A cool day?

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Depends on how you see things.  Compared to the relatively hot summer days so far?  Sure.  It is reported to get to 89 as a high, out there, today.  At one time, that was brutal to me.  With the weight and size off, even the mid 90s and low 100s are okay, for a bit.  This temp, if that turns out to be fact, is almost pleasant.

Just gaming today.  As usual.  I haven't made coffee today, and may not.  I also may not eat.  I simply don't need food, not daily.  I like it, some days, most days.  I enjoy it.  Usually.  I simply don't need it.  It is good to go without.  As with feasting, I offer my fasting up to God.  In gratitude for the plenty I have.  I just can't pay another's way, less so the ungrateful.

Not great.

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On the one hand, life has been very good.  The stitch in the side is much lessened.  The feet cramping only happens a few times a week.  And I have been able to be awake much of the day during daytime even.  But getting to things is a whole other matter.

More crippled than usual.  I'd like to blame mom, she can distract which makes doing my list more difficult.  But that is a minor side additional thing, not the main cause, or one of them.

Good?

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A bit achy?  Hunger, just a nibble of that.  Tired, still, on the edges.  Though I must admit, getting to things is very difficult.  Just... doing... anything seems to be very difficult.

Still, I started a load of synthetics first thing.  And will do another load after that.  Though a shower between them?  Why two?  Well, colors.  Yes, even lighter synthetics will take color from darker, especially new, synthetics.  I saw a good price on synthetic base layers, and wanted to compare those with the merino wool ones I bought earlier.  An $80 price difference.  Though, my guess, is that each will have a better time for use, and way.  I have medium and heave merino wool ones, the synthetics were only offered in one weight.  I tried them on, one set.  It fit, so I want to wash them before really running them through their paces.  And... I had several other synthetics to wash already.

Okay...

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Down at ~23:15, up at eight.  I can do that.  I'd like to be to bed earlier, and be up earlier.  Though too, I'd like to sleep a little longer?  If I could get down by twenty hundred, up by six?  That, right now, given my levels of exhaustion, would be good.  Just a bit more sleep.  Not sure it is possible, but will be aiming for that, now that I am more awake?  Doing lightly better?  When I am crushed by poor health and whatever else, I don't have a lot of choice.  When I start doing better, I begin not only aiming at things, if not always hitting the target albeit, but being able to bring some force to bear on the matter, force and mind.  Will see.  But that is the plan.

Sleep was very good.  Warm enough, not too warm.  Comfortable.  No itchy scratchy sensations.  I thought something was in my hair, last night.  The only time I have ever had that happen.  but, this morning, while brushing my hair, I found a lock that had become... out of calibration with the rest.  While brushing, it rolled, and... I realized that was it.  Still, that... freaked me out.  If it were to have been a critter, it would have to have been a very small mouse or a very large spider.  And, the hair flop while brushing almost caused me to drop the brush for the same panic I felt earlier.  I flipped it a few times, and... yep.  Just a lock of hair that had gotten out of order... or something like that.  Rare for me.  Especially having showered a day ago or so.  Bleh.  Oh... it had been raining when I was out.  That... can do odd things to my mop.

A 71%.

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A dream.  A college course.  Philosophy.

I wasn't sure if the professor was just a cunt, or a sellout, or what.  Still, wasn't happy.  When I'm not happy about something, I go... face it.  Deal with it.  Win, lose, draw?  Be damned.  So, in I went.

Wonderful.

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Sleep was mostly good.  My feet were as if blocks of ice, couldn't get them to warm.  So had trouble getting to bed for that.  It was 78, up front here, when I went to bed.  And 77 upstairs.  I think it was between 22:30 and 23:00 when I finally got up and to bed.  Once I got the feet warm enough, and crashed, sleep was fantastic.

