it is the method. I woke right around 18:00, so, if I had to guess, right at about eight hours of sleep. No alarm. I don't feel I should push on every area at once. I will sleep until I wake, and stay awake until I run out of... whatever, then can wind down. At least I will do that until I am ready to try to bracket that aspect of life too.
Too late to go hiking. It's growing dark, plus it was cloudy. I will hike through rain and shine, I do have the gear for that, several times over and various forms, for colder and warmer situations. The only problem with it being cloudy in the afternoon is that it gets too dark too quickly. Eventually I probably will find places to do night hikes. It's cooler. The thing is that I need to find trails, or places, that allow for a night hike. Many official trails roll up their invitation at sundown. Instead of hiking, I am going to clean. I have cut out my goals for tonight. The bathroom and the "sewing niche" off the kitchen. Everything out, reorganize the floor-space, clean, and reassembly of each area is the plan. I am hoping to do it fast enough to get a nap in later, in hopes of being up long enough into tomorrow to go hiking early. There is a chance that, if I go hiking early, then sleep, I can keep on my target and, when I wake, hit the "iron" again. Then more housecleaning.
Tomorrow, aside from the hopes of exercise, I am hoping to strip clean the kitchen, or at least start on it. It sort of depends on how well I am able to clear and clean the two target areas tonight. I never really know how long things take. But that is the plan from this side of the thing. If I can keep it going, then I will hit the living room after the kitchen. A nearly complete strip, clean, vacuum, and steam vac of the living room. Plus another hike. Every other day, hiking or weight lifting. Though I might try to do both on Fridays, to get Saturdays off. Saturdays may become my cooking day. Cooking a couple of foods for the week. Bean and ham soup, and maybe grill enough chicken and other meat to get me through. Oh, and I will begin boiling eggs for easy food and solid protein and fat. I simply won't be able to keep up on all things at all times, so some sort of plan needs to be in place.
Yeah, I know. Plans are great until you can't walk, sit up, or think straight. Then you gotta do what you gotta do. If I have to take downtime, so be it. The goal is to get back up when I can. Hmm... I've been thinking about rafting. I am going to call that an equivalent to upper body workouts, so I won't expect myself to lift weights when I do that. A place where I portage a good deal will take care of hiking. All good. It is a plan, a good one. I've got to do it if I plan on doing anything else. I would like to add pushups and setups, but I am going to wait on those until I can bench my body weight. A couple dozen of each, first thing in the morning, will eventually just be part of the program.
It's going to hurt. If past experience is any measure, I will actually gain a lot of weight, at least for the foreseeable future. My body takes on a lot of muscle, fast, before it ever starts letting go of fat. For me, even when I could do a serious six month program, I never did see myself to weight loss. Although, there are some things that will be different this time. We'll see. I just don't count on weight loss up front, and not for a long time. If too, I don't really care about that so long as I am functionally strong and have some more serious stamina. Those are the key points. Later.
Can't sleep.
.
.
I had hoped to rest in order to be out hiking today. I tried at 7:00 or so. Then I remembered that I needed to take the trash out. I got that out and went back to bed. Ah, but there was more to be taken out, I remembered. After the last bit I simply stayed awake. It's not that I can't hike later, it's just that I am not exactly sure where to hike later in the day. I really don't want to hike at night, not quite yet. If, probably when, I wake too late, I supposed I could just do housework. I don't want to just sit idle on any given day. If I can't follow the plan, perhaps I can fulfill the goal in another way? We'll see.
I am tired. I just can't sleep. It isn't even as if I just sat around. As for the mind, a large part of the reason I blog is to get rid of things my mind chases. In the dark of the mind, an overloaded thought process, and some strange thinking, can make sleep impossible. I've stomped most fires out, by writing here. Not sure what the problem is. Perhaps working out opened something that will just take time to close? Maybe.
I'll go try again. I have the fan on because it is simply too warm otherwise. Plus, the fan blocks out noise. It does make noise, but the sound it makes is regular... very easy for me to sleep to, as if a sort of music. Ugh... Good night again. Yeah, I'll just have to use my waking time when I get it, as I can. I would like to get to the store soon, though. Maybe even yet today. I don't need the sun for that. Good night... I hope.
.
