A new very old game.

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I played a computer game a long time ago, when I could still afford computers on which I could play games.  Well, and when there were games worth playing.

System Shock.  I had heard it was being remade.  Then... nothing.  I checked for it, from time to time.  I was hoping it might get to consoles, but that was doubtful.  Though, maybe, for the computer but with low requirements?  I checked every few weeks, then every few months, then yearly, then... it... dropped off my radar.

A difficult time.

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Wasn't sure I could do much.  Just waking was an issue.  I... tried for a while.  Failed.  Tried for a bit more.  Failed again.  Then, later, finally, did make it out.  It was just about as difficult the time I was able to get up.

The body is sore from exhaustion.  The body, and the heart more than other things.  Oh, I... have forgotten meds, for a day or two.  And haven't been taking full doses, missing my later set fairly often.  I just... have trouble just living.

Warm tea just does it.

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When sore, stiff, off, under the weather, a shot of tea... white, green, chamomile, oolong, or other, just has it in the bag.  Coffee is better for a daily, in my mind.  Tea is better for cooler weather, bad moods, stressful times, illness, and those off times.  Well, and as an occasional treat.  Oh, and herbal is great for when caffeine is just becoming too much.  Hibiscus, and several other flower sorts, is absolutely wonderful.

I haven't tried rose.  I have tried lavender, but didn't care for it in the mixes I have made so far.  But will keep trying.  Or, maybe look for what lavender goes better with.  Why?  Because... we live in a big world.  Sampling this, and that, of it, seems to be a gift from God.  He made many things, some to be enjoyed with the eye, or the nose, or the tongue, or else.  Sometimes things are meant to please in many ways.  If too, there is some small risk trying new things.  If... risk... is part of the joy of life?  Without risk, there would be no joy?  Or... something.

Tiny details.

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In a game as large as Elden Ring, the level of detail, the volume of items, number of secrets, and special missable bosses and fights, is impressive.  For all of it's problems, this isn't one of them.  Even if they cheat certain things, a lot in some places, you get value for your money.  The quality mostly makes up for the cheating.  Stick and carrot, always, it seems.

Still, I remembered quite a bit, for not having played for years.  And I figured out other things.  But there are still things I miss, forgot, or possibly never found originally on my first playthrough.  Wonderful though, enjoying.  And... looking up things.  After I have, pretty much, cleared an area, then I'll go see what I missed.  Then decide if I'll go back for it.  Which I usually do.  Even if I don't use it with this 'toon, or this 'toon's particular build, doesn't mean I may not use it later, on a slightly, or vastly, different build.

Every single last thing.

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The game I was playing.  I liked it well enough I tried one of the three dlc's.  It was good, no added political tomfoolery, so I got the others.  There is a lot to do in the game, and it can be complicated to figure out what to do, where to go, how to get there.  Lots of puzzles, too.

The whole game is a sort of puzzle, maze.  With actual puzzles and mazes to figure out, on the smaller scale.  Once it worked correctly, it was a good game.  The last bits were hidden, and shouldn't have been.  I had to look them up, manually comparing an online map with my map.  Again, these last three things should have shown up on the map, but didn't.  And one of the last things was on the map, but was hidden in the background.

Hmm, perhaps they have better content?

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Oh, I... love the music.  When it is allowed.  Often all I get is very limited feeds.  Sometimes only, say, fourteen video options, few of them of any interest.  Sometimes there is nothing of quality or interest, and only a few videos even offered.  Music seems to be gone, for the most part.  New music.  Just... the same old things.  So, not happy.  Even so, for an hour at a time, or longer, I'll fish y.t. for new or interesting vids.

Sometimes I am surprised.  I ran into a video about gaming, in China.  The war on it, to a degree.  More?  I see that the Chinese war on gaming has some influence on gaming in the US, and around the world.  Our problems... are similar.  Solutions?  Different, to a degree.  Or... applied differently.

Cooling down nicely.

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Just before 23:00, and it was 66 with a solid breeze going.  It sure feels like a goodly bit of cooler air is coming.  Though... you just can't ever be sure, here.  Still, it felt so good, I opened up the cave, upstairs and down, turned off ac's, if I am leaving fans going for now.  If it cools enough, I may even shut those off.

I did start in on the tub, getting that clean... cleaner.  It needs more work than I have got to give it, but this is a start.  A shower, in a bit.  I haven't hit much else.  Trying to get something done in the game, in order to try some bosses again.  I am stuck on the two most difficult bosses in the game.  I'll... put out a vid on one of them.  Or, two vids.  Been looking for a way.  There is supposed to be a way to cheese that boss, but it must have been patched.  They are saying that it hasn't been, but it has.  At least for some of us.