I set the alarms for eight and ten.  Hoping they would just be emergency use.  As hoped, not needed.  I woke at 4:46ish?  It was 76 near me, 73 in the main, up there.  It is 72 front room and main down here, and 46 outdoors.  A nice morning, really.  And, that, again, is with a fan upstairs, on a lower setting, the central air fan going, but the furnace set to 68.  Interesting, possibly fascinating.

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What... dreams?

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But... I have the sense they are not mine.

Who, out there, was touching my mind?  Do they know what they did?

A long sleep.

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No real memory of when I went to bed.  Three?  Five?  Seven?  I just... I think it was still dark?  Though... maybe not.  I slept well, though my leg wound kept hurting.  I rolled, often, heavily... like an alligator with pray.  Not sure why.  It wasn't all night, but when it happened, pillows went flying, blankets got totally messed up, but strangely the mattresses didn't become unaligned?  Walrus rolling!

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I dreamed I met a younger woman.  But she was a bit heavy, for my tastes.  We did talk.  I told her about losing a lot of weight, and that I was only, say, two thirds the way through?  Or so.  She asked how.  I asked if she was just asking, from being polite, or if she really wanted to lose weight.  She said she wanted to lose weight.

Getting chilly.

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Getting tired, too, again.  Nearing time to go on back to bed.

Something I saw the other day has been on my mind.  I put up a different video from this guy, but... this is the one I thought the more important.  What he suggests, about this and that?  Well, sure, probably?  Or... so I suggest as well.  However, the important thing is about calories.

Hot, cold, so on.

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Amazing.  I slept so well, last night, once I got warmed up.  The electric blanket, Sassy, and myself, had a wonderful night.  I woke for a bit, this morning.  Then went on back to bed.  Sassy was warm enough, so came on down and rested down here.  All good.

My wounds began aching, for the warmth?  I think so.  Then I cooled off this morning.  But... then they started hurting because they were too cool!  Argh!  I'm... about to go on back to bed for a while.  Warm up.

Sleep was pretty good.

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Not too hot, not cold, Turning, often, but without that being a problem.  Dreamed I was recruited, as potential, for a college football team?  But, when I was younger.  I wouldn't do some things, even so, was doing well.  Strange, because I wouldn't have gone out for sports even if I had gone on to college.  And, yes, I was all conference, or would have been if I was college bound.  They changed it to someone else, to help with their career.  I... didn't have much respect for athletics, even then.  Less so now.

The knee hurts a lot, as does the ankle.  But more from bruising than the twisting?  Even so, these are fading into less pain, all together, and by parts.  I'm just old.  That doesn't help.

Fifteen?

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Thousand.  This is, exactly, the 15,000th post.  Just... for your information.  And mine.  I... wasn't paying attention.  I just happened to be looking at the control panel, or whatnot, and noticed 14,999.  Then... noticed what it was about.  Okay.  That's... a lot of posts.  Babbling bs?  Whatever a cave man could have put on his walls, if he had letters, back in the day.  More true than any newspaper.  At least presented as honestly as possible.

Rained all night, off and on.  Was 54, last I looked, so I opened the window beside me.  Slept like a baby.  This morning it started snowing just as I looked out, here.  But in... large clumps, a heavy snow.  And it is down to 31.  The hush that falls over the world when that happens?  Wonderful.

Crap..

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I spent all night trying to find an "event", that I just found out is random.  It may or may not be on your playthrough.  No boss, or event, or dungeon, is guaranteed.  There are five or six variations of each, and only, say, two to four might show up.  I was sure I had it, at once.  But I must have rerolled.  I know what the entrace looks like.  So spent all "night" looking for something that just wasn't there.

I did find out that... the maps and such make zero sense.  That getting around is terrible.  It's... a minor flaw, but too, part of how the game works.  It's like complaining about the lever on a lever action rifle, or boobs on... well... you know.  As with those things, generally worth the hastle, so.  :p

A call, last night?

