I dreamed a little dream.

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Of her.  And her twinky.  A wonderful little dream.  Okay, not actually to the point of the sexual.  

Then, I realized, she was dreaming of me too.  Stupid girls.  We passed each other, in our dreams, as two ships passing.  We could see into each others' dream, as if passengers looking in on passing ships, through port holes.  Clear, or open.

We both enjoyed... the views, ideas, shapes.  For all my problems, I sure like the form, feel, and design of women.  Mostly.  Their brains are so... oddly wired.  Their fears are so... strange.  But to look at, and more?  I'm stuck.  I couldn't imagine wanting else.

Wonderful odd little nearly erotic dream.  Not quite dirty, but certainly just down the street.  Like good kids, being decent, but understanding... there is more to it.  And... considering the day that might happen.  Gorgeous, and yet chaste too.  That touch of lust, in with innocence, and a fresh cool ocean breeze, on a beautiful moonlit night.

I... can yet dream.  I can share.

Water?  A shower?  Food?  Later... or good night.

Not today.

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I set the alarms for eight and ten.  No dice.  I think I remember the ten, or her calling at noon?  Either way it didn't matter.  Noise in the background, and pain, is all I could understand.  She may have called again.  It didn't matter.  I finally, if just, crawled out of bed arond 14:30.

Even then, just getting out of bed was a very painful struggle.  My torso feels like it has been worked over by a hick with a two by four and good cause.  Some of them claim their women strongly, for example.

But too, my biceps, trices, quads, glutes, and most of my major muscle groups, some bones, tendons, and joints are a bit sore to raw.  I have two types of headaches, one from pushing too long, one from neck and back tension, if thankfully no migraine in there.  As well, my heart is sore from weariness.

Just sitting up was a thing.  Getting out of bed was brutal.

So... no work today.  No big work.  Mom... understood, or let it go today.  I wasn't going to argue.  If she wasn't going to play nice, I was just going to grab a water and go hack to bed.  She... relaxed.  So we talked.  She asked for a few things, things I could do.

She wanted me to make my homemade ranch dressing.  I had let her know I had a smaller cordless kit for her.  She wanted me to get that and some bits for her.  I had to hunt and peck, but got those items.  Had to charge the batteries, which is done save the third battery, but it is in the cradle.  Should be more her size, certainly compared to my 9 ah flex DeWalt.  It is a Milwaukee, just their smallest or thereabouts.  She also has smaller impact driver in the kit.  Not sure she will use that, but the old girl has more grit, sometimes, than even I thought, and I'm rather... demanding.  Eighty two?  Well, you aren't dead yet, I might larf holler.

Oh, then I found a bit set.  If I get back up later, to get a shower, gave some food, I may see about a small drill bit set for her too.  Help them help you, if it is all you can do?  Plus, I think she is proud of her own little kit.  And it should serve her well.  Freedom has costs, but it opens the world.

A bit of water, after I finish.  Back to sleep for a bit.  Maybe up for food, that shower, and to finish her kit.  And to take night meds...

Oh?  BP was... 126/76?  Pulse in the low 70s?  It was as high as 210/120 with a pulse as high as 120, maybe 140, just last week.  Might be part of why my body hurts.  While good, that is nearly halving those numbers, in a hurry.

Well.  There is that.  Later, or good night.

Awake at midnight.

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Was, that is.  It is now one.  Close enough.  Water.  When I can wake... or more get up.  A shower too?  Peckish?  Sure, just not sure if I am hungry enough to do anything about it.  Hmm, a slug of kefir might work, a fatted coffee too?  It's been a while since I've doubled those in a day.

I'll open the windows when I am down.  Might turn off the ac and open the windows up here.  Fresh air is the bestest.  If it is cool enough.

One last load of orders through amazon.  Some things mom wants or needs, some for me.  A hauler for the yard, a trimmer more my size, tshirts for her to try, and a few items I have wanted for the house but finally think I can work my way through to... various filters for the water coming in.  Various stages of sediment and a few filters for else.  Sediment filters would be super, the others?  Who ever really knows.

Mom buys stuff she really wants, but I add things she says no to.  I... am not always right, or wrong.  I am aimiing to help her, give her what is needed, not just wants, minimums.  She is a hard worker.  She deserves some comfort, style, too.  I can't do as she would.  I am broken.  But I can help, and ease her burden with the right extras.  Trust me, it's a bargain.  And can return what she doesn't end up liking.

Though, I will say, with a work leader, reminders, and such, I am pulling more weight than I thought possible.  I may crash, terribly, at some point.  I do crash, from time to time, but for shootter spells, so far.  If I think she will too.  If we can get the home ready for company, perhaps both ways, then settle for a slow but steady fall and winter routine... while preparing for a spring breakout, and slower summer run?  Things are possible.