A pleasant night.

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It got down at least to 47.  It may have gotten cooler, I just forgot to check.  It was up to 56 by 8:30 or so.  Then again, that was... what... two hours after sunup, three?  I closed most of the windows up at about three.  The upstairs is still open.  I think I'll make sure all windows are closed, then go on up and close the upstairs windows and go on to bed shortly.

Feeling rough.  I have given up on Resident Evil 4 remake.  It isn't even just the difficulty?  But it looks like time gets randomly added, certain items which should be available to buy aren't always available, and the game just cheats.  While playing on the easiest, or second easiest, it will begin to play as if on a very hard setting.

Either the game is bugged, so that hitting the marks are impossible, or will be made so if one gets near, or the game is rigged to not allow getting through.  Those who get through, it is my contention, either got a game which allows it, as a random thing.  Or, with the game "guru's", they are given copies which allow the possibility of getting through the game in a faster time.  So, I moved on.

Gah!

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First try didn't work.  A lot of time wasted.  Attempted to use an external harddrive for storing the backup.  Nope.  Or, at least, the console couldn't find it.  Albeit, I had used it to store a lot of games, as well.  Okay.  Fine.

So, I fund some flash drives, thumb drives, whatever.  Checked several out.  The problem is, as it was set up, they didn't have enough space for the backup.  So... I removed the shells of the games... the main of them are kept on the ssd.  Then tried.  There was enough space, so I am having it backup to that.  If... it works.

I'll find out after it takes it's pokey time backing up the system.  Then, after I change in the ssd and to a reinstall.  Or... attempt to do one.  It might not work.  This is why people hate working with this crap, at times.  The instructions are clear as mud.  It's more like invocations, some luck, and just chance, whether doing it one way, or another, or the other, will work... or not.  It eats time.  If I want time eaten, it is in playing stupid games, not waiting for a timekiller to become functional.

Well, okay?

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Checked blood sugar.  It was... 164.  I... wasn't expecting that.  Even with the insulin, I suspected it would be 200, 300 maybe, perhaps higher.  I hadn't even anticipated it being the same.  That was a lot of insulin.  If not completely beyond the pale.  A bit more than I would normal choose, for that blood sugar level, and a keto meal.  With a glass of milk, if I was going unketo, or a donut or two, I would have done similar.  Though I may have gone with as little as, say, 8 to 10 cc's.  It... just... I sort of go with my gut, with what I am eating, and how blood sugar has been.

Though, currently, there isn't a trail for blood sugar.  I have only been back on insulin, and testing, the last two days or so.  Still, this is... very good.  If I would, now, like to snack on something, and take a minor dose.  Nothing unketo, such as milk, potato, or even... well?  I am thinking, perhaps, some celery, carrots, and just a dab of peanut butter.  The trick is to not digging into the jar like a fourth grader digging into his nose!  Gold in them thar hills.  :p  A tablespoon,  two?  Two.  And, just... four or five celery sticks (I buy them as shorties) and maybe a dozen baby carrots (sure have gotten small, lately).  That and 10 cc's?  Check.

Well, on to things.  Then back to gaming.  Ugh.  Already 17:22!  Bleh.  I had hoped to be to bed by now.  But there is no way I can sleep.  Oh, but I did get the smoke out, mostly.  And the house is closed back up.  It was 48 out there, but pleasant for it.  Anyway... on to a snack, a bit more insulin, gaming, and... bed when I can.  Good afternoon, day, and most likely (or... not actually) goodnight.

Ah, a thing or two about the game.

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I have been having a heck of a time finding certain things in the game.  I finally decided to check the web.  At first I thought to check y.t., but that is a horrible way to find things.  Going through an half hour to hour video, especially after having found half or more of something, would be grueling, especially without knowing which were found, 1, 2, 3, etc.  So having to look, find the location, hopefully.  Then go and see if it is there.

So, I went looking for maps.  And other data.  It says you are supposed to be able to find these by using the same methods I HAVE been using.  I was doing the right things, but the items simply aren't visible.  Now, there are areas that are second levels, down, under roads.  But I have been under as much as I could find.  It does, can, get tricky.  Still... as much time as I have poured into finding things, I would have thought to have found them.