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So it seemed.  Had to call someone else, another old friend, to get the number.  But I got it, then called.  Spoke with him, may ten fifteen minutes.  Just told him what was going on, asked how he was doing, and such.

The weight loss...  I was probably closer to four hundred when he saw me last?  Or more, but about that.  And I was quite a bit younger, as was he.  He must have been somewhere around my age when I last saw him, give or take ten years?  Can't be positive, but... something like that.

I told him I wasn't talking to my brother, or mom.  And why.  We talked, about those things, and other things.  Yes, we talked.  He gave me some advice I really didn't think I'd take.

Anyway, this morning, as I woke, very late, I realized something.  He has been dead for a long, long time.  The last time I saw him was at the funeral home.  In his casket.  Had to help pull my mother away, she was having fits.  So...  It was... a while before that since we last talked.  I've prayed for the disposition of his soul, still do.

I'm rethinking his advice.  He... might have... more perspective on things.  I don't know where he is, but to be honest?  I think even those in hell... know better now.  Maybe not demons, but humans?  Yeah.  Not saying he is, or isn't.  Just... sayin'.  You know.  At least, that was the impression I got from my visits over there.

I'll take what I can get.  For advice from those on that side, or those I know.  As to whether that was a dream or not?  I... won't even try to speculate.  It... was him.  It was.  Later.

Had to get out.

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Not far, or long.  Packages in, at the post office.  I knew about one.  Expected some others.  It looks like they arrived several days ago, but it just reported it to me.  So... I best get to it.  No, I did get to it.  Items which make ironing easier.  Hams.  Sewing hams.  But, ones supposed to be filled with wood chips, hard wood chips, not fabric.  It makes a difference.  Are they what were advertised?  I'll find out soon enough.

Now, the source for these is from Australia?  Or New Zealand, or such.  Still, I thought buying them from amazon?  Nope.  They... traveled all the way from England.  The two items only cost $6.50 for shipping?  Between their "mail deliver", whatever that is, and ours?  Hmm.  Okay.

Strange.

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Staying awake until complete exhaustion.  I made it to 11:30 this morning.  It about killed me, but... I... really pushed.  Shoved.  Made it six more hours from when I really wanted to sleep.  I was sure, this time, today, that I would sleep long.  At 18:11, I popped out of bed like a tic getting a hot needle.  Bah!

A sweet dream.  I dreamed I was sleeping with a woman.  We slept, together, without touching, for a million years.  But, through the time, we got to know each other.  Everything about everything, just through... the mind, proximity.  Eventually, we awoke, and lived.  Man and wife?  Not so much.  As a single being.  I still got top, I don't care.  *grins*  Oh, it was a wonderful dream.

A wonderful dream?

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I didn't mention it, but last night I dreamed of getting married.  A fine, young, woman.  I mean wonderful.

We did well.  Got the house in order, then the yard.  Got things set up, for domestics, and... in time... children.

Very good sleep.

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The wound was ready for socks today.  So, longjohns and socks.  Doubling layers, hoping for a bit more comfort through the day.  Nothing can completely withstand that... chill.  But this will help, or should.  It was 61 upstairs, in both areas?  Strange, but okay.  Ah, but it is 27 outdoors.  So, yeah.  I suspect the house tries to heat up, does heat up extra, when it is in the 8 to 10 range.  Then that gets stored, to some degree.  So when it warms, it warms even more so.

Sassy has been tended.  Litter boxes, fresh water, and food.  I don't always do it first thing.  But I've been down around twelve hours, so I'll do that.  If just eight, I try to remember to stall feeding her for another hour or two.  She doesn't understand.  But I run out of her daily rations, which means she goes to bed hungry and there isn't a thing I can do about it.  But, my efforts are paying off for her.  She looks... better than she ever has.  She'll never be a svelte little kitty, fixing them young does that.  But, she can look better.  And... she does.  She looks healthy, not sloppy fat.

Up a bit earlier.