She will begin teaching me to iron again.  Pillow cases, as starter materials to learn doing.  Check.  No, I asked her to teach me.  We'll start a small vegetable potted garden, some things possibly going in this fall.  Setting up sewing stations, and working that this winter?

I told her I had a serger.  She went flat and cold on that.  I then told her it had an automatic threader.  She looked at me as if I said I walk on water.  I... think she loved the work they did but spent countless fruitless hours trying to thread.  Those are netoriously difficult, more so since she simply doesn't have the mind for that.  But... autothreading?  I saw... something clicking in there, perhaps as a child dreaming of plum pudding, or trying to hope to dream?  Praying it wouldn't turn into another nightmare?

Anyway.  That is the story for now, tonight.  Later, or good night.

So tired.

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I did get the new shower system in.  It looked a bit daunting.  The instructions were the typical tripe.  But it went together well enough.  The real good thing is the improved water flow.  It gets warm water there much faster.

I'm going to look a bit tonight.  I wanted to install the grab bar.  I looked for the studs, using a magnet.  The whole shower, through the tiles, was magnetized?  Must be a steal basin?  But, the walls sounded hollow, except near the corners.  I am hoping... there is support in there.

That, and the tv mount, first thing.

She wanted to dig in the freezer tomorrow, add a few planter hooks out tonight, and what was planned for tomorrow.  I just said "no".  I was completely done.  I did get the tank changed for the griddle, then cooked supper.  But started crashing.  Never did sleep today.  Really needed it.

On to bed now, though.  Good night 

Not happy.

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But, she has learned when I get a bit of a wobble to my cant, words begin to slur, I am done.  I told her I was just down for water, that I was probably going back up.  But they hear and understand based on their will, not literal meaning.  Emotion based.

I did a few things while down there.  She has retreated from the outdoors.  The sun, and heat, even for a summer girl, is getting back to it's summer regular, and with less atmosphere and air can get tyrannical.  Drawers, in the kitchen.  She keeps wanting to put contact paper in things.  No.  NO!  That is a renter concept.  It destroys whatever you put it in.

No.  I'll eventually sand those out.

I helped, small bits, this and that.  Telling her what some things are.  Surprised she has never made sprouts.  Was probably told by the news that it was hippy food, or somehow bad for you.  Soy, sure... shouldn't even be fed to edible livestock, to be honest.  But your government hates you, so manipulates that into your food supply.  As with sugar, carbohydrate generally, and seed oil.  They want you dead between 60 and 75, slightly younger if possibly, ideally.  Just understandd that.  Though, it too, looks like they are aiming for much younger, and at the productive classes.  To much rejoicing from the target group too.  Oh well.  Never step between the brainwashed and their just desert?  

Anyway... after two waters and a kefir (if still pretty mild), and a water up with me, it's about bedtime again, for a while.  But I really want to get the new shower head and grab bar in, today.  The tv mount would be good, just not sure I can do it all.  Ugh 

Later.

I am worn out.

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I set the alarm for six.  Not to wake, just to begin waking.  Then the second alarm for eight.  If even then I had doubts.  I reset the eight for nine, snoozing through.  Mom called at ten.  I finally made it down at ten thirty.

She had the spool, to add line for the weed whip.  Said it was there, on the table.  Just waking, I just went along with it.  After waking, I am sure it wasn't on the table.  I looked around pretty well, twice, before giving up on that task last night.  Did she realize, then bring it out, then forget?  Or is it a typical, conscious, mom superiority ploy?  Yes, mom's screw with kids as they do hubbies, friends, and enemies.  Head games, if half of their games also somehow involve fooling, pushing, tricking, themselves.  It's why they are so good at, if some men have them nearly totally zeroed.  The only thing is that they really can misforget things too.  A major vagina thing.

And trickster nexus ones quadruply so... even enough to know without needing to debate it every time.  Just drop cues that the gig is known from time to time.  Which is... sometimes completely lost on them, until their female mind tabulates for the last few hours, day(s), or week.  Then they have an "Oh  shit!  He knows!" moment.  *grins*  Which they promptly forget, for comfort, or ignore or take for granted as there seems no serious consequences. ;p

Some bins gone through.  One to the basement.  Old jeans to be cut for a quilt?  Another emptied and sorted.  Two left to begin collecting shoes and boots of my old sizes.  

We talked about what she wanted on the list.  The new shower head has her priority over the tv wall mount?  That surprised me, if how I would have put it for my druthers.  So, the grab bar goes with the shower work.  Gotta keep em' together.  I need to find plumber tape.  Was looking for that when I had to rest.  May sleep a bit.  No choice.