Still, now I have maps, with general information, and specific information for those which were squirreled away.  Completionist?  Not... so much, anymore.  But, these finds add to my skills.  So, are worth finding.  Anymore?  I won't find stupid stuff just to find stupid stuff.  Especially since most games aren't worth getting a platinum trophy (signifying all trophies were obtained).  Some are impossible, requiring online play, which I don't do.  Some are impossible, because what they require is outside of my current skills.  As well, some aren't worth playing to get those tricky ones.  Too much bother involved.  If it isn't something reasonable to get, I just don't bother at this time.

This game is... reasonable.  So far.  A lot of uglies in it, but it is an ugly city.  That's why I wouldn't live in a city.  The orcs eventually run the real people out, and then take it over, ruling like apes, top to bottom.  So it is shown in this game.  I guess he works with who is available.  Probably ignoring much of the dirt he must have on them, because the next in line is worse.  A funny thing?  They never have Mexicans, or indians (or India indians), or chinese, or Japanese, or Islanders, in it.  Just mugglings and whites.  

But, it is, so far, playable.  Just a bit more difficult than I find reasonable.  But, I am old.  Slow.  For as close to dead as I am, it is what it is.  Well... on to playing.  Later.

I...

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I just had to try to finish the last boss in the game.  It... took longer than anticipated.  It is a very long fight.  Then you... have to fight him again.  Plus, it isn't clear what you are really doing.  As well, there are... many distractions.  And, I am so tired.  Still a bit of twitching, from extending beyond my normal, and capacity really.

All good.  Yes, I won.  I just... I... wanted to finish it.  I had cleared everything up to this point.  So... the only thing to do is either call it good, or go to a harder gameplay mode.  I think I have, in the past, made it through what was the hardest, but a new level of difficulty has been made.  Not sure if I have gotten all the trophies, either.  I could consider that.  Bleh.

First, to get to the boss.

Oh, right.

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Yes, there are methods to beat the games.  Several things had been forgotten, with galaga.  The double ships?  Right.  There seems to have been a glitch.  I probably knew about it back in the day, but wouldn't have used it.  My uncle watched over my shoulder.  He probably knew about the glitch too?  Didn't use it.  We played legit.  I can't remember my highest score, but it was... solid.  It impressed him and he wasn't impressed by much.

So late!

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Down at about noon.  I know, as that is when the call to my mother was.  She couldn't talk last time, and had company this time.  So, it was just a brief, hello and love you.  Which... is... all it needed to be.  It's all I had to say, anyway.  As tired as I was, I was not jealous of company.  My eyes were burning for sleep.  I crashed fast and hard.

Sore, from sleep.  I know I rolled every time I would wake enough to know I was in pain.  But that probably wasn't often enough.  Ribs, front and back, hips, thighs, all hurt.  Still, it's better than when I'd sleep on a regular bed.  My back would be killing me.  Beds aren't good for the back, or my back.  I think a lot of people who sleep on beds, trying to find one which won't hurt them, are only maintaining back pain.  I swear, as with food being made so as to create illness, beds are manufactured in order to create back and other problems?  Wouldn't surprise me.  Actually, would surprise me if they aren't designed with exactly that in mind.  You are paying for your discomfort.  Comfort, and health, is actually found in discomfort and some level of depravity, paucity, sacrifice.  You... can't tell people though, for they mostly will not, and will hate you for the idea.

Anyway.  Then again, even I have difficulty.  Sometimes I can eat less, sometimes I simply don't have the... cognition? to do so.  And, often, when I am going without, foodwise, it isn't a true sacrifice.  It is merely an excess from illness.  My metabolism is so low, however, that I don't lose weight... for good or ill.

Awake.  A fatted coffee, in a bit.  I'll skip chia breakfast, at some point having bacon and eggs.  Sassy has been fed, and her litter cleared.  Three of the pee jugs have finally been cleaned and cleared, I have two remaining.  They have been... just getting emptied.  I have been so broken, that my daily routines have been lost in history for some time.

Beginning to take back my place, if losing days and nights and other things.  Doing my best.  Had hoped to be up early enough to make it to the grocery store.  Will have to be Monday, at the earliest.  As with a trip to the V.A., for blood work.  But, I do have roast pork, and gravy.  If... I couldn't eat that heavy of a food today, now at least, to save my life.  Smaller bites?  Maybe.  But, too, I'll try to cook chicken tonight, and make gravy from it.

