Hmm...

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Yes.

Very good.

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Exhausted near to the point of crossed eyes.  But, it is nearly 18:00.

I had hoped, through the day, to do some work.  But that just wasn't possible.  Just keeping my body in my chair, and my mind awake, was the limits of my abilities.

Chuckles galore?

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Yes.

I meant to get coffee in, so I could stay up a few more hours.  But, was so tired that I moved very slowly.  I finally got coffee, and was sipping it, when I thought to look at the time.

Really tired.

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Did get out, finished the process with the hair.  It's... good.  Should take a few years off?  Dunno.  Too tired to make an assessment right currently.  As well, it's dark, cloudy, out.  Just not the right light to check things.  I'll look, when I can wake, sun or dark, cloudy or clear.  I'll be looking over the next few days, to see if this is something to continue.

Now, it's a start.  Had to experiment as is.  I think, from general first impressions, that it is a good thing... for what I am wanting it for.  Just to add a touch of youth back into the equation.  Men, just like women, are selling their flesh.  It's an open market, flies, warts, grey hair, short or tall, fat or skinny, it's... all... out there for easy perusal.

Gifts?

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That's how I'm taking it.  Personal?  I think so.  Meaning?  Good gifts?  Take what you can.  I... appreciate these, for, and as, they are.

If you wish, enjoy as well.  Or... go on back to safer ground.

Nice.

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A rainy day.  Cloudy, dark, all day.  But it is the right kind of rain and gloom.  The green picking up, flowers have to be getting ready, trees are setting to blossom if they aren't in places.  A generous day for life.  A beginning, new or old or again.

I got the woolens through, the whites into the dryer, another load started?  I... did okay.  Then a shower, and wound bandaging.  Couldn't do more.

Oh, well, there is that.

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Some little femme fatale is playing my music?  Perhaps a murder or unkindness of... birds?  Those who fly with dragons seems to be of a certain sort.  *grins*

Can't say I mind.  I love it when the little ones try to use my weapons against me, and... perhaps... in their fair turn?  The world may not be fair, but all times turn.  So be it, amen, and thank God?  Aye.

A few morning thoughts, from others.

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This one is a guy doing a one year review.  A more realistic one.

Look.  I like carnivore, for what it does.  But?  It's a ballbuster of a diet.  It is difficult to stay on.  It takes a bit of practice, patience, there is a learning curve, and I find myself always looking for the "easier" way.  There is not easy way.  But, when you are on it?  And have gotten it to work?  Fat melts, even without exercise.  But it hurts.  Heck, even my physical frame hurts, from not having the mass it used to have, and having voids, or weak areas, or such.

Rainy days and Mondays?

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Maybe Mondays, at one time, got me down.  Sometimes.  But rainy days rainy days rarely did.  Oh, sometimes.  And, sometimes, they just beat me into the dirt, if I was having other problems.  But not this rainy day.  Oh, slowing me down a bit, just the dark, wet, gloom.  But... I... love this day.  Greening out there, I know that rain helps that.  And... there is "alive" in the air.  The rain spreads that.

Of course, I don't have to work in it.  It is a cold rain, not a warm fresh one.  But, even if I had to work in this one, on this day, I would like it.  I would put some layers on though, and a rainproof slicker, or whatnot.  But, every once in a while, I would look over, and up, and smile.  If mostly trying to keep dry.  Some days, for me, it's good to be alive through.  This, for a thousand and no reason(s), is one of those days.

Maybe not everything.

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I had high doubts everything hoped would be completed.  I had small hopes anything would be done.  More so when I woke up, and have had trouble uncrossing my eyes from the exhaustion I am suffering.  Raining, for a while it was incredibly rainy out there.  Not sure windshield wipers would have even helped on the highest of the modern settings.  Cool, dark, to go along with it.

Pretty out there, though.  I won't deny that.  Greening, growing things, yet still with the snow on the mountains.  It's... a nice part of the world in which to live.  I can't really afford it, I just can't afford to escape at the moment either.  Can't really sell the house, can't get out.  So... I'll take the good with the bad.

Tired.

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There for a bit, I thought I was going to crash.  I fed Sassy again.  Put bags in the bigger trash cans, which I had to get from storage.  Well, and while at it, brought laundry down from upstairs and put a load into the wash, while moving the load in the wash to the dryer.

Finally, I got coffee going, then also got a meal to heating.  Nothing fancy.  Aluminum foil, a bit of the casserole, the oven at 350, and a timer.  I must say, having a convection oven is worth the bit more in cost... which is less than it used to be but still a bit of a premium.

Very good.

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The bruise is still a bit grumpy today.  Still rather large, compared to any bruise I have had before in my life.  But too, a tenth it's original size?  Or so.  I am hoping bringing compression back into the equation will help.  But good reasonable sleep helps.  Down at around one, up at twenty to eight today.  I couldn't make the six wake, but I beat the eight alarm.

Sassy wasn't even pushing me this morning, but she was a little chatterbird as I woke.  Just "talking" to me, maybe about her dreams, or this, or that.  But she wasn't pushing me to wake up.  Just... happy to be alive, and I was happy with her.  She was surprised when I actually woke up.  She's been super, so I fed her first thing.