The goal is through to the tv wall mount.  Minus putting the tv up, today.  Nothing else on the list tomorrow, as putting up the tv, hooking up the headphones, and then setting up the rabbit ears to receive local, assuming I can get the wall mount up today (no guarantee) will take tomorrow and maybe the next day.  And none of those are on the official list.  Especially with my need for rest and extra sleep.

Yes, a bit more sleep.  Then to things when I wake.  So very tired, and sleepy.  But, with plans, by the number, for a bit.  Goals after that... through to fall.  And even some tenative ideas for through the winter.  Quilt cuttings, sewing room(s) setup, and a slower deeper house cleaning and sorting.

Really?  Even next spring has steps roughly being scored.  It's... all possible.  I am impressed with what she is doing.  Impressed with what I have been doing.  Sustainable?  This summer sprint?  No.  But we should have the home ready for company late summer.  Do a bit of family social hosting.  A first for me.  But... my door, as I haave said, is open.

I best get a bit of water.  Then sleep more.  Later.

She is beginning to understand.

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I can't do much, or for long.  And less in the heat.  After a trip to town, especially in the summer, I am done.  For a bit.  A few light quick tasks, a bite, then down until my body cools off.  Then I get up and can do a few more light tasks... assuming she doesn't hide what is needed, on purpose or by accident.

Water is being put through the r.o. system, with one jar set out for adding tea bags, for sun tea, in the morning.  About a half gallon a day, is what she slogs.  The extra water, after the jars and extra are filled, goes into the ice machine which I run through the night to top off the ice containers in the freezer.

Windows are opened a crack, fans are turned on if they aren't going.  One of us is up before it gets too hot.  She... sometimes closes things, but I need to check.  Double panels in her room have to be both shut.  Sometimes she does, sometimes she only does one.  Energy, wakefulness, such, play a part.

Been doing well with meds.  Late, tonight, but that works too.  Usually get that in earlier.  But the travel, so many stops today, and bit of work when I got home closed me down too fast today to remember.  Which makes these later wake and work periods a extra boon.  I sometimes hit any remaining dishes.  Not tonight, but I will put up what is drying in the rack at least.

Not everything, every night.  Just enough extra so that she doesn't feel like she is doing it all.  Even if, mostly, she is.  As I told my doc, I can't tend myself.  There is no way I could tend me and her.  But I can help her.  Do.  As well as possible.  This is working for both of us, once we... sorted things, got rested, got a few things better set up, and are communicating really well.  We both want this to work.  

Yes, night shift helps.  Sleep in the afternoon for me, then later.  She sleeps only at night.  Figuring out when we can work together, on what.  And when I just have to walk away.

I have a final list of things to finish setting up her room.  TV wall mount, end table, bedside bar to help her out on days she needs it... which folds out of the way when not needed, the new shower head system so she can have a handheld sprayer where she can reach it, a grab bar in her shower, and... a thing or two more.

No, no, not in one day.  I did prioratize.  I'll get two a day.  Maybe three.  But, I need rest from all the efforts of late, heat, and still helping her on the side.  Two of those a day.  Setting her up a bit.  Resting or sleeping.  Working in my room.  Night shift stuff.  Then more sleep and rest theough to the morning.

She finds I can, and do, go deep.  When or as I can.  Physically, if in limited times, and with heat as a major limit, but able to do almost miracles... when I can work.  But I get it done, don't mind working when, as I can.  And will spend as needed to do things right.  Again, to some limits.

But, spending should be tapering.  I'll be putting her rent in savings, with what I am withholding, until I have... A six month nest egg, or year.  And paying heavier on bills.  But at the year nestegg, I'll cut savings to half current, and chase bills, even, or probably only the heloc (home improvement) loan (by then).

Still, would like to pay that down, then use it for other things, back and forth.  Until I sell or die, or get the old house into solid trim.  Ugh.  Good night.

Oh my word.

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To town again.  Had to.  Medicine, dry cleaning, if it still wasn't all ready?  But okay.  Sassy found her really nice wool cloak and furred it up.  They kindly aren't charging extra.  The grace of time is an easy, even humble cost.

This, that, and more.  Phone was paid, on time, this time.  Will try to figure out auto pay for that this month.  Thought it was already set up.  Not, but at least I got it paid in time so that it can be set up, this time?  And the employee, this time, would have received employee of the month with his approach.  Check.  I... did complain, last time, but just on my blog.  Someone has big ears... eyes?  Got a bit of hastle, after.  But... that seems to have been cleared up.  Very good to work with peeps with good attitudes.

Looked for a storage company I have dealt with before.  Couldn't find it.  Bleh.