But, really, a fatted coffee, another shower, dishes set up... I did get what was left from the previous soaking set back up, and will get one more dishpan of stuff set up, after the shower.  Then, get the dry dishes put away.  I think I can get the other dishes finished tonight, chicken cooked, some work on boxes and stuff just sitting out... sorting, storing, tossing.  And some gaming.  Not... quite ready to game today.

I did respec my 'toon.  I am goofing, in various places, to see how well it works.  The problem is, there are portions of the game this is weak in.  So, I am sorting how to improve that.  Distance attacks.  Sometimes those are handy, sometimes they just allow one to bypass stupid elements of the game.  I could re-respec, but I'd rather use what I have and get it going from there.  I hate that I feel the need to respec, to get through, but some areas seem impossible with a pure mage build.  I suppose, with enough tries, and luck, and if the game doesn't decide to cheat, you COULD make it through.  But who wants to dance around luck and improbability to finish a fucking game?  Bleh.  You can tell when a game was designed by pagans.

Death? Life?

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A game?

I don't know that I buy it.  But, I don't know that I don't.  I have beaten Dark Souls I and II.  I didn't play III.  And, the game I am now playing is, pretty much, the next Dark Souls.  As well, I beat the first game, these were roughly based upon.  As well, I am... still... alive?

Perhaps back to bed, for just a nap?

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I've made it about four hours?  Something like that.  But I'm... not going to last much longer.  I did get insulin, if it... didn't seem to help?  Okay, well, I probably tested too soon.  I has, blood sugar, come down.  But initially it went up.  A very odd thing, given that I only ate chia seed, and took... significant doses of both types.  Still, I... abused food yesterday rather significantly.

A very little bit of gaming.  Just so tired, can't concentrate.  I did get a few more items, on my list of things to do before new game plus.  I haven't beaten the last boss, or even the second to the last boss.  Nor, to be honest, am I sure how many bosses there are left!  I have tried searches, but come up nubs.

Better.

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A lot better.  Pain has lifted.  I was aware of the pain the whole time I slept, especially when waking to add to the five liters of pee.  But, even when sleeping, my eyelids were sweating from the pain.  Yea, it... was rough.  I... didn't think there was a way out.  Painkillers help, not... against the roaring raging suffering I was facing, I was thinking it would be as a cup of water on a bonfire.

Well, I am having coffee.  So, there is that.  I have had two bottles of water, which help with hydration.  The painpills, too.  So, it hasn't just been, I suppose, an attack on just the pain, but the causes, and possibly symptoms.  Still, it's as if a major fever has broken.  Still weak, legs to arms, to core... shaky.  But... the pain has eased to a mild background noise sort of thing.  As opposed to being in the center of a massive storm, deafened by the pain.  Agony, sweet, beautiful, terrible.  About on par with love, both good and bad.  Aye.  *wink*

Enough better that I am filling two more jars of r.o. water, from the countertop unit, rebagged the bins, and put them where they belong.  Little things, but I was thinking I'd be going back to bed shortly.  I was feeling like I was being torn apart, internally, and my head being bashed in.  I.... wasn't going to be able to do much as was.  So... little things are good things.

What next?  Whatever I think I can do.  I am sweating, just a bit, from the breaking of the cursed state of affairs.  Have you ever eaten too much chocolate, and broken out in a sweat from the richness?  Oddly, that is the sort of sweat I am in.  The furnace is still at 72, so it isn't that.  An odd thing.  Anyway...

Yes!

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Finally.  Medicines put into the dispensers.  Though I hadn't been absent from medicines as long as it seemed.  I was only able to scrape up a little over a month... about a month and an half if I remember correctly.  Though I did add a bit extra in that first week, which is actually going to be used for two weeks.  Anything I would take morning, or night, that wasn't too difficult to take, I added.  Only things that are hard to take... though even those I found a bit of an add, and things that required two doses, were kept to a minimum.

And, I took the first dose.  I will order medicines soon, too.  As soon I can be awake at the right time to do it.  Of, if I have to, I'll push it along somehow.

I really can't think of anything to eat?  Oh... maybe a salad.  That might be really nice.  I bought sliced cheese, and deli meats, but can't eat it.  How I was able to eat it before, I just can't fathom.  But, for now, no way.  Oh, well, I could sprinkle some cheddar on as well.  If I had boiled eggs, that would do well.  But I scarfed those in less than a week... if you really should.  They'd be really bad by now, anyway.

Oh, and I... made it through one of the bosses which was giving me difficulty.  Sometimes the bosses are just in the way, other times they have something I want, or are in front of it.  Though, sometimes, I just go back over areas I was encouraged to run through.  Like the following.