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Not down until midnight?  Yea.  Got stuck in the game.  Up at nine thirty.  Will do better, I think, today.

Feeling better.  Rolled better, or something.  Blood sugar is a bit higher, at 142 fasting?  My guess?  Eating all through the day.  Not a lot.  Four eggs, fatted coffee, tonic vinegar, more eggs, another coffee, and a couple of fatted bone broths in there.  I was... strangely hungry.  But unable to cook.

A dream, from last night.

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I ended up in some... ivy league college.  Didn't want to be there.  There... were reasons... to be there.  If you know me, you know how... uncomfortable I would be in such an evil place.  But, sometimes, like driving through Vegas, or visiting for exterior reasons, things must be tolerated.

One of the classes I had some hope for, was a course on classical music.  The woman teaching the course, was an opera singer... one who had even made it to my ears.  Her class was one of the few I was able to choose.

As it turned out, it wasn't a course on the history of opera.  Or on critique, or listening for understanding, or... any of those things.  What I didn't know was it was... the creation of a choir, for a year, maybe two... returns were possible, the following year.

Some students quit immediately, upon learning this in the first day.  I... held from dropping, before discussing this with her.  I am not a good singer.  Though, as I mentioned, when I had died, in purgatory, and I suspected above and below, singing was how communication was transmitted.  Though, there, one could be, was often in, several choirs at a time, many really.  Local, with someone close... in one or many surrounding local, as if eavesdropping but politely welcomed to do so, and then on up to the high choir that always sang praises to God.  Well, that... is how I remember things.

Anyway... I had to speak to her.  I didn't discus this matter, well... not initially.  I merely wished her to know that I was not a singer.  Doubted I could gain skill.  And let her know I was terribly stage shy.  But, if she thought her talents, and the way the course proceeded, could manage my limitations, I would entertain the challenge.  She thought so, as she said, always with hope.

And so it went.  I learned to sing.  And... better than I had imagined, down here on earth.  Great?  I... found a place in the choir.  As did most others.

In time, I told her of my story, of purgatory.  I don't think she was a believer, which sort of made the telling... awkward.  And, yet, I think it meant something to her.  The tale, for her, touched something.  I don't think she was ready to believe, but... in time.  And this added to it.  For she found me... honest... in some deep way.  But, for the moment, it remained and awkward thing.

As we became closer, she feared.  She had many students... men... in her classes... take a hankering to her.  Her voice, as they became skilled themselves, was alluring to the point of seeming love.  I assured her, I did love her.  But... as a sister.  In the full meaning therein.  I would love to have loved her more romantically, but I could see her flaws too, and our differences.  Even, in another world, with fewer options, we... just wouldn't be compatible?  Or... too compatible?  One of those.  I could wish for the sentiments, but they just weren't there.

Oddly, her disappointment in these last conversations were... more severe than her disappointments in the last conversations... about purgatory.  I think she hoped I had fallen.  Though whether for a feather in her cap, or because she had some small trifling of affection for me, I could not tell.  I hoped for a particular one, but she... would never give it away.  A man can dream... of a feather in his own cap?

Ah, but the music, singing... and she was a beautiful woman, in most ways.  Quite the dream.  A very odd dream, including parts of my past I rarely share.  I have dreamed this before, long long ago.  Decades?  Close to two, give or take five.  I loved the dream, but it wasn't as full as this one.  Or I just don't remember it as well.  I realized, while dreaming it, that I had... been here before.  Dream deja vu?  No, not deja vu.  A direct memory, just within the dream?  Odd.  But fairly regular for me.  I must recycle dreams a lot.

Oh, but... for some reason, this song resembled some of how I sensed she felt about me.  She wasn't... romantic, with me.  Just... women always try to puzzle men as they see us as the woman they are, could be, would be?  Women are nuts.  Men are just crazy.  :p  Well... or so it seems.  Amen?

A lord?  With very little interest in... ruling?  Among... other things.