Then to the hardware store.  A lawn hose, splitter, and sprayer.  Two terra cotta planters and trivets.  Oh, and a bunch of things.  Some on a list, other things on other, or unwritten, lists.  Trying to support mom, in her efforts, and keep a few other things going on my own.

Ordered a DeWalt trimmer, cord, leaf blower, and extra batteries.  With this, that, and these, I should be able to work myself into the ground before running out of batteries.  At least in the fall, more.  I doubt if I can eat one 5ah, let alone one of the 9 ah flex 20/60 batteries, in this heat.  But... I will be ready to try more this fall.  Even some this summer.

Blood sugar got jacked yesterday.  Too many raw veggies, and jicama.  A whole one, with a veggie plate and even my carnivore dressing, way dosed my blood sugar.  Since it was blown, I got us Jimmy John subs for food today.  Jj's doesn't (usually) jack my blood sugar as one would think.  Usually.  But, with it oddly blown already, I didn't give a hoot either way.  And a bit of a treat, plus no cooking, worked today.

Ugh.  Later.  Much later.  Or good night.

Couldn't sleep.

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Or work.  Resting, reading bits and pieces, here and there.  Trying to cool down.  Hoping to work or sleep.  I may get a shower in, to see if that will help.

I did try on some clothes I received today.  Some will go back tomorrow.  Surprisingly, much fit.  It sounds like about half of what I got mom will work for her.  What doesn't fit will also be sent back, and a few things that were ordered will be ordered in extra.  It should cover one and the other.  With extra, for my and two returns not being replaced.

Oh, but I have overspent.  Not down to zero, but more deeply than thought.  Between the time it takes for charges to go through, and billing to pay, and as busy and hectic as things got, I spent down a bit deeper than thought.

Bills should be covered.  And, maybe, a ribeye roast could be had.  Plus some in the main account, and side account... for emergencies.  But... next month I will cut expenses in half, quarter more like.

Not sure how mom is keeping up.  I just ask to make sure she is sure she is okay.  And I have been managing a small stash for her.  At least she knows, somehow, that I keep her money straight.  When I remind her, about spending, she remembers.  Plus... she has a good idea of how much I have spent on her, for some of her needs and wants.

I can't, won't, buy everything she wants.  Some things I know she needs, even unders and bras... which she was going crazy looking for, not finding, but refusing to buy.  I... get bullheaded like that sometimes, and just suffer through.  A bit embarrassing, but I refused to let her suffer through.  Stubborn cow!  ;p  Well, and a few other things.  As said, though not all.  She has to be aware of economy.  That she may have to pay keeps her list of wants and needs... smaller, focussed.  Well, and she is losing weight, so... trying to give her a bit of help there.  Losing weight can get pricy of a sudden.  A little help really is a relief.  I'm just glad that I can help, even just this bit.

Life is pretty good.  We have smoothed out.  We manage our anger, memory issues, and paranoia for my part.  I am, mostly, confident that even if she does something, mostly, wrong... it is an error, not intention.  Or... just old habits.  We really try to help and work with each other.  I did tell her I wouldn't help her more this evening.  But I did a lot today, in town and when I returned.  I was well past shot.  Didn't get in a snit, just said no.  Or she would have had me do a dozen more things.  Nothing fancy, or angry, just "no".

Later or good night.

Oh, so hot out there!

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I got up around 8:30.  Seemed warm even then.  A shower and coffee.  Before a drop, I checked my blood sugar... 96 fasting.  Now I'm happy.  Low 100s is okay.  Sub 100 is optimal.  Down to the 70s.  BP wasn't good, but they did it the old way, at the office.  I... thought so...  Machines give galsely high numbers.  A quart of coffee wouldn't have lowered it from 195/120 to 156/95.  Nor would the busy drive in.

Fake and gay, the machines.  Paid to find pathologies and bad numbers, to medicate you more.  I'll have to forgo bp machines, just do it myself if they really need it.  American medical is criminal at this point.  Some of it.  Foot doc seems legit, though.  One out of dozens.  Not a good look.

Got a shower, after coffee.  Got the boxes broken down out to the car.  Did a few things to get mom started.  Oh, she wanted me to start the roast, my way.  I did it mostly my way.  Would have added water to the broth.  Wasn't in the mood to haggle the point.  Soon.  Then to the post.  To pay a letter cum package so that it would be delivered.  The shipping was more than the value, if sometimes cost misses the point.  It really can be the thought.  On my dollar though.  But even I have sympathy on a poor ol' thing.  The woman has been against it since the day she was born, as with most women.  If they always mistake how.  Not another word.  ;p

On to town.  Boxes in.  The appointment.  A car wash.  And... something else.  Then home.  So damned hot!