I had hoped to rest in order to be out hiking today. I tried at 7:00 or so. Then I remembered that I needed to take the trash out. I got that out and went back to bed. Ah, but there was more to be taken out, I remembered. After the last bit I simply stayed awake. It's not that I can't hike later, it's just that I am not exactly sure where to hike later in the day. I really don't want to hike at night, not quite yet. If, probably when, I wake too late, I supposed I could just do housework. I don't want to just sit idle on any given day. If I can't follow the plan, perhaps I can fulfill the goal in another way? We'll see.
I am tired. I just can't sleep. It isn't even as if I just sat around. As for the mind, a large part of the reason I blog is to get rid of things my mind chases. In the dark of the mind, an overloaded thought process, and some strange thinking, can make sleep impossible. I've stomped most fires out, by writing here. Not sure what the problem is. Perhaps working out opened something that will just take time to close? Maybe.
I'll go try again. I have the fan on because it is simply too warm otherwise. Plus, the fan blocks out noise. It does make noise, but the sound it makes is regular... very easy for me to sleep to, as if a sort of music. Ugh... Good night again. Yeah, I'll just have to use my waking time when I get it, as I can. I would like to get to the store soon, though. Maybe even yet today. I don't need the sun for that. Good night... I hope.
A cool down, then a shower.
.
.
Okay, then some air dry time. Love air drying. Hey, it's an ogre thing.
I unpacked. I put the tent, fly, sleeping pad, and sleeping bag out to freshen. I dried the big cooler out. It was pretty much dry and ready, other than a spit of rain that came through several hours ago. I sorted the dirty laundry, which was bagged so the other clothes are still good. Then put up soap, shampoo, and such. I did a number of other little things, as promised, including collecting all of my dirty clothes for washing tomorrow. Pretty much everything on the list except sorting and hanging/folding the clean clothes.
Then, yes, I went out and set up the weight bench and bars. I had to move things around a bit, wash off the benchtop, and arrange the bars, the dumbbells were in here, so I had to find them. Then I hit it. Nothing big. Just a half dozen empty bar routines. For now, I am hoping to lift every other day, and walk every other day, adding to maybe six days a week. Some days I may do double duty, to get a day off. Actually, the goal is to mix and match double duty with single duty days, depending on my schedule. An overnight hike, however, will mess things up a bit. I'll worry about that when I get to it.
And more, I won't let the workouts, hiking, and other such, ruin my life. The goal is to hit the house, clear and clean, sort what stays and goes, and organize it all. When I get a big enough pile of go stuff, I'll order in one of those on-site bins and dump. I doubt if that will just be a one-time thing though. I suppose I could try my hand at a yard sale. Depends on what I come up with. If there isn't enough, by my estimation, to bother with a sale, I'll just chunk it all. I need to do some inquiry regarding those things. Some of my furniture has to stay until I am ready to go. I could sit, and sleep, on the floors. I just don't think so. A lot of paring, and several tiers of it, ahead. The less I have, the easier it will be to keep my cave clean though. Definitely.
Hmm... music. Yeah. I've probably given the reasons for the recent mess away. Some of it, partially. Can't keep a secret, just like one of the song says. Still, should be vague enough. And I don't think it's explicit at all. Women, though... sometimes they see way too much. Better at that sort of thing. Nosy. :p Just... dames can be murder when they see right in, especially... never mind. Later... Good night, more like it. Hiking and shopping, perhaps a meal with my friend, tomorrow. But sleep, after a few things.
.
Okay, then some air dry time. Love air drying. Hey, it's an ogre thing.
I unpacked. I put the tent, fly, sleeping pad, and sleeping bag out to freshen. I dried the big cooler out. It was pretty much dry and ready, other than a spit of rain that came through several hours ago. I sorted the dirty laundry, which was bagged so the other clothes are still good. Then put up soap, shampoo, and such. I did a number of other little things, as promised, including collecting all of my dirty clothes for washing tomorrow. Pretty much everything on the list except sorting and hanging/folding the clean clothes.
Then, yes, I went out and set up the weight bench and bars. I had to move things around a bit, wash off the benchtop, and arrange the bars, the dumbbells were in here, so I had to find them. Then I hit it. Nothing big. Just a half dozen empty bar routines. For now, I am hoping to lift every other day, and walk every other day, adding to maybe six days a week. Some days I may do double duty, to get a day off. Actually, the goal is to mix and match double duty with single duty days, depending on my schedule. An overnight hike, however, will mess things up a bit. I'll worry about that when I get to it.