A better day.

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And about bedtime.

I did go retrieve the casseroles.  I heated some of the chicken cordon bleu.  That was pretty good.  A lot of pasta, but it will... do for now.  I'll try some of the meatloaf tomorrow, then probably put the rest of that into the freezer.  I'm thinking of pulling a third of that out, and putting a third of the c. bleu up.  Then freezing that for next week.  Nice.

I also remembered to pick up milk from the store.  So, tomorrow I am hoping, I can set up the kefir.  One thing at a time.

I'm almost certain.

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I sense her eyes upon me, if through my blog.  Who?  Who else.  Well, there are options.  The woman who has been watching me since I was actually small.

I feel some of what she feels.  Memories, thoughts, worries.  They... never stop worrying.  They aren't always nice, pleasant, kind.  That's... not their job.  Perhaps, more when we were younger.  To help when we hurt?  But later in life, a push or shove or a hug could all be seen as a part of their jobs.

A reasonable day, so far.

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Oh, but I better begin pushing through.  I did start laundry back up.  Ugh.  What is in there was left too long.  I can't find the vinegar.  Yes, they are still stealing things.  This, that, and vinegar too.  They take whatever they want.  I'm never certain about what that will be.

I got it in, used "bleach" for colored clothes, plus regular detergent.  Then ran that twice, on hot.  It's as good as I can do.  Now to get whatever is in the dryer out, switch it over, and hope that works.  I'll run a cleaning pod through a wash cycle.  Hope that helps as well.  Then, back to colored clothes.  I have two bigger batches in various places, and some in the washroom already.  Two?  Three loads?  I'll find out.

Late.

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I ran out of snoozes with the eight alarm.  But, was just awake enough to not let go.  Just a bit more and I was able to wake and get going.  I feel better, good really.  Am taking down a simple electrolyte supplemented water.  Will get medicine in with it.  No painkillers, life is rather sweet this morning.

For electrolyte powder, I use this.  I am adverting for this product because, at .45 a serving?  With enough for about three months of daily?  And the quality it has, and flavoring?  It's difficult to beat.  Actually, you won't beat it.  Some Chinese knock-off will sell for similar or cheaper, but who knows what is really in it.  The Chinese just don't count human life as valuable.  Of course, the US (government and business) is becoming Chinese, if we aren't already worse.

Called several places.

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Trying to find food.  A batch order.  Some sort of issue with their supplier.  Called another store.  Same problem.  Called another store?  No dice, just don't offer anything like what I was looking to purchase.  Frozen?  Have you looked at the ingredients in those?  A hard no.  The meat isn't even real, it's... partially vegetal... something.

I have looked around, online, to check for other places.  Nope.

A reasonable day.

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Hitting midafternoon.  A coffee in.  A bit of cough, though from dehydration, pollen, or something else, I can't be certain.  It's a dry cough, that's all I know.  Furnace is on.  Between that and the little sun getting through, it's 71 in this front room.  The furnace, at 72, just doesn't have enough to warm this room, so the house must be acting as a minor heat collector.

It was 53... sometime this morning.  When I woke?  By ten almost to be sure.  It's between 58 and 59 now, but sprinkling.  It's blustery out there, and mostly overcast.  But it's a pretty day for all that.  The world is greening, things are popping out and growing.  It's a good world.  And spring is a special time for the world.

Russia took out an Israeli nuke?

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Well, so goes the scuttlebutt around... some parts of the internet.  Believe?  Rumor?  You takes your chances, you learn to take all with salt, bigger or smaller grains, but... all with salt.

Me?  I... could see it.  Though, if I were to go that way, and believe the Israeli attack on Iran, with the probable intention of a high level (emp) detonation?  And the F-35 flying it in being shot down?  By Russia?  I would also have to believe they were informed by the US, given coordinates, current location, maybe the information to lock in the kill... live.

Pretty good.

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Going to bed at midnight thirty, I didn't think I'd be up at six, was hoping for eight.  I did wake a four to six, but no, yeah, I couldn't get up.  I had to hit the snooze twice, after the eight alarm, but was able to get up then.  No serious pains, not just crawling out still with a sleepyhead.  Fed Sassy first thing.  Well, after going to the bathroom.  And emptying the pee jug.  Three liters out, again, last night.

I hate peeing again at night.  I had, before the wreck, gotten to where that was a rare thing.  Between wrong but necessary food, limping to the bathroom so not going as often, this, that, and the other thing, I'm back to peeing at night.  At least I'm not wetting the bed as I did in my early teens.  Bladder hadn't grown fast enough to keep up, and sleep was difficult even back then.  When the world hates you, whether it knows it, or even knows why, you... sleep... lightly.  Violence, of one form or another, may be visited on you in an instant.

Wow.

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Time slipped by.  I was half snoozing, though, drifting through the evening.  Some thoughts, dreams, day dreams, and such.  Some awake time.  It's midnight thirty, or almost.  Bedtime, well past.  I'll set the alarms, and hope.  But there is a good chance I can't make it.