I have to go to town tomorrow.  The last of mom's meds to be picked up.  Returns to amazon.  The dry cleaner pickup.  And a few other things.  Sort of no choice.  But, I told her, after that I am done for the weekend.  Other than resting, sleeping, work up here.  It is supposed to get to 97 today.  At 95 by 14:00, I am hoping 97 is the top.  It could easily top a hundred at this point.

I am resting, sleeping, for a bit.  Ah, supper is ready.  Dinner?  After 17:00, soI'd go with supper.  Dinner is earlier.  In my book.

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Ugh.  It was hot.  Food was good though.  Roast and a few veggies.  On to just a bit of blog and real news reading.  Not much of yhat these days... Leftist camp and Trump camp... both are full on tribal lie distributors at this point.  Epstine who?  Israel can genocide anyone they see fit, since they are the good guys (bought congress with former US taxpayer largess).  Etc.  If the left is mostly worse.  Only hating American faithful Jews, not secular Israeli pseudo Jews.  Well, and everything else being lies to cover other lies, to top falsehoods.  Trump is a comparative amateur at lying.  But he is working at it.  Gotta wonder how many those many, millions, more, repatriations will happen?  Five, ten, thousand.  Probably not even all he is deciding to claim are "real" illegals (when they all are).

Huh?  Hot.  If that isn't all or close to most or the worst problems.  Still, hoping to wake, and do some work tomorrow.  Or not.  Good night.

Got it.

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The kefir grains, drained of whey overnight, is what my grandmother had made.  Calling it cottage cheese.  Now, she used the grains as the end product, while I pulled the whey before it parted, as drinkable if more probiotically potent yogurt... aka kefir.  But this is easily doable.  I've always had a significant excess of grains left over from my processing.  I just didn't have the will to push through to use that for myself.

Though, yes.  I will happily replace store bought cottage cheese with this.  

As well, she sampled the kefir... reluctantly.  I doubted she would like it.  To my surprise she did.  If I did caution her to go slow on these foods to start out.  They can have a serious cleansing property.  She may well see how to use these things, including whey when taught not to think of it as hog trough discard, and see where it can act as natural preservative for even refrigerator pickles, and such.  Well, and as a natural fermenting agent (non-alcoholic form).

She made hot poppers tonight.  And hot dogs plus blue cheese crumbled in with my dressing on a salad.  I am getting back to a meal a day, or every other day.  She does two or three, and snacks.  Keeps trying to get me to eat what I won't eat.  Would have been different a  year ago.  Though I limit sweets.  She has until Friday for her cake.  Still there when I wake Friday, it gets tossed.  Can't have more until late next week.  If she gets and keeps a hidden stash, unless I find it, I don't care.  If she offers it to me?  Garbage.  Open each package.  Lessons.

Man, she really gets confused.  Believes I said something I know I didn't.  Like potatoes are okay, or to add regular sugar to something, or that I gave her something I definitely did not.  Could I be wrong.  Doubtful.  Some things I won't argue, other than to state I did not say or agree to that.  Other things I will make absolutely blazing clear that her conversation in her head had nothing to do with me.

Oh, I found keto pancake batter.  Even it is pretty high, at 16 varbs for  four saucer sized pancakes.  Nearly my whole alottment of carbs, without an even keto topping.  Could just add butter.  I have several packs.

Anyway.  A mostly quieter day.  Helped her a bit, a few times.  Rested when possible.  Didn't work up here... or much.  A few things.  Ugh.  I am feeling... better.  Still need a bit more rest.  And want to hit it up here, this weekend, hard.

As I keep telling her, one thing at a time.  One day, hour, moment, room, task, at a time.  It's not a sprint, let alone a sprinting marathon.  Not even the idea of a marathon, a race based on the death inducing 23 mile run of a Roman soldier... if the story is to be believed?  No, it's... just moments of work, sleep, and rest... stitched into a tapestry started at birth, materially ended at death, if I vouch that that is just the cover of the book, not close to the whole, or rest, of the story.

Slow it down.  It will all be there tomorrow.  Much of it even if you did it today.  Amen to that, sister.  Good night.

She thinks I am spoiling her.

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I am not.  I am merely making sure she has what she needs for an easier life, and enough for basic living.  She is losing weight, so needs a few things.  She can't find some things.  And probably needs more shoes than she needed in the nursing home, and better shoes.

She needs things to make mobility easier.  As well, as I bring her more toward keto/carnivore, I am buying foods to help.  If she wants to make things for herself, up to a point, okay.  But, say, a whole normal cake?  No, it would be too tempting.  Or make it and toss three quarters of it.  OR... make a keto cake.  If even then I won't eat much.  Don't trust those.  But better than a sugar and seed oil cake.