Midnight thirty.

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Well, that is when I am here, sitting at the machine.  I went to bed around 14:00, I think.  When I push things, memory becomes difficult.  Ah, I attempted to call my mother slightly before bedtime, that was 13:27.  So, yes, probably right at 14:00, maybe slightly after.  I probably meant to go to bed after calling my mother, but my world, and time, these days... slide.  Time isn't what it seems for me, currently.

A wonderful sleep.  Until I get some things back under control, it seems I am peeing a lot through the night.  I had it down to once or none a night.  Now it is three to four times a night.  It's been worse.  And I am not filling a pee jug every night, though every other night seems normal.  Very annoying.  I had that to filling a jug every three to five days, averaging four.  Cleaning pee jugs is just not a fun chore, especially when they pile up quickly.  Bleh.

Oh, the hydrant.  The handle does open and close, but water doesn't flow.  I'll... tinker with it, on a warmer day.  Then again, yesterday wasn't bad, at 30 out there when I checked, in the morning.  But a bit of a breeze.  Still, not too bad.  I just wasn't in shape to tinker, and had to think about what might be wrong.

I may try to pull the head, and extract the rod and plunge stopper.  But, first, I may check to see if the rod is fully attached to the plunge stopper.  That might be the problem.  As well, readjust the stopper depth.  To do the first suggested would require turning the water off.  These last two can be done without messing with the water shutoff.  I am just hoping I don't have to get a backhoe in and dig down again.  No way to hand dig that deep of a hole, really.  That is what equipment is for.  

How did they do it before machinery?  Sons.  Sons was how most hard work was done.  If pops could, he might as well, but mostly sons.  I have some, but... they aren't available.  And, at my age, it would be handed down to grandsons.  And, being what kids are these days, I doubt they have produced.  And if so, they aren't workers.  They want to sell financing in a climate controlled environment, and eat the world in doing so, rather than make or do anything real... assuming they are at all "successful" in this "modern" America.

Blood sugar is still a little high, at 140 fasting.  I will be watching very carefully, everything, going forward.  I am hoping kefir isn't the problem, but have a sinking feeling.  Even double brewed, the stuff may be simply too high in carbs?  It is suggested a cup is between four and eight carbs.  But that shouldn't be a problem.  That is standard, I double brew so would be on the low end of that.  Though, maybe, I haven't measured well?  In any case, I... will get to the bottom of the problem.  Maybe I was eating too much, recently, in all cases?  I just started logging yesterday, so...  And I have been out of sorts, still am.  So, yea, maybe.

I don't know.  I'll try to get things going.  Waterers refilled, maybe another shower, dishes going... after I get those jars washed out.  Though, technically, those ARE dishes, so.  Still, other dishes.  Pots and pans, to get eggs back into the menu system.  And to just have clean things around for general use.  I need more milk, too, to get kefir going.  Ugh, stuck, on that.  But will go with it, at least one more week, to see how it works out.

Oh, found something for a friend.  Not really my sort of games, but he had been wondering.  Not sure if his machine is coming in soon, or what.  But... this might wet his appetite for the machine and what to do with it.  You are welcome, I hope.  Though you probably look on your own.  Still, popped on my radar, I thought to pass it along.  Oh, but the one... Frostpunk... the second or whatever... that...  I am curious about that because if they are coming out with a second one, then the first must have been at least okay.  And I am curious about the first one already, doubly so now.

Just couldn't quite get to bed.

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While I couldn't get any more work done, I also could not sleep.  My mind was thinking of what to do, when, how.  It just wouldn't shut down.  The salad was still good.  I had two bratwursts remaining as well.  I heated those, sliced them, and added them to the salad.

I don't like the Newman's Best ranch as well as other ranches.  But it was the best, by ingredient list, I could find.  And inexpensive, oddly.  For dipping it doesn't do at all, though I would use it over other options.  But, on a salad proper, it is better.  Their italian dressing is really good though.  Not a complaint, just noting.  I used to the ranch.

A nice keto meal, possibly for tomorrow, will be cold cuts, wrapped around a teaspoon of cream cheese.  Say four to six of those.  Tasty and, in my case, pretty good for me.  Six?  Maybe eight.  Just one slice of meat, so...  Then frying burger into crumble.  If the salad will last just one more meal, that would work well together.  The meat spiced hot, and varied with else.  The meat will be the dressing.

If I can keep it together.  At this point I am trying to stay awake until I can do chores.