Did get medicine in.  And more water.  Drying up though.  Got to get electrolytes in.  Tomorrow, for sure.

Twice to town.

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A few returns.  Time was running out.  Needed my phone, for email, and when I got to town I realized it was back at home.  Gah.  Still, was able to get back, find it, return, and do the returns.  Yes, it was in question.

While doing better from this morning, and never did need to end up napping or sleeping longer, I was still just barely staying awake, and getting through the day.  One trip in was a push.  Two was a shove.  It was difficult.  But... the driving was nice, it is, was, a nice day.  Conditions couldn't have been better.

A bit better.

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The ribs don't hurt as much.  I'm not quite as seemingly tired.  The other pains and aches have eased a bit.  Not perfect.  Better.

Hoping to brush my teeth.  I took the chicken out with the trash.  Quite a waste of money, but I couldn't eat anymore.  And it was too late to put some or all of it in the freezer.  Four or five days out, it's just... won't freeze or thaw well.

I didn't think so.

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I did get some food in, after the shower.  But I am really in bad shape.  The ribs.  Exhaustion.  General pains too.  Not a good day.  Why?  I don't know.  Still, I hoped I would be able to get trash and recycling out.

After finishing those things, feeding Sassy, and a few minor things, I had to sit for a while.  Yes, I... started sleeping again.  But, something woke me?  Yes, something.  What is a good question.  A door slamming close enough to cause immediate alertness?  Some other sound?  A memory flash?  I don't know.  I only know I became awake, fully, quickly.

Feeling odd.

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Even so, I did get a shower taken, wounds bandaged, and at least into pj's so that if I can get the trash and recycling collected, I can get it out.  But completely exhausted.  Not sure what the problem is.  No food for too long?  Three days, I think, now?  Hmm, I might have yogurt, and some canned fruit.  That might help?  Because otherwise I don't think I'll get to those chores.

Again with the shorter compression socks.  Toeless.  Just not ready for the heavy duty stuff, even of the shorter style.  But this is doing okay.  Weight was down to 232.3 or such.  I think the recent high was 238.x, after not using compression for an extended period, and not taking heart medicine... waterpills anyway.  So... this... is an improvement.  I'll take it, and try to keep going with it.

Ribs hurt.  A bit sore and tired.  Ugh.  I'll keep at things anyway.  I hope.

Better get some food in, to try to push through.  Or I'll be late.  Later.

Up rather early.

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Sort of fair enough.  I went to bed pretty early.  Giving me ten hours of sleep.  More than I usually take, but things have been irregular lately.  Healing costs a little extra sleep, or does for me.  A little or a lot, depending on the day.  No pain lately, or nothing persistent, or even anything I can sense without thinking about it.  It's been a nice reprieve after several weeks of nauseating pain.  Still nauseated, but not from pain.  Just from the thought of food.

I checked blood sugar last night.  It was really high, 304.  That was milk.  I got another gallon of milk, to try to help with food.  Ended up drinking the milk, but skipping the chicken.  Even drinking the milk was an effort.  Won't do it again, both because it wasn't a pleasure and because of the blood sugar bump.  It is 261 fasting, and will come on back down if I stick to water, carnivore.

Did and didn't.

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Technically, I didn't go to bed.  No nap, or extended sleep.  However, most of the time I have been awake, I have been... sleeping?  Something close to it.  Wow.  Yea.

I haven't been in pain.  I didn't feel sleepy.  I just haven't really been awake.  Which is fine.  I'm about to head on up to bed now.

Some problem with blogger.

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Posting comments is proving difficult.  For other people and myself.

Someone posted a comment recently.  But couldn't get it through to the post intended.  So, they put it on another post.  I tried to respond.  And was told that I had reached comment limits for the day.  I can see why google removed the "don't be evil", or similar, statement.

So, if you are having trouble posting?  It's google, pretty much, being evil.

I'll respond when I can, if I can.

Heat is on.

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It was starting to get a bit cool.  So I turned the furnace back on.  It went to 70.  I turned it up to 72 then put it on hold... otherwise it shuts down at night.  I'm not sure when though.  Hmm... I might take it off hold, see how that works.  I want it off at night, these days.  That's just about perfect.

The compression socks are doing okay.  Not hurting too much.  Not too hot.  All sorts of issues with these things.  A problem one day, one way, a solution to other problems the next day.  Sort of a tricky thing.  Do your best, alter, change, figure, such is life.

I love beating the alarm clock.

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By six minutes this morning.  If I had hoped to be awake earlier, this will do.  I woke at 4:30?  Around there.  But could not compel myself to wake.  I did put in effort.  To be honest, I had to shove to get up and out now.  Have a little headache for it.

Fed Sassy first thing.  It's 64 in the front room.  Probably won't turn the furnace on, up, until or unless I start feeling the icy grip of cool, cold, and feel that sleep might become necessary otherwise.  Always a risk I'll just crash when that happens, by the time I notice.  But... okay.