As well, for now, more veggies and such.  Mostly for her.  Next month, other than meat, eggs, and dairy, she will have to buy else.  Veggies, mostly.  Candy and sweets (but as I told her in limited amounts or I'll toss if tempted).

Plus, she is buying some of what she needs and wants too.  Rent, she paid, and another double that, has been spent on her this month.  Just by me.  True.  I don't think she understood her needs, or how expensive the world got.  This is not spoiling.  It is helping to get her set up for her age and condition in a new place.

She does a lot of work.  Definitely adding a woman's touch to the place.  I don't begrudge helping her live better and easier.  That isn't spoiling.  It will taper, a bit.  Though... having a woman in the house is expensive.  They... go theough supplies, have needs and wants, and just... spend, want, need, and do... things.  But, it will be more sharply tapering, and she brings money in two ways, so... it'll even out in time.

Later.

No troubles.

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If mom died, she did so peaceably, asleep.  Though she seemed to be breathing and sleeping well?  As far as I could tell, if I didn't want to risk waking her either.  Nothing seemed amiss or otherwise out of place.  Always a minor relief to... find things as hoped, not feared.

While up, I filled water jugs.  All filled.  Got one batch of ice finished, another in the making.  Had a late mug of fatted coffee, plus cheese and summer sausage.  Oh, and reset kefir.  I left some out to drain, into a kefir grain facsimile of cottage cheese?  Will find out.  Her mom used to make something, that to me, sounds like kefir grains left to empty of whey, dry out.  I have that going.  I am hoping I can revive a memory.

She didn't learn how to do this particular food process before her mother died.  She learned much, but there is so much and so little time.  I am hoping this is it, or will do.  It will, then, need to be salted, peppered, and chilled.  Perhaps mixing in a dash of whole cream to make it smooth, creamy, softer.  I will taste it, but more want the drinkable kefir than grain cottage cheese.  Though why not a touch of both?  Then I toss fewer grains... one can hope.  But have to start slowly on that, or it will clean you out in a fast hard whoosh!  I can eat it without hastle.  She should use mild caution... or throw caution (and else) to the winds?  ;p

Now on to sleep, again.  Good night.

Awake?

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Doesn't matter much.  Wide awake?  Yep.  Did I forget to do something?  Water was turned off.  The eye of chuck roast was cut, wrapped, and put up.  Made mom coffee, using her coffee... which was more expensive than mine.  :p  mine was $14.xx, hers was ~$18, though mine is per pound, she probably got between two and three pounds.  Still, she was thinking less than $10.  I asked her how long it had been since she shopped.  Thought she had bought that more recently, while shopping for her friend.  Nope.  Sticker shock is strong with this one.

Oh, not laughing.  I felt bad for her, as well as the rest of us.  Inflation hasn't any more been checked by Trump than Biden.  Sorry fan-boys.  It just isn't true.  He has done things, but drags his feet on many things, merely changes which crony capitalist gets .gov trough time, and alters a few things, lightly, the next pig caller in chief will simply change back.  He is back to full on Trump light.  He got back on the billboard.  Roused then smashed repubs, while getting them to cheer for their continued emasculation.  Whatever.  Which is why I don't vote for a team that isn't on my side.  Teams are either most thirdworld and foreign controlled, or Israel and rich American (who are general foreign owned or operated cartels).  Nothing for US citizen Joes.

I would like to do a few things up here.  Just... can't.  Only slept a few hours.  Trying to figure out why I am awake.  Will put some shorts and a t-shirt on and check mom.  We have been reliably wishing each other a good night, and saying we love each other.  Even if a bit angry, if that isn't a common, or as common of an, event lately.

We may still not agree, at all.  Sometimes about bigger things.  Sometimes I simply say no.  Sometimes she insists.  Usually just not on the same things.  *chuckles*  Though rarely, sometimes still.  What happens, happens.  We go off, or finish a task.  Then just cool off.

Not this month, or next, we will get her a beta fish.  She loved those.  Lost her last one to a housefire.  Then it was always 'too soon' for another.  Then she was in a nursing home.  Might get two, albeit for different rooms.

Tomorrow, save for help setting her up, lifting some things, and a few tasks I have, the goal is to hit my room.

Oh?  And, while I still have a belly?  And last I checked was pushing back to 240 pounds?  My waist is down to 36, if more like 34?  It almost horrifies me.  Mostly in a good way.  It's that I still have belly?  It is continuing to shrink, slowly.  But how can I have such a small pants waist fit area and still so much stomach?  Sure, I haven't had this little stomach in thirty six to thirty four years, a few years after I fell ill.  But, still, it seems rude.