And more, I won't let the workouts, hiking, and other such, ruin my life. The goal is to hit the house, clear and clean, sort what stays and goes, and organize it all. When I get a big enough pile of go stuff, I'll order in one of those on-site bins and dump. I doubt if that will just be a one-time thing though. I suppose I could try my hand at a yard sale. Depends on what I come up with. If there isn't enough, by my estimation, to bother with a sale, I'll just chunk it all. I need to do some inquiry regarding those things. Some of my furniture has to stay until I am ready to go. I could sit, and sleep, on the floors. I just don't think so. A lot of paring, and several tiers of it, ahead. The less I have, the easier it will be to keep my cave clean though. Definitely.
Hmm... music. Yeah. I've probably given the reasons for the recent mess away. Some of it, partially. Can't keep a secret, just like one of the song says. Still, should be vague enough. And I don't think it's explicit at all. Women, though... sometimes they see way too much. Better at that sort of thing. Nosy. :p Just... dames can be murder when they see right in, especially... never mind. Later... Good night, more like it. Hiking and shopping, perhaps a meal with my friend, tomorrow. But sleep, after a few things.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Better. Much.
.
.
With some contemplation, I have figured out the reason for my flight. The whole reason. Yeah, there were other things involved. A bit of consideration and even I realized that wasn't the whole reason. Some of those things may have lead to the real reason. Some were born for fame or infamy, and to lead. Some reject that. Of those who reject leadership and all that comes with it are two types. The most common type are the followers. Fine. There can only be just so many chiefs. The other type refuses not just to lead, but also to follow. But the world doesn't like those last types. People are attracted to them like moths to a flame. Of those moths, some are... more, much more, of a threat to one who wishes to be alone, mostly, than others. Oh, but there is more. Much more. But that is much as I will say.
I believe I will finish unpacking tonight. Undoing the back pack, setting things out to air dry, finishing off the coolers, sorting and storing. If I still have juice, I will clean off the weight bench and begin lifting. Oh, not a lot. Actually just empty bars, and only about an half dozen exercises. Bench press, butterflies, military, declined and seated, or some such. Then on to bed, after a shower, to hit it tomorrow. Oh, and I'll go through my gear and have a pack ready. The pack is just for weight, though it has some minor essentials, including a meal, a dry and easily dried change of clothes, some minor gear for lighting a fire and such, if I won't use any of it, most likely, until I actually camp out. Even then I probably won't use much of it, not for an overnighter.
Yes, I told you, I am beginning. Waking. Not from want, as that will never work, but from need. Not to heal, either, but to escape. If this looks tough, imagine building a cabin, or tracking, hunting, taking, butchering, hauling, then storing a big animal. I have to compare and contrast this to that, then consider the potential time constraints, draw a line from one to the other, and chart my path. It'll be much better if I overdo, so long as I don't break (though if I break, if it is complete, that... is better than doing nothing and the options that come with it). Tick-tock, tick-tock- tick-tock... Gotta go!
Later.
.
With some contemplation, I have figured out the reason for my flight. The whole reason. Yeah, there were other things involved. A bit of consideration and even I realized that wasn't the whole reason. Some of those things may have lead to the real reason. Some were born for fame or infamy, and to lead. Some reject that. Of those who reject leadership and all that comes with it are two types. The most common type are the followers. Fine. There can only be just so many chiefs. The other type refuses not just to lead, but also to follow. But the world doesn't like those last types. People are attracted to them like moths to a flame. Of those moths, some are... more, much more, of a threat to one who wishes to be alone, mostly, than others. Oh, but there is more. Much more. But that is much as I will say.
I believe I will finish unpacking tonight. Undoing the back pack, setting things out to air dry, finishing off the coolers, sorting and storing. If I still have juice, I will clean off the weight bench and begin lifting. Oh, not a lot. Actually just empty bars, and only about an half dozen exercises. Bench press, butterflies, military, declined and seated, or some such. Then on to bed, after a shower, to hit it tomorrow. Oh, and I'll go through my gear and have a pack ready. The pack is just for weight, though it has some minor essentials, including a meal, a dry and easily dried change of clothes, some minor gear for lighting a fire and such, if I won't use any of it, most likely, until I actually camp out. Even then I probably won't use much of it, not for an overnighter.