On to check downstairs.  Just to make sure the hind brain isn't telling me there is a problem.  Doubt it, but patents know, if they wake oddly, to check.  And, I guess, so to adult children tending their elder folk.  Gah!  But it's not bad to have people in one's care.  Even growly old farts like me.

Later or good night... again?

Another trip to town.

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Solo this time.  Had to do a bank deposit.  Did some shopping while at it. From nail polish remover for mom, to various mostly carnivore food.  It is hot out there.  It's been worse, will probably get worse.  But it was a stretch as is.

Just to the bank, store, and post office.  Mom wanted a few things from elsewhere.  I was neither willing or able.  Late night duties, plus doing work in the room, plus helping her.  I... didn't want out today.  No choice.

With the place getting flowers, and cleaned up a bit, I half expected family of the original owning family to eventually show up.  Gary did today.  Sooner than anticiated.  Asked if he could use his metal detector.  I didn't mind.  Though I should stipulate that if he finds something of some worth we go 60%/40%.  Yes, I would expect the lion's share.  I... get the feeling, from this and other experiences, that there were rumors of buried treasure.

Most such were created to... maintain a level of... familial resppect, based on wealth that never existed.  Still, you never know.  Yea.

Plus, he had three homes here close together.  Which one he would have buried it on is anybody's guess.

Back to shorts, cotton socks, and open shoes.  A bit of talking with mom.  A bit of cutting a chuck eye into roasts, then a nap.  Later.  Or good night.

Late.

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Very.  Slept a bit a few times today.  Went down after 23:00.  Mother was still up.  So we had tea.  Iced for her, fresh brewed for me.

I noticed, a week ago, that my hair has been filling in and growing?  Tonight we both realized, beyond a doubt.  My hair has grown between four and six inches since we met in Iowa.  It had been the length it was there and then for... months?  A year?  Longer?  I still wwonder if I have been being poisoned.  If so, that has, mostly (?) stopped?

Anyway, it was clear to me something major changed.  It was clear to her that length and volume have greatly increased.  She doesn't have a past with which to grasp, contend, but is still... impressed.

Anyway.  I turned the water on, for the front lawn.  We had our libations.  Talked a bit.  Then she went on to bed.  I did a few last minute things for her.  Then camee up and rested until it was time to shut the water off.  If I did some sorting and hanging clothes.

Not tonight, but tomorrow I know where to put bedding.  No room up here, or currently.  That will clear at least another basket.  Cleared another.  Hoping to clear one more for tomorrow.  As well as finally get to wheree I stowed hangers, which I need for a few piles of shirts.

I remembered to get garbage out tonight, as a last minute thing.  Hope I didn't disturb her, but maybe she knew what that was, as I had suggested I would do so.

Fairly deep into the morning.  Want to be up and out, soon, against my wishes.  Some busiiness to sort.  Maybe some shopping, and a return while at it.  Just to not have as much to do next time, since I have to go anyway.  So tired, I'll try to get some sleep now.

Doing pretty good.  Just not healing, resting up, or working as fast or well as I would like.  All good, given some options.  

Good night.

Have I created a monster?

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Shopping on amazon is so damned easy, and expensive.  Can get way out of hand without caution.  And she has been in old folks' home lockdown for three, four, years.  Plus, she just moved, so is trying to set up her new 'fish bowl'.  But... we are going to have to watch things.  It is really easy to overdo.

I have... some reserves, and else.  Even so, it can eat you alive.  A rule I have is that nothing goes back for buyers regret.  If the size is off?  If it was poorly (wrongly advertised), broken, or even if I find it at a much better price (an allowed, by them, grievance), sure.  But not because I ordered it then, but now don't want to pay.  I hold her to those rules on my account.

She has planted flowers (annuals, one year types).  She wants rototilling up front, for spring and annuals.  Though we are going to have to talk.  The area she wants, if I must plant stupid flowers, will get lily of the valley, not tulips or other such nonsense.  But we can sort this out.

Grill is going for steak.  Didn't go the first shot.  I lowered the hood.  Even with the major spot airway clean open.  Ah, didn't open the lower vent.  Not sure, may have to reset it again, again.  Gah!

Top sirloin tonight.  We'll have ribeye later this week for a late 4th cookout.  All good.  Will be getting the flattop going this week.  More for eggs, bacon, and such.  Though it can do a steak or chop easily, or burger crumble.  Grilling isn't my favorite, though for burgers, dogs, and brats it works well... the best, mostly.  Plus, no mess.