Yes, I told you, I am beginning. Waking. Not from want, as that will never work, but from need. Not to heal, either, but to escape. If this looks tough, imagine building a cabin, or tracking, hunting, taking, butchering, hauling, then storing a big animal. I have to compare and contrast this to that, then consider the potential time constraints, draw a line from one to the other, and chart my path. It'll be much better if I overdo, so long as I don't break (though if I break, if it is complete, that... is better than doing nothing and the options that come with it). Tick-tock, tick-tock- tick-tock... Gotta go!
Later.
Good sleep, intense dreams.
.
.
My sleep has been just about perfect. Perhaps long by an hour off my eight hour general goal, but that is to be expected, at least by me. I am more surprised I am not hitting twelve or fourteen hour cycles, rather than the eight and an half to ten hour sleeps. Waking fresh and good, if still sore and stiff. Less poorly each day. Which means hiking may be on tomorrow, along with shopping. I want to check my pack first, though, tonight. I want to be healthy, back into trim, enough so that when the boat arrives, I can open it up, pump it up, and sort out how to gear it. I won't be taking her out until the extra seats arrive, at least. I still want to check what all is suggested for standard kit on a kayak/canoe. Probably an anchor and mudstick... another sort of anchor for shallow water, would be handy. I want to find my flotation vest, neoprene johns, and wet boots, if I don't absolutely need those to start. I don't know what else would be basically needed/wanted, from a ulitity/safety standpoint.
Dreams. Serious dreams. Not hard, not terrible. Warnings. I won't share these anymore. How serious I take them? Considering all, at this point, pretty seriously. Just for me. Several different themes. On the good side, I have already started taking the advice... before the dreams. One of the recent ones is complicated. It is, put in a general way, suggesting that I can have my cake and eat it too, but only if I learn to tip toe on a highwire, while juggling... and juggling around my legs as I tip toe along the windswept line... at night. Oh, I know that sounds impossible. Trust me, for me? It's not. It just means I have to pay a little closer attention. Doubt as you wish. While I, and none, can live like that successfully... I can definitely learn to focus like an old god, before they knew what they really were anyway, for a short while. The only question is will I, if I think I should go through the trouble, and whether it might not work anyway. The last of those is irrelevant to my purposes, only something for others to contemplate. Of course, that is what makes viewing such acts enjoyable... to some. So, I must decide, for myself, if I should. Then get to it. Actually, I will begin prepping for that anyway, the real question is if I should include another, personally, in the show or not. You all are at a great, impossible, distance. This one would not be. And seeing, far more than reading, is believing.
Ah... today? Hmm... I believe the last of the unpacking, a bit of laundry, and dishes. I may also begin tearing into the cave. Sorting, storing, tossing, straightening. Beside hiking, gearing the kayak, taking my friend shooting, I am hoping to have the living room broken down, vacuumed, and steam vacuumed by the end of the week. The end of next week, at the latest, if I hit some walls. No, boys and girls, there is no rest for the wicked. And I am a very bad boy. According to the world. And in truth, if not the false truth of the world. Penance and Christ, work and prayer, I will find my way to wisdom and salvation. It starts, often, with the simple, the humble, the mundane... if in my case right over my own nearly dead body. Lets see if, as a healers, I can indeed, like my strongest brother, heal myself.
Coffee should be ready. Coffee!!! Later.
.
My sleep has been just about perfect. Perhaps long by an hour off my eight hour general goal, but that is to be expected, at least by me. I am more surprised I am not hitting twelve or fourteen hour cycles, rather than the eight and an half to ten hour sleeps. Waking fresh and good, if still sore and stiff. Less poorly each day. Which means hiking may be on tomorrow, along with shopping. I want to check my pack first, though, tonight. I want to be healthy, back into trim, enough so that when the boat arrives, I can open it up, pump it up, and sort out how to gear it. I won't be taking her out until the extra seats arrive, at least. I still want to check what all is suggested for standard kit on a kayak/canoe. Probably an anchor and mudstick... another sort of anchor for shallow water, would be handy. I want to find my flotation vest, neoprene johns, and wet boots, if I don't absolutely need those to start. I don't know what else would be basically needed/wanted, from a ulitity/safety standpoint.
Dreams. Serious dreams. Not hard, not terrible. Warnings. I won't share these anymore. How serious I take them? Considering all, at this point, pretty seriously. Just for me. Several different themes. On the good side, I have already started taking the advice... before the dreams. One of the recent ones is complicated. It is, put in a general way, suggesting that I can have my cake and eat it too, but only if I learn to tip toe on a highwire, while juggling... and juggling around my legs as I tip toe along the windswept line... at night. Oh, I know that sounds impossible. Trust me, for me? It's not. It just means I have to pay a little closer attention. Doubt as you wish. While I, and none, can live like that successfully... I can definitely learn to focus like an old god, before they knew what they really were anyway, for a short while. The only question is will I, if I think I should go through the trouble, and whether it might not work anyway. The last of those is irrelevant to my purposes, only something for others to contemplate. Of course, that is what makes viewing such acts enjoyable... to some. So, I must decide, for myself, if I should. Then get to it. Actually, I will begin prepping for that anyway, the real question is if I should include another, personally, in the show or not. You all are at a great, impossible, distance. This one would not be. And seeing, far more than reading, is believing.
Ah... today? Hmm... I believe the last of the unpacking, a bit of laundry, and dishes. I may also begin tearing into the cave. Sorting, storing, tossing, straightening. Beside hiking, gearing the kayak, taking my friend shooting, I am hoping to have the living room broken down, vacuumed, and steam vacuumed by the end of the week. The end of next week, at the latest, if I hit some walls. No, boys and girls, there is no rest for the wicked. And I am a very bad boy. According to the world. And in truth, if not the false truth of the world. Penance and Christ, work and prayer, I will find my way to wisdom and salvation. It starts, often, with the simple, the humble, the mundane... if in my case right over my own nearly dead body. Lets see if, as a healers, I can indeed, like my strongest brother, heal myself.
Coffee should be ready. Coffee!!! Later.
A dog?
.
.
Well, maybe. Not right away. Though it wouldn't be a bad thing, in the mid to long term. More so if moving is in the plans. Here, a german shepherd would be preferred. If Alaska is the way, then perhaps a breed that can handle the climate, and... some other things. A saint bernard, black russian terrier, or such might be the way to go. No dog, or even pack of dogs, would be all that good against a bear or even wolves or an angry moose. But they would be an assist in a bad situation, of many sorts. Even the most weather able dog would need protection, and have limits, up there. Heck, even right here. Dog boots in some of the colder times, if you go out hiking or hunting, might well be necessary. Feeding them would be quite a chore though.
A bigger dog would have to be trained well, and early. While I have a hundred pounds on the biggest of st. bernards, most people don't. And I wouldn't want to have to do that at 70 miles an hour. No, train them young, be the master, or don't mess with such animals. I am sure there are other breeds that might work well. It depends more on what my real want of the dog would be. As I said, they aren't going to be bear protection. Dunno, will have to think about it. Both of those animals, big as they are, prefer to live indoors. Great, two giants and two cats... that would make for a rumbling cave from time to time! I don't know about Sam, but I know Sassy would enjoy a puppy about as much as she would a shower. Which, as such a puppy grew, she might get too! *shlurp!*
If I do get out a lot more regularly, as I propose... and keep the cave in better condition, whether I move or not I might just find myself in league with a big dog. A dog would be great company out and about, and my canoe can handle dogs. Not sure I would risk a bigger dog on whitewater, but for flat waters such a creature would make for decent company and mild protection while I sleep. I was a bit nervous about food requirements, but for dogs over 75 pounds, the recommendation was 2-4 cups, twice a day (general rule). Though at 200 pounds, I would guess a st. bernard might... eat a bit more? Oh, he'd let you know if it wasn't enough... "Where is Sassy? Hey, I'm... let her out!" :p
Bedtime.
.
Well, maybe. Not right away. Though it wouldn't be a bad thing, in the mid to long term. More so if moving is in the plans. Here, a german shepherd would be preferred. If Alaska is the way, then perhaps a breed that can handle the climate, and... some other things. A saint bernard, black russian terrier, or such might be the way to go. No dog, or even pack of dogs, would be all that good against a bear or even wolves or an angry moose. But they would be an assist in a bad situation, of many sorts. Even the most weather able dog would need protection, and have limits, up there. Heck, even right here. Dog boots in some of the colder times, if you go out hiking or hunting, might well be necessary. Feeding them would be quite a chore though.
A bigger dog would have to be trained well, and early. While I have a hundred pounds on the biggest of st. bernards, most people don't. And I wouldn't want to have to do that at 70 miles an hour. No, train them young, be the master, or don't mess with such animals. I am sure there are other breeds that might work well. It depends more on what my real want of the dog would be. As I said, they aren't going to be bear protection. Dunno, will have to think about it. Both of those animals, big as they are, prefer to live indoors. Great, two giants and two cats... that would make for a rumbling cave from time to time! I don't know about Sam, but I know Sassy would enjoy a puppy about as much as she would a shower. Which, as such a puppy grew, she might get too! *shlurp!*
If I do get out a lot more regularly, as I propose... and keep the cave in better condition, whether I move or not I might just find myself in league with a big dog. A dog would be great company out and about, and my canoe can handle dogs. Not sure I would risk a bigger dog on whitewater, but for flat waters such a creature would make for decent company and mild protection while I sleep. I was a bit nervous about food requirements, but for dogs over 75 pounds, the recommendation was 2-4 cups, twice a day (general rule). Though at 200 pounds, I would guess a st. bernard might... eat a bit more? Oh, he'd let you know if it wasn't enough... "Where is Sassy? Hey, I'm... let her out!" :p
Bedtime.
Christmas shopping already?
.
.
Well, yes. My mother went to get a new phone. The woman almost talked her into a bad deal. Thankfully she knew better. She decided to talk to me first. Always a good plan, especially when it's on my nickle. The dumb broad suggested this deal would "save me money". No, no it wouldn't. In a year or less I will be ending my overpriced program with them, leaving my mother's phone as the sole system. No texts, no smartphone costs, just voice. If I find out they don't have that, I'll cut and run and figure something else out.
However, in deciding to ask, my mother will receive a much better ereader. All I will pay is for the wi-fi version. If she wants more, the 3G type, she will have to pay the extra and purchase the service. I simply will not go there, wouldn't for myself. There is enough free wi-fi around that she can jack almost anyone... businesses, friends, neighbors, even where she works most likely. Especially since it won't be actual surfing or such, just loading books. I am looking at the kindle voyager or paperwhite for her. I will go with no ads, but as I said, not with 3G. I'm not even sure 3G is all that available where she lives.
Not this month, not next. In July or August, though, I might be able to put that into the queue. But it IS a Christmas gift. Hmm... if she wants 3G, that could be her birthday gift part? I'll think on it. Spare the coin, spoil the parent? Yahey. Yeah, that might work well, actually. Oh, she'll go for it. Especially after last Christmas. I went well over, and it was all my decision, plus on target. Oh, and I already got her for mother's day. So... I'm in pretty good standing lately. Off-brands of ereaders, at this point, while they might have decent functions, have great limits as to books. Currently it's Amazon or it's not, for books and ereaders. Thankfully she asked first. Barely. Gah!
Later.
.
Well, yes. My mother went to get a new phone. The woman almost talked her into a bad deal. Thankfully she knew better. She decided to talk to me first. Always a good plan, especially when it's on my nickle. The dumb broad suggested this deal would "save me money". No, no it wouldn't. In a year or less I will be ending my overpriced program with them, leaving my mother's phone as the sole system. No texts, no smartphone costs, just voice. If I find out they don't have that, I'll cut and run and figure something else out.
However, in deciding to ask, my mother will receive a much better ereader. All I will pay is for the wi-fi version. If she wants more, the 3G type, she will have to pay the extra and purchase the service. I simply will not go there, wouldn't for myself. There is enough free wi-fi around that she can jack almost anyone... businesses, friends, neighbors, even where she works most likely. Especially since it won't be actual surfing or such, just loading books. I am looking at the kindle voyager or paperwhite for her. I will go with no ads, but as I said, not with 3G. I'm not even sure 3G is all that available where she lives.
Not this month, not next. In July or August, though, I might be able to put that into the queue. But it IS a Christmas gift. Hmm... if she wants 3G, that could be her birthday gift part? I'll think on it. Spare the coin, spoil the parent? Yahey. Yeah, that might work well, actually. Oh, she'll go for it. Especially after last Christmas. I went well over, and it was all my decision, plus on target. Oh, and I already got her for mother's day. So... I'm in pretty good standing lately. Off-brands of ereaders, at this point, while they might have decent functions, have great limits as to books. Currently it's Amazon or it's not, for books and ereaders. Thankfully she asked first. Barely. Gah!
Later.
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