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Super full.  The top sirloins were really good, mine was.  Fried mushrooms and onions on the side.  My water for me, straight tea for her.  She doesn't like my carbonated water, flavored or not.  I like or love the variations I can find and choose.  I was still stuffed from the blt's yesterday!  Still haven't gotten into the chicken breasts for me from yesterday.  Will heat those tomorrow, then shred them over a salad.  Should be enough for both of us, if she may have another meal or two?  With my fatted coffee, I get plenty of calories and nutrition.

Probably a nap, now.  Then work later.  Sleep after that.  And more work ir resting.  Her endtable will be set up tomorrow.  And her new shower system.

I am going to have to just leave sometimes.  She... begins trying to have me do everything.  I just mossie on when she gets that way... when I realize it.  Ugh.  Later, or good night.

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Oh!  My best friend got a new toy that may allow another plan for myself, his brother, and himself, to move forward.  Hint... wearing helmets is keenly advised.  Even if I don't seem to need them.  ;p  Woot!  A bit jealous, in the good way.  Wives aren't all bad.  Ha.

OMG, women are retarded.

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She is cleaning the grill. That... isn't what makes her retarded.  She has needed several pails of water.  That isn't it either.

Arguing with me about things I know... can make her retarded.  The grill fits in there.  But not with the big coal starter (which I use as a smaller, hotter, grill).  They can't both fit the egg formed grill shell at once.  Would have to cut the chimney in half or thirds.

But, she argued with me about not having a center plate for the cast grill.  I knew there is, or had been one.  She argued for three minutes that there was no such thing (which would have meant she tossed it without thinking... then forgot, or was hiding the fact).

I then told her it had definitely been here yesterday.  I saw it, with a cast lifter tine, for removing both the center and outer round... if you have the strength, and I do.  She, then, said "This?".  Yep.  Then told me she was washing the center round piece she had just argued wasn't here and never existed.  Retarded!!!  Ugh.

But the grill has been cleaned.  Will find charcoal, and get those sirloins going later.  Ugh.  Ten minutes of absolutely useless debate.  She was wrong about every aspect.  And she will never admit it.  I think they just want attention, though... they do seem to be a bit retarded.

Can't stack dishes in the washer, or retrieve cat food, in any kind of simple ordered fashion either.  Then again the cat food thing?  Whoever steals it is either another woman or similarly retarded.  The odd removal process (beside hidden numbering) is how I know about that.

Got the battery in to the riding mower.  No-go.  Haven't been able to start the gas trimmer.  New fresh gas, all was started by my friend earlier.  I texted.  He will try to show mercy and be by... today, or when possible.  If they start right up for him, I will officially hate those devices.

Retarded.  She may not be the only one?  Bah!

Resting, cooling, for a bit.  I'll get her bedside put together and up later.  Tomorrow, the shower head and grab bar for the shower.  The day after, perhaps the bedside grab bar.  Then, when the tv mount arrives, getting that up and the tv on it, will be the last of setup chores.

Painting... will happen... when it happens.  Her stuff being sorted is her thing.  If I can move a few things in, out, and up as needed (but not constant, a few hit and runs).  My room needs much work, I need sleep and rest.  What happens will happen as is possible, in it's time.

Later.

Awake, with plans.

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Feeling a bit more rested.  Slept three or four cycles in the last two days.  Much needed too.  She just waits to pounce with tasks.  A few more, already agreed to, some ongoing, alway a few that pop up.  But, after a few batches to finalize, and other than a few support through things, I'll be staying almost solely with figuring and sorting my room, areas, and sleep cycles.

We also need to get to making food with leftovers.  While that isn't anyone's favorites, doing stacks of dishes, and cooking, everyday, isn't acceptable either.  Which is were roasts in the crockpot, egg casseroles, and such, shine.  And larger amounts.  She has a thing for tiny roasts.  That feed two for one or two lighter meals.  I use roasts that served for three to five days themselves.  With salads, keto foods, and else around, edible with minimal to no cooking or prep, that can be stretched to two for three days easily.

With the 4th coming up, meat was difficult to find, and horribly expensive.  I have some slim hope for better prices and availability here on in.  I'll begin looking later this week, as I get out for medical.

For a bit, I am planning to sort the clothes, and a few boxes.  Two baskets of clothes a box of new and a box of old things, clothes, random, is the minimum goal.  A few more would be better.  Then back to sleep?  Resting?  Or coffee then one of those.  Can't be sure.

A few agreed to things, a few side things through the day.  And more rest and work up here as possible.  Grinding from exhaustion still.  So I won't push, or be pushed, hard.  The heart is slugging along, more tired than pained, now at least, finally.  I'd like to get it rested, if some of that will take a higher dose of medications than I can even take quite yet.  One thing at a time.

Well... best get on to things.